BRIAN THE BEDWETTER: PART 1
---------------------------
Hello, my name is Brian, I'm nine years old. I used to live with my father
and I rarely got to see my mother or my eleven- year-old sister Jessica, who
lived over 200 miles from here in another state. Only on special occasions--
namely Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas-- would I ever see mom and Jessica,
and this was at my grandparents' house about halfway between here and mom's
place. Not until I moved in with mom did I ever see where she and Jessica lived
since I last lived with them.
Mom and dad were divorced when I was only two years old and Jessica had
just turned four. The courts arranged custody so that Jessica lived with mom and
I lived with dad. Both mom and dad were poor, and because money was so tight for
both of them, neither of them could afford to drive us to my grandparents' place
more than a few times out of the year. Dad never stayed to visit, he'd just drop
me off and then go visit my Uncle Edward, who, like dad, was divorced but had no
kids and also isolated himself from my mom's side of the family. After a day's
visit, dad would pick me up and take me back home with him.
There were times when I wish I could have stayed at my grandparents' house
or gone home to live with mom and Jessica. Living with dad was a miserable time
for me. Dad didn't even have to be as poor as he was. He made enough money to
adequately support himself and me. Dad's big problem was his drinking; he was an
alcoholic. This is what caused him and mom to split up in the first place. Dad
spent so much of his money on alcohol and cigarettes. He also owed thousands in
legal fees to his attorneys and the courts because of his prior DUI convictions.
As a father, dad wasn't too adept at administering his paternal duties. As
my sole custodian, he had to carry the full burden of raising me, and this
included toilet training. Dad more or less didn't even bother it and just left
me in diapers until I started going to the bathroom on my own. I learned to take
my own diaper off, though dad would always put it back on me after I used the
toilet, "just in case you have an accident." Dad wouldn't let me go without
diapers until I was almost five because I was still wetting the bed. Even though
I only wet the bed, dad kept me in diapers all day long.
I don't know how the courts determined that my dad was a good enough man
to carry out his duties as a father. Besides being an alcoholic, he was quite
negligent. He didn't seem to be too concerned about the fact that I was always
wetting the bed and used diapers as a quick fix to the problem. After I was out
of diapers, which occurred only by my getting too big for them, I started having
to put up with wet sheets that always smelled as dad didn't wash them often
enough. I would have rather been in diapers than to have awakened in a cold, wet
bed. But this, along with other things, was an issue I could never bring up. I
just let dad deal with it as he saw fit, which was to ignore the problem. I was
also undernourished and, in general, just not given the attention that a child
needs from his daddy.
Things then started to go downhill. Dad was out of work and hopping from
job to job with several stretches of unemployment in between. I knew that dad
had been fired when he didn't get me up in the morning to take me over to the
apartment next door where the lady who lived there watched me.
Dad always lost his job because of his alcoholism, which seemed to get
worse and worse as time went on. He was always getting fired for missing work or
for showing up for work drunk or hung over. The apartment, which was run down to
begin with, was becoming more and more of a dump. Dad never was too keen in
housekeeping, but he was neglecting things more, including me, and being sloshed
half the time exacerbated his negligence. The place was really becoming filthy.
How I longed for being back at mom's house, where I remember being warm and
living in a clean, comfortable house, plus the fact that I was cared for and
fed.
This was such an emotional burden for me. I was living in a sub-standard
and unhealthy environment. The apartment dad and I lived in was small, cramped,
and poorly lit. The paint was peeling from the cracked walls and in some places,
the walls were merely studs. The ceiling had missing tiles and it leaked in
several places. The pipes leaked in various places throughout the apartment.
Water damage was present wherever you looked. We had no air conditioning, and in
the winter the heat was barely enough to keep us from shivering. Mice and other
pests crawled about the place and it was always filthy and smelled bad.
The worst thing of all was my problem, which seemed to be getting worse. I
was becoming more than a bedwetter. Sometimes I would wet my pants in the
daytime, too, but it was still more often at night. Nothing was ever done about
this. Dad never took me to see a doctor for it, so I didn't really know for sure
why I wet my pants all the time. While it may have been a physical problem, I
know a lot of it came from my emotional problems, especially considering the
things I went through while living with dad. Whatever the cause was, I never
took medication or used alarms or any other such devices for my wetting. I just
put up with waking up in a wet bed wearing wet underpants.
I thought about wearing diapers again. In fact, I would have much rather
worn diapers. While most boys my age didn't wear diapers, I felt that it was the
only option I had. I needed them more at night than during the daytime. I
wouldn't have minded having them on at night since nobody ever saw me then
except my dad and the gals he picked up at the bar and invited over. During the
day, however, I would have been uncomfortable going around with diapers on
beneath my clothes, to say nothing of the fact that I would be wearing them to
school. It didn't matter much to me when I was four or five, but now that I had
been in school, I was well aware of the way other kids judged you for various
things, and had I worn diapers around any of them I would have been laughed at
indeed. The kids would have seen the bulge beneath my pants and would have known
that I had a diaper on. It was bad enough that they called me "poor boy".
Perhaps wearing a diaper would have been better as it would have been less
embarrassing to always be wearing one and staying dry on the outside, rather
than possibly wetting my pants in public, but I wasn't willing to subject myself
to the embarrassment of wearing a diaper, either, in spite of how much I felt I
needed them.
I was so ashamed of this problem that I could never talk to anybody about
it. Dad was very much aware of the problem, and I kept hoping that someday he
would at least get me some diapers, but whenever I wet the bed, he'd just tell
me to go wash my sheets and my clothes. I'd have to pack up my sheets and carry
them two blocks to the Laundromat, which he started having me do when I was
seven years old. I got to know some of the ladies down at the Laundromat, but I
could never tell them why I was always there washing my sheets. Still, they were
some of my best friends then.
I was never able to tell my mom how dad was treating me when I got to see
her at my grandparents'. I was too ashamed and embarrassed about everything to
mention his negligence or that I wet the bed all the time. I'm sure that mom
could tell I wasn't eating enough, and I wasn't always clean when I showed up
for Thanksgiving or Christmas, so I often times ended up taking a bath while at
my grandparent's place. Had she ever seen me wearing just my underpants she
would have known that I had wet in them many times.
Between the wetting accidents and everything else, I wanted to get out of
this place! Every weekend dad would come staggering through the door late at
night. Sometimes he'd pick up a gal from the bar and invite her in. I knew that
dad was divorced and was free to see other women, but I never understood why it
was someone different every time. As I was only seven or eight years old and
didn't quite understand what sex was, I wondered why he and his one-time
girlfriend always made so much noise in the next room. I could hear the bed
shaking and his girl moaning through the wall, keeping me awake all night.
The worst part of it was when dad became belligerent in his drunkenness. I
always got scared when he started hollering and swearing and throwing things,
even if I had done nothing wrong. Every time dad left the house I worried about
him, whether he would even make it home or if he got into a brawl at the bar. I
didn't know where he was or what he was doing. He cared more about his alcohol
than he cared about me. I wanted to catch the next bus out of town and go home
to mom. If I only knew where she lived, I would have. I was an honest kid, but I
would have stolen money from dad's wallet to buy a bus ticket, I was that
desperate. I didn't even know mom's phone number to ask where she lived, and if
I did have the number, I would have had to go to a pay phone as we had no phone
at the apartment.
Everything hit rock bottom before things got better.
Late one evening in the middle of July, dad was arrested and charged with
a DUI, again, and for the last time-- this was a felony DUI. The courts decided
that I was to be returned to the custody of my mother, especially after they
discovered how grossly negligent dad was of me. They admitted that it was a
mistake on their part to grant my dad custody of me. I was another victim of
bureaucratic incompetence.
I just couldn't stand to live another day with the man. This last drunk-
driving offense was a blessing, somewhat, as it helped me to receive my wish to
live with my mother once again.
Dad had to sell his car and all of the furniture and other possessions he
had to help pay for his legal defense. This included my bed and drawers. All I
had to take back to mom's was my suitcase of clothes, tattered and torn as they
were, and a few books, games, and other toys.
It wasn't easy for me to part with dad that morning, but in the back of my
mind, I knew this was due to happen sooner or later. It was a long, three-hour-
plus drive in the back seat of a government-owned car that was nicer than any
car I had ever been in, particularly dad's car. I was thirsty before I left, but
I knew that if I drank anything I would not make the trip without possibly
wetting my pants on the way.
I was finally home with mother at last. This was the first time I had seen
this place, except for in photographs that I saw while visiting grandma and
grandpa. I knew that mom and Jessica were no longer at the house we were living
in before and were now in an apartment. It was still small and cramped, but it
was a lot cleaner and kept up better than the rat hole I was living in before.
Mom and Jessica spent the afternoon helping to get me settled in. We spent
this time to reacquaint ourselves with one another, and to help us re-establish
ourselves as a family, at least what was left of it. That evening we had dinner
and rejoiced in reuniting again. I knew that it would take awhile to readjust to
everything, even though it was much better than before.
Before the divorce occurred, we lived in a larger home that could
accommodate us easily. Since the divorce seven years ago, mom and Jessica had to
sell the house and move into an apartment that had only one bedroom. Up until
today, a one- bedroom apartment was adequate for Jessica and mom. Jessica had
her bed set up in the front room and didn't mind sleeping there. Now that I had
also moved in, this presented some problems. Jessica was quick to point out one
of these problems. Solving the problems, however, involved some discussion.
"Where's Brian sleeping tonight?" Jessica asked mom.
"He'll have to share your bed until we can find another bed for him to
sleep in.,' replied mom.
"What? Sleep with my BROTHER?" she protested. "Are you crazy?"
"Well, there isn't much we can do until we get him his own bed."
"Yeah, and this apartment is so small, where will you put it?" Jessica
asked.
"Well, that's our other problem. We'll have to move into a larger
apartment or a house before we can fit another bed in for Brian."
"Can't he sleep on the couch?" Jessica suggested.
"You can hardly even sit on it, Jessica! It's got springs sticking up
everywhere! He can't sleep there!"
"Well, how about I sleep in your bed, mom?"
"Jessica, I'm so big that there is no room for you!" Mom was quite obese
and she slept in a single bed.
"How about the floor? Can't he sleep there?" Jessica was trying everything
to avoid having to share a bed with me. As I was afraid of wetting the bed, I
wasn't up to sharing it with her, either. I just didn't say anything about it.
"Sure, if he likes to wake up stiff!" mom said. "I don't have anything for
him to sleep on. Look, Jessica, it's not going to hurt you to share a bed with
your brother. Please try to make him feel welcome after all he went through with
his father!"
"Well, okay,' Jessica resigned, " but he'd better not keep me awake!"
Meanwhile I was in the bathroom getting myself cleaned up before going to
bed. For once I had a warm bath in a clean bathtub every night instead of just a
few times a year when I went to see my grandparents. It was such a wonderful
change for me that I took an extra long bath. A few minutes later I emerged from
the bathroom. I was wearing a white, dingy T-shirt and underpants. I was careful
to select a pair that had no revealing holes or tears in it. Finding a pair that
didn't have any evidence of wetting was harder to do, however. I then emerged
from the bathroom, feeling clean and refreshed.
"Why are you in your underwear?" mom asked me as she looked at me wearing
my dingy briefs.
"This is what I always wear to bed, mom,' I replied.
"Don't you have any pajamas?" she asked, as if she expected me to be
wearing them.
"No, I don't, mom, this is what I've always worn."
"If that's what you wear to bed, fine, but I'll be sure to get you some
new underwear!"
A few minutes later Jessica took her bath and then emerged from the
bathroom in her pink pajamas. She and I sat on the bed and watched the evening
news with mom. After the news we all retired for the evening as Jessica and I
both crawled into the same bed. It was confining and would take a few nights to
get used to.
I lay there awake thinking about dad. He was in jail now, and had nobody
to bail him out, nobody there to care about him. He had nothing to his name and
had no place to go, so it looked like prison was the only place dad could go at
this point. I worried about wetting the bed, especially with my sister sleeping
in it with me. I didn't know how to tell her I was a bedwetter, it was a rather
embarrassing issue. I just hoped I wouldn't wet the bed before I was ready to
tell her or mom.
It took awhile for me to fall asleep, but I finally drifted off. I hoped
to avoid wetting overnight, but I still had a lot of emotional issues to
overcome in this transition. Dad was on my mind the whole time as I woke up
several times thinking about him.
I still wet the bed anyway. Just as I was used to doing in my own bed, I
woke up and felt the cold wetness of my briefs against my skin. I hoped my
sister wouldn't get woke up by the puddle of urine I left on my side of the bed.
I knew that there was a big wet spot on the mattress and it was spreading to
Jessica's side of the bed.
In the middle of the night she woke up from feeling the wetness that I
created.
"Why is the bed wet?" she asked me.
"What?" I said, pretending to have been asleep.
She took a whiff of the air and smelled urine.
"Brian! Did you wet the bed?"
She turned on the lamp next to her and pulled back the covers, staring at
my briefs. The front of them was soaked.
"Ooh! You did wet the bed!"
"Yes, I'm sorry! I can't help it! Sometimes I just go in the middle of the
night! You've wet the bed too, haven't you, Jess?"
"No!" she asserted.
"No? You've never wet the bed? Ever?" I asked her with much surprise.
"No, Brian! I haven't! I don't have that problem! Why didn't you tell me
about this?!"
"I didn't know how to tell you! I was too afraid to tell you! I can't help
it!"
"Why? Couldn't you at least hold it until you get to the bathroom?"
"It's not like that, Jessica! I can't! I did it while I was asleep! It's a
problem I have!" I defended, crying.
"Let's see what you did to the bed!" she said, groaning. She got out of
bed to examine the "damage".
"I'll need to change the sheets. You go change your underwear!"
Jessica got up and walked to the closet to grab a clean set of sheets. She
spent the next few minutes pulling off the wet sheets and changing them to the
dry ones. I returned a few minutes later in a clean, dry pair of briefs. I took
a moment to cry in the bathroom where I changed before coming out and returning
to the bed.
"Did dad know you wet the bed like this?" Jessica asked me.
"Yeah, but he never did anything about it!" I replied. "I even had to go
wash my sheets myself! Dad never took me to a doctor or anything! Dad didn't
care about me, just his stupid beer and ladies from the bar!"
I started crying again. "Dad never really took care of me at all! I went
hungry half the time, he never bought me new clothes, he never said `good night'
or `I love you' or..."
Jessica then comforted me as I was sobbing too much to talk. "Oh, Brian,
it's okay. Mom will take good care of you now. Now stop crying. I probably
shouldn't have snapped at you. I'm sorry. I know it isn't your fault that you
wet the bed. I just didn't know you were a bedwetter and maybe you should have
told me first. I understand that you're probably embarrassed and ashamed to tell
anyone about it. I know I would be."
Jessica finished changing the sheets. "Okay, the bed's clean, but there's
still a wet spot on your side under the sheet. Try not to wet again, okay?"
"Okay.,' I said.
We returned to bed. We both had a hard time getting back to sleep, both
worried that it might happen again on that night or another night. I lay there
thinking about the fact that this happened right before my sister and that she
found out the hard way. Jessica probably lay there thinking about what would
happen in the upcoming nights. Certainly she couldn't face the thought of having
to sleep in the same bed as me if I was prone to such night-time accidents.
BRIAN THE BEDWETTER: PART 2
---------------------------
We sat at the table the next morning to have cereal. Mom had already left
for work. It was the summertime, so we had the house to themselves during the
day.
I was nervous to bring it up, but I figured that once I said the first few
words of what I wanted to ask, there would be no turning back. I slowly brought
the topic into focus.
"Sorry about my accident last night, Jess."
"Oh, don't worry about it!" she replied.
"What? Aren't you mad? I peed in *your* bed!"
"I was upset that it disturbed my sleep and got my bed wet, but, I know
you didn't do it on purpose."
"Gee, I thought you were gonna kick me out!"
"Well, I wanted to, but I felt that it wouldn't help matters any."
After breakfast, Jessica grabbed the old sheets that were piled on the
floor and threw them into the wash. I wondered if mom saw the sheets lying on
the floor before she left for work.
The day's morning passed into the afternoon. "Get dressed, Brian,' said
Jessica. "I'll show you around town today." As I so often did while living with
dad, I just lounged around in my underwear until about one o'clock when we were
ready to leave.
Jessica took me on a walk along the stream that ran behind the apartment
building. She showed me some of the places she liked to go in the area. This was
a real treat for me as I had lived in the middle of town and rarely got to walk
along a river or get away from the noise and pollution where I once lived. The
gentle rustling of the leaves and the placidly flowing water was a welcome
change of pace.
Farther along in the walk we went along the railroad tracks and down to
the small lake where Jessica and her friend Mindi liked to go swimming. We sat
down awhile in the shade and talked about various things, avoiding discussions
of dad and of my bedwetting problem. Shortly afterwards we returned to the
apartment to get a drink of water and left again to walk the other way which led
into town.
As we were walking towards town I felt a need to go to the bathroom. We
had just passed the grocery store and there wasn't another store or other public
place for several blocks. I tried to hold it until I came upon a place that may
have a public restroom. There were no large shrubs or trees where we were. Then
we came to an irrigation canal. Finally, a place to go! I split off from my
sister and ran underneath the bridge.
"Where are you going?" shouted Jessica.
"I'll be right back up there!" I shouted back. At long last I at least had
privacy. I pulled down the front of my shorts and peed into the canal. What a
relief! I was almost always at home or in school so I never really had to hold
my urine for very long. I was accustomed to always having a toilet or urinal
nearby. I recalled that dad always had to make two or three bathroom stops for
me whenever he drove me to my grandparents, knowing what a position it put me in
to not have immediate access to a toilet.
Jessica and I continued on until we reached downtown. We were thirsty and
we had no money, but we managed to get some free ice water from a downtown cafe
to relieve our parched throats.
I knew I was taking a chance to drink as much water as I did, but that ice
water felt so good trickling down my throat, I had to have it. It was getting
late in the afternoon so we headed back. At about the same point in our walk
back I needed to go again. The canal was a ways back but the grocery store was
just ahead. As we reached the parking lot I started walking towards the store,
swiftly.
"Where are you going?" Jessica asked me. "You don't have any money!"
"I need to use the bathroom!"
"Again? Okay...I have to go, too."
"Where's the bathroom?" I asked hastily upon entering.
"It's back that way!" Jessica pointed towards the back of the store. I ran
down the aisle ahead of my sister. She followed me to the restrooms, only that
she was walking.
Jessica began to realize that I had to use the bathroom frequently, that
my problem wasn't just limited to the bed. She drank as much as water as I did.
She was curious and wanted to know more about my apparently weak bladder. She
started asking me questions about it as they walked back.
"Do you only wet the bed, or have you wet your pants in public, too?"
"Why do you want to know?" I asked. "I don't like to talk about it."
"Well, you seem to have a problem, Brian, and something needs to be done
about it. You just seem to use the bathroom a lot, I was just wondering."
"Well yeah, I have. Once I did it walking home from school. I was with my
friend Derek and he thought it was funny. That was just before school got out
this year. I almost hit him because he was laughing.
"Then there was a day dad was home,' I continued, "but he was passed out
on the couch from drinking too much and he had the door locked. I came home from
Derek's and I couldn't get inside. Dad wouldn't wake up and let me in so I wet
my pants while standing in the hallway."
"What did dad do?"
"Nothing! He just said `go change your pants!' every time I wet them! Like
I said, he never cared." I felt like crying again.
"Maybe you should tell mom about your wetting problem."
"I'm afraid to tell her! I'm ashamed that I've told you!"
"Look, Brian, you have to trust me because I understand, and mom will
understand. You want to be wetting the bed like that all the time?"
"Well, no, I don't. But what can I do about it, Jessica?"
"You'll probably need to wear diapers,' Jessica said.
As much as I wanted to wear them, I wasn't so sure that I was actually
ready to start wearing them again. I was nine years old now-- and nine-year-olds
don't wear diapers. Maybe a few late-training four- or five-year-olds, but not
nine!
"Wear a diaper?" I asked her. "You don't mean, like, what a baby wears?"
"Of course, Brian! They'd just be bigger so they'd fit you!"
"Yes, I know, but, I'm nine years old!"
"So? Lots of nine-year-olds wear diapers,' she tried to assure me.
"Yeah? Who?"
"I know a girl at school whose brother has had to wear them all his life!
He's twelve years old now!"
"Really,' I said. "Do you think mom would make we wear diapers?"
"I don't know what she'll do, but I think you'd better tell her about your
problem so that she can at least do *something* about it!"
"I don't know if I can tell her,' I said again.
"If you keep wetting the bed, I'll end up telling her!"
"No! No! No, Jessica, let me tell mom instead of you!"
"Okay, but if you wet again before you tell her, I'll have to say
something about it, okay?"
"Okay."
It was six in the evening, mom was home preparing dinner for us. Given the
budget mom lived under, dinner was usually along the lines of macaroni and
cheese, ramen noodles, or soup and sandwiches. We never ate extravagantly, but
it was satisfying, nonetheless. Just having a meal every night was a nice
change.
By nine o'clock I was already in my underwear, this time wearing some
gleaming white underpants and a T-shirt. Mom did some shopping for me today and
promised some new clothes later on when the back-to-school sales hit. It felt
good just to have new underwear for once.
Jessica usually didn't change into her pajamas until just before going to
bed. It was almost eleven when we got back into bed. I had felt better to know
that I could trust Jessica in this bedwetting matter. She didn't laugh about it
or make jokes. In fact, she wanted to help. Of course it was to her benefit as
we both had to share the same bed. As a precaution, she grabbed a garbage bag
and spread it out flat underneath the sheet on my side of the bed to protect the
mattress itself. I made sure not to drink extra fluids before bed. I also kept a
couple changes of underwear near my side of the bed so that in case I did wet I
could just grab another pair.
We were both prepared this time in case I wet again tonight. Even though I
refrained from drinking anything close to bedtime, I still ended up wetting the
bed. I was still thinking a lot about dad and what I went through while living
with him when I went off to sleep. I knew that my thoughts triggered the
emotions that caused me to wet.
In the middle of the night I found myself again in a puddle of wetness. I
didn't wet as much as I did the night before. In fact, it didn't even wake
Jessica. I still got up and changed my underwear right next to the bed in the
dark.
By the time I got back to bed, Jessica had woke up.
"You wet again, didn't you?"
"Yes, I did."
"I guess I'll have to tell mom, then!"
"No, I'm not ready for her to find out!"
"Then when WILL you be ready?! I'm ready to tell her!"
"I just don't know what to tell her!"
"Just tell her the facts, that you have a problem with wetting the bed!"
"But, what will mom think of me? What will she say? Dad never cared about
the problem!"
"I think that's part of your problem, Brian, you keep thinking how dad
handled the problem. Mom isn't going to do that. She'll make sure something is
done about it."
"She'll probably make me wear diapers."
"If she does, it's better than wetting the bed."
"But, diapers are..."
"Brian! Please! I want to help, but just talking about it will not solve
the problem! Lots of kids have the same problem as you do and there are ways it
can be treated! The diapers may only be temporary! Now go to sleep!"
"Are you going to tell mom?" I asked her before she turned off the light.
"Let's put it this way, Brian. The next time you wet, I *will* tell her! I
won't put up with this if you share my bed!"
It was so hard to sleep that night. All I did was lie there wide awake and
think about how I would approach mom on the issue. I knew that I would wet again
soon, so either way, mom was to find out, whether from me or Jessica. I don't
think I slept at all that night as I observed the light of dawn becoming
brighter until the sun was completely up.
Jessica got out of bed at about 9:00 while I lay in there feeling tired
from a lack of sleep. It was 10:00 when Jessica walked over to the bed and
nudged me.
"Are you getting out of bed today?" she asked.
"I dunno. I'm feeling tired. I didn't sleep at all."
"Well, you can't just lie there all day! C'mon! I'll make some breakfast."
"What? You can cook?" I asked her naively.
"Of course, Brian! I make eggs for mom all the time! You like eggs?"
"Yeah. How about bacon?"
"We've got it. Come on! Get up!"
The thought of having a hearty, wholesome breakfast got me going. Living
with dad, I had to settle for cereal and oatmeal, when we had any, that is.
Jessica put together a really good breakfast. Se made eggs, bacon, toast, and
orange juice. We sat there eating breakfast, when, of course, the topic of my
wetting came up.
"So, you're going to tell mom today, right?"
"Well, if she's in a good mood."
"Remember, you tell her, or I do."
A couple hours later Jessica said she was leaving to go see her friend
Mindi. I was still lounging around in my underwear when Jessica advised for me
to get dressed since she and Mindi would probably be back right away. I grabbed
my shorts and slipped them on.
While Jessica was gone, I looked around the apartment to see what all
there was in the place. I knew that I was being a snoop, but there was so much
more in mom's apartment than there was in dad's, unless you count the rodents
and the cockroaches. I came across some photo albums and sat down to look
through them. As I looked at some of them, showing dad, mom, myself and Jessica
standing together as a loving family, it brought me to tears as I thought back
to happier days when we were together. Many of the pictures were from the times
we met at grandma's and grandpa's house. Some of them were of Mom and Jessica.
Having lived with dad for seven years, there weren't very many pictures of me as
I grew up. I decided that perhaps I shouldn't have looked at the pictures as it
saddened me to be reminded of happier times in the past, or perhaps how happier
I would have been if mom had been awarded custody of me.
At the same time, I looked forward to being a part of these photo albums
later on. I had mixed emotions running through my mind. In spite of the way I
was saddened by knowing that I could not change the past, it was assuring to
know from here on out that things would get better.
About a half hour later, Jessica came through the door with her friend
Mindi. The two girls invited me to play catch with them out back. We also had
some lunch together, made from last night's leftovers. Rarely did food ever go
to waste in mom's household.
That evening, after mom came home from work, she fixed us dinner. As we
sat there at the table, Lisa looked over at me and silently said "tell mom". I
hesitated as I just was not ready to bring it up. I started when I said "umm,
mom?"
"Yes, honey, what?"
"Umm. I...never mind."
I looked over at Jessica, rolling her eyes. She gestured that she would
tell mom if I didn't. Again, I said "mom?". This time I covered it up by asking
her a completely different question. I think mom knew that I was really trying
to tell her something that I was embarrassed about, but I still wasn't ready to
tell her.
Finally, Jessica spoke up.
"Mom, there's something I need to tell you,' she said.
"What is it, Jessica?" mom replied.
"Brian has been wetting the bed!"
"What? Brian?"
I started crying.
"I can't help it, mom! There's nothing I can do!"
"Oh, Brian, please, don't cry!" mom said as she came over to e and hugged
me.
As I regained my composure, I said, "dad didn't do anything about it
either!"
"I wish you could have told me sooner, honey, I know it's something you
probably didn't want to tell me. I wish I could have taken you home with me
because I knew something was wrong. I'm so sorry that dad treated you the way he
did. I know it probably wasn't easy for you to tell me, but if I ever knew that
dad was treating you that way, I would have taken you home with me! Why, when I
looked at your gaunt body and your dirty face did I not know of the misery your
dad gave you? Please, Brian, I pray to God every day about you...and Jessica,
too. I pray that He will not cast his judgment on me for not seeing the errors
of your dad's ways. You're with mom now, and mom's going to make sure that
everything is okay."
Mom put her arms around me and hugged me, healing the pains that
resurfaced as I thought about dad. It was very reassuring to know that mom would
take better care of me. Still, this left one question:
"So, what are you going to do about my...you know...my problem?"
"Brian, this may not sound like what you want, but you'll probably need to
wear diapers to bed."
I sat there and hesitated, thinking about the prospect of wearing diapers
again.
"Do you think I need them?" I asked mom.
"Yes, Brian, I'm afraid you do. I know it may sound embarrassing, but it's
not like anyone else has to know about it. Every day you probably see other
kids, and some of them are bedwetters, but you wouldn't know it just by looking
at them."
"Well, okay, but, it doesn't cure my problem. I'll still be wetting the
bed, with or without diapers on."
"For now, yes. Maybe we can get a doctor to treat you someday. You'll just
have to accept wearing diapers for now."
"When will you get me some?" I asked.
"I'll bring some home tomorrow after work,' mom said.
"Will I be okay tonight?" I asked mom.
"Yes, if you don't drink anything too close to bedtime. Just be sure that
you've gone to the bathroom before you go to bed."
I was now a little more comfortable with the thought of wearing diapers
again. In fact, mom was so caring and so nurturing in the way she approached the
topic that there was really no reason for me to dread wearing them. Mom assured
me that I would only need to wear them at night. She even got out one of her
parenting magazines and went over an article that discussed the topic of
bedwetting. It gave statistics including that about 15% of children wet the bed
past the age of three. Granted, I was in the minority, but at least there were
others besides me. It also mentioned that many more boys than girls wet their
beds, which, at least by a breakdown by gender, I was in the majority as 4 out
of 5 cases affect boys according to the article. However, it did also mention
that bedwetting runs in families with a 75% likelihood cited there, though
Jessica didn't appear to have this problem. Lastly, it stated that it usually
stops by puberty, so I still had a few years of this ahead of me.
The article further explained that bedwetting has a variety of causes, one
of them being emotional difficulties, which I very much knew to be true,
including stress brought on by moving or by loss of a family member.
It was nice to go to bed that night knowing more about my condition. I
didn't feel so singled out now, though it was still nothing to be proud of to be
a bedwetter. I didn't have any friends as I had just moved here. I just hoped
that if I met somebody at school and became friends he wouldn't have to know
that I'm a bedwetter.
BRIAN THE BEDWETTER: PART 3
---------------------------
I had a hard time getting to sleep again. There was a story on the news
about a man who was arrested for child abuse and neglect. I had to consider
myself lucky as I was only neglected and not really abused. Still, it hit very
close to home.
That news story kept running over and over through my mind. I kept
thinking of dad and what I went through while living with him. I knew that the
likelihood of having a wetting accident was greater tonight. I was afraid to
fall asleep, but eventually I managed to shut the thoughts out of my conscious
mind and went to sleep.
What remained in my subconscious, however, was still quite vivid. It was
about 2:30 A.M. when I woke up and discovered a large wet spot on my side of the
bed. "Oh, no!" I thought as I started crying again. I knew that Jessica would be
awakened by it. I slowly got out of bed to change into some dry underpants. The
only problem I had was that I couldn't go back to bed since my side was too wet
to sleep on unless Jessica woke up to change the sheets again. I was too
embarrassed and I didn't want to wake her to tell her, but the puddle spread to
her side and it woke her up anyway.
Jessica turned the light on and pulled the wet sheets off of the bed. She
went back to the closet and pulled out a clean set, the sheets that she washed
from yesterday. I stood there waiting for Jessica to get the sheets. After she
got done putting them on I got back into bed.
"It'll sure be nice when mom gets you your diapers tomorrow,' Jessica said
as she climbed back into the bed, now dry again.
I had to agree with her. At least if I were wearing them I wouldn't be
wetting her bed all the time, anymore, though I'd still have to get up and
change, depending on how much I wet.
The next day started much like the other days. There was a pile of sheets
on the floor that needed to be washed. I lay there in bed thinking about the
previous night. Eventually I got up and joined Jessica at the table for
breakfast.
"Will I always wet the bed?" I asked Jessica.
"I don't know, Brian. Maybe you'll get over it, maybe you won't! Nobody is
perfect. We all have our own little handicaps. My teeth are crooked, and I
should have been wearing braces! How do you think I feel? Why do you think I
never smile with my mouth open? Look in mom's photo albums and you'll see that
my mouth is never open."
"I already looked at them,' I said. "It made me sad to think I missed
growing up here and that I had to live with dad."
"That's all behind you now, Brian. Mom will take *much* better care of you
than dad,' she assured me.
"I know she will,' I said, holding back tears, "but I don't think I'll
ever get over wetting all the time,' I said, feeling hopeless.
"And I'll probably have crooked teeth for the rest of my life. Welcome to
the imperfection club, Brian,' she said.
"I'd rather have crooked teeth than wet the bed,' I remarked.
"At least nobody else has to know about your problem, and you wouldn't be
wearing diapers all day, every day. I would have to wear braces non-stop."
I had to agree that each of our problems were unique and that in some
ways, one was worse than the other. I still felt that one's inability to contain
his urine overnight was more embarrassing than just having crooked teeth, and
diapers were much more conspicuous than braces.
The afternoon passed with little activity. I watched some TV and ate lunch
to pass most of the day. All day I kept thinking about mom coming home and
bringing diapers with her. I had no idea just exactly what I would be wearing or
what it would be like to wear them. Would they be disposable diapers? Would they
be like training pants or underwear with extra padding provided for absorbency?
Would they be the kind of diapers that were pinned on and worn with plastic
pants?
Would I be responsible for changing them, or would I be just like a baby
again and have mom change me? How long before bedtime would I have to put one on
and when would I get changed in the mornings?
Mom was home later than usual because of the extra stop she had to make on
the way home involving getting me my diapers. Jessica and I helped mom bring in
the sacks of groceries that she picked up. I was looking to see if any of the
bags were from wherever she got my diapers, but I didn't see them, so mom must
have taken them in first. I wanted to see what they looked like, but I was sure
to find out by later this evening.
Before dinner was started, mom presented me with the diapers. She pulled
one out and unfolded it. She handed it to me so that I could anticipate what
they would look like on me on what they would feel like. They were just basic
white diapers that were pinned at the sides, much like what a baby would wear.
The material was a soft, warm, thick and fluffy set of cotton layers. They felt
good to the touch, which only made them more desirable to wear even in spite of
the shameful reason I had for wearing them.
Next mom handed me the other thing I would be wearing with the diapers,
the plastic pants! As I unfolded them I was surprised to see how big they were!
Both sides, the front and the back had a very high rise on them. The crotch was
wide, too! I couldn't help but to think what these would look like on me! They
were much larger than my underpants, which they resembled somewhat, only much
bigger.
They were made of a thick, translucent plastic material that also felt
good to the touch. The crinkled as I examined the other attributes of the
garment. They had tight-looking elastic legbands and the wide waistband looked
like it promised to be a snug-fit.
I hoped that I would never have to wear these in public as their size
would have made them impossible to conceal. I asked mom why they were so big.
"By the time I get your diapers on you'll see why they need to be so big,'
mom told me. "Go ahead and leave them on the bed until I change you into them
later. I'm going to get dinner started."
Now I knew that I wouldn't be responsible for changing my own diapers. I
couldn't decide whether this was a good thing or not. I wanted to at least be
able to put them on and take them off in the morning since I was otherwise able
to dress myself. I was nine years old and perfectly capable of handling such
matters and didn't think that it was necessary to have someone else change my
diapers like I was just a baby.
On the other hand, there was something appealing about having someone else
take care of me. Maybe it was the thought of getting love, care, and attention,
all of which dad was woefully lacking in giving me. Maybe I wanted to be a baby
again and get now what I had been missing from dad all these years.
We had our dinner and then some dessert, which was a nice treat since ice
cream and other sweet stuff was a rare sight while living with dad. As the
evening passed on Jessica and I each took our baths before getting ready for
bed. As I sat in the tub, I kept thinking about how I was going to be wearing
diapers in just a few minutes. I got out and dried myself off, looking at my
pile of clothes on the floor. I slipped on my underpants, knowing they'd have to
be taken off again for the diapers that I'd be wearing in their place. Next I
put on my shirt and tossed my pants into the clothes hamper in the bathroom.
As I emerged from the bathroom I sat down on the bed with Jessica and
watched a sitcom with her and mom. After the show was over, mom got up and told
me to get my underwear off and lie down on the bed while she grabbed some of the
diapers and other items that were to be used.
"Can you have Jessica go into the kitchen while you do this?" I asked mom.
"I'm afraid she'll need to stay here,' my mom told me.
"What?" I said in shock. "Why? I don't want to let her see me with nothing
on!" I said.
"I know, Brian, I know how personal this is, but Jessica needs to see how
I do this because she'll have to change you in the mornings when I'm gone to
work."
I hesitated for a moment before I got up to pull my underpants down. I was
standing there naked from the waist down before I got back up on the bed. I felt
so vulnerable and exposed with nothing on me. I couldn't wait until mom at least
had something on me.
Before she put any diapers on me mom wiped my genital area and my bum
clean and then applied powder. The sweet aroma filled the air as I felt the
powder being applied. Already I was drawn into a state of regression as I
thought of being just a baby again and mommy was taking good care of her little
boy.
Next came the diapers. Mom put three of them together and stuffed them
underneath me. I asked her why she was using three of them on me at a time.
"I just want to make sure you won't have any problems overnight,' mom
said. "From what Jessica told me you're a real heavy wetter, too."
Mom then pulled the front of the diapers over me, covering my pelvic area
and my entire stomach. Underneath me I could feel that the diapers were covering
me well above the top of my butt. All around me I could feel the thick layers
wrapping me tightly and securely. There was even more material bunched up in
between my leg, ensuring lots of absorbency. Mom then double-pinned each side
and pulled the diapers up to ensure that they were in their place and ready to
do their job. I looked down at the front of me and saw the diapers bulging
outward in their thickness.
Mom was done with me now as she had me get up to pull my plastic pants on.
Again I looked at how big they were, seeing now what mom meant by how I would
need them to be this big after my diapers were on. I held the plastic pants in
front of me and bent over to put them on, much like I did underwear. I ran my
right foot through one of the leg openings and felt the leg bands trying to grab
my foot as I slipped it through. I did the same on the other side. With the
plastic pants at my ankles I proceeded to pull them up until they were pulled
taught against my diapers. The waistband went up past the top of the diapers and
snapped into place, tightly and securely sealing in my diapers. My shirt had
become tucked inside of my diapers, so they were exposed in their entirety.
I looked over at Jessica, who I thought would be laughing at me by now. I
knew I had to have looked ridiculous wearing such thick and bulky diapers! They
came up so high on me as I could feel the waistband rubbing on my arms just
above my elbows. As I sat down I felt the thick padding press up against my
rear. The thick layers in the crotch forced me to sit open-legged, which exposed
the bulk of the diapers and the width of the crotch of the plastic pants. I
looked down again and noted how much material there was on the front of me. I
hadn't yet seen what the back looked like, but I knew there was a lot of padding
on my behind from the feel of it.
Jessica was also drawn to the visual attributes of my diapers, but she was
respectful not to laugh. She had this look on her face that was saying "I'm sure
glad I don't have to wear those!" or at least this was how I interpreted the
look. She was very respectful and considerate of how I must have felt having to
wear such diapers. They were so much more than what I expected. I figured they'd
be nothing more than wearing underwear that was just a little thicker. I was
just glad nobody else saw me wearing them.
I walked around the room to get used to them. I couldn't put my legs
together, which made it hard to walk without keeping my legs spread out a bit. I
felt the thick materials rubbing against me as I moved, fully aware of their
ubiquitous presence on me with each step I took. The plastic pants crinkled as I
walked, another reminder of what I had to wear each and every night until I
stopped wetting the bed. If anything, these diapers would be more conducive to
bedwetting as they would not provide any incentive to try to develop any sort of
control.
I just had to know what my rear end looked like as this was the view
Jessica and my mom would often get of me, so I just wanted to know how I
presented myself to them from behind. I tried to look behind me, but all I could
see was the thick diapers wrapping around my side. As mom's room had a closet
with mirrored doors, I went in there and took a look.
I was amazed at how it looked so much like a baby's diaper! Even in
proportional measures, it was a lot bigger and thicker than anything I had seen
in a baby! I stood there and observed how at the top of my long, slender legs
was this huge, massive diaper on my butt!
I turned around and took another look at my front, noting how high up the
plastic pants went over my stomach. I sat at the foot of mom's bed and spread my
legs apart to see what the bulging crotch looked like.
I stopped for a moment and thought about why I was spending so much time
looking at myself in my diapers from various angles. I had trouble understanding
why, but I liked the way I looked wearing diapers again. I felt that I was
perhaps getting another chance to live my childhood over, this time under mom's
care in the comfort of her warm, clean home instead of the wretched filth of
dad's apartment along with his inexcusable and unforgivable negligence. I knew
that this self-examination of my appearance in diapers was helping me to accept
the fact that I had to wear them.
I took one more look at myself in the mirror and then glanced over to the
other side of the closet, where one of the doors was open. I looked up on the
top shelf, where I could barely see a white-colored object of some sort. The
light that shined into the closet was just enough that I could sense that there
was something on that shelf contrasting against the stacks of books, clothes,
and whatnot. It looked so familiar to me. I had to get a closer look.
I stood up on the foot of the bed and leaned on the wall to the side of
the closet. As I looked in, I saw what I had thought I was looking at. It was
Whitey the Bear! My long lost friend!
My eyes lit up and my spirits lifted! I was so happy to have found him!
All these years I had grown up without him! Where was he when I needed him to
comfort me? I wish that he could have been there for me to provide me with
comfort and solace in the midst of the horrid environment that dad provided for
me! I needed him there to be an oasis of comfort and assurance, but all this
time he sat forlornly in the closet, as if he knew I would someday return!
I reached up, supporting myself against the wall with my left hand and
grabbed him by the foot, which was the only part that was showing, the part that
triggered my memory and allowed me to identify him.
He was just as I remembered him! He was a little dingy, but otherwise
preserved! I held him, much like I would have held a kitten! "Oh, Whitey!" I
cried. "I'm so glad you're still around!"
I sat down on the bed and had an imaginary conversation with Whitey.
"I missed you Whitey!" I said, hugging him.
"I missed you, too, Brian!" Whitey said. "You're the same little boy that
you were when you left! You're still in diapers, I see."
"Yeah, I have to wear them for wetting the bed. I just started wearing
them again tonight."
"That's okay, Brian. As long as you're in diapers I'll know that you're
the same little boy that I remembered all those years ago!"
"I wish you could have been there to comfort me when I needed you!" I
said to him, holding him tightly against my chest.
"Where were you all these years, Brian?" Whitey asked me.
"I was with my dad, and he didn't take very good care of me! Maybe it's
best that you didn't see all the horrible things that went on! You would have
hated it!"
"I wish I could have been there for you, Brian! That's what we teddy bears
are for! No matter how bad things may seem, our job is to make people feel
better! I'm glad that you found me and got me out of that dark closet, where I
sat in loneliness for so long! I know you're nine years old now, Brian, but to
me, you're still two, just as you were the day you left."
"I'm so sorry you didn't get to come along!" I apologized to Whitey,
crying tears into his soft head.
"I'm just glad that you came back, Brian. Somehow I knew you would.
Promise me you'll never leave me behind again?"
"I'll never abandon you again, Whitey!"
I felt like I was in a Calvin and Hobbes comic strip, where Whitey only
came to life when nobody else was around. Jessica came into the room and saw
that I had re-discovered my childhood friend.
"You found your teddy bear, I see,' she said. Whitey suddenly returned to
his inanimate state, just as Hobbes does in the comic strip.
"I found Whitey!" I exclaimed. "He missed me! And I missed him!"
"Mom was wondering what you were doing in here,' Jessica said.
"I just wanted to see what these looked like on me,' I said, "then I
looked up in the closet and saw Whitey's foot sticking out, so I pulled him out
of that dark closet! He's happy now!"
"You look happy, too, Brian,' Jessica said.
"I am, Jess, I am."
"We're going to be going to bed soon,' Jessica said as she left the room.
"Okay, I'll be right out."
I sat on the bed for a few minutes more and held Whitey in front of me.
His friendly eyes focusing on me and his constant smile were so soothing and
mollifying! I carried him out with me to the living room. I held him in front of
mom and showed him to her.
"I found Whitey!" I said with tears of happiness.
"Oh, good! I meant to get him out for you, Brian! I knew you'd want him!
He'll help you sleep better, and I'm pretty sure those diapers will help you
both you and Jessica sleep, too!"
After the news and Jay Leno's monologue were over with, mom turned off the
TV and went to bed, telling us to do the same. I crawled into bed, feeling my
thick, heavy diapers all around me, knowing that they would keep me securely
protected. Whitey also assured me of keeping the Boogey Man at bay, as he told
me in his imaginary voice. I kissed him goodnight just as Jessica crawled into
the bed and turned the lights out.
That night I slept more comfortably than I ever had in years. There was no
more fear of waking up in a wet bed as my diapers assured me that all was well,
as did Whitey. Both my diapers and my teddy bear brought me feelings of
security, which was making me more fond of each. Jessica would not be disturbed,
which must have put her mind at ease as well. For once we both had a good
night's sleep.
BRIAN THE BEDWETTER: PART 4
---------------------------
The next morning I woke up and felt the familiar wetness around me, but
this time, it was all securely contained in the diapers that I was wearing. The
diapers were soaked, but underneath me, the mattress and the sheets remained
dry. Most importantly, both to my sister and I, Jessica was able to sleep though
the night undisturbed.
I slept later than I normally did. Perhaps it was because the diapers made
me feel so secure that I had fallen into deeper stages of sleep than normal. By
the time I woke up I saw that Jessica had gotten up. She was sitting on the
floor watching TV.
"Oh, good morning, sleepy-head!" she said as I sat up. "How did you
sleep?"
"I slept like a baby,' I replied, not realizing the double entendre of the
cliche that I used.
"Did the diapers work?" she asked.
"They must have because you didn't get woke up,' I answered.
"So you wet in them?"
"I did,' I said, feeling embarrassed. "At least your bed isn't wet."
"When do want to be changed?" she asked me.
"Uh, I think I can do it,' I said.
"No, Brian, you need to let me change you,' Jessica responded firmly.
"But I can do it myself,' I insisted. "I know how to pull these plastic
pants off. I know how to undo these pins."
"I'm sure you do, but it's better to let someone else do it. I need to
clean you up, too, and I know you wouldn't be able to do that by yourself very
well."
I just sat there, knowing that once she started changing me that it
wouldn't seem so bad. After it was over and done with. It was just the thought
of having her see me with nothing on and fully exposed.
"Mindi's going to come over,' Jessica said, "and if you don't let me
change you, she'll come over and see you in those diapers, and I know you don't
want anyone to see you wearing them."
I still sat there, almost wanting to let Jessica's friend see me in
diapers before I would allow Jessica to change me.
"You'll just have to sit there in wet diapers until you let me change
you."
I decided that I had no choice but to get up on the bed and let Jessica do
her duty. Rather tan push the issue any farther, I just lay down with my plastic
pants still on, even though mom allowed me to put them on myself. Jessica laid a
towel down on the end of the bed and instructed me to lie on it. As I stared up
at the ceiling I felt her fingers running over my stomach, beneath the waistband
of my plastic pants. I felt her fingers slide back to my rear as she pulled them
off. The sensation of her fingers running along my waist felt ticklish. Maybe
I'd let mom put my plastic pants on instead since it produced such an
unforgettably wonderful sensation.
As the plastic pants were pulled away from the diapers I could smell my
urine's odor being released from the confinement of the plastic pants. Jessica
continued to pull them off first, feeling the waistband run against my thighs as
it went down past my knees and over my ankles, and finally off of me as they
brushed against my feet.
I then spread my legs open as Jessica reached over to my left side and
unfastened the pins. I felt the tension on the tight diapers ease on my left. As
she removed the pins from the right I felt the diapers loosen up even more. She
then pulled the wet layers away from me. The wetness on my skin felt so cold
with intermittent blasts of air coming from a nearby oscillating fan.
Next she wiped my skin dry and then tossed me a pair of my regular
underpants and told me to get dressed. She carried the wet diapers to the wash
while I lay there for a moment. I then got up and just slipped on my underpants
and stopped at that before walking to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Jessica
was already in there washing her hands.
"Just gonna lounge around in your undies today?" she said, noting that I
didn't bother to finish dressing just yet.
"I'll get my shorts on in a little bit,' I said.
"Remember that Mindi will be here,' Jessica reminded me.
"Yeah, I know, I'll get dressed here in a little bit."
As I stood there and brushed my teeth, I felt so different not to be
wearing a diaper. I felt vulnerable again. All I had on was a pair of briefs,
and I knew that if I were wearing them in bed the potential for trouble would
have been great. But now I wasn't in bed, so why should have it mattered how
vulnerable I felt? I was awake and walking around and near a toilet in case I
needed to go to the bathroom.
Still, the diapers were so soft, warm, and fluffy, so comfortable and
reassuring, so secure-feeling. I also liked the way I looked when I wore them,
seeing those thick layers bulging out all around me and providing extra padding
where I needed it. I thought about it and wished that I could have had Jessica
put another diaper on me instead of handing me my underpants. The sensations I
felt while she took my diapers off would certainly feel just as good as if she
were putting them on, if not better.
Shortly after I got dressed-- which was simply slipping on a pair of
shorts-- Mindi stopped by. I looked around and made sure that there was no
evidence of my bedwetting just lying around. All of my diapers were tucked away
in what had become my drawer (which I had to share with Jessica). I saw a bottle
of powder and some lotion sitting on my side of the bed and the towel I was
lying on earlier was still lying out. The most obvious thing would have been the
diapers themselves, and fortunately there was none to be seen.
The only thing Mindi seemed to take any notice of was my teddy bear,
Whitey.
"Oh, what a cute bear!" she said as she walked over to my side of the bed
and picked him up, that is, "him" to me, "it" to her.
"His name is Whitey,' I said. "He's my bear."
"Oh, he is? He's really soft and warm,' she said as she held him.
"He is,' I said. I wanted to say "so are my diapers,' but I wasn't ready
to blurt that out. As she gently set him back down on the bed she looked at the
stand on my side of the bed and saw the bottle of baby powder. There were a few
sprinkles of powder spilled around it, which indicated that it had been used
quite recently. Of course baby powder did have other uses. Maybe I was just
overreacting and making keener observances than Mindi was.
Mindi stayed for another few hours and came along with Jessica and I as we
took another walk. It was a nice day, and around here, it was a good way to pass
time. The apartment, which was a mansion compared to dad's old place, still
became stuffy in the heat of the summer afternoons and getting out for some air
always felt good.
Later that evening mom came home from work. It was the same as any night.
Mom fixed dinner and then sat down in front of the TV and we did the same. It
was about 8:00 when mom told me that it was time to get my diapers on. I thought
that it was a little early to get ready for bed.
"You mean now, mom?" I asked.
"I don't see why not, it's not like you're going anywhere tonight."
Mom did have a valid point. It just seemed funny that it was only 8:00 in
the evening and there was still plenty of daylight. I looked out the screen door
and saw kids my age and younger playing in the yard outside. I heard them
hollering and screaming and having a good time. They'd probably stay out there
until it got dark or their mothers called them in. Meanwhile, I was stuck inside
as I was about to be diapered for going to bed, which wasn't for at least
another two hours.
Mom told me to get on the bed and then told me that I ought to know what
to do. I pulled my shorts off and then started to pull my underpants down when I
realized that I felt a bowel movement getting ready to make its way out of me. I
stopped, thinking that after I had the diaper on I would probably have to poop
into it later. This would be really messy and stinky, and it would also make it
harder to sleep in unless I asked Jessica to change me in the middle of the
night. I didn't think she would like having to change a poopy, in the middle of
the night. I think she would have rather changed wet sheets instead of a poop-
filled diaper. Concerned about this, I mentioned it to mom.
"Uh, mom?" I started.
"Yes, Brian, what?"
"I...I need to use the bathroom first."
"Well, you'd better go now because once those diapers are on, they're on
until morning!"
"I need to...uh, you know...not pee, but..."
I was so embarrassed about bowel movements. I hated having them,
especially in public and even more especially at school. I went in there once
and everybody made fun of me for stinking up the bathroom, plus the fact that I
later discovered that the toilet didn't flush after I had used it, which gave
the kids something else to laugh at me about. This one incident stuck with me
and I've carried it with me ever since.
Mom said it for me.
"You need to go poop? Is that what you're telling me?"
"Uh, huh,' I said quietly.
"You'd better do it every night before I put the diapers on,' mom said, as
if somehow I could plan on having a bowel movement at 8:00, right on schedule.
What she really meant was just to make sure I had gone before the diapers were
put on me.
I ran into the bathroom and took care of Number Two, as it was so often
euphemized by kids I knew from as early as kindergarten. I sat there for awhile
to make sure it was all out. It took a little while before I felt that I was
empty back there and that it was okay for mom to put the diapers on me. I wasn't
sure if wiping was even necessary since I was about to be put in diapers anyway,
so I skipped the toilet paper routine.
I came out of the bathroom, which now smelled and made me feel embarrassed
as Jessica had gone in there right behind me. I saw that mom had already laid
the diapers out on top of the same towel that had been on the bed all day long.
Mom was on the phone, holding several pins and the bottle of powder in her
hands. I couldn't tell who she was talking to, but it didn't sound like she was
talking to my grandparents. I definitely knew that she wasn't talking to dad.
The last thing mom said was "I'll see you at 7:30 this Friday...bye!" There was
something odd in the friendly and flirtatious way mom was talking to whoever it
was.
Mom got off the phone and walked over to me, where I was sitting and
waiting for those diapers, spread out on the bed, to be tightly fastened around
me and covered by the heavy plastic pants. She had me sit on the center of the
diapers. I felt the layers push up into my crotch as I placed my bum on them.
Next I lay down flat as I felt mom bring up each side of the diapers and pin
them into place. She ran her hand along the top of the diapers, ensuring their
snugness, feeling her fingers brush over my stomach.
At this point she was done and I was on my own. I wanted mom to continue
with putting my plastic pants on for me, but she had already walked off as she
handed the plastic pants to me. I stayed on the bed lying down, hoping that I
could simulate the sensation that I felt when Jessica pulled my plastic pants
off this morning.
I sat up and extended my legs out, trying to put them as closely together
as I could, which was difficult with such a thick layering of diapers. I held
the plastic pants in front of me, again staring at them intently as I marveled
at their size and how wide the crotch was on them. Next I slipped them over my
feet and concentrated on watching them make their way up my body to their
destination, right over the diapers. I also concentrated on what I felt as the
waistband went over my feet with the legbands following.
I tried to imagine that someone else was putting these plastic pants on,
and it was a good, satisfying vicarious feeling. I continue to pull the plastic
pants up, feeling the waistband slide up over my knees and then up my thighs as
the crotch was just now approaching the knees. As the waistband met with the
diapers, I felt the thick, soft layers of the diapers brushing against the backs
of my thumbs as I used them to grip the top of the plastic pants. I rolled
myself back and spread my knees apart widely as I raised my butt up so that I
could pull the plastic pants up in the rear. I gave the waistband a couple final
firm upward tugs all around my body and looked down at my frontal area, which
was bulging out with the diapers underneath the plastic pants pulled up so high
and so tightly against the diapers. The diapers were so thick that the plastic
pants, as large as they looked when they were off, had very little extra room
inside for anything thicker.
It felt so good to pull those plastic pants up that I was tempted to do
it again. I wanted to pull them down slowly, as if Jessica were taking them off
of me in the morning. I would then ask her to put them back on me in the same
fashion that I put them on myself just a few minutes ago. It was a silly thought
to me and I didn't understand why it was such a wonderful sensation, but...it
was! And why?
I wasn't ready to go to bed as it wasn't even 8:30, and the kids were
still playing outside. I knew that I would have to just sit around in my diapers
for about two hours before even going to bed when I didn't need to wear them at
any time before actually getting under the covers.
I had two conflicting feelings running though my mind at the same time.
One was that I was sitting inside this apartment all diapered up so early in the
evening when I could have been outside playing. On the other hand, I was
becoming quite fond of wearing diapers and it felt so good to sit there wearing
them. Every time I shifted my body, the thick layers would bunch up against me
and remind me of their presence. The plastic pants crinkled with even the
slightest move.
I wasn't sure if they were supposed to feel so good and if I was supposed
to like how they looked. I even liked the way they sounded! I couldn't imagine
liking them by taste, but the smells of the powder and the lotion appealed to
me, too! I became aware of how four of my five senses were stimulated by wearing
diapers, though the sight and the feel were the most significant, and the sight
was the one thing that others also perceived.
I wanted to get up and take another look at myself in the mirror in mom's
room. I knew that the way I pulled the plastic pants on would have made them
stand out even more prominently. I wasn't too interested in the program that was
on TV, so I kept staring down at my crotch, looking at the way the creases ran
more or less parallel to each other and all found their way from the front of
the diapers down into the crotch. These creases accented the look of bulging
diapers underneath.
I looked over at Jessica, who was sitting next to me. She saw that I kept
looking down at my crotch every so often, sitting with my legs wide open to get
a better look. After I realized what I was doing and that Jessica also observed
it, I closed my legs and looked back up at the TV. At about 9:30 she got up to
change into her pajamas.
The evening came to an end when mom turned off the TV after Jay Leno got
through his monologue and "opening bit,' some of which I didn't understand.
Jessica kept telling me that I would understand some of the jokes in a couple
years. "Okay, whatever,' I said.
Mom then got up, kissed us good night, and walked to bed. Jessica pulled
back the covers and told me to get in. I got on my knees and bent over to reach
down to the floor to grab Whitey. Jessica must have gotten a good close-up look
at my padded butt while I reached over the side of the bed. The secure feeling
of being diapered in the bed returned to me as I grabbed Whitey and clutched
onto him.
After the light was off, I wanted to "talk" to Whitey and I had to talk to
him through only my imagination, since this was the only way Whitey knew how to
talk, anyway and that Jessica was there. In the dark, I held him next to me and
started talking to him via my imagination.
"Oh, hi, there, Brian. my child!" he said. "You're back!"
"Of course I am! I told you I'd never leave you again! I know I didn't see
you much today."
"That's okay, Brian. I know when you have to be a big boy-- and when you
get to be the little boy that I like you to be. You sure are diapered like a
little boy tonight, and I hope you always will be. It will help to remind me
that you are still a little boy. I watched your mom put them on you tonight, and
I would have liked it if she put your plastic pants on, too. Little boys have to
let their moms do that part, too."
"Do you like it when I'm *not* a big boy?" I asked.
"I'd rather that you'd stay a little boy since I'm only supposed to talk
to little boys. Little boys need teddy bears like me to comfort them. Big boys
are supposed to take care of themselves, and that's what's so sad about you
little boys growing up. You don't need us for that comfort anymore after you
grow up! We get abandoned and get tossed into dark and scary closets and are
forever forgotten!"
I almost cried to the very thoughts that I was generating as I made Whitey
say that! In reality, I was thinking of how I went seven years without my
comforting companion.
"Don't say that, Whitey! I'll stay little for you! I promise!"
"I hope you do, too, Brian! I think those diapers will help. I've sensed
that you like them. Do you?"
"This is a little secret between you and me,' I said. "I think I do like
them, but I don't know why."
"That's okay, Brian!" I heard him say. "You don't have to know why. Just
don't ever grow up, okay?"
"I won't. Good night, Whitey". I kissed him on the head.
"Good night, my sweet child. Pleasant dreams."
I then lay down and held Whitey next to me, keeping him close to me. I
shifted my position and felt the diapers rub up against me, feeling the padding
press up on my backside. Even if I tried to think otherwise, I just could not
get over how good and secure my diapers felt.
BRIAN THE BEDWETTER: PART 5
---------------------------
It was at least an hour that I lay half-awake in wet diapers. Nearly every
night was a wet night, but at least the diapers were in place and retaining the
wetness as well as maintaining Jessica's peace of mind.
Jessica was already sitting up and watching The Price is Right on TV,
which was about the only thing on besides talk shows. She heard me stirring
around and turned to me. I squirmed around and pulled the sheets off of me.
Jessica looked down at me and saw that I had wet my diapers.
"I'll change you in a little bit,' she said. "How's the bed?"
I scooted back and examined the mattress. There was no sign of any
leakage, but what a mess it would have been had I not been diapered.
"It's dry,' I said as I looked down between my legs and over the bulging
mass that covered me there.
"Looks like you'll be wearing those diapers awhile,' she said with a bit
of a smile. I stared at her blankly for a moment.
"Well, Brian, as long as this wetting problem keeps up, you will be
wearing them. It's just something you'll have to live with."
"Until I get my own bed, right?" I said.
"Would you sleep in a wet bed, even if it were yours?" she asked me.
"Probably not,' I answered.
"Then you'll probably still wear diapers once you get a bed of your own."
Again, I thought about the pleasures and the displeasures of wearing
diapers. It was better to wake up wearing wet diapers, but in a dry bed, than it
was to have no protection and getting everything wet. As hard as it was to admit
it, they also felt good to wear, and I was confused by this as I wasn't so sure
if they were supposed to feel good. The biggest hang-up I had was the mindset
that I had towards having to wear them because the problem that required them
was in itself so embarrassing. I had to accept the fact that I needed diapers,
and the comfort that they provided by being so soft and thick helped me to
accept wearing them.
After I sat there awhile feeling the wetness around me, Jessica told me to
get ready to have my wet diapers taken off. This time I didn't protest having
Jessica change me. She had changed me once already and I expected her to change
me every morning from here on out, until I was over my bedwetting, at least.
There was no way of telling how long that would be.
Within just a few minutes she had me out of those soggy diapers and wiped
clean. She handed me a pair of my briefs as she finished up. As I slipped them
on I caught myself wishing that they wouldn't be so thin. I felt so vulnerable
when I didn't feel protected by a thick set of diapers. Even if I had some
underwear that was like a diaper-- kind of like a toddler's training pants-- I
would have felt better to be wearing them. I just didn't feel secure unless I
was wearing something that felt thick and soft around me.
At the same time I would have been embarrassed had I been wearing such
underpants. As far as I knew, few nine- year-old boys needed to wear such
specially designed underpants if they existed. I was feeling really confused.
Why did I find wearing diapers to be pleasant physically but unpleasant
mentally? I wasn't sure why I liked wearing them at all when I especially
disliked having the condition that got me to wearing them in the first place.
To add to the confused feelings I had, it would have been more
embarrassing if I had wet my pants in public, which was a problem I never had so
long as I could get to a toilet. I rarely went anyplace away from home while I
was with dad, and if I was anyplace else, it was always where a toilet was
nearby. I even had special permission to leave class anytime I needed to while I
was in school because of my condition. Still, there was always the possibility
that an accident could occur and I often worried about it happening.
In spite of the mixed feelings I had about wearing diapers all the time, I
felt that wearing diapers had their time and place, and that was at bedtime and
in bed. I sat around in my underpants for much of the morning as I often did,
though I wouldn't have minded just staying in diapers as long as I didn't expect
to go anywhere.
Mindi then called and invited Jessica and I to go to the swimming pool
with her. It was a hot day and the swimming pool sounded like a good idea.
Jessica and I agreed that it sounded like something fun to do.
I had a pair of swimming trunks, which served as a pair of shorts most of
the time. I got up and changed into my swimming trunks, or shorts as I often
referred to them. Jessica went into the bathroom and put her swimsuit on and
came back out with her shorts on over it. She also grabbed some towels and some
money for admission, taking it from a coffee can that mom kept for Jessica to
use for such incidentals when mom wasn't there.
"So how are we getting there?" I asked.
"We'll walk to Mindi's; the pool is just a few blocks from her house,'
Jessica said.
"How far is Mindi's house?"
"It's about ten, fifteen minutes, by bike, that is."
"But I don't have a bike,' I said.
"Then we'll just walk,' Jessica said.
"How far is it to walk?"
"Probably a half hour, maybe a little less."
"I wish I had a bike,' I sighed.
It looked like we had a long walk ahead of us. I already drank two glasses
of ice water over the morning, including one that I just gulped down just before
Mindi called. I wasn't so sure that I would make the long walk to Mindi's house
without possibly needing to go to the bathroom because of my weak bladder.
I hoped that I could make it. I wanted to know that I could withstand
going for such a length of time without needing to find a bathroom, especially
since I had consumed so much of that clear, cold water that tasted so good.
Compared to the water at dad's place (and everything else) the drinking water
here was so much better, and since it was so muggy, the water was just the thing
that hit the spot.
In spite of my concerns, I didn't say anything to Jessica about it. I was
embarrassed to bring up the possibility of me wetting my shorts on the way. I
just had to hope that my body wouldn't spring any sudden surprises on me.
It was about noon by the time Jessica and I left the house. Jessica always
left mom a note in case mom came home early and would know where Jessica and I
were. We started walking up our street where it joined an arterial and then met
with the main highway that passed through town. We went the opposite direction
this time, walking away from downtown. As we got to what seemed like a half mile
I asked Jessica, "how much farther?"
"We're just about there,' she said. It's just around the turn and then two
more streets."
Even though it was within site, It still looked to be quite a distance to
me. "I have to go,' I told her, which made the remaining distance seem that much
more formidable.
"Can you hold it?" Jessica asked.
"I think so,' I said, though I wasn't so sure.
There was a long string of vacant lots next to us as we walked down the
sidewalk along the busy thoroughfare, and on the other side were several houses,
but no place was available nearby for me to pee. Both Jessica and I had learned
in our schools about being cautious when going to a neighbor's house, so I
didn't want to ask any of them to use their bathroom. The odds of being abducted
were slim, but it wasn't worth the chance. There were no trees, bushes or
anything to hide behind in any of the open lots.
As my bladder kept reminding me to empty it, I kept walking, trying to
hold it as I walked. I felt my bladder swell as the tension built up. It was
starting to hurt. It seemed like it had been twenty minutes since we left, and
not even an hour since I drank my first glass of water this morning. I didn't
expect to need to go so badly so soon!
"Damn!" I thought. "Why did I drink so much water? I *knew* this would
happen!" I didn't want to tell Jessica that I needed to go so badly, but
finally, I had to stop. She kept walking as I stopped and stood still with my
legs crossed.
"Hold it, Jess!" I yelled up to her.
"What, Brian?" She turned around and dropped her shoulders as she saw what
I was doing. I could see that she had rolled her eyes impatiently.
"I'm about to pee!"
"Mindi's house is just a little farther, do you think you can make it?
We're just about there!"
"I don't know!" I said in a strained voice.
"We'd better hurry, because there's no place out here!" Jessica said.
"Oh, God! Oohh...,' I said, feeling the pressure increasing in my bladder.
"You're not going to make it?" Jessica asked. "Shit!" she interjected as
she stomped her foot.
Just as she said that, I said "No! I'm not gonna make it! I can't stand
it!"
I couldn't hold it any longer. I stood right there along the roadway
crossing my legs and ignoring the dozens of cars that drove by on the busy
highway. I had to do what I was avoiding doing and wet my shorts! My swimming
trunks! I figured only Jessica would know that I had just wet in my shorts, but
then, what would we do when we got to Mindi's?
"No, Brian! You didn't!" Jessica exclaimed. "What happened?"
"What does it look like, Jessica? I peed my damn shorts!" I said. I wanted
to cry again.
"You did drink a lot of water, you know,' she mentioned.
"I know I did! I didn't think we'd be taking a long walk like this and I
thought I would make it!"
"And we were almost there, too!" Jessica said. "What do we do?"
"Why don't you keep going and I'll walk back home,' I said with my head
hung low.
"I can't let you do that, Brian, not along this busy highway! I'm
surprised mom lets me walk or ride my bike along here! Let's get you get back
home and I'll call Mindi to tell her we're going to be late."
"Are you sure we should go back? I'm going to be in a swimming pool and
I'll get wet anyway!"
"Yes, but you don't want Mindi to see you like that, do you?"
"No,' I said.
"Then we'll go back. We'll hurry,' said Jessica.
The entire front of my shorts was wet. There was no way that I could hide
it. I just had to hope there were no oncoming pedestrians on our walk back home.
I felt the wind blowing against the wetness that had run down my legs.
By the time we got back, my shorts had dried a little from the hot sun but
were still damp. While Jessica called Mindi to tell her we were running behind
schedule I walked over to my drawer and grabbed a clean pair of underpants and
my only other pair of shorts that I had, which were not swimming trunks, but I
had little choice. I pulled off the urine-soaked swimming trunks. I left them
lying on the floor next to my side of the bed. While I was getting dressed again
I heard Jessica in the background talking on the phone to Mindi.
"Hi!...we had to come back home for a minute,' Jessica said.
"Well, it was just something we needed to take care of before we left...it
was important." At least Jessica didn't tell Mindi exactly what had to be taken
care of.
"Yes...we're getting ready to leave again...okay...okay...see ya, bye."
The walk back home made me hot and thirsty again so I was tempted to drink
another glass of water. I knew I couldn't take the chance, but I had to relieve
my parched throat somehow. I knew Jessica would have a fit if she saw that I had
drawn another glass of water from the tap. I couldn't stand it. I went over to
the sink and grabbed the same glass that I had drank out of earlier. I filled it
about two thirds of the way, enough to quench my thirst but not enough to force
my bladder to empty itself soon.
As I swallowed a few gulps, Jessica came into the kitchen.
"Brian! You sure are asking for trouble!"
"Huh?" I said, setting the glass down.
"Why are you drinking more water?"
"I'm thirsty, Jess, I can't help it!"
"Look, we are going to Mindi's and we are not coming back this time!"
"Do I even have to go?"
"Either that or you can stay here all afternoon with nothing to do, it's
up to you."
"I'll go,' I said.
"Since you drank that water, I don't want to take any chances. Get up on
the bed,' she told me.
"What? Why?"
"You're wearing a diaper. You'll wet your shorts again on the way!"
Do I have to wear a diaper now?"
"I'm not coming back again for another wetting accident!" she said.
"I didn't drink that much, Jess!" I protested.
"You drank enough, Brian, so you'll have to wear one!"
"But, but...I thought I only had to wear them to bed! I'm not going to the
swimming pool wearing a diaper!"
"You won't wear it in the pool, silly! You'll take it off first!"
"And where will I do that? The dressing room in front of everyone else? I
don't think so!"
"Oh boy,' Jessica sighed.
"Wait!" she interjected. "We're stopping at Mindi's first, so you can
change it there!"
"Do *I* get to change it, or will you do it in front of Mindi?"
"I'll have you do it. Just go into the bathroom to take it off."
"And then tote a diaper and plastic pants around?"
"I'll get you a sack,' Jessica grumbled impatiently, getting antsy to
leave. "We gotta get going!"
"What about afterwards?" I asked. "Do I have to wear a diaper on the way
back?"
"It depends on if you'll need one, c'mon!"
I decided that I would go ahead and go swimming, even if it meant having
to wear a diaper underneath my shorts on the way over and so as long as I didn't
have to be changed in front of Mindi. I got on the bed and got into position as
Jessica took a diaper-- just one so my shorts would still fit-- and pulled it up
into my crotch. She pinned each side up and then told me to get up and put my
plastic pants on.
"Do I still need the plastic pants?" I asked.
"If you wet the way you do, yes, now just put them on so we can go!"
The plastic pants were quite loose and had a lot of extra space in them,
space that was usually occupied by extra diaper layers. They also went up so
high on my waist that my shorts were not able to conceal the top three or four
inches of the plastic pants. Even with my diapering on me at only a third of the
thickness normally applied to me, it still made the shorts a tight fit. I tried
to stuff the top of my plastic pants into my shorts, but there was still an
obvious sign that I had them on since they just would not tuck into my shorts
very easily. Instead, I pulled my shirt over the plastic pants so they wouldn't
show.
At long last we were finally on our way. It felt strange to feel the
plastic pants shifting around as I walked in them. I never really walked while
wearing them except for within the confinement of the apartment. They rustled
and crinkled with every step. At least I had peace of mind knowing that if I did
need to go that I had a diaper to catch it.
We reached the point where I last stopped to wet my shorts and realized
that I didn't feel much of a need to go, although I was beyond the threshold of
nature's calling. By the time we got to Mindi's house I made sure to use the
toilet then.
Jessica handed me the sack and directed me to the bathroom.
"They have changing rooms at the pool,' Mindi told me as I went into the
bathroom carrying the sack. While I was going to be changing in the bathroom as
she may have thought since I was carrying a bag, I just didn't want her to know
what I was changing. I just ignored her and went into the bathroom, closing the
door behind me.
It felt weird to be in a strange bathroom and having to remove a diaper,
which, incidentally, I didn't even need, though if the walk had continued I
would have most likely used the diaper. I pulled my shorts off and then the
plastic pants. The diaper was wet, not from peeing in it, but from perspiration,
especially after such a long walk in sultry weather. I removed the pins from
each side and pulled it out of my crotch. I then stuffed the diaper and the
plastic pants into the bag. I peed into the toilet before putting the shorts
back on. They were uncomfortable to wear without any underpants on, but I only
had to walk short distance wearing them like that.
We then took off and headed for the pool, which was only another three
blocks. Upon arrival Jessica paid our admissions and headed into the girl's
dressing room with Mindi. As I only needed to remove my shirt and my shoes, I
"changed" out in front of the dressing rooms. I stood and waited for Jessica and
Mindi to come out and threw my stuff in with theirs and checked it in.
After two cool and refreshing hours of swimming, splashing, and sliding we
got out of the pool and bought some sodas to sip in the shade of a tree on the
lawn nearby. It was getting late in the afternoon and we decided that we had
better get going back.
We returned to Mindi's house where we sat around for a few minutes before
taking the long walk back in the hot afternoon sun. I wasn't sure if Jessica
expected me to wear my diaper on the way back. I didn't think it was necessary
that I did, being that if I had wet, we were just heading home anyway. I asked
Jessica to get my bag out of Mindi's bedroom. She just grabbed it and said she
was ready to go; she said nothing about having me wear the diaper on the way
back.
We weren't far from Mindi's house before I felt the soda getting ready to
exit my system. I asked Jessica if we could go back to Mindi's to use the toilet
there. She stopped walking and turned to me.
"You should have used the toilet before we left!"
"I didn't need to go then! That's what's so hard about this, Jessica! I'll
feel fine and then-- I'll just need to go! I wish you understood, Jess, because
I don't think you do!"
"Well, Brian, maybe I don't because I'm not you. I just don't know how you
got along all this time without diapers! You need them, day *and* night!"
I didn't say anything as we continued walking back. The heat beating off
of the sidewalk and the lack of shade made for a very long walk, not to mention
a bladder begging to be emptied. I tried hard to make it, but it happened again!
We were just off the main highway and getting close to home when it happened.
The front of my shorts was dripping wet, and I had nothing between my body and
my shorts-- not even underwear-- to absorb it.
"This has got to be taken care of, Brian!" Jessica said. "Since diapers
work for you at night, they should work for you in the day, too."
I felt so embarrassed to be standing on the sidewalk with a wet spot on my
shorts! It didn't help matters that some kids on their bikes passed by and saw
me standing there. I just wanted to get home, and when we did, mom was already
there. Right as we walked in, Jessica said, "Brian wet his shorts, mom! Twice!"
I had a good feeling what was going to happen next.
BRIAN THE BEDWETTER: PART 6
---------------------------
"Oh, Brian!" mom said as she hugged me for comfort. "What happened this
time?"
"We walked all the way to the pool, and I wet just before we got to
Mindi's, and so then we had to come back and..."
I was crying again, afraid to admit that this problem of mine was worse
than I had once thought. I had never been subjected to such conditions except
for when I couldn't get into dad's apartment and ended up wetting my pants out
in the hallway. That should have indicated a problem, but I had always taken for
granted that a toilet was close by and accessible. Maybe I did need to wear
diapers full time.
"...and then I wet on the way back!"
Mom gave me a few minutes to cry it out before she talked again.
"I'm afraid that this means only one thing, Brian,' mom said.
"I'll be wearing diapers all day now,' I said, presuming that this was the
answer.
"Yes, Brian. But the diapers you wear now are much too thick for your
other clothing to fit over it. "
"I wore one on the walk over to Mindi's...after I wet,' I said shyly.
"Yes, but it would be a lot easier if I get you some special underpants to
wear in the daytime. They'll go on and off just like regular underwear. We'll
get them tomorrow."
"What do I do now?" I asked.
"You might want to get those wet shorts off. Give them to me and I'll wash
them. Where are your other shorts?"
"On the floor. I wet them, too, remember?"
"Well, give me them, too. Just slip on some underpants for now."
I spent the rest of the evening sitting around in just my underwear. After
dinner I took my bath and got diapered. As mom put them on me, I began to
remember again that the diapers felt so good to wear, which only added to my
confused feelings towards wearing them. I hated wetting all the time, but I
actually felt that the diapers were some kind of reward, perhaps an incentive,
to keep wetting. They certainly didn't encourage me to try to stop wetting.
I thought of this situation being similar to being sick, but getting good-
tasting medicine for it. If the medicine tasted good enough, it made being sick
not such a bad thing. It wasn't the most accurate analogy, but it was the best
thing I could think of at the time.
I felt those thick layers press up against my crotch and then tighten
their pull on me as they got pinned into place. Mom then handed me the plastic
pants for me to put on. I felt silly about it, but I wanted mom to put them on
me instead.
"Well,' mom shrugged, "if you want me to."
She told me to stand up and step into the leg bands of the plastic pants
sitting on the floor. I put my feet into them. Mom then grabbed the waistband
and pulled it up high on me. I felt them slide up inch by inch until they were
snug against my diapers. My shirt had become tucked in between the diapers and
the plastic pants as she pulled them over my shirt. She released the band and
let it snap into place well above my waist.
While mom and Jessica were watching TV I grabbed my bear Whitey and
started talking to him, talking through my imagination. Using Whitey as some
sort of sounding board allowed me to think back upon the day and try to resolve
some the conflicting feelings I was still having about wearing diapers. I felt
his soft body in my hands. Again I had to speak to him by imagination, first
waking him up from his state of lifelessness.
"Hi there, Whitey,' I said, staring into his reassuringly friendly eyes
and smiling face. In my mind, I felt his flesh warm up and his body coming to
life. He looked at me so innocently and patiently and said, "How are you, Brian,
my sweet child?"
"It was a hard day,' I said. "I don't want any more days like today."
"You went swimming and you had fun, that wasn't so bad, was it?"
"No, I mean, I wet my pants twice, and now I'm going to be wearing
diapers, or these special underpants, whatever."
"Yes, Brian, you do, but then, remember that since you're just a little
boy to me that it's okay with me that you wear diapers all the time."
"Can I ask you something, Whitey?"
"Of course, what do you wish to ask?"
"Am I supposed to like wearing diapers?"
"I don't see what is wrong with liking to wear them. A lot of little boys
like to wear diapers, you know."
"But I have no choice! I have to wear them, and I wish I didn't wet all
the time!"
"I feel your feelings, Brian. I know exactly how you feel,' I heard Whitey
assure me as I ran the thought through my mind.
"So what does this mean?"
"It means that, even though you wish you didn't have this wetting problem,
you do like wearing diapers for it,' he explained.
"But am I supposed to like them?"
"It's better than not liking to wear them, in addition to wetting all the
time."
I found that what I was doing was justifying my need to wear diapers by
focusing on the positive aspects of wearing them. It was embarrassing to be
wetting all the time-- now to the point that I would probably wear diapers all
the time-- but wearing diapers made it better just because I liked the way the
diapers felt and how they looked. The diapers gave me such a secure feel,
whereas without them, I felt so vulnerable.
"I think I know why I like wearing diapers, Whitey,' I said to him.
"I think I know too, but please tell me, anyway."
"I just feel better when I have them on. I know that if I do have an
accident, the diapers will take care of it."
"That's right, my sweet boy. And since you're just a little boy, you don't
need to worry about having an accident. It's only an accident when you're not
wearing a diaper."
"It is?" I asked.
"Of course! Little boys who wet their diapers aren't having accidents.
They're just doing what is expected since they wear diapers for that very
reason."
"I also like how I look wearing them."
"Yes, yes, Brian, and that's what a lot of little boys do. Why do you
think they don't like toilet training? Their mommies are trying to get them to
give up their diapers. They have to give up their thick, soft, warm diapers that
feel so good and look so good and secure as they're placed tightly around them."
I was forming a lot of ideas concerning the pleasures that could be
enjoyed from wearing diapers. These were just my ideas, and they were not the
things I would want to share with anybody, except Whitey.
Eventually I fell asleep while holding Whitey in my hands. Only when I
felt Jessica jostling the bed as she got into it was I awakened. I opened my
eyes to the light, only to see that it was shut off right away. I pretended to
remain asleep as I felt mom pull the covers over me.
As I woke up the next morning I felt my wet diapers wedged between my
legs. I stopped to think of what it would have been like had I been wetting
Jessica's bed all this time. Ever since I started wearing the diapers in bed I
didn't feel bad about having wetting accidents. Or, they weren't accidents since
I had a diaper on, so I thought.
Jessica didn't have to get up in the middle of the night to change the
sheets. She was able to sleep soundly and be assured that her bed would remain
dry no matter what happened in the middle of the night.
I felt bad that I had dropped Whitey on the floor while I was sleeping. I
reached down and picked him up.
"Oh, Whitey! I'm so sorry I dropped you!"
"I was asleep, Brian. I never knew it happened."
"I must have hurt you still!"
"No, no. I'm okay. How are you this morning?"
"I'm wet."
"Yes, you are. But you know what? It doesn't matter whether or not you
are. Jessica is still sound asleep. Your wetting isn't waking her up anymore."
Jessica had awakened shortly after I did. Unlike me, she got up right away
and got herself dressed. I heard her pouring a bowl of cereal, which I decided
was a good time for me to get out of bed.
I walked over to the kitchen and grabbed a bowl for my cereal. As I sat
down across from Jessica at the table, I felt the wetness in my diapers press up
against me. The soaked layers felt drenched as the contents were wrung out from
the center of the diapers as my weight pressed down on them. As I sometimes sat
with my foot underneath me, I felt the smooth plastic pants press up against it.
I became more acutely aware of the different sensations that wearing the diapers
created.
"Do you need to be changed?" Jessica asked me with her mouth full with a
bite of cereal.
"Yes. I'm soaked,' I replied.
She finished her bite and then said, "okay, I'll change you when you
finish your cereal."
Jessica got up and prepared for my diaper change. She got out the pail and
laid the towel out on the bed. She also provided me with a clean pair of
underwear, although I felt like just staying in the diapers all day today.
Wearing diapers was becoming more and more a part of my daily life, perhaps
becoming a part of me in general. I was confused about feeling this way still,
but since I found such redeeming qualities in wearing diapers it was too hard to
resist such feelings.
Jessica had me lie down before her as she reached around my plastic pants
and pulled them off. Next she pulled off the soaked diapers. I felt the solid-
packed layers of diapers that were wedged between my legs release their tight
hold on my crotch. The air that was blowing from the fan blew on my wet skin,
making it feel even colder. Jessica wiped me thoroughly and handed me my
underpants.
It was too late to ask her to put me back in diapers again, and I wasn't
so sure what she would think if I had asked her to do so. I stood up and pulled
my underpants on and sat around in them until I decided to go outside later in
the day.
I walked around the apartment complex and went back behind the buildings
where the creek ran. I sat on the bank and tossed rocks, sticks, and other
available objects into the flowing water. The shade and the cool breeze was
refreshing on what was yet another hot summer day.
As I sat there I thought about how it felt to not have such thick padding
beneath me. I was just sitting there with a pair of shorts and underpants on, no
protection in case I had an accident. I kind of wished that I had been wearing
diapers as I sat there. There really was nothing wrong with wearing them as long
as nobody else knew.
At the same time, I couldn't isolate myself from the rest of the world
because I wore diapers. I didn't have any friends since I had moved in with mom
and I knew that if I had a friend I would have been a lot happier. There were a
lot of kids in the apartment complex with varying ages. At least some of them
had to have been in my grade.
I hoped to get to know some of the kids in the complex. I wasn't one to
walk up to a group of boys playing basketball and introduce myself. I just hoped
that somebody would notice that I was one of the new kids and would invite me to
join their activities.
I took one more walk around the area and returned to the apartment. I
needed to go to the bathroom, but since I did not have a diaper on I had to go
to the toilet or go into my shorts, and if I had missed the toilet and peed into
my shorts it would have been, by my own definition, an accident.
For a short moment I thought about doing it on purpose so that Jessica
would want to put me back into a diaper for the rest of the day. I tried to
banish the thought, but it sounded appealing to do. I wasn't ready to actually
do such a thing, so I did just what all big boys were supposed to do and went to
the toilet.
After I finished in the bathroom I wished that I could have been wearing a
diaper. I was adapting to wearing them at night and this adaptation was starting
to spread over into where I wanted to wear them in the daytime. I would never
have to worry about getting to a toilet ever again as long as I remained
diapered all the time, thus eliminating what I considered to be accidents.
Perhaps I could stop worrying about getting to the toilet altogether and things
would be better. The only issue was having to be around others while wearing
diapers, and this would only be more of a problem once school started.
Later that evening when mom got home she brought us food from McDonald's
for our dinner. She explained that she was going out tonight and didn't have
time to cook dinner for us. Curious, I asked mom what she was doing.
"I'm just seeing some friends,' mom told us. "Can you diaper Brian
tonight, Jessica?" she asked my sister.
"Sure, mom. How late will you be?"
"I don't know, but I won't be out past midnight."
Mom then walked into the bathroom and took a shower, which I thought was
unusual since she always showered early in the morning before work.
"Does mom go out like this much?" I asked Jessica.
"No, usually not. I think it has something to do with that guy she's been
talking to on the phone."
"Oh, so mom's dating, like dad did?"
"Yeah, I guess so."
"Oh, no!" I said, wanting to break into a cry.
"What's wrong, Brian?" Jessica asked me, putting her hand on my knee.
"This is too much like when I lived with dad, I don't know if I can handle
it!"
"Why? What does this have to do with dad? He and mom are divorced, you
know that!"
"Yes, but,' I paused as a sobbed, "when dad went out, he would stay out
late and he'd come home drunk and he'd always have someone different with
him...and then..." I took a long pause to retain my composure.
"And then what?" Jessica prompted.
"They'd be up all night and they kept me awake, it was awful, Jessica!"
"I don't think mom would do that, Brian,' Jessica said. "I know mom is
better than that. I don't think she'd get herself drunk the way dad did."
"Do you think she'll come home with anyone and stay up all night with
him?"
"I don't know, Brian, what mom does is her business. She'll be okay!"
"Okay,' I said, though I still envisioned many flashbacks to the times
when dad put me through such hell every weekend. I had to tell myself that this
concerned mom this time and that mom was not going to do the same things as dad
did. I just needed some reassurance, so I grabbed my trusting friend Whitey the
Bear and talked to him about it. He helped me to deal with my feelings, and as I
thought it out, mom was just going out to have a good time, and her idea of a
good time was much different than dad's, at least I hoped.
Mom came out of her bedroom wearing some nice clothes, nicer than I would
expect her to be wearing, nicer than what perhaps she could even afford. She
also spritzed herself up with perfume, it's fragrance rather potent as she knelt
down to kiss me goodbye.
"I'll be home before too late, kids, bye,' mom said. "Oh, and I rented a
couple movies for you to watch while I'm gone; they're on the table. See ya!"
I still had a hard time thinking about mom going out without relating it
back to my experiences with dad. At least mom made sure we were fed and had
something to do with our time before we left and assured us she wouldn't be out
late. Dad often times left me hungry and didn't care when he got home.
My greatest uncertainty was the guy she was meeting. Was he a clean,
decent gentleman, or was he like, well-- like my dad? It was hard for me to
relax that evening as I couldn't shake the thought off. This was so much like
being at dad's, sitting alone in the apartment for an entire evening.
Jessica saw me sitting there, staring straight at the wall in front of me.
"Brian, what's wrong?"
"I'm thinking about mom,' I said.
"Brian, please, mom is going to be okay! She's just going out for the
evening to have some fun, that's all. Please, just stop thinking about this
being like dad when he went out. I know he put you through a lot of misery and I
know its hard for you to take, but you have to look at things differently now.
Things are better, you get dinner every night, you live in a clean apartment,
everything will be okay."
"It's just like before still,' I mumbled. "Dad would leave and I'd be here
alone, and..."
"You have me here, Brian, you're not alone now. I'll start the movie; that
should help take your mind off of things."
Jessica got up and grabbed one of the movies that mom rented for us. She
held them both up and let me choose the title. I chose "Home Alone,' which I
hadn't ever seen. It was ironic that I decided to watch this one since I felt
that I was, well, home alone and this was the feeling that was making me
uncomfortable.
Just before Jessica started the movie she asked me when I would like to
have my diapers put on. It was only 7:30, a long ways from bedtime, but I was
wanting to wear them, so I told her "now".
"You sure?" Jessica asked me.
"Yeah, I guess it doesn't matter when,' I said, hoping to make my reason
for wanting to wear them now sound more valid.
It was too late to tell her to diaper me later. She was already getting my
diapers and other supplies ready as she told me to get up and get my shorts off.
I laid down on the towel and spread my legs apart as she applied plenty of
powder. Next she pulled the thick diapers up into my crotch and covered my
front, feeling the diapers going over my stomach. She pinned them into place and
grabbed the plastic pants. She held them out in front of her and gave them a
shake to straighten them. She started to hand them to me when I stopped and
humbly asked her, "could you put them on me?"
She looked at me for a second and said "okay, if you'd rather that I do
it, then I will."
Unlike mom, Jessica had me stay on the bed as she ran the plastic pants up
my legs. She instructed me to prop myself up as she pulled them over my diapers.
She released the strong waistband and let them snap into place. Now I could
watch the movie and not worry about being interrupted by a need to use the
bathroom if such a need were to arise, which was quite likely.
I sat on the bed with my back against the headboard, making myself
comfortable as Jessica sat next to me and clicked the remote to start the movie.
She had just fast- forwarded through the FBI warning and the previews when
someone knocked on the door. To avoid being seen wearing diapers I pulled back
the covers and them pulled them over me, at least to my chest. It turned out to
be Mindi making an unexpected visit. What was I to do now?
BRIAN THE BEDWETTER: PART 7
---------------------------
"Oh, hi Mindi!" Jessica greeted her friend. "What are you doing here?"
"I was bored,' she said. "I should have called first, but I figured you'd
probably be home."
"Oh, that's okay, Mindi. come on in,' Jessica said.
Mindi looked at me sitting on the bed with the blankets over my legs. "Hi,
Brian,' she said.
"What are you two doing tonight?" she asked Jessica.
"We're watching a movie, `Aladdin'. We haven't even started it yet. You
can stay and watch it with us if you like."
"Sure,' Mindi accepted. "Got nothing to do at my place!"
Mindi sat down in the chair that mom usually occupied, which was when she
noticed that our mother was not home.
"Where's your mom, Jess?" Mindi asked her.
"She went out."
"Your mom went out? How long since she's done that?"
"Awhile. She said she'd be back before midnight."
"Oh, is she seeing someone?"
"Well, she was going to meet him tonight."
"Ooh, I wonder if she'll bring him by later. Maybe they'll--"
Jessica started waving her hand at Mindi, motioning for her to be quiet.
"What, Jess?"
"Shh! Don't talk about anything like that right now, Mindi,' Jessica said
to Mindi, almost whispering.
"What? Because of Brian? He's old enough now, isn't he?"
"No, no, it's not that-- look, I'll explain later, okay?"
Jessica offered both of us a glass of ice water before starting the movie.
We both agreed that ice water sounded really good as it was still hot and stuffy
in the apartment. Jessica knew that I could safely drink the ice water and not
worry about any accidents later, being that I was diapered now.
At the same time, because I was diapered, I was stuck in the bed with the
covers over me. I was getting hot, both from my feeling nervous about Mindi
being there, and from the sweltering warmth in the apartment. The plastic pants
only exacerbated the feeling.
"Are you cold?" Mindi asked me, seeing that I had the covers over me.
"Uh, yeah, I am,' I said, though this was as far from the truth as it
could be. I wanted to throw the covers off to relieve myself of the heat.
"How could you be cold?" Mindi questioned me. "It's roasting in here!"
"I was, but now I'm feeling too hot now,' I said. I pulled back the top
cover but left the sheet over me.
"Could you at least get up turn that fan over this way?" she asked me.
"Uh, I'll wait until Jessica gets back in here,' I said, noting that the
fan was just out of my reach enough that I would have to get up from the bed and
possibly expose my diapers.
"Never mind,' she said as she got up. "I can get it."
She walked over to the stand that sat next to my bed and turned the fan to
oscillating mode so that it would hit her and us alternately. She then
discovered a slight fallacy.
"If you're feeling cold, then why would you have the fan blowing on you?"
"Jessica was using it because she was hot,' I said.
Mindi looked confused, all because I was trying to avoid getting out of
the bed and being seen with diapers on. While she was adjusting the fan she
knocked over the bottle of powder that was used for my diapering, spilling some
of it onto the stand, which in turn was blown into my face by the fan. She also
must have noticed my underwear and shorts laying out in the open on the floor,
though she probably didn't think much of this. At least I hadn't wet into them.
Mindi returned to her chair as Jessica entered the room with the ice
water. She also brought along a bag of potato chips.
"Your brother's weird, Jess,' Mindi said.
"Why? What did he do?" Jessica asked her.
"He said he was cold, but he had the fan blowing on him, and then said he
was hot, so then I asked him to turn it so that it would blow on me, but he
wanted to wait until you got back. I got up and turned it, though."
Jessica just stared at her for a second.
"Huh?"
"Never mind,' Mindi said. "It doesn't matter now."
"Okay. You got your water, you got your fan, everyone's comfortable now?"
Jessica asked us. We both told her "yes" as Jessica started the movie.
It was only twenty minutes or so into the movie when I needed to go to the
bathroom, and it wasn't only peeing that I had to do. I had to poop, too, which
meant that I would have to go into the diapers or hold it until Mindi left, and
even if I did that, there was no point in taking my diapers off to poop into the
toilet, only to have the diapers put back on again. This would have more or less
defeated the purpose of the diapers, even though it was only intended that I wet
in them.
I held it for another ten or fifteen minutes before the pressure got too
strong to hold it back. I was used to crossing my legs to hold back a poop until
I could get to a toilet, but the diapers were much too thick to even bring my
legs together, much less cross them. I had no control as the mess spilled into
the back of my diapers. I felt the squishy excrement spread out and clump up at
the bottommost area of my rear end, finding its way up into my crotch.
The mess felt big and sticky. Most of all, I could smell it, hoping that
the odor wouldn't drift too far, and the oscillating fan didn't help matters
any. I knew that Jessica had smelled it as she turned to me and asked me if I
had pooped.
"Yes,' I said very quietly.
"I'd better get you changed soon,' she whispered.
"Can we wait until Mindi leaves?" I asked.
"I don't know how long she plans to stay. She may want to watch the second
movie."
Fifteen minutes later I was still sitting in the same position and the
smell was just as potent as it was before. Mindi said something about it.
"Eww! What stinks in here?" she said as she winced.
"I dunno, I can't smell anything,' I said.
"Whatever it is, it stinks!"
I continued to sit there in the bed with the mess in my diapers. I kept
smelling it and I knew that Jessica and Mindi were smelling it, too. There was
little I could do but to sit there in the mess and try to watch the movie. I
felt the large mass of poop in my diapers squish around as I shifted my body and
moved it; even the slightest move reminded me that I was sitting there in messy
diapers.
I needed to be changed, but unless I wanted to get up and show off my
diapers to Mindi I would have to stay in the bed until she left. I felt so
helpless, sort of between a rock and a squishy place in this case. I had to
summon Jessica's attention somehow, and I had to be subtle about it.
"Jessica?" I asked her. She didn't respond as she was more focused on the
movie.
I tried to get her attention again.
"Jessica?"
Again, she did not respond. I waited a few minutes until a quiet part in
the movie came up.
"Jessica?" I asked her one more time. I got Mindi's attention before I got
Jessica's.
"Your brother's calling you,' Mindi told Jessica.
"What, Brian? I'm watching the movie!"
I wanted to signal to her without telling her I needed to be changed, but
she didn't turn her head, so I couldn't make any hand motions to try telling her
I needed to be changed.
I did it one more time.
"Jessica!"
"Whaaat?!" she responded impatiently. This time she looked at me, but
then, Mindi was looking at me. I didn't know how to communicate with Jessica
that I needed a diaper change. She then figured out what I wanted. She paused
the tape, got up and walked over to me.
I motioned for her to come closer to me so I could whisper to her.
"I really need to be changed,' I said.
"I'll have to do it in front of Mindi if I do it now,' she whispered back.
"Can Mindi go in the other room?"
Jessica dropped her shoulders and rolled her eyes.
"She'll know you're hiding something, she probably already knows that now
because you're whispering to me! The movie's about over, so I'll try to distract
her and then you can run into mom's room or something."
That sounded like a good idea. I told Jessica to call Mindi into the
kitchen to divert her so I could run into mom's room. I didn't realize it until
after Jessica had gotten herself situated again, but I thought about what I
would do when Jessica was finished since Mindi would probably return to the
living room. It wouldn't be easy to sneak back to the bed with Mindi sitting in
mom's chair, which faced sideways. Mindi would have seen me re-enter the room
before I would have a chance to get into the bed.
There was one other problem. Jessica would have to transport all of the
diaper changing stuff in front of Mindi. She'd have to get the diaper pail,
pins, powder, and most of all, diapers. She'd have to pull them out of the
drawers in full view of Mindi.
I decided that this idea wouldn't work after all. I wanted to tell Jessica
of the problems I thought of, but I didn't want to pester her again. I sat out
the remainder of the movie, sitting in the congealing, stinky glob of poop
pressed between my body and the thick diapers.
By this time I needed to pee again. I didn't even try holding it for any
length of time. As the onset of the feeling in my bladder came on I started
wetting into the diapers. I let it out in small spurts over a period of several
minutes. By the time the credits were rolling I had wet quite a bit, the small
spurts becoming more sustained streams as I emptied my bladder. The mixture of
pee and poop, all of it confined to my diapers, would make for quite a rancid-
smelling combination.
As Jessica stopped the tape and started the rewind she called Mindi into
the kitchen. This was my cue to make my run for mom's room. Mindi got up and
joined Jessica into the kitchen. This was my chance, only that I knew the plan
would not work because of the reasons I thought of earlier.
I thought of grabbing some diapers and the other supplies to take in there
with me so Jessica wouldn't have to get them, but it was too late by the time it
occurred to me. Instead I sat there in mostly the same position that I had been
in for almost an hour and a half.
Jessica and Mindi both returned to the living room. Mindi looked at me,
turned to Jessica and asked her if I was bedridden.
"He must be,' Jessica replied. "He hasn't moved since I started the
movie!"
"He must have a strong bladder!" Mindi added. "I need to go the bathroom!"
There was something strangely suspicious in the way they were talking
about me and my being bedridden, plus the fact that Mindi said that I had a
strong bladder and immediately proceeded to use the restroom. It all segued
together in such a way that perhaps Jessica told her while they were in the
kitchen.
Jessica kept telling me, "go now! Go to mom's room!"
"The plan won't work!" I said.
"How?" she asked.
"You need to get my diaper stuff, which you'd have to do in front of
Mindi, and then she'd see us when we come out of mom's room."
"Then I guess you'll just sit there in the bed in messy diapers until
Mindi leaves!" she said.
Next came the biggest turn of events that would ultimately reveal to Mindi
that I wore diapers. Out of nowhere, a bee-- maybe it was a wasp or a hornet or
a yellow jacket-- was buzzing around. I had a big fear of such insects, which I
just classified as "big yellow stinging flying things". It didn't matter what
they were, I was intensely afraid of them all.
"Jessica! There's a bee in here!" I exclaimed.
"It won't hurt you,' Jessica tried to assure me.
"They've hurt me before! Get it out of here!" I exclaimed.
"Brian, relax! I'll open the door and let it out!"
"That's probably how it got in!"
"Okay, I'll swat it then!" Jessica said, not being very understanding of
my phobia for big yellow stinging flying things.
I watched it buzz around the room, making wide sweeps from one corner to
the next. It swooped down towards the lamp by the chair and then came back over
to me!
My fear of the insect was stronger than my inhibitions from allowing
myself to be seen in my diapers. I fled from the bed and ran out to the center
of the room, watching it fly around the ceiling. It came back towards me. I ran
back towards the hall, screaming "help! It's after me!"
I turned around and saw that it had flown back towards the front door.
"Let it out! Let it out!" I yelled.
Just then Mindi had exited from the bathroom, only to see my butt very
thickly padded in bulging white diapers with plastic pants over them!
I turned around and put my hands over my front as I hunched over, trying
to hide the diapers I was wearing, which was a futile effort.
"What's going on out here?" Mindi asked.
"There's a bee or a wasp or something that Brian's afraid of!" Jessica
said.
"Eeeh, I'm afraid of them, too!" Mindi said to me.
By then I had turned back around, realizing that I had now been "caught"
wearing the diapers.
"Just stay there! I'll swat it when it lands!" Jessica said to us.
We both stood there motionless as we hoped the insect would not come back
our way. While we watched, Mindi talked to me.
"You're afraid of them, too, eh?" she said.
"Y-yes,' I answered nervously. Standing there in front of Mindi in my
diapers only added to the tense feelings I had over a bee flying around the
apartment.
"I got stung on the butt one time,' she told me. "I was sitting down and a
bee flew up into my shorts and stung me on the back of my thigh."
"Mine was worse,' I told her voluntarily with my voice still cracking and
my speech broken.
"Me and some friends were playing in some trees at school, and some
hornets built a nest in there over the summer, and so on the first day of school
we were playing and then all these hornets started flying all around us and we
all got stung. I got two stings on my left arm, one on my right arm and one on
the chest and one on the face."
"Oh, Brian, that's terrible!" she said, putting her hand on my shoulder.
"It really hurts to get it on the butt,' she said, "but you're in no danger of
that now, I can see.".
It surprised me that this was the first such comment she had made about me
wearing diapers. She didn't even seem surprised when she came out of the
bathroom and saw me standing there in my diapers! What was going on here? At
least she wasn't laughing at me or making jokes about it, except perhaps for
telling me that I was in no danger of being stung on the butt like she was.
The bee finally landed in the window sill long enough for Jessica to go
after it and deliver the lethal swat. After she had killed it we walked over to
see what it was. Even when they were dead I was afraid to look at them. The
yellow and black stripes on its abdomen appeared so threatening to me. I just
couldn't stand to be around them after that terrifying incident that occurred to
me on the first day of third grade.
"It's dead now, guys,' Jessica told us. "Mindi's afraid of bees, too,
Brian."
"I know, she told me,' I said.
"You're not just afraid of them, Brian, you're absolutely terrified of
them! I mean, even Mindi doesn't scream and panic like you did!"
I told Jessica the same story I told Mindi about getting stung by the
hornets at school. She understood after I told her in such dramatic detail about
the loud swarm that surrounded us and the screams of pain and fear from the
dozen or so kids that were playing there in the trees with me.
"Well, I suppose I'd better take care of you now,' Jessica told me. "By
the way, I did tell Mindi about you wearing diapers, Brian."
"When? Why?" I asked.
"I told her when I had her get up so you could run into mom's room. I had
to tell her, Brian, and look-- she understands, she's not laughing!"
I stood next to Mindi and looked at her.
"It's okay, Brian,' she said with a straight face.
"You're not laughing?"
"Why would I laugh? You need to wear diapers. It's sort of unusual to see
someone as old as you wearing them, though. One of my other friends was a
bedwetter, but she didn't wear diapers."
"Can we still go to mom's room?" I asked Jessica.
"I have all your stuff ready out here, Brian."
"But what about Mindi?"
"I won't look, I promise!" she said. She sat back down in her chair and
turned her head as Jessica told me to hop up on the bed.
It was especially discomforting to get changed now. This was the first
time I had been changed out of a messy diaper, plus the fact that Mindi was
there, even if she wasn't looking. The whole situation felt very awkward.
The smell was just as obnoxiously foul as I had expected. It made Jessica
wince and hold her breath as much as she could. She seemed to be repulsed by
having to wipe all the poop off of me, but after she made the first couple wipes
and got her hands dirty she proceeded with the wiping more swiftly.
"I hope I don't have to do this very often,' she commented as she turned
away to get a breath of fresh air, as fresh as it could be, anyway.
While Jessica was busy wiping up the mess that had spread all over my
bottom I kept my eyes fixed on Mindi, making sure she wouldn't try to sneak a
peak. Respectfully, she kept her head turned; I was in such a compromising
position as it was.
She ensured that I was thoroughly wiped before she put the clean diapers
on me. It felt good to have that large bulging mess taken care of. I felt the
diapers press up against my crotch as I savored the feel of clean diapers going
on. Like always, Jessica ensured that they were tightly pinned into place.
"Okay, you can look now!" Jessica told Mindi.
"Wait!" I said. "You're not done yet!"
"You're covered now, Brian,' Jessica said. "All you need is your plastic
pants!"
She paused for a moment and asked, "do you want me to put them on you?"
"If you could,' I answered. Jessica gave me a brief smile.
Now that Mindi had been given permission to watch, she was doing just that
as she watched Jessica slide the plastic pants up on me.
"That must get tiresome,' Mindi commented, "having to change him and clean
him and put all those diapers back on him!"
"It's okay, once you get used to the smell,' Jessica remarked.
Jessica carried the pail off to the wash room. I heard her throw them in
the washing machine as the diapers were very soiled and needed immediate
washing.
After Jessica got her hands washed she asked Mindi if she'd like to stay
for the second movie.
"I'd like to, but I'll need to get going,' she said.
"It's starting to get dark,' Jessica commented.
"You're right. I'll call my mom; she might let me stay."
After Mindi called to get permission to stay for the other movie she came
back and said, "okay, I'll stay."
With that, Jessica popped in the other movie as I took my spot on the bed,
this time without any covers over my legs to conceal my diapers. I actually felt
better by not having to hide a secret from Mindi, plus that she had earned my
trust in her as she didn't laugh at me for wearing diapers.
I also decided to get Whitey out to let him watch the movie, regretting
that he didn't get to see the first one. This time we watched "Home Alone,'
another one I hadn't yet seen. At least now I wasn't left home alone myself like
when dad went out to get drunk. Maybe things were starting to look up now. I
looked at Whitey. He said, "you are right, Brian, things are getting better."
I settled down with Whitey between my legs, his back leaning up against my
diapered crotch as we watched the second movie.
BRIAN THE BEDWETTER: PART 8
---------------------------
It was approaching 11:00 by the time the second movie ended. Mindi was
still there waiting for her mom to pick her up. My mom was still out and about.
I began to worry about her, even though she assured us she would be home before
midnight. Still, it was so much like the times when I would sit up and wait for
dad, and it was hard for me to hide my emotions that resulted from such
memories.
A few minutes later Mindi's mom came to the door. I got back into the bed
and threw the covers over me before Jessica got to the door to let her in.
"You ready, Mindi?" she asked her daughter.
"Yes, mom."
She then looked over at the bed and saw me lying in it.
"Oh,' she said, "you must be Brian."
"Yes,' I replied.
"Pleased to meet you, Brian, let's go Mindi."
Mindi said goodbye to us as she went out the door. Mom came home about
fifteen minutes later. Unlike dad, she was not drunk and didn't have anyone with
her.
"Hi, mom!" Jessica greeted her.
"Hi, kids, how was your evening?"
"It was okay, we just watched some movies. Mindi was over and watched them
with us."
"How was your night out?" Jessica asked mom.
"I had a wonderful time! He took me to dinner and we talked a long time
afterwards, he's really a great man!"
Mom seemed to hit it off well with this guy, which left me with several
thoughts running through my mind, most notably, if he could possibly be my
future step-father. I asked Jessica what she thought.
"It's too soon, Brian,' she said. "They've only seen each other once, you
know."
"Yeah, but, there's always that chance they could marry,' I said.
"That would be great if mom could get married again,' Jessica commented.
"As long as he's a decent guy; he certainly can't be any worse than dad."
"I hope not,' I said. "I just don't want to see things go bad again!"
"It's just a wait-and-see thing, okay?" Jessica told me. "You can't look
back on the past like that. Let's get to bed, it's late."
All I could do was to lie there in bed with more feelings of uncertainty.
I clutched onto Whitey, hoping to get more reassurance from him that everything
was going to be okay. I could hear him telling me to go to sleep and everything
would be okay. I was just glad to have him to comfort me.
Just as I expected, I was wet again the next morning. I knew it would
happen since I drank ice water and pop shortly before going to bed the night
before. I was getting to where I no longer had to concern myself with what I
drank before bedtime or how much or at what time. Wearing diapers gave me the
freedom to do drink as I please. They also eliminated the worry of getting to a
toilet on time whenever I was not wearing a diaper. It was too much stress and
worry whenever I felt the need to go to the bathroom and a toilet wasn't
immediately accessible.
I was growing more and more fond of the idea of wearing diapers full-time.
I knew that I shouldn't be having to wear them at all, but after I became aware
of what they did for me while I was in bed, I knew that I would be better off
wearing them in the daytime as well. I wanted the security of knowing that I
would not have to ever worry about having an embarrassing accident again.
When I weighed the pros and cons, the cons being that others may see me
wearing them, I decided that I would rather be wearing diapers full-time. I
figured that I would get used to them enough that I wouldn't think much of it
when I wore them in public. I sat in wet diapers during an hour's worth of
cartoons before Jessica changed me. As she handed me my underpants I asked her
to stop.
"Yeah, what, Brian?"
I wasn't sure how to say it, but I wanted her to put another diaper on me.
"Do you think I should wear a diaper instead?"
"I'll put one on you if you want, why?"
"I might have another wetting accident."
"Are you going anywhere?" she asked me.
"I might. I might just go outside or something."
"Since you asked..."
She had me get back up on the bed so that she could put me in diapers
again. I felt the thick layers go into place as she topped them off with my
plastic pants.
As this was Saturday and that mom was home from work she spent the morning
getting the apartment cleaned up. Jessica and I ended up spending the morning
helping mom with the chores. I was mostly given the job of doing my laundry,
which consisted mostly of my diapers. I also had my shirts and shorts to wash,
and since both pairs of my shorts were in the wash, I had no choice but to go
around wearing just my diapers and a shirt for the next two hours. Mom asked me
why I was still in my diapers so late into the morning.
"I had Jessica put another one on me."
"Oh? Do you just want to go around in your diapers all the time now?"
"It'd be better than having an accident like I did the other day."
"If it makes you feel better, Brian, then I guess we'll have you wear them
all the time now. I'm surprised you would want to wear them all the time,
though. I know how you weren't too fond of the idea when I got them."
"They're not so bad, mom, really. I've sort of gotten used to them."
"And you don't mind that other people may see you wearing them?"
"Mindi saw me wearing them last night, she was pretty cool about it."
"Not all people are like Mindi, you know. I just hope you won't want to
wear them to school."
"I don't think I could do that,' I said.
"My only concern is that you'll lose what control you do have of your
bladder if you keep wearing diapers."
"I'll be okay, mom."
"You also realize that you'll also have to do the other thing in your
diapers, too, if you're wearing them all the time".
"You mean...poop in them?" I asked mom shyly.
"Yes, that's what I mean, and it's very messy and smelly, you realize."
"Are you saying I shouldn't wear them, except to bed, that is?"
"No, I didn't say that, Brian, it just surprises me that suddenly you want
to wear them. Is there something you like about wearing them?"
I wasn't sure how to answer this question. If I answered it honestly, mom
might wonder if there was something mentally wrong with me, aside from the fact
that living with dad messed me up. On the other hand, she may decide to let me
stay in diapers all the time, which sounded good to me, though I still didn't
understand why I was so drawn to the idea.
If I were to answer negatively, which would also be lying, mom may decide
not to have me wear diapers except for bed time only. I would also have to deal
with wanting to wear them when I couldn't. I decided that my honest answer was
best here.
"Yes, mom,' is all I said.
"What?"
"I just kind of like how they feel, and how they look on me, they kind of
make me feel like...a baby again."
"Do you want to feel like a baby again?" mom asked me.
This was an even harder question. What would a yes answer result in? I had
come this far in opening up and telling mom my feelings.
"Yes, I do."
"Why?"
"I never got to be a child around dad, so I want to start over."
"Start over? What do you mean, Brian?"
"I mean that dad never treated me right and I wish I could go back and
grow up again with you this time." I started crying again as I thought back
again to those horrible times with dad.
"Brian, please calm down, sweetie,' mom said as she comforted me.
"You cannot change the past, Brian. I wish I could start over, too, go
back and re-do the things that I regret now. I wouldn't have married your
father, but then, I wouldn't have had you as my child. You know what I mean. I
wish I could have had you and Jessica, as my same children, but with a better
man. I'm hoping that maybe I'll find someone who can better serve as my husband,
so there are ways of starting over. I'm looking towards my future and making the
best of it that I can."
"So can I start over, too?" I asked.
"You mean, you want to go back to being treated like a baby and having me
raise you again? You're already nine years old, Brian. Some things can't be
started over."
"Can I at least wear diapers, that is, so I kind of feel like I'm starting
over, like I'm a baby?"
"If it makes you feel better, if it makes you feel like you're starting
over, then wear them, whatever is best for you, Brian. I just don't know if
Jessica I can get used to changing you and cleaning you all day every day."
Jessica had been drowning us out until she heard her name mentioned.
"What, mom?" she asked.
"Would you mind having to change Brian several times a day if he just
stays in diapers?"
"No, it doesn't bother me,' she answered. He should probably be wearing
them all the time, anyway. The risk of an accident is too great for him not to
be wearing them."
"Okay, Brian, diapers it is,' mom concluded.
Jessica also contributed her share of the work, though she was in the
kitchen the whole time helping mom. As I folded my diapers I enjoyed feeling the
way their softness and fluffiness was restored after they were washed and dried.
I also enjoyed the smell they had right out of the dryer. I felt embarrassed
when Jessica walked in and saw me feeling them and smelling them.
"Are they not clean?" she asked. "You keep smelling them."
"Yeah, they're clean. I'm just making sure,' I replied sheepishly.
"It looked like you making sure they were soft, too,' she added.
I decided that I'd better not get so carried away with handling my
diapers. Besides, I needed to get the work done so I could play for the rest of
the day.
By the time I had finished up my work my shorts were dry. I tried putting
a pair of them on. The ones that were also my swimming trunks did not fit over
the thick layers of diapers at all. I tried my other pair and while the fit was
better, they still did not go up over the diapers without leaving the top half
of them exposed.
There was only one other thing I could do. Jessica was bigger than I was,
so I figured her shorts might fit. I asked her if she had any that were not too
girlish.
"I've got some gym shorts from P.E. you could wear,' she suggested. I had
see her wearing them before. They were rather baggy and loose- fitting on her,
and she was bigger around the middle than I was, that is if I weren't wearing
diapers. She went over to the drawer and pulled out the shorts and handed them
to me. It turned out that they did fit nicely with enough tightness to hold them
into place. I still had trouble getting them to cover the top of my diapers as
they went up so high on me as it was. The shorts certainly weren't loose or
baggy-looking on me either, but rather, they were stretched by the bulk of my
diapers.
I was hesitant to go outside with diapers on underneath my shorts. The
bulge stood out rather conspicuously. I decided that if I was to wear diapers
all the time then I had to get used to wearing them in different settings.
I walked outside and went out back to where the creek ran. I went along
the trail for about a couple hundred feet or so. As I looked down to the bank I
saw a lone boy sitting there on the sand, tossing pebbles into the flowing
water. He noticed my presence and turned around.
He stared for a moment. I stared for a moment. He then said "hi."
"Hi,' I said back.
There was a short period of silence. I waited for him to say some- thing.
"What's your name?" the boy asked.
"Brian, what's yours?"
"Tommy. What grade are you in?"
"I'm going to be in fourth grade next year,' I replied.
"Me, too. Say, do you live around here?"
"Yeah, just back in those apartments,' I pointed.
"We do, too. We just moved in at the beginning of summer."
"So did I,' I said. Having realized that I mentioned that I was the only
one that moved in, I said "I mean, *we* moved in, my mom and my sister."
I could sense the ice being broken, so I went down to the bank and sat
next to him.
"Where did you live before?" he asked.
"I lived in Rockland, but uh...my dad and mom got divorced."
I didn't want to go into all of the details regarding the reason I
actually moved.
"Where did you get those shorts?" he asked. "They say `Wildwood Junior
High'. I thought you said you moved from Rockland."
"These are my uh...my cousin's, he lives here,' I lied. This kid was very
keen to point out so quickly that the shorts originated from here, the town of
Wildwood. I began to worry that he might notice that I was wearing diapers. I
made sure to stay to his side. I was unable to close my legs enough to conceal
the diapers that showed at the leg openings of my shorts.
After we exchanged a few minutes' worth of small talk we established a
friendship. As we walked back to the apartments I tried to stay behind Tommy so
he wouldn't see me wearing diapers.
"Let's go to my place,' he said.
"I'll go ask my mom,' I told him.
"Okay. Maybe I can go meet her and your sister,' he said.
As we walked in I saw a stack of diapers sitting on top of the dresser
drawer! I thought back and remembered setting them there, forgetting to put them
away! Had Tommy been looking in that part of the room he would have definitely
noticed them! I just had to hope he didn't! I didn't know whether to quickly
stash them back in the drawer-- which would have drawn more attention to them--
or just leave them there and hope Tommy wouldn't notice.
I took Tommy into the kitchen and introduced him to my mom and my sister.
"Hi, mom, this is Tommy,' I said.
"Hi, I'm Jolene, Brian's mom, pleased to meet you, Tommy."
I pointed over to Jessica, who was pulling her clothes out of the dryer.
"That's my sister, Jessica,' I said.
"Oh, hi,' she said as she stopped and looked up.
"I'm Tommy,' he said.
"Nice to meet you, Tommy,' Jessica welcomed him as she shook his hand.
"I want to go to Tommy's house,' I told mom. "Can I?"
"Where does he live?"
"I'm in the apartments across the lot,' he said.
"Okay. Don't spend all day over there,' mom said.
We walked across the parking lot and went into Tommy's apartment. Like
ours, it was just as small and cluttered.
"Do you have any brothers or sisters?" I asked him.
"No, just me and my mom live here,' he said. "We have to share the
bedroom. Do you have your own room?" he asked.
"No, I have to share, too."
"With who? Your mom, your sister?"
"My mom,' I said. I didn't want to tell him that I really had to share the
bed with my sister. I started to notice that Tommy was a tad on the nosy side
and asked a lot of questions. This, combined with his keen observations, meant
that he might find out that I wear diapers. Still, he seemed like a nice kid.
"Let's play a game,' he suggested.
"Okay, what games do you have?"
"What can you play?" he asked me.
"Let's see, I can play checkers, Monopoly, uh, I can play some card games
like five-card draw and go fish and..."
"Do you play any video games?"
"No. I never had any money."
"What about Nintendo?"
"A friend of mine had an Atari, but that's it."
"I've got Super Nintendo. Let's go play!" he said.
He got the system up and running. He introduced me to some of the games he
had. After showing me how they were played he handed the controller to me and
let me try some of them out.
"This is fun!" I remarked. "I wish we had one."
"You can always come over here and play,' he offered kindly.
About ten minutes later, after I stopped and returned the control to
Tommy, I felt that my shirt had ridden up and that my shorts had gone south a
little, thereby exposing a good-sized portion of my diapers. It felt as if there
was this two- or three-inch strip of soft, white, fluffy fabric showing between
my shorts and my shirt. The bright white of the diapers must have contrasted
sharply against my dark blue shirt and the black shorts. The thick layers of
material and the plastic pants with several creases in them were distinctly
different than what it would have looked like if I had just been wearing
underwear that was showing.
Tommy hadn't said anything about me wearing diapers. Whether or not he was
alluding to me wearing diapers, he told me where the bathroom was located in his
apartment.
"I know,' I said. "It's in the same place in our apartment."
"When does your mom get home?" I asked.
"She'll be at work until 7:00."
"She works weekends?"
"Yeah. She'd like to have them off so she doesn't worry about leaving me
here alone. Mom likes the job and she says it pays her enough, so she won't
quit,' he added.
While I stayed at Tommy's for about another hour I needed to go to the
bathroom. I felt awkward about using the diaper, being in his apartment, but I
figured he wouldn't know whether or not I had used it, unless the diaper were to
leak. My only other option would have been to go into his bathroom and take the
diaper off and then out it back on again. It wouldn't have been worth the
trouble of undoing the diaper, I decided, and since I was wearing a diaper as it
was, there was no justifiable reason for me to take it off.
I waited until the pressure in my bladder built up a little before letting
it all out. I tried to be as inconspicuous about it as possible. I didn't want
my facial expressions to give any kind of indication of what I was doing. While
Tommy was in the middle of a game I sat back for a moment and peed into the
diaper. I could feel the warm liquid filling up the front of the diaper. The
wetness spread around and soaked every thirsty layer of the diaper. I was in
need of a change.
"I'd better get going,' I said.
"Don't you want to finish your game?" he asked me.
"Okay, but my mom told me not to stay long."
I tried not to make it look obvious that I was in a hurry, but I played
somewhat carelessly to hurry the game along. By the time my turn was over, I got
up and said "I gotta go. It was fun."
"Come by tomorrow, maybe we can do something then,' he offered.
As I got back home I asked for a diaper change. I had mom change me this
time.
"How was your stay at Tommy's house?" mom asked me while changing me.
"It was pretty cool,' I said. "They have a video game system! Can we get
one?"
"Not now, Brian,' mom shook her head. "I can't afford it."
"When can we get one?"
"I don't know. I'd be more concerned about getting a bed of your own if I
were you,' mom told me. "Which is more important?"
"Probably the bed,' I answered. "Am I getting my own bed?"
"You will someday, Brian. You're sleeping okay now, aren't you?"
"Yeah, though Jessica moves around a lot,' I said.
"You do too, Brian,' Jessica rebutted.
"I do not!"
"You do, too,' she argued back.
"Kids, please!" mom intervened. "You two have been getting along so well."
"I hope he gets his own bed soon,' Jessica commented.
"As soon as I can get one, I will,' mom told us. "You two will just have
to share until then."
Just as mom was finishing up, I looked at her and asked her a question.
"Will I still be wearing diapers after I do get my own bed?"
"Yes, Brian, you probably will. I don't think we could stop you from
wearing them at this point anyway."
BRIAN THE BEDWETTER: PART 9
---------------------------
The next few days were all about the same. After I had told my mom that I
wanted to wear the diapers full-time, that's just what I got. I was still free
to use the toilet if I wanted to, but after I had been diapered it wasn't worth
the trouble of removing it to use the toilet, so I just kept the diapers on and
had them changed as necessary. It made me feel less responsible since I had
others taking care of me and treating me like I was just a baby or a toddler.
I had gotten to know Tommy a little more over these few days, and I
figured that by now he had to have seen my diapers showing over my shorts
several times. I didn't know why he hadn't said anything about it, but I almost
wished that he did, just so I knew that he acknowledged it. It would have made
me more comfortable to know that he knew. Maybe he just felt that I was very
sensitive about wearing diapers and was polite enough to say nothing about it.
I usually went over to his place since there were more things to do there.
His mom also made more wholesome meals as I had been invited to dinner at his
place a couple of times. If his mom had seen me wearing diapers underneath my
shorts, she hadn't yet said anything, either.
His mom was actually quite compassionate and could tell that I had been
through some troubled times before, so she was always very kind and generous.
She never asked me any direct questions about my past, which was just as well
since I hated to think about it.
It was about two weeks before I decided to invite Tommy over to my side of
the apartment complex. I felt a bit nervous when I invited him over. There was
always some sort of a mess, usually a pile of Jessica's clothes on the floor and
the kitchen was always cluttered. There was plenty of evidence that somebody in
my apartment wore diapers, too. The baby powder was left in its usual place on
the dresser along with the little plastic box that contained the pins. Because
my diapers took up so much room in the drawers, they were always sticking out of
the drawer that was always open partially. The smell of the powder was ever-
present, which was a lot better than the smell of my diapers after they had been
used. Usually there would be one or two clean diapers sitting out in the open
along with a pair of my plastic pants.
I didn't realize how much of this evidence there was around the house
until I paid more attention to its presence. With Tommy there, I went around the
apartment and I subtly hid the things that I could without drawing too much
attention to them. There was a pair of plastic pants on the floor that I hid by
using my foot to pick up one of Jessica's shirts and laying it over the plastic
pants.
I didn't want Tommy to notice that the bed out in the front room was
Jessica's and that I had to share it with her. I had told Tommy that I shared
the bed with mom, but when he saw that my teddy bear and what he assumed to be
my other belongings were around the bed in the front room he figured out that it
was the bed I slept in.
"This is your bed?" he asked me. "It looks kind of a girls' bed."
"It is, it's my bed,' Jessica answered. "Brian and I have to share for
now."
"What? I thought you said you shared your mom's bed. You have to share the
bed with your sister?"
"Yeah, until I get one of my own,' I said. "I just didn't want to tell you
that I...that I slept in the same bed as my sister."
"I'd be afraid to tell people that, Brian, I understand. I also don't tell
anyone that I wore diapers until I was seven years old!"
I was totally taken aback when he said that! He just mentioned it so
quickly and so openly!
"You wore diapers until you were seven?" I asked him.
"Yeah, when I saw that you wore them, I knew that I could trust you enough
to tell you. You're the first person I have ever told."
"I was afraid you'd find out that I wore them,' I said to him. "You
probably saw me wearing them that first day I was over at your house."
"I knew you were wearing them when you sat down with me by the creek. They
are pretty thick on you, you know. I know the sound of plastic pants, too,
believe me."
Of course I was wearing diapers when this discussion came up. I asked
Tommy if he still wore them.
"Not since I stopped wetting the bed."
"What was it like wearing them?" I asked him. I knew it was a rather
personal question, but we did have this one thing on common, as it turned out.
At least we did at one time before we had met.
"I just had to wear them to bed. My mom didn't make a big deal out of it.
She just put them on me every night and then changed me in the morning, kind of
like I was still a baby." He was hinting a smile when he said that.
He was open about discussing it, so I continued with a few other
questions. I just wanted to know if he found that wearing diapers brought him
any sort of pleasure like they did for me. Mainly, I wanted to find out if he
felt any regressive feelings and had such tendencies like I did.
"Did you mind wearing them?" I asked.
"No, not as long as nobody came over. I never went to sleepovers or
anything like that. I wouldn't have worn them outside of the house like you do,
that's for sure."
"I have to wear them all the time,' I told him, not making too much of a
big deal out of it, even though I felt better wearing them than not wearing
them.
"Oh.,' he said, then paused as if he wanted to ask me something else.
Instead he turned his head and gazed at the wall.
He didn't ask me any more questions about my diapers and changed the
subject altogether. Again, I think he was being cautious about approaching such
topics. He did ask a lot of questions about other things, but matters like
wearing diapers he didn't delve into too much. Perhaps it was because of his
background that he didn't wish to wear them, or, if he did, he felt too
inhibited to share them.
"Say, maybe you could sleep over tonight,' he offered.
"Sleep over?" I asked.
"You'd be the first guest I've ever had,' he added.
"I've never slept over at anyone else's house, either."
"This would be a first for both of us, then."
"I'll have to think about it."
"Okay. We'll have lots of fun! I've got a lot of other games that haven't
even shown you yet!"
"Well, okay, I'll ask my mom this afternoon."
"I'll call my mom at work,' he said.
After he hung up he said, "you can stay over! We're even having a special
dinner,' he added.
Tommy went home shortly afterwards. I wasn't sure if I wanted to stay
overnight at someone else's house since I wore diapers, even if the others knew
that I did and I trusted them in knowing. Since Tommy and his mom had to share a
bedroom I wasn't sure where I would be sleeping, either.
I asked Jessica if Mindi had ever slept over.
"Yeah, all the time. She has to share my bed just like you do, but I'll
probably have to go to her place from now on, until you get your own bed, that
is. Why do you ask?"
"I was just wondering."
"Do you plan to invite Tommy over here?"
"No, I was going to go to his place and stay there. I just don't know if I
should."
"Is it because of the diapers?"
"Yeah."
"He lives just across the parking lot, right?"
"Yeah."
"I can come over and check on you just before you go to bed, or mom can do
it if she doesn't mind."
"What?!" I exclaimed. "Change me in front of Tommy and his mom?!"
"Either that, or I can just diaper you before you go over there."
"Let's do that, then,' I agreed. "But there's one other thing."
"What's that, Brian?"
"I'd want to take Whitey over there. I don't know what Tommy would think."
"Maybe he has teddy bears, lots of nine-year-olds still do, you know. You
trust him enough for him to know you wear diapers, so you should trust him
enough to know that you like to take your teddy bear to bed. It's up to you if
you want to stay over there, and if you need me or mom to come over to change
you, we'll do that, too."
After thinking about it I decided to ask mom if it was okay to stay over
there tonight.
"That would be okay,' mom said, "but who's going to change you?"
"Jessica said she would change me before I left, or you could do it, mom."
"If you think you'll get through the night okay, then go ahead. You can
always call if you need to come back over. I'm going out again tonight, so
you'll have to have Jessica do it. Just come over with Tommy if you need to be
changed."
"Why does he have to come with me? To watched me get changed?"
"I don't want any of you walking outside alone at night,' mom explained.
"It's just across the parking lot, and besides, it's lit up,' I said.
"I know, but it's just not a good idea to walk outside at night alone. I
worry about you kids enough as it is when you're out walking in broad daylight!
Jessica has all the stuff here and she'd have to carry clean diapers, the
powder, the pins, and then carry the dirty diapers back! Just come over here if
you need to, okay?"
"That's fine, I can just walk over here if I really need to, I guess."
"You *and* Tommy, right?"
"Yes, mom, me and Tommy."
"What time are you going over?"
"Probably 8:00 because his mom won't get home and have dinner ready until
then. She has to work until 7:00."
"Okay. I should have dinner ready here before 6:00, so it's up to you to
eat here or over there."
"His mom said she's fixing a special dinner. Maybe Jessica could come over
and have dinner with us so you don't have to cook tonight,' I suggested.
"Cook?" mom chuckled. "Cook? We were just having microwave meals anyway,
and maybe some beans, why don't you see about having dinner over there, too,
Jessica."
"Sure, that's sounds fine,' Jessica agreed.
"I'll see what Tommy says,' I said as I went out the door and across the
lot to Tommy's apartment.
"Hi, Brian,' he greeted me.
"Hi. Guess what? I can stay over!"
I was all excited having my first sleepover ever. I still kept thinking
about what Tommy's mom would think when she saw me in just my diapers. If Tommy
had worn them until he was seven I figured his mom would probably not think much
about it. I also had one other question to settle.
"Where am I going to sleep?"
"We have a couple of cots. We can sleep out here in the living room."
That was acceptable. At least I would have my very own bed for once, or
cot, whatever.
"Would it be okay if Jessica came over for dinner?" I asked him.
"I'm sure my mom wouldn't mind, so yeah, go ahead and have her come over."
I went back home and told Jessica that she was welcome to go over with me
to Tommy's apartment for dinner. It was about 6:30 when mom started getting
ready for another date.
"You kids be good while I'm gone,' she said as she was headed out the
door. "I don't expect to be too late, Jessica, so don't worry about me, okay?"
Mom gave us each a goodbye kiss before she left. At about 7:30 Jessica
asked me if I needed to go to the bathroom.
"I just did,' I replied. "Why?"
"Do you need to go again?"
"Probably not for awhile."
"Do you need to poop?"
I couldn't feel anything being "processed,' and I grunted as I tried
forcing out any bowel movement I may have in development. There was nothing I
could detect. I said, "no, I don't."
"If you have to poop later you'll need to come over so I can change you,
so if you have to go now, do it."
"I said I'm okay,' I told her.
"Okay, let's get you changed now."
Jessica told me to get up on the bed for my diaper change. As I had
already wet, I was in need of a change anyway. She folded some extra diapers
together and stuffed them all underneath me before pinning them up.
"I need to night-diaper you now, and since you're going to be wearing it
longer I might as well make it extra thick so it'll be really absorbent."
After she got the diapers and plastic pants on me she asked me, "do you
think you can go a whole night like that?"
"If I don't I'll call,' I said.
"They ought to hold for at least a night, you usually don't require any
more changes here at our place, so you should be okay over there."
It was about 8:00 when I grabbed Jessica's gym shorts and slipped them on
over the extra-thick bulging diapers. Jessica had more or less given me her gym
shorts since I wore them more than she did and they were the only things anyone
in the house had that would fit over my diapers.
Before I left I grabbed Whitey. I felt a little embarrassed to be carrying
him, but he was my teddy bear, my friend, my comforter! He would have definitely
missed me if I had left him home! I abandoned my inhibitions from taking him and
picked him up. I knew he was happy to see me revert to my toddler-like ways. I
did stuff him under my shirt so the other kids playing in the lot didn't see me
carrying him. They were just passing a football back and forth, minding their
own business, but I still didn't want them to see me carrying a teddy bear.
As we walked into Tommy's apartment we were drawn to the delicious aroma
of fried chicken. I carried Whitey over to their couch and set him down.
"Oh, hi, Brian,' Tommy's mom greeted me. She hadn't yet met Jessica. "And
you're Brian's sister?"
"Yes, I'm Jessica, pleased to meet you. What should I call you?"
"Oh, just call me Lana, or even `mom' works,' she chuckled. "I understand
you're joining us for dinner?"
"Uh, yes, if that's okay with you, Lana,' Jessica said shyly.
"Sure, have all you want. We'd probably just have it as leftovers tomorrow
night, anyway if you weren't here to help us eat it."
"Thank you, Lana,' Jessica said politely. "I appreciate the invitation."
"Oh, you're quite welcome. Go ahead and have a seat. I'll have it ready
here in just a minute."
We got ready to eat dinner after Tommy was asked to give the blessing.
Only at my grandparents' place did I ever see anyone say grace before a meal.
Dad certainly didn't say grace, and mom didn't do it very much, either.
We had fried chicken, corn, mashed potatoes, and milk, quite a treat for
us since mom wasn't always able to cook such meals for us. I asked Tommy if his
mom always cooked like this, but he told me again that his mom was just making a
special dinner since this was Tommy's first time of having an overnight guest
and she just wanted it to go well for him. He normally got about the same stuff
I got for dinner every night, however, as I found out.
Just when I was finishing up my plate I felt the hint of a bowel movement
churning inside of me. Just a few hours ago when Jessica asked me if I needed to
poop I felt okay. Now I was going to eventually have to release it into my
diapers and then have to walk over to my apartment and have Jessica change me.
A part of me wanted to leave the diaper on and have Jessica change me when
I messed it, but another part of me was telling me that I should try to avoid
having her change me and that I should remove the diaper and use the toilet
instead. Did I want the attention and the general regressive feeling of being a
little boy in his messy diapers, or would I be better off avoiding having to
walk over to my apartment in a messy diaper? She did tell me to come over there
if I needed to be changed later on, so I decided to leave the diaper on and make
use of it like it was intended for. My regressive tendencies had a way of
beating out my other feelings even after I weighed the possible consequences of
regressing.
Before Jessica left I asked her how late she would stay up over there
since I would be coming over later to get changed.
"Probably after midnight. Mindi might stay over since you're over here
tonight."
"Oh, okay."
Jessica left just a few minutes after she finished up her meal. Tommy and
I walked over to the couch and sat down to watch the last segment of a show that
was on. As Tommy sat down he saw my teddy bear Whitey staring him in the face
with his sweet smile and opened arms, as if he was always asking to be held.
"Is this yours, Brian?" he asked me as I handed it over.
"Uh, yes, it is,' I answered shyly. "I've had him all my life and I've
always slept with him." I more or less did have him all my life, just that there
was a seven-year period in between that he and I were apart.
"I used to take my teddy bears to bed until I was eight. Then I thought it
was too babyish, so I stopped. There was a kid at school who took his teddy bear
with him and everybody laughed at him, and this was in the second grade."
I felt embarrassed now, since Tommy attributed going to bed with a teddy
bear to be a baby-like characteristic. He was pretty cool about the fact that I
wore diapers, but now that he knew I also like to sleep with a teddy bear, he
may think differently of me.
It seemed like Tommy had similar experiences to mine, but he "outgrew"
them. He wore diapers until he was seven and he stopped taking his teddy bears
to bed when he was eight. I asked him why he stopped wearing diapers.
"Because I stopped wetting the bed, and I also felt that the diapers were
too babyish, too."
Now I felt defensive.
"Do you think I'm, uh, babyish, because I wear diapers, and because I, I
sleep with my teddy bear?"
"Yeah,' he said. "I do, but we're all different."
I wasn't sure what to say next.
"Does it bother you?"
"Bother me? No, of course not. That kid that brought his teddy bear to
school was my best friend, in fact. He didn't wear diapers, as far as I know,
but it wouldn't have surprised me if he did when I wasn't around."
"Is he still around?"
"I don't know. He really missed me when I moved and I think I was the only
friend he had that he could trust."
"So I can trust you?"
"Of course, Brian. That's what friends are for."
We shook hands to reaffirm the friendship and then played games on his
Super Nintendo game system. He also had a Game Boy, which I had never seen, He
let me play with it for awhile. Much of the evening was spent playing games,
watching movies, and just sitting around and talking about boy's stuff, which I
had never really done with anyone before. I was a little bit skeptical of Tommy
and all the questions he asked me at first, but now I was getting to know him
well enough to trust him and to be open with him. I really enjoyed talking with
him. I looked forward to having him as my best friend.
BRIAN THE BEDWETTER: PART 10
----------------------------
As the evening passed on I felt the tension in my bowels building and
increasing. It reached a point where it was ready to come out. Had I not been
wearing diapers I would have been able to close my legs and hold it back, but I
discovered that wearing a diaper makes it harder to do this, so I had to let it
out straight into the diaper. I was in the middle of looking at Tommy's MAD
magazines when I needed to release it. Oddly enough, I was reading some corny
article that mentioned diarrhea when the need to release it became too great to
hold back. Maybe it was the power of suggestion in the magazine that did it.
I could only sit there and act like nothing had happened for so long. The
squishy mess underneath me was too much to ignore. No matter what I did, I would
feel it wedged between the heavy diaper layers and my butt, having little room
to go anywhere beyond the tight constraints of the diaper. I knew the foul odor
from my messy diaper had filled the immediate area of the room we were sitting
in.
"I need to go back to my place,' I told him.
"Okay, go ahead,' he said.
"You need to come with me. My mom insisted that you do, so I don't get
mugged. She's really protective, you know."
"Okay, let me go tell my mom."
Tommy went into his mom's room where she was sitting up in her bed
watching TV, which she preferred to do in the evening.
"We're going over to Brian's really quick."
"Okay,' she approved, "but come right back. It's getting late."
We walked across the lot, making the perilous journey of maybe 200 or 300
feet, avoiding muggers, drug dealers and all the other trouble- makers that my
mom feared we would run into which, of course, we didn't. There were some older
kids out on their roller blades, but they were minding their own business.
As we got back to my place Mindi answered the door,
"Oh, hi Brian and-- who's this?"
"This is my friend, Tommy,' I introduced him. "Tommy, this is Mindi,
Jessica's best friend."
"Pleased to meet you, Tommy,' she smiled, baring her braces.
"Where's Jessica?" I asked.
"She's in the bathroom, she'll be right out."
As I sat down on the bed I felt the mess press up against my bottom and
spread its way around where it had room to go, much of which was between my
buttocks. Some of it also spread up into the center of my crotch. I knew Jessica
would really like the mess I made for her to clean.
Jessica came out of the bathroom and knew what I had come over for.
"I'll go in the other room, Brian,' Mindi said.
I was glad that she respected my privacy, especially since I knew that
once Jessica took those diapers off she would reveal to everyone that were to
see a big, brown, sticky, stinky mess. Tommy was still sitting there on the bed
when Jessica walked over to the drawers and pulled out the diapers.
"You'll need to move, Tommy,' Jessica told him politely.
"What? Are you changing his diaper?"
"Yes, I am; you want to be next?"
Tommy just sat there for a moment, obviously not having expected Jessica
to say such a thing. She then lightly jostled his forearm and said, "I'm
kidding!"
"I'll go in the other room and wait with uh...what's her name again?"
"Mindi,' Jessica reminded him.
Tommy went into the other room and waited there with Mindi while Jessica
took care of my messy diaper. I must have really smelled as Jessica winced at
the odor wafting up into her face. She wiped me up and got me back into some
clean diapers again. I pulled the shorts back on and told Tommy I was ready to
go back over to his place.
Tommy and I sat around and played games awhile before going to bed on our
cots. Tommy stripped to his underpants right in the front room with the drapes
wide open. I walked over to the window and shut them before I stripped to my
diapers. Tommy's mom came out from her bedroom a few minutes later and gave us
permission to stay up a little while and talk as long as we kept it quiet. We
were up for probably another hour before she came out again and told us to quiet
it down as we were giggling and making bathroom jokes, quite ironic as I didn't
use bathrooms too much anymore.
As I dropped off to sleep I reached behind me to grab Whitey as he was on
the couch right behind me. I clutched onto him, knowing that I was the only one
that knew I was holding onto my teddy bear as a two-year-old would do. I was
pushing things just to be wearing diapers in front of Tommy and his mom, so I
didn't want them to know how I "conversed" with Whitey.
As I woke up the next morning I felt the familiar wet padding wedged
between my legs. I knew it would be a little while before I would get changed.
It wasn't until later that morning that I realized that I had done something
that I never thought I would do, spend the night at a friend's house, and *in
diapers!* The fact that I wore diapers really wasn't significant to my overnight
stay other than for going back to my place to get changed. Tommy was cool about
it as was his mom since they had both been through it themselves.
About an hour later I got dressed and went back to my place to have
Jessica change me. Jessica and Mindi were still romping around in their pajamas.
Mom had already left for work.
"Do you need to be changed?" was Jessica's first question as I went inside
our apartment. I just nodded my head. Mindi got up and went into the other room,
demonstrating her respect for my privacy, which I appreciated. I expected Tommy
to get up and leave the room, but he stayed and watched the cartoon on TV. I
didn't really want him to be sitting on the bed watching TV with Jessica
changing my diaper right behind him. At the same time, I didn't want to just
tell him to leave the room. Since he was more focused on the TV, and that he was
a boy, too, I felt there wasn't really a problem having him there in the room.
He wasn't paying any attention to me, or at least I didn't think he was. I
figured if he saw me getting changed, he had been through it himself so it
probably wasn't any big deal to him. I was only wet this time so I didn't expect
any strong odors to get his attention. Jessica had me back in clean, dry diapers
and crisp, crackling plastic pants in just a couple of minutes.
Tommy and I spent the morning playing basketball in the parking lot of the
apartment complex and walking around its vicinity. We later went along the
creek, walking to the railroad tracks and back. On the way back we stopped at
the place where Tommy and I met.
As we sat there and tossed rocks into the water I got thinking about the
possibility that Tommy would return to wearing diapers. I wished that he were
still wearing them, that way I wouldn't be the only one in diapers. He wore them
until he was seven, which was a better diaper-wearing record than most kids
have, but I wasn't satisfied with that. The more I thought about it, the better
it sounded. I was getting to where I didn't mind wearing them, and knowing that
someone else besides me would wear them made me accept my condition even better.
I asked him if he was at all tempted to try out wearing my diapers last
night. At first he said no, but I could tell he didn't quite mean it.
"I went through enough of that until I was seven,' he replied. "Seeing you
wear them reminded me of it, and all that, but I don't know if I would want to
go through that again."
"What didn't you like about it?"
"I couldn't stay at friend's houses, I was afraid that the kids at school
would find out, I just, just didn't want anyone to know. My mom was cool about
it and she didn't make a big deal out of it, but I just knew that I shouldn't be
wearing them."
I decided not to push the issue any farther at that point. The last thing
I wanted to do was to ruin our friendship over something such as diapers. Maybe
Tommy really wasn't ready to go back to wearing them. It was his choice, and I
couldn't make him wear them if he didn't want to. The thought of it was nice,
though.
It was about a couple weeks before Tommy and I had an overnight stay with
each other again. This time Tommy stayed at my place. He had brought his own cot
over to sleep on. As usual we didn't have much to offer in the way of dinner--
hot dogs, potato chips and vegetable soup-- but to us that was good enough.
Jessica jokingly offered a diaper to Tommy after she changed me that
evening, but he declined, probably out of embarrassment more than anything else.
I wish he would have taken the opportunity. Maybe he just didn't want Jessica to
change him, which he may have been thinking what would happen.
Later that evening Tommy got up and went into the bathroom rather
abruptly. His brief absence gave me an opportunity to talk to Jessica.
"Why did you offer Tommy a diaper?" I asked.
"I was just kidding with him, Brian, why?"
"You're always kidding with him about that,' I said.
"Do you want me to stop kidding him like that?"
"Well, you might end up encouraging him,' I said.
Jessica smiled and said "if I do that, then you would have a buddy that's
just like you, diapers and all." As it has been some time since I was put into
diapers, Jessica was started to have some fun with it now. "I think that would
be cute!" she giggled.
It was odd that she seemed to pick up on my feelings like that. Girls were
smart, as I was convinced by Jessica's uncanny ability to sense my thinking.
Since I didn't know how long Tommy would be in the bathroom I had to explain
things to Jessica rather hastily.
"Actually, you're right, Jess, I was sort of thinking that. If Tommy wore
diapers, I wouldn't be the only one who wears them, so I wish he would have
taken the diaper from you. Were you going to put it on him, too?"
"If he wanted me to, but he probably wouldn't let me do such a thing. If
he doesn't want to wear them, then, well, that's his choice."
Tommy then came out of the bathroom. As he was wearing just his white
underpants, I could see that he didn't wipe himself very thoroughly since there
was a skidmark-actually, more of a brown, wet spot in the seat of his underwear
that I didn't think was there before. While I didn't specifically take note of
what his underwear looked like in the seat before he went into the bathroom, it
seemed to me that the spot hadn't made its appearance until after he left the
bathroom.
It was still an hour before the lights were shut off and we all went to
bed. Just then, Tommy had gotten up again to go to the bathroom. While he was in
there, I heard the unmistakable sound of a large, watery quantity of loose fecal
matter spewing furiously into the toilet bowl. It appeared that Tommy had come
down with a case of diarrhea. Jessica had heard it as well.
"Maybe he should wear a diaper,' she said as she was suppressing a laugh.
I agreed that under the circumstances it may not be such a bad idea.
A couple minutes later Tommy opened the bathroom door, but he stood behind
it and only peaked his head out. He called me over and wanted to tell me
something, just me. I had a pretty good idea of what he needed. I got up from
the bed and walked to the bathroom door to have my somewhat hopeful suspicions
confirmed.
"I think I'm getting the runs,' he said. "I didn't bring any extra
underwear, and...I need some. It's too late to call my mom to have her bring me
some now."
"You can wear some of mine, I still have my underwear."
I then walked over to the drawers and pulled out a clean pair, a pair that
I hadn't worn since I began wearing diapers day and night. I handed it to Tommy,
who graciously accepted it. As he came back out he told me he threw his soiled
underwear into the hamper. Just as he was getting settled into bed I suggested
that maybe he put on three or four pairs so that he could at least have some
extra absorbency in the event of another accident. He was reluctant at first,
but he then agreed that it couldn't hurt him. I got back up and grabbed some
extra underwear for him. He decided to just slip them on right there in the
front room since he was only in his underwear anyway. It occurred to me just
then that mom had mentioned getting me some absorbent underpants that would be
like a combination diaper and brief, but she never did get them, and since I
started wearing regular diapers full-time, she probably didn't see that they
were needed. They would have been perfect for Tommy, but what he had on now
would do for tonight, hopefully.
He got back into his "bed"-- his cot and some blankets-- and shut the
light off. With Jessica there, there wasn't a lot that Tommy and I could talk
about, so we ended up going to sleep sooner than we probably would have had it
been just Tommy and I.
I had trouble sleeping that night. It was too hot, even at night, so that
didn't help, plus the fact that I drank too much cola at too late of an hour, so
the caffeine was keeping me awake.
I heard Tommy tossing and turning around in his bag, so he wasn't getting
to sleep too well, either. The room was silent. Only the hum of the refrigerator
was audible. I thought that if I turned the fan on it would provide some white
noise to break the stillness of the night, and, more importantly, help to cool
me off and circulate the air.
I sat myself up to reach for the fan, when suddenly, the silence was
broken by another sound. Once again it was the sound of diarrhea squirting, only
this time nobody was in the bathroom. It came from Tommy. He had an accident! I
couldn't believe it! I remained sitting up in the bed, wondering what Tommy
would do about this situation! I didn't think he knew I was awake and sitting
up.
"Ahh, shit!" he whispered. "Dammit! Oh, God, what am I gonna do?"
I felt him tug on the bedspread to get my attention.
"Brian?" he whispered.
I pretended to be asleep and waited a few seconds for him to "wake" me up.
He tugged on the bedspread a little harder and called me a little more loudly.
"Brian!"
"Yeah, what?" I bent down and got closer to him.
"I had another accident, a big one, God am I embarrassed!"
"It's okay. Just grab some more underwear out of my drawer and go get
yourself cleaned up."
Jessica had been asleep until now-- unless she was pretending, too.
"What's going on?" she asked. I wasn't sure if I should tell her what
happened right in front of Tommy, but Jessica had figured it out, anyway. She
sniffed the air and said "oh."
I turned on the light. I looked down at Tommy's crotch, which was all
plastered with brown, runny poop. Much of it leaked out of the legbands of his
underwear and had spilled onto the cot. He laid a sheet down on the cot, but his
butt spew had soaked through it and into the canvas of the cot. His mess was
almost pure liquid as it soaked the sheet like he had wet the bed. The spot was
small enough that it could probably be wiped up and if another sheet had been
laid down on it he could still sleep on it.
Tommy started crying as he was so embarrassed by all of this.
"It's only an accident, Tommy,' I tried to reassure him. I knew all too
well what it was like to have an accident in bed and not have anything to
protect me for it.
"I haven't had any accidents until now! Why here? Why now?"
"Look, just get cleaned up. We'll take care of this."
Tommy went to my drawer and pulled out another four or five pairs and went
into the bathroom. Jessica got up and pulled the sheet off of the cot and
carried it over to the washing machine. She examined the wet spot on the cot and
went back into the kitchen to get a wet washcloth. She worked vigorously to rub
out the brown stain, but this only made an even bigger wet spot on his cot,
although it was cleaner now. Jessica shrugged and sighed as she placed her hand
on the wet spot.
"Now I've done it; he may have to climb into bed with us."
"Three of us?"
"Either that or he sleeps on the floor, and the couch is no good."
"Do you trust him to make it through the night? It is your bed, Jessica."
"He'll probably have to wear some of your diapers. That underwear doesn't
look like it will hold so well."
Tommy came out of the bathroom five minutes later wearing the clean
underwear he took in with him. He saw his cot stripped of the blanket and the
sheet, plus the big wet spot that came from trying to clean it.
"Did I do that?" Tommy asked, pointing to his cot.
"It's water,' Jessica said. "I tried to clean it, which I did, but I got
the washcloth too wet, I'm sorry."
"So where will I sleep?" he asked.
"You'll have to sleep with me and Jessica,' I said.
"What? Three of us in one bed?"
"For tonight,' I said, "unless Jessica wants to go into mom's room, but
mom takes up the whole bed."
"I don't know if you've noticed, Brian,' Jessica interrupted, "but mom has
been losing some weight since she started seeing that guy. She told me she's
lost about ten pounds already. She has a long ways to go, but she's getting
there."
I knew mom had a weight problem and I didn't want to sound like I was
making a joke of it, but I was pleased to know that mom was losing weight. For
now, we still had Tommy's problem to resolve.
"What if I have another accident...in your bed, Jessica?" Tommy addressed
this universal concern among the three of us.
"I'm afraid that underwear isn't going to do much good,' Jessica said.
"You'll have to wear one of Brian's diapers tonight."
Tommy just shrugged his shoulders and agreed that this was what it came
down to tonight.
"Can I put it on myself?" he asked.
"I can do it a lot faster,' Jessica said. "Just let me do it, that way I
know it's on you tight and we can all get back to bed."
Tommy looked at me hesitantly.
"Just let her do it,' I told him. "At least I know you won't leak if she
does it."
Jessica was already getting the changing towel laid out along with the
diapers, the powder, and the pins. Tommy knew that he was going to be wearing
diapers tonight, whether or not he really wanted to.
He was reluctant to pull off his underwear, but he wouldn't get to sleep
any sooner if he just stood there, so he pulled the entire set of underpants
down at once, stepping out of the bunched-together briefs and leaving them on
the floor as he lay down on the bed. He knew the routine from his relatively
recent bedwetting days.
Jessica laid several of my thick diapers out and stacked them into a
multi-layered set as she slid them underneath Tommy and drew them tightly up
into his crotch and stretched them over his stomach. She fastened him tightly
into the diapers with three pins on each side. I had already grabbed a pair of
the plastic pants for him and told him he could put them on himself if he
preferred. Just as Jessica secured the last pin she said "it's no different to
change you, Tommy, than it is to change Brian." Tommy got up and slid the
plastic pants over the bulging layers of cotton surrounding his pelvis and
thickly padding him from front to back.
"I didn't think I'd ever wear diapers again,' he said as he stood in front
of the TV, trying to see what he looked like in them by using the screen's
reflection as a makeshift mirror. "And these are so much thicker than the ones I
had to wear."
Because I drank as much cola as I did, my diaper was in need of a change,
too. I asked Jessica to change me since she was already set up for it. She
diapered me up the same way she did Tommy with lots of padding and tight, secure
pinning.
"Well, let's get to bed, it's past 1:30, guys,' Jessica said. "Mom's
probably gonna get up and wonder why we're up now. Good night."
I got into the bed first and then let Tommy get in next to me. I was
sandwiched between them, which would make for a more difficult night. I felt
Jessica's knees pressed up against my padded bottom and there wasn't a lot of
room between me and Tommy.
Just as I asked Tommy to shut off the light I realized that Whitey was
still on the floor. I was hesitant to ask Tommy to grab him for me, but I knew I
wouldn't sleep without him, so I humbly asked Tommy to pick him up and give him
to me. Because we were packed in the bed so tightly, I had to put Whitey behind
my head and set him up against the headboard. What an interesting night this was
turning out to be.
Brian The Bedwetter, Parts 11-18