Name: Tim

Ages: 5, 6, 7

Tim's Predicament

The following is a true story of my life:

	I don't really know where to start, so I'll start at the 
beginning. I was born in 1985. My parents have always been ultra 
conservative and very close minded. They are devout Christians who 
don't like anything that differs from what they view as "normal." This 
puts me in a very difficult situation to live in and its not that hard 
to see why I cant really talk to them about things that are really on 
my mind. While most teens can talk to their parents about girls and 
life in general, my parents view dating, and girls for that matter, as 
evil and should be avoided at all costs.
	For as long as I can remember, I have loved, desired, and, in my 
mind, needed diapers. From my earliest memories in my brain, these 
feelings have always been there. They didn't just suddenly develop one 
day. I can remember always loving it when my parents would put on my 
nighttime diapers, which I was in until around 1st or 2nd grade, I'm 
not completely sure when I stopped where them. I now wish that I had 
never stopped, of course, but I didn't fully understand what I wanted 
back then or I would've stayed in them in a heartbeat. I remember 
around when I was three or four, when my brother and sister would leave 
for school, I would walk out in my PJ's and diaper and enjoy it, even 
then. I would try to stay in them as long as possible until my mom made 
me take them off. I'm not sure if my parents inferred anything from 
these early episodes, but I don't think so.
	I remember wanting to act like a baby when I was about four or 
five. My siblings and I were being babysat and for some reason, my 
brother and sister and our babysitter wanted to go out with out me. I 
told them I would just stay at home if they would put a diaper on me. 
So they did, and I played like a baby until they got home. I'm not sure 
if my brother and sister thought I was a weirdo or something, but it 
seemed great to me.
	My first memory of associating a sexual side to my diaper love is 
when I was still in them, but near the end of my nighttime diapers. I 
remember my dad was putting on my diaper when I got an erection (I 
don't even know if you can get them when your that young, but I 
distinctly remember it), my dad told me to just relax and that's all 
the memories I have of that episode.
	When I finally got out of diapers, I remember I would have 
frequent night time fantasies about a "diaper man" who would come in 
the middle of the night and put a diaper on me. I would dream I was a 
baby. Once, I accidentally let out to my dad that I dreamed of diapers. 
He probably was really wondering what was wrong with his son. He asked 
me why I dreamed of them and I said I didn't know. Then he asked me if 
I'd like to go back into them and for some idiotic reason, I said no. I 
obviously regret that now.
	After that episode, I was very careful about never letting my 
feelings out to anyone. They have lived inside me from that time 
onward. Do I want to say, eating me up, maybe, but I don't know. Not a 
night went by that I didn't have some type of diaper fantasy. I 
remember in fourth grade dreaming about how my classroom had a diaper 
changing station beneath it and everyone in my class wore diapers. The 
next day, reality would shatter my dreams.
	I'm not sure exactly when I started getting sexually excited 
every time I thought of diapers, but I for sure remember it happening 
in junior high. I was small for my age and actually didn't go through 
puberty until my sophomore year in high school. I had always heard 
about it, but I actually didn't try out masturbation until then. I 
found that only diapers and a few girls could get me excited. I 
wondered if I was gay or not, but I've pretty much cancelled that out. 
My diaper fantasies increased and got more and more involved. Around my 
ninth grade year, when I saw small boys, I would imagine them in 
diapers and that would excite me. I was going through a lot of agony by 
now because I thought that I was the only one on this earth that had 
the same feelings I did. I was mad at myself for being weird. Why 
couldn't I be like my friends and only think about girls? I would sit 
in school and just wonder if there was anyone else. I thought it was 
impossible, I was too weird.
	My sophomore year was hell. I was getting to the point of 
insanity, thinking I was the only one on earth who loved diapers. I 
wanted to wear them so bad, I wanted them so bad. Every night I'd exit 
to a blissful dream world where I could wear diapers and use them at 
will. But I'd wake up in the morning only to find it wasn't real, I 
would have to suffer through another day without the only thing in life 
I really wanted.
	Then came the summer before my junior year. I had gotten so bad 
that I was to the point of stuffing towels into my underpants to 
simulate diapers. It was cool, but for the work involved, it wasn't 
worth it. One day, I was sitting at home alone, dreaming of diapers, 
when the thought came to me. Why not search the internet for pictures 
of diapers, at least then you could have a visual. So I decided that I 
would flip a coin, heads, I would look on the internet, tails, I 
wouldn't. I flipped it.heads. I rushed to the computer and searched for 
diapers. My results were dismal. I got a few sites advertising baby 
diapers, but with no pictures. I was disappointed. I was about to give 
up when I fell upon a sight about a grown man in England who likes 
diapers and wears them every where. I couldn't believe my eyes. It was 
like a great weight was lifted from my shoulders, I was not the only 
one. I hurriedly read his sight and clicked on the best link I would 
ever click in my life.Deeker's Diaper Page. I almost peed myself right 
there. It was everything I had ever dreamed of. There were tons of 
other teens just like me who love diapers. Some even wore them. I 
couldn't believe.
	I fell in love with the stories page and visited it every time my 
parents were gone (I still do). I tried to read every story through. I 
could now enjoy my fantasies about diapers without the shame of 
thinking I was the only one. I began to try to find ways to buy some 
diapers to wear, but I quickly found out I didn't have enough money to 
but any. I was greatly disappointed, but I found comfort in the stories 
of others wearing them. I dreamed and dreamed.
	What am I like now? Well, I'm seventeen years old and a junior in 
high school. My fantasies? They haven't changed, I still dream every 
night. I still hope that someday I will wear diapers. I don't know when 
or how. Maybe when I'm living alone. I visit Deeker's sight every 
chance I get and that provides comfort. But it doesn't change the fact 
that I cannot go on much longer without diapers. I really don't know 
what to do. I want to wear them so bad, but I have no way to do so. I 
wish I could just talk to someone about it. My parents, maybe, but I 
know that will never happen. I just want someone to know, to help. I've 
thought about telling my friends, but I cant. I fear that I really 
don't have any real friends. I don't think that will happen until I 
find someone else who wears diapers too. If you have any advice, 
please, please email me at [email protected].


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(The following information requested is optional, though your participation is highly encouraged.)
Name:
Age: <8 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 >18
What diapers do you wear? Cloth Disposable Multiple Underpants I do not wear diapers
Are your diapers plain white? Always Usually Sometimes Rarely Never I do not wear diapers
Do you wear multiple diapers? Always Usually Sometimes Rarely Never I do not wear diapers
Are you pantsless at home while in diapers? Always Usually Sometimes Rarely Never I do not wear diapers
How do you use your diapers? Pee Poop
Who else in your family has read this story? Mother Father Older Brother Younger Brother Older Sister Younger Sister
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