DIAPER DESIRES: PART 1
----------------------
HOW MY "DIAPER DESIRES" STARTED (SOMETIME IN LATE 1985)
I was well past the age of four when I was potty trained. Now 14, I don't
have many memories of my childhood, but, I do remember toilet training like it
was yesterday. The thing I remember the most about it is that it was something I
didn't want to do. I was expected to use the toilet at my age, but I was
satisfied with wearing diapers. I had absolutely no intentions whatsoever of
ever giving them up. I had always thought and hoped that diapers would be a part
of my entire life, at least for a good part of my childhood.
I showed no signs of being ready for potty training, and I was four,
nearly five years old! Like most parents, mine were trying hard to get me
through this so-called rite of passage from babyhood to childhood. I made it
very difficult for my parents. They tried everything to get me out of diapers,
but I was too much of a challenge for them.
I was about three and a half when my parents, mainly my mother, initiated
the toilet-training process, after waiting too long for my "signs of readiness"
to develop, which they never did. At three years old I messed my diapers just
like I must have the day I was born and all the days in between. Nothing about
my methods of going to the bathroom had changed one bit in over a year of my
parent's hoping I'd be "ready." I was never ready to start, so my mom had to
push me along.
She started out with a gentle approach, being lenient about my accidents.
As I continued to show no signs of progress, she conceded her efforts out of
frustration and let me just go in diapers again. A couple weeks would pass, long
enough for her patience to be restored, and then she'd try it again, using more
drastic measures each time. She tried the reward system at first, using positive
reinforcement. After awhile this turned to a more negative approach. The reward
system failed miserably as I kept making a mess of every single diaper that was
put on me. "Forget the cookies or ice cream for using the toilet!" I thought. At
that age, I knew that if I ever proved myself able to use the toilet, then the
diapers would be off-- forever! I did not want that! Even with foregoing getting
a sweet confection of some sort for achieving a goal for my parents, I wanted to
wear my diapers! My sisters also wanted me to stay in diapers; they got to eat
all of "my" cookies before they went stale!
The award system was abolished and the spanking system was implemented in
its place. No more cookies, if I didn't produce a bowel movement in the toilet
and used my diaper instead, then it was time for a good swat on the butt. My
mother was quite easy on the spankings, but my dad's spankings were a lot more
painful and he administered more strikes of his hand to my buttocks.
I was finally forced into being potty trained by outright intimidation and
humiliation. I remember times when my mom would scold me in the middle of the
grocery store or wherever we happened to be. Out loud she would say, "Chris! Did
you just poop in your diaper?!" in the checkout line and then spank me right
there! The whole world knew that I had an accident and that I was getting beat
across the behind for it! Most of the other parents, and most of the other
children, some even younger than I was, knew that I was a little too old to be
wearing diapers. My parents finally figured it out that I was wanting to use the
diapers. They knew that I liked them. Everything from the thick, bulky feel to
the warmth of the wetness and the squishiness of the poop made it too good to
give up. I also liked how they looked on me.
My parents, however, didn't agree with a having a boy who was approaching
kindergarten still wearing diapers. They finally resorted to taking my diapers
away, whether or not I was ready to go without them! My diapers! Gone! They made
me go around the house completely naked! For an entire week I was forced to go
naked around the house, even right in front of my two older sisters! At night I
was allowed to go to bed wearing only my underwear. Without diapers or anything
else on me, I either had to go in the toilet or go on the floor, and if I went
on the floor, I would be in BIG trouble!
Being the kid I was, I challenged my parents and deliberately left a big
pile on the kitchen floor one evening before we ate dinner. I was given a
spanking that I'll never, ever forget. In fact, I was spanked so bad that I
couldn't sit on the toilet because of my red, swollen buttocks. My parents
essentially defeated the purpose of their mission by spanking me so hard then.
After that incident it was down to serious business. At this point my parents
were so frustrated and desperate as ever. Mom made me spend my entire afternoon
in the bathroom for a week wearing nothing. It came down to this: use the toilet
or get another severe whacking on the butt and another week in the bathroom
naked. It was force, but enough force to make me use the toilet. There was no
praise, no congratulations, no cookies, nothing to commemorate the moment. I do
recall my mom and dad getting a babysitter to watch us while they went out that
evening, and that they came home unusually late. My sister tells me that they
went out and celebrated for themselves. I believe it, being that I made toilet
training pure hell for them!
DIAPER DESIRES: PART 2
----------------------
Once I had my parents convinced that I was toilet trained, they made very
sure that I was using the toilet and only the toilet. The diapers were gone now
and I had absolutely nothing to wet or mess in except my underwear, which, as I
learned, was not adequate for such use. Most parents expect their children to
have a few accidents after toilet training. Mine, on the other hand, were
completely intolerant towards accidents. I had a few accidents, actually more
than a few. I enjoyed having them, until I got scolded. To mom and dad, an "F"
on my report card or a cavity at the dentist was tolerated more than an accident
in my pants. I really began to resent the way they were so strict about my
accidents. This just gave me one more reason to go against them and have my
accidents whenever I felt like it, and I always felt like it.
If I had it my way, I would have continued to wear diapers. The way my
parents wanted it was to get me out of diapers like all the other kids. "There's
a reason they don't make diapers for big kids like you," my mom always told me
after having an accident. I later learned that such diapers do exist, but my
parents didn't want me to know that at the time. They figured I'd probably want
to wear them again. How right they were!
My parents were not only very intolerant of my accidents, but they always
went into how my sisters never had accidents when they were my age. While many
of my accidents were on purpose, for the fun of it, some of them were accidents
in the true sense of the word. When I was in the first grade I had an accident
after getting off the bus because there was a wreck (not with the bus, luckily)
on the way home and it delayed traffic by another 30 minutes. I really had to go
and had counted on getting home and going to the bathroom at that time (I wasn't
going to mess my pants on the bus with other kids!). Things were just untimely
that day and I had an accident in my pants. This still wasn't good enough of an
excuse for my mom and dad. They scolded me and compared me to my sisters and
made the usual federal case out of it.
It was so lame to use the toilet. To me, nothing sounded so appealing as
having mom put a nice thick diaper on me. I lamented that those days were long
gone. According to my mom, diapers were made only for babies and I'd never have
the chance to wear them again since I was no longer a baby. In spite of that
misinformation I couldn't help myself, even if it made mom and dad upset at me.
I just had to mess my underpants, it was such a joy to do it. Still, I was
spanked, I was grounded, and I had my privileges revoked. At age six I was again
sentenced to a week of nakedness in the bathroom. Even though I hated such
punishment, nothing would stop me from being the baby boy I wanted to be!
The risk of severe punishment was just too great, but at the same time,
the pleasure I got from messing my pants was something I could not live without.
When I was eight, I figured out that my parents didn't have to know about my
"accidents". I also discovered that I could make a "diaper" of my own. I looked
at pair of my underpants one day and then it occurred to me that if I wore
several of them together then it could function as a diaper. I could only do
this after I went to bed, or face severe punishment. In my bedroom my parents
would have no idea what I was up to. I would try to avoid using the toilet all
day so that I would need to go more at night.
Every night after I went to bed I'd I put on about six to eight more pairs
of underwear. As I lay there, I'd wait until I needed to go to the bathroom.
When I did, I didn't get up and walk into the bathroom. Instead I stayed in my
bed and I'd just wet my underwear, also poop in it too when I needed to. It was
a mess, a wonderful mess! I felt so naughty!
I had to hide the evidence afterwards, lest I be caught the next morning
when my mom came in to wake me up for school. I would take the dirtied-up
underwear and hide it on the floor in my closet. I had several old blankets
folded up in the closet, which I used to cover up the soiled underwear.
Afterwards I would then put on more clean pairs of underwear and repeat the
whole process if I could before the night was over.
I kept this up for a few nights. I tried to be careful not to leave any
other signs of my actions, but one time I became careless and was nearly caught.
One morning my sister Lisa observed that I had a different pair of underwear.
"Why do you have different underwear on this morning?" she asked me.
"What do you mean?" I replied.
"Last night you had on underwear with a red stripe, now you've got a blue
stripe."
Oops! Think fast! Lie!
"I was wearing these when I went to bed last night!"
"You were not!"
"I was too!"
"You were not! You had on..."
Mom intervened. "Kids, don't argue! Just eat your cereal!"
Whew! That argument ended right there. My sisters and I argued so much in
the morning that mom never paid any attention to what we were arguing about.
She'd just tell us to "shut up and eat our cereal." Had she been paying
attention, it may have clued my mom in on what I was doing in my bed.
I kept messing my underwear every night for several more nights, but, it
was only a matter of time before my mom discovered my little secret. Her first
clue was that my laundry basket didn't have as much underwear in it as it
usually did. The more obvious clue was discovered immediately afterwards. I
figured this little game of mine wouldn't last forever, or even for much longer,
for that matter.
DIAPER DESIRES: PART 3
----------------------
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 3, 1989
The day was Friday, November 3, 1989, a red-letter day that I will forever
remember. I came home from school on that cold day along with my two sisters as
we had always done. We came through the door, set down our book bags and
promptly turned on the TV to watch the after-school cartoons.
A few minutes later I heard my mom call me from the laundry room.
"Chris! Come here!" she hollered.
I knew I was in trouble, judging from the tone of her voice. I felt my
heart racing in anxiety. I knew she had found out what I had been doing in my
bed every night. I sat there, trying to delay my punishment as much as I could.
"Chris! I said come here, now!"
"What did you do?" asked my oldest sister Lisa.
"I don't know." What a lie! I knew exactly what I did!
"You're in trouble, Chris!" commented Cindy, my other sister.
"You'd better go see mom, she sounds mad," advised Lisa.
"CHRIS! In fact, ALL OF YOU, COME HERE! RIGHT NOW!!"
Now the girls were wondering why they were suddenly brought into this. We
all got up and walked into the laundry room. Our mother was standing before the
washing machine. To her side was a laundry basket that contained my dirty
underwear. She held up one of the many badly soiled pairs of underwear that I
had hidden. The entire seat of it was plastered with brown, dried poop. "Oh,
no!" I thought.
"Chris,," she began. "I found these in your closet! I was wondering where
all your underwear was going!"
"How did you find them?" I asked.
"Because I could SMELL them! Your room STINKS!" My sisters started
giggling.
"I was having overnight accidents, mom!"
"Accidents? Ha! You've been doing this on purpose! I found at least a
dozen pairs just like this! Your story is full of holes, Chris!"
"Yeah, and it's full of shit, too!" commented Lisa.
"Lisa!" mom reprimanded. I don't want to ever hear that language from you
again!
"Sorry, mom, but it's TRUE!"
"Mom, why do Lisa and Cindy have to know about this?" I asked, feeling
really embarrassed.
"So they'd get to see what their brother does in his bed! It allows them
to see what kind of behavior he is exhibiting! It's so you'd be embarrassed! I
think that's a good start for your punishment!"
"What? Am I gonna get spanked?" I asked fearfully.
"Well, spanking won't do any good after I'm finished with you!" she
answered. "You will, however, be punished in a VERY BIG way for this!"
What? A MONTH in the bathroom?!!! Was dad going to give me the spanking of
my life? What was I in for now??? I was really scared! I started crying.
"Mom! I'm sorry!" I sobbed. "Really, I'm sorry, and I won't do it again!"
"Well, Chris, you've been doing this a lot, and I KNOW you'll do it again,
so I hardly think for even a second that you won't do it again, because you
will! Ever since we finally got you toilet trained you've been doing this! Your
father and I told you a million times that we didn't want any accidents! We've
tried everything Chris! We've even grounded you to the bathroom! I'm at the end
of my rope! WHAT IS IT WITH YOU?!!!"
"I dunno!" I replied with guilt. Mom continued with her little tirade.
"I thought that maybe you were grown up and ready to be a big boy, but, I
guess you're not, and you never will be! It seems to me that this is what you
want to do, am I right?"
I couldn't lie. I said "y-y-yes."
"That's what I thought! Your dad and I decided that you can't use the
toilet like we'd expect you to, so starting now, you will no longer use it!
Instead, you will be wearing diapers!
"D-d-diapers?" I asked.
"Yes, Chris. I just got some for you today!"
Diapers? Diapers?! DIAPERS! It couldn't be! Yes! It's true! They finally
got the message: I want to wear diapers!!! Now, I was finally getting my wish! I
got my diapers back! I got my diapers back! Hooray! Hooray!
"Follow me to your room!" she commanded. "Lisa, Cindy, I want you to see
this, too!"
The four of us all went into my room. My mom opened up my underwear drawer
and showed me that my underwear had been replaced with diapers! I couldn't
believe it! There were diapers stuffed into my drawers! REAL DIAPERS! Just like
babies wear, only larger! All this time I was told that they didn't make diapers
for older kids, but now I knew that such diapers were available, and I was going
to be wearing them! As excited as I was, I didn't want to show my delight over
the diapers. I was being punished, and if I showed that I enjoyed it, it
wouldn't be punishment and my parents would probably make me do something I may
not enjoy. This "punishment" was certainly better than sitting in the bathroom
all day long. Now it looked like I'd probably never be in there again except to
brush my teeth and to take baths.
Mom pulled one of the diapers out of the drawer. As she held it in front
of me I looked at it and admired its visually appealing characteristics. It was
big, white, and very thick, proportionally much thicker than any diaper I'd ever
seen a baby wear. The front and the rear of the diaper had extra padding for
more absorbency and the legs had elastic bands around them to control leaks. To
top if off, it had velcro closures on it to ensure a nice, tight, and secure
fit. I couldn't wait any longer! I wanted to put it on!
"You obviously want to wear them!" she commented as if to sense that I
would enjoy wearing them. "You might think wearing these diapers is great,
Chris, but you'll need to get used to a few other things, too, since you've
chosen this behavior!"
I didn't know what she was talking about. All I knew so far was that I was
getting put back into diapers, and that sounded fine with me!
I looked around my room and noticed some other things. On the floor near
my bed was a large pad. Next to the pad was a plastic bucket. On top of my
dresser (now my diaper drawers) was baby powder, lotion, wipes, and some old
wash rags. I figured out that this was where my diaper changes would take place.
"I brought your sisters in here so I could show them how to change you!"
said mom. "Now, I want you two to watch and pay attention so you'll know how to
do this!"
"What?!" Lisa exclaimed. "We have to change his diapers, too?"
"Of course, Lisa!" my mom reasoned. "I can't be changing them all the
time, you know."
Wait a minute! My SISTERS were going to be changing my diapers? That
thought didn't settle with me so well. Getting to wear diapers sounded great,
but I didn't want my sisters involved in changing them! They weren't too wild
about the idea, either.
"You're not kidding, are you mom?" asked Cindy. "We have to actually wipe
his butt clean and diaper him?"
"Yes! I doubled each of your allowances for doing this! Think about it,
girls, it might actually be fun to diaper up your little brother!"
"Okay, we'll do it!" they said in unison, agreeing to change my diapers.
So my sisters were recruited to change my diapers. I didn't like this
idea, but I figured I'd get used to it eventually and it wouldn't bother me so
much. As long as I got to wear diapers, I was happy.
"Take your pants and your underwear off right now!" ordered my mom.
"In front of Lisa and Cindy?" I protested.
"Chris, they're going to see you naked every day!" mom reasoned, "so
there's no reason to be modest. Now take them off already!"
I unfastened my pants and dropped them to the floor. Standing there with
only my underwear on, I removed it, exposing my bare butt to Lisa and Cindy.
"Now lie down on the pad!" said my mom. Naked except for a shirt, I was lying
there waiting to be diapered!
"Lift your butt up!" commanded my mom as she slid the thick diaper beneath
me. As I sat back down, I could feel the diaper's bulkiness beneath me. What a
wonderful feeling! As my mom pulled the front of the diaper over me, I felt like
I was in a sudden time warp, as if I had been instantly returned to babyhood. It
was so wonderful to be wearing diapers again! With my diaper securely pulled up
on me, she fastened the velcro closures. At long last I was wearing a diaper!
I sat up, looking down at my crotch. The diaper bulged out so far and
filled up a lot of space between my legs. Just the sight of diapers on me looked
so good, I couldn't wait to actually use them! As I sat there examining myself
and the diaper, my mom and my sisters stood and watched.
"Now get up and walk around. It'll take you awhile to get used to, but
you'll have plenty of time for that, and I do mean plenty!"
I got up and stood for a moment. I tried to put my legs closer together,
but the diaper was far too big and bulky to allow me to do that. I walked around
my room and felt the heavy, bulky diaper on my backside as I walked.
"I got you the thickest diapers I could get, Chris!" said mom. "Knowing
your messes, and that you'll probably need to go several hours between changes,
I thought it'd be a good idea for you to wear the extra-thick ones." And extra
thick they were!
I looked in the mirror on my bedroom door. I wanted to see how I looked
from the rear. My butt was so heavily and thickly padded! I ran my hand along
the seat of my diaper to feel how thick it was back there. I couldn't get over
the way it looked and felt; it was so thick and so soft.
I continued to stand before the mirror, admiring the way the diapers had
such a dominance over me. They were always there, and so big and bulging. I
turned to various angles, enjoying views of my butt, my side, my front, my
crotch; it looked good from all views.
"So you like this, Chris?" mom asked. "You seem to be admiring the way you
look! You like it?"
"Uh, yes!" I answered sheepishly.
"Girls, what do you think?"
"He looks cute!" giggled Lisa.
"Yeah! He looks just like a baby!" remarked Cindy.
"What do you think, Chris?" Lisa asked me.
"Uh, well, they're okay!" (they were GREAT, but I didn't want them to
know), "I didn't think you guys would be changing me!" I replied.
The girls giggled as they looked at me and started chanting "Chris is
wearing dia-pers, Chris is wearing dia-pers...!" Lisa and Cindy walked off,
laughing and carrying on with each other about my diapers.
I began to wonder how my pants would fit over the diaper as it was indeed
quite bulky.
"Do you want me to put my pants back on now?" I asked Mom.
"Oh, no, Chris. You won't be wearing any pants, except for when you're in
school and when you're in town with me. Your pants are gone now! I took them to
Goodwill along with your underwear, since you won't be needing them anymore!"
What will I wear to school?" I asked.
"Tomorrow I'll get you a pair to wear to school. I'll measure you with the
diaper on so I'll know what size to get." She then left the room carrying the
pants and the underwear I was wearing earlier.
I went through my closet and noted that the blankets that at one time
concealed my soiled underwear had been moved. More notably, all of my pants were
gone. Even my shorts and my swimming trunks were taken away. All that remained
in my closet were my shirts. I walked over to my diaper drawers. The top drawer,
which once had underwear in it, was empty. The second drawer was half full of
diapers. The third drawer was stuffed entirely with diapers. I opened the fourth
drawer and noticed that I still had my socks and my white undershirts that I
wore to bed.
I started to walk out to the living room. I stopped and turned to around
to ask mom something.
"Mom? How long will this last?"
"Oh, I don't know. Awhile."
"How long is that?"
"For as much I spent on your diapers, I'll make sure it lasts a long time!
And I'll be buying more soon."
I could count on at least several months of this treatment. So far, so
good. I was wearing diapers, and only diapers, which I wanted, and my sisters
would be doing most of the changing, something I didn't care for, but hoped to
get accustomed to after awhile. I also knew that this would last for a long, yet
an undetermined length of time. I didn't want it to ever end! But still, there
had to have been more to all of this. After all, this was for "punishment!"
which, for now, I didn't feel it was.
DIAPER DESIRES: PART 4
----------------------
As I saw it, getting caught was a victory for me. I didn't plan on things
to turn out this way, but. Originally, I wanted to avoid getting caught, but I
planned my avoidance rather poorly.
I never considered the fact that mom may do the laundry earlier than I
expected her to. She ALWAYS did laundry in the afternoon, after we got home from
school, so I figured I'd just wait until she was doing my underwear, and then
try to sneak the dirty pairs into the wash while she went into another room to
retrieve more laundry. It was, as I thought about it, a risky plan.
Mom was behind on everyone's laundry. It had been several days since she
had been in my room to retrieve my laundry. As I waited for the day she'd
finally get to it, my underwear just kept piling up in the closet. The smell was
becoming too strong to mask by stuffing it under blankets in my closet. Mom must
have planned to get an early start on it today to get it caught up. After she
found the incriminating evidence, that was it! She gave up on me and I got back
the diapers I so long missed!
I went out to the living room, where I joined Cindy to watch the afternoon
cartoons. It felt funny, yet good, to be in diapers, knowing that these were
only the first few minutes of what I expected to be possibly (and hopefully)
many months, perhaps years, of being in diapers. A few things would take getting
used to. First and foremost was dealing with my sisters. They were going to see
me in diapers like this all the time, and having them change me would definitely
take some getting used to. It felt awkward trying to walk with the diapers, so
I'd have to adjust the way I walked. One thing was certain-- and I didn't mind
adjusting to it-- when I needed to go to the bathroom I wouldn't have to get up
anymore. I could just go wherever I was. This meant no more interrupted video
games, watching TV, or anything!
It wasn't too long before I felt a need to pee. As I had been originally
taught to do, my first inclination was to get up and walk into the bathroom. Not
anymore. I had to re-program myself and undo all of that tedious toilet training
my mom put me through. It felt funny to just be sitting there in the living room
needing to go to the bathroom. I hesitated on the thought of actually using the
diapers right out in front of everyone.
Finally, I started. It was a small trickle, a "shy pee!" as I called it.
It then turned into a full stream. I could feel the wetness soaking the
absorbent layers of the diaper. The wetness of the urine around my skin was
quickly drawn away. Nobody could tell that I had wet!
It was almost five o-clock when I felt that there were more liquids that
my system had processed and were ready for drainage. I added to the wetness I
already put into the diaper earlier. Again, the diaper soaked it all up; it was
doing its job and serving its purpose quite nicely.
The evening closed in. Dad was expected home at around 5:30. As the day
turned to dusk, I began to get uneasy thinking about what dad would say. The
question I had was if my dad knew of this ahead of time? I got up and walked
into the kitchen where mom was preparing dinner.
"Mom? Does dad know about this?" I asked.
"You'll find out when he gets home."
In the way she said that, it sounded like I was in for more, perhaps real
punishment. Punishment I wouldn't enjoy in the least. This diapers thing was
indeed punishment, but it was good punishment, an oxymoron if I ever heard one.
What more could they possibly do? Spank me? Ha! I wouldn't feel it if he did!
Now I knew what mom meant when she said that "spanking would do me no good when
she was through."
The moment had arrived-- dad drove in. He came into the kitchen from the
garage. I just sat there on the floor, anticipating his entry into the living
room. The room was dark, lit only by the TV screen. Maybe he wouldn't see that
huge, bulging mass on my butt. He walked up to the lamp and turned it on, seeing
what mom had put on me.
"Hi, there, son! I see mom has finally done something about your toileting
habits, or shall I say LACK of toileting habits?"
"Did she tell you about this?" I asked him.
"Yes, she did. She called me this morning at the office and discussed your
little 'problem.' Your mother and I have known about this behavior of yours for
some time. We thought about putting you in diapers a long time ago, but we
figured you'd grow out of it, which you never did. Since you aren't going to
ever straighten up your act, we are going to take extreme measures, hoping you
will realize how ridiculous and babyish this behavior is! You're eight years
old, but, you might as well be two!
"I'm sure your mother has told you of what to expect from now on. By now
your sisters should know what you have been doing, and I'm sure they, too, know
what to expect from now on. We'll discuss this more after dinner. Do you have
anything to say, Chris?"
As it seemed like dad expected an apology from me, I said "I'm sorry,
dad."
"'Sorry' won't change what you have coming! Anything else?"
It turned out he wasn't waiting for an apology, he just wanted to know if
I had any more questions. I did have one.
"Who else knows about this?" I asked dad.
"So far, nobody but the family knows-- me, your mother, Lisa and Cindy.
Others will certainly find out about your behavior, and what has been done about
it. So if you think this will remain a secret, it won't! I think when other
people find out why we are doing this, they'll understand. We might even be
setting a precedent in dealing with children who exhibit your behavior.
Certainly, Chris, you are not the only one who likes pooping in his pants! We're
just doing something about it that we think will make you think about this
behavior for awhile!"
I was definitely thinking about it! The diapers only made me think about
it, and act upon it even more!
By this time dinner was ready. We all sat around the table, just like a
traditional family. We ate the main course, then dessert. It was dinner the way
we had it every night, except now that I was wearing diapers for the first time
since I was nearly five. In fact, most other things in our family's customs and
routines remained the same except for that I was in diapers and that my sisters
had the additional responsibility of changing them. After dinner, mom and dad
cleaned up the table and the kitchen while we kids ran back out to the living
room.
After dinner we all gathered in the living room and discussed the fact
that I was to be wearing diapers and how wearing them would be enforced. Over
the course of our discussion, it was made clear that:
* I would be wearing diapers at all times, including school and in public.
* I was not to wear pants nor do anything to conceal my diapers except when
leaving the house. I was to be furnished with a larger pair of pants that would
fit over my diapers.
* Since I wasn't expected to go outside and leave the house in my diapers, I was
more or less grounded as well.
* I was not to change my own diapers. This was to be done by another member of
the family. Most often it would be done by my sisters, whose allowances were
doubled for this duty.
* My diapers were to be checked at least three times a day; once in the morning,
once in the afternoon, (after school on school days), and once before bedtime.
* No exceptions were to be made whatsoever. Mainly, I would have to remain in
diapers regardless of who was visiting our house. I was, however, welcome to
invite friends over, knowing that I would have to remain in my diapers in their
presence.
Much of this I was already aware of. I got thinking about the fact that my
sisters must each have four or five friends that visit regularly. I had to
accept the fact that they would all eventually see me wearing diapers.
"I should invite Betty over tonight!" said Lisa. "I think she'll like to
see how cute you look in your diapers! Tee hee hee...!"
"Yeah, and I'm sure my friend Gina would like to see you, too, Chris!"
said Cindy. "She thinks it's funny enough you go around in your underwear!
Wait'll she sees your diapers!"
As for my own friends, the only kid in school I considered to be a friend
was Tony. Like me, he was quiet and didn't talk to a lot of other kids, which
explained why neither of us had very many other friends. I had known him since
the first day in kindergarten, long enough to trust him to tell him I enjoyed
wearing diapers. I even trusted him enough not to tell everyone at school about
it, so I really didn't mind if he knew. As a matter of fact, I thought it might
be great to have a friend to share in this diaper fun of mine.
The only thing that I didn't like about this arrangement was having to
wear the diapers to school. I'd probably be the only third-grader-- perhaps the
only kid in the entire school--who wore diapers. If I knew of at least one kid,
even if he were a only a first-grader who wore diapers, I'd feel better about
wearing diapers to school knowing that I wasn't the one and only kid with such a
distinction.
"Do I really have to go to SCHOOL like this?" I asked my parents.
"Of course you do!" my mom affirmed. "NOTHING is open to negotiation! Get
used to it, Chris, because it's going to be this way for a long time!" At that
time she measured my waist with the diaper over it so she could get me the right
size of pants to wear to school.
The family meeting was adjourned and everyone went back to their normal
routines. Cindy and I played Nintendo while Lisa chatted on the phone. In the
background I could hear her talking to Betty. I tried to concentrate on the
game, but I was playing lousy because I was really concentrating more on what
Lisa was saying to Betty, instead, mainly if Lisa would tell her about my
diapers.
"Can you stay over tonight, Betty?" she asked.
No, not tonight! I was just getting used to having my own sisters see me
in diapers. I didn't want the whole world seeing me in them all at once!
"Oh, okay, well..." Good! It sounded like Betty couldn't make it over
tonight.
"Tomorrow night? Great! Boy, do I have something to show you then!" Lisa
exclaimed. I knew exactly what she was talking about.
Sitting there maneuvering my space ship on the screen, I felt nature
calling again, this time it was Number Two. I tried not to make it obvious, so I
tried to go while sitting on the floor. I did it earlier when I only had to pee.
Pooping while sitting wasn't as easy. I also didn't want my game to be
interrupted, one of the benefits of wearing diapers, so I tried to let it out.
Before I got put into diapers, I was always messing in my underwear in the
privacy and the confinement of my bedroom. Now, there I was, in such enormously
bulky diapers, sitting next to my sister, playing a video game, and needing to
unload my bowels. It wasn't exactly what I was used to, so I felt a bit awkward
to just let it out right there. I didn't want Cindy to notice anything, but she
knew what I was doing when I changed my sitting position to where I was
squatting down with my legs spread wide.
I started to unload into my diaper. I felt it fill up the tight space
between the diaper and my buttocks. Within a few seconds or so I had a full load
in my diaper. I knew that I would have to be changed soon.
"So, did Chris hafta go poo poo?" commented Cindy. "Guess we're gonna
hafta change you, huh?" She was speaking in exaggerated "baby-talk."
After we finished playing the game, mom came into the room and informed me
that it was time for my nighttime changing.
"Okay, Cindy, Lisa. I'll show you how to clean up and change Chris."
We went into my room to my changing pad. Without being told, I sat down on
the pad and prepared for the diaper change. Mom released the closures and pulled
off the diaper, all soaked with pee and soiled with poop. "I see you've used it
already, Chris!" commented mom. "Your poo-poo looks pretty fresh; you must've
just gone a few minutes ago!"
Mom pulled the diaper away from my body, leaving me naked from the waist
down. She went on explaining the procedure to Lisa and Cindy. "Now, Lisa, Cindy,
this is important: make sure you clean him up good before you put clean diapers
on him again."
The smell of my wastes filled the air around us.
"Phew, you stink, Chris!" said Lisa.
"You'd better get used to it!" said mom.
Mom continued with her demonstration. She told me to lie on my back and
lift my legs as she wiped my butt clean and rubbed my diaper area. She sprinkled
powder on me and then turned the job over to Lisa, giving her a chance to get
hands-on diapering experience. She slid the big diaper underneath me and
fastened the closures. She did it with such expertise, as if she had already
changed my diapers a hundred times before.
"Now, take the dirty diaper, put it in the plastic bucket and carry it out
to the garage just outside the laundry room. There's a hamper out there just for
his diapers, to keep the smell out of the house."
Lisa and Cindy then learned that earning twice their former allowances
would involve more than just changing me three times a day. "Now, in addition to
changing Chris, you'll need to wash his diapers, too!" mom added.
"Wash them? Eww!"
"I didn't double your allowances for nothing! I think changing him three
times a day and washing his diapers really isn't too much to ask for a 100%
raise in your allowances!"
"Okay, mom, we'll do it!" Lisa acquiesced, though she didn't sound quite
so willing to accept this responsibility. "How often do we need to wash them?"
"I wouldn't let it go for more than a day or two!" mom advised. It'll
really stink if you do. You should have smelled Chris' closet, Whooo! You
wouldn't believe how much disinfectant I used in there!"
I was finally set free. I grabbed my bucket of Legos and took them out to
the living room. Waddling like a toddler, I carried the bucket and set it down
in my playing corner. Mom and the girls were behind me, carrying the diaper
bucket to the garage.
We stayed up for about another hour and then went to bed. As I climbed
into bed, I heard a crinkling sound beneath my sheets. It was plastic! My mom
had put a plastic sheet on my mattress! Somehow I enjoyed hearing the plastic
ruffling as I moved around on the bed. My room also smelled of baby powder,
though blended with the scent of the disinfectant. The feel and the sight of the
diapers on me along with the sounds and smells made these diapers appeal to
nearly all of my senses. Within a few minutes I settled down. It felt weird
sleeping this way and it took some getting used to, mainly, the diaper forced me
to keep my legs spread widely apart while lying down, a position I wasn't
accustomed to for sleeping. I hoped that I would wet or mess in the diaper
before falling asleep, but I ended up dozing off instead, still dry.
DIAPER DESIRES: PART 5
----------------------
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 4, 1989
I woke up the next morning, hoping that maybe I would have subconsciously
regressed to being a baby from the diapers and would have consequently used
them. No such luck, I was dry, or at least I felt dry. I got out of bed and
realized that I didn't need to get dressed anymore except to change my shirt, at
least when it was a weekend or other non-school day. I went out to the living
room to join my two sisters who were already up watching cartoons. "How's the
diapers?" asked Cindy. "They're fine!" I replied. "Are you dry, or did you go
poo poo?" asked Lisa, speaking in baby-talk. "I'm dry!" I answered. "Good, then
I don't need to change you!" It wasn't long after that before I felt the need to
go to the bathroom, both number one and number two. With my sisters right there,
I wanted to be inconspicuous about it, but then, I reasoned, what was the point
in trying to hide it? They already were well aware of why I was wearing the
diapers to begin with, so it didn't really matter how discreet I was about it. I
was sitting on the floor with my legs spread wide open. As I learned the night
before, this was not an easy position to be in to poop, at least for now. I
needed a few days to adjust to the diapers before I could go in any position. I
tried to do it while sitting flat on my butt, but I still had to get up and
squat down in order to poop. I first started to urinate. Some of it trickled
down to my genitals, where the diaper soaked it all up. Remaining in my squatted
position, I dumped right into my diaper. Because the diaper was pulled on so
tightly the night before, my poop couldn't easily penetrate the thick, white
cotton wall covering my butt, so it spread out, covering my buttocks. Some of it
found its way into my crotch. It was such a messy, sticky feeling. I loved it!
Lisa stayed home to babysit me that day while Cindy joined mom to do some
shopping at the mall and other stores around town. I spent much of the day
playing with my Legos and other toys I had. After a while, the poop in my diaper
had set up. The warmth had gone away, as well as some of the wetness, which the
diaper had absorbed. All day I was joyously thinking about what kind of mess was
in there. As the thick diaper prevented me from seeing what was underneath it, I
would have to wait until it was changed to see this incredible derriere deluge.
Every time I walked I could feel the poop squish around in its tight
confinement. Whenever I sat down I could feel the sticky mess press up against
my butt.
Later that afternoon, Lisa's friend Betty came over. I knew she'd be
staying overnight, but I didn't expect her to arrive so soon, and, of course,
Betty certainly wasn't expecting to see me in a diaper. I figured she'd see me
in them soon enough, so I just went about my usual business, but wondering how
she would react to seeing me this way. She'd probably laugh and giggle, which
she did. She came in to the living room, where I was on my hands and knees
playing with my toys, offering her a good view of my heavily diapered butt. Her
reaction was one of surprise and of curiosity, not to mention amusement.
"Oh my god, Lisa!" she exclaimed, laughing. "Your brother! Why is he
wearing a diaper?"
Lisa had to explain the situation to Betty. "Well, Betty, that's what I
wanted to show you; my mom and dad decided to put Chris back in diapers!"
"Back in diapers? He's eight years old!"
"Chris kept pooping in his underwear, on purpose. Mom found out, and
started making him wear diapers!"
"Oh really?" she said, laughing. "Your brother was pooping in his
underwear, so now he has to wear diapers! Oh my gosh!"
"My parents decided that if he was going to be like a baby, then he'd have
to wear diapers like a baby!"
"So your parents are making him do this?"
"Yep! This is supposed to be a punishment for him. He can't use the toilet
anymore, so he has to wear diapers around the house all day long, every day, so
everyone will get to see that he wears diapers!
"I certainly see he's wearing them!" Betty remarked.
"But it's hardly punishment!" Lisa continued. "He seems to be enjoying
this. In fact, I know he likes it! He tries to act like it's punishment, though.
Of course, he'll have to wear the diapers to school, too. Everyone will find
out, and then, maybe he'll realize that this is punishment after all."
"He can't go to school like that, can he?" asked Betty.
"My mom is going to get him some bigger pants that will fit over his
diapers. He'll wear those to school, and only school. Around here, he is to
strictly wear only the diapers!"
"Gee, your parents are taking a rather extreme approach, aren't they?"
"Extreme it is, but it was all they could do. Chris kept making messes in
his underwear when he went to bed, plus he had been doing it ever since he was
potty trained. Mom and dad got tired of scolding him, putting up with his dirty
underpants, so finally, they figured, have him wear diapers!"
"How long are your parents going to do this to him?"
"They're gonna keep him like that for 'awhile', they said. I don't know
how long."
I was pretending to play with my Legos, but I was really listening to Lisa
and her friend carry on. I turned around and looked at Betty.
"Hi, Betty!" I greeted her.
"Oh, hi, Chris! Say, you look cute in those diapers!"
"Why does everyone think I look 'cute' in my diapers?" I thought.
As it became late in the day, Cindy and my mom returned home from
shopping. They brought home two pepperoni pizzas. The three of us all sat around
the table eating it. As I was hungry, I ate three slices of pizza and then
reached for a fourth slice, though smaller.
"Chris, that's your fourth piece!" Lisa pointed out.
"I'm hungry!" I stated, justifying my apparent gluttony.
"Okay, but the more you eat, the more you're going to poop into your
diaper! That's more poop I have to clean up!"
"Isn't that what mom doubled your allowance for?" I reminded her.
"What??? YOU have to CHANGE him, too?!" asked Betty, even more surprised.
"Oh yeah. Mom can't always do it, so she has Cindy and I change him."
Betty just sat there with a slice of pizza halfway into her mouth, not chewing
it, staring at Lisa for a few seconds, and then resuming eating, holding her
stare.
"You're probably the only one in this whole world who has to change her
EIGHT-YEAR-OLD brother's diapers!" she commented.
"I'm probably not the ONLY one!" Lisa said, "but I doubt very many eight-
year-olds wear diapers!"
After we finished off the pizza mom presented me with the pants that she
bought while in town.
"I want you to try these on over your diaper!" she said, handing them down
to me. I unfolded the pants and looked them over. For starters, the pants
weren't even a fashionable style. They were the same kind of pants that Cory,
the school geek, always wore."
"These are dorky pants!" I complained.
"Oh, they are, eh?" replied mom. "I can always send you to school without
them, but you'd freeze to death just walking to the bus, and, I don't think the
school's dress code would allow for such attire anyway!" That was the sarcasm
part. Now she was serious.
"I don't care how 'dorky' they look, because they're the only pants you
have now! And hey, you only have to look 'dorky' until you get home from school,
as I'm sure you're well aware of that!" She kept emphasizing my chosen adjective
for the pants.
The pants were much too big for me to wear, had I not been wearing such a
thick diaper. I was afraid the pants would be too big for even the diaper. Mom
had me try the pants on. Amazingly, they fit just right.
I went into the bathroom to see what they looked like on me. My butt
bulged out, and the legs were baggy! The diaper was showing above the pants! And
this was what I was going to wear in school next Monday! What would the other
kids think?
Cindy, of course, got in her two cents. "I think he looks cuter in just
his diaper!" she said. There's that word again, "cute".
My mom gave me a chance to walk around in them a little. After that she
said, "okay, now take them off! "They will be kept in a secret hiding place so
you can't get to them!" she continued as I removed the pants and returned to
wearing just the diaper and a shirt. "Your sisters will know where they are just
in case you need to leave and your dad and I aren't home."
Along with the pants, mom bought me some more diapers. There was one other
thing she bought for me. She reached into the large bag she brought in and
pulled out a pair of plastic pants.
"These will go on over your diapers for added protection!" mom explained.
"I never know when your diapers may not hold up, even as thick as they are."
They were clear, plastic pants that just slipped on over the diaper. Like
the pants mom got me for school, the plastic pants appeared too big to fit, but
mom assured me they would go on quite nicely over my big, thick, bulky diapers.
Like the diapers, my sisters would be putting the plastic pants on me after each
diaper change.
Mom went into my room, opened up the top drawer and stuffed it full of the
new diapers. She then filled the second drawer with more diapers. The third
drawer was already crammed full with the first diapers she bought yesterday. The
plastic pants went into the bottom drawer, relegating my socks and undershirts
to their own section in the bottom drawer.
"These diapers sure do take up a lot of space, Chris!" They did, too! She
put away the last of the diapers and pushed the drawer partially in since the
diapers were packed in there so tightly it wouldn't close all the way. "We may
need to get you another set of drawers."
I now had more diapers than I'd probably need, especially if they got
washed every day or two. Still, it was nice to know I had so many of them, just
in case I decided to get carried away and needed extra changes!
"Look at the time!" mom exclaimed. You're late for your afternoon change!"
said mom. "Lisa! Cindy! Come here!" mom hollered out to the living room.
"Your mom's calling!" Betty told Lisa.
"I know. She's showing Cindy and I how to change and clean Chris. You can
come watch if you want, but it might gross you out."
"I watched my brother get his diapers changed until he was nearly five!"
Betty commented. "This won't gross me out."
Betty followed my two sisters into my bedroom. I felt more embarrassed to
have Betty there as she wasn't my sister. Why she even wanted to watch, I don't
know. There I was on the pad with my legs spread apart, waiting to have my
diaper removed.
"Now you guys get to clean him, too!" my mom said as she stood there to
make sure we were doing the job right. Mom had Lisa do the wiping and powdering.
Cindy was to get her first try at re-diapering me afterwards.
Lisa unfastened the closures to remove the diaper. As I had been dirty
since morning and carrying a large load, the smell was very foul. Lisa winced as
she pulled the messy diaper away from my body, looking at the large mess I left
in there. She held her nose with one hand while pulling the diaper off with the
other. I looked at the diaper, and, as I expected, it was, indeed, a filthy,
sticky, stinky mess.
"I said, you'll need to get used to the smell, Lisa!" commented my mom.
"Don't worry, you'll have plenty of time for that!" she assured Lisa. "This is
only his second day." Mom said that as to further imply that I'd be in diapers
for awhile.
With the diaper off I lay there wearing only my shirt. Betty stood before
me, looking at my butt covered with poop. She had this look of disgust, but more
of disbelief on her face. It was as if she couldn't believe I actually used
these diapers for their intended purpose.
Lisa wiped away the excess matter, and then the rest of my mess until I
was clean. The sensation of being wiped in that area felt so gentle. She made
one final check to see that I was cleaned thoroughly, giving my butt one last
hard wipe.
"Very good, Lisa. Now powder him!" my mom guided. With the same gentle
touching, Lisa applied the powder all over my butt and my crotch. The smell of
the powder blended in with the putrid odor emanating from the soiled diaper.
"Okay Cindy, now it's your turn to put the diaper back on him!" my mom
told my youngest sister. Cindy grabbed a clean diaper from the drawer and slid
it beneath me as I raised myself up. She fastened the sides. This time there was
one more step added to the diaper process, the plastic pants. While I could have
just as easily slipped them on myself, mom insisted that I not perform my own
diapering. She slide them up as far as they could go and then dismissed me.
It had to have been over ten minutes that the girls spent on getting my
diaper changed. "Now work on your speed!" mom advised my sisters. "Make it a
goal to have him changed in five minutes. That'll be especially necessary when
you change him before leaving for school."
School, I just couldn't shut it out of my mind. That was still the only
thing I didn't like about this diaper punishment, going to school in these
diapers I enjoyed so much at home. It was the only part of wearing diapers that
I could actually see as punishment. Having my sisters change me wasn't really
that bad after all, I decided.
"Cindy, remember that you get to clean him up tomorrow!" mom reminded her.
I was free to go. I went back out to the living room. As I walked, the plastic
pants made a crinkling sound, which I liked to hear. Anything that the diapers
did to arouse my senses was quite gratifying. No longer could I walk in silence
as the plastic pants would be a constant reminder of their presence.
About an hour later Lisa and Betty were playing against Cindy and I in a
board game that we had played many times over the years. In the middle of the
game, I needed to go again. As it always seemed I needed to go shortly after a
change, the diapers had a way of eliciting an urge to go to the bathroom. Maybe
it was just timing. Whatever the case may be, I always needed to go to the
bathroom right after my diaper got changed.
I was sitting in a wooden chair, hoping that I could take this opportunity
to try to poop without making it obvious. Lisa looked at me where I was seated
across from her. She could tell by the strained look on my face that I needed to
go.
"Need to poop, huh?" she asked, rather loudly I might add.
"Uh, huh."
"Just go right there, Chris; you've got a diaper on!"
"And plastic pants, too!" added Cindy.
Once again I had to get up on my knees and let it loose. I was beginning
to wonder if I would ever master the technique of messing my diapers
inconspicuously. No longer was it so important to master this technique because
of my sisters (since they already knew about it), but, I wanted to be able to do
this while at school. I couldn't just sit up in class or squat down in the
middle of the playground. I still felt awkward to mess my diapers in the
presence of my two sisters and an overnight guest; it was just something I had
always done in the privacy of my bedroom. I hoped to get over my inhibiting
feelings since-- it was so-- fun! The reward was well worth it: getting to wear
big, thick diapers full of a big wet, squishy mess! This was the life! I knew
that I would eventually get over the awkward feeling, and I would probably learn
how to mess in my diapers without anyone knowing. I had until Monday. Tomorrow
was my last "practice" day.
DIAPER DESIRES: PART 6
----------------------
As I lay in my bed that night, I heard Lisa and her guest Betty romping
around and being the typical pre-teen girls they were. Mom and dad told them
they could stay up as long as they were quiet. Quiet? Ha! Everything they did
from the non-stop giggling to running up and down the hall kept me awake.
Eventually my dad got up and told them to go to bed. I also heard him chew them
out for spilling popcorn all over the floor and that they were to clean it up in
the morning.
After things quieted down I finally dropped off to sleep, though it must
have been past 1:00 A.M. as I remember looking at my digital clock and noting
the time. As I tried to get to sleep, I rolled around on the mattress, feeling
the bulk beneath me, as well as the mess I deposited in there earlier that
evening. Just knowing I was securely and heavily diapered was a comforting
thought. I was like a baby again...peacefully asleep.
SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 5, 1989
The next morning I lay there for a few minutes in a pre-awakened state,
not even remembering that I had a dirty diaper on until I became just a little
more alert. I rolled back onto my butt, feeling the poop, now cold and more
solid, press up against my behind. I also needed to pee. It was starting to
become more natural to just let the pee out when I needed to. I just lay there
in bed and let it out with little hesitation, feeling wet warmth spread outward
from the front of the diaper.
After I peed in my diaper and took a moment to enjoy its sensation I got
out of bed and saw what the living room looked like after Lisa and Betty trashed
it. In addition to popcorn they left half-consumed cans of pop, video tapes, and
Nintendo games scattered about the floor. They also left pillows and blankets;
it was a total mess.
It was 9:00 A.M. and I was now wide awake in spite of falling asleep late.
I was almost always the first one to be out of bed on Sunday mornings. Back in
my pre-diaper days I walked outside in my underwear to grab the newspaper for
the comics. There was nothing unusual about an eight-year-old boy in his
underwear and I didn't care if any of the neighbors or passers-by saw me. If
anything, they probably thought I was crazy to go outside in my underwear in
November. I was only out there for maybe a minute at the most.
Now I was in a diaper. I didn't think any of the neighbors would expect to
see me in diapers. Not only that, but it was very cold that morning. A typical
November morning hovered around 20 degrees in our part of the country. This year
it was frigidly cold, around zero degrees, too cold for going outside for even a
few seconds.
I couldn't wait to read the comics. I thought the situation over and
decided to chance having someone see me in my diaper. I could have grabbed a
towel and held it around me to at least cover up the diaper from view, but the
idea of having someone see me in a diaper sounded exciting and adventuresome.
Who would possibly be outside in this weather, anyway?. I was, as it turned out.
I opened the front door and ran out to the street to retrieve the paper. I
looked across the street, where the drapes in the window had been shut, so at
least the people across the street probably didn't see me. I also didn't see
anybody outside at our next-door neighbors' homes. There was, however, a car
that was coming up the street. As they drove into view of our house I was
running back to the front door. I looked back as they went by. They were an
elderly couple, probably on their way to church. I knew that the old lady in the
passenger's seat looked at me as they drove by. She had to have seen my thickly-
padded butt bouncing up and down as I ran back into the house, but she probably
thought nothing of it except that it was far too cold for me to be outside
without a coat, or pants, for that matter.
It felt good to get back into the house, which was probably 65 degrees
since the heat was turned down every night, though it felt so warm and cozy
after being outside. My bare feet and equally bare legs were numb from the cold.
I pulled out the comics and read them as I waited for the rest of the family to
wake up.
My family typically didn't do much of anything on Sundays. While our
family has its religious faiths, we didn't attended church all that much.
Sometimes we would go out to breakfast or go visit nearby relatives, or do
something fun. Then, on days like this, everyone just bummed around and stayed
home.
This just wasn't the day to go anywhere. It was very cold, foggy, drab and
dreary outside. Dad watched his football game on TV. Mom was working on her
quilt with Cindy helping her. Lisa and Betty were still asleep-- no big
surprise-- considering they probably stayed up all night even after they got
sent back to their room. I played with my Legos to finish the project I started
two nights ago. Everybody had their own separate activities and went about their
own business.
After Cindy and I ate breakfast, mom had her clean me and change my
diaper. Into my room went the three of us. I got into position for Cindy to undo
my diaper, mom watching overhead. She pulled away the diaper and, just as Lisa
had done, she winced at the sight and the smell of the poop. Just as mom had
told Lisa, she told Cindy she'd have to get used to the smell.
Cindy took the wipe and gingerly cleaned my genital area. Next, she
applied the powder as I breathed in and enjoyed it's pleasing fragrance. Lastly,
she slid one of my wonderfully soft diapers under me and fastened it up, topping
it off with the plastic pants.
As I was passing through the living room I heard the announcer on TV say
that snow was in the forecast later this afternoon. The first snow of the season
is always an exciting moment. The only thing that was different, however, was
that I would probably not get to play in it this winter. Every few minutes I
would stop my playing with Legos and look out my window, just to see if it had
started snowing.
The afternoon went on. Lisa and Betty were up and cleaning up the mess
they made in the living room the night before. I got burned out on the Legos and
decided to pull out my collection of Hot Wheels and Matchbox cars instead,
setting up the race track that I had for them. I whiled away an afternoon
watching my little cars speed around the track, crashing them every now and
then. Without expecting it, I had a visitor.
"Hi Chris!" came a familiar voice from my bedroom door. It was Tony! I
didn't expect him to come over today, though he was always welcome to drop in. I
probably didn't hear the doorbell as Lisa was running the vacuum in the living
room. No doubt the first thing Tony saw was the diaper I was wearing. I meant to
tell him about the diapers when I saw him at school tomorrow, but now it looked
like he found out for himself a little sooner than I had planned.
Before I had a chance to acknowledge his greeting, he said "Wow, Chris!
You're wearing a diaper!"
I was feeling a bit embarrassed, so I started to close my legs to conceal
my bulging crotch, but there was no way I could hide it. My shirt was tucked in
beneath the diaper, and turning around would have just flashed my gleaming-white
diapered butt to him , so I just had to sit there with my diaper fully exposed.
"I'm being punished!" I started. I didn't want to sound like I was
enjoying the "punishment". "I have to wear diapers now, and I have to go around
the house in them all the time." I felt a bit awkward having to explain this to
him, even as much as I trusted him.
At this point he was wanting to know more. "Why is your mom making you
wear them?" he asked.
Here I go. I wasn't ready to explain this to him, especially since I
didn't expect him to even come over.
"You're probably gonna think I'm weird when I tell you this, Tony." I
paused for a moment. "Have you ever wanted to be a baby again?" I opened.
"What? You mean, like, you wish you could be born again and start your
life over? Yeah, I've done that..."
"No, no, Tony, that's not what I meant. What I mean is, do you ever wish
you could have kept wearing diapers, after you were potty trained? Or, do you
ever wish you were never potty trained? Probably not, huh?"
"Well, I...!" he hesitated. "yeah, sometimes I've thought about it. It
took me awhile to get potty trained and I hated it, I wished I could have still
worn diapers at that time. My parents made me stop wearing them and made me feel
guilty whenever I wanted to wear a diaper, or if I pooped my pants, so that's
how they finally trained me."
I was surprised to hear him open up the way he did. What surprised me more
was how his early childhood was so similar to mine in this particular aspect. I
expected him to simply say nothing and not talk about it any more. After all, he
typically wasn't one to just impart such personal information on topics such as
toilet training. In a subtle, inexplicable way, I sensed that he had some
interest in wanting to wear diapers again. Somehow, I had a feeling he had more
to tell.
"But why are you wearing diapers now?" he asked.
Now that I had broken the ice on the subject, and he seemed interested
enough to want to know more, I felt more at ease in explaining the whole thing.
I went into how I was almost five before being potty trained, getting my diapers
taken away and forced to go around naked, being grounded to the bathroom,
everything I could remember from just a few years ago. I also went into how I
messed in my undies all the time and got in trouble for it. I ended the story
with how mom found my dirty underwear and put me in diapers. When I finished I
just sat there and looked at him. After a moment of hesitation I said "now you
probably think I'm weird or something."
"No, I don't think you're weird. Not at all. I kind of felt that way too,
when I was younger, but I guess I just never took things as far as you did. I
promise that I will not tell anyone at school! You know I'm your best friend!"
"Thank you, Tony!" I told him. He truly was a good guy to know and he knew
I trusted him. Actually, the way I saw it, he wanted to assure himself that we
had a solid friendship so that if he started wearing diapers himself, he could
trust me not to tell anyone.
"Why don't you wear your pants over them?" he continued.
"I got them taken away! This is all have to wear now, diapers! All I have
is one pair of pants that I only wear to school."
"Really!" he replied excitedly. Excited enough that I was more certain
that he had in interest in my diapers.
"Can I ask you something, Chris?" asked Tony.
"Yeah, what?"
"Do you use those diapers? I mean, do you go to the bathroom in them, or
do you still use the toilet sometimes?"
"My mom and dad said I can't use the toilet at all anymore." His eyes lit
up! "That's what the diapers are for."
"And how long will they make you do this?" he asked, keeping his eyes wide
open.
"I dunno. They haven't said how long." He was asking me questions. This
indicated to me that he showed definite interest. He wanted to wear diapers,
too!
"When do you change them?" he asked.
"In the morning, after school, and before bed."
"So you need to change them now? I'll leave the room if you want while you
change."
"I don't change them myself; my sisters do."
"Your SISTERS change your diapers? My gosh!" This had him completely
astonished. Telling him this completely took him aback.
"Mom can't always change them so now Lisa and Cindy have to help her."
"You can't just change them yourself?"
"I'm not allowed to; it's part of my punishment like everything else my
parents are making me do."
I looked down at Tony's pants and noticed a small bulge beneath the fly of
his jeans. He had an erection. It was becoming more obvious that he liked the
idea of wearing diapers, too. I liked the idea of Tony's apparent interest in
this matter. At least I wouldn't be alone at school if he started wearing them
himself.
Tony and I raced the cars around the track awhile. I had several other
playthings to choose from, but most of the time, however, we played with the
Legos, the cars, or played Nintendo games. After telling Tony that my diapers
were stuffed into where my underwear used to be, I noticed he kept looking at
the drawers, especially since some of the diapers were sticking out from one of
the drawers which was partially open. At around 2:00 mom had lunch ready for all
of us. It was also around that time when it began to snow. The snow fell lightly
first, then quickly increased in its intensity. It looked like an early winter
was quickly setting in.
Betty's mom showed up to pick her up shortly afterwards. Tony and I just
sat there in the living room when Betty's mom came in. I tried to sit in such a
way to minimize exposing my diapers. Still, she had to have seen the thick
padding in my crotch. She said "hi, Chris!" as she looked at me. I hoped she'd
think I was just sitting there in my underwear as she had seen me do before, but
it was awfully thick to be just underwear, not to mention that plastic outer
layer. Betty was sure to tell her mom all about it anyway.
It was time to poop again. I was sitting there in the living room with
Tony next to me as we played Super Mario Brothers against each other. The
feeling came on so suddenly that it just came out before I had a chance to think
about it for very long. The best thing about it was that I remained seated the
whole time without having to change my position. Yes! I did it! I could poop my
diaper without getting off my butt! It was a wet, runny poop, which helped it to
flow out more easily. Cindy was really going to hate changing me this evening! I
knew it would be a big mess for her! Somehow I got some gratification over
making my diaper changes messy and stinky for my sisters. They got their
allowances doubled; I just wanted them to earn every penny of it!
My mess was more smelly than any of the ones I had so far. This was
evidenced by Tony's comment. "Phew! You farted!" he said.
"I kinda more than farted!" I said. "I pooped."
"Wow! You just pooped your diaper, huh? Gee..."
As I looked at him, he had this look of envy, as if he wished he could
have done the same. He was even moving his body around, in a subtle way, but
enough that I noticed, as if he were trying to have an accident in his pants. I
wanted to offer him one of my diapers to sneak back home, but I decided I'd wait
until he'd ask me first. I felt it was best to let him decide when he was ready
to try one.
Cindy, who was busy catching up on her weekend homework, came out to
remind me of my afternoon change. Tony just stayed where he was and continued
playing the game while I was dragged into my room to get changed. "Come on,
Chris, time to change your didy, hee, hee!" she giggled, knowing that Tony was
right there to hear it.
To my room, to my pad, lift my legs up-- I knew the routine. Cindy knelt
down and removed the diaper.
"Goodness, Chris!" she exclaimed. You're a real mess!"
"It came out runny!" I said plainly, again getting some gratification from
making such a mess.
"Eww, yucch, I see that!"
Cindy had to use one of the rags to wipe all the excess liquidy poop from
me before using the wipes. She gave my butt a final wipe to make sure it was
clean. She got me diapered up again and I was ready to resume my activities.
"So, what does Tony think of your diapers?" Cindy asked.
"He was surprised. He didn't expect me to be wearing them."
"Oh, I see. Maybe we can diaper him too when he stays over next time!"
"If he'll let you guys..."
"What! I was kidding! Don't tell me HE wants to wear them! Does he?"
"I dunno. I think he does." Actually, I knew he did, I knew damn well,
too.
"Serious? What is it with you guys? You wanna be BABIES the rest of your
life?!"
What else could I say? "Yes." She rolled her eyes and shrugged.
As I returned to the living room, Tony asked to stay over Friday night. He
usually didn't plan things like this five days in advance, but, I knew what he
was thinking-- he wanted a chance to wear my diapers!
"I wanna stay over Friday night! I'll ask my mom!" The way he told me he
wanted to stay over, he made it sound like it was the greatest thing in the
world. I don't think he realized how obvious his actions were. I even noticed a
small wet spot on his jeans after I returned from my diaper change. I didn't say
anything.
"Okay, let me ask my mom!" I said. My mom said it was okay for Tony to
stay over, however, she did remind me of one of the conditions of my punishment:
"remember, you have to stay in your diapers the whole time he's here." No
problem, since he's already seen me wearing them. In fact, they visually
stimulated his interest in wearing them even more. It seemed like he wanted to
sit behind me at all times just to see how big and thick my diaper was on my
butt.
"I better call my mom right now so she can come pick me up!" said Tony. "I
can't ride my bike in the snow now." I looked outside, and already the ground
was completely blanketed with snow.
"Tell her I'll run you home, Tony!" said my mom as he got up to call her.
"Just leave your bike here and you can ride it home after school when the
weather gets better...if it ever does, ugh." My mom was never fond of winter
weather.
It was turning dark when my mom ran Tony back to his house. The snow had
already accumulated to over two inches and, as it was still coming down heavily,
it looked like a lot more was on the way, perhaps enough to cancel school!
DIAPER DESIRES: PART 7
----------------------
Later in the evening it was time for my bath. Before I took my bath, Lisa
and Cindy played paper-scissors-rock to determine who got to change my diaper.
Lisa chose the scissors and Cindy chose the rock, so Lisa got the honors.
"Come on, Chris, let's get your diaper off!"
I went into position on my pad as Lisa went through the routine. She
removed the soiled diaper and tossed it into the bucket. I was a mess, of
course, but she didn't wince the way I expected her to. Maybe she was getting
used to the smell, or at least didn't express any disgust over the odor. She got
me all cleaned up and told me to go take my bath, leaving my diaper off for now.
Running down the hallway completely naked, I headed for the bathroom, a room I
now only rarely went into. By force of habit, I closed the door. Lisa, right
behind me, opened it back up.
"You need to leave the door open so we can see that you're not using the
toilet! If we see you use it, or hear it flush, you're in trouble! If you don't
flush, we'll see what you left in there, and you'll still be in trouble! That
means getting spanked, and WITHOUT a diaper padding up your butt! It'll really
hurt, too!"
I had absolutely no intentions of using the toilet, I just wanted to take
my bath. After I filled the tub I sat down in the warm-hot water. The skin in my
diaper area was now more sensitive to the water's temperature. My skin had
apparently developed a rash from wearing diapers all the time. It took a few
minutes for my skin to acclimate itself to the water. I splashed around and
played with my boats and other toys that I took into the tub. I had some old
Fisher Price people that I always liked to drown. I used to take my sisters'
dolls and drown them, too, but my mom made me stop doing that because one of the
dolls had motorized arms and legs and the water made it stop working. I got in a
lot of trouble for that and other shenanigans that I pulled on my sisters.
I got out of the tub and dried off. I then walked out to the living room
naked. I had to tell Lisa I was ready to have my diaper put back on. Before she
went into my room she checked the toilet and made sure that I hadn't used it.
Since the toilet was white, it was easier to see if any urine was in there.
After her examination of the toilet confirmed that I did not use it she led me
into my room. She slid the diaper beneath me, noting that my skin was red and
irritated.
"You have a rash, Chris!" she pointed out. "I'll put some stuff on it."
She reached for the ointment and spread it all around my diaper area. I
felt her hand gently rubbing it on. It felt good, soothing, and cool to the
touch. Next was the diaper and the plastic pants; they felt even better. As she
had done before, she put them on expertly, tightly, and securely.
At 9:00 the TV station ran a news preview. As we heard the familiar news
music and the announcer, Lisa, Cindy, and I all turned to the TV, literally
keeping our fingers crossed, hoping the schools would be closed because of the
snow today. After we impatiently waited for the news anchor to preview all of
the top stories, at long last was the news we waited for:
"...and parents, it's back to school for your children despite the four
inches of snow that fell in the valley today. There are no announced school
closures at this time, but we will keep you posted in the event of any announced
closures. We'll have more on tomorrow's weather forecast coming up..."
"Aww...!" we all said in unison, and in disappointment.
Mom, who was also watching, said "they said no closures 'at this time', so
they may still be closed tomorrow." Still, this meant going through the night
anxiously wondering if we'd get another day off. The last hour passed, and then
mom sent us to bed at 10:00.
"Let us know what they say on the news!" said Cindy.
"I will! Good night, children."
I went to bed thinking about wearing diapers in school. I wasn't sure that
I was prepared to go around the school in a diaper. Just wearing it to class was
one thing; actually using the diaper in the presence of other kids, even if they
never knew I was wearing one, would be quite an inhibition for me to overcome. I
knew that when and if I needed to go during class it would be difficult to do,
at least psychologically.
About fifteen minutes had passed when mom went to our bedrooms and told us
that no closures were announced. Disappointed of my hopes of delaying having to
go to school in diapers, I began to think about being there in class.
It would be too obvious to hide anything. For one, my butt bulged from the
thickly-layered diaper. My pants were for someone with a much bigger waist than
mine, so the legs were big and baggy on me. I couldn't walk normally. The wide,
bulky crotch of my diaper forced me to walk with my legs spread apart. Maybe if
I kept my coat on it would go over my butt and not make it so obvious. Lastly,
the plastic pants crinkled whenever I walked. Because of my concerns about being
in school in diapers, it took me longer to fall asleep. Eventually, I slipped
into a state of slumber.
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 6, 1989
It was Monday morning, which I always hated as it meant the start of
another five consecutive days of school. I took my place at the table where mom
had set out the cereal and our bowls. After breakfast I went into my usual
routine of brushing my teeth and coming my hair, but that all changed as of this
morning. Before leaving for school, I was to have my diaper checked and, if
necessary, changed. It was Cindy's turn to check my diaper, a duty the girls
would have every morning from now on before leaving.
Cindy pulled off the plastic pants and the diaper. "You're wet, Chris!"
she exclaimed.
"I am?". I was surprised. I didn't even know I had wet in my diaper last
night! The diapers were beginning to have an effect on me. I usually needed to
pee in the morning, but it occurred to me that I didn't need to pee when I woke
up. I was beginning to rely on the diapers and no longer had a need to control
my bladder. In a sense, my potty training was in the process of reversing
itself!
"We gotta catch the bus in ten minutes! I'll hurry!" said Cindy. She gave
my diaper area a quick superficial wipe and began putting a clean diaper on
without applying the powder first.
"Aren't you going to powder me?" I asked her humbly.
"Haven't got time! We're gonna be late!"
Quickly, she slid the diaper beneath me and fastened the velcro closures.
Then ZOOM! She was out of my room! She didn't even bother with the plastic
pants! I came out of my room wearing a diaper that was too loose to even stay
up. Lisa looked at the way my diaper was so hastily thrown on me.
"Cindy! He can't wear his diaper like that!" Lisa remarked. "And he
doesn't even have his plastic pants on!"
"Well, then YOU do it! I'm gonna miss my bus!" hollered Cindy as she
grabbed her lunch and her book bag off the kitchen table and fled out the front
door.
"Chris! We gotta hurry! I'm re-doing your diaper now!"
Back to my room, Cindy undid the loosely fastened closures. She got the
diaper off and looked at my crotch area. There was no powder on me. "Cindy!" she
grumbled. "Doesn't she know to ...aaargh!"
Lisa sprinkled on some baby powder, refastened the diaper, quickly, but
tightly and neatly. She, too, darted out of the room upon finishing, telling me
to slip on the plastic pants myself.
Before leaving my room I changed out of my white undershirt and into a
long-sleeved red shirt. I opened the bottom drawer, grabbed a pair of socks and
slipped them on. As fast I could go, I ran out of my room, still in my diaper. I
wasn't allowed to put my pants on in my room as this, according to my parents,
would have given me a chance to take off my diaper before putting the pants on
and going to school without wearing the diaper. My parents were not thinking
here. Without the diaper, the pants would be constantly dropping to my knees as
they were too big, so I needed to wear the diaper anyway, to add enough bulk
beneath the pants to allow them to stay up.
"Hurry kids!" said mom. She handed me my pants, which I tried to put on as
fast as I could. My bulky diaper made the pants difficult to quickly and easily
slip on. Lastly, I put on my shoes. Mom handed us our lunches and our book bags,
and we were out the door! Lisa was running ahead of me. We both had the snow
slowing us down, but for me, it was even harder to run wearing a diaper. Just as
the bus stop was in sight, we could see the bus coming up the street with its
amber lights flashing. Lisa then split off and went down the other street to her
bus stop as she was in junior high and rode a different bus. In spite of the
snow, and my diapers, I ran as fast as I could, at least so the bus driver would
see me coming. The last two kids were getting on just as I arrived. Exhausted, I
had just made it. I took my seat next to Tony.
"Good morning!" he greeted.
"Good? I almost missed the bus!" I said, broken by gasps, trying to catch
my breath from running so fast.
"So, are you wearing a diaper today?" he asked me.
"Uh huh. I have to, remember?"
"What if the other kids find out you're wearing one?"
"I'll try to make sure they don't. I'll just leave my coat on all day. It
covers up the bulge under my pants."
Tony didn't say much beyond that. At that time of morning, neither of us
was lively enough to talk about much of anything. As the bus pulled into the
school I anticipated walking to the classroom, hoping nobody would notice the
way I walked or hear the plastic pants crinkling. Walking ahead of Tony, I got
off the bus and walked with him up to the building. I kept my legs as closely
together as I could, hoping to look natural. So far so good. The crunching of
the snow as I walked on it helped to mute the sound of the plastic pants. My
classroom came before Tony's, so I gave him the high five and told him I'd see
him at recess. I was as self-conscious as ever as I walked into the classroom.
Without looking at anyone I took my seat, leaving my coat on.
About forty-five minutes into the lesson Mrs. Buxley, the teacher, stopped
and asked me why I still had my coat on. "I'm cold!" I told her.
This was a semi-valid reason as the room was a bit chilly. The other
students, who had removed their coats before taking their seats also requested
wearing their coats.
"The room will warm up soon!" said Mrs. Buxley. "Chris, go hang up your
coat."
"Oh, boy!" I thought. I walked over to the coat hooks and took off my coat
to hang it up, immediately returning to my seat. Did anyone see me? Hear me?
What did I look like? It was hard to concentrate on the math lesson. Mrs. Buxley
wrote a series of addition problems on the board and called students up at
random to fill in the answers. "Don't call me to the board!" I thought
repetitively. "Don't call me to the board! Pleeeeease don't call me to the
board!"
"Chris! Come do number four!" she called.
"Oh, no!" I thought. I rose from my seat and walked past eight students
who must have seen my bulging butt and heard the plastic moving around beneath
them. Now the secret was out. I heard two girls giggling. Nervously, I wrote in
the answer to my assigned problem.
"That's correct, Chris!" said the teacher. "Please return to your seat
now." I walked back down the row, noting that the two giggling girls, Megan and
Tracy, were staring right at me as I walked by. I could feel my face blush. The
cat was out of the bag!
The first recess bell rang at 10:15. I wanted to stay in the classroom,
but the teacher made us all leave for recess, even if we didn't feel like going
outside. Today recess was confined to the gymnasium because of the snow and
extreme cold. I grabbed my coat, trying to ensure that it concealed the bulge
beneath my pants. I waited for Megan and Tracy to walk out of the classroom
before I did. I followed behind them to see where they went. They went over to
the far corner of the gym to play jumprope. I met up with Tony at the corner
opposite of where the girls were. We then sat on the bleachers and talked, which
is what some of the kids opted to do over playing basketball or engaging in the
other activities in the gym.
Tony and I just talked about our usual boy-oriented topics: Legos, video
games, comic books, reasons to hate our sisters, stuff like that. Tony noticed
that my pants were the "geeky" kind, like Cory's.
"Your mom had to get you the worst pants she could find, huh?" he
commented.
"I told her I thought they were dorky, but she told me I had to wear
these, or come to school in my you-know-what."
I knew that it would be difficult to be comfortable in school wearing
diapers, just because nobody else wore them. These kids were all told by their
parents, including mine, that "diapers are for babies". With this piece of
parental brainwashing drilled into every child's developing mind, these children
are taught to grow up with the mindset that diapers are something to grow out
of, and growing out of them marks a pivotal point in a child's development that
distinguishes a "little" kid from a "big" kid.
While I enjoyed wearing diapers, I knew that this was something that other
kids would find amusing and they would laugh at me and tease me for it, so I had
to be careful not to allow my diaper to show.
Tony and I were not exactly the most prominent kids in the third grade.
Neither of us talked to others that much, so only a few of the other kids even
knew us. Most of the time we just hung out with each other on the school grounds
and stayed away from the other boys, most of whom were into playing sports. Tony
and I were not sports-oriented individuals and rarely participated in any of the
lunch-hour games of softball, basketball, or whatever was going on.
Because we kept ourselves fairly isolated from the rest of the class,
there wasn't as much of a risk of someone finding out about my diapers, though,
there still was always that chance. Two girls in my class already suspected it
earlier. The time for recess always seemed to pass quickly, as it did today, and
just as it seemed to have just started, the bell was already ringing.
Just before the class settled down, Megan and Tracy both looked at me as I
was sitting in my seat. In unison, they turned to each other and giggled. They
had to have known that I had something big and bulky beneath my pants. They were
going about it in a very subtle way. They could have walked right up to me at
recess and said something like "hey Chris! Why are your pants so big? And why is
your butt so big? You must have a diaper on!"
I sat through the reading and grammar lesson, thinking of what would
happen on lunch hour. I tried to concentrate on the lesson, but I just couldn't.
The story that we were assigned to read was too boring, so naturally my thoughts
returned to anticipating the onslaught of teasing that would come from all the
kids. I was a perfect target. Any kid that had a notably unique characteristic
that wasn't common to most students was often ridiculed. Only a few of the kids
wore glasses, so everyone else called them "four eyes". Fat kids were teased,
kids with braces were teased, kids with learning disabilities were teased. This
school had a cruel bunch of kids. Most of the teasing came from Sean and his
gang of bullies. These kids, who were truly deserving of ridicule, were the
troublemakers. The group was never fully represented as, at any given time, at
least one of them was in the principal's office or forced to stay in class
during lunch.
At least the kids they targeted were not alone amongst themselves, that
is, there was not just one fat kid or just one kid who wore glasses. For what I
knew, kids who wore diapers were non-existent, except for me. Mom could at least
give me thinner, less visible diapers to wear to school, or just not make me
wear them to school at all. Of course part of my punishment was for me to wear
them at all times, including school. Having me wear such thick diapers, I had to
wear those loose, oversized pants, and there was no possible way to conceal the
thick padding around my butt. I wasn't a group, but an individual. Not only
would Sean's gang tease me, but so would everybody else. Megan and Tracy seemed
like decent girls who would do no harm, but I was mistaken when they giggled at
me, so I couldn't really trust anyone.
Just before lunch, I needed to pee again. We were now in our "silent
reading" session. The room was mostly quiet, silence broken only by humming
fluorescent tubes, blowing heat vents, and the occasional shuffling of paper. I
looked around the room, hoping that nobody was staring at me. Everyone was
engrossed in their own reading or daydreaming and paid me no attention.
Still, I was in a room with 26 other kids. Just as I had anticipated the
night before, the classroom was not a natural setting for going to the bathroom.
Suddenly I had full control of my bladder again, holding it back as if to wait
until a toilet was available to me. In fact, the classroom setting was so
inhibiting that I couldn't pee in the diaper at all. I could feel my bladder
filling up, but the presence of other kids made me too self-conscious. It
bothered me that I had to go so bad, and that I could easily go in my diaper at
home, but not at school. As Mrs. Buxley monitored the room, she noticed my
expressions of discomfort.
"Is something wrong, Chris?"
"Yeah."
"What? What is it? Do you need to go to the bathroom?" In a classroom
devoid of any noise, this question was loudly and distinctly heard by everyone
in the room. What an embarrassment! Saying nothing, I nodded my head and
everyone in the class chuckled.
Lunch was fifteen minutes away, but Mrs. Buxley was good about letting her
students use the restroom during class if she perceived it as being urgent. I
got out of my seat, hoping nobody would look at the bulge beneath those
oversized pants. I ran right to the restroom and into a stall, having dropped my
pants as I sat on the toilet with my diaper on. Although I had privacy now, I
was still in the school building, which, as a whole, I perceived as an
inhibiting environment. It still took several seconds, perhaps a minute to get a
stream going. Finally, I was wetting my diaper in the school restroom! In a
slow, steady stream, the last of it drained out. Just for good measure, I
checked to make sure I had no leaks. From the outside I was bone-dry. I pulled
up my pants and returned to class.
12:15, the lunch hour bell rang. I met with Tony at "our" table. After
lunch I suggested we go to the library, which was open for students during
lunch. I wanted to go mainly to get away from the other kids. Tony didn't mind.
Actually, he thought it was a good idea. Most of the time we just walked around
the playground and talked during recess and lunch. We weren't into playing
sports like the rest of the kids were. We would have had to sit in the gym on
the bleachers for the rest of the lunch period. That sounded lame to both of us,
so the library was a good "escape" for us.
It was nearly 1:00, the time lunch was over. As luck would have it, we
bumped into Megan and Tracy as we exited the library. They stood back and stared
at my pants. This time they said something to me.
"Hi, Chris!" said Megan. "Nice pants!" They then went into their giggling
as they continued walking down the hall to the classroom. I don't know if their
comment was directed at the fact that they were highly unfashionable pants, or
if because they knew of what I was wearing underneath.
Tony and I split off and returned to our classes. At this point I decided
to ignore Megan and Tracy. I figured that their fun would get old and they
wouldn't giggle at me anymore if I didn't show any response. So far so good. The
two girls were keeping their antics to themselves. Even during the afternoon
recess they didn't say anything to me. The afternoon slowly dragged on until the
dismissal bell finally rang and I fled for the bus. Tony soon joined me in my
seat and we were headed for home.
DIAPER DESIRES: PART 8
----------------------
"Can I come over to your house today?" Tony asked me as the bus pulled out
to the street.
"Yeah, but you probably can't stay very long."
"I know. Nobody will be at my house, so I thought I'd stay at your place
for a little bit."
"That's fine, I don't think my mom will mind if you hang around." Whether
or not he was lying about nobody being at his house, I knew that he wanted to
catch another good glimpse at my diapers, so I cordially accepted his self-
invitation.
Tony and I got off the bus and walked home with Cindy. Coming in the door,
my mom was sitting in the living room watching TV. Lisa was already home and in
her room supposedly doing her homework. After greeting us mom said, "Okay,
Chris, you're home now, so you know what that means-- take off your pants!"
With Tony standing right behind me, I removed my pants and handed them to
mom, fully revealing the diaper. A few minutes later Tony and I were in my
bedroom, just like yesterday, reading comic books and MAD magazines. In the
midst of our laughter, Lisa walked right into my room, went straight to my
diaper drawer, pulled out a clean diaper and said "It's changing time!" She was
holding the diaper out in front of her, completely open and showing the thick
center layers. My sisters did whatever they could to try to embarrass me in
front of Tony. All they did for Tony was make him covet my diapers even more.
"I'll turn around while you get changed!" said Tony, sitting on my bed. He
probably wanted to watch me get changed, but he didn't want to appear to be too
excited to enjoy the show. As Lisa stripped me of my diaper, I looked up at Tony
sitting on my bed with his back turned. I could tell he was trying to sneak a
peek or two at us. Lisa was talking in baby-talk only because Tony was there.
"Ooh! Didums wet his didy in school? Wittle Cwissy needs a cwean, dwy diaper
now!" I was quite annoyed at the way she kept talking.
"Lay off the baby-talk, Lisa!" I told her.
"But you ARE a baby, Chris! Babies wear diapers!"
"I'm not a baby!" I demanded. "I'm eight years old!"
"Okay, you're an eight-year-old who wears DIAPERS! You can't argue about
THAT one, Chris!" She concluded her assertion with a snide "ha!"
I couldn't argue about it; she was right. I was, factually speaking, an
eight-year-old diaper wearer, soon to be a nine- year-old diaper wearer in a few
months. Lisa just made a big point of it since Tony was there. A couple of wipes
to my butt and genital area, a sprinkling of that sweet-smelling baby powder and
another fresh diaper and plastic pants, and I was once again clean, dry and
secure.
It was about 4:00, so Tony and I had about an hour left to play with my
Legos before he had to go home. Tony had just called his mom who was to pick him
up after five. Tony liked to come over to my place to play with my Legos since
he didn't have nearly as many nor could he do as much with his set. Now he had
another reason to come over and visit. I had an entire "town" set up in the
corner of my room, complete with buildings, cars, and people. Tony and I would
pretend we were two of the people walking or driving our little cars around the
town. The town had only "fun places" to go. There was a video arcade, a toy
store, an ice cream parlor, a pizza parlor, a movie theater, and all the other
places we liked to go. There were no schools or insurance offices or other
boring places. There was a police station, however, (even in a "fun" town you
have to maintain law and order) and we kept sending "Sean" and his bully-buddies
to the jail. Recently I added a "diaper store" to the town. This town of ours
was a good place for Tony and I to expand our imaginations.
As I was on my knees pushing cars around, I felt a need to go to the
bathroom, number two. Staying in my position, I started to push out the load
into my diaper. I tried to do it discreetly, but Tony knew that I was messing in
my diaper.
"Wow! You just went in them again! And you just got changed, too! How
much did you go?"
"It didn't feel like very much, I'll probably have to go again soon."
"What does it feel like?" Tony asked.
"It's warm, wet, and squishy!" I said with a bit of a smile. This must
have further aroused his interest in wearing the diapers. He had that look
again, that look that said "I wish I could do that, too!"
A moment later mom called me out. As I left my room, Tony just stayed in
there lying on my bed reading one of my older MAD magazines. My Uncle Frank and
my Aunt Rita called my mom that afternoon to confirm their plans for visiting
our place for Christmas. They always liked to talk to my sisters and I whenever
they called, so I spent about five minutes on the phone with each of them. I
learned that their family, which included my cousins Nancy and Darren, would be
visiting over the holiday season. Like everyone else who came to our house, they
probably wouldn't expect to see me in diapers unless my mom told them ahead of
time. I expected Nancy to join in with my sisters and giggle at the sight of my
diapers. Darren was just like a brother to me when he visited. In fact, he was
more like a friend. Still, what would he think of me wearing diapers? Christmas
was still over six weeks away, so I had awhile to anticipate their arrival and
think about what they might say to me, and to my parents for putting me in
diapers.
About fifteen minutes had passed during the time I was out of my room. As
I returned, I saw Tony kneeling down in front of my diaper drawers. One of my
diapers was sitting on the floor next to him. He was holding another one,
looking closely at the thick, soft, absorbent layers in the rear. I also
couldn't help but to notice that he had undone the zipper on his pants,
apparently to give his erection some freedom. I saw the front of his underwear
poking out of his pants. As he saw me enter the room he quickly stuffed the
diaper he was holding back into the bottom drawer. He had this surprised look
and his face was red.
"I was just looking at them!" he defended. "Really, I was!" He was quite
embarrassed to have been caught looking at my diapers.
"I just didn't think they even made diapers for anyone bigger than a baby,
or maybe a toddler!" he continued. "I was just curious, since I've never seen
diapers for bigger kids." He was trying to inconspicuously zip his pants back
up.
"You have now, you've seen mine. It's okay, Tony. I don't mind if you want
to look at them." I was doing everything I could to allay his embarrassed
feelings. The redness disappeared from his face, though he still seemed alarmed
over the way I caught him going through my diaper drawers. "If you want to take
one you can!" I offered.
"No, I just wanted to look at them!" he countered. I knew that he'd feel a
lot better if he'd just open up and tell me he wanted to wear diapers, and I
certainly would have given him one, but he just wasn't ready to tell me, though
at this point he probably knew that I could sense his wanting my diapers.
Tony's mother showed up shortly afterwards to pick him up. As it was very
cold outside, she didn't bother to come in, but rather, she just honked the car
horn to alert Tony. Before he left, I asked him if I could go to his place
tomorrow.
"I'll ask my mom!" he said. Of course I had to ask my mom, too.
"Yes, but you have to stop by here first!" she said. "You need your diaper
changed before you can go anywhere after school, and I won't let you do that
very often, so you'd better make tomorrow's visit to Tony's worthwhile."
Tony's mom impatiently sounded the horn again, prompting Tony to get
going. "See you tomorrow!" I said as he walked out the door through the falling
snow. The remainder of the evening went by as it typically did, though dad was
late getting home because of slick roads. As much as it had been snowing the
schools still did not close, again disappointing my sisters and I. Ten o'clock
and I was in bed anticipating what might happen tomorrow at school.
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 7, 1989
Tuesday morning mom got us all up a few minutes earlier. Seeing that we
barely made it out to the bus yesterday, she felt that my sisters needed more
time to change my diaper in spite of admonishing them to change my diaper
faster.
The diapers made me so self-conscious at school that I didn't even want to
wear them while in school. I couldn't even wet or mess them there unless I ran
into the bathroom where I was afforded some privacy.
It seemed to me that the plastic pants were the biggest tell-tale sign
that I had diapers on. There was no way to walk without them making some kind of
noise. At the very least I wanted to go to school wearing the diaper, but not
the plastic pants. I kindly requested to Cindy, who did most of my morning
changes, if I could at least go without the plastic pants today.
"I'd wear them if I were you. Mom will make you wear them, and you don't
want to have any leaks in class, do you?". She was right, so I had her put them
on me.
We managed to make it to the bus stop with time to spare. After enduring
five minutes of a frigid wind chill factor and snow flurries, the bus showed up.
As always I took my seat next to Tony, who appeared to be nearly asleep.
Just like yesterday, I walked to class slowly to minimize the noise from
the plastic pants. Tony and I split off and agreed to meet in the same spot in
the gym, since it looked like the playground would again be off limits from the
snow. As I sat down in my seat I could hear the plastic pants crinkling, but the
din of the class helped to drown it out.
All throughout the morning lessons I kept my eyes on Megan and Tracy.
While Mrs. Buxley was gabbing away endlessly on multiplication, Megan and Tracy
kept exchanging notes and giggling. Mrs. Buxley, who was always acutely aware of
what was going on in the class, caught the two girls passing the note back and
forth. Their note was confiscated and read aloud in class. She got to a part of
the note that mentioned me and the pants I was wearing. I didn't know what they
wrote, but Mrs. Buxley wouldn't read the rest of it to the class. At that point
she stopped and said "I'll be sure your parents each get a copy of this note! In
the meantime, you two will spend your recesses in class today!"
At least I didn't have to worry about Megan and Tracy spreading the word
around the playground, but that didn't change the fact that I was wearing a
diaper. During recess some of the kids commented on my pants but made no mention
of diapers. It seemed that most kids identified the pants as the mark of a geek,
like Cory, and, thanks to my coat, did not see that there was such bulk
underneath them.
It was hardly ten minutes after I returned from recess and I needed to go
to the bathroom. Lunch was still almost two hours away and I had one of three
choices. First, I could try to use the diaper in class, but as I found out
yesterday, trying to wet in class made me even more self-conscious. Second, I
could try to hold it until lunch and then go into the bathroom at that time.
Lastly, I could get excused from class and go to the restroom as I did
yesterday. I was distracted from the lesson by two things: thinking about the
other kids knowing I wear diapers, and my increasing need to pee. By the time
the clock read 11:30 I was really needing to go. Still, it was hard for me to
let it out in class. All I wanted to do was run down to the bathroom and wet
into the diaper.
Mrs. Buxley was on the ball as always and again saw that I was in
desperate need of using the facilities. "Again, Chris?" she said, and not so
compassionately as she did the day before. "Well, hurry it up!" The class seemed
even more amused over my plight than yesterday.
I ran down the hall into the same bathroom and I used the same stall. I
dropped my pants, sat on the toilet with the diaper on and let it pour out. I
really had to go this time. My diaper felt like it had taken quite a drenching.
Now I was definitely glad I wore the plastic pants.
My diaper was just as wet at school as it was at home, but there wasn't
the fun of wetting a diaper in a place where others may ridicule me just for
wearing them, much less using them. I was wishing that mom would just home-
school me and keep me in diapers all day long. Wearing the diapers in school was
completely different, and unappealing.
I pulled my pants back up and walked back to class. I felt the wetness
slowly finding its way into the diaper as I sat in class for the remainder of
the lesson. Finally it was lunch! As Tony and I sat at our table I debated
drinking any of my fruit punch, but after eating my ham sandwich and potato
chips I needed something to wash down the salty aftertaste. I'd probably pee it
back out of my system on the bus if I timed it right. For the rest of the day I
could feel my wet diaper pressing up against the skin of my genitals and my
crotch. It was strange to feel something that felt so good physically, but, at
school, was mentally disagreeable.
During the afternoon recess I needed to pee again as I expected. At least
I didn't have to be excused from class, so it was a little easier to go into the
restroom, though I still wouldn't say it was a pleasurable experience,
especially since there were other boys in the bathroom.
I went to the same stall that I had gotten accustomed to using. Ensuring
the stall door was closed, I pulled my pants back down and set my diaper-covered
butt on the toilet seat. I wasn't sure if the diaper could take another wetting,
but I had no choice but to find out. I made my wet diaper even wetter, testing
its upper limits. It still managed to hold all of that wetness in. It was,
indeed, a heavy-duty diaper. To make things appear to the other boys that I was
using the toilet I rolled the toilet paper dispenser around and tore a sheet
off. For good measure I flushed the toilet as I exited the stall.
Upon leaving the stall I saw that Sean walked in. This was a good time for
him to torment me.
"Hey, Pissy Crissy! You just made a poopy in there?"
"That's none of your business, Sean!" I snapped.
"You didn't poop? Then you peed?"
"Sean, knock it off!"
"You sat on the toilet to pee! Only girls do that, and girls don't have
dicks, so you must not have a dick!"
"Sean, shut up!"
"Ooh, Crissy's getting mad!" he provoked. I tried to go out the door, but
he kept blocking the doorway to the bathroom, not letting me through. I kept
fighting that mischievous miscreant until I finally got past him.
"You better not tell on me or I'll kick your ass!" he threatened as I ran
down the hall. That was always his standard threat, which he never carried out.
I caught up with Tony during the last five minutes of recess. He could see that
I looked like I'd been through hell.
"Where were you, Chris? What happened?"
"Sean was in the bathroom and he was harassing me again! I hate him! I
hate him! I hate..."
"Everybody hates him, Chris. He didn't beat you up or anything, did he?"
"No, but he wouldn't let me leave! He kept pushing me back from the door!"
"What were you doing in the bathroom, Chris? Aren't you wearing d-"
"Shhh! Not so loud, Tony!" Here we were in a crowded hallway and Tony was
about to say "Aren't you wearing DIAPERS?!" amongst several dozen classmates!
"I'll tell you on the bus!" I said to him. I hadn't yet explained to him
how I had to leave class two days in a row to use the bathroom for its privacy.
We anticipated the bell ringing soon, so we walked down to our classrooms at the
opposite end of the hall and split off. "See you on the bus!" I said, giving him
the high five. I sat through the grammar and spelling lessons while anxiously
waiting for the dismissal bell to ring. The last hour always passed by so slowly
and nothing sounded as good as that final bell. At last it rang and I was out
the door and merrily on my way home.
DIAPER DESIRES: PART 9
----------------------
On our bus ride home, slowed by the icy driving conditions, I explained to
Tony how I had to go into the restroom to use my diaper. Even on the noisy bus I
spoke to him in a low voice to avoid attracting the attention of potential
eavesdroppers.
"By the time it's almost lunch, that's when I have to go to the bathroom!"
I started, "and I just can't go in the diaper because there's all the other kids
in class. My teacher could tell I had to go really bad so she sent me to the
bathroom. In the bathroom I could do it where nobody else was around. I had to
go again at recess and went in there, and that's when I ran into Sean."
"Actually!" I continued, "I wish mom wouldn't have me wear diapers to
school. She makes sure I have a diaper on before I leave every morning. I like
wearing diapers and I wish I could wear them at school without thinking someone
will find out, but they're so big and thick and they show under my pants. I
wouldn't mind if I could wear something a little smaller, just while I'm in
school."
As told to do so by my mom I went straight home first before walking down
to Tony's. My mom wasn't even home, but Lisa was, and she was ready to change
me. She was already holding one of my diapers in her hand as she walked back to
my room. Tony just waited by the door as he knew I'd probably be right back out
after my diaper change. I entered my bedroom and saw Lisa sitting on my bed
waiting for me to take my pants off. Wearing what had to have been my wettest
diaper yet, I lay down on the pad and spread my legs apart as she removed the
sopping- wet diaper. Lisa was quick to notice it had been subjected to
substantial use. "My goodness, are you a wet one today!" she exclaimed. She
ensured that my diaper area was wiped completely and powdered before putting the
diaper on. I was in my plastic pants and ready to go to Tony's, well, almost. I
needed my pants still. Lisa picked them up and started to carry them to wherever
they were hid when I stopped her.
"Hey Lisa! I need those."
"What for? You're not allowed to wear them, diaper-butt!"
"I'm going over to Tony's, now hand them over!" I demanded.
"Okay, diaper-butt, here!" She threw them right in my face. "That's what
I'll call you from now on, I'll call you diaper- butt! That's a good name for
you, Chris! Diaper-butt Chris!" She walked out of my room and headed straight
for the phone to gab with Betty awhile. A minute later I came out and left with
Tony for his house.
It was usually about a ten-minute walk to Tony's house, but the snow and
the dangerously slippery spots on the sidewalk made the walk last about fifteen,
perhaps twenty minutes. At one point I slipped and landed right on my butt. It
would have hurt if the diaper didn't cushion my fall, which turned to be another
good reason to wear them. They were good for more than just one type of
accident!
Tony and I finally made it to his house. His mom served us both some hot
chocolate. After watching the last few minutes of the Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles cartoon we went into his room.
Because Tony had shown such a strong, albeit unspoken interest in diapers,
I was curious if perhaps he wore them, too, and he just didn't tell me anything.
I started examining certain areas in his bedroom more closely, looking for some
kind of evidence that he wore diapers, such as a changing pad, the aroma of baby
powder, or, diapers! Nothing in the way of diapers, but I did see his pile of
dirty clothes on the floor. Among the mounds of clothing were some of his
underpants, some of which had skid marks in them, some with a very prominent
brown spot in the crotch, though nothing nearly as obnoxious as the way I used
to leave my underwear. Maybe he had hidden away his extra-dirtied undies in his
closet, too! It was just a thought.
Tony and I talked more about the difficulties I had with wearing and using
diapers in a classroom environment. "I just can't go around the school in them!"
I said. I was so frustrated that I couldn't get over the anxiety of other kids
possibly finding out. It took the joy out of one of my greatest pleasures,
wearing diapers. "I can't even use them unless I go into the bathroom!" I
commented.
I really hated having to resolve this problem by not wearing the diapers
to school since I wanted to wear them all the time as mandated by my parents,
but being in school in diapers made me too anxious. Had there been a specialized
school only for kids who wore diapers, that would have been great! Everyone
would be wearing diapers and it didn't matter that the other kids knew about it!
I would be very happy in such a school, but this was a public school where, I
presumed, 99.9% of the kids used the toilet.
Looking at Tony's underwear pile, I got an idea. He was the same size as
me so I knew his underwear would fit me. It occurred to me that Tony could pack
a pair of his underwear into his bag before he left for school. While sitting on
the bus, where we were hidden by the high-backed seats, he could transfer his
underwear into my bag. Upon arriving at school, I could run into the bathroom
before class started with my book bag and change out of the diaper and into the
underwear and stick the diaper and plastic pants into the bag during the day.
Then, after school, I could quickly change back into the diaper before getting
on the bus. This would have only required me to be wearing the diaper on the
school grounds while walking to and from the bus. To my mom this would still
make it look like I had the diaper on all day long.
I explained the idea to Tony. He thought it was a good idea, but he
offered a suggestion. "You'll need a belt, too. Those pants are not going to fit
without the diaper. I'll bring one of my belts along, too."
After spending the rest of our time looking at his comic books and trying
to make do with his comparatively lacking Lego set. Mom came by to pick me up
shortly afterwards. She had to know every detail on what I did while out of her
sight, particularly whether or not I left my diaper on.
"You better not have taken off that diaper!" she warned.
"No, mom, I didn't." I didn't stay long enough to make taking it off worthwhile
even if I wanted to, and I certainly did not want to take the diaper off, except
for in school. Back home, I removed my pants and handed them over to mom,
spending the rest of the evening, as always, in my diaper. As I did nearly every
night, I had the pleasure of wetting and messing my diaper and having to sit
around in it for several hours before I was changed again. It was so nice to be
home where I could once again enjoy my poopy diapers the way I wanted to. Such
pleasures were not possible in front of classmates.
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 1989
It was Wednesday morning, my third day of wearing diapers in school, at
least that's what my mom thought. Mom made sure I had plenty of liquids to drink
before heading for the bus stop. I put on the pants over the thick and bulging
diaper and trudged through the snow to catch the bus. One thing I would have to
try to do is wet my diaper in the afternoon after I had changed back into it.
This was a day in which careful planning and timing was essential. I was almost
as anxious today as I had been the last couple days since what I was doing was
unrehearsed and never done before. The only thing I knew was that I didn't have
much time between the classroom and the bus, before and after school.
After I took my seat with Tony, he zipped open his bag and pulled out a
folded up pair of his underwear. I immediately grabbed it and stuffed it into my
bag. Next he handed me the belt. So far, so good. But that was only the easy
part.
Tony knew I didn't have a lot of time to change out of the diaper, so I
quickly walked ahead of him and headed straight for the bathroom. There were two
boys in there already, so I had to be quick, but discreet. I took my favored
stall, closed the door and set my bag on the floor. There was so much in-and-out
traffic in the restroom that I couldn't tell how many boys were in there while I
was changing.
First I took off my shoes, then I quickly removed the pants, the plastic
pants, and finally, the diaper. Everything I did made so much noise. Every move
I made was intensified by the echoes that are inherent to any restroom
environment. My pants didn't make a lot of noise, but the plastic pants made an
insuppressible rustling sound. Since I left my coat on, the sounds it made as I
was changing helped to mask the sound of my plastic pants. My diaper, on the
other hand, made an unmistakable sound that couldn't be covered up. As I pulled
each of the diaper's strong velcro closures apart, they emanated a loud, ripping
noise throughout the restroom. Its sound waves reverberated between the tiled
walls and floor. At least I was hidden by the stall walls and nobody knew that
it was me in there changing out of a diaper.
As I was standing in the stall naked below the waist, the bell rang. Damn!
I needed to really hurry now! Before putting on the underwear I marveled at how
that they were the kind of underwear with the extra layer sewn into the seat. I
knew that Tony always wore such underwear as I had seen him wearing them
whenever he stayed over at my house overnight. I hadn't worn such underwear
since I was six.
His underwear also had evidence of having been pooped in a time or two. I
paused to think about whether Tony pooped in them deliberately or if the stains
in them were only the result of accidentally messing in them. Either way, he
left a nice- looking and indelible stain in the center of the seat. I put on the
underwear, noting that it went on a lot more easily and quietly. I stuffed the
diaper and the plastic pants into my bag and zipped it up. Lastly I put my pants
back on and put the belt on around me. Without the diaper I never realized how
much larger the pants were. Even with the belt on, the pants barely stayed up. I
took a quick look at my rear end in the restroom mirror. The pants just hung
around my waist. They still looked ridiculously baggy around my legs, and now,
around my butt since there was no diaper filling in the extra space.
As I hurried back to class I realized how difficult it was to run with
loose-fitting pants and carrying a book bag. Everyone else was already seated
and staring at me as I came through the door. Now I was really embarrassed,
especially since I was never for late for class.
As I sat in class that morning, I realized that this plan was definitely
not going to work unless I could make some changes to it. As much as I hurried,
I still needed more time in the morning. It also felt weird not to have that
bulky, thick diaper beneath me. The pants were so loose that it hardly felt like
I was wearing them. I felt like I had nothing on at all. Another thing I
realized was that if I needed to go to the bathroom I would have to hold it
until I either got my diaper back on, or got to a toilet. A toilet! No! A diaper
wearer like me shouldn't even know what a toilet is! In case I really needed to
go and I didn't have my diaper on, I'd probably have to resort to using a
toilet.
Mrs. Buxley wrote more math problems on the board for the students to come
up and solve. Certainly I wouldn't be called to the board twice in one week! Or
would I? The pants looked just as silly on me without the diaper as they did
with it, perhaps even sillier, and the last thing I wanted was for Megan and
Tracy, or anybody for that matter, to see the seat of my pants sagging down so
far from my butt. There were eight problems. I anxiously sat through this
portion of the math lesson as seven students had already been called up to the
board. There on the far right side of the board was problem number eight, who
would get to go up to solve it?
"Let's see...!" Mrs. Buxley hesitated, scanning the room to select a
student. She finally announced the name of her chosen student: "Chris! Come do
number eight!" she called out.
Here I go again. I got up and walked past Megan and Tracy. "Look at his
pants!" I heard Tracy whisper to Megan, followed by the two of them giggling. As
these problems were longer and more difficult than the ones she had us do on
Monday, I spent more time at the board, thus prolonging the time the class got
for a glimpse at my pants. As I stood up there I could hear sporadic giggling
and muted laughter throughout the class. I returned to my seat and could see
several of the students throughout the room staring at me. I had drawn the
conclusion that this whole plan of changing into underwear was a very big
mistake.
The weather had cleared up and had warmed a little, too, but our recess
was still confined to the gym as the playground was still blanketed with snow.
My pants had drawn more attention in class by not wearing a diaper than when I
did. Some of the kids from my class came up to me and goaded me about my pants
and they way they were so big and baggy, not to mention their unstylish
qualities. "Don't you know what size of pants to wear?" remarked one of the
kids. The plan's very purpose was defeated.
On recess I told Tony what happened in class. He suggested I run into the
bathroom and change back into the diaper. Only five minutes had elapsed since
recess started, so I had time to change if I hurried. First I dashed into the
classroom to grab my bag. Mrs. Buxley, with her nose buried in a stack of
papers, looked up at me in a peculiar way as I swiftly walked past her, though
saying nothing. I headed straight to the bathroom. As luck would have it, Sean
and one of his gang members were there. Obviously I had no chance of getting
changed back into the diaper. The minute I made eye contact with Sean he said
"let's get him!" Immediately they charged towards me as I fled from the
restroom. I was running down the hall, disregarding the fact that my pants had
fallen down a ways from my waist. I ran back into the classroom to get away from
them.
Mrs. Buxley looked up at me and said "Chris, what is going on?"
"Sean is after me again!" I exclaimed.
Mrs. Buxley slammed her red pen down and got up out of her chair, yelling
at Sean and the other boy. "You boys stay right there! I've had it with you two!
I'm taking you both to the principal's office!" They started to run off but Mrs.
Buxley caught up with them and grabbed them each by their arms and angrily
dragged them off to see Mr. Jenkins, the principal. Never before had I seen the
teacher run so fast, in high-heeled shoes nonetheless! I stood there as I
enjoyed watching Sean get in trouble again. There wasn't enough time to return
to the restroom, so I decided to change back into the diaper at lunchtime. I set
my bag back down in the classroom and caught up with Tony.
"Did you change?" he asked me.
"No! That stupid Sean was in there and he threatened me again!"
"Really? Why is he always in there?"
"I don't know, but, get this! Mrs. Buxley got him and his friend in big
trouble!" I spent the rest of the recess relating what happened to Sean. "It was
great!" I concluded, both of us laughing. The bell rang and we returned to
class.
DIAPER DESIRES: PART 10
-----------------------
The time segment from the first recess to lunch seemed to drag on forever.
The reading and grammar lessons bored me to death! My biggest concerns were if I
would have to go to the bathroom again, and if Mrs. Buxley would even let me run
down to the restroom since I had to leave class twice this week already. Mrs.
Buxley was good about letting her students use the restroom during class, but
she also imposed limitations on this privilege, particularly for students who
were found to abuse the privilege. I was becoming one such student, though
unwillingly. Today it was especially critical that I be able to hold it since I
did not have the diaper on and Mrs. Buxley would probably revoke my bathroom
privileges if I had to make a run for the toilet stall.
Just like yesterday and the day before I needed to use the bathroom at
about this time, and today I really, really needed to use the bathroom because I
felt a case of diarrhea coming on! I could feel it churning around inside my
body, slowly building up its pressure and becoming increasingly more difficult
to hold back. I had to hold it in since I figured Mrs. Buxley wouldn't let me go
today. It was hard to keep the strained look off of my face, and even harder to
avoid squirming around in my seat, crossing my legs and keeping my butt cheeks
tightly closed together. If there was a time I needed to be wearing a diaper, it
was now, and I didn't have it on! What poor timing! Finally I had to ask Mrs.
Buxley, out loud, in the middle of her discussion, to be excused for the
restroom.
"No, Chris, you've abused your restroom privileges and I will not excuse
you anymore! And don't you ever interrupt my lesson without raising your hand
first!" she chided. The class started laughing.
"Please. Mrs. Buxley, I need to go now!" It was obvious that I was in a
state of extreme discomfort.
"Sorry, but three days in a row is too much! Now can we get on with the
lesson?" Mrs. Buxley had completely lost her patience with me. She rolled her
eyes before continuing the lesson.
It was 11:30, could I stand it for 45 more minutes? If I were wearing the
diaper I would have just let it out, and I wouldn't have even cared that it was
in the middle of class. I was in pain! I knew the diaper could handle a big mess
like the one that was trying to make its escape and I could probably go the rest
of the school day in such a dirty diaper.
It was just bad luck that I would get diarrhea on a day I didn't have my
diaper on and at such an inopportune time in class. All I could do was think
about how my diaper was there, in my bag, so close to me, but yet still out of
reach because of my teacher's refusal to excuse me. I couldn't even concentrate
on the lesson. Beads of sweat welled up on my face. Mrs. Buxley should have made
an exception and let me go; heartlessly, she wouldn't budge.
11:45, the pain and the pressure were too much. It was truly an accident
waiting to happen-- and it did happen-- I pooped in my pants in class-- without
a diaper! The only thing between my butt and my pants was not a nice, thick,
soft, absorbent diaper ready to catch a big rushing, gushing load, but only a
pair of underwear. Even two layers in the seat of it was not sufficient by any
means! Why was this the day I'd be caught with my diaper off? My plan had
ultimately failed miserably.
Everybody in class knew what happened. Many of them heard me let out a wet
fart when I released the watery, poopy mess. I felt its warmth pouring out
beneath me, filling up my crotch and running down my legs. The loose pants
allowed the poop to flow freely. Some of it trickled all the way down my legs,
where the tops of my socks absorbed some of the mess. The smell quickly spread
to the rest of the classroom.
Some of the kids were laughing, some were grossed out, some were even in
shock as this was quite a dramatic moment for a third grade classroom. I would
have thought Megan and Tracy would have laughed, but they were shocked by the
incident. I was crying and suffering from extreme embarrassment and humiliation!
Ironically, I was trying to avoid embarrassment by not wearing the diaper in
school and ended up needing it to avoid such embarrassment and then some.
Wearing a diaper no longer seemed nearly as embarrassing as messing one's pants
in school. Mrs. Buxley was very unsympathetic and didn't seem to feel she was
wrong about making me try to hold it until lunch.
"Why didn't you go at recess? Go get yourself cleaned up! You're a mess!"
she shouted. I resented the way she was more concerned about teaching the lesson
than my personal comfort. I got up from my seat and felt more of the mess drip
out of the underwear and down my legs. I didn't know what my pants looked like,
but I knew they were wet and stained brown. As the pants were made of a light
gray fabric, this helped to show the stain even more prominently. I planned to
call my mom to have her pick me up after getting myself cleaned off. I just
wanted to go home.
I walked through the room, knowing that everyone was looking at my pants
all soaked in diarrhea. I was still crying while dealing with such an abominable
turn of events. I grabbed my book bag, my lunch, and my coat and headed for the
bathroom. I went into "my" stall and took off the badly soiled pants. Before
looking at them, I prepared myself to see the worst, and I did. My diarrhea had
spread all the way across the seat of them. The legs had wet, brownish streaks
running down them. I set the pants aside while I cleaned myself up.
The underwear was wedgied into my butt. It was completely saturated and
dripping its contents onto the floor as I pulled it down. The smell intensified
as I exposed more of my mess to the open air. I was standing there completely
naked as I did this morning, but a lot messier. There was a full roll of toilet
paper, most of which I used to get my legs and my butt wiped off. I kept filling
the toilet with large wads of toilet paper and flushing it.
I was as clean as I was going to ever get for now. I reached into my bag
and grabbed the diaper I should have been wearing all along. I wrapped it around
me and fastened its closures. It felt so good to have it back on! It was ready
for any more accidents I might have later in the day. Next I slipped on the
plastic pants. I pulled them up as high as they could go, ensuring that they
were tightly in place. I used the rest of the toilet paper to wipe out what I
could of the mess in my pants before putting them back on. I looked down at the
floor and saw drops of diarrhea. I tried to wipe them up the best I could with
what remained of the toilet paper, but there were still incriminating streaks
spread across the tile squares. Lastly I put on the dirty pants, first pulling
the belt out of the loops and stuffing it into the bag. It was either wear the
soiled pants or walk down the school hallway in a diaper. As I left the stall I
picked up Tony's filthy briefs and stuffed them into the bottom of the garbage
can. Using wadded up paper towels that had been already disposed of, I covered
up the dirty underwear. They were too soiled to wash and I didn't want to stuff
them back into my bag, given their highly soiled condition.
I was now clean, at least clean enough to walk down the hallway to the
principal's office to call my mom so she could pick me up. I walked along the
wall with my back turned to it to minimize my exposure to others who may see me.
My coat could only cover so much of my butt, and it was my legs that I was more
concerned about others seeing. I walked into the office, hoping there would be
no other students in there waiting, in particular, Sean or one of his friends.
Given their behavior, the odds were most likely that it would be one of them
awaiting Mr. Jenkins' scolding and/or his paddle. Luckily, the only person in
the front office was the secretary.
"May I help you, young man?" asked the secretary.
"I need to call my mom!" I said. "I'm sick and I need to go home."
"Did your teacher excuse you from class?" she asked.
"Yes."
"Did she give you a note?"
"No. It was, uh, an emergency."
"Who is your teacher?"
"Mrs. Buxley."
"What is your name, sir?"
"Chris, Chris Barrett."
"One moment."
She wheeled her chair over to the intercom and paged my classroom.
"Mrs. Buxley?" About ten seconds passed before my teacher responded.
"Your student, Chris Barrett, is in the office. He says he's sick and he
wants to go home. May he be excused?"
Please let me go home, Mrs. Buxley! I've had enough today!
"Yes, I'll excuse him!" her voice crackled through the intercom system.
Yes! Thank you, Mrs. Buxley!
I stood before the secretary's desk waiting to use the phone. "Go ahead
and have a seat over there. I'll call your mom now." I wanted to call my mom
myself, but the school had its fixed set of policies and procedures on handling
such matters, one of which didn't allow students to call their parents
themselves.
Not wanting to expose my messy backside to the secretary, I backed up to
the row of plastic chairs and sat myself down. I felt the cold dampness of the
pants press up beneath my thighs.
"Your mother is on her way!" said the secretary.
"Did she say how long?" I asked.
"She didn't say, but it probably won't be very long."
I leaned back in the chair and spread my legs, unaware of what I was
doing, thus exposing my soiled pants. Just as the secretary started to return to
her work she saw the big dark spot in my pants.
"Oh, dear!" she exclaimed. "You are sick! Maybe you should go see the
nurse!" She was careful not to make any mention of what she actually saw. It
seemed as if she had been trained to handle such matters, as if this particular
incident occurred more frequently than I thought.
"I'm okay!" I replied.
"There's a lavatory just outside the door if you need it."
"It's too late now!" I thought. She may have thought I was going to puke
on the floor or poop in the chair. At least I had a diaper on for the latter.
The time I sat in the office seemed like an eternity. I heard the lunch
bell ring, followed by the racket of kids running and yelling as they headed for
the cafeteria. I looked at my lunch and the last thought that was on my mind was
eating it. I did feel somewhat queasy.
As I sat there, I hoped that nobody would get in trouble and get dragged
into the office. No such luck. Ten minutes into lunch one of the teachers on
lunch room duty dragged a girl, who looked like a fifth grader, into the office
and threw her into the chair next to me. I was sitting on the endmost chair
towards Mr. Jenkins' office and I couldn't move down away from the girl.
To avoid exposing my messed pants I turned myself towards the teary-eyed
girl. She was distraught from the way the teacher handled her and probably paid
me no attention, but still, I didn't need anyone else seeing what I did in my
pants.
At long last my mom showed up! Finally I was free to go! I bent over to
pick up my bag and my lunch, which I did without thinking that the girl probably
saw the seat of my pants as I was standing right on front of her. "Ewww! Sick!"
she exclaimed as I followed my mom out of the office.
We walked out the front door and to the car. I knew mom would soon
discover that my pants were soiled, but I tried to delay it as long as I could.
She'd probably figure out that I didn't have the diaper on, and I would get in
big trouble, as in a hard spanking.
Just as we pulled out of the lot I could smell the air in the car becoming
foul. I cracked my window for ventilation.
"Chris! What are you doing? It's fifteen degrees outside!" shouted my mom.
"Roll your window up now!"
So much for that idea. We were about a half mile from home when mom sensed
the odor in the car. She took a stronger whiff to confirm the suspected odor.
"Boy, something sure smells! You must have really messed in them! Is that
why you called me?"
"Uh, huh."
"You have your diaper on, don't you?"
"Yes!" I answered. She placed emphasis on the last two words of her
question. She also phrased it in the present tense, so I was not lying to her as
I was, at the present, wearing a diaper. We were stopped at a red light, giving
mom a chance to look down at the crotch in my pants.
"Chris! Your pants! How did they get that way?!"
"I just had a really bad accident!"
"It must have been a real doozy of an accident! You couldn't have possibly
made that big of a mess through that diaper!" Mom knew that something wasn't
right. That was strike one.
"Uh, they were on loose and they leaked." This was strike two.
"They were? How did they get loose? Your sisters do put them on you quite
tightly."
"They just kind of got loose as I walked around in them." Strike three.
She knew I was lying. She knew I was a lousy liar, too.
"You're lying, Chris! Those diapers don't come loose! I see you go around
in them all the time and they stay on tight! You took them off when you got to
school, didn't you?"
Now was the time to confess.
"Yes."
"Why? Why, Chris?"
"I couldn't wear them around the other kids!"
"You obviously don't understand how this diaper punishment works, Chris!
We told you to wear them at all times, INCLUDING SCHOOL! What did you do, go
around with nothing on under your pants?"
"No, mom."
"Well?"
I just sat there, ready to cry again. "What did you do, then? Talk to me!"
she demanded.
"I borrowed Tony's underwear and changed into it after I got to school. I
was going to change back before getting on the bus this afternoon. I'm sorry,
mom!" I totally broke down and started bawling.
"I was going to spank you when we got home, but I think you already
realize how serious we are about this." It was a relief not to get spanked as
I'm sure she was ready to really give it to me good.
"But that doesn't mean we won't find other ways to punish you!"
"What are you going to do?"
"You'll find out."
I wondered what she had in mind. Suddenly I once again felt some pleasure
in my diaper-wearing as I was away from the school, and back in the diaper.
Anything mom would do to take my "diaper punishment" further was quite alright
with me. I just couldn't figure out how just being afraid of others finding out
about my diapers in school completely changed the way I perceived wearing them.
I guess it's that I had always been afraid of the other kids. Most of them were
bigger and they played rough and tough in their games of football and other
sports in which I had no interest. That's why the idea of going to a private
school where everyone wore diapers sounded like a good idea. I thought of
suggesting it to my parents, but I knew they'd never send me there. Such schools
were intended for truly handicapped children with incontinence and other
disabilities. I wasn't "qualified" to attend such a school, so I'd have to make
do with dealing with wearing diapers in the public school.
It was about one o'clock when mom and I got home. The first thing she said
as we got in the door was "Now get those filthy pants off now!" Immediately I
stripped to my diaper, setting the pants on the floor. Mom immediately picked
them up.
"Don't set them on the floor!" she hollered, examining the pants more
closely.
"Look at these pants, Chris! They're ruined! I can't get these stains out
of them!"
"They were stupid-looking pants, anyway!" I commented.
"What?!" mom exclaimed. "Did you do this just so I'd buy you some better
pants?!"
"No, mom! I didn't! This was an accident! Really!"
"Yeah, and how many times have I heard THAT one before?"
"Mom, you gotta believe me! Do you think I'd actually poop my pants in
CLASS in front of other kids??? You think I'd just do that ON PURPOSE???"
"I don't know, Chris! Nothing surprises me with you!"
I started crying again. "The kids were all laughing at me! They all saw it
happen! I was so embarrassed!"
"Okay, okay, Chris, I believe you! it was an accident!" Mom actually
consoled me and realized that she was approaching this issue too incredulously.
This is not to say she was backing down, however.
"Since it was an accident, Chris, then that just gives us one more reason
to keep you in diapers! We never know if it's an accident or not with you
anymore, and there's no point arguing about it! It'll be a lot easier on
everyone to keep you in diapers! With diapers you can have all the accidents you
want, even if they're not really accidents, and nobody has to smell it or look
at it, except when your sisters change you, of course, and you don't have to be
embarrassed! I think you're a lot better off with your butt bulging out from a
diaper than to have messy pants in class. Certainly you agree, don't you,
Chris?"
"Yes."
"And this wouldn't have happened if you left your diaper on, right?"
"Yes." If I could have started this morning over, I would have left the
diaper on and I wouldn't have faced such humiliation. Everybody at school
probably found out about my in-class butt-spewing and now they probably expect
me to wear a diaper from now on. I felt that some good may have come out of this
tragic turn of events. It helped me to feel better about wearing the diapers in
class.
"Come on, let's get you changed.!" said mom.
I lay back down on the pad, and before mom even started, she saw that I
had only done, at best, a mediocre job of wiping off the streaks of diarrhea
runs down my legs. "Let's get you cleaned up first!" she exclaimed as she got
up. A moment later she returned with a wet, warm washcloth. She started by
rubbing the coarse fabric along my legs. Next she took the diaper off. "Whoo!
Your sisters are lucky they didn't have to change you this time!" Mom spent
extra time wiping me off. I was still so dirty she had to stop to get another
wet washcloth. Minutes later I was powdered and diapered. My stomach was still
weak and I was so tired. I took a nap hoping to feel better later on.
Diaper Desires, Parts 11-20