Deeker's Message of the Week

It is with much sadness and mourning that I must report that last Tuesday, April 12, 2006 at around 12:20 AM mountain time, my brother Tigger's cat Ludo passed on; he was estimated to be twelve years old. This was the time when he sensed that his cat was ready to go. He went upstairs where Ludo had lain nearly motionless for the past couple days, too weak to eat or drink. It was such a sad sight and it moved me to tears to see him in such a state. Just a year ago he was so healthy and spry. He had been slowing down for the past few months and had been to the veterinarian a a few times and had been given medication. We did what we could do to keep him going. "Tigger" could sense that Ludo's spirit was ready to depart from his body and could sense the presence of the spirits of his grandparents and a friend of his who had passed before his time (I think he was in his mid 40s when he passed on). I got up and I could hear my brother crying as he had to face the fact that his cat had let go of his life on earth. No matter how long one anticipates and prepares for such things, there is no getting around the pain of losing a loved one, whether that loved one is a family member, a friend or a pet (which to me are both family members and friends alike.)

Needless to say, it was a very difficult night for Tigger and me. I was quite an emotional wreck to say the least, grieving not only for the loss of Ludo, but because I felt for my brother and his feelings, too, knowing how emotionally sensitive my brother is and knowing how attached he was to Ludo, just as I am attached to my cats (and to Ludo as well). I called my mom at about 12:30 AM, who was still awake, and asked her if we could bring Ludo to my mom and dad's house, and so we did. Tigger didn't want his recently departed cat in the house, and if it had been one of my cats I would have probably felt the same way. Tigger placed his cat in his carrier and we took him to my mom and dad's house and left him in the garage. I spent a moment to cry on my mom's shoulder and to hug her. I didn't get much sleep that night, and I had some really bizarre dreams, but I managed to make it through my workday on Wednesday. After I got home from work Tigger and I went to my mom and dad's house and had a funeral. Ludo was buried in the back yard at my mom and dad's house in the corner beneath a large tree. Tigger read the 23rd Psalm and a poen by e.e. cummings (its title I do not recall, sorry) and then, a bell was chimed. As I came back home I picked up each of my cats and gave them hugs and kisses, reaffirming to them and to myself just how much I love them.

It's times like this when I have to remind myself that my faith in God is genuine. I may not be an exemplary Christian in that I don't go to church or read the Bible much, and I do use His name in vain a lot in my frequent moments of impatience, frustration, anger and despair, but it takes serious, weighty moments such as this to remind me that God is there for me and He looks out for me. There is some peace and assurance that comes with knowing that our loved ones are in a better place and no longer suffering, so this helps.

Please do send your prayers and condolences as we go through these difficult times. Such support would be much appreciated.