BRIAN THE BEDWETTER: PART 11 ---------------------------- I was awake by 7:00 the next morning, but I was wedged between Jessica and Tommy, so I couldn't really get out of the bed at that time. My diaper was wet, as I had expected it to be on most mornings. I also had to make a big bowel movement. I was in too awkward of a position to poop right there lying down flat. I wanted to get up anyway, and the only way I could do it was to sit up and crawl to the end of the bed so I wouldn't have to climb over Jessica or Tommy. I sat down in front of the TV and turned it on, keeping the volume way down. I wanted to wait until Jessica was awake before I released my bowel movement so I wouldn't have to sit in it all morning. It was about 7:30 when I felt the pressure building again. I was used to crossing my legs when I needed to delay a bowel movement, but my diapers made it hard to that now. The materials bunched up between my legs were too thick to allow me to squeeze my buttocks together. I ended up releasing the flow of poop into the back of my diaper, and I remained in my messy diaper like that until about 8:00 when mom got up. It was her day off so she was still home at that time. I asked her to change me, which she did. Since the bed was still occupied by Tommy and Jessica, mom took me into her room and changed me there instead. Tommy got out of bed shortly afterwards. He stood up and stretched, then examined the front of his diaper. He told me that he had wet it overnight as well as messed it, though it was only a small amount, he told me. "I wasn't sure whether to wake one of you so you could change me," he said, "and I ended up going to sleep in a poopy diaper." "At least the bed is clean," I said. "I don't know what I would have done without diapers," I told him. "Since it's Jessica's bed, I felt really bad when I wet in it." "I hope Jessica gets up soon to change me." "Maybe my mom can change you," I told him. "Would she?" "Of course, she changed me just a few minutes ago." I went into the kitchen where mom was washing the dishes. "Mom, Tommy needs to be changed too," I told her, forgetting that my mom didn't even know he was wearing a diaper. "Tommy? *He* needs to be changed? Is he wearing diapers, too?" "Jessica diapered him last night because he got diarrhea," I explained. Mom just said, "okay, let me finish these dishes first. Tell him I'll be right in." I went back to Tommy and told him he would get changed in just a few minutes. "Does your mom know why I'm wearing them?" he asked. "Yes, I told her you got diarrhea last night, she just said, 'okay, I'll change him'," so you don't have to tell her why. A few minutes later mom came back into the room and told Tommy to lie down on her bed. "Do you want another diaper put on you?" she asked him. He paused for a moment and said "no, I'll be okay." "Do you have any clean underwear, Tommy?" "No, but I can wear Brian's," he said. Mom grabbed some wipes from the top of the dresser and then a pair of my underpants from my drawer as she followed Tommy into her bedroom. I didn't hear any dialog between them during the change. All I could hear from the front room was the sound of his plastic pants being pulled off. He came back out a few minutes later in the white briefs that mom had given him. I was a little disappointed that he didn't want another diaper put back on him. Maybe he would be like me and decide that he would like wearing them again after wearing them a few times. Tommy and I spent the morning watching cartoons on TV. During the next commercial break I asked him what he thought of wearing a diaper to bed last night. "It wasn't so bad," he said. "I'm glad I had them on." "Did you like wearing them?" "It felt kind of funny wearing them again since I had to wear them until I was seven for bedwetting, kind of like you do now. I never had to wear one for diarrhea." "Do you get diarrhea a lot?" "Sometimes I do, but not all the time, why do you want to know?" "I just was just wondering," I said. "Are you telling me that I should wear diapers again?" "If you did, I wouldn't be the only one who wears them." "Is that why you want me to wear them?" he asked. "My mom would freak if she saw I was wearing them again, especially since she was so glad that I stopped wetting the bed and she didn't have to change my diapers anymore." "So, would you wear them over here if you could?" "Probably not, it's kind of embarrassing to be a nine- year-old and still be wearing diapers, especially when you're wearing them in front of your sister all day and having her change you. I don't know how or why you let yourself go through that." It didn't sound like Tommy was too keen on the idea of wearing diapers, so I dropped the conversation at that point and went back to watching cartoons. Jessica finally got out of bed and saw that Tommy was wearing underpants instead of the diaper that she had put on him last night. "Did you change your diaper, Tommy?" she asked him. "I see you're not wearing it now." "Mom changed him," I told her. "She changed me, too". "Oh, that's good, did you use the diaper, Tommy?" "Does she have to know?" Tommy whispered to me. "She's just asking; I'll tell her." "He did, Jess," I told my sister. "He had another small accident." "Boy, it's good thing we have diapers in this house," Jessica said. "Or I'd have you two sleeping on the floor!" she smiled. Mom made us all breakfast that morning. This time we had hotcakes with butter and syrup. Tommy and I later took a walk into town, though mom insisted that Jessica accompany us. She also took along a tote bag that contained a change of diapers and plastic pants since we were probably going to be in town for awhile. It was a cool, windy day and it looked like rain was on the way, so we weren't sure how long to stay in town. We didn't have a lot of money, so there really wasn't much that we could do anyway. We decided to go to the park and play on the swings. Even though it wasn't hot, we all got thirsty and went across the street to a small fast food place and got drinks. We went back to the park and resumed playing. We even joined another group of kids in their basketball game, though I had a hard time running around with my thick diapers on. I also noticed that as I kept running around the shorts started slipping down and exposing the plastic pants and the layers of cloth stuffed beneath them. If the other kids had observed me closely enough, they would have seen that I was wearing diapers. I kept stopping every minute to pull them back up. Soon I felt a need to go to the bathroom, and since I was already diapered up so much and that the park's restrooms were a long way from where we were, I stopped playing for a moment to wet the diaper. I had to tell the other kids that I needed to take a rest for a moment. They just continued playing with Jessica and Tommy while I went over to a nearby picnic table where I leaned on it and wet the diaper. I sat down for a few minutes. Jessica and Tommy ran over to me, since they had a pretty good idea of what happened. "Do you need to be changed?" Jessica asked. "Yes, I'm wet again," I answered her. "Where are you going to change me?" "They have bathrooms over there, I'll change you there." "But what if somebody sees us in there?" "Brian, look around," Jessica said. "What?" "You don't see anybody else in the park, do you?" "Just the kids we were playing basketball with, but that's it." "Exactly, there's nobody around, so I doubt anyone will walk in." We walked across the open lawn in the middle of the park and made our way to the small concrete building where the restroom was located. Before we even went inside, we retreated from the horrendous odor! It made me want to puke! "Your diapers don't even smell as bad as that!" Jessica commented. "So, where do we change?" "Follow me," she said as she started walking back towards the place we got drinks earlier, holding my hand as she walked me across the street to the restaurant. It was lunch hour by then and the place was busy. The only other places nearby were also restaurants, which, presumably had large crowds as well. Jessica was still holding my hand as she walked me into the women's restroom. We only had the space of a stall for Jessica to change me. She had me lie down on the floor as she pulled off my baggy shorts. She next pulled off the plastic pants and the wet diaper. She was working hastily as she knew I would be embarrassed if anyone had walked in. She wrapped the clean, dry diaper around me and deftly pinned it back up. I had my plastic pants put back on and then my shorts. We managed to get my entire diaper change done without anyone walking in, good timing considering how packed the restaurant was. We would've have bought lunch, but none of us had much money, especially after buying drinks. We decided to go back over to the park, where some people had since then gathered for lunch. As I looked over the tree tops I saw some dark gray clouds approaching. It looked like it was going to rain and I felt that we should get going back soon. Jessica and Tommy wanted to play on the slide and on the teeter-totters first before we went back. About ten minutes later the wind picked up. As I had on shorts, I was starting to feel cold. The gusts picked up some more and we decided that we'd better go back, and hurry! The rain started falling by the time we reached the last corner before getting to the apartments. We all walked in the house, dripping wet from the sudden downpour that struck when we reached the parking lot of the apartment. We thought it was only a rainstorm until a bright flash came through the window, followed by a very loud crescendo of rumbling thunder, coming barely a second later! We were pretty close to wherever the lightning had struck, and very glad to have gotten back home and inside. Jessica went into the bathroom to change into some dry clothes. I stripped off my wet shorts and shirt and handed them to mom. I pulled a dry shirt out of the drawer and slipped it on, otherwise wearing only my diapers. The three of us sat at the window and watched the rain beat fiercely against the window. The wind was blowing around leaves and other debris and garbage cans were rolling around in the parking lot. Lightning kept streaking across the sky and thunder continued to rumble angrily. It lasted about fifteen minutes before it calmed down and about thirty minutes before it stopped raining, at which time Tommy went back home. The rest of the day went like most others. Mom was gone again that evening as she usually was on the weekends. She left us with some dinner that she made for us before going out. She also told us that she might be bringing him over this evening. As I was wearing nothing but my diapers and my shirt, this aroused my concern over whether or not he would see me like this. "Why don't you just have your diapers taken off for now and then just wear your regular underwear and your old shorts and you'll be fine. You don't really need the diapers now, anyway, even though you've been wearing them a lot lately." "I know, I just feel more safe when I'm wearing them," I said. "But I think I'll be okay for tonight, I mean, the bathroom's right there and..." Mom took off for her date and told us to straighten things up before she came back home with Jerry, who was the man that she was going out to see. She said she expected to be gone about two hours before coming home as she left. Jessica asked me if I wanted to have my diaper taken off just yet. I told her I wanted to try to use it first since I was wearing it, which was actually my way of saying that I felt more comfortable and secure to have it on. "Okay, I suppose that makes sense. Just let me know when you use it." Another hour and fifteen or twenty minutes passed when Jessica again asked me if I used the diaper yet. I was still dry, but I knew that I would be wetting soon. "Mom might come over with that guy earlier than she said, so you'd better hurry up and use it or have me change you out of it now." It was another ten minutes when I felt my bladder's pressure increase enough that I could start peeing in the diaper, which for me, wasn't a lot of bladder pressure. I didn't soak the diaper like I often did, but it was enough to say that I had wet the diaper. I told Jessica to go ahead and take it off. She took everything off of me and grabbed a pair of my briefs from the drawer. "I don't know where your old shorts are," Jessica said as she went through the other drawers. "Your other ones are probably in the laundry room, and they're probably damp still. I look there for your old ones." I sat there on the bed, suddenly feeling so naked, and so unprotected as all I had on were my briefs. I was used to the soft, comfortable and secure feeling of diapers and now I was at a point that I felt better to have them on. What would this mean when I started school, which was coming up soon? All that mattered now is what I looked like tonight when mom brought Jerry in to meet us. Jessica came back in with my old shorts. "They were at the bottom of another pile of clothes in there," she said. I stood up and slipped them on. They didn't add any thickness that I could detect. I grabbed a pillow from the bed and sat on it, trying to simulate the feel of a diaper underneath my bottom. It worked somewhat, but it lacked the all-around padded feeling that my diapers gave me. Mom came home shortly after I changed into my non- diaper clothing, and, as she had told us, she had Jerry with him. He was a tall, burly man, but he looked like a nice gentleman. He wore glasses, too. "Kids, this is Jerry," my mom introduced us to him. He shook hands with me. "Pleased to meet you, you must be Brian," he said in his loud, but friendly voice. He then shook hands with Jessica and joined mom at the table in the kitchen, where they sat and talked for at least an hour while Jessica and I watched TV. I had gotten up once to use the bathroom. It was the first time I had used a toilet in several weeks. I was feeling tired and I wanted to go to bed. I went into the kitchen and pulled mom aside to ask her how much longer Jerry would be visiting. She got up and came out to the living room. "Oh, not too much longer," mom said. "I'm tired and I wanna go to bed." "We'll probably go outside soon, so go ahead and climb into bed." "What about my diapers?" "Have Jessica change you back into them after we go outside, that way Jerry won't see you wearing them." "Does he know I wear them now?" "No, I haven't told him anything." Mom went back into the kitchen and sat back down with Jerry. I told Jessica to diaper me when they got up to outside. Minutes later, the cue came. Mom told us they were going to go outside and gaze at the stars. Jessica told me that they probably had some other activities in mind, too. "What do you mean?" I asked her naively. "You're a little too young to understand, but you'll find out when you're a little older." I got up and pulled my shorts and my underwear off. Jessica had a thick stack of diapers ready to go. She drew them up onto me and pinned them into place. It felt good to have that familiar padding all around me again. She pulled the plastic pants up and let the waistband snap into place, tucking the diapers in where it was still sticking out above the plastic pants. She firmly pulled up my plastic pants one more time to ensure they were well in place. I crawled into bed and lay there as I tried to get to sleep. Jessica was still sitting up watching the news. I listened to it while I lay there, sitting up only when I heard a story that sounding interesting enough to warrant my attention. After the weather segment was over I lay back down. I don't remember anything beyond that. I clutched onto Whitey and held him as I drifted off to sleep. I tried to stay awake until mom came back in, but she was still outside with Jerry when I fell asleep. I woke up again at about 2:00 in the morning. The lights were out by then and Jessica was asleep, too. I wasn't sure if mom had come back in. I was concerned, so I got up and walked back into her room. I tiptoed in there and could barely see her lying there in the dim light of her digital alarm clock. At least I knew she was accounted for. I wanted to kiss her goodnight since I kissed her every night, but I told myself I'd make up for it tomorrow night. I climbed back into bed, and my diaper was still dry. BRIAN THE BEDWETTER: PART 12 ---------------------------- The rest of the summer went by quickly. Tommy and I usually spent our days together doing any of several activities. Jessica and Mindi were usually out doing things, and mom was spending more of her time with Jerry. Without mom being home a lot, everyone else was out doing their activities. Mom's weight loss was becoming more noticeable, though she had a ways to go still. I was still wetting the bed just about every night, but as long as I was diapered, it wasn't a problem. Eventually things got to where Jerry would have to know that I am a bedwetter and that I wear diapers for it. It was Labor Day weekend, just before school was to start up. Jerry invited us to a picnic that he was having with some of his family. This sounded exciting as I had never been to a picnic until this day. I assumed it was right here in town at the park. Before we left, mom told me that Jerry had several nieces and nephews who would be present at the picnic and that I may not be comfortable to be in diapers around them. She asked me if I felt I could go without the diapers today. Since school was starting the next day I figured I'd need to get myself used to going without diapers anyway. I decided to go to the picnic with just regular underpants and my old shorts. I figured we wouldn't be that far from home if I did have a problem. In case I did have any problems, mom brought along some diapers for me. It wasn't until after we had driven past the park and gone through downtown did I realize this picnic was not so close to home as I had thought. The place we were going was to Storm Mountain Lake, about thirty miles from here. This still didn't seem all that far until I had learned that the last fifteen miles of the trip involved going up a steep, narrow, and rough dirt road that led to the lake. Jerry had a sturdy, reliable, four-wheel-drive, fortunately. Still, I wasn't prepared for this kind of a drive. It didn't help that I had drank a tall glass of ice water before we left since I thought we would be at the park in town and close to the bathrooms. We were about two or three miles off the main highway and heading up the mountain road to the lake when I felt the sensation to go to the bathroom. We were only going fifteen or twenty miles an hour at the most, so it was going to be a long trip indeed. I needed Jerry to stop. I knew I would wet my pants if I tried to hold it. I tugged on mom's shirt sleeve to get her attention. "I need to go to the bathroom, mom!" I told her. "Can you tell Jerry to stop?" A few seconds later Jerry looked in the rearview mirror. "As soon as I can find a place to stop I will, but there ain't a place along here that I can, so you just sit tight, ol' buddy! We'll find you a spot," he assured me. The road didn't improve any. We were driving steadily uphill on a narrow, winding road. There were solid rock cliffs on each side of the road, no place to even pull over and no trees to hide behind. The next couple of miles put us between a steep rock wall and a big dropoff the was only separated from the road by a dirt bank, no place safe to stop or for me to be let out. The jolts and bumps on the road didn't make me any more comfortable. I knew for sure I was headed for an accident soon! I look out the windshield and didn't see any place for Jerry to stop. I looked for a cup or some kind of receptacle I could pee into. Nothing was available. I couldn't take another minute of it. I had to let it out, even if it meant getting the seat wet. Just as I started wetting, I looked up and saw an open stretch of road for Jerry to stop. Had I waited just a minute longer! "We'll stop up here," he said as he pulled into a small turnout. I was crying from embarrassment. The front of my shorts was all wet as was the seat! I felt bad that I did this to Jerry's back seat. How could I explain to him what I did? Mom turned around and saw me in tears as I trying not to let Jerry hear me sobbing. "We'll get out here," mom said as she got out from the front and came to the back to open the door. She grabbed the tote bag and then helped me down from his truck as it was so high up from the ground. Mom took my hand and guided me into a patch of trees nearby. "I didn't know we'd be coming here!" I cried. "I thought we were just going to the park in town! Why didn't he stop?" "He couldn't, honey," mom explained to me as she hugged me and patted me on the back. I didn't know the road up here was so bad, either. If he knew you had this problem I'm sure he would have taken it into consideration." "I got his seat all wet, too!" "I'll apologize for you, it's not your fault, okay?" "I can't go anywhere without diapers! I thought that today I could!" "If we could have stopped, this wouldn't have happened. I know you feel bad about this. I didn't think you would have any problems, so I didn't think to bring any changes of regular underwear and shorts. All I brought were your diapers and Jessica's old gym shorts in case you needed those." I had no choice but to wear diapers now. Mom reached into the bag and pulled out some diapers. She laid a stack of three of them down on a flat area of the ground. I got into position as she drew them up over me just as she would do at home. She pinned them up and handed me the plastic pants and the shorts. I asked if I could go without the plastic pants since they made so much of a crinkling noise. If you wet, it'll get all over your shorts. "I won't wet in them," I said. "I'll go into the trees and pull them down like underwear." "Okay, but let me loosen this up a bit for you". mom said as she re-pinned the diapers more loosely so that I could pull them down enough to pee over them. I put on the shorts and walked back with mom. As I was wearing the diapers more loosely and that I wasn't diapered as thickly, I found myself pulling up on them while we walked back to Jerry's truck. Mom lifted me up to the seat and shut the door. Jessica had grabbed a towel from her stuff and wiped the seat off the best she could. It was still damp and it was starting to smell of urine. Mom then had to explain to Jerry what had happened and why it took us so long. She apologized and told Jerry that she should have let him know. I cringed as I thought of what Jerry might think of my bladder problem. I was beginning to think of Jerry as my dad and that if he treated me like my real dad treated me, I would have been back to the hell that I had escaped from the first time. So far he was cool about it and explained that he would have stopped for me before we went up the mountain road had he known. As he did not have any children of his own he was not experienced with driving with kids and considering their bathroom needs, as Jerry explained in an apology of his own. The last two or three miles leading to the park was a smooth, flat drive lined by beautiful tall trees and green grass and forest growth all around. We got to the park where I saw the sign: "Storm Mountain Lake". It wasn't much of a park. In fact, it was more like a campground. The only people who were there were Jerry's family. He went around and introduced us to his brothers and their wives and his parents. He then introduced us to the six kids that were there. They ranged in age from three to fourteen. There were four boys and two girls. I couldn't remember any of their names at first. One of the boys and one of the girls were too young to play with us, so they stayed at the picnic area. The boy, who was the three-year- old, was toddling around in just a diaper, kind of like me. As I thought of his age versus mine it allowed me to put things into perspective. With that I realized that I was a tad bit too old to be wearing diapers, too. It was about a half hour before we got to eat. Two of the boys, Drew and Curtis, asked me if I wanted to join them in a game of softball with two of the girls, Heidi and Jolene, who were each sisters to Drew and Curtis, respectively. I decided to join them, as did Jessica, making it an even six, or three people to each team. I wasn't able to play very well as I was constantly pulling up on the diapers and the shorts, especially the shorts as they kept sliding down and exposing the diapers! As I was playing as the outfielder, I was at a distance from everyone and they would probably think it was my underwear that was showing. It was my turn to bat. I hit the ball and started running the bases. My shorts were sliding down as I ran. I knew that half of the diapers were showing before I grabbed the waistband and pulled the shorts back up. I made my home run, but I had to hold my shorts up the whole time. I knew this had to have looked silly. I thought for sure some of the other kids would say something to me and make fun of me for wearing diapers. Whether or not they noticed, they didn't say anything. We were called back to the picnic as everyone was ready to eat. After the picnic was over we all went down to the lake. I walked alongside Drew and talked to him while we walked along the narrow path. He told me he was ten years old, the closest one to my age. He told me that his family came to Storm Mountain Lake every year as it was a good halfway point from where he lived, as he explained it, about fifty miles from the other direction, down the other side of the mountain. We got to the lake shore, which was a farther walk than it appeared to be from the picnic area. As we reached the edge of the lake we walked down a steep and treacherously narrow path that led to a flat rock that jutted out into the water. "Wanna go swimming?" Drew asked me. "Well, uh, I don't swim too good," I said. "It's not deep here; it's only about three feet." He immediately proceeded to pull off his shorts and stood there in just his underpants. The other boy, Curtis came along and did the same thing. "I don't have any swimming trunks," I said as I tried to excuse myself from having to take off my shorts. "You don't need 'em!" he said. "Just take your shorts off, we do it all the time!" "That's all right," I said as I sat there on the rock. Even if I didn't have diapers on underneath, I wouldn't have been too comfortable with stripping down in front of two boys that I had never met before. I would have been even less comfortable doing it in front of the two girls who came along a few minutes later in their swimsuits. Apparently they were too modest to just strip to their underwear like the boys did. I had a good reason to be even more modest. Jessica came along, too, but she didn't have her swimsuit with her nor was she about to take a dip in only her underwear. While the other kids swam around the lake Jessica and I just sat on the rock. It was kind of a drag to just sit there and look like party poopers, but since we didn't know where we were going, we didn't know there would be any swimming. The girls got out about a half hour later and said they were going back. The boys wanted to swim longer, so we left them there and told them we were leaving. It was a difficult climb from the rock down below up to the top of the edge. Jessica led us up the perilous path, precariously taking each step and hoping not to slip on the loose dirt and rocks. Heidi was right behind me and Jolene was last. I was about two thirds of the way up when Heidi started to slip behind me. As she started to fall, she grabbed onto my shorts and pulled them down, all the way down! My diapers were now fully exposed to Heidi and to Jolene! Things were too critical at this time to be concerned with letting my diapers show to everyone. Heidi was able to regain her support. She then apologized for what she had done. Everyone was okay now, except that now I would go through the rest of the picnic thinking of what it looked like to the two girls to see me with diapers on underneath my shorts! We all got to the top and started walking back. I kept waiting for the girls to say something to me about my diapers, and it made me anxious for the rest of the day. They never said anything to me about it, but I was sure they wanted to know what I was wearing them for! By the time we got back I needed to go to the bathroom again. There was an outhouse across the parking area so I walked over to it, though I was hesitant to go into it as my experience has proven that outhouses and park restrooms do not have much odor control. I opened the door and came back out about three seconds later holding by breath. I walked over to the road and across it to the trees up on the hill. I got to a well-hidden spot in the forest growth beneath a tree and pulled my shorts down. Next I tried to get the diaper down enough that I could pee over it. It was still pinned on too tightly and went up too high on the front to allow me to pull it down easily. I didn't want to unpin it as I didn't want to fiddle with pinning it back up afterwards. When I realized that I couldn't get the diapers down far enough I figured that if I wanted to pee like I didn't need the diaper then I would have to remove it completely and re-pin it. I started working one of the pins on the left side, only to be distracted by a hornet. It scared me out of my wits as it came buzzing towards me. I then saw a second one. I wanted out of here! I looked up in tree above me and saw a hornet's nest! I was terrified of bees and everything else that was yellow and had a stinger! I ran out of there and bolted back to the picnic area. I ran down the hill and across the roadway back to the picnic area, panting and gasping. I told mom that I was trying to pull the diapers down to pee in them, but I had trouble getting them off, and while I was doing it I got chased out by hornets. "Do you really have to go, Brian?" mom asked me. "I'm about to wet again!" "Let's go over to Jerry's truck," mom said. "You *do* have a diaper on, so you might as well just use it. I'll change you again." We walked over to the truck and went around to the other side where I had some privacy. Mom just stood there while I stood there and let it out into the diapers. Because it wasn't pinned on as tightly, there were gaps in the legs and I had no plastic pants on to hold in any leakage. I ended up wetting the only other pair of shorts I had! "Oh, you didn't have your plastic pants on, Brian!" mom exclaimed. "Now all you have to wear are the other diapers I brought along!" "I'll just sit in here until we leave," I moped. "Well probably be taking off soon anyway. It's over an hour's drive back, and it looks like we may have a storm coming. I looked up through the windshield and saw everyone out there packing their things up. "It looks like they're all leaving now," I said. "Okay, I'll go help them. First, let's get you changed." Mom laid me down on the back seat and pulled my shorts off, followed by the unpinning of the diapers. She got out the rest of the diapers-- six of them- - and pinned them on. She then handed me the plastic pants that I should have been wearing. I sat there alone in the truck for about fifteen minutes while mom helped get things packed away. Just before we left Drew and Curtis walked over to the truck. I rolled the window down to find out what they wanted. "We might see you again soon," Drew said as he extended his hand up to me. I shook his hand and told him it was nice to meet him. Curtis waved as I said goodbye to him. I didn't know if they were told I wore diapers, but I had a good feeling that their sisters had said something about it to the boys. Jerry and mom were ready to go as they got into the front, and just in time. The first clouds of the storm were coming towards us. clouds had rolled in. The still water of the lake reflected the dark grays of the clouds. A distance lightning strike sparked towards the ground. I was glad we were leaving, but I feared what it would be like to drive down the mountain in the storm. Jerry looked back at us to make sure we had our seatbelts on. It appeared that he took an extra second or two to look at me in my diapers. I asked him if we would make it back in the storm. "Sure we will! This thing has been everywhere! It'll get us down, no problem." Just as we got past the first three miles of smooth driving and started back down the mountain the rain started hammering down. I just sat back there scared. It was raining so hard I wasn't able to see out the window. Jerry confidently kept trudging along and negotiating the muddy curves. Just to see the road straighten out and flatten was a welcome sight. By that time the worst of the storm had already passed. I was glad to see the driveway. I was so tired all I wanted to do was to climb into bed. The picnic didn't turn out to be as fun as I had hoped. Had I known where we were going or what everyone would be doing I would have been better prepared for it. I picked up Whitey and told him how much I had missed him today. I wished he could have been there to hold onto. I know he would have made me feel better during that awful drive up the mountain. But that was over with and I was safely back home. Jerry visited for a few minutes before he took off. I didn't have to hide when I was just in diapers around him anymore. I just sat there on the bed across from the chair he was sitting in while he talked to mom, Jessica and I. I got to thinking about the possibility that he may be my future step-father. It was too soon to tell, but it was a possibility. BRIAN THE BEDWETTER: PART 13 ---------------------------- It was Labor Day, the very last day of summer before school started. We didn't do much that day until later in the afternoon when Jerry stopped by again. I had been sitting around in my diapers all day long and was in need of a change. Even though Jerry knew that I wore diapers, I didn't want to be changed with him sitting in the living room so mom carried everything with her back to her bedroom and changed me in there. Mom assured me that I would be near restrooms and wouldn't need my diapers if I didn't want to wear them. I was in a quandary as I felt so much more secure to wear them, plus the fact that I liked wearing them more than I wanted others to know. On the other hand, I didn't want everyone finding out at school and I would have to get used to not wearing them at such times. I took a look at Whitey, my teddy bear, sitting on my bed. I looked into his eyes and heard him say "you're just a little boy, Brian, it's okay to wear diapers if you want to." I fell back on my regressive tendencies and opted for the diapers. Mom shrugged as she took my underpants back with her to put them away and came back with the diapers. Today's activities turned out better than yesterday. Jerry took Jessica and I to the video arcade with all games on him. Next he took us out for lunch and then ice cream. While it was too early to know for sure, I began to wonder if Jerry and my mom would ever get married. He was certainly a much nicer man than my own father and treated us as if we were his own kids. He helped us to end our summer on a high note. The summer was now officially over. Today was the first day of school, and for me it was a strange new environment with kids I had never seen, except for Tommy. Just before school started and we found who are teachers were I was excited to find out that I at least had Tommy in the same class as me. Things were different for me than what I had been accustomed to as far as getting ready for school. I often woke up in wet diapers as I had been doing ever since I started wearing them, but it was better than facing the shame of leaving for school knowing that my bed was wet and would still be wet when I got home from school. As Jessica was too busy getting herself ready for school mom often took care of my morning diaper changes. As mom removed my wet diapers that first morning and handed me my underpants, she patted me on the head and assured me that I would be okay with wearing just my regular underpants. She had talked to my teacher just a few days ago and told her that I needed to be allowed to run to the bathroom whenever I needed to go. Mom assured me the teacher would accommodate me. "If you need to go, just get up and leave; your teacher already told me this and left it to me to tell you." I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and comb my hair after I had gotten dressed. Mom had our lunches ready and kissed us both goodbye as we trotted out to the bus stop. I was glad to have Tommy along with me on this first day of school, even though he was also a new student. We both walked through the unfamiliar hallway and successfully located our classroom and took our pre-assigned seats. I was given the front seat in the first row. Tommy had to sit in the middle row towards the back. So much for talking in class. As I sat there and waited for the bell to ring, I nervously twiddled my thumbs, wondering who all these kids were. Of even greater concern was if they could tell that I was a bedwetter. My diapers were off and I had regular underpants on like everyone else did, or at that's what I assumed. Maybe some of the other kids in my class had the same problem as I did. If I couldn't tell whether or not they wet their beds, then they probably couldn't tell whether or not I did, either. Our teacher, Mrs. Hopkins came in and introduced herself to the class. She called out everyone's name to see who was there and for her to find out who her students were. She started with me, calling "Brian Lowrey". Next she called Jeff Adams, Mike Asner, Rhonda Babcock, Linda Beisley, and so on. The seating was organized alphabetically by last name, except for me. Getting the frontmost seat closest to the door was how I was accommodated for my "special needs," though I tried not to refer to it as that. Hopefully nobody would figure it out that I was placed out of sequence for such a reason. It soon occurred to me that had I been placed in proper order Tommy would have been right behind me; his last name was Lundgren. Mrs. Hopkins looked like she was a nice teacher. She was young, slender, and admittedly, pretty. She smiled a lot and made us feel at ease. We went through the usual first- day routine-- getting our books, getting a chance to know who we all were, things like that. I looked forward to this school year. Just knowing I had a decent home to go to when I got off the bus made me feel better. Right there on that first day my bladder's weakness was put to a test. It was shortly before the first recess bell when I felt the urge to pee. I knew I couldn't hold it for very long. Keep in mind that I was not diapered now. Even though my other teachers allowed me to leave the classroom when I needed to, it still felt awkward to get up from class and walk out without permission. I was halfway out of my seat when Mrs. Hopkins looked at me and saw that I was in a state of discomfort that signaled a need for me to go to the bathroom. I silently motioned my lips and said "I need to go". She gave me a nod of approval and excused me. I sensed that some of the kids were wondering why I got to leave like that. It felt nice to be able to get to a toilet so quickly and easily. The last place I wanted to be wearing diapers was at school. Even worse would have been wetting my pants in school, and since I wasn't going to wear diapers in school, I tried hard to make sure there would be no accidents. I looked forward to going home from school for once. That may sound strange, but I used to dread walking in to my dad's apartment, wondering if he would be home because of losing his job or not going to the job he had at the time. He was sometimes okay, but more often, it seemed, he was anywhere from a little tipsy to full-fledged sloshed. It was never pleasant to walk in and have him yell belligerently at me for wetting my bed that morning. Why he waited until I got home, I don't know. I walked in and went right over to the bed and hugged Whitey. I was so happy that I had this wonderful, comfortable, clean place to come home to. For the first time, I could have peace of mind upon entering. Jessica asked me why I was so happy. "It must have been a good first day of school, Brian," she said. "I don't have to come home to dad anymore," I said. Jessica then reminded me how she told me that things would get better and that this was proof that things were improving now. She asked me if I had any problems getting to the bathroom today. "Nope, Mrs. Hopkins lets me leave whenever I want." "That's good." Jessica then asked me if I wanted to get diapered just yet. As I was home and not expecting to go anywhere, I told her to go ahead and diaper me. Mom didn't expect me to be wearing them when she got home from work but she knew that I preferred to wear them, at least at home. The first few weeks went by okay. I had gotten to know some of the other kids and they seemed to like me pretty well. To them I was just an ordinary kid who ate, drank, slept, peed and pooped like the rest of them. I know I ate and drank like they did, but I slept with a teddy bear and wore diapers, and I certainly didn't pee or poop the same way most of them did. Then came the day we had a substitute teacher. Her name was Mrs. Thomas, and from what I had been told, she was the worst substitute teacher to have. It wasn't until later that day that I would find out just how miserable she made things for the classes in which she was a pinch hitter. Normally, substitute teachers were more cool than the real teacher, but not Mrs. Thomas. She ran the classroom like it was an army camp. She barked orders and demanded that we each sit straight and face her at full attention. Anyone who deviated from this was yelled at and threatened to be sent to see the principal. My biggest uncertainty was whether or not she knew of my special bathroom privileges. Even if she did, she was probably too strict to care whether or not I sometimes needed to get to the bathroom more often and more quickly than others. When one kid raised his hand and asked to be excused, she yelled at him for interrupting the lesson and then told him that he should have used his recess time for that. He tried to challenge her, but she would not let him leave. After lunch, I felt the urge to pee coming on. I knew I would be in trouble if I got up, but at the same time, I would be in more trouble if I were to wet my pants. I couldn't let this happen. I sat there holding my legs together when Mrs. Thomas snapped at me for my posture. It was obvious that I needed to go to the bathroom, but she didn't even seem to acknowledge this. I was approaching the point where I was about to flood my pants. Without a diaper on, it would only mean disaster. I didn't care what Mrs. Thomas thought. She was only a substitute teacher, and my comfort was more important than adhering to her absurdly rigid rules. I got up and ran down the hall. She yelled at me and ordered me to return to class. Too late! I was gone and out the door and down the hallway to the bathroom! I had already dampened my underwear by the time I got to the urinal. Just a few more seconds and I would have peed my pants! When I got back to the classroom I was confronted by the evil Mrs. Thomas. "Why did you do that?! You know better!" "I had to go to the bathroom!" "Not in the middle of my class you don't, young man!" she scolded me sternly. "But Mrs. Hopkins lets me!" "Shut up! I am NOT Mrs. Hopkins!" The humiliation was too much. I started crying, trying to repress my feelings, but unable to keep the tears from rolling down my face. "The last thing I need in my class is a crybaby! You're going to the principal's office!" She then grabbed my shirt and tugged on it as she dragged me out of the classroom. I started crying, knowing that I was completely innocent and free of any and all charges of wrongdoing. "Save your crying for the principal's paddle!" she shouted into my ear. All of the kids in the other classrooms must have heard her mean voice echo throughout the hallway. She almost literally threw me into the chair and told the principal what I had supposedly done wrong. "He disrupted my class!" she started. "And he just left the classroom!" She then stormed back to the classroom to torture the rest of the students. I sat nervously in the cold environment of the principal's office. I knew I had done nothing wrong and was poised to defend myself, but would the principal take my side of the story? Mr. Stinson, who was the principal, called me into his office and sternly lectured me about my so-called "class disruption." I told him that I desperately needed to use the bathroom and was about to pee my pants. "There is a reason why you have recess!" he said. "But, I can't always wait until then!" I cried. "I can't hold it for that long!" "Too bad, we have reasons for not allowing you to leave the classroom the way you did!" "But Mrs. Hopkins let me do it! They let me do it at my old school!" "First, Mrs. Hopkins is violating school policy by allowing you to leave class in the first place! Second, we don't care how your old school did things; we don't follow their policies! Listen, Brian, this is your only warning! If this happens again..." Mr. Stinson stopped talking and pointed to the large paddle that was hanging on the wall behind him. It was over two feet long, about a foot wide, an inch thick, and it had large holes drilled into it! Mr. Stinson's arms were full of powerful muscles that stretched his shirt sleeves. He must have been able to deliver a powerful and painful spanking whenever he wielded that thing! I started crying at the mere threat of being spanked! It brought back my most horrible memories of living with my dad. Without realizing it, I wet my pants while sitting there shaking like a leaf. Thank goodness I had emptied most of my bladder as it was only a trickle, but still, it was enough to darken my pants. Mr. Stinson saw the spot on my pants. "What's a kid your age wetting his pants for?" he asked. "What a disgrace! I ought to spank you right now!" "No!!!" I screamed. "Please, don't spank me! Please don't spank me! Please, oh please, oh please...!!!" I was so scared at this point I felt like I was going to faint! I was hyperventilating and seeing stars. My heart was very rapidly beating, about to burst through my chest, at least that was how it felt. I started shaking uncontrollably and went into a fit of bawling. Even Mr. Stinson saw how easily such a threat affected me and rescinded his threat. He gave me a moment to calm down and talked to me again. "You might want to think about this next time you disrupt class!" He then told me to get back to the classroom. Tears were still streaming down my face, which was still red. I was still shaking and my heart hadn't yet shifted down to a lower gear. I went into the bathroom again to wipe the tears from my face. I looked in the mirror and it was clearly evident that I had been crying profusely. I hated to go back to class like this but had no choice. I kept my face turned away from the class as I went in there and sat down. Only the kids in the front row could see the distressed look on my face. I sat there and stared at Mrs. Thomas with much resentment over the way she treated me and how she got me in "trouble" with the principal. I was too ashamed to even tell Tommy about it after school. The whole ordeal was just as humiliating and unnerving as it would have been had I wet my pants. I just couldn't win for losing, at least not while Mrs. Thomas substituted. I prayed that she would not be there tomorrow. As I got home from school I wanted to tell mom what had happened. I waited impatiently for her to get home from work. Meanwhile, I had told Jessica of the horror I faced in school. I started crying as I retold the details of this most heinous way of carrying out the school's policies. Jessica comforted me and told me that mom would take care of it. At first I wasn't too keen by having my mom complain to the school, but I knew that nothing else could be done about it. I thought that maybe Jerry could barge in there Paul Bunyan style (he was big enough and looked sort of like a lumberjack) and scare them out of their wits, but he wasn't a legal guardian to me and couldn't really do a thing about it. Jessica then put me back into my diapers for the day and warmed up some soup for me to help me feel better. I took a short nap and woke up by the time mom got home from work. Again I had to tell mom about my awful day at school. I tried not to cry, but it was too hard to suppress my emotions. Mom was enraged by what the school had done to me and would take me to school and talk to the principal while she was there. I asked mom if I could stay home, but she advised me not to miss school unless I was sick since they didn't allow for very many absences. She comforted me and assured me that she would do something about this. I dreaded having to go to school the next morning. As mom pulled my wet diapers away from my crotch and wiped it dry, I felt like asking her to diaper me. I would have gladly worn a diaper and not have been placed in the same situation as I was in yesterday. "Are you sure you want to wear a diaper to school?" "If Mrs. Thomas is there I will!" "I'll call the school and find out if Mrs. Hopkins is back." I sat there on the bed naked from the waist down, waiting to find out whether or not the wicked substitute teacher would be back to torment the class. I sat there feeling so nervous, expecting mom to come back and tell me that Mrs. Hopkins would be gone again. Much to my relief, mom told me that Mrs. Hopkins was back. I proceeded to slip my underpants on and finish getting ready for school. Mom took us to school that morning. She dropped Jessica off at the junior high and then drove back to my school and dropped me off at the front. "I really hope your day goes better, sweetie," mom said as she kissed me. "Have a good day." She then pulled into the visitor's lot and went into the principal's office. As I sat in class that morning everyone talked about how much of a bitch they thought Mrs. Thomas was. I also thought about the fact that my mom was probably raising hell with the school's administration department at that very moment. I feared that I would get called down there and be brought into it again, but that never happened, fortunately. After the recess dismissal bell rang Mrs. Hopkins asked me to talk to her. She told me that she had been reprimanded for letting me leave class since it was a violation of the school's policies and explained that it was a security issue. "So what do I do?" I asked. "Wet my pants in class?" "I don't know if you'll like this idea, Brian," she started, "but the school suggested that maybe you should be wearing diapers. I can have you talk to the school counselor about it." I didn't like the idea of wearing diapers to school, but this was what was decided as the best way to handle my condition. I was given an appointment to see the counselor later this afternoon. Mrs. Hopkins also apologized for the way Mrs. Thomas handled the situation yesterday and told me that she has harassed other students in the past over similar issues with other students. Later that afternoon I went in to see the counselor. He was very nice and sounded like he was very understanding of my situation. He suggested that I get some discreet disposable diapers that won't be so obvious when worn. He also pointed out that there was a private room in the nurse's office where I could change myself. I got home that afternoon and had Jessica put me back into my diapers. Again, I couldn't wait until mom got home. I wanted to find out what became of her complaint to the school's administration. I also needed to tell her that I was to start wearing diapers to school. It was two hours between the time I got home from school and when mom returned home from work. Mom came through the door and told me what had happened this morning. "All they did was told me that by having you get up in the middle of class that its disruptive and it poses a security risk, which I thought was a load of crap-- pardon me-I mean, I didn't agree with their policy, that is. Then I told them about Mrs. Thomas, and they said 'we're looking into that', though I don't think they're doing anything about it. I'm writing a letter to the Board of Education. It just disgusts me!" I then told mom that they suggested that I wear diapers. "Well, if you have to, then I guess we'll start diapering you in the mornings." "They said I could get disposables and wear them. I can get some that won't show." "Oh boy," mom sighed. "I hate to think of having to keep buying you diapers. You may just have to go with what you have now, and maybe we can figure something out later." It didn't sound appealing, but I knew that tomorrow I would be going to school wearing the same thick, bulky diapers that I had been wearing in the privacy of my home. It wasn't easy to sleep that night as I anticipated what tomorrow would be like. BRIAN THE BEDWETTER: PART 14 ---------------------------- The first thought that hit my mind this morning was the fact that I would be wearing diapers to school now. I couldn't decide what would be more embarrassing-- having wet pants in class or having my bottom all padded up and having everyone see it bulging through my pants. In any case, I would have to face embarrassment in front of my classmates. As I lay there on the bed getting my diapers changed I thought about the day ahead of me, walking around in diapers. Maybe nobody would notice. Looking again at just how thick my diapers were, I knew that hiding them would be impossible unless I could wear a long shirt that I could drape over the top of me. As none of my shirts could cover this much of me, I thought that maybe Jessica had a shirt I could wear. She had some that were long enough, but unfortunately they were too girlish. I decided to take my chances and find the longest shirt of my own. It went down just far enough to cover the belt loops on my pants. Avoiding detection would be difficult. Mom used fewer diapers on me so that my pants would still fit, but even two of them made my pants hard to put on. Mom thought that one diaper might not hold up and felt that I should wear two, just to be safe. I could barely get my zipper up. I tried not to let my plastic pants show over my jeans, but they were more conspicuous than my average pair of briefs, which were never shy about showing themselves off over my pants. I knew I was doomed as I looked at myself in the mirror and saw how my pants appeared to be bursting at the seams from the diapers they were fighting with my pants to have the space they needed. In addition to my lunch and my books I was also given a change of diapers. Even though I had never changed my own diapers, mom was confident that I wouldn't have any problems with it after watching her and Jessica do it so many times. She threw in an extra container of powder, some pins and another pair of plastic pants. I put the diapers in the bag first, at the bottom where they wouldn't show in case the zipper had come open on my bag. It was an uncomfortable walk to the bus, and I expected to be uncomfortable for the entire day. I felt very self-conscious as I stood among the other kids at the bus stop. I stood towards the back of the group, leaning up against the fence behind me. I didn't want Tommy to know that I was wearing diapers today, but I think he sensed it from the way I was acting, plus the fact that I caught him staring down at my pants. At that point I secretly told him and asked if we could take the first available seat on the bus, to which he agreed, even though he preferred the back of the bus. When we got on the bus we took the first available seat, just two rows back. As I walked from the aisle to the seat I faced the back of the bus, knowing that nobody was behind me to see my bulging butt except for Tommy, who already knew what I was wearing. I tried to think of other things as I sat there on the bus, but every jolt, every bump, and every shift I made of my body reminded me that there was quite a bit of material beneath me that separated my rear end from the bus seat. The walk from the bus to the classroom was no more pleasant. I kept looking at everyone, thinking "they see my diapers! They see my diapers!" I kept pulling down on my shirt to minimize the possibility of exposing my diapers. So far I had made it to class without anyone noticing, but the day was still early. Getting through the first recess wasn't easy. Tommy and I stayed away from everyone and sat in a secluded area. Tommy wanted to go play on the swings and the other playground equipment, but I just couldn't take the chance of having someone find out. I told Tommy he could go play on them if he wanted to, but he stayed with me. Every time somebody walked by I thought that they were looking at me and noticing the way my pants bulged out. I was more paranoid than anything else. Apparently nobody noticed nor even seemed to care that we were sitting there. Right after we returned to class I felt my bladder filling up. I wanted to get up and run into the bathroom, but I knew that I couldn't leave class now. I felt very nervous as I anticipated wetting my diapers in class. I tried to assure myself that everything was okay here. I had diapers and plastic on. Only I would know that they were wet. I was so entrenched in thinking about this that Mrs. Hopkins caught me not paying attention. I felt very embarrassed to have my name called two or three times before I responded. "Where are we? What page are we on? What book?" The class laughed as Mrs. Hopkins had to tell me what we were working on. Fortunately I understood the exercise and didn't embarrass myself any farther. As Mrs. Hopkins moved on to the next student my mind returned to the anxieties I was carrying around. I managed to hold it for another half hour before it was causing me too much discomfort to hold it in. I knew that if I tried to hold it until lunch I would lose my hold and flood my diapers all at once. To relieve the pressure I slowly let my pee empty out in spurts, letting the diapers soak it up and then peeing some more. By the time I was done the diaper was soaked. I couldn't leave class to change, so I had to sit there through the remainder of the discussion. As long as we didn't have to do anything that required going to the blackboard I was okay. All I could think was "they don't know I'm wet, they don't know I'm wet..." I was glad when lunch time arrived. I went straight to the nurse's office and into the private room where I had been told to do my changes. It was evident that there were some other kids in the school who wore diapers, too. I could sense a familiar odor of stale urine and even some fecal smells. I looked in the garbage can and opened the lid and saw that some other diapers had been deposited there, some with poop embedded into them. There was also a bench, a chair, and a sink in the small room. I felt nervous, being that this was my first diaper change of my own, plus the fact that I was at school. Even though I was alone and in complete privacy, knowing that other kids were around me made me feel uneasy. I opened my bag and laid the diapers out on the bench. I then took my pants off and pulled my plastic pants down. I unpinned the diapers and let the wet layers drop to the floor. I sat myself down on the diapers and reached into my bag for the pins. I wasn't used to diapering myself like this, especially while in school. I wished that I could have had my mom here to help me. I pinned up both sides of the diaper and stood up. It didn't fit as tightly as the ones that mom and Jessica put on me, but it felt like it would hold up for the remainder of the day. I slipped the plastic pants on and then my jeans. My wet diapers were too soaked to carry around in my bag, so I tried to wring them out over the sink the best I could. I put them in the plastic bag that mom included with my stuff, where they hopefully wouldn't start to smell before I left school today. I washed my hands and went out to the lunchroom. Tommy was sitting there at the table, but he was just about finished with his lunch by the time I started eating mine. "Where were you?" he asked. "I had to uh...change." "Oh, okay," he said. He knew I was sensitive about having to wear diapers to school now and didn't say anything more about it for the rest of the lunch hour. Again we sat in the corner of the playground for about fifteen minutes before the bell rang. We spent the afternoon recess doing just about nothing. After we hopped off the bus after school and were away from other kids I told Tommy about my recently developed situation. "I have to wear diapers to school now." "I know, I could see that you were wearing them," he said. "That must be a bummer. I mean, geez, who wears diapers to *school*, you know?" "Yeah, I just hope nobody notices. I hope I'm gonna get some diapers that aren't so thick and bulky like these," I said as I lifted my shirt and showed Tommy the diapers showing above my pants. I also told Tommy about the used diapers that I saw in the garbage in the changing room. "There's other kids who wear diapers," I said. "Do you know who any of them are?" "I don't," he said. "Do you suppose they are fourth graders?" "Probably first graders, I don't know." Tommy seemed to keep his talking about diapers to a minimum. He always changed the subject when I started talking about it. In fact, he didn't seem to be quite so enthusiastic about being my friend. Maybe I was just feeling too concerned about other things. I spent a couple hours at Tommy's house and spent the afternoon playing games with him. I knew I had homework, but I had just gotten away from school and the last thing I wanted at this time was more school. My diapers were still dry, but would soon be wet as I felt myself needing to pee again. While sitting there in the living room at Tommy's I peed into the diapers. Tommy knew that I was doing it, too. I felt some of it leak out of the diapers and out of the plastic pants and running into the crotch of my pants. It wasn't much, but enough to be conspicuous if anyone were to look. "At least you never have to find a bathroom," he said, almost as if to be a sarcastic remark. I agreed that it was one of the advantages of wearing diapers. "What happens when you have to poop?" he asked. "I use the diapers," I told him. "Even at school?" This is something that I had thought about, and I wasn't sure how I would handle it. I could carry urine- soaked diapers around, but if I were to soil them they would stink and everybody would know something was up. "I just hope I can hold it until I'm off the bus," I said. "I try not to poop in the school's bathrooms. If you fart and they know it was you they laugh, or if you stink it up and they see you come out of the stall they laugh at you." Tommy didn't seem to be very interested in having me there, which was when I decided to leave. I went through the rest of the day sensing that Tommy had a problem with me wearing diapers to school around him in the presence of other classmates. I tried to brush it off and blame my feelings on the other concerns that I had that day. As mom took off my wet diapers the next morning I had been feeling the need to poop. I knew that if mom had diapered me back up I would have pooped into my diapers early in the day, and I really didn't want to deal with the mess at school. Mom told me to run into the bathroom and use the toilet so that it would be out of my system. As I sat on the toilet I felt that I was wasting a good bowel movement that could have gone into a diaper, but when I considered the circumstances-- going to school in diapers-- this was not the time to do it. I returned from the bathroom and hopped on the bed where mom was holding the pins and the powder in her hands. "You didn't wipe," mom pointed out as she observed the fecal residue that had rubbed on my inner buttocks. "I suppose it doesn't matter when you're in diapers all the time," mom said as she got out the wipes and cleaned my bottom. She pulled the diapers over my stomach and pinned them into place. I was just as nervous today as I was yesterday. I knew that I couldn't keep my diapers a secret forever. Eventually, somebody would find out. My shirt might ride up or I might have to bend over to tie my shoe. I thought about slipping my briefs over my diapers so that if anything showed, it would be the red stripe of my underpants' waistband instead of the elastic strip that held my plastic pants up. For today, I just had to make every effort to keep other kids from seeing that I had diapers on. Tommy and I spent most of the day staying away from the other kids as much as possible. I got concerned when one girl was standing behind me and laughing. I had a feeling she was laughing at the bulge underneath my pants, but I didn't hear anything about it nor have anyone else laugh at me that day. I knew the day would come if I didn't start wearing something more discreet. These cloth diapers had their place at home, but not at school. I went to the changing room in the nurse's office at the top of the lunch hour like I did yesterday. As I went in there I looked around to see if there were other kids, hoping to spot some of the other diaper- wearers in the school. It turned out I was the only student there. I looked into the garbage and saw one diaper. This one was also soiled quite heavily. There was also a pile of used wipes on top of it. I knew it was gross and smelly, but I had to get a closer look at the diaper to see if I could tell who was wearing it by looking its size. At least then I could narrow it down to a particular grade or two. I lifted it out of the trash and examined the soiled diaper as it unfolded. Excess fecal matter dropped into the trash as I picked up the tape tabs that held this particular diaper in place on its wearer. In addition to having a big, solid brown clump smeared into the rear, it had a large yellow wet spot on the front, indicating that a boy wore this diaper. That was about all I was able to deduce as I couldn't really tell from the size of it what age the kid was or what grade he was in. It was big enough that it would have fit me, but I wasn't about to test it with this particular diaper. I tossed it back in and took care of my own diaper. I made sure I was pinned into them securely before getting dressed again and heading out to the lunch room. Tommy was already finished with his lunch by the time I got there. I knew I was bumming him out by making him sit alone while he ate his lunch and taking him away from doing the things he liked to do on recess. Somehow I could sense this as he kept telling me that he'd like to go on the swings or join the other kids in their soccer game. I told him to go ahead if he wanted to, but he didn't. As I walked home with Tommy that afternoon I told him how I felt about what wearing diapers to school was doing to our friendship. "I feel bad that you have to sit alone while I get changed." "It's okay," he told me. "I wish you weren't afraid to go out in the middle of the playground, though." I felt that I had to make amends to what I thought was a deteriorating friendship. I went straight over to Tommy's after school and hung out with him that afternoon, just like yesterday. Tommy didn't seem to mind my presence, but I felt like he was about the only friend I had and I didn't want to make him think I didn't want to be around him or do the things he wanted to do. He may have felt this way about me, though. For the remainder of the week I felt this way. Every day I was diapered by mom prior to going to school. I was getting to where I had almost no difficulties putting the diapers on myself, but mom was much faster at it. I was usually in need of a change by lunch time, though I did stay dry up to lunch hour one day and then wet the diaper while Tommy and I sat in the corner of the playground each day. Friday afternoon finally came, but I wasn't feeling too excited. Tommy and I didn't say much to each other on the bus. When I asked him if I could sleep over he curtly told me that his mom didn't want anyone over this weekend. "Why not?" I asked, starting to feel less secure about the future of our friendship. "She just thinks I need my time on the weekends," he said. "Can I come over?" "Brian, you've been over every day," he said. "I'm starting to get behind on my school assignments and my mom also told me that I need this weekend to get caught up on my homework. Oh, I suppose you can come over." We sat together and played games as we had done before, but there was clearly a rift forming between us. I felt that the problem needed to be addressed and brought out in the open. "Is there something wrong?" I asked him. "No, well, yes, there is," he stammered. I mean, it's, it's-it's just that I don't see how you can stand to wear diapers to school. I mean, it's...it's babyish." "What do you mean?" I asked him defensively. "I had to wear diapers for the same reason you wear them, I suppose, anyway. I don't know about you, but it was a humiliating experience for me. I feel that way being around you sometimes." "Well, I hated *not* having them to wear them," I said. I started feeling resentful and I must have glared at him as to communicate this. His tone of voice changed. "Everyone at school's gonna think I wear diapers. I can't go through that again. That night I wore them for diarrhea, I only did it because your sister told me to. Look, uh, I just don't know what to think." "Tommy, I thought I could trust you!" I erupted. "I thought you would understand, I mean, you were a bedwetter once, too!" "Yeah, and I hated it! Diapers didn't help, they just made me feel like a baby, which is what you are!" "Huh?" I said, feeling stunned. "You don't like to do anything anymore! You just sit there in the corner because you don't want anyone to see you wearing diapers!" "I said you could go play if you wanted! You didn't have to sit there with me!" "Maybe I will go play from now on! I don't think I can be your friend anymore, Brian! I can't be around someone who wears DIAPERS all the time! I just can't! This has been bothering me all week!" There was nothing I could do now but to leave. I knew that my mom would be getting home soon anyway, so I decided that I should get going. I was in need of a diaper change, which I didn't feel like doing. I had Jessica change me instead, and I also told Jessica about Tommy and the way he betrayed me today. "Maybe you guys can patch it up tomorrow," Jessica suggested. "Talk to mom when she gets home." Mom was running late tonight. All I could do was sit on the bed and hold Whitey. It had been awhile since he and I "talked". Going into school, I felt like I should try to be more grown up like the other kids, but I was about to cry when I realized that I had been neglecting my one true friend right now, Whitey; he was my solace. I caught myself regressing as I lay on my back and put my feet in the air. "I'll always be your friend," Whitey said to me in his imaginary voice. "And you'll always be mine," he added, "and you'll always be my little boy, Brian. Suck on your thumb, that way I'll know you are just that." I felt myself regressing even more. Maybe Tommy saw something that I didn't. Maybe I was just a baby. Right now I felt like it. It made me feel better, forgetting for a moment that I was really a nine-year-old boy. When mom came home I went up to her crying, telling her about Tommy. "He thinks I'm a baby because I'm wearing diapers to school!" "You're not a baby just because you wear diapers." "Well I think I am," I said. "What, Brian?" "I feel this way every time something bad happens." I couldn't talk any more. My emotional weakness was resurfacing again as were my memories of the way dad treated me. Mom just hugged me for a moment and gave me a chance to stop crying. I regained my composure and told her what happened today. "I think Tommy has some complex over diapers," mom said. "He doesn't like to wear them like you do, even though he was also a bedwetter. I think he had some bad memories of when he wore them, kind of like when you didn't have diapers. If he can't accept the fact that you have to wear diapers to school, then maybe he isn't that much of a friend." "I thought I could trust Tommy!" "I thought I could trust some of my friends too," mom told me. "You just never know with some people, unfortunately." After dinner that evening (canned stew, a delicacy for us), we gathered around the TV. A commercial for Goodnites came on. I knew that they were available, but I hadn't thought about wearing them until the commercial reminded me of them. I asked mom if I could start wearing them to school since they were less conspicuous than the thicker, multi- layered cloth diapers that I had been wearing. "I don't know, Brian, I can't really afford to be buying them for you all the time. I know you'd like something that doesn't show so much, but since you already have diapers, I'm afraid you'll have to use those until we can figure something out." For now, I had no choice but to wear my thick, bulky diapers to school. I felt that it didn't matter anyway. Everyone would know sooner or later. Tommy would probably go around and blab it out to everyone now that he doesn't want to be friends with a "baby." I had one more wet diaper to change that evening. Jessica asked me if I wanted to try putting it on myself. I was still feeling regressive, so I told her to do it for me. I asked her to layer them on as thickly as she could fit them. I knew I was being irrational in my regression, but it made me feel better. For the entire weekend I wore my diapers like this and I let others do my changes. I was, after all, a baby as far as I was concerned. BRIAN THE BEDWETTER: PART 15 ---------------------------- Tommy and I didn't really talk to each other very much from the day I started wearing diapers to school. I could never quite figure it out, but Tommy had an aversion to diapers. By wearing them, I was becoming more fond of them whereas for Tommy they did not appeal to him. At this point it didn't seem like I had any real friends. I began to dislike school. I withdrew myself from others and I didn't even want to go out during recess, but I had to, according to Mrs. Agler. I just sat in my own section of the lunchroom and went to the corner of the playground. I saw Tommy a couple times, but he ignored me and paid attention to the other kids. I became an outcast. Whether or not anyone knew I was wearing diapers, nobody wanted to give me any attention. Every time I walked around the school I wondered who was looking at me and whether they noticed the bulge in my pants. What I really wanted to find out was who else wore diapers in the school. Every day when I went to the nurse's office to change I looked for other kids, but I never saw anybody who went into the little room or was coming out of it. It took me a little while to adjust to the routine of having to change myself each day. It seemed to take so much of my time during lunch to strip off my pants and then take off my diapers and put fresh ones on. One day when I left the changing room I saw another boy waiting out in front. He was carrying a knapsack. I only glanced at him as I walked by, and from what I could see, he didn't welcome my casual glimpse. I pretended to mind my own business as I walked by him, but I was paying more attention to the boy, since it appeared that he was the one leaving the poopy diapers in the trash. I went out into the hallway and then turned around. I saw the boy get up and walk towards the door to the small room. "That's him!" I thought. I continued to stand there and wait for him to come out. Maybe I could talk to him. Suddenly, I heard the deep, authoritative voice of Mr. Stinson. "May I ask what you are doing, young man?" I was stiff with nervousness as he rested his hand upon my shoulder. "I'm waiting for someone!" I said. "You do know that you are not to be in the hall at lunch," he said calmly, but sternly. "Yes, sir," I said as I went to the lunch room. I found a seat near the entrance. I wanted to watch for the boy to enter. I remembered what he looked like and I kept my eyes open for him. It was about seven minutes later that I saw him come through the door. I watched him sit down at another table across the lunch room. Like me, he was by himself. I got up and carried my lunch and my bag over to him. I asked him if he minded if I sit with him. "No, go ahead," he said, somewhat grudgingly, though. "What's your name?" I asked him. "Robby," he said. "I'm Brian." "Why did you look at me when you left the nurse's office?" he asked me. "I dunno, I look at everybody, just to see who they are." "Why did you sit down with me?" he asked me. "Uh, this was the only table," I said. There wasn't much said after that. In fact, he didn't say a word to me. He just sat there and ate his lunch before getting up and walking off to the playground. I had finished before he did, but I sat there and waited, hoping to start some kind of conversation. I knew what I wanted to say, but it wasn't appropriate. While the knapsack led me to believe he was the diaper wearer I was after, I may have been wrong. I made another effort to talk to him on the afternoon recess. I caught up with him and walked around. "Why do you keep following me?" he asked. "I think you'd be a good friend," I said. "Why? Nobody likes me," he said with his head hung low. "I do, I think you're pretty cool." "Really?" "Of course. Why do you think nobody likes you?" "I don't wanna say," he said. Now I was quite certain this was the other kid! I tried to get it out of him, but I couldn't find a way to appropriately bring up the topic of diapers. I thought that perhaps if he-- and only he-- saw that I wore them he would open up. I reached down underneath my shirt and pulled my plastic pants up so that more of them would be sticking out above my pants. I then walked ahead of him and purposely dropped the quarter I had with me on the ground. I sifted through the grass, pretending not to be able to find it. I had pulled my shirt up so that when I bent over Robby would see that I had plastic pants on. Just as I "found" the quarter, I heard Robby talk. "Hey! Are you wearing a diaper?" he asked me. "I can see it." The plan seemed to be working. "Oh, gosh, it is?!" I said, acting embarrassed. "I wear them, too," Robby said. "Really? I wonder who else wears them?" My faking really sucked here, but I don't think Robby picked up on it anyway. "I thought I was the only one, until I saw you bend over." Now things were starting to happen. I wanted to find out more, but Robby was not the talkative type, and the recess bell had just rung at about that time. I asked him if we could meet somewhere during recess. We agreed on a location and then parted ways for the day. I spent the rest of the day feeling excited over meeting the kid I had been hoping to find. As I sat in class during the next morning I thought about meeting Robby at recess. I had a lot of questions going through my mind, things I wanted to ask him. I eagerly awaited the sound of the bell. I even knew exactly which second the clock would be on when it sounded. I stared up at the clock and got up from my seat the second the bell sounded. I went out to the playground and waited for Robby. He came walking up to me about a minute or so later. I didn't even know what grade he was in. It turned out he was a third grader. He felt uneasy being around me being a fourth grader, but he seemed to get over this. We just talked about general stuff. I told him that I had an older sister. He mentioned he had an older brother. "We fight a lot," he said. "We fight about everything." "My sister and I get along most of the time," I told him. "Why do you wear diapers?" was Robby's next question, just right out of the blue. I wasn't prepared to tell him about my experiences just yet, but at least I knew how to explain it. "I wet the bed-- well, I wet all the time, what about you?" "I have encopresis," he said. That word was a mouthful. I asked him what it was called again. "Encopresis." That was a good word for a third grader. The term seemed familiar. Perhaps I read it in one of the articles that mom showed me on bedwetting." "What does that mean?" I asked him. "I can't go to the bathroom," he said. "Is it bedwetting?" "Sort of. Since I wear diapers I have to also have to wet in bed, too." "So is it bedwetting, like what I have?" I asked him. "You have enuresis," he said. "I know because my mom told me what it's called." I recalled reading that word, too. "How do you know all this?" I asked him. He was up on his terminology. "They're just words I know." He then proceeded to explain that encopresis meant that he pooped his pants a lot and needed to wear diapers for his condition. He seemed to be extraordinarily intelligent. He sometimes used words that I didn't know. I asked him what kinds of grades he got. "All A's," he said. It was no surprise. "I do okay in math and spelling, but I don't like reading," I said. There wasn't anything more said of wearing diapers or of our respective conditions that required each of us to wear them. I asked him if we could meet at the same table as we did yesterday. We agreed on this and returned to our classrooms as the bell rang. I had wet my diaper quite a bit during the morning and added to the wetness during a spelling test. As some of the words were called out I got thinking how Robby could probably spell these words. I was nervous, especially since I only got a C on the last spelling test and I usually did better. In my nervousness I emptied my bladder and felt the warm urine dribble down into my crotch. I knew it would be a heavy, soaked diaper to take off. Right as the bell rang I got up and went down to the nurse's office to change my diaper. Robby was already returning from the office and on his way to the lunch room. He acknowledged me as I walked by and told him I'd be right out. The diaper was just as wet as it had felt as it had been wedged tightly between my legs all morning. The layers were still warm from having just wetting in them before the bell rang. The humid, dank odor wafted up into my face as I pulled the layers out of my crotch. The diapers were wet all over the front and back into the crotch. It felt good to put dry diapers on. I stopped for a moment to think about what Robby's cleanup involved in this room. He had a great deal of wiping to do as I knew that mom and Jessica often had to spend a great deal of time cleaning me from messing my diapers at home. I looked into the trash and saw-- and smelled-- the dirty diaper that he had changed and the wipes he used. I wasn't prepared to handle a messy diaper. I had wipes with me, too, but I couldn't see myself having a messy accident at school and being comfortable with it. I couldn't carry around stinky, poopy cloth diapers and mom would shriek if I were to throw them away. I just had to make sure that I could retain my bowel movements until after school. Several minutes later I joined Robby out in the lunch room. He was about halfway finished when I started eating my lunch. I asked him how he got out of "the room" so fast. We each knew what we were talking about when one of us mentioned "the room." "My teacher lets me go five minutes early," he said. "They let you do that?" I asked. "My teacher used to let me run to the bathroom until a substitute teacher got me in trouble for it, and then they wouldn't let me go down there anymore. That's when I started wearing...you know." "Uh, huh," he said, knowing that I meant diapers, of course. "They said I had to go at the same time each day, but I can do it. The teacher stands out in the hall and watches me walk down there." "Does everybody know why you leave all the time?" "They all think I'm a diabetic and I have to get my insulin shot. They believe me, so it works." After we got away from the crowd in the lunch room Robby told me a few more things about his condition. "I wear even bigger, thicker diapers at home," he said. "They're like the ones you wear, plastic pants and everything. My mom has to put them on me." "Mine, too," I said. "Sometimes my--" I started to tell him that Jessica often changed me. Does anyone else change you?" I asked him. "Nope, just my mom. My dad has me do it when he's around since he thinks if I can get straight A's I should be smart enough to change my own diaper. He says the same thing to my brother, even though he doesn't get as good of grades." "Your brother?" I asked. "You mean, he..." "He wears diapers, too, for the same reason. Mom diapers us both every night before bed. He wears diapers to school, too. He's in the sixth grade. Do you have any brothers or sisters, besides Jessica?" "Just Jessica, and well-- now that you mention it-- she sometimes changes me." "You must have a really cool sister!" he said. "You guys don't fight, you say?" "Not often, just sometimes we disagree." "I even have to sleep in the same room as my brother!" he said. "Do you have separate beds?" I asked. "We do. We'd kill each other in our sleep if we didn't!" Robby was starting to loosen up. He still came across as this brainy, bookish kid (he wore glasses, too), but at least he sounded more like everyone else. Seeing that we hit it off well, I asked him if I could invite him over after school. "I can't, mom makes me do my homework first thing every day." "Maybe I can bring mine over and we can both do it." "You're in the fourth grade," he said. "We won't have the same books or anything." "I know, but still, maybe..." "I'll ask my mom, but don't count on it." I gave him my phone number and he gave me his. The bell was due to ring again so we headed back to class and agreed to meet at the afternoon recess. While I waited for Robby on recess that afternoon I saw Tommy walk by. He nodded to acknowledge me and said "hi" rather quietly. He didn't appear to have any friends since he decided to stop being my friend. After Robby and I walked around and went over to the swings I saw Tommy again. He acted like he wanted to talk to me. I got off the swing and walked over to him. "I guess it's okay if you wear diapers," he said. "I'm glad you think that," I thought. I really wasn't sure what he was getting at. "Do you want to be friends again?" he asked. "Sure," I said. We shook hands and walked over to the swings. I introduced Tommy to Robby. We spent the remaining three or four minutes on the swings before the bell rang. After Robby split off to head to his class Tommy and I walked back to class together, talking about stuff, nothing to do with diapers, though. Things were back to the way they were before as we sat together on the bus and walked to the apartments together. Tommy even came to my place and hung out there. Jessica asked me if I needed a change, but I told her to hold off. We went out back and walked along the creek-- actually out into the creek- - it was now a bed of rocks with only a little water trickling down from being so late in the season. I asked him why he decided he wanted to be friends again. "I was getting bored, and, well, I don't like a lot of the other kids. I just have a thing with the diapers, that's all." "Just pretend that I don't wear them." "I can't do that, because I know you do. I just try not to think about it." We walked a little farther, up to the next bridge and stopped there. Tommy told me something that maybe he had been needing to get off his chest. "Look, uh, maybe I'll feel better when I tell you this, but then I might hate myself, I don't know." "Tommy, I won't tell anybody, what is it?" "You cannot tell anyone this!" he emphasized. "Cross my heart. hope to die, stick a thousand..." "Okay, okay," he interrupted. "My dad used to beat me," Tommy started, "which is why him and my mom are divorced. Every time I wet the bed my dad would just spank me until my butt was numb. He spanked me for other things, too. He had this big ol' paddle, and, it was about three feet long, and wide, too." Tommy's speech was fragmented. He appeared to be holding back tears but managed to retain his composure. He continued. "My dad would holler and swear at me awhile and then tell me to go to my room and bend over. He'd go at it until his arm was tired, and he didn't get tired very quickly. Then he'd diaper me up and put my hands in restraints and send me to bed that way, just so I wouldn't try to take the diapers off. Whenever mom wasn't home make me wear them until I'd peed and pooped in them so much that they couldn't hold any more. He put them on really thick-- thicker than yours-- so I'd have to wear them longer." He paused for a moment. "What did your mom do?" I asked. "Did she ever do anything?" "She threatened to leave him if he didn't stop spanking me so much. He promised to stop, but then he'd be back at it again. Mom got mad one night and left, and she took me, still in my diapers. We went to a motel where she took my diapers off..." Tommy explained the divorce that followed and the gradual transition out of diapers. "I was still wetting, and at times I wanted the diapers back, but they reminded me too much of the way my dad treated me." I decided this was a good time to tell Tommy of my miserable experiences with my own dad. "I wet the bed, too, but I was never diapered. My dad neglected me more than anything else." I didn't really go into a lot of detail recounting my experiences. I was already discomforted enough by hearing Tommy's story, and retelling mine just brought back the same bad memories that I had been trying to erase from my mind, but could not. At least I understood why Tommy didn't really want to have anything to do with diapers. While the subjects of bedwetting and wearing diapers were ones with which we were both quite familiar, I avoided talking about it for Tommy's sake and tried to focus on other things to rebuild our friendship. BRIAN THE BEDWETTER: PART 16 ---------------------------- A lot of things changed in the months that followed. My friendship with Tommy was short-lived, but it wasn't because of any disagreements between us, but because he suddenly moved away. The day before Halloween, after we had planned to go trick-or-treating, I discovered that Tommy was not in class. At the time I thought that he may have been sick, so I really didn't think much of it. When I got home from school that day and walked into the apartment complex, I saw a rental moving van backed up to the building in which Tommy's apartment was located. As I got closer, I saw that it was right in front of Tommy's apartment. This was a big surprise to me. I walked over to the apartment and asked Tommy what was going on. "My dad found us," he said. "That's why we moved last time, so we're moving again." "Where are you going?" I asked. "I don't know. We're going a long ways, that's all I know." I talked to Tommy for a few minutes and then shook his hand. I said "goodbye" as I wiped a tear from my eye. "I'll call you or write you when I get there," he promised. I had only known Robby in school until Tommy moved away. Tommy and Robby didn't get along all that well, and I often had to choose between them when it came to deciding who to spend time with at school. Tommy didn't like the way Robby boasted about his grades and his intelligence, and I think the fact that Robby was in diapers bothered Tommy, too. Until Halloween, Robby and I had only seen each other at school. Since Tommy suddenly departed on me, I thought that perhaps Robby would like to join me in the annual neighborhood candy hunt. I invited Robby to go with me on Halloween for trick-or-treating. He accepted my invitation and agreed to be at my house at about 6:00, about when it started getting dark enough to go out. As he had never been to my house, I gave him directions. I had a wet diaper that needed to be changed first, before I was to go out and collect candy. Jessica was busy putting on her costume, so mom decided care of my wet diaper situation. While mom was in the middle of wiping my crotch dry, the door bell rang. It was only 5:30 and I didn't think any trick-or-treaters would be out so early. I didn't want anyone to answer the door until I least had diapers put back on me. Having everything on except her makeup, Jessica came out of the bathroom and went to the door. "Wait, don't open it yet, Jessica!" I shouted. "It's just Mindi, Brian," she said as she opened the door. I was still lying on the bed naked below my waist when Mindi came in. I looked up at her, she was dressed as a witch. "How did you know it was Mindi?" I asked. "Anybody could dress as a witch." "This is what I wear every year," Mindi said to me as she looked at me getting several clean diapers pulled up into my crotch. "Jessica's seen me wear this before, she knows it's me. By the way, what are you wearing, Brian?" "So far, just diapers," Jessica said. "Sorry, Brian, I couldn't resist." "He *is* wearing *something* for Halloween, isn't he?" Mindi asked. "I'm going as a ghost," I said. "A diapered ghost, how...original!" Mindi said with some amusement in her voice. "Let's see your ghost costume," Mindi asked as I stood up from the bed and pulled my plastic pants on. I reached for the bed sheet that I used for my costume. The sheet came off of my old bed when I lived with dad. Because it was so badly pee-stained, it was no good anymore, so mom used an unstained part of the sheet and cut it out and made openings for my eyes and my mouth. It was a cheap costume, but at least I had something to wear. Jessica went as a scarecrow. She wore old clothes that mom picked up for her at the thrift store. Mom didn't want to buy us costumes or rent them, so she made due with what she could afford. I was still in just my diapers and my shirt as I slipped the ghost "costume" over my head. It went down to about my knees. Mindi asked me if I was going to wear any pants, too. "Of course," I said. "It's too cold out there, for one thing!" It was still about fifteen minutes before I expected Robby to show up. I took the sheet off of me and put my pants on. I didn't even know what Robby would be wearing, so I didn't know if the next person to come to the door would be him or just another trick-or-treater. At around 6:00 a kid in a Batman costume came to the door. He said "trick- or-treat" and got a piece of the butterscotch candy that mom was handing out. I didn't know that it was Robby until he asked mom, "is Brian here?" "Yes, he is, who are you?" Robby then took off his mask. "I'm Robby, a friend of Brian's." "Oh yes, Brian was expecting you. Please come in." I introduced Robby to my mom, Jessica and her friend Mindi, though it was awkward to introduce them while they were in their costumes. I looked at the bed and noticed that my wet diapers were still sitting out. I felt embarrassed to have Robby see them out in the open, even though he wore them himself. I just ignored the fact that they were lying there on the bed, heavily soaked in urine. "Let's go, we're missing out on getting candy!" Jessica said as she and Mindi went out the door. "Don't be out late, girls," mom said. "And don't eat anything until you get home!" "We're gonna leave too, mom," I said. "Okay, be careful, and the same goes for you, too. Let me check your bag before you eat anything." "Okay mom, we won't be late," I said as mom handed me a flashlight. Robby and I started out on our quest for candy by going around the apartment complex and then moving on to some of the subdivisions nearby. This time we spent together gave us a chance to talk some more, too. We talked about normal, ordinary things and exchanged jokes, even dirty, bathroom- oriented ones. It surprised me that Robby, being so intelligent and bookish, could also act like a normal kid. We had been out for almost two hours, probably two and a half hours, when Robby suddenly stopped. I could see his silhouette against the distant street light and saw that he was bent over. He was dumping a load into his diapers. I could smell the odor emanating from his freshly messed-in diaper. "You took a dump, huh?" I said. "I did," he said. "I brought extra diapers along just in case. It's in my candy bag." Robby then volunteered to show me what his diapers looked like. He set his bag down and pulled out a large cloth diaper, a lot like the ones I wear. I shone the flashlight on it to see it. "I need to change my diapers," he said. "Here?" I asked, wondering if he meant that he was going to change on the street in the chilly late autumn air. "No, silly!" he said. "I'll need to do it at your house." "Do you want to keep trick-or-treating?" I asked. "You are walking kind of funny, you know" "It's all over my butt," he said. "It's kind of runny, like diarrhea. I feel it everywhere back there!" "Do you want to go back?" I asked him again. "Let's finish this street," he said. "then we'll go back." We went up to the next house and rang the door bell. While standing there waiting to answer, another group of kids came up behind us. It sounded like a bunch of girls. The person answered the door and handed out candy to everyone. While Robby and I walked away from the door and past the girls I overheard one of them saying "Phew! Somebody stinks around here!" "Maybe we should go back to your place," Robby said, sounding embarrassed by the girl's comment. It was getting late anyway and I knew that mom would get concerned if we stayed out any longer. I was also getting cold, so we passed by several potential candy stops and headed back to the apartments. Jessica and Mindi were already there. Mom was examining their candy bags and making sure what they collected was safe to eat. Mindi and Jessica turned on the TV and watched the ending of a scary movie that they were showing on TV tonight. Robby and I took off our costumes and set them on the bed. Robby asked me where my room was so he could change. "Right here," I said. "This is my bed." "Seriously?" he said. "You don't have a bedroom?" "I don't," I said, embarrassed to explain why. "I don't even have a bed of my own. This is my sisters' bed. I have to share the bed with her, and I got put into diapers so I wouldn't wet her bed." "Where can I change?" Robby asked. "My mom's room," I suggested. "How about your bathroom?" he requested. "It's right there," I pointed out to him. Robby carried his candy bag and the diaper he was toting in it into the bathroom with him. While I was waiting for him to change I had mom go through my candy bag. After mom finished looking at my treats, Robby came out of the bathroom with his candy bag. I wondered what he did with his soiled diaper. He didn't put it in *with* his candy, did he? Being the intelligent kid he was, he should have logistically planned for carrying a dirty diaper in the same bag that would also contain candy that I presumed he wanted to eat. Mom offered to check Robby's bag for him, so he emptied it out on the table and allowed mom to sift through it and check for suspicious treats. Fortunately there were none in his bag nor in anyone else's bag whose edibility was in question. "Where did you put your dirty diapers?" I asked him. "I left them in your bathroom," he said. "I didn't think about having to carry a poopy diaper with my candy." I asked mom if Robby could have a bag to carry his diapers in. Robby asked me if my mom knew he wore diapers. "Yes, I told her already," I said. "You don't have to worry about her finding out or anything. My sister knows, too." "Your sisters knows I wear diapers, too?!" he said, sounding alarmed. "She would have found out anyway," I said. "She's in the bathroom now taking her make-up off. Where in the bathroom did you leave your diapers?" "On the floor in the corner. I set them by the hamper." "Then she's probably seen your messy diaper." "I'm so embarrassed now!" he said, covering his face with his hands. "She sees my messy diapers every day! Heck, she sees my messy *butt* every day!" "But she's *your* sister! She doesn't even know me." "She does now, and she knows you wear diapers, so you have nothing to hide from anybody now. You can tell your mom and your brother about me if you want," I said. "Tell them I wear diapers, too." "Well, I already did," Robby confessed. "I thought about inviting you over after school this weekend, so whenever you're over, don't act like you have to keep a secret from anyone." "So I guess we're even," I said. "We don't have to keep secrets from each other, huh?" "That's a good thing," my mom said, having heard our conversation. "It's good that you two boys can trust each other, especially since you both wear diapers." Robby saw my teddy bear Whitey leaning up at the end of the bed. "Is this bear yours?" he asked me. "It is," I told him. "His name is Whitey." "I have one, too," he said. "I named mine Albert." Albert, as in Albert Einstein, I presumed. It surprised me that a kid like Robby would also have a teddy bear. I pictured him as a somewhat nerdy kid who spent all his time studying. Just because he wore glasses and got straight A's didn't mean he was a nerd. Maybe I still needed to get to know him some more. Mom offered to give Robby and Mindi each a ride home, so all four of us, including Jessica and I, climbed into the car with mom. I wanted to go along so I could find out where Robby lived. His house was about six or seven blocks away, so it would be a good walk between his place and mine whenever we visited each others' houses. As I saw Robby go to his front door, His brother opened it for him. I could see that his brother was wearing just a shirt and some thick, bulging diapers. They looked a lot like what I wore. Over the next week or so I learned to get to know Robby even more. He did devote more time to school work than most kids and some of his hobbies and interests were more intellectually oriented, but overall, he shattered my original perception of who he was. I went over to his house after school on the Friday following Halloween and met his older brother David and his mom. After he introduced me to them, he showed me his room, actually, his side of the room that he shared with David. I looked around and saw several items that reflected Robby's higher level of intelligence. He had a telescope, a poster of the solar system, a microscope and several books on science, mostly astronomy. He had several kids' science magazines neatly stacked on his desk. He also had some "real" toys and MAD magazines, so he also had his fun the way most kids do. He had Legos, the "expert" kind, the ones with plastic gears and other moving parts. I thought that these things belonged to his brother, but Robby claimed that they were his. His brother, being older, had fewer toys and kept most of his belongings in his closet. Most notably, being an encopretic, he also had plenty of diapers. He had a large box of disposable diapers plus several cloth diapers and plastic pants in various places. There was even a well-soiled disposable diaper on the floor by his bed. Robby was quite embarrassed as he tried to nonchalantly kick them under the bed out of view. I assumed that it was one of Robby's diapers. "That was my brother's diaper," he explained. "He changes his own diapers and leaves them out half the time! It's so disgusting!" I wanted to remind Robby that he left a diaper of his own out in the open at my house, but I refrained from saying anything about it. I was quite familiar with the smell of the room. It smelled of pee, poop, and powder, a lot like the smell in our house. Jessica wouldn't invite others over-- except for Mindi-- because of the smell and the presence of diapers everywhere. Robby's room was a little smaller than the front room at our apartment, and since two diaper-wearers shared the room, it smelled even stronger. Robby's mom then came into the room. Robby asked me if I could leave as his mom was going to put him into his cloth diapers for the rest of the day. I respected his privacy and stood outside the room and waited for his mom to do her work. I wanted to see what was happening, but all I could sense were the sounds. I hadn't really paid specific attention to the sounds associated with a diaper change, but since this was the only way I could tell what was happening, I realized that not only were diapers visually appealing to me, but had aural qualities as well. I heard Robby unzip his pants and drop them to the floor. Next I heard the tapes of his diaper being ripped away. I wanted to sneak a peak as I wanted to know what it looked like when someone changed me and cleaned up after my messy diapers, but I was afraid of getting caught if I were to look. I heard his mom wiping away the sticky mess that had been plastered all over his butt. I thought of how good it felt to feel someone wiping away the poop and making my butt clean again and ready for the next diaper. Next came the sound of his diaper being crumpled into a wad. I could picture everything that was happening. I knew when Robby was getting his cloth diapers pinned onto him as they didn't make a lot of noise. I knew when he was putting his plastic pants on as these had a very distinct and familiar sound. I heard them crinkle and rustle as he ran them up his legs and let them come to a stop around his waist. Lastly, I heard the waistband snap tightly and firmly around his body. His mom came walking out with the dirty diaper folded up in her hand. She said that I could go back into Robby's room since he was done. I went in there and saw Robby standing there in his thick cloth diapers and plastic pants. He didn't appear to be too embarrassed having me see him. "I figure you wear diapers, too, so it's okay for you to see me like this," he said. "I just don't like it when people see me totally naked, but once I have my diapers on, it's okay. This is all I wear after school and on the weekends, just diapers and a shirt. My brother does the same." "You just stay inside all day in your diapers?" I asked him. No wonder he did so well in school, he sat around with his bum diapered while doing his homework. No bathroom breaks! "Yeah, my pants don't fit over these diapers, and besides, I don't need them since I don't go outside very much anyway. I find a lot more fun things to do inside, except at night when I take my telescope out." David came into the room a few minutes later and, without hinting at any took his pants off. He then started undoing the tapes on his disposable and let it drop to the floor. Since he didn't ask me to leave, I didn't. I was naturally curious about what his brother looked like when he changed his diapers, so I sat there and watched as he dropped the diaper to the floor, exposing his bare butt. I expected to see a large amount of poop, but there was nothing more than a skid mark, presumably from a previous dirty diaper. The front of the diaper was stained yellow, however. All along David probably didn't suspect that I was watching, even though Robby knew that I was. As Robby was 12 years old and in the process of getting his "developments," his genitals were visibly larger, which I couldn't help but to notice, even from seeing him from his back side. I could see that he had an erection as he drew a clean disposable diaper up into his crotch. The sight of his bare buttocks was quickly replaced with the view of a white, padded derriere. He fastened the tapes and then picked up his old diaper and carried it out of the room. He didn't seem to mind that I was sitting there the whole time, though I didn't let on that I was observing his diaper change so closely. I looked at Robby. He asked me why I was so intently watching his brother change his diaper. "I dunno," I said, now feeling embarrassed. "I guess I've never seen anyone other than myself in diapers...and now you. I did see Tommy in them once," I digressed as I told Robby of the time Tommy had diarrhea and had to wear diapers since he pooped up his own bed and had to sleep with Jessica and me in her bed. "Anyway," I continued, "I just sort of wanted to see what it looked like putting one on, you know?" "I understand," Robby said. "I remember watching my brother get changed when I was only three. He was six, and I knew that he had a problem and shouldn't have been in diapers at his age, but he was, and I think this is why I like wearing them, even though I have to wear them anyway for my encopresis. That's what he has to wear them for, you know." I was in need of a diaper change of my own. I was wet and messy. I told Robby that I needed to change my diaper. he told me that I could go ahead and change, and he would leave the room if I wanted him to. "My sister sees me in diapers every day," I said. "I don't think it matters much if you see me in them or without them." I proceeded to strip off my pants, then the wet, stinky diapers. I wiped myself and powdered up my rear end in the middle of Robby's room. Just as I was layering the next set of diapers together, Robby's mom walked in and saw me buck naked! I held my diapers in front of me as she looked at me. "Oh, I'm sorry," she said, closing the door. I continued with my self-diapering and pinned my diapers into place. I pulled my plastic pants up and then picked up my soiled diapers. Jessica usually handled my soiled diapers when I got home from school. Since I was at Robby's house, I had to take care of them myself. I walked out of Robby's room and went into the bathroom to shake the excess fecal matter into the toilet. I then folded up the soiled diapers and put them in my bag, knowing they would stink it up as there was a lot of poop smeared all over them. Robby's mom returned to the room while I was putting my used diapers in my bag. I was still in just the diapers as I didn't bother to put my pants back on just yet. "It's okay if you just want to go around in your diapers here," Robby's mom said. "It's all my two boys ever wear." "Did you know I wore them?" I asked his mom, even though Robby had already told me. "Yes, Robby told me," she said, "so there's no need to feel ashamed about wearing them." Having established such trust with Robby and his mom, I decided to stay in just my diapers along with Robby and David. Robby showed me some of his science stuff and other things. I stayed there until about 5:30, when Robby's mom took me home. I went home that day feeling very confident about the future of our friendship. I looked forward to being able to wear diapers without shame in Robby's home. Hopefully he would also feel the same way when visiting my house. BRIAN THE BEDWETTER: PART 17 ---------------------------- Thanksgiving was fast approaching. Thanksgiving had brought back many memories for me, mainly because it was one of the few times that I got to see mom and Jessica when I was living with dad. As I went to bed the night before, I began to feel upset as I thought about the Thanksgiving from the year before. While I had good memories of the day, more of my memories of the day were not so cherished. I set the scene in my mind: I was back at the cold, drab and dingy apartment where I lived with dad. I woke up in a wet bed that morning, which was nothing unusual, but it always left me feeling hopeless. I knew that if I didn't change my sheets they would just sit there all day and still be cold and damp by the time I got home that evening. My underpants were wet all over, so I changed out of them into a clean, but gray, tattered, urine-stained pair of briefs. Even my shirt was wet, so I changed it, too. I didn't bother putting my pants on until we were ready to leave that day. Dad was still asleep. I looked at his clock and saw that it was 10:00. The drive to grandma's house was long, almost two hours, so I knew we had to get going if I wasn't going to be late for the big dinner. More important to me than the big dinner, though, was seeing mom and Jessica for those few precious hours. I was looking forward to this long-awaited day. Not since Easter had I seen my mom, and I was really missing her. I wasn't sure that the laundry mat was even open, so I didn't count on going down there to wash my sheets. Luckily, there were some clean ones in the closet, so I changed them while waiting for dad to get up. I watched the clock closely as it read 10:15, then 10:25, then 10:40. While I waited for dad to wake up I sat at the window and stared out at the overcast sky. The window was dirty and had a crack through it. There was a draft blowing through at the sill where I rested my arms, all the while thinking about and hoping that eventually I would see mom later in the day. Finally, at almost 11:00, dad got up. He didn't even bother to shower or shave. he pulled his clothes on and looked at me sitting at the window. "You seein' your mama today," he said. "Get your pants on and let's go." He looked at the pile of wet sheets in the floor. "Wet again, eh?" I normally didn't say anything to him when he commented on my bedwetting. On this Thanksgiving day, all I said was "the laundry mat's closed, huh dad?" "Yeah, probably," he mumbled. Before I went out to the car I grabbed a couple changes of underwear just in case I had a problem. I then grabbed my jacket and went out to his car. As his car didn't start easily on cold mornings such as this, dad threw a fit of swearing as he repeatedly turned the ignition. "Dad, it's not starting!" I whined. "Will you be quiet!" he snapped. "This damn thing always starts!" Eventually, it did start. We might even get heat if we're lucky. It felt nice to be on the road. A cold, steady rain was coming down as the wipers on dad's car worked just well enough to see safely. The mileage sign out of town indicated the long drive of 104 miles to the town in which my grandparents lived. I looked at the fuel gauge, which read less than half. "Don't we need gas, dad?" "We'll make it," he said, but not in such a way as to assure me that we would arrive at our destination. Rather, it was his way of telling me to shut up. There was little conversation between dad and I on the drive. He listened to the radio until we were too far from our town to tune his station. Then we talked a little, though such talk did little to form any kind of bond between dad and me. I knew we were getting close to my grandparents' house when I saw the familiar curve and the hill just before the town. At the top of the hill I could usually see the water tower sticking up above the town they lived in, but not today as it was snowing by this time. As I had only seen this town on holidays, it always seemed deserted since everything was closed. We were still a couple of miles from my grandparents' house. The first thing I planned to do upon arriving was to use the toilet. It was hard for me to sit in a car for over a hundred miles with such a weak bladder. The pressure was mounting inside of me. In spite of being so close to my grandparents' house, I had to relieve the pressure, so I let some of my pee to spill into my underwear. Just then we pulled up to my grandparents' house. Dad just dropped me off and went on to visit my Uncle Edward in the next town as he always did. Dad never even bothered to come in and say hello to the family. I kept my extra underwear stashed underneath my jacket as I didn't want anyone to know that I was carrying it, much less the reason why. Everybody wanted to give me a hug, but I told everybody I would hug them after I used the bathroom. With my jacket still on I went into their bathroom and quickly unzipped my pants to let the rest of my pee drain into the toilet. I then stripped off my pants and my wet underwear. I changed into one of the two pairs that I had brought along. I thought about wearing them both for extra absorbency, but then they'd both be soaking wet anyway had I wet in them and I would have had no more to wear. It was at times like this when I wished that I could have worn a diaper. I slipped my pants back on, then I stuffed the wet underpants into the sleeve of my jacket, where hopefully nobody would see it as I laid it on the bed in the spare bedroom. I stuffed the remaining clean pair in the other sleeve. I went out to the living room and made my round for hugs. I started with my grandpa, then my grandma, and then Jessica. I hugged them each for as long as I could and savored the embrace. I saved mom for last as we always talked alone for a few minutes so that I could tell her how things were. I tried to tell her dad was treating me okay, but the truth was, he wasn't, and mom knew it. I started crying. Mom comforted me as she walked me back into the bathroom to help me get washed for dinner. She normally told me to take a bath first, but as I arrived late and dinner was ready, mom just scrubbed my face and my arms and told me to bathe afterwards. I wasn't sure whether to tell mom I was wetting the bed. I almost told her, but I was afraid of what she might do or say. Besides, there was little that she could have done about it then anyway. I never even let mom see my stained underwear. I got over my emotions and settled down at the table sitting between mom and Jessica. As we held hands while Grandpa said Grace, I didn't want to let go of mom and Jessica. Thanksgiving dinner at my grandparents' was, no doubt, the best dinner I ever had. I savored every bite and I always ate plenty. After dinner, mom told me to take a bath and get cleaned up. We then played games and looked at pictures for the afternoon. It was so hard to look at some of them. Many of them were of only mom and Jessica. I felt that I should have also been in those pictures, too. Some were of our family before the divorce, and they, too, were difficult to look at without becoming emotional. I tried hard to keep my emotions high and to enjoy this day, but as the darkness of evening approached, I knew dad would come to pick me up and take me back home with him in the cold, wet snow, returning to that awful apartment building. The hardest part was saying goodbye to everybody. I didn't want to leave at all, unless it were to go back with mom and Jessica. I couldn't continue to reminisce about this day any longer as it was just too painful for me to think about what it was like to leave the warm, cozy, and loving atmosphere of my grandparents' place and have to return to the squalid conditions of my dad's apartment. I sat up and started crying. Jessica then woke up. "What's wrong, Brian?" she asked. "Nothing," I said. "No, something's bothering you, what is it?" "Thanksgiving," I sobbed. "What? We're going to grandma and grandpa's house tomorrow, you should be excited! We'll have lots of good food and fun and games..." "It wasn't that way last year. I hated having to leave there and go back home with dad!" "That's all behind you now, Brian," Jessica said as she put her hand on my shoulder. "This year, you get to come back home with us." Jessica handed me a tissue and hugged me, trying to get me to stop crying. She reached around me and picked up Whitey. "Here's Whitey, he makes you feel better, doesn't he?" "He's sad, too," I sobbed. I then got up and went into mom's room, still crying. Mom woke up and asked me what was wrong. "I love you, mom," I said as I hugged her. "I love you, too, Brian. What's wrong?" Mom then turned on the light and sat up. We spent the next fifteen to twenty minutes talking about my feelings and the bad things that Thanksgiving reminded me of. "It will be a lot different this year," mom said. "Just think, you always wanted to come home with us. This year, you get to do just that. That should make you feel better." Mom then explained the holiday itself and told me that this year, I really had a lot to be thankful for. I agreed very wholeheartedly as we talked about 'then and now'. Mom dried my tears and kissed me on the forehead before sending me to bed again. She gave me an affectionate pat on the bottom as I climbed off the bed. I hadn't been this emotionally upset in awhile, and I thought I was over it, but I knew now that certain events would always trigger flashbacks to worse times. It was enough to make me wet my diapers. As I came back to the bed, Jessica asked me if mom made me feel better. "She did," I said. "Are you okay now?" "Yes, but..." "What?" "I need to be changed," I said humbly. Jessica got up and grabbed several diapers from the drawer. She unpinned my freshly soaked diapers and wiped me dry. She placed the thick stack of diapers beneath me and pinned them up. I asked her to put my plastic pants on for me. "Whatever you say, little brother," she said. She grabbed a clean pair and pulled them taught over the diapers. "How does Whitey feel?" she asked me before turning the light off. "I think he feels better, too." With that, Jessica turned off the light and went back to sleep. It took me a little while to fall asleep, but at least I had gotten my feelings out and thought of what mom had said, that I really did have a lot to be thankful for. I started to have an imaginary conversation with Whitey until I nodded off. I woke up the next morning knowing that it was Thanksgiving. Already I felt better as this time I woke up in a dry bed, even in dry diapers. The house was small, but warm and comfortable. This time things would be different, and better. By 9:00 everybody was awake, and by 10:00 we were ready to go. As I was still dry, I told Jessica that I didn't need a change. I just changed into a fairly decent-looking shirt and then slipped my pants on. Mom made sure to bring along several diapers for me since I would most likely need them at some time during the day. As we went outside, I looked around and noted that the weather was a lot like it was last year. The overcast sky reminded me of the way things looked from looking out the window at dad's place. It felt cold enough outside that it might even snow today as we walked out to the car, which mom already warmed up. I took the seat in front with her while Jessica rode in back. Even my teddy bear Whitey came along with us. I asked mom if Jerry was going with us. "He wanted to, but he has a family of his own. Maybe by Christmas he'll do something with us. Who knows?" The drive from this side of my grandparents' house was a little shorter, 95 miles according to the sign. It was nice to talk with mom and Jessica instead of listening to the crackle and static of an AM station on a cheap car radio. The road seemed smoother, too, which may have been because mom had a better car, or it may have seemed that way because I was in a better state of mind this year. In any case, I was looking forward to this Thanksgiving to the best one yet. About halfway along the trip I felt a need to wet. I knew I would be wet by the time we got to my grandparent's house, so I asked mom if she could change me when we got there. "Are you wet now?". mom asked. "No, but I will be soon." "It won't be to much farther," mom said. "I can change you in the spare bedroom there." It didn't take long for the mild pressure in my bladder to build and become too uncomfortable to hold back as it built up. I knew where we were going and I could stand to be in wet diapers for a little while. I decided to let it pour out. I felt my pee warm up my crotch and splash around in my diapers. The thick layers soaked it all up as I continued to let the stream run. The layers on the front drew it in like a sponge. I asked mom how far we had to go still. "About forty, forty-five miles." I thought we were closer than this, I thought. "How long is that?" "Under an hour," mom said. "I just wet." "I'll change you as soon as we get there, okay honey?" mom assured me. At that time the road was dry and clear, but then the snow started to come down. It started out as a flurry and mom could still drive full speed for about another fifteen miles. Suddenly, it turned into a driving blizzard and mom had to slow to thirty-five miles per hour. We still had over thirty miles to go. It looked like another hour of this was ahead of us at the pace mom had to go. I wanted some dry diapers put on me. "Can you stop and change me?" I asked mom. "I don't want to stop in the snow, Brian; we might get stuck," mom said. "Maybe Jessica can change you back there. You have enough room." "In the car? While we're moving?" Jessica asked. "Sure, I'm not moving very fast, anyway," mom said as she carefully kept the car steady on the slippery roadway. Mom told Jessica to get some diapers ready while I climbed into the back seat. I climbed between the two seats in the front and laid myself down on the back seat. As it was rather confining, Jessica had to help me get my pants off. She then worked off my plastic pants and diapers and changed them, all while the car was in transit. Jessica had the clean set of diapers laid out as she slid them underneath me and pinned them on. She pulled my plastic pants up over them. I then put my pants back on and returned to the front. Because of the snow, the drive to my grandparents' house took over two hours. I clutched onto Whitey as he assured me that we would all get to my grandparents' house safely. I knew we were close to my grandparents' house now as we passed through the seemingly deserted downtown area. We took a few more turns and finally made it at last! I kissed Whitey to thank him for his assuring words of comfort. "See? We made it," he seemed to say to me. Jessica grabbed the paper bag in which my diapers were contained and carried it in with us as we trudged through the snow in their front yard. Grandpa was at the door ready to greet us and to take our coats. "I'll take that for you," Grandpa said as he offered to take the bag. "Did you bring something along?" Grandpa asked, thinking it was food for the dinner. "No, they're just...supplies," mom said evasively. "Just set it in with the coats, dad," mom instructed my grandpa. "Do they know I wear diapers?" I whispered to mom. "No, they don't," mom answered. "I won't tell them unless you want them to know." Mom went into the kitchen to greet my grandma, who was quick to note mom's weight loss. I followed right behind mom as I went into grandma's kitchen, taking in the delicious aroma of turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy and all the other food that we were about to eat. Grandma was busy carving the turkey when she set her knife down and looked at me and smiled. "Oh, hi, Brian, sweetie!" she said as she held her arms out and bent down and gave me a big hug and a kiss. "I sure do wish I could see you more." As she hugged me she patted my lower back, when she realized that I had diapers on underneath. She released her embrace as she felt my rear a couple more times. "Oh, my," she said. "Are those diapers you have on underneath, Brian?" grandma asked me. "Uh huh," I said. Grandma turned to mom and asked her about it. "He has a wetting problem," mom said, acting like she felt guilty for having me wear them. "I decided that diapers were the best way to handle his situation." "Okay," grandma shrugged, "well, I hope he's okay wearing them. The poor kid's been through some rough times as it is, God bless him." "He's fine, mother," mom said. "He's actually a lot happier to be wearing diapers now. No more wet sheets, no more embarrassing accidents..." "But wearing diapers is just as embarrassing for him, isn't it?" grandma said. "It's either that or wet pants," mom replied. "At least nobody has to know when his diapers are wet." "Yes, but they sure do make his pants bulge. You really got that boy padded up!" "They're cloth diapers, mother. I didn't want to keep buying him disposables all the time." "I'm just concerned that his friends may laugh at him." "His best friend wears them, too," mom said. "Oh. What about the other kids at school?" grandma asked. "So far nobody has said anything. Oh, a couple kids do, but Brian ignores them, they're just kids he doesn't like anyway." "And you have to still change him, too," grandma added. "I doubt many mothers have to do this for their nine-year- old boys." "You may be surprised, mother," my mom said. "I don't mind changing him, even Jessica changes him." "Jessica changes him, too?" grandma asked in a more rhetorical, but surprised sense. Grandma bent down and hugged me again as if to give me sympathy. "I feel a lot better now, grandma," I said. "Really, I do." "You certainly do look a lot better, Brian," grandma said. "Your clothes are clean and you're clean, and you look a lot happier. You're smiling! I'm glad to see how things have changed for you, even if you do wear diapers." "Me, too, grandma. I'm just so glad to be away from my dad. I have a lot to be thankful for," I shed some tears, but they were tears of joy this time. "That's what Thanksgiving is all about, dear," grandma said as she went over to Jessica and gave her a hug and a kiss. Soon we were all seated at the table and enjoying the feast. I even had a second helping of turkey and mashed potatoes and still had room for dessert, though we didn't eat any until later. The rest of the afternoon passed as it usually did on Thanksgiving visits. We started out with playing some of grandpa's favorite games. He then showed us several pictures as he enjoyed exhibiting his photography. I could tell that I wasn't as happy in years past, judging from my facial expressions. Bad memories resurfaced, but when I thought about how things were better this time around, I didn't succumb to negative feelings. As it had been snowing heavily that day, Jessica and I went out into the back yard and played awhile. We had friendly snowball fights and built snowmen. My wintertime fun was ended early that afternoon, though, when I bent down to heave a large snowball up while building a second snowman, or "snow woman," as Jessica insisted. I heard my pants rip in the seat. "Shit!" I said. "What? Did you?" Jessica asked. "Did you just shit?" "No, I said 'shit' because of my pants. They ripped!" Jessica sighed as she shrugged. "Well, let's go back in the house. So much for making a wife for our snowman," she remarked, leaving behind the unfinished "snow woman." I ran into the house and showed mom what had happened. "Oh, dear, your pants ripped!" mom said as she examined the gaping tear in the seat, exposing my thick diapers underneath. "I can fix your pants," grandma offered. "You will have to take them off, of course," she said. I had to remove my pants in front of my grandparents, which I felt a little embarrassed about doing, but it was the only way I could have grandma sew my pants back up. I really didn't think a lot of it after I took my pants off since I was used to removing them several times a day, anyway, and it seemed like everyone else had seen me in diapers, so having my grandparents see me my thick, bulging white diapers and plastic pants them wasn't such a big deal to me. At least I could trust them not to laugh at me or ridicule me for wearing diapers. Jessica made a comment, however. "Somehow, you always wind up in just your diapers wherever we go," she said, referring to the incident at Jerry's family reunion earlier this year. "I hope he's comfortable like that," grandma said. "I'd hate to see him catch a cold." "He's used to it," mom said. "It's all he wears at home." "Why don't you get warmed up by the fire," grandpa suggested. Grandpa offered us some of grandma's apple pie with some hot chocolate to enjoy while sitting by the fire that grandpa had built in the fireplace. Grandpa had tuned into a football game on TV while grandma worked on sewing the seam back up on the seat of my pants. Just as I was getting warm and comfortable I peed and pooped into my diapers, depositing a large load of each and making a big, wet mess of my diaper. The front of them was drenched and I felt the poop clinging to my rear as it smeared around inside of the diaper. I told mom that I needed a change. I got up from the cozy fire as mom led me into the bedroom where I lay down on the bed. Mom took off my poop-filled diapers and worked at wiping my butt clean. I watched her reach into the sack and grab six diapers as she folded them together and then bunched them up into my crotch. I was pinned into them and given a clean pair plastic pants. Mom gathered up the used wipes and took them into the bathroom with my soiled diapers while I went back out to the fireplace and took my seat next to Jessica. Grandma offered me a blanket to cover up with while I was sitting there. I didn't know whether her intent was for me to keep me warm or so that I wouldn't have to sit there with my diapers showing. Grandma handed me my pants when she finished them up, but I decided to just stay in my diapers for the rest of the day as I preferred to do at home. As I took the last sip of my second cup of hot chocolate, a weather advisory scrolled across the bottom of the TV screen. It indicated that heavy snows would continue throughout the evening. Dozens of slide-offs had been reported in the area and road conditions were so dangerous that travel was strongly not recommended. Mom didn't need to go to work tomorrow or over the weekend, so there was no pressing need for us to get back tonight. She called Jerry to tell him that we were staying so he wouldn't worry about us. "Looks like you'll be staying here tonight," grandpa said. "Where will we sleep?" I asked. "You'll all share the guest bed," grandma told me. "That's okay, Brian and Jessica are used to it," mom mentioned. "What?" grandma asked. "You mean they sleep in the same bed?" "They have to share a bed," mom explained. "Brian had no bed after Keith sold it along with other things to pay for his legal bills. Since Brian moved in with us, he's had to share with Jessica. They've gotten used to it, but I think Brian would still like a bed of his own." "Someday you will, Brian," grandma assured me. Before we went to bed that evening, I had wet my diapers again and they were in need of a change first, so mom brought in some freshly washed diapers straight from the dryer. They were still warm and felt as good and as soft as ever when mom put them on me. I was the first to crawl into the bed with Whitey. It was decided that since I wouldn't be getting up to go to the bathroom that I should sleep in the middle. Mom then came from the bathroom after having changed into a night gown that she borrowed from grandma. Jessica climbed into bed still fully dressed as she had nothing else to wear and was too modest to remove her pants. It took me awhile to get to sleep being wedged between mom and Jessica. In a strange way it excited me to be stuck in bed between them since I was heavily diapered and I couldn't easily get up for the bathroom if I had to. I felt very snug and secure as I held onto Whitey and eventually fell sleep. BRIAN THE BEDWETTER: PART 18 ---------------------------- Just as I was used to doing at home, I woke up in wet diapers after a night of sleeping in my grandparents' guest bedroom while having to share the bed with not only Jessica, but also mom. They were both asleep as I opened my eyes to the morning light. I felt my drenched diapers rubbing underneath me as I sat up. I didn't want to lie in bed and wait until mom and Jessica woke up, so I climbed over Jessica, who was oblivious to having my padded rear end in her face as she continued to sleep soundly. I walked into the front room and saw grandpa reading the newspaper. "Good morning!" he said. He then offered me the comics page. I sat down on the couch and read the comics while waiting for grandma to get breakfast ready. "Good morning, Brian," she greeted me as she walked into the living room. "Mornin' grandma," I said. "Did you sleep okay?" she asked me. "Yeah, I did." "How's your diaper?". "It's wet," I answered shyly. "I'm used to it. though," I added. "Oh, your poor sweet child," she said sympathetically. "Do you need to be changed, dear?" she asked in a semi- baby-talk voice. "I can wait," I replied. "If you want, I can change you," grandma offered. "I've changed you before. You look awfully wet, you know, and you would probably feel better to get those wet diapers off." I went ahead and had grandma change me. She grabbed my clean diapers from the dryer and took me into her bedroom where we used her bed for changing me. She pulled off the plastic pants and removed the pins as she gently pulled the pee-soaked diapers out of my crotch. I felt funny to have my grandma see me lying naked on the bed in front of her. I held my hands over my genitals. "You're just like any little boy I've changed, Brian," grandma said, referring to the two boys she babysat for the lady across the street. Grandma gently wiped me dry and placed the clean diapers underneath me, drawing them up into my crotch. Grandma demonstrated having a great deal of expertise in diaper changing as she seemed to do everything in one continuous fluid motion. She pulled my plastic pants up on me and then left the room to wash up and serve breakfast. Jessica and mom had just gotten up and joined grandpa and me at the kitchen table. Grandma fixed us each some bacon, eggs, hot cakes and orange juice. As we anticipated a long drive home on the icy and treacherous highway. We waited until my other diapers were washed and dried before leaving. It was hard to say goodbye to my grandparents, but at least this time I wasn't going back with my dad and dreading the return to the deplorable living conditions he put me in. Even though the road was dangerous and it kept us on edge with much concern for our safety, I was relaxed and feeling very good about how much better this Thanksgiving had gone. About a month later, we were taking the same 104-mile wintry drive to my grandparents' house as it was now Christmas. I reflected on some of the memories I had from past Christmas seasons, but I felt better this time and didn't let my emotions take over so much. We had a Christmas tree this year, and even a few presents, things I never saw at dad's place. I didn't care what the presents were, just as long as I was going to have a good Christmas for once. This time Jerry was going, and he was doing the driving in his trusty four-wheel-drive rig. Mom even brought along even more diapers this time in the event that we would be spending the night at my grandparents' again, though the weather was more favorable coming and going this time. I did need to have one diaper change along the way, which Jessica did in the back seat. As it was a messy diaper, the smell of it filled the car, forcing Jessica to open one of the windows. The winter air blowing in felt so cold on my bare legs as I was lying there in only diapers. At least the stench-laden air was cleared the stink out of the car, and the heater helped to restore the heat that was lost from deodorizing the vehicle. We got to my grandparents' house in about two hours and got ourselves settled. Mom introduced Jerry to my grandparents, who were cordial to his presence. Jessica and I played grandpa's Scrabble game while we waited for dinner to be served. After eating a dinner of turkey and mashed potatoes-- almost the same dinner we had on Thanksgiving-- it was time for presents. I got a couple Lego sets, some toy cars and some books. I even got a new pair of pants, which I noticed were large enough to accommodate my diapers as they wouldn't have fit me without diapers. Even without the presents, I felt a lot happier this year. Everyone was happy as we all received fine gifts. I felt that I had been getting the best gift of all-- love-- from everyone. When the gift opening was over, grandma said "That's it, no more presents!" Grandpa then got up from his chair. He said "Wait a minute, there is one more present...and it's for you, Brian!" He looked at me and smiled, knowing that I was getting excited. I wondered what else I was getting for Christmas. Grandpa told me it was too big to wrap and he was afraid that if he brought it into the house I might see it beforehand, so he told me to get my coat on and follow him out to his work shop, where he was hiding this present. Everybody else followed behind, also wondering what this present was. Grandpa unlocked the door to his shop and told me to go in and turn on the light. I reached for the light switch and flipped it on and saw the present that had been awaiting my arrival. It was a bed! A bed of my own! I never thought the day would come, but it did! There was an unassembled frame with a headboard, plus a mattress, covers, pillows, and pillow cases. Being the bedwetter that I am, there was also a rubber sheet to go along with it. I turned around and hugged my grandpa. I was crying tears of joy. "Merry Christmas, Brian!" he said. "Oh, Grandpa! Thank you! This is the best present I've ever gotten!" "Even better than a toy, wouldn't you say?" mom remarked. "Yes, Mom, it is!" I hugged her, still crying tears of joy. "This is another reason Jerry came with us," mom said. "So we can take your bed back with us tonight. Won't that be great. honey? Your own bed!" Jerry and grandpa both carried my bed and its parts out to Jerry's truck and loaded it in the back. We ate some ice cream and pie just before taking off. We needed to leave early since Jerry needed some time to see his own family. I gave my grandparents each a big hug and a kiss before leaving. When we got back, mom dropped off Jessica and I while she went on to visit with Jerry's family for awhile. After we'd been home for a couple hours, mom came back home and had Jerry with us to assemble the bed. Since our apartment was so small, the obvious question was where it would go. The only place we had room for it was in place of the old couch. Jerry moved it out of the way and set it outside for the time being while he assembled the bed frame. After a few minutes of working on it he brought in the mattress and laid it down. Mom then placed the rubber sheet on top of it and the covers, and finally, the pillows. I was so happy to look at the bed and to know that it was mine! I plopped myself down on the blue bed spread and lay there, looking forward to my first night in my own bed. Mom looked at me and saw how happy I was. "Do you like your new bed, Brian?" "I like it!" I exclaimed. "What do you say to Jerry for putting it together?" "Thank you, Jerry!" I said. For the first time, I gave him a hug, too. "You're very welcome, Brian," he said. He then turned to mom and said, "honey, this Christmas isn't over yet." "Oh? Is there something else?" "Yes," he said to her softly. "Let's go outside." I wasn't sure what Jerry was talking about, but I figured he just wanted some time alone with mom after being with my family and his family all day. It was getting late and I needed to be put into my night diapers which I had Jessica do since mom was outside with Jerry. "So you got your own bed," Jessica said while she was taking the pins out of my diapers. "Yes, it'll be nice to sleep in my own bed tonight!" "Yes, it will," she said, "for me, too." I knew Jessica was just as tired of having me in her bed every night as I was of having to sleep in it with her. She pulled up my plastic pants and even tucked me into my bed. She then handed Whitey to me before climbing into her own bed. Mom came in a few minutes later and explained that she was helping Jerry load the old couch into the back of his four-wheel drive. From what I observed, and for how long they stood out in the cold, he and mom were doing more than just loading a couch. As I lay there and rolled around in my diapers, feeling the brand new sheets so warm against my legs, I enjoyed the space and the freedom that I had at long last. There was one thing I was still wondering about. I no longer needed to wear diapers for the purpose of protecting Jessica's bed from my overnight accidents. I had a new bed of my own now. Why would it be any less worthy of protection? If anything, it was even more worthy of keeping clean and dry as it was new, and it was mine. Jessica agreed that I should continue to wear diapers for this reason, plus she added that I looked cute in diapers. I had to agree that I did look cute in them. I had reasons of my own to continue wearing diapers. I felt so comfortable and secure in them. Most of all, they helped me to retain my youth and to once again, have the chance to be the child I wish I could have been the first time around. Even if I ever stopped wetting the bed, it was too late for me to give up wearing diapers at this point. I could never give up Whitey, either. He missed me the first time around, too, and he wasn't about to let go of me, nor let go of the fact that I was still the same two-year- old little boy to him that I was when he and I were separated. As I clutched onto him, he said "remember, Brian, you are my little boy." I usually talked to Whitey by my imagination, but this time I said-- and I said it out loud-- "Yes, Whitey, I am your little boy." Jessica looked at me funny, wondering who I was talking to. I told her "Whitey." "I think you'll always be everyone's little boy, Brian," Jessica said as she turned the TV and the light off. We stayed up and talked about how nice things were this Christmas. Perhaps this was the beginning of things to come. Maybe we could have a bigger house and our own bedrooms someday. Perhaps Jerry would become the paternal guidance in our lives. Jerry was right. This Christmas was not over yet. It was far from over. Jerry proposed to my mom on that Christmas night. After a few months of courtship, they were married late in the following spring. We became a new family. Between Jerry and my mom, we had enough money to be comfortable and happy. We still weren't rich, but the money that mom and Jerry earned did by happiness, and comfort, at least enough for a bigger house. For the first since time mom and dad's divorce I lived in a real house, and a nice, albeit modest one at that. It even had three bedrooms! Jessica and I had our own space for the first time and could now really live in ways we could only dream of in the past. As this house was in another town, the same town my grandparents lived in, it meant saying goodbye to Robby. Jessica and Mindi were virtually inseparable and were able to keep in touch in spite of the move. Fortunately, I made new friends as I got settled into my new school, which even had a nurse who did my diaper changes throughout the day as needed. It wasn't long before Todd, who became my best friend, found out I wore diapers. He didn't laugh at me or ridicule me; he wore diapers, too. I met him while waiting for the nurse one day. Jerry had become "Dad" to us, not just by custody, but by love. He was the dad I wished I had before. Likewise, Jessica and I were the children that Jerry had longed for all his life. Even "Dad" himself thought of me as his little boy now. As long as I stayed in diapers, that was all I would ever be-- a little boy. And we all lived happily ever after. THE END