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Deeker's Message of the Week

May 12, 2002

Keeping It Secret

For those of you who keep your diaper-related activities on your computer a secret, how do you cover for yourselves when you are asked what you do on your computer? If you have diverse hobbies or interests involving the computer you probably have no problem answering such questions. A lot of people who know me-- mostly family, a few friends and co-workers-- know that I am an avid computer user and I frequently spend time on the Internet. They sometimes ask me what I do while I am online or just what I do with my computer. One guy at work always asks me what I did last weekend or what I did the night before. I am often pressed for coming up with a meaningful answer without telling him what I really did, but often times end up just saying something like "not much, really." If I am asked more specifically which sites I visit I usually rattle off a list of random web sites I visit often or have visited recently (e.g. The Onion, The Straight Dope, etc.) These people usually don't ask for details and my answers usually satisfy their curiosity (which is probably just small talk anyway). It does help if I provide a few anecdotes from these sites which I feel may be of interest to them. Still, there is only so much web surfing a guy can do. I don't shop around on EBay or play any online games (hell, I hardly even have time to play Solitaire, much less play something like Everquest). I only chat for a couple nights a week, and I'm not much of a conversationalist at that. I do my best communicating through email and spend a lot of time writing it. I can compose my thoughts completely and at my own leisure this way, which I prefer to communicating with others in "real time."

The point to all of this is that I don't want to leave these people with the impression that I'm addicted to the Net or to my computer, but the honest truth is that I do spend a lot of time in front of it, and most of this time is related to my diaper fetish. These tasks include maintaining this web site, reading and writing stories, processing survey responses, exchanging email with dozens of friends who share this interest, and making drawings. It's what I love to do and I wouldn't change a thing about it.

Still, these people like to know how I account for all my time away from work since I don't have a wife or kids to spend this time with and that I spend most weeknights home alone as well as much of the time on the weekends. They all know that I don't go outdoors much and that "social life" is almost a complete oxymoron to me. I am far removed from the dating scene for reasons I won't go into right now. My family and friends know that I spend very little time doing household chores and therefore am not a very good housekeeper since I never let them in to my place. This, in itself, may further arouse suspicions about my seemingly secretive behavior. I don't even watch much TV nor rent very many movies. Naturally, a person who knows all this about me couldn't help but wonder, "just what exactly does he do with all his spare time?" There are some people whom I'd like to tell that it's none of their business how I spend my extra time, but my defensiveness would only seem to further arouse their suspicions in that I am hiding something very big from them (which I am), and I'd rather not be an uncivilized jackass about such questions anyway in the interests of maintaining friendly relations with others.

As I live alone, I am fortunate enough that I do not need to keep anyone from using my computer or having to keep hidden any of the files that are on it. If I had a roommate, wife or live-in girlfriend whom I tried to keep this away from, this would complicate matters even more. I don't have to keep everything on floppies or CDs to avoid prying eyes.

I realize that in the long run it would be easier just to 'fess up and tell all, that way I would no longer have to keep hiding this part of me from them, but there would also be some great risks involved in doing this. I'll cover the topic of confessions and the potential consequences in a future MOTW. For now, I'd like to ask anyone who has dealt with a similar situation to mine to share his story. Tell me how you respond to questions about what you do in your spare time or what you like to do on your computer when you'd rather not tell people what it is you really like to do. As always, just email them to me. I will post any worthwhile responses that I receive in next week's MOTW.

Site Outages

Outages have continued to plague this site over the past week. I realize they are an incovenience and I apologize for them. Unfortunately these outages are beyond my control. The person who runs the server that hosts this site had to shut things down in response to crackers (not hackers, yes, I'm pedantic) interfering with his other servers, which affected other people's web pages (but not mine). At last report he had these problems taken care of.

Diaper Boy Drawings

A few samples of my diaper boy drawings are posted. If you want me to send you the entire collection of ../Images to date (nearly 700 .gif format ../Images, contained in 15 zip files), just submit your request here. The files will be sent one at a time and are, on average, about 500-600K.

Story Statistics

Due to the site outages and system shutdowns, no data were available on downloads. Sorry.

Off the Topic

I had the pleasure of seeing Spider-Man last week. I won't spoil it for those of you who haven't seen it. Even if you never read Spider-Man comics, as I didn't, I would still recommend seeing it.

As today (5/12) is Mother's Day, let's all honor our mothers for all the things they did for us, not the least of which is changing our dirty diapers. For some of you out there, they still do. Have a good week everyone. Stay happy and thickly diapered!

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