| Title: | Poverty and Domination | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Name: | Clarissa K. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Email: | Not given | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Gender: | Female | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Current Age: | 15 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Whom Story is About: | Another boy I know or knew | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Posting Date: | 08/23/09 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Life Periods in Story: |
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| Ages in Story: |
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| Story Contents: |
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| Summary: |
I found your site accidentally and after some time decided to write
about the two boys I am in charge of for more than three years now. I
live in a very poor and tough neighborhood in DC and admit to becoming
very abusive to the boys I watch. My parents are mixed race and mostly
because of drugs I moved in with my mother�s friend Karen when I was
14. I think my father is either on the west coast now or in jail and my
mother lives in Philadelphia now with my aunt. I haven't seen either of
them for almost three years. Karen and her sons are white and live off
of welfare. Karen is gone most of the time and besides her addiction to
drugs I suspect she is also a prostitute. We have plenty to eat and at
times she gives me large sums of money and goes away again. Some of the
money I save for myself but most of it is usually gone by the time she
gets back. I am the main one taking care of everything and even pay her
bills most of the time when she gives me the money. My grades were good
enough to go to college but I can't afford it now but hope to some day.
The boys are Adam and Mark, both are very light complected and when they are at the store with me people look at us thinking I am their mother. I'm not real dark complected but the differences are obvious. Adam is almost 13 now and Mark is 10 and I know both of them are intimidated by me. I am almost 6 ft tall and suppose I look much older than I am. I do have a nice figure and dress as nice as possible. What troubles me is how my attitude has changed with the boys and how I have degraded and humiliated them. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Deekerian Score (20 is max.) [?]: | 8 (40%) |
Karen diapered Mark when I first moved in with her. He was only 7 at the time but wet the bed most nights and often during the day. I didn't think of it as discipline at the time but have since changed my mind about it since his bedwetting continued. Karen�s boyfriend is a black man who also is involved with drugs and the two of them are at times away for weeks at a time. Right from the start Karen gave me permission to punish the boys when needed and she even gave me permission to spank them as she had many times. In the beginning I was quite hesitant to spank either of them and it got to where they started treating me badly and talking back to me constantly. They routinely called me the "N" word and even called me "blackie" at times. I was still fourteen at the time but bigger and stronger than both of them. After a few months I was so angry at them I finally did spank both of them. I made both of them take their pants off and spanked them bare bottom. They were both in tears when I finished and I think that was the first time I realized my dominance over them. I had bathed Mark but it was the first time I was able to see Adam's penis and rear. He was more humiliated than Mark was and I think it made me more aware of my power over them. Mark continued to wet the bed and his pants during the day and I changed him all the time and do admit I liked seeing him naked. Adam would constantly tease Mark about it and at the time Mark would cry over the teasing. One day I grabbed Adam and put a diaper on him, he was still ten at that point and cried during the whole time I changed him. I did it because of him teasing Mark all the time. He was so embarrassed by me undressing him he wined and begged me not to do it to him. That day I made him pee in the diapers like Mark and changed him three times. He cried each time and he kept telling me how sorry he was for teasing Mark and I knew the fact was that I was not only seeing him naked but washing his privates was the most humiliating thing for him. That�s when I told him he would be punished that way in the future. Mistakenly I thought I invented diaper discipline, until I went online and found out it has probably been going on for many, many years. I had no idea how many people were punished that way and find it�s mostly done to boys although some girls are punished that way, also. I do take good care of the boys but I suppose my ego and dominance over them increased as time went on. I spank them any time they do something I don't like and have diaper punished Adam more times than I can now remember. He told Karen about what I do but she didn't seem to care. I've never done it to him when she is here but have spanked both of them right in front of her. They knew then that I was in charge and I know now the two of them fear me. Adam will be thirteen in December but is like a baby when I punish him either buy spanking or putting him in diapers or both. I think he is more afraid of me than Mark who still wets the bed often and at times still wets his pants. I make him wear diapers often and always now at bed time and change him often also and he doesn't mind me seeing him naked like Adam does. Adam doesn't tease him anymore knowing he would also be diapered if he did. Last year when either of them misbehaved or back talked to me I started to spank them naked. Mark doesn't mind undressing in front of me and only fears the spanking he gets. When I do spank them I use my hand and by the time I'm finished their cheeks are bright red. Adam, on the other hand, is totally humiliated when I order him to undress and even more so when I begin spanking him. A couple years ago it began to arouse me just seeing them naked and I still do masturbate after seeing them and especially spanking or washing them. I at times make them lay in exposing positions when I spank them and change their diapers. Mark gets erections at times but when Adam gets them I think it embarrasses even more. I'm not sure if Mark has started to masturbate yet, but I know Adam does frequently. I have actually watched him a few times when he was unaware I was looking in his room. A few times I walked in on him but never said anything about it to him. He is still, even today, embarrassed every time I see him naked and I do realize how degrading it must be for him. He has pubic hair now but when I spank or diaper him, acts like a small child and usually cries when I make him undress. When he does get an erection it is usually when I wash him. For the longest time I have made both he and Mark spread their legs apart and wash their penis scrotum and anus with soap and water. Mark just lets me do it to him and I feel he likes me doing it. Adam blushes each time and I always see the tears coming but as soon I touch his scrotum or penis he still gets an erection even though he is crying most of the time. I don't think Adam will ever develop a fetish for diapers but think Mark might in the future since he never complains when I change him. He's not eleven yet but does get erections often. It doesn't embarrass Mark but I know Adam is embarrassed every time. I do ask them why they get an erection sometimes but neither knows what to say to me. Both have seen me in my underwear frequently and at times I let them see me naked, but not too often. I can tell Adam stares at my body often, especially when I'm in my bra and panties or night shirt but so far Mark seems uninterested and only pays attention if I'm naked. I won't let either of them lock the bathroom door and often go in just to see them shower. Again, Mark doesn't seem to mind but Adam still covers his penis when I walk in on him. Neither one has a very large penis but the only other I've seen aside from pictures is my old boyfriend and once a cousin. Some of the things I do to the boys I know I should feel bad about but I just like seeing them naked. In Adams case I love to humiliate him, which I know is wrong. Their mother went away again last Friday and I never know when she will return. She is worse with the drugs now more than ever and aside from her prostituting herself I know her boyfriend beats her up sometimes. She gave me eleven hundred dollars last week and two hundred I save for myself. She goes to Richmond most of the time now and doesn't seem to care about the boys. They never tell her how I punish them and I think they are more afraid of me then their own mother. I am strict with them at times but do feed them well and otherwise take care of them. I even help them with their homework and make sure they get to school on time. I do punish them sometimes for dumb reasons only to see them naked, especially with Adam. Since he is always embarrassed and cries when I make him take his clothes off it seems to arouse me more. Even though Mark is younger he never cries about being naked and only does when I spank him. Adam is almost 3 years older than Mark but is more like a baby when I spank him or put him in diapers. For the last few months I seem to be letting them see me naked more often. Last week Mark came home from the playground and I purposely laid naked in my bed pretending to sleep. He came into the room and stood looking at me for a long time and walked around the bed a few times. Awhile later Adam came home and I assume Mark told him I was naked. The two of them came in my room and I didn't open my eyes but could hear the two of them whispering to each other. I don't know what they said to each other but they were in my room for at least 15 minutes or more. It actually aroused me knowing they were looking at me like that and after they left I masturbated. A little later I went into the kitchen and asked both of them if they were in my room as I slept but they both denied it. I didn't want them to know I did it intentionally. They don't know or realize that I punish them at times for my own arousal and amusement. They obey me fully now and never use the "N" word in front of me or call me "blackie" anymore. As much as I like punishing them and seeing them naked the power I have over them is amazing to me. They both are pretty well behaved and do well in school. Sometimes I make up reasons to punish them which I know I shouldn't but do just to amuse and arouse myself which I know is selfish. I have acquired a talent for acting mad when I'm really not, just so I can spank them or diaper them often. At times now I spank or diaper both of them when my girlfriend Alysha is here. This even humiliates Mark and he even cries as soon as I make him undress but settles down after a few minutes unless I'm spanking him. If it is only a diaper change he is more calm about it even though Alysha is present. Adam, of course, is even worse and is pathetic the way he cries and whimpers when he is naked in front of her. To make matters worse I ask him if he wants to use the "N" word to her. Most of the time he can't even speak while crying. Alysha is intimidating just to look at as she is shorter but much heavier than me. Recently I let her wash and change Adam's diaper and he never got an erection as he usually does and sobbed the entire time. Alysha is 16 and thinks I am cruel sometimes but has yet to refuse to watch me either spank or diaper them. She does understand how I feel about the dominance over them and admitted she also likes seeing them naked. She admitted also she liked washing Adam and diapering him. I don't understand how a boy would like to be in diapers but can tell that Mark is comfortable with it and doesn't seem bothered by his nudity as much as Adam is. Mark doesn't mind at all to wet his diaper but Adam hates it almost as much as when I change him. I never did it to Mark but two times over the last three months I forced Adam to poop in the diaper. I was really mad at him those two times and wanted to humiliate him as much as possible and it did. I don't like changing him when he poops so I doubt if I will force him to do that anymore. When I first moved in with Karen and the boys I think I was rather timid. Now that I have been here so long I am more forceful and dominant and not only ask their respect but demand it. They both do as they are told and they know the consequences if they don't.