TWO AGAIN

Part One

	Timmy the main character age seven...
	The door to my room opened, momma came in to wake me not knowing 
I was already awake due to the cold wet PJ's and sheets.
	"Wake up honey, its Saturday."
	I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes as mom stood over me shaking 
her head.
	"You wet the bed again."
	"Ya-ya yes, mom, I am sorry."
	"Well, hon, it's not your fault, but it's the third time this 
week."
	"I know, mom. I just can't help it."
	"Well, honey, I think it's time we find out why this is 
happening."
	"What do you mean, mom?"
	"I think it's time for you to see the doctor, so I'll make you an 
appointment for Monday, okay honey?"
	"Okay, mom."
	"Go on now, get yourself cleaned up and I'll strip your bed."
	"Okay mom."
	The rest of the weekend went as it should for a seven year old 
little boy.
	"Wake up, honey, it's Monday, and remember, we're going to the 
doctor. Go get cleaned up and I'll take care of your bed."
	While on the way to the doctor mom was talking and telling me, 
"lots of boys your age wet the bed, so don't feel so down on yourself." 
I just kept looking out the car window.
	"Were here, hon," mom said as she held my hand. We walked in to 
the doctor's office. While checking in, not even aware of it, I wet 
myself. As mom looked down she asked, "Why didn't you tell me you had 
to go?"
	"Mom, I didn't."
	"You must have, you're wet."
	She then took me to the restroom to get my wet pants off, not 
thinking that I did not have another pair to put on. She took me back 
to the doctor's office and asked how long it would be, explaining why 
she wanted to hurry. The nurse looked at me and said, "Oh, I see, 
ma'am. I'll try to get you in next." While in the doctor's office mom 
took my wet pants and undies off and I was standing there in nothing 
but my T-shirt as the doctor came in. With a puzzled look on his face 
my mom said, "he had an accident in the waiting room."
	"Oh, I see. How long has he been having these wetting accidents?"
	"Well, mostly at night. This is the first time he's done it 
during the day."
	"Let's get him up on the table and we'll see what's going on."
	As I lay there and the doctor examined me he asked, "how long has 
he been bedwetting?"
	"Since he was potty trained," my mom said.
	"I'll have to do some more tests, but I think the best thing for 
now is to get Timmy some protection at night."
	As I sat there those words went through me like a shockwave. 
"'Protection?' What does he mean?"
	As he left the room I asked mom, "What does he mean, 
'protection?'"
	"Honey, you see..."
	Just then the nurse came in and in her hand was a diaper. I 
stared at mom and asked, "Whats that for?"
	"That is what the doctor meant by 'protection'."
	"But mom, I'm seven. I'm not a baby!"
	"Well, hon, you can't walk out of here naked."
	"But mom!"
	"Hon, you need to wear something," mom said. She then told me to 
lay down on the table. She lifted up my legs and slid the diaper under 
my butt. I started crying, saying, "Why, mommy, why?"
	She picked me up and held me in her arms like she did when I was 
a toddler. As I continued to cry we walked out to the waiting room to 
make another appointment. All I could do was cry and hide my face in 
mommy's shoulder. When we got to the car mom buckled me in and said, 
"let's go home, hon." Through my tears and sobs I said, "okay mommy."
	On the way home I noticed we were pulling in to a store parking 
lot. Shock went threw my small body.
	"Why are we stopping here?"
	"I just need to get a few things."
	"Do I have to go in?"
	"I can't leave you out here by yourself."
	"But mom, I don't have any clothes on!"
	"Yes you do, hon, you have your shirt and a diaper. Now come on."
	She unbuckled me, took my hand, picked me up and carried me into 
the store. As I was small for my age and only weighed about fifty 
pounds I guess she didn't think much of it. She grabbed a cart and sat 
me in the baby seat and on through the store we went. After getting the 
things for the house we turned down the baby section. My heart just 
sank as I held my head down. The cart then stopped. As I was looking 
out the corner of my eyes I could see mom had picked up a pack of 
Pampers size 6. As she held them in her arms she then grabbed baby 
powder, wipes and baby lotion. As I heard the items fall into the cart 
I started crying again, not noticing the other stuff she had placed in 
the cart. Still sobbing, we went to the checkout. As mommy was putting 
the stuff up at the register I just could not hold back the tears and 
sobs. The checkout lady said, that's a cute little boy you have, 
ma'am." She then handed my mom a sucker and then we went out to the 
car.
	"Not even realizing it, mom put the stuff in the back seat. She 
then picked me up out of the cart."
	"You're wet again, you're soaked! Good thing I got those 
diapers."
	She then told me to lie on the front seat. As she went to the 
back seat and opened the pack of diapers I just sat there crying, not 
wanting to believe this was happening to me.
	"I'm seven years old, I'm not a baby! I'm not a baby!"
	Just then mom put her hand on my shoulder and said, "lie down 
honey, I need to change you."
	"Not here, mom! Not out here where everyone can see!"
	"It doesn't matter, Timmy. You're soaking wet and you can't ride 
all the way home in that soggy diaper."
	With her hand on my shoulder she gently made me lie down. She 
undid the tapes of the diaper and lifted up my legs and then she slid 
the diaper from under me. She then proceeded to wipe my butt and front 
with the wipes she had bought. Just then another family was at their 
car next to ours. I heard someone say, "what a cute baby you have!" Mom 
just said "thanks" and continued to diaper me.
	"There, all done!" Once buckled in we were on our way home. While 
I was crying and sobbing my mom put the sucker the lady had given to 
her, up to my lips and said, "here maybe this will help." As I opened 
my mouth to suck on it she let go of it and I held on to it, crying and 
sucking it at the same time."
	"Here we are, Timmy- home!"
	By this time I had sucker spittle all over my face and shirt. Mom 
lifted me out of the car and stood me by the door as she got the bags 
out, then into the house we went. After putting things away she came to 
me and got down on her knee. In a babyish voice she said, "looks likes 
him all sticky-wicky!" She took my hand and led me to my room where sat 
me on the bed and pulled out a wipe and started to wipe my face off. I 
put up my hand and said, "I can clean myself, mommy!"
	She then paused, looking at me, and said, "you've called me 
'mommy' several times today; usually its just 'mom'."
	Not knowing what to say, I just said, "I'm sorry, mom."
	"It's ok honey, if you want to call me 'mommy'. I just thought 
'mom' will do."
	"If you don't mind," I said to myself.
	"Well, Timmy, it's getting late, so how about some dinner?"
	"Yeah, sure mom. Can I take this diaper off now?"
	"Maybe you should leave it on, just in case."
	"But mom, we're at home."
	"Just leave it on until your bath time."
	Feeling dejected, I said, "okay mommy."
	After dinner we watched some TV and then came bath time. As I got 
up off the couch I could feel the diaper sag. Mom said, "See? Good 
thing you left it on. Now go upstairs and take your bath. I'll be up 
shortly."
	After getting out of the tub and drying off mom stepped into the 
bathroom and said, "All done?"
	"Yeah, mommy." She took the towel and hung it up. She then picked 
me up and carried me to my room. As she sat me on my bed I asked, "What 
did you carry me for?"
	"I thought you liked it."
	"Well, mom, I am seven and I can walk," I said to myself, but to 
her out came the words, "okay, mommy." She then got out a diaper, 
lotion and the powder and said, "now lie down, honey, while I get this 
diaper on you for the night."
	Again I was telling myself, "I'm seven! I'm seven! I don't need 
diapers!" My thoughts were interrupted when mom grabbed my ankles, 
lifted up my legs and slid the diaper under me. As she applied the 
lotion and the powder my thoughts raced back to just what seemed a few 
short years ago, and I started to get those feelings of when I was a 
toddler. Not knowing it, I stuck my thumb in my mouth.
	Suddenly mom was saying, "All done?" and pulling at my hand. As 
my eyes met mom's she said, "here, use this. It's better for you than 
your thumb." There in front of me was a pacifier. I just grabbed it and 
stuck it in. A feeling of peace and a sense of warmth and love just 
fell over me that had not been there for a while. Mommy pulled down the 
covers and I slid in as she tucked me in and kissed me on the forehead. 
As she left the room and turned out the light. I said, "I wove you, 
mommy" and rolled over and fell sound asleep.

Part Two

	As the light gleamed through my bedroom window I was waking up 
thinking that the events of the other day was all a dream. As I started 
to get out of bed I noticed that my PJs were dry. Then, the thickness 
of the diaper hit me, it was not a dream. As I stood up I pulled down 
my PJs and could see the yellow wet stain in the diaper. As I fell back 
on the bed and started to cry I was thinking, what was going on? Why 
me? Mom came in to the room.
	"I see you're up. I heard you crying," she said as she came over 
to the bed and sat next to me. All I could do was lie there with my 
hands over my eyes, crying, "Why me, mommy? What's wrong with me?"
	"Oh honey, you're not the only little boy who wets the bed," she 
said as she started undoing the tapes on the diaper. Just like a 
natural reaction, my legs spread apart. As she cleaned my bottom off 
she said, "you'll out grow it, it's just a part of life."
	As she stood me up she said, "today is Sunday. Do you still want 
to go to the park and play?" While she walked to the closet I walked 
over to my chest of drawers to get a pair of undies. As I looked in the 
drawer where they should have been there laid a pack of Pampers size 6. 
I turned around to ask, "Where's my underwear?" Mom told me not to 
worry, she would take care of everything. Again I asked, "Where's my 
underwear? Where?"
	"Honey, don't you remember what the doctor said? You need 
protection."
	"Yeah, mommy, but that's just at bedtime, not during the day."
	"Well honey, remember, you wet your pants at the doctor's office 
yesterday and you were wet this morning."
	"I...I..."
	"Do you want to go and play at the park today?"
	"Yeah."
	"Well, let's get you dressed."
	She led me back over to the bed and said, "Now lie down."
	"No!"
	"Honey, I can't diaper you standing."
	"No!"
	With diaper in hand she again said to lie down.
	"No, mom, I want my big boy pants! I'm not a little baby!"
	"Tell you what, if you want to go out and play you'll have to 
wear this. If not, then we'll just stay home and I'll let you wear your 
underwear but no pants just in case you have an accident, okay?"
	"No, mommy, I want to go!"
	"Timmy, we've been through this, what do you want?"
	"Okay, okay," I said as I threw myself on to the bed. Mom started 
putting diaper rash cream on, then up went my legs.
	"Honey, you'll have pants on. No one will see the diaper."
	I thought to myself, "no, but I'll know, seven and in diapers."
	As the tapes went on mom said, "you've called me mommy again. If 
you want you can call me that all the time."
	She pulled me onto her lap and hugged me and said, "now lets get 
some breakfast."
	For some reason I felt the warmth of her love and as she stood 
with one arm around my back and the other under my butt I just didn't 
want to let go. She put me down and we went into the kitchen. I sat in 
the chair and I saw something I had not seen for years: my old sippy 
cup and Tony the Tiger cereal bowl and spoon. A flood of memories came 
rushing back as she poured the cereal and the milk. I just sat there 
staring at it as she poured some juice into the sippy cup.
	"Eat, honey, so we can go."
	I just sat there staring at the whole thing, thinking toddler- 
this stuff is for toddlers as my thoughts were interrupted by a spoon 
full of cereal at my lips. Mommy was trying to feed me. As the spoon 
went into my mouth I grabbed it and said through a mouthful, "I can 
feed myself."
	"I know, honey, just looked like you were wanting me to help 
you."
	"No mommy, I can, I can." Just like a baby, I can't believe I 
just talked like that. What's happening to me?
	After breakfast I ran to the front door ready to go as mom stood 
there laughing.
	"Let's go, lets go, mommy."
	"So, you don't mind being in just a diaper and shirt?"
	Embarrassment overcame my small frame. "Oh yeah, pants."
	"Good idea. You wait here and I'll go get your pants and shoes."
	"Okay, mommy."
	"Okay honey, lie down and let's get you ready."
	Not knowing that I had wet myself, but she had known, she lay me 
down, changed my diaper and put my pants and shoes on. She zipped up 
the pants and she tickled my tummy and made me giggle like she had done 
years before.

Part Three

	Timmy and his mom arrived at the park. As Timmy's eyes filled 
with excitement at the rides and all the animals, he was trying his 
best to undo the seatbelt. As his mom got out and walked over to open 
his door, Timmy threw his arms up saying, "Mommy! Mommy!" Without 
thinking, she bent over to pick him up. He quickly climbed into his 
mother's arms. He started saying, "Ride, mommy! Me ride, mommy!" but 
after a few moments in her arms she noticed that his pants were wet, as 
she whispered into his ear, "honey, you're soaked and your diaper has 
leaked. I'll need to change you before we can even get the tickets for 
the rides."
	As she grabbed for Timmy's backpack that she had packed with 
extra diapers and lunch, she closed the car door and started looking 
for the restrooms. As she spotted them Timmy had somehow broken loose 
and started running towards the rides. Jennie gave chase, lucky for her 
Timmy tripped and was crawling. This allowed Jennie to catch Timmy 
before he had gone to far, grabbing him by the arm to hold on. He fell 
over on his back and started crying, sobbing "Ride, mommy! Ride!"
	"I know, honey, but we need to get tickets first, and get you 
changed." She then led Timmy by the hand heading to the restrooms. She 
noticed that the ticket counter line was filling up with other people 
and she knew that the line would soon fill up, so she headed Timmy over 
to the picnic tables. She sat Timmy on the bench and pulled out a 
diaper, saying, "lay down, honey so I can change you and get those wet 
pants off."
	Timmy had not noticed that his mom had even brought his backpack. 
He started saying, "No, mommy! Not here! I am not a baby, Mom!" She 
would hear nothing of it and gently pushed him on to his back. As she 
undid his pants and shoes she pulled them off. Timmy started crying 
with his hands over his face, then his mom undid the diaper and exposed 
his little pee-pee. The suddenness of the cool air hit Timmy and 
without warning his little pee-pee started flowing little streams of 
pee. As she sat back, as not to get peed on, his mom said to herself, 
"good thing I brought extra diapers." While cleaning Timmy up he had 
placed his thumb into his mouth to calm himself as to him it seemed 
like the most natural thing to do.
	"There, all done." As Jennie pulled Timmy up to a standing 
position, still sucking his thumb, Timmy asked through his sucks, 
"Pants, mommy!"
	"Oh, no, honey they're wet and I can't put wet pants back on 
you."
	Now standing there in just a diaper and his T-shirt, Timmy's mom 
reached into the backpack and pulled out the pacifier. As she pulled 
out his thumb she popped it right in. Timmy continued right on sucking 
it and crying, "Home, mommy! I wanna go home!"
	"But honey, we're here at the park and I know how much you wanted 
to come."
	"No mommy, No! Wanna go home!"
	So as Jennie gathered things up she picked Timmy up in her arms 
and headed to the parking lot. Before getting there she asked Timmy 
again, "Do you want to stay and ride and see the animals, honey?"
	With his arms around her neck Timmy leaned back. With tears still 
running down his cheeks, he sheepishly asked mommy, "Am I your wittle 
baby?"
	"Oh, honey, you've always been my little baby." With that, Timmy 
said, "Me stay, mommy! Me stay!" and snuggled closer to mommy, feeling 
more like he did not so long ago. As he felt the touch and the love of 
his mommy's arms, in his thoughts he knew he was a baby and needed his 
mommy. With this thought they went on about the day. Timmy knew he had 
found where he needed to be.

Part Four- Timmy Goes Back to the Doctor

	As Jennie carried Timmy to the car, after a long day at the park 
he was half asleep. When they got to the car Jennie opened the 
passenger door to buckle Timmy in. She noticed that he had wet his 
diaper but had said nothing to her. She laid him down on the seat and 
changed him into a clean diaper for the ride home. She said to herself, 
"boy you must be tired, you didn't hardly move while I changed you." 
She buckled him in and off they went.
	While at a stoplight Jennie looked over at her son who was fast 
asleep sucking his thumb. She thought to herself why Timmy was being 
this way. Sas it because his father was no longer there for him or just 
what? She thought that maybe she would get some answers tomorrow at the 
doctor's office. She did not think of how since the accident that took 
her husband and Timmy's father was affecting her. All she could think 
about was the well-being of her son Timmy.
	When they got home she carried Timmy into the house and laid him 
down on the couch. She watched as Timmy turned over onto his stomach 
and drew his legs under his stomach like he used to do when he was a 
baby. She wished she could have all the answers for him but she knew 
the best thing for now was just take care of Timmy. As Timmy slept 
Jennie started getting things set for the doctor's visit the next day. 
She went through her closet and found an old tote bag. She thought to 
herself, "this will do for a diaper bag for now." She went to Timmy's 
room and got three diapers out of what was left of the bag and put them 
in the bag along with a change of clothes. She then found her purse and 
retrieved the pacifier. "Only three diapers left," she said to herself. 
"We'll need to stop by the store tomorrow after we get done at the 
doctors and buy some more maybe some extra things as well."
	After eating her supper Timmy woke up and started crying. As 
Jennie went into the living room. Timmy was sitting up crying. As 
motherly instinct took over she went over to him and picked him up, 
patting his back, asking, "What's wrong, honey? Mommy's here."
	Through his cries Timmy was asking for his daddy. She could not 
hold it back any longer. She, too, started to cry, but soon came out of 
it and got Timmy to calm down. She then asked if he was hungry as she 
had saved some supper for him. He said, "no, mommy, me not hungry,"0 in 
kind of a baby talk, so she took him to his room and laid him down on 
the bed to change him.
	As he had wet and pooped in his diaper while asleep she cleaned 
Timmy up. She said to herself, "this is the third time you have 
pooped." The wetting she understood, but why was he now pooping without 
saying anything to her? As she put a clean diaper on him Timmy was 
staring at his mommy with a half grin on his face. He started  kicking 
his legs and giggling at his mommy, so she started to tickle his tummy. 
As he continued to move around this made it a bit hard for Jennie to 
diaper him but she knew he needed the attention, so she played along. 
Finally she got the diaper on him and she continued to play around with 
Timmy like she did when he was a toddler.
	Later that evening it was time for Timmy to get a bath and get 
ready for bed. After Timmy's bath and clean diaper she took him to bed 
and tucked him in, kissing him good night. After a couple of hours more 
she to went to bed thinking of what the doctor might be able to tell 
her about her son's condition and why he was regressing like he is. 
Soon she drifted off to sleep herself.
	As the alarm clock went off she got up and took her a shower 
after checking in on Timmy, still sound asleep. After her shower and 
getting dressed she had a cup of coffee. "My, look at the time," she 
said. "Gotta go get Timmy up for the day." so into Timmy's room she 
went.
	"Wake up, honey, wake up. It's time to get up," she said as she 
rubbed his tummy. Timmy drew his legs up to the infant pose and started 
to giggle. "Okay, honey, it's time to get you ready for the doctor 
visit today." She pulled his PJ's down to change his diaper that was 
soaked. After putting a clean one on she asked Timmy, "What do you want 
to wear today, Timmy?" Timmy waddled over to his dresser and picked out 
his Ninja Turtle shirt and a blue pair of shorts and socks. He waddled 
back over to his bed and started trying to put his shirt on. Jennie 
could see he was having some trouble, so she helped getting Timmy 
dressed.
	"Thanks mommy. Breakfast, mommy, what's for breakfast>"
	"Well, Timmy, I thought we'd stop and get something to eat on the 
way to the doctor's office."
	"Okay mommy," Timmy said. As Timmy played around some Jennie had 
another cup of coffee. She looked at the clock and said to herself, 
"time to go." She grabbed the diaper bag, or the old tote bag. She 
scooped up Timmy in her arms and said, "time to go, hon."
	So off they went. After stopping for something to eat they were 
at the doctor's office. After checking in she started to go set down, 
but Timmy ran over to the toddler play area and started playing with 
the toys. Jennie sat down in that section of the waiting room. Not long 
after she sat down she heard "Timmy Brown, Timmy Brown." As Jennie went 
over to Timmy he did not want to go. He wanted to continue to play so 
she bent over and picked Timmy up to go back. Timmy held onto a toy he 
was playing with as Jennie tried to get him to let go of it. The nurse 
said, "it's okay, he can bring it back."
	So back they went to the examination room where the nurse told 
Timmy to undress down to his underwear. As Timmy was still playing with 
his toy he paid no attention, but Jennie said, "Okay, I'll get him 
ready." As the nurse left the room Jennie told Timmy she had to undress 
him, so she hoisted him up to the exam table and got him to lay back as 
she took off his shoes and shorts, then his shirt. He was still playing 
with the toy now in just his diaper. The nurse and the doctor came into 
the room the nurse looked a bit surprised to see Timmy in a diaper, but 
the doctor said, "still having those accidents I see. Well, how we 
doing, Mrs. Brown?"
	"Okay," Jennie said as she placed Timmy back up on the table and 
took the toy away. Timmy got a bit upset at this.
	"Now, Timmy, the doc needs to take a look at you for a moment," 
Jenny said as the doc looked Timmy over�temperature ,blood pressure, 
etc. Jennie asked the doctor if he could tell her why Timmy was having 
these wetting accidents and also told him that he had started pooping 
his diaper, also. The doctor told Timmy he needed to get some X-rays 
done and an MRI. He asked Timmy if he would go with the nurse and let 
her get some pictures taken of his tummy. Timmy looked over at his 
mommy saying mommy and said, "okay, mommy?"
	"Yes, honey, it's okay go with the nurse. I'll be here when you 
get back."
	The nurse took Timmy be the hand and handed him the toy back they 
left the room, the doctor said, "Mrs. Brown?"
	"No, doctor, you can call me Jennie."
	"Jennie, if what I'm thinking is true, I'll know by the X-rays 
and the MRI results if it is, I think that Timmy's bladder has not 
caught up with Timmy growth and is still as small as that of a 
toddler's and therefore he can't hold it as long as most kids his age, 
not to say that there are some kids even older than Timmy that also 
have this problem as well. As far as the pooping accidents, you said 
that Timmy seems to be regressing, and to tell you from what I've seen 
today, I would tend to believe you. I could refer you to see another 
doctor that deals with this type of behavior.
	Jennie eyes welled up with tears as she told the doctor that her 
husband was killed in an auto accident four month ago and that she 
thought that this might be some of the reason that Timmy was behaving 
like he is.
	I think you might be right, Mrs. Brown. I'm sorry to hear that 
you lost your husband. Just then Timmy ran into the room over to his 
mommy's lap and climbed up into her arms as the nurse said, "I think he 
wet ma'am." Jennie looked down at Timmy's diaper. "Sure enough, soaked 
again," she thought as the doctor put the x-rays up and the RMI film up 
to look at them. He said, "just as I thought. See, Mrs. Brown, you can 
see Timmy's bladder is quite small for his age and it seems from these 
MRI films that there is some concern. I see that the nerves that 
control the bladder have not quite developed like they should. I think 
this is why Timmy is having the wetting problem, and in my best opinion 
I think Timmy will always have this problem without having surgery to 
correct it."
	"Okay, Doctor, but what about the pooping and his regression?"
	"Well, Mrs. Brown, you said he lost his father just four months 
ago. I think that Timmy is regressing. This is a way of dealing with 
the loss of not having his dad around, and as I said I can refer you to 
another doctor I know who deals with this. As for now with the wetting, 
I can only recommend the operation that might help. It's not 100% 
guaranteed that it will work, but it is at least worth a try if you 
want to try it. But I would recommend that you keep Timmy in diapers 
for now unless you want to deal with wet sheets and clothes for a long 
time, or until you make a decision about the operation. And yes, I know 
that this might also be playing a role in his regressing, but I think 
that for now it's just best that you go along and not try to, well, 
let's say, snap him out of it. That might do more harm than good. Now 
here's the name and number of the doctor that I am referring you to for 
the regression. You can get Timmy changed and I'll set you up another 
appointment in four months. It will be at the checkout desk on the way 
out."
	"Okay, thanks, Doctor," Jennie said as he and the nurse left the 
room. Jennie started to cry as she was changing Timmy's diaper thinking 
of what the doc had just told her about her son and the part about her 
husband. After getting Timmy re-dressed they walked out to the checkout 
desk, paid for the visit and got the appointment for the next time and 
left the office. On the way home Jennie stopped by the store to shop 
for some more diapers and other things. This time Timmy was eager to go 
in with his mommy to look at things, hoping that she would buy him some 
toys. As they shopped Jennie picked up two large pack of Pampers size 6 
as Timmy was still small enough for them to fit good. Then she got a 
real diaper bag, some bottles, some cloth diapers and rubber pants, 
then over to the clothes she tried to pick out the things that looked 
more like toddler clothes that would fit. She even picked out a car 
seat that would fit Timmy's size so he could stay upright when he fell 
asleep in the car. After buying all the things needed to take care of 
her baby she said to herself, "Oh man, now I'm thinking as though Timmy 
is a baby. Well, the doctor said it was best for now that I do."
	She had someone from the store help her carry all of it out to 
the car. She placed the car seat up front on the passenger side and 
placed Timmy in it. She buckled him in and handed him a toy to play 
with. On the way home she thought that it did not seem to faze Timmy 
that he was in a car seat at all. He seemed to think nothing of it, 
sucking on pacifier and playing with his toys. Jennie drove home, at 
last. She got Timmy out of the car and into the house she took Timmy to 
his room. She changed his diaper and let him play while she unloaded 
the car. She then placed all the things they had bought in Timmy's 
room. She looked at Timmy, thinking of what he must be going through 
and that whatever it took to help him get through it she would do 
without question. She picked Timmy up, holding him like she did when he 
was a toddler, thinking to herself that it felt good to be able to have 
a son, a baby to take care of again, not knowing that down the line 
that this would also help her with her grief as well. Then it hit her-- 
what about school? Timmy was to start the first grade in two months. 
What was she going to do about that, she thought as Timmy held onto his 
mommy cooing at her touch.

Part Five

As the evening wore on Jennie started putting up all the things that 
she had bought earlier when she was in Timmy's room, and as Timmy 
played Jennie started putting the things in place that she would need 
to take care of Timmy's needs. Finally done, Jennie looked down at 
Timmy playing on the floor. Timmy noticed his mom looking at him and 
stopped playing with his toy and held up his arms wanting to be picked 
up, so Jennie went over and picked up Timmy and sat down on the bed 
holding Timmy. She asked Timmy if he was ready for some supper, Timmy 
piped up, saying, "eat, mommy, me eat."
	As Jennie held her son she noticed he was wet and decided to 
change his diaper before getting supper ready. As she changed his 
diaper she thought to herself how to handle her son's current state of 
regression and remembered what the doctor had said, that it would be 
best to just go along with it for now. so she made up her mind. She 
said, "all done, honey."
	She placed Timmy on the floor. She stood up and started out of 
the room. She noticed that Timmy, instead of walking out of the room 
with her, had gotten down to a crawling position and was crawling out 
of the room behind his mommy. At the supper table Jennie noticed how 
Timmy was eating and how much of a mess he was making, so she scooted 
her chair closer to Timmy and started helping Timmy put the food in his 
mouth. Timmy did not object to this at all, as Jennie thought to 
herself, "well, I guess for now I'll just feed you like a baby."
	During supper Jennie told Timmy that she was going to ask a 
friend over that had a son also, and if he minded. Timmy did not say 
anything to this, so after cleaning Timmy off and doing this dishes, 
Jennie got on the phone and called her friend.
	"Sure, hon, I'll be glad to come over."
	"What time?"
	"Now would be good," Jennie said. After she tried to explained to 
her friend what was going on with Timmy she told her friend she thought 
it would be good for Timmy to have someone to play with and she needed 
someone to talk with also.
	"Sure, I'll be right over."
	Jennie got off the phone and went into the living room where 
Timmy was playing. She said, "my friend is coming over, honey, and she 
is bringing her son over to play with you, is that okay, honey?"
	Timmy got a deep look on his face and just said, "okay, mommy, I 
play, I play."
	While watching some TV the doorbell rang and this startled Timmy 
and he crawled behind the chair while he watched his mommy opened the 
door and let her friend in. The first thing Timmy noticed was this 
other lady was carrying her son. He waited until they were in and she 
placed her son down on the floor. Timmy kept peering out from behind 
the chair, looking at this kid with the pacifier in his mouth, as he 
just sat there.
	"How are you doing, hon?" the lady asked his mom as Timmy just 
looked on.
	"Well, we're doing okay as far as things go."
	Just then Timmy crawled out from behind the chair stood up and 
ran over to his mommy and hid behind her leg while holding on to her.
	"Is this Timmy?" the lady standing there asked. "Hi, little 
fella. This is Brandon. This is my little boy," she said as she bent 
down to pick her son up.
	"Would you like to play while me and your mommy talk for a 
while?"
	"It's okay, Timmy," Jennie said while pulling Timmy out from 
behind her. She was thinking that maybe this would put Timmy at ease. 
As she placed Timmy in front of her the other lady sat Brandon down in 
front of Timmy so that the two boys could get to know each other."
	"Deb, I sure am glad you came. Let's let these two get to know 
each other while you and I have some coffee and just talk a while."
	Timmy got down on all fours and crawled over to Brandon to play. 
As Brandon sat there sucking his thumb Timmy offered up the toy he had 
in his hand. Brandon reached out to take it. Jennie said, "well now, 
looks like these two will get along just fine. How about we take them 
to Timmy's room while we sit and talk."
	"Okay," Deb said as she picked up Brandon to take him to Timmy's 
room. Right away the two boys took to playing with the many toys Timmy 
had on the floor in his room. The two ladies stood there in the doorway 
looking on and they looked at each other. Jennie said, "let's go and 
get some coffee. I'm sure they'll be alright."
	"Okay," Deb said as they walked out of the room. While in the 
living room Jennie explained to Deb what the doctors had told her about 
Timmy's behavior and about his medical condition, and that she had 
called her to come over with her son, and how she thought that it would 
be good for Timmy to have a friend to play with, someone that would not 
think it strange of her son being seven and in diapers and being the 
way he was.
	Deb said, "hon, I think that you are doing the right thing with 
Timmy. It must be hard for both of you, what with Bill not being around 
now. If there's anything I can do to help, please feel free to ask."
	As the evening went on it came time for Deb and Brandon to leave. 
The two went back to Timmy's room to find the two boys still playing 
with the toys. As Deb picked up Brandon Timmy started saying, "go 
mommy, go, me play, me play!"
	"It's time for Brandon to go, honey," Jennie said as she picked 
up Timmy to comfort him. She knew Timmy wanted to keep playing with his 
new friend.
	"I'll see you tomorrow," Deb said as the two carried the two boys 
to the door.
	"Bye, Brandon," Timmy said as Jennie was holding him.
	"Bye-bye," Brandon said as Jennie closed the door. Timmy hugged 
his mommy's neck, saying, "Come back! Come back!"
	"Yes, honey, they will come back. You like playing with Brandon, 
honey?"
	"Yes, mommy, me like play, me like."
	"Good, hon, now it's time to get you ready for bed, but first 
your bath."
	"Okay, mommy, okay."
	As Jennie carried Timmy back to his room to get him ready for his 
bath she smelled the fact that Timmy had just pooped his diaper. While 
cleaning him off Timmy started to giggle and move around a lot in 
anticipation of his bath, as he knew this was also playtime with his 
mommy. After his bath and a fresh diaper Jennie laid Timmy on the couch 
to get his new jammies on him and a new sleeper. Timmy looked so cute, 
Jennie thought to herself.
	After getting Timmy in his jammies she told him to stay right 
there, as she had something else for him. She walked into the kitchen 
and got a bottle and warmed it up. Holding it behind her, she walked 
back to the living room where Timmy was still on the couch. She sat 
down and picked up Timmy and held him in her lap like she had done 
years ago. As Timmy was looking up at his mommy Jennie placed the 
bottle up to Timmy's lips to see how he would react. Timmy opened his 
mouth as Jennie slipped the nipple in. Timmy began to suck on the 
bottle slowly while Jennie rocked Timmy. Soon, the bottle was empty and 
Timmy was sound asleep. Jennie gently carried Timmy to his bed and gave 
him his pacifier and watched as Timmy drooled over on his stomach and 
drew his legs up under his body like he did when he was a baby. Jennie 
placed the covers over him, kissed him on the head, turned on the night 
light and left to go to her room for the evening. While drifting off to 
sleep herself, she could not stop thinking how good it was to have 
someone to talk with this evening and how well Timmy took to playing 
with Brandon, knowing that Brandon was still a toddler and Timmy was, 
well, a toddler, too, for now.
	"Maybe things will work out in the long run," Jennie thought as 
off to sleep she drifted.

Part Six

	As the new day broke Jennie got up to make her a cup of coffee. 
While at the table drinking her coffee she heard a faint cry like a 
baby crying. "No," she thought to herself. Then the cry got louder and 
then she realized it was Timmy. She put down her coffee cup and went 
upstairs to Timmy's room to find him sitting up in bed sucking his 
thumb and crying. As she went over to her son she sat on the edge of 
the bed, pulling him close to her.
	"What's wrong honey? What's wrong?" As Timmy placed his arms 
around his mommy's neck she could tell right away his diaper had leaked 
out onto his sleeper and he was cold. "Oh, honey, it's okay, let's get 
you out of those wet clothes."
	As she placed him on the changing table, Timmy continued sucking 
his thumb while Jennie undid his sleeper to reveal a very wet diaper. 
As she undid the tapes of the diaper and pulled down the front of the 
diaper she told Timmy that tonight she would use the cloth diaper and 
rubber pants and that this should not leak on him. She also noticed 
that his little pee pee was standing straight up.
	"My my, you must be cold," she said as she started to wipe his 
diaper area off. Timmy giggled when she was cleaning the front of his 
diaper area, saying, "that tickles, mommy, that tickles."
	Jennie did not know what to think at first. Then it hit her, 
after all, Timmy was seven and things like this happen to little boys 
his age, even though he was as a toddler in his mind, his body was 
still growing. So, as she oiled and powdered him and put a clean diaper 
on she could not help but notice that he still had a little stiffie in 
the front of his diaper. As she placed a T-shirt on him she picked him 
up and carried him downstairs for some breakfast. As she fed him a jar 
of baby food he did not seem to mind at all that it was baby food. He 
ate it all down, then Jennie gave him a bottle of juice and told him to 
go play in the living room while she cleaned up. As Timmy toddled off 
to the living room Jennie thought how nice it was to be able to have 
her baby back and of all the wonderful things that they could do 
together. But, she also thought that someday he might come out of being 
like this and go back to being her seven year old son instead of her 
baby. Then she started thinking of how she could keep her little baby 
forever. After cleaning up, Jennie went into the living room to find 
Timmy lying on the floor happily drinking his bottle with his feet up 
in the air and the smell hit her.
	"Did Timmy go poo poo in him diapie?" she said. As she went to 
get the changing pad and a new diaper Timmy started to crawl around. As 
he got to the couch and started to climb up on it some of his diaper 
contents leaked out on to the couch. Just then, Jennie came back into 
the room.
	"Oh, honey ,you did make a big poo poo! Let's get you changed and 
clean up this mess," she said, as she was cleaning Timmy off. She 
asked, "Do you want to be mommy's baby, really, want to be mommy's 
baby?"
	"Me baby, me baby, mommy's baby," he said. As she placed a clean 
diaper under Timmy's bottom she tickled his tummy and said, "you can be 
mommy's baby as long as you want." She then taped the diaper in place 
and stood Timmy up and patted his butt.
	"Now go play while I clean off the couch," she said while 
cleaning the couch, and watching Timmy play she thought of how she 
would be able to keep her little baby boy forever. The wheels of 
thought were now in motion and soon she would have a plan that would 
allow her to keep Timmy her baby boy forever...

Part Seven

	The following morning Jennie was up early. After a few cups of 
coffee she noticed that she had not heard a sound out of Timmy as yet, 
so she went up to his room to find her son still sleeping with his 
pacifier still getting a workout. Instead of waking him up she went 
over to the rocking chair and sat back to take it all in. There lay her 
son who now did not have his daddy now and as she sat she thought what 
to do. School was going to start soon and Timmy was to be in the first 
grade but she knew that the way things were at this point there was no 
way he was even closer to wanting to go to school.
	As Timmy started to squirm around Jennie went to get a bottle of 
milk. When she returned to Timmy's room he was just lying there looking 
around his crib. Jennie went over to pick Timmy up and went over to the 
chair. With Timmy resting in her lap she placed the warm bottle to his 
lip and he began to suck. Rocking back and forth humming to herself she 
was thinking of her plan to keep things the way they were as long as 
she could. As she knew that this is what she wanted or needed right now 
giving all her love and attention to Timmy was the most important thing 
to her right now. After Timmy finished the bottle while still holding 
him. Jennie sort of picked him up to her shoulder and tried to burp 
him. To her surprise, he did burp but also she noticed a lump starting 
to form in the seat of his sleeper. Timmy started to cry softly.
	"It's okay, hon. Mommy will change you." As she carried him over 
to the bed she removed his sleeper and undid the diaper to reveal a 
soaked and messy diaper. While getting Timmy cleaned off, Timmy 
continued to suck on his pacifier, looking all around like everything 
was normal in his world. As Jennie was cleaning off his pee pee she 
noticed it started to stand up. As Timmy was getting an erection yet he 
was paying no mind to the fact. Jennie knew that this was a part of a 
young boy growing up. She wondered how to put an end to this and to his 
body as a whole from continuing to grow. She new someday he would be 
too big for her to carry or put in a car seat or feed him bottles of 
milk. She also knew that one day something other than pee pee would be 
coming out of his little penis.
	As she placed a new diaper on and a onesie she let him down off 
the bed. And they both headed downstairs to watch TV, or in Timmy's 
case, to play with his toys that were right where he had left them. 
Jennie decided to call Connie while Timmy played. She asked Connie if 
she could bring Tommy over to play with Timmy and baby sit while she 
ran and did some shopping. After Connie arrived Tommy and Timmy went 
off to playing. While in the living room Jennie explained the feelings 
that she was having about Timmy and wanting to keep him little. That 
since Robert had passed away Timmy has regressed and seems to depend on 
her for everything. In essense, he has regressed to being between a 
baby and a toddler and that this was helping her not to grieve so much 
on not having Robert around, although she still misses him so deeply. 
Timmy, being like he is, has helped in her being able to cope with her. 
Their loss. The doctors said, "he will out grow it someday and he will 
get over his grief and life will go on."
	"But Connie, I just want to have my baby to depend on me and love 
me so that I can give the attention and love he needs right now."
	The doctors said, "for right now,  go along with Timmy's 
behavior."
	"I just thought I would do it all the way. That's why I would 
like for you to stay and look after Timmy while I go shopping. So I can 
re do his room back to when he was a baby a crib changing table the 
works."
	"Sure, hon. You go ahead. I make sure these two have fun while 
you're out. I have a few things at home that I'll bring over later that 
will fit right in. As Jennie walked out the door Timmy was too busy to 
notice that his mommy had left. As Jennie got into her car and headed 
off she thought where would be the best place to go to get the things 
she wanted. Of course a baby store, she thought, but where to get a 
crib for an eight year old.

Part Eight

	As Jennie entered the store a lot of things went through her 
mind. She went right to the baby section, where she retrieved some more 
bottles powder and other things. She then looked around the place to 
see if she could find a clerk that worked this section. As she found 
the lady that was stocking the diaper shelf, Jennie stopped and asked 
the lady if she knew where she might find a crib for a child that was 
about the size of an eight year old. As the clerk got a funny look on 
her face Jennie started to tell her that it was for her son who had 
outgrown the baby crib she had, and that she was also looking for 
diapers bigger than the size six that they had on the shelf.
	The clerk asked Jennie if her son was mentally or physically 
handicapped. Just for a moment Jennie did not know how to respond to 
the question. Then she just stated mentally. The clerk asked Jennie on 
what age level he is.
	"Oh, I'm sorry his name is Timmy."
	"Okay," said the clerk. Jennie told the clerk that her son was at 
the stage of a two year old.
	"Okay," the clerk said. Then Jennie told the clerk that she and 
Timmy just lost his dad a while back and that Timmy had regressed back 
to being a baby. She had taken him to see a doctor about it and that 
the doctor thought that it would be best to go along with her son's 
behavior for now, rather than try and make him conform to what most 
people would think an eight year old should act like.
	"Oh, I see," said the clerk, "well, I can help you with the crib 
and the diapers. If you'll wait here a moment I'll be right back with a 
book that you can order those things from, or you can go to their 
website and order it off the net if you'd like."
	"Okay," Jennie said.
	"I'll be right here when you get back." Off the clerk went.

(part two at the store to come)