| Title: | Abusive Childhood Or Not | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Name: | Carol | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Email: | [email protected] | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Gender: | Female | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Current Age: | 22 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Whom Story is About: | A boy I Have Babysat | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Posting Date: | 01/17/10 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Story Contents: |
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| Summary: | Since I have gotten older I regret the part I played in what I consider now the abuse of Daniel. For reasons I never could understand he was raised by his aunt who lived directly behind my house. Stella was a single mother who had a young daughter at the time. I think Daniel was around six when he moved in with her. I was about 11 at that time and payed little attention to him. His cousin Paula was only about 3 at that time and I remember him hitting her often and they didn't get along at all. At times I would see or hear Stella spanking him and truly thought he deserved it. I'm not sure when I first saw him in diapers but think he might have been 7 or 8 at the time. I remember thinking it strange for a boy that age but thought he had a toilet problem. I would see him in the yard or on the back porch differnt times in diapers and soon found out he was being punished that way. I over heard Stella telling her friend she decided to punish him like that. I was just going into high school at the time and Stella first asked my mom if I could babysit for Paula and Daniel for one weekend each month, Paula was 6 and Daniel was 9. At first my mom didn't want me to do it but when I found out Stella would pay me 30 dollars each weekend I coaxed her into letting me do it. I was almost 14 but thought I was mature enough to handle the two of them. I don't think my mom liked me staying over night both Friday and Saturday nights but gave in since my house was close by. Stella told my mom she had to go away those weekends because of her job, but I know she was really getting away with her boyfriend. I saw right away she had her hands full with Daniel and he was an awful brat. He treated Paula badly and hit her lots of times. Stella told me to send him to his room if he misbehaved and not to be afraid to "smack his butt" if he hit Paula. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Deekerian Score (20 is max.) [?]: | 5 (25%) |
The first few weekends I watched them went rather smoothly. Stella had both of them stand there as she more or less read them the riot act. She told them I was in charge and they must do what they are told and behave themselves while she is away. Paula was no problem at all and Daniel only misbehaved a few times but I think I intimidated him right away. He was just a little freckle-faced kid at the time and I was much bigger than him. He did hit Paula a few times and I punished him by making him stay in his room for hours at a time. Only one time did I actually spank him at the time but never pulled down his pants. He deliberately threw a hot piece of pizza at Paula, almost hitting her eye. I was so mad at him I pulled him over my lap and spanked him then sent him to his room. I called Stella and told her what happened and apologized for spanking him. She said she was glad I did and told me not to be afraid of punishing him. That�s when she told me how she spanked him often and made him wear diapers sometimes to punish him. At that time I hadn't seen him in diapers for a long time and wasn't even sure if Stella still punished him that way. He was obviously afraid of me after that first time I spanked him and the next few weekends behaved very well. I was 14 the first weekend that Stella had him in diapers and remembered holding back laughter when I first saw him. He was still nine but looked ridiculous in them. It was late Friday afternoon and she was packing to go away. I asked her if he was being punished right away and she called Paula into her room to show me her black eye. Daniel had punched her earlier that day and her poor eye was swollen and purple from it. She told me she diaper punished him again and came right out and asked me if I would want to change him. I admit I was surprised she asked me that and I didn't know how to react. I guess I looked surprised so she just said if I didn't care to that she would let him dress regular until she got back home Sunday afternoon. It was a funny situation for me and I wasn't sure if I could do that. She was not the least bit insistent about it but did ask if it would bother me. I told her I wouldn't mind and think I said so to bolster my maturity or for some reason to act more like an adult. She did tell me he had to use the diapers to both pee and poop and when she said that I guess I had a strange look on my face. Right away she again said I didn't have to do this if I didn't want to but my ego forced me to say I didn't have a problem with it. I had changed babies� diapers a lot of times when I babysat for my aunt but never even thought about changing a diaper on a boy Daniel's age. Before she left she made Daniel come in her room to show me what to do. She put a plastic sheet on her bed and made him lay down and took off his diaper in front of me. He turned crimson right away and I knew he was embarrassed by me seeing him naked like that. He wasn't wet so she put the same diaper back on him. She then told him to tell me when his diaper was soiled and that I would change him over the weekend. He started to cry right away and she sent him to his room. Stella then told me to wash him off when I changed him and showed me the supply of disposable diapers and baby wipes and powder she used. Later that evening was the first time I changed his diaper by myself. I was apprehensive to do it at first but asked him if he was wet. When he told me he was I took him up to Stella room to change him. I recall being very nervous about it and wasn't sure if I made the right decision to accept doing this. As soon I put the plastic sheet on the bed Daniel started to cry. I felt sorry for him but after seeing Paula's eye had no pity for him and felt he deserved being punished severely. After a few minutes I almost had to force him to lie down on the bed and threatened him with a spanking. I took off his diaper as he continued to cry and remember feeling like wonder women or something and that I had so much authority over him. I never expected to be able to boss anyone around or have control over them like I was now capable of doing. It was always the other way around where I was the one who was always told what to do. I hadn't been spanked in many years but remember the humiliation of it even though it was seldom done to me. I just stood looking at his penis for a moment and just thought how embarrassed he must feel and couldn't imagine how humiliating it was for him. If a boy did this to me, I thought, it would make me so ashamed I would be sick and want to die. I took a couple of baby wipes and wiped his penis and scrotum at first. Just to satisfy my curiosity I lifted his legs up to wipe his butt off. That�s when I clearly saw that he had been spanked by Stella earlier. His buttocks were still reddish and had some bruising on it. It looked like she used a belt or something because it really looked sore. That night I put him in the tub and also gave Paula a bath afterwards. The rest of the weekend he still cried every time I changed him but he was very well behaved the whole weekend. That was just the start of it and I found myself becoming more domineering and power hungry. For some reason I enjoyed punishing him and humiliating him. Part of it was because of the way he treated and spoke to Paula and the mean things he did to her. I was like a hero to her and was so impressed with myself having so much authority and control over him. I know it sounds cruel but it empowered me even more when I made him cry which happened often. I knew he tried not to many times but the more I treated him like a baby the more he obeyed and feared me. That summer Daniel turned 10 and Paula was 7 1/2. I not only watched him and Paula one weekend each month but also every Wednesday and Thursday. He was again diaper punished by Stella a few times but I wasn't there when she did it to him. When she went away for the weekend in July he was being diaper punished for a week. I don't remember know why but was happy he was. That week I watched them Wednesday, Thursday and the whole weekend. You would think he would be less embarrassed with me changing him but it seemed the older he got the more embarrassing it became for him. Again I saw that Stella had spanked him severely the first time I changed him and made it known to him that I knew. He didn't always outwardly cry but would sort of whimper and I could tell he wanted to. I later saw his report card from school and figured that was the reason he was being punished again. That is until Paula told me he stolen another kid�s bike so I think it was a combination of both that he was being punished in diapers for an entire week. I don't recall him ever being punished for that long a time before that. Paula began peeking in the room when I changed Daniel sometimes. I know I shouldn't have allowed her to but guess I considered it revenge for her. Most of the time he didn't see her looking at him but when he did it really upset him. Sometimes her girlfriends would come over the house and see Daniel in his diapers. He would always hide or go into his room when they were there. He did the same if one of my friends came over but I never let them see me changing him or giving him a bath. I called and asked Stella if she still wanted me to bathe him and she said it was part of the punishment. Paula heard me talking to Stella and began telling me some of the times Daniel had been punished. As young as she was she said Stella spanked him a lot and put him in diapers often. She said she didn't like Daniel and that he was mean and bad. I knew Stella punished him often but didn't really know before how frequently. He was constantly in trouble at school but around me he was like a wimp and seemed to be afraid of me. By this time I had only spanked him twice. the one time he was dressed but the second time I did spank him bare. Only once over that year did I have to change his diaper when he pooped in it. I didn't like it but was able to handle it ok. He openly cried that time and I just know it was humiliating for him but didn't feel the least bit of sympathy for him. By the time I was 16 I had total control over him and he seemed to behave most weekends that year. He was only in the diapers for 3 weekends during that winter but I did spank him twice. One time I made him pull his pants down but the other time he was naked after I took off his diaper. I was much bigger and stronger than him and he was visibly afraid of me. Both times I called and told Stella that I spanked him and she gave me approval both times. The one time I spanked him was just for talking back to me and I did it out of anger. I got along very well with Paula but Daniel just seemed to rub me the wrong way all the time. I didn't hate him but do admit I enjoyed humiliating him and even spanking him. I also enjoyed seeing him naked and liked touching his genitals. I did talk to him often but the minute I would start to change him or give him a bath he would be silent the entire time and I could clearly see he wanted to cry. Sometimes he did but as he got older he would somehow hold it back even though I could still see tears in his eyes. I'm not sure now but don't think he ever got an erection until he was 12. The first time he did I was changing a wet diaper and had just wiped his scrotum with a baby wipe. His penis always seemed very small to me but when he got hard I was surprised at the size of it. He actually cried when it happened and I suppose it embarrassed him. He had some pubic hair at the time but not much at all. Another year went by and He was only diaper punished twice that I knew of. Paula became my source of information and if she didn't tell me about Daniel I would ask her. Paula would tell me of the many times Stella continued apanking him and she also informed me that Stella did make him stay in diapers quite often. I hadn't seen Daniel naked for at least 6 months at that time then one Friday when I went over to babysit for the weekend he was in diapers. As soon as Daniel saw me he turned bright red knowing I would be there for 3 days watching them. I didn't even ask why he was being punished but as much as I shouldn't have been was happy he was in diapers. It had been a long time since I had seen him naked and he was almost 13 by now. He had become very submissive to me over the years but I could see he still dreaded me seeing his privates again after so long. Stella never mentioned a thing about it before she left and I assume she didn't even think about it since I had been babysitting for her all this time. I kept asking Daniel if he was wet after she left but he kept saying no. It was quite obvious he didn't want me to change him. After dinner I was watching TV when he came in and sat down to talk to me. He started out by asking me if he could change himself and I immediately asked him what Stella would say. He didn't answer and admitted he was wet. Before we even got to Stella's room he began to cry. I put the rubber sheet on the bed and told him to lay down on it. He just kept begging me to let him change himself. I should have felt bad for him but instead I felt my domination over him more exciting than ever. I'm ashamed of that feeling now but at the time it was an incredible feeling just knowing the influence I had over him. He always was and still is small in stature so I just grabbed his arm and forced him onto Stella's bed threatening to spank him. When I finally got his diaper off I was surprised how much more pubic hair he had gotten since the last time I saw him. I wiped him off as usual and put powder on him before putting on a clean diaper. He didn't get and erection since I am sure he was humiliated again and just cried the entire time. After dinner I changed him again and he did cry a little but not as bad as the first time. Later in the evening I told him it was time for his bath. Paula who was 10 by this time began to laugh and Daniels face turned fire engine red. He reached over and smacked her across the face almost knocking her off the sofa. It was hectic for a time because he hit her very hard. I took her in the kitchen and put ice in a cloth for her. I admit I was furious with Daniel and after I settled Paula down a bit went back in to get him. I held his hair as I led him to the bathroom and took his diaper off right away. He started to cry and I sat on the toilet seat and pulled him naked over my lap and began spanking him. I don't know how many times I hit him but my hand started to hurt. The whole time Paula stood at the doorway watching and I never told her to leave. Daniel was hysterical and sobbing like an infant when I was done. I made him get in the tub right away and began washing him even making sure I got soap in his eyes. Paula stood there for a long time and even though Daniel knew she was there never said a word and just continued crying. I must have done it for spite but made Daniel stand up in the tub knowing full well Paula could see him. I washed him all over and especially soaped his penis and testicles. I even made him bend over and washed his rear and put lots of soap on his anus with a wash cloth. I realized I was purposely exposing him to Paula and know now I shouldn't have done that. The next day, which was Saturday I called Stella and told her about spanking Daniel. When she found out why she seemed to be happy that I did. I mentioned nothing about how I bathed him knowing she wouldn't approve of that and letting Paula watch. I was still mad at him that day and the side of Paula's face was still red and a little swollen. I made him apologize to her and wouldn't let him watch TV all day and sent him to his room. I changed him four times during the day and he was too afraid to object. All I could think about was tormenting him and punishing him. I guess I knew then what Stella had been dealing with most of the years she had Daniel. In the afternoon I was rooting in the refrigerator to find a snack. There was a small box on the door that had suppositories in it. I know it sounds devious and certainly is but as soon as I saw them I thought of how Daniel would feel if I forced him to submit to such a thing. I got ice cream for Paula and I and we watched TV for awhile. The more I thought about the suppositories the more I wanted to do it to him. I knew how much I embarrassed him in the past but I couldn't think of anything more humiliating than making him poop in front of me. I couldn't just do it so I decided to call Stella. He did poop one time on Friday but when I called Stella I lied and said I think he is constipated. She wasn't too concerned about it but then I mentioned seeing the suppositories in the fridge and told her I wouldn't mind giving him one. At first she said no but then said if he didn't go by that night then it�s okay to do it. I had my mind made up right away and thought it would be the most humiliating thing I could do to him. I had him in Stella's room and took his diaper off. He didn't cry but I could see he wanted to. I told him to come in the bathroom and sat down on the toilet seat with the suppositories in my hand. He knew what it was right away and began to cry. He literally begged me not to give it to him but I told him Stella told me to and made him lay over my lap. He was crying so much his tears made the floor wet. I know now what an awful thing that was to do to him but at the time I was pleased with myself. I had this boy completely exposed to me and forced a suppository in his rectum with my finger. I made him stay on my lap for almost 5 minutes making sure it didn't come out. I just sat looking at his anus scrotum and penis. I can't think of anything more humiliating or degrading than that. He just lay there and sniffled and pouted like an infant. He eventually told me he had to poop so I got up and let him sit on the toilet. He asked me to leave him alone but to further torment him I refused. It took awhile but he finally did poop and to further embarrass him I made him let me wipe him. Then I put him in the tub and gave him a bath. I didn't realize at the time but Paula witnessed most of it. When I saw her at the door I did make her leave when I put him in the tub. Over the next year and a half I gave him a suppositories three more times. I think each time he was more embarrassed the last. Every opportunity I had to humiliate him I took advantage of. Most of the time he was 13 and 14 he started to get erections more often. I only spanked him two times that last year and a half but enjoyed both. I caught him masturbating 4 times but never said anything about it to him and never told Stella, although I think she knew he did. The last time I saw him naked he was 14 and I think one of the last times he was diaper disciplined by Stella, it was summer 2006. Again it had been months since I saw him naked and he knew I was coming over for the weekend. As soon as I walked in and saw him in a diaper I smiled and he blushed terribly, knowing I would be there the entire weekend. He only cried the first time I changed him but not very badly. I changed him three times Friday, five times Saturday and twice on Sunday. I gave him a bath both Friday and Saturday night and almost the entire time he had an erection. I know he looked at my body many times over the years but I could notice he it more so as he got older. He saw me in my underwear a few times over the years and I do know of two times he saw me naked when he was younger. I never thought much about it and it was rare when he did see me undressed. Each time was accidental and I never purposely let him see me that way. He often saw me in my pajamas or night shirt but I don't recall him looking at me that often. I don't remember what he did that weekend to be punished with the diapers but I was glad at the time that he was being punished. Even though he got erections often that last weekend I could tell it still embarrassed him and did spot tears in his eyes a few times. That year I began college and was away from home most of the time. I seldom saw Stella, Paula or Daniel for the next few years but at times when I did see Daniel he would blush and turn bright red even if I just said hello to him. I live at home again and work in town everyday. Daniel is 17 now and still blushes every time I see him probably remembering all the compromising situations I saw him in. It amuses me that he is still embarrassed but I can understand why now. I see now how I took advantage of him and let myself become like Stella to a certain extent. The things I did to him are unforgivable and I do now feel bad that I was like that. Daniel is still short and introverted but from what I understand does very well in school now. I sincerely regret causing him so much humiliation over those years. I suppose I should tell him how sorry I am now but can't bring myself to do it yet. Paula just turned 15 this year and I do talk to her sometimes. She brought up the subject of when I used to babysit for them and I did ask her how things were between her and Daniel. They get along pretty well now and no longer fight with each other. Without asking she did tell me Stella spanked and diapered Daniel well into his 15th year. I was surprised she did it for that long but Daniel was especially dominated by her. I know how he obeyed me and can only imagine the fear he had of Stella. Paula also told me that she thinks Daniel has a fetish for diapers now. She said a few times when Stella is out or away he wears them in his room. As humiliated as he was all those years I don't understand how he could possibly have a diaper fetish. He always appeared embarrassed when I saw him like that and particularly ashamed if one my girlfriends or Paula's friends saw him like that. I suppose it could happen but he just doesn't seem like he would like it after so many humiliating years. He still appears to be a wimp and if he does have a diaper fetish I can't figure out why.