An Evening in the Life of a True Adult Bedwetter

I thought it was time to write. While I enjoy lots of stories, there 
seemed to be a lack of reading for those of us who want to relate to 
older people with bedwetting problems. So this is a detailed -- a night 
in my life, if you will -- of me and my bedwetting.

I am 48 and have never had a dry night in my life. Well, that's not 
completely true, just like a child trying to get potty trained, I have 
had some "successful" nights over the years, but I've never been able 
to sleep without being in a diaper. I am as diaper dependant at night 
as a human can be or as an infant is. In talking to doctors over the 
years, I phrase it as having never been "reliably dry", but that is an 
understatement. It doesn't matter how little I've had to drink after 
6:00 P.M., whether I'm trying DDAVP or Imipramine, or sitting on the 
toilet, like a big kid, before bedtime to squeeze out every last drop. 
I will wet and I will wet a lot. Alarms got old really fast and never 
helped do much but give me a lousy night's sleep. As a young teenager, 
my mother would come into my room to shut off the alarm and take me by 
the hand to the toilet. With both of us half asleep, she'd stand there 
as I dropped my wet diaper to the floor (we put the alarm in the diaper 
so the sheets wouldn't get wet) and then I'd sit on the toilet. In that 
"program", she was to wait until I started peeing before leaving me, so 
just like a child, my mom would hover over me waiting to cheer me on 
when I finally "tinkled" in the toilet! Sometimes she'd sing the pull-
up song for kids that goes "I'm a big kid now", but she'd say "You're a 
big kid now" as I'd pee as much as I could to make her feel proud. 
She'd then pick up my wet diaper, drop it in my diaper pail and go to 
the bed where she'd lay out a fresh diaper for me with a new sensor 
inserted. It seemed like we had just fallen back asleep when I'd awake 
to my mom walking me to the toilet again! It was like trying to potty 
train a baby to early and she finally gave up.

As much control as most adults have at night is the opposite of what I 
have. I pee like an infant when I sleep and I have at least two heavy 
wettings a night and often have small wettings in between. It's like I 
have a separate reserve stored up so that when I fall asleep, it can 
then come out. Think what this means though If I want to take a nap 
anywhere in the world, without a diaper on, I have to worry about 
wetting my pants. If I fall asleep in a car or on a plane trip I could 
pee like an infant without any chance of being able to hide the 
wetness. It's not like I just dribble a little! Once I had an MRI. I 
fell asleep and wet the table so much, that they had to interrupt the 
procedure while I put on a diaper and they cleaned up after me! A two-
week vacation requires a minimum of 28 adult diapers and related 
accessories, a complete 2nd suitcase! Think about it, for those who 
wish they really were a bedwetter. It's not just confined to the bed.

After a hard day at work, I will come home and have a glass of wine. 
Once dinner and family time is over, I'm usually in bed by 10:00 P.M. 
I'm one of those people who needs 9 hours of sleep per night. Think 
about how much a person pees over 9 hours and you can imagine how 
heavily diapered I need to be or the sheets will get wet. Since there 
isn't a bedwetter alive that hasn't experienced awaking to wet sheets, 
I have the expected telltale protection on my bed. A plastic sheet 
covers the entire mattress and then I have a crib sheet, right under my 
top sheet, which is pinned to where my diapered bottom generally rests. 
It's amazing how often I need both and if I could handle sleeping 
directly on an absorbent underpad I would. However, I try to imagine 
that even if I'm diapered, my bed is prepared like an adults and a pad 
showing would just look to infantile or institutional. One sit on my 
bed though, and the crinkle gives the truth away that a big bedwetter 
sleeps there. As a point of interest, this very morning I awoke to a 
huge wet spot on my sheets from a diaper that just couldn't hold it and 
everything was wet down to the plastic sheet.

It's amazing how many items a bedwetter needs. My nightstand is really 
a dresser with three long drawers. The first drawer has a few tubs of 
Desitin. Babies-R-Us carries these, otherwise, all I can find are large 
tubes and I go through a lot of diaper rash cream. Also in the drawer 
is corn starch Baby Powder, disposable diaper doublers, diaper pins, a 
few large packages of baby wipes (unscented), diaper pail liners, 
replacement diaper pail deodorizers, about 6 pair of plastic panties 
and a box of latex gloves (to be explained later). The second drawer is 
packed with disposable diapers and pull-ups and the last is all my 
cloth diapers, training pants and cloth liners. WOW, that's a lot of 
stuff for an adult to have just in order to pee in bed.

Ok, so now it's time to protect myself. The first thing I do is get 
completely naked so that I don't get cream or powder on my t-shirt or 
pajama top. A few years ago I watched a mother change her child's 
diaper and before applying diaper rash ointment she pulled out a 
latex/rubber glove and put it on her hand. When I asked her about it, 
she was excited to tell me how great they were. She buys them by the 
case from a hospital supply store and just slips one on when using the 
ointment so that when she's done she can just pull it off and throw it 
away. This way her hands stay nice and clean without smelling like 
Desitin all day. So I stand by my bed, slip a glove on, and first go 
for the wipes. Even though there is no pee to clean off my skin, I just 
prefer starting the process with a freshly wiped bottom, so I grab a 
few wipes (the new ones with Aloe ��) and freely wipe myself all over. 
It's amazing how clean I feel at that moment and what a stinky 
uncomfortable mess I'll be in the same area when morning comes
Next, I unscrew the top of the tub of Desitin and take a gob with my 
fingers.

I make first contact in the middle of my bottom spread the ointment up 
and down my butt crack. My rash always seems to start there so I apply 
it very liberally. I then spread it all over my bottom trying not to 
leave any skin untouched. I am very prone to getting diaper rash and my 
bottom always gets the reddest first, so I make sure even my hips get 
covered. At this point I open a drawer to take my diaper of choice for 
that night. I alternate between cloth and disposables for both 
convenience reasons and the variety is better for my skin. Even if I 
wear a disposable diaper, though, I always use a plastic panty. For 
that matter, even if I use a pull-up or a training panty for a nap, 
I'll still use a plastic panty. There isn't any protection that can't 
use the extra security that plastic panties provide! Anyway, I lay out 
(for this example) a contour cloth night diaper, at which point I'll 
also add a thick cloth diaper doubler down the middle. I then take the 
baby powder and sprinkle an ample amount on the diaper and doubler that 
will touch my bottom. I position myself as best as possible and lay 
down on the diaper, with the hopes that I won't need to adjust much, 
since the Desitin forms a light bond with the cloth. I then take my 
second gob of Desitin from the tub and apply it to the remaining 
unexposed areas including any part of my tummy that may get wet. I then 
spread my legs with my knees bent slightly outward and lift them in the 
air as I liberally dust my crotch and tummy with more baby powder. At 
this point, I lower my legs, but still with them bowed outward, pull 
all the cloth snugly into my crotch. I take a diaper pin and pull the 
bottom side over the left flap of the diaper and pin it firmly. I then 
repeat on the other side.

The best plastic panty is useless if it doesn't cover the entire 
diaper, so I buy panties with an extremely wide crotch, wide leg and 
waist bands and a high back. Quite often I've awakened to wet sheets 
because the panty pulled down over the back of my diaper as I slept, so 
the high back panty took care of that problem. I pull a pair out of my 
top drawer, shake it out and lift my legs in to the air as I put my 
legs in the leg holes. Plastic pants (and my diaper pail, which I'll 
mention in a while) are, to me, the two greatest signs of potty 
training failure, so as I slide the panty up my legs to the waiting 
diaper, I'm 100% validated as an adult that still pees uncontrollably. 
A diaper and plastic panty is the ultimate porta-potty and thus the 
ultimate sign of babyhood. I pull the panty over the cloth bulk and 
listen as the familiar "snap" happens as the waistband connects with my 
skin. I then use a finger, just like a mother would do, to make sure 
both leg bands are outside the diaper. I'm done. An adult diapered 
bedwetter who smells like a baby. While I should be terribly 
humiliated, I just feel serene. No one on earth would now expect me to 
use a toilet versus my diaper for at least the next 8 hours.

I am a hopeless, helpless bedwetter! I am a hopeless, helpless 
bedwetter!!!!

I then quickly fall asleep, although on occasion, my left thumb grazes 
my lips and before I even realize what's happened, it's in my mouth. 
I'm not a big thumbsucker, but sometimes it just feels very natural and 
I don't fight it. I suppose it somehow goes with territory since my 
infant state probably triggers other sensory responses.

Sometimes I dream that I'm peeing in a toilet and even in my dream know 
that this is when I'm wetting my diaper. In some dreams, I know I'm 
diapered, and just pee wherever I happen to be. Other times, it just 
gets wet, seemingly all by itself and I've even been awoken while in 
the middle of a pee! Even if I am up in the middle of the night for 
some reason and know I have to pee, I won't bother. It's just too much 
trouble to un-diaper, and I'm going to get wet no matter what, anyway. 
So I sleep like a baby --literally. I'm told that there are millions of 
adults that are still bedwetters, and I assume they all sleep 
protected, too. I like to imagine all of us lined up in a row for miles 
and miles, all sleeping in our beds with our diapered butts exposed and 
then we all awake at the same time and look down at our diapers filled 
with pee; all recognizing what failures we are at getting potty 
trained.

Dawn arrives, and my first moment of the new day is greeted with one of 
two feelings and they both come from my diaper area. I have had babies 
and sometimes they awake as happy as can be and other times they cry so 
hard that you can't change their diaper fast enough. I understand those 
emotions. If I've had a wetting within an hour or so before awakening, 
my soaked diaper can feel like a second layer of skin and all I want to 
do is snuggle in bed and sleep some more. However, if the sheet is wet 
and cold and my diaper has pee in it that's 8 hours old, I can't get to 
my diaper pail fast enough! Sometimes, I feel the onset of a diaper 
rash by way of "prickly heat' and that, too, makes me want to change 
quickly. Either way I end up waddling to the bathroom where my diaper 
pail sits patiently awaiting yet another deposit. It sits next to my 
toilet almost mocking me as I open it to drop in yet another indication 
of my failure at being able to control myself. This diaper pail l has 
been with me for over 20 years! I bought it from Toys-R-Us when the 
only diaper pails sold were the classic kind. It was pure white with a 
yellow lid and a deodorizer compartment that attached under the cover. 
A solid metal handle with a plastic tube where your hand carries it was 
the normal design back then. After 20 years, that tube has cracked in 
half and the deodorizer lid is long gone. What was white has fractured 
yellow stains that have permeated it from the inside out and the yellow 
lid is now closer to an ugly pee stained orange. There are 
miscellaneous diaper pins, from over the years, attached to the handle 
that slide down to where it connects with the pail, which is also where 
a piece of string connects to a deodorizer disk that hangs on the 
inside of the pail. The bottom of the pail has a crack in it, so I am 
now forced to use these dainty pink diaper pail liners or else my floor 
will suffer from pee leaking out of the pail.

Next, I peel back the plastic panty from my soaking wet diaper and pull 
it down over my legs and let it drop to the floor. As a funny aside, I 
went to a dermatologist once with a very bad diaper rash that I 
couldn't shake and while she was diagnosing my bottom I asked her what 
the spots on my legs were. Guess what???? When I am pulling off my wet 
plastic panty, some parts of my leg got rashed! Talk about 
humiliation!! She suggested using snap-on panties until the rash 
cleared up. Anyway, I usually throw my plastic panty into the shower so 
that I can hand wash it right away and put it over the shower head to 
air dry. Otherwise, if I'm in a hurry or am not taking a shower, I drop 
it in my pail with my sodden diapers. Next, I grab as much of the top 
front part of my diaper as I can (I hate this part because it's always 
wet!), while opening a diaper pin and pulling it out. While still 
holding the diaper I pull out the other pin, which immediately lets the 
back of the diaper drop quickly between my legs, because of its weight. 
With the other hand I open the lid to my diaper pail and then drop the 
whole stinking mess in to it. I look into it with disappointing eyes as 
it joins the other collection of diapers, each a constant reminder of 
what a hopeless bedwetter I am and each one representing a lost 
opportunity to use the toilet. All I can hear now is my mother's voice 
singing, to the tune of the pull-up song for kids, "You're STILL not a 
big kid now"


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Name:
Age: <8 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 >18
What diapers do you wear? Cloth Disposable Multiple Underpants I do not wear diapers
Are your diapers plain white? Always Usually Sometimes Rarely Never I do not wear diapers
Do you wear multiple diapers? Always Usually Sometimes Rarely Never I do not wear diapers
Are you pantsless at home while in diapers? Always Usually Sometimes Rarely Never I do not wear diapers
How do you use your diapers? Pee Poop
Who else in your family has read this story? Mother Father Older Brother Younger Brother Older Sister Younger Sister
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