Name: Tim Ages: 5, 6, 7 Tim's Predicament The following is a true story of my life: I don't really know where to start, so I'll start at the beginning. I was born in 1985. My parents have always been ultra conservative and very close minded. They are devout Christians who don't like anything that differs from what they view as "normal." This puts me in a very difficult situation to live in and its not that hard to see why I cant really talk to them about things that are really on my mind. While most teens can talk to their parents about girls and life in general, my parents view dating, and girls for that matter, as evil and should be avoided at all costs. For as long as I can remember, I have loved, desired, and, in my mind, needed diapers. From my earliest memories in my brain, these feelings have always been there. They didn't just suddenly develop one day. I can remember always loving it when my parents would put on my nighttime diapers, which I was in until around 1st or 2nd grade, I'm not completely sure when I stopped where them. I now wish that I had never stopped, of course, but I didn't fully understand what I wanted back then or I would've stayed in them in a heartbeat. I remember around when I was three or four, when my brother and sister would leave for school, I would walk out in my PJ's and diaper and enjoy it, even then. I would try to stay in them as long as possible until my mom made me take them off. I'm not sure if my parents inferred anything from these early episodes, but I don't think so. I remember wanting to act like a baby when I was about four or five. My siblings and I were being babysat and for some reason, my brother and sister and our babysitter wanted to go out with out me. I told them I would just stay at home if they would put a diaper on me. So they did, and I played like a baby until they got home. I'm not sure if my brother and sister thought I was a weirdo or something, but it seemed great to me. My first memory of associating a sexual side to my diaper love is when I was still in them, but near the end of my nighttime diapers. I remember my dad was putting on my diaper when I got an erection (I don't even know if you can get them when your that young, but I distinctly remember it), my dad told me to just relax and that's all the memories I have of that episode. When I finally got out of diapers, I remember I would have frequent night time fantasies about a "diaper man" who would come in the middle of the night and put a diaper on me. I would dream I was a baby. Once, I accidentally let out to my dad that I dreamed of diapers. He probably was really wondering what was wrong with his son. He asked me why I dreamed of them and I said I didn't know. Then he asked me if I'd like to go back into them and for some idiotic reason, I said no. I obviously regret that now. After that episode, I was very careful about never letting my feelings out to anyone. They have lived inside me from that time onward. Do I want to say, eating me up, maybe, but I don't know. Not a night went by that I didn't have some type of diaper fantasy. I remember in fourth grade dreaming about how my classroom had a diaper changing station beneath it and everyone in my class wore diapers. The next day, reality would shatter my dreams. I'm not sure exactly when I started getting sexually excited every time I thought of diapers, but I for sure remember it happening in junior high. I was small for my age and actually didn't go through puberty until my sophomore year in high school. I had always heard about it, but I actually didn't try out masturbation until then. I found that only diapers and a few girls could get me excited. I wondered if I was gay or not, but I've pretty much cancelled that out. My diaper fantasies increased and got more and more involved. Around my ninth grade year, when I saw small boys, I would imagine them in diapers and that would excite me. I was going through a lot of agony by now because I thought that I was the only one on this earth that had the same feelings I did. I was mad at myself for being weird. Why couldn't I be like my friends and only think about girls? I would sit in school and just wonder if there was anyone else. I thought it was impossible, I was too weird. My sophomore year was hell. I was getting to the point of insanity, thinking I was the only one on earth who loved diapers. I wanted to wear them so bad, I wanted them so bad. Every night I'd exit to a blissful dream world where I could wear diapers and use them at will. But I'd wake up in the morning only to find it wasn't real, I would have to suffer through another day without the only thing in life I really wanted. Then came the summer before my junior year. I had gotten so bad that I was to the point of stuffing towels into my underpants to simulate diapers. It was cool, but for the work involved, it wasn't worth it. One day, I was sitting at home alone, dreaming of diapers, when the thought came to me. Why not search the internet for pictures of diapers, at least then you could have a visual. So I decided that I would flip a coin, heads, I would look on the internet, tails, I wouldn't. I flipped it.heads. I rushed to the computer and searched for diapers. My results were dismal. I got a few sites advertising baby diapers, but with no pictures. I was disappointed. I was about to give up when I fell upon a sight about a grown man in England who likes diapers and wears them every where. I couldn't believe my eyes. It was like a great weight was lifted from my shoulders, I was not the only one. I hurriedly read his sight and clicked on the best link I would ever click in my life.Deeker's Diaper Page. I almost peed myself right there. It was everything I had ever dreamed of. There were tons of other teens just like me who love diapers. Some even wore them. I couldn't believe. I fell in love with the stories page and visited it every time my parents were gone (I still do). I tried to read every story through. I could now enjoy my fantasies about diapers without the shame of thinking I was the only one. I began to try to find ways to buy some diapers to wear, but I quickly found out I didn't have enough money to but any. I was greatly disappointed, but I found comfort in the stories of others wearing them. I dreamed and dreamed. What am I like now? Well, I'm seventeen years old and a junior in high school. My fantasies? They haven't changed, I still dream every night. I still hope that someday I will wear diapers. I don't know when or how. Maybe when I'm living alone. I visit Deeker's sight every chance I get and that provides comfort. But it doesn't change the fact that I cannot go on much longer without diapers. I really don't know what to do. I want to wear them so bad, but I have no way to do so. I wish I could just talk to someone about it. My parents, maybe, but I know that will never happen. I just want someone to know, to help. I've thought about telling my friends, but I cant. I fear that I really don't have any real friends. I don't think that will happen until I find someone else who wears diapers too. If you have any advice, please, please email me at [email protected]. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ---- REMOTE_HOST: dialup-63.214.9.197.dial1.seattle1.level3.net HTTP_USER_AGENT: Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 5.5; Windows 98; Win 9x 4.90)