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Deeker's Message of the Week

March 24, 2002

First and foremost, I would like to comment on a very serious matter that came up a few weeks ago, and then again yesterday. Some of you may know the story about John Dazel (JD). A few weeks ago it was revealed that he was not a teen after all, as he had led many of us to believe for several years. Instead, he is an adult, mid-twenties, if I recall. I must say that I felt quite betrayed as did a lot of other people. Some still feel that he should not be ostracized by our "community" (I really don't like this word in this context for some reason, but I can't think of a better word) because of the contributions he has made to it, even if under the guise of a teen.

While I appreciate what JD had contributed to the AB/TB/DL community, I just wish he had done it honestly and not under a false TB persona. I have always prided myself on that I am honest with disclosing my age and always have been. I must admit that there have been times when I wanted to pretend to be a TB or PTB just like the boys I write about in my stories and post under this name. I have entertained the fantasy of emulating Chris Barrett, the diaper-crazed boy in "Diaper Desires" and "Forever in Diapers", as I consider Chris to be my alter ego, the boy whom I wish I could have been when I was growing up. My conscience would never allow me to do this, though. My commitment to maintaining my integrity and the respect of so many people, teens and adults alike, plus my overall moral background, is what has kept me from actually doing this. I'm certainly not one to damage my credibility and my reputation. I would feel racked with insurmountable guilt and remorse and I could never again face the many kids and adults whom I have reached out to and have served over the years via my web site.

I also realize that there are many dangers which can arise from taking on a false identity. One would have to make sure that he never contradicted himself. I recall someone saying something to the effect of "when you tell the truth you never have to remember what you said." I never have given any serious thought to doing anything like this and I can assure all of you that I never will.

Sure, it might be fun for a week or two to pretend that I'm a young teen again going into puberty with raging hormones and first realizing the powerful sexual urges that make diapers so incredibly appealing to me. Since I missed by about one generation having the Internet available to me while in my teens to help me satisfy these feelings, it would be even more fun to vicariously experience this new technology as if I were a teen who has been kept in diapers all his life and is teased constantly by his two older sisters. This is one reason I choose to explore these fantasies through the stories that I write instead.

I know that the ride would be over soon and I'd either have to disappear from existence, or come clean. For someone whose online presence is only known for a short while, it's easy to bail out, but for someone who is in it for the long haul and establishes many contacts along the way, it reaches a point where he can't just make a fast exit without confessing his true identity. Even if one does pretend he's a teen for several years, it can't last forever. Whether in reality or in fantasy, you still turn 18 sooner or later. I can only imagine the far-reaching psychological effects that playing a long-term game of deceit must have on a person.

While I chatted with JD a few times and exchanged some emails with him, I never really knew him that closely. Yesterday I once again realized that I had been a victim of one's deceit, but this incident was far more personal, that is, I had closely exchanged email with this person for almost the last five years. To say that it was quite a shock to me is an understatement, especially the details which led to this revelation (nothing illegal, I can assure you). I will not now nor in any future MOTWs state who he is; please do not email me to ask who he is. I will not disclose this information.

I also will not now nor in the future comment any further on the specifics of how he deceived me. I need some time to think about how to respond to his confession as I have many questions to ask him. I will say that he has contributed some fine stories to this site, and even in light of this incident I will still welcome future installments of his story. I want to very strongly discourage everyone from speculating whom it might be, and above all, I want to strongly discourage everyone from instigating any rumors about any of the other fine authors and contributors to this site as a result of such speculation.

This writing isn't meant to preach to anyone. We all know that lying and deceiving people is wrong, but yet some people still choose to do it. I just want to bring it out in the open that deceit does exist and that not everyone is necessarily who he/she claims to be.

In closing, I do want to state that in spite of how shocking this revelation was to me, that I still forgive this individual and I welcome him to continue his correspondence with me. Because I have felt the temptation to do this myself, I can understand what drives others to do it as well. I also know that it usually ends up biting them in the ass eventually when everything catches up to them. This latest incident is indeed more proof that while the Internet is a wonderful medium for discussing wearing diapers with other people, a subject we'd likely never talk to anyone about in person, the Internet also makes it especially easy for someone to take advantage of the semi-anonimity that being online offers, and masquerading under an alternate identity. I can't and won't condone this behavior because of the damaging effects it can have on a person and on the people who come to know him or her, however he or she chooses to present himself/herself to these people.

Missing in Action

I will use this header in this and in future MOTWs to attempt to establish contact with people whose email addresses prove to be no longer valid. I will not post the email address itself, even if it isn't working. I will also avoid using first and last names together, but will otherwise provide as much unique information as I reasonably can. If you have been expecting to hear back from me and have not gotten a response, you might want to check the MOTW to see if your name is listed. For this week, I only have one such person.

NameDate attempted to contactMessage
Jimie03/19/02 I tried to send you some diaper boy drawings, but the email bounced back as an unknown user. If you are out there and are reading this, please contact me.

True Account Submissions

Sorry to go into rant mode again, but I feel that I have no choice but to address issues in such a manner when I see a particular problem become prevalent enough to warrant such action. Specifically, I am referring to the several emails I received last week as True Account Submissions which contained so little information that I felt they were not at all worth posting. In fact, there was so little information in them that I can include all of them here in their entirety:

First off, I truly think it's great that you all enjoy diapers and I appreciate you sharing this with me and wanting to share it with others. That's what this web site is all about, after all. However, please understand that I cannot allow these submissions to pass as stories to be listed on the True Accounts page. Even though I don't ask for a minimum length on true accounts, I think that using a little bit of discretion would be enough to determine what counts as a story for this section, and what doesn't. I welcome your input for this site, but if for whatever reason you aren't able to contribute at least something a few paragraphs long, may I suggest that you post your comments to the Guestbook instead, as this section is better suited for such short entries. I will appreciate your understanding and your consideration.

Surveys and the Proposed Deeker Diaper Boy Award

Thanks, as always, to those of you who have submitted survey responses or have arranged for your siblings to submit responses. One thing I would like to ask those of you who have gotten your brothers or sisters to do the survey is, what did you do to get him or her to participate? Were you embarrassed to show it to him or her, or did he or she take the iniative to do the survey without going through you? Perhaps I can add this and a couple other questions to the sibling surveys.

Most of the responses I receive are pretty interesting and enjoyable to read. Some of them especially capture my attention. I have been keeping a list of the Diaper Boy survey responses that were especially intriguing to me. I plan to do the same for the Brother and the Sister Surveys. Specifically I feel that two of the Sister Surveys received this week, #149 and #150, deserve special recognition. The boys described in these responses would both get my Deeker Diaper Boy Award and will get it once it is established. The Deeker Diaper Boy Award is my proposal for recognizing the boys out there whose real- life situations best represent the overall theme on this site. These responses are the ones which most closely match the ideas presented in many of the stories that I write. Such stories, if written, would meet most of the criteria that I have specified on my Guidelines page that I consider to make for an ultimate diaper story. These criteria are as follows:

This recognition will be applied retroactively to all the survey responses received from the beginning. Brother Surveys which mention no sisters or other girls, but sufficiently meet the other criteria specified, are eligible to receive this recognition. The responses selected for this recognition, once re-posted, will always be online and will not have to be viewed by being extracted from the zip files which contain older responses.

Diaper Sighting Reports

Looks like this week made up for last week's-- pardon the pun-- dry spell. With eleven sighting reports received last week, I'm hopeful that the weekly count will rise as the weather here in the Northern Hemisphere warms up.

Diaper Boy Drawings

You want 'em, I got 'em! The count is now up to 507 ../Images done, with more of them always in production. Just submit your request here.


At long last I finally got around to weeding out all the dead links on my links list! I know that quite a few of you had told me about the high number of dead links (about 15-20 of them) listed, and I appreciate you letting me know.

Since this space is reserved for my own editorial comments, I'll mention it here that of all the maintenance tasks that go into running my web site, I consider weeding out dead links to be the most tedious and least rewarding. I don't mind adding new links as requests for them come in, but I find it to be rather monotonous to go through each link just to see if it still works. Inevitably some pages will take too long to load or will somehow become a different site altogether and trap my browser into some damn porn portal. (thank God for Pop-up Killer.) My experiences with this problem tend to drain me of my precious patience and as a result I am sapped of my ambition to maintain the links list more often than I have to.

Message Board

Only two people commented on having a message board for this site, so the support for it this time around doesn't seem to be there, either. One person commented that the board could become a battleground for flame wars and the like. People may use it to say that a particular story sucks. While such a person is entitled to his opinion, to have such messages posted would not be conducive to encouraging the author to continue and would thus defeat the purpose of having the board. While having a moderated board would be a solution, it would add to my already busy schedule of processing surveys, reading, reviewing and approving stories and their updates, preparing such stories for posting, keeping up on the email, writing my own stories, doing diaper boy drawings, not to mention going to work 40 hours a week and managing to get 5 or 6 hours a night for sleep. Besides, I think most people like to see their posts right away. With this said, I have decided to scrap the message board idea indefinitely.


The Guestbook Charts and Graphs have finally been udpated. The overall ratios haven't changed much since I last updated them at the end of September 2001, but the numbers are up to date.


I found out last night that my 6-year-old nephew had wet his bed the previous night. This is only the second time I have heard about him doing this. Still, maybe some Goodnites are in his future. :) As much as I would like to talk to him about this and assure him that lots of boys his age wet their beds and wear Goodnites or diapers for it, I won't embarrass him by bringing up the topic.

Off the Topic

I've been seeing quite a few movies as of late, after having only seen maybe three a year at the most for the last five years or so. Last week I saw Time Machine. A couple weeks before that I went to Snow Dogs, and before that I saw The Mothman Prophecies. This week I saw Resident Evil. This movie isn't for the faint of heart. It was quite a thriller. I won't spoil it with any other details. Just check the link to find out more.

Here's a little consumer tip. You know those Ragu Express spaghetti meals that you can put in the microwave? They taste like shit. The Easy Mac macaroni is pretty good, however.

Other than that, this week was just business as usual. Have a great week everyone, and stay happy and thickly diapered!


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