Name: Scott email: [email protected] Ages: 5-17 My first memory of wanting to wear diapers was at age 4. I was born with a club foot and scoliosis and my first surgeries started at 18 months. I have often thought this played into my wanting to remain a baby. As I said, at 4 years of age I remember one evening when I got two pairs of plastic plants and put them on. I am a twin with a sister one year younger and another 2 years younger. The youngest was still in diapers and I clearly remember that evening that after I put on just the plastic pants that mom was diapering my sister and I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth. Then as I used the toilet my 3 year old sister walked in and saw the plastic pants and told my mom. She asked me why I was doing it but I just shrugged my shoulders. She then asked if I wanted to wear a diaper and I nodded yes. So she took off the plastic pants and pajama bottoms and had me lay on the floor while she got a diaper. Then she folded it and lifted my legs to put the diaper under my bottom and pinned it on. After that she put on the plastic pants and sent me to bed. Later I remember her coming into my room and sticking her fingers underneath the plastic pants to see if I was wet. I don't remember the next morning or very many details for the next year. When I was about 5 my brother and I came inside from playing on morning and he had had an accident. For some reason I knew the punishment would be having to wear just a diaper the rest of the day. When my mom saw him she took him back to the bedroom while I stayed on the front porch. Again I new I wanted to wear a diaper so I pushed what pee I could out to wet my pants. My mom came back and asked if I had wet as well. My pants were dark in color so she couldn't see so she came over and felt me. She got mad and drug me by the hand to the bedroom. As I stood there she took my wet pants off while I looked at my brother with his back to me wearing his diaper and crying. She then laid me on the bed and told me to stay put while she got another diaper. After she got back I watched her folding it and I must have been smiling as she asked, "What are you smiling about? This is a punishment." From about 5-7 I have vague memories of different diapering episodes. Once when I was 6, all of us kids were left at my grandparents while my mom and dad were away. Mom had told her that if we had any accidents what to do and grandma said she'd come up with something for a diaper. A few days later we were playing with all of our cousins by a creek on the farm and I had to go potty. It was just before lunch and I headed up to the house but I leaked a very little bit before I got inside. After going potty and washing my hands grandma came in for some reason. She saw the small wet spot and asked what happened. I told her it was water from the creek. She said she doubted that and asked to see my panties. I had to pull my jeans down and she saw the yellow spot so she took my pants off and sent me into her bedroom. I had to wait forever, and when she came in she was carrying a big dish towel and pins. I started crying as I didn't want all the cousins to see me. But she made me lay down and pinned the diaper on me. I stayed hidden until she made me come out to the table for lunch. Nobody said much and I kind of settled in and enjoyed wearing it. Then a few nights later after getting ready for bed my grandma had to help put a leg brace on. While doing that she noticed another small wet spot on my pj's so she took them off and put me on the floor naked. After a bit she came with a great big bath towel and folded it up. She lifted my legs and brought it up between them and pinned it. I remember how bulky it was and I could barely walk. I went to bed and had trouble getting to sleep because it was so big. In the morning she called up and had me come down to the bathroom. She checked if I was wet and then undid the diaper so I could go potty and then pinned it back on. After breakfast she gave my brother and I a bath, but then laid me on the bathroom floor and put another big diaper on me. Later she took me to do some errands and then into town for grocery's. I was scared because I didn't want to go into the store, but she just left me in the car. This is the last I remember of being diapered by others, but it was just the beginning for my life in diapers. As I continued in school wearing back and leg braces I was picked on terribly by others. All I wanted in my mind was to go back to being a baby and stay home. For awhile mom had all the diapers around that she used as rags and I'd take them. Every month or two, up until graduating high school, she would find diapers hidden in my room. When I would get home from school she would call me into the bedroom and show me what she found. Then she'd ask why I was doing this and all I could do was shrug my shoulders because I wasn't sure. Then she'd threaten that next time she found diapers she would tell my dad and take me to a shrink. But she never did follow through with that threat, but it left me feeling very ashamed about my behavior. After high school I kept hoping I'd out grow this strange thing. Then I got married and thought the desires would go away after that. But they didn't. Then to complicate matters I had had some urinary tract damage done after one of many back surgeries by a nurse getting tangled with the catheter and yanking it out. Years after scar tissue started building and caused bladder spasms and so I started wearing diapers for protection and it made a good excuse for my wife. But later it required corrective surgery and my excuse disappeared. I was married 18 years and until 1993, I was born in 1961, I never heard the term infantilism, or even new someone else was out there like me. One day I got home from work and my wife told me she saw the Donahue show about adult babies and asked if it was me. (At this point I was lying to her that I needed diapers at night because of incontinence.) Of course I said no, but was really surprised to learn I wasn't alone. Then I got a computer and internet and learned a whole lot more. At this point I came clean with her, and told her the whole story. I then went through therapy and stuff thinking this all could be changed. After trying for all of 6 years I gave up. We were divorced, and now I live almost 24/7 in diapers, always hoping to find a lady that would understand and accept me. I live in Nebraska and would be interested in communicating with anyone that may be close.