Name: Scott
email: [email protected]

Ages: 5-17

My first memory of wanting to wear diapers was at age 4. I was born 
with a club foot and scoliosis and my first surgeries started at 18 
months. I have often thought this played into my wanting to remain a 
baby.

As I said, at 4 years of age I remember one evening when I got two 
pairs of plastic plants and put them on. I am a twin with a sister one 
year younger and another 2 years younger. The youngest was still in 
diapers and I clearly remember that evening that after I put on just 
the plastic pants that mom was diapering my sister and I was in the 
bathroom brushing my teeth. Then as I used the toilet my 3 year old 
sister walked in and saw the plastic pants and told my mom. She asked 
me why I was doing it but I just shrugged my shoulders. She then asked 
if I wanted to wear a diaper and I nodded yes. So she took off the 
plastic pants and pajama bottoms and had me lay on the floor while she 
got a diaper. Then she folded it and lifted my legs to put the diaper 
under my bottom and pinned it on. After that she put on the plastic 
pants and sent me to bed.

Later I remember her coming into my room and sticking her fingers 
underneath the plastic pants to see if I was wet. I don't remember the 
next morning or very many details for the next year.

When I was about 5 my brother and I came inside from playing on morning 
and he had had an accident. For some reason I knew the punishment would 
be having to wear just a diaper the rest of the day. When my mom saw 
him she took him back to the bedroom while I stayed on the front porch. 
Again I new I wanted to wear a diaper so I pushed what pee I could out 
to wet my pants. My mom came back and asked if I had wet as well. My 
pants were dark in color so she couldn't see so she came over and felt 
me. She got mad and drug me by the hand to the bedroom. As I stood 
there she took my wet pants off while I looked at my brother with his 
back to me wearing his diaper and crying. She then laid me on the bed 
and told me to stay put while she got another diaper. After she got 
back I watched her folding it and I must have been smiling as she 
asked, "What are you smiling about? This is a punishment."

From about 5-7 I have vague memories of different diapering episodes. 
Once when I was 6, all of us kids were left at my grandparents while my 
mom and dad were away. Mom had told her that if we had any accidents 
what to do and grandma said she'd come up with something for a diaper. 
A few days later we were playing with all of our cousins by a creek on 
the farm and I had to go potty. It was just before lunch and I headed 
up to the house but I leaked a very little bit before I got inside. 
After going potty and washing my hands grandma came in for some reason. 
She saw the small wet spot and asked what happened. I told her it was 
water from the creek. She said she doubted that and asked to see my 
panties. I had to pull my jeans down and she saw the yellow spot so she 
took my pants off and sent me into her bedroom. I had to wait forever, 
and when she came in she was carrying a big dish towel and pins. I 
started crying as I didn't want all the cousins to see me. But she made 
me lay down and pinned the diaper on me. I stayed hidden until she made 
me come out to the table for lunch. Nobody said much and I kind of 
settled in and enjoyed wearing it.

Then a few nights later after getting ready for bed my grandma had to 
help put a leg brace on. While doing that she noticed another small wet 
spot on my pj's so she took them off and put me on the floor naked. 
After a bit she came with a great big bath towel and folded it up. She 
lifted my legs and brought it up between them and pinned it. I remember 
how bulky it was and I could barely walk. I went to bed and had trouble 
getting to sleep because it was so big. In the morning she called up 
and had me come down to the bathroom. She checked if I was wet and then 
undid the diaper so I could go potty and then pinned it back on. After 
breakfast she gave my brother and I a bath, but then laid me on the 
bathroom floor and put another big diaper on me. Later she took me to 
do some errands and then into town for grocery's. I was scared because 
I didn't want to go into the store, but she just left me in the car. 
This is the last I remember of being diapered by others, but it was 
just the beginning for my life in diapers.

As I continued in school wearing back and leg braces I was picked on 
terribly by others. All I wanted in my mind was to go back to being a 
baby and stay home. For awhile mom had all the diapers around that she 
used as rags and I'd take them. Every month or two, up until graduating 
high school, she would find diapers hidden in my room. When I would get 
home from school she would call me into the bedroom and show me what 
she found. Then she'd ask why I was doing this and all I could do was 
shrug my shoulders because I wasn't sure. Then she'd threaten that next 
time she found diapers she would tell my dad and take me to a shrink. 
But she never did follow through with that threat, but it left me 
feeling very ashamed about my behavior. After high school I kept hoping 
I'd out grow this strange thing. Then I got married and thought the 
desires would go away after that. But they didn't.

Then to complicate matters I had had some urinary tract damage done 
after one of many back surgeries by a nurse getting tangled with the 
catheter and yanking it out. Years after scar tissue started building 
and caused bladder spasms and so I started wearing diapers for 
protection and it made a good excuse for my wife. But later it required 
corrective surgery and my excuse disappeared. I was married 18 years 
and until 1993, I was born in 1961, I never heard the term infantilism, 
or even new someone else was out there like me. One day I got home from 
work and my wife told me she saw the Donahue show about adult babies 
and asked if it was me. (At this point I was lying to her that I needed 
diapers at night because of incontinence.) Of course I said no, but was 
really surprised to learn I wasn't alone. Then I got a computer and 
internet and learned a whole lot more.

At this point I came clean with her, and told her the whole story. I 
then went through therapy and stuff thinking this all could be changed. 
After trying for all of 6 years I gave up. We were divorced, and now I 
live almost 24/7 in diapers, always hoping to find a lady that would 
understand and accept me.

I live in Nebraska and would be interested in communicating with anyone 
that may be close.

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(The following information requested is optional, though your participation is highly encouraged.)
Name:
Age: <8 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 >18
What diapers do you wear? Cloth Disposable Multiple Underpants I do not wear diapers
Are your diapers plain white? Always Usually Sometimes Rarely Never I do not wear diapers
Do you wear multiple diapers? Always Usually Sometimes Rarely Never I do not wear diapers
Are you pantsless at home while in diapers? Always Usually Sometimes Rarely Never I do not wear diapers
How do you use your diapers? Pee Poop
Who else in your family has read this story? Mother Father Older Brother Younger Brother Older Sister Younger Sister
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