"New Kid on the Block" Part 1 - "The Expected and the Unexpected" It was a late August afternoon that portended the end of summer and the start of Fall. For the last week Jeremy Rosen was busy helping his family move into their new home. The Rosens had just moved to the town of Stubenville upon his father's job transfer. Jeremy was so busy helping with boxes and putting things away that he had no time to become acquainted with his new friends and schoolmates. On this particular afternoon, seeing how hard Jeremy had worked, his mother Abby, suggested that he go outside and explore the neighborhood and perhaps visit the nearby playground and athletic field. Jeremy, who was ten years old and entering the fifth grade, was quite eager for this opportunity. After being ordered about by his mother, father, and 16-year old sister, Cindy, he needed the break. Upon leaving his new Bay Street home, Jeremy headed directly to the town's recreation fields where he hoped to meet some new kids. Arriving at the facility, he quickly viewed five boys who he was sure were about his age. Jeremy was a very personable and outgoing youngster who had no trouble making new friends. These five kids were on a grassy field tossing a football among themselves in anticipation of Fall. Without hesitation Jeremy approached the kids and quickly introduced himself. As is always to case, these five fellows knew that Jeremy was the new kid on the block. At different times in the past week they saw the flurry of activity at the Rosen household and knew they would have a new friend in Jeremy. The boys quickly introduced themselves to Jeremy, and they all sat on the grassy field to talk. Jeremy spoke of his former town and school while the others told him about his new school, which would be opening in a few short weeks. As the lazy summer afternoon wore on, the talk turned to other subjects which included sports, television, video games, computers and Internet stuff. While they were seated and talking, Jeremy could see a boy in a wheelchair on the running track at the far end of the athletic/recreation area. From his vantage point Jeremy thought that this kid was about his age, and was surprised that he hadn't joined the group. Although Jeremy had no direct experiences with handicapped children, Jeremy was sure that this kid had to be just like everyone else. As time went by Jeremy's curiosity about this kid continued to mount, until finally Jeremy asked, "Who's the kid in the wheelchair over on the running track?" To his surprise his question was met with slightly muffled derisive laughter from among his new friends. "That's 'Stinker Man'", responded Dennis Hopkins. "Don't you mean 'Poopy Pants'?", snickered Frank Cardelli. "No," said Cal Smith. "You know who that is. That's 'Diaper Butt'." At this point Jeremy couldn't understand why they had such mean names for someone in a wheelchair. Finally, Bill Freedland answered, "That Michael Stingling. He's our age and he's in our classroom at school. He's very smart, actually the class brain and teacher's pet, but he has to wear diapers all the time." "Diapers? How come?" asked Jeremy. The boys giggled again as Jeremy asked this question. The boys really didn't know the exact reason but they were of two opinions on this matter. "I think that he can't get out of his wheelchair to use the toilet," offered Cal Smith. "That's only part of it," said Dennis Hopkins. "I think he's too lazy to tell anyone when he needs to go to the bathroom. I overheard my mother talking to Michael's mother one day at a school function. I heard Mrs. Stingling say that she can't get Michael to take an interest in managing his own bathroom needs. In school, the teacher has to remind Michael to go see the school nurse during recess to have his diapers changed..." "Anyhow," interrupted Frank Cardelli, "all I know is that he smells bad most of the time and we don't like being near him. All of us have stories about him, if you want to hear them." "Well...gee...I'm not sure...," said Jeremy. "This sounds awful personal...I don't know if we should be talking about this...I mean...you know, we wouldn't like it if it was one of us...you know?" "Just one story. Pete Spangler has a good one. Go ahead, Pete, tell the museum story," said Bill Freeland. Pete Spangler had been sitting there quietly since this topic came up, although he did partake of the laughter when Michael was first mentioned. "Oh...I don't know...I think Jeremy's right. We shouldn't be talking about this. Besides, the museum thing is a little unpleasant and a little embarrassing for Michael. We shouldn't be talking about his private business..." "I'll tell it, if you won't," volunteered Dennis Hopkins. "No, it's my story," said Pete, "and I'll tell it, but I think we should drop it after this." All of the boys who knew the story laughed knowingly as Pete got ready to tell it. "There isn't very much to the story," Pete began. "Last spring we went on a class trip to the science museum, Whenever we go on a trip, Mrs. Stingling has to come with Michael so she can take him to the bathroom, and take care of his diapers. Well, anyhow, it was early afternoon and I needed to use the bathroom. I went looking for a men's room and when I went in, I saw Michael being changed. That's all." "C'mon Pete," said Dennis, "tell the whole story." "Okay, but it's not very nice. When I went into the men's lavatory, there was a strong odor of doo-doo. Michael was out of his wheelchair, standing up in front of, and holding on to a sink. His trousers were lowered to the floor, and his rubber panties were pulled down over the metal things he wears on both of his legs, leg braces I think. There was a wet diaper on the floor, I caught a glimpse of it and it didn't appear to be dirty. I went to the urinal and did my business and I tried not to pay any attention to Michael and his mother. But the odor of poop seemed very strong, like someone went to the bathroom and didn't flush. When I finished I looked in one of the stalls and saw a wad of dirty toilet paper in the commode. So I figured I was right about someone not flushing..." "Yeah, but it was grosser than that," snickered Cal. "Tell Jeremy what really happened." "Okay, " said Pete. "I was going to finish the story. As I left the bathroom and walked past Michael and his mother, who by now was putting a new diaper on him, my attention was somehow directed to the bathroom floor. Again I saw his wet diaper on the floor, like next to him and off to the side. But on the floor, almost directly behind him, there were two large poops, like you would see in the toilet after you go. Then I quickly left the bathroom." Jeremy really didn't like this story and saw nothing funny about it. Hoping that this was the end of it, Dennis said, "Tell him the end of it, Pete." "That's it," said Pete, now a little annoyed with himself for having retold this for what seem the twentieth time. "No it isn't. I'll tell the rest," said Dennis. "Just before getting on the bus to return home, Pete overheard a conversation between Mrs. Stingling and our fourth grade teacher, Miss Skougar. Mrs. Stingling told her that after taking Michael to the bathroom she had to go looking for a janitor to mop up part of the bathroom floor because Michael had a bowel movement while his diaper was being changed. Isn't that disgusting...I mean he's right there in the bathroom and he couldn't tell his mother that he needed to use the toilet ?" By this time Jeremy knew that he had heard enough, but couldn't help asking, "What did the teacher say?" "Nothing. She had a frown on her face, almost a look of annoyance with Michael's mother for telling her what happened, but she didn't say anything," said Pete. "Well," said Dennis Hopkins, "don't be surprised if his mother calls your mother. She's always trying to get someone to be Michael's friend. I'll tell ya, you might visit with him once or twice, but you won't want to be around him after you get a good whiff of him. And wait til school starts and you see the way he stinks up the classroom and the school bus." By this time much of the afternoon had passed and the boys knew that the dinner hour was rapidly approaching. The boys disbursed to go home, and on his way home Jeremy thought about Michael and Michael's situation. Jeremy was easily toilet trained, and as the youngest of two children, had never been exposed to diapers or bathroom accidents in children. Although he had seen some of his younger cousins and neighborhood children in diapers, he had never given these matters much thought. While he could imagine the unpleasantness of being in a wet or dirty diaper, he wasn't sure that this was a reason to shun the fellow. So, while it seemed that learning of someone like Michael was unexpected, he also thought that maybe being friends with him wouldn't be so bad. Meanwhile, Michael had long since departed the running track and wheeled himself home. When he saw the boys laughing and occasionally looking his way, he instinctively knew that they were talking about him and his inability to control his bathroom functions. By now, Michael had come to expect this, thinking that another chance for a new friendship had just been ruined. Part 2 - "Thoughts and Afterthoughts" When Jeremy arrived at home, his parents and sister were preparing to sit down for dinner. Quickly, he ran upstairs, got cleaned-up for dinner, and hastily returned to the dinner table. Dinner was always a family event in the Rosen household. Larry Rosen, Jeremy's father, was always eager to talk about everyone's day. For the Rosen women, wife Abby and daughter Cindy, it was just another day of trying to get settled into their new home. The moving-in job was nearly completed, but there were still additional odds and ends to be performed. After Abby and Cindy described their day, it was Jeremy's turn. Jeremy talked about meeting five new kids down at the athletic fields. Jeremy didn't have much to say about these fellows individually, as they were only engaged in small talk about the things of which pre-adolescent boys speak. "There was also a boy in a wheelchair," Jeremy offered. "I think they said his name is Michael Stingling, and he goes to my school. He's going into the fifth grade and they say he's very smart. One kid called him the teacher's pet." "That's interesting," said Jeremy's father. "Did he come over to join the rest of your group?" "No," said Jeremy. "He kept to himself on the running track, sort of racing in his wheelchair." "Hmm, I wonder why he didn't join with the rest of his friends?" mused Abbey. "I mean if they all know each other, you'd think he'd come over to be introduced. Maybe you'll get to meet him once school begins," "I don't know," muttered Jeremy. "They didn't say a whole lot about him and he wasn't there for very long." Jeremy was now anxious to drop this topic. He wasn't about ready to discuss the diaper-talk he had heard at the dinner table. However, Cindy could tell from Jeremy's tone of voice and facial expression that Jeremy was holding something back. Cindy made a mental note to pursue this with Jeremy later. Mr. Rosen was in a good mood and as dinner came to an end, he said, "Your mother and I'll give you a treat tonight. We'll do the dishes tonight. You can enjoy the rest of this beautiful summer evening. In another week or two you'll both be doing homework again." After putting their own dishes in the sink, Cindy and Jeremy headed out to the front porch. Jeremy wanted to look at the computer magazine his father brought home from work. Cindy was right behind him, anxious to hear the whole story about the kid in the wheelchair. After getting settled on the porch, Cindy said, "So little brother what's the rest of the scoop on this handicapped kid you saw?" Jeremy hated to be called "Little brother," as this had always been Cindy's way of asserting her self-assumed superiority over him. Nevertheless, he just drew a deep breath, and let it pass. "Nothing," mumbled Jeremy, as he began thumbing through his father's magazine. "I don't know," continued Cindy. "You sure seemed anxious to drop this after bringing it up. I agree with Mom. It's odd that he didn't join you and your new friends, especially since they go to school together, and he's supposed to be so smart." "I don't know...it just wasn't a big deal to me. Maybe he's just shy, or maybe he has a hard time meeting new kids...", Jeremy trailed off, again eager to drop this subject. "And they didn't say anything else about him?" persisted Cindy. "No!" Jeremy snapped. "Will you give it a rest, Cindy!" "Okay, okay, I'll drop it. But I know you, Little Brother, and there's more to this and it must be pretty unusual since you won't talk about it. This kid sounds like an outcast to me and there must be a reason for it." Jeremy just ignored her, and with that Cindy departed the porch to take a walk. Jeremy read on the porch until darkness fell and his eyes had gotten too tired to read. By this time everyone else was in the living room watching television and Jeremy decided that it was his bedtime. After getting washed and dressed for bed, Jeremy flopped on the bed and quickly turned-off his bedside lamp. It was a warm but pleasant night with a nice breeze blowing through his open window. As he drifted off to sleep, he began thinking about Michael. Jeremy was very bright and very logical, and as he mulled over what he had heard, it occurred to him that maybe none of this made any sense. After all, Jeremy thought, why would he need to wear diapers if he simply needed help getting out of his wheelchair to go to the bathroom.; if he could stand up to have his diaper changed, he could stand up to use the toilet. Being too lazy to tell anyone he needed to go made even less sense. No one would endure the embarrassment of wetting or messing their pants if they didn't have to. If we was smart enough to be the class brain, surely he was smart enough to get help to use the bathroom. No, Jeremy was sure they made up this "diaper thing" and that it probably wasn't true. But, why would Pete Spangler say he saw Michael being changed and pooping on the floor. Surely, it would take a vivid imagination to make that up. As all of these thoughts whirled in Jeremy's sleepy head, Jeremy realized that he was quite fascinated by all of this, and that he wanted to get to the bottom of it. Maybe Michael's mother will call my mother, maybe I could be his friend, at least for a little while... Michael's bedtime had also arrived, too. As Mrs Stingling got Michael ready for bed, Michael told her about seeing Jeremy. "I think there's a new kid in the neighborhood and I think he's my age," said Michael. "Oh?" said Mrs. Stingling as she got Michael out of his wheelchair and onto the his bed. "What makes you think he's about your age?" "I saw him at the play field and he was talking to Dennis, Frank, Cal and those guys." By this time Mrs. Stingling had removed the jogging pants Michael had been wearing and she began undoing the velcro straps which fastened his leg braces around his legs. As she untied his shoes and prepared to remove his orthopedic hardware, she couldn't help but imagine what transpired between this new boy and this group." "Did you go over and join them?" she asked. "No. I think they saw me wheeling about, and they were talking about me...so I didn't go over to where they were," he said. Her worst suspicions about these kids were being realized. "You can tell me more in a minute, let me get some things from the bathroom." With that, she went into the bathroom to get some wipes, a pair of diapers, and a change of plastic pants. At this point she was sure she could imagine all of the terrible things they said about her son, including the nicknames that had gotten back to both of them. As she entered the bedroom, she asked, "So why do you think you were being talked about?" "They were laughing among themselves, and they kept looking over towards me...it was like they were making fun of me...I could tell by the way they were laughing..." Mrs. Stingling had removed Michael's rubber pants and had begun to unpin his diapers, which contained a small bowel movement. She felt very sorry hearing this from her son. She didn't think she would ever adjust to the shunning and teasing he had to endure, nevertheless, she thought that this might be another good time to talk about these matters with him. "Did you know you had a BM?" she asked. "I know it now," he said as the odor had wafted about his room. "No, I mean did you know it when I began changing you?," she said a little sternly. "I'm not sure," he said. "Maybe I did smell something," he said a little disingenuously, hoping that she'd drop this subject, but knowing that she wouldn't. "Hmm...well I knew it the minute I pulled your pants down...that's why I brought these wipes back with me." As she began cleaning him up, she continued, "You know, Michael, it breaks my heart that you have to cope with this problem, and that you're teased and shunned by other kids. But, as I've said before, you have to learn to help yourself..." Michael knew what was coming, as he had heard it all before from his mother and grandmother, especially since starting school... "First and foremost, you have to tell me, or grandma, or your teacher, or Miss Rodgers when you've had a bowel movement. I know that you can't feel it or control it, but there's nothing wrong with your nose. The minute you smell it, tell one of us that you need to be changed..." "But I was in a chat room on the Internet talking to another kid, and..." "...I don't care. You need to get into the habit of telling someone when you need to go to the bathroom. Likewise when you're wet and you can smell it, tell us. Don't wait till everyone within 30 feet knows you've gone to the bathroom in your pants. When all of us know we need to use the bathroom, we go; nobody has the luxury of putting it off indefinitely, and you're no exception. You're not going to have any friends until you do a better job keeping your private business a secret..." By this time Mrs. Stingling had finished changing Michael and getting him into his pj's. Gathering up the used wipes, his rubber pants, and soiled diapers, she wished him a good night. "Michael, I love you very much, you're all I have, and I only want what's best for you." Michael now lay in his darkened room, drifting off to sleep. He was very content to have others look after his bathroom needs, and so what if others didn't like the way he smelled, it wasn't his fault that he was completely incontinent, people would just have to accept him the way he was. As Mrs. Stingling rinsed out Michael's dirty diaper in the commode, and got ready to wash out his rubber pants, she thought about the new boy in the neighborhood. She thought, "Maybe I'll try again to get a new friend for Michael. Perhaps this boy will be different, a little more understanding, a little more tolerant...tomorrow I'll go looking for him." Part 3 - "The Visit" The next morning dawned as the beginning of yet another beautiful late summer day. Michael had been awake daydreaming about the end of summer and the start of the new school term. Although he enjoyed his summer and the many outings he had with his grandparents, he was looking forward to the start of school. Michael was an excellent student who loved school right from the start. In spite of his social problems he managed well in school. Actually, although the boys were tough on him, the girls at school were much nicer to him, although they could keep their distance too at those times when Michael was noticeably wet or soiled. Michael's mother came into the bedroom to get their day started. Mrs. Stingling was employed as a paralegal, but had taken this week off from work to do those back to school things with Michael. "Are you awake?" she asked as she entered his bedroom with a change of diapers from the bathroom. "Yeah, I've been awake for awhile. I was going to get in my wheelchair and get on the computer for a while, but then I decided to stay put till you came to change me," he said. "Okay. Well you can play on the computer while I make breakfast. When you're done with breakfast I'll get you in the tub so you can take a bath. Afterwards, you're on your own for a while, I have some errands I want to run. In fact, when I'm running the water you can sit on the toilet for a few minutes and we'll see if you can have a bowel movement. You've been going at midmorning the last few days, except for that mess you had last night." "Do I have to?" he asked, clearly annoyed. "Yes. I'm going to be gone for several hours and I don't want you sitting here in dirty diapers, if you don't have to." By this time she had changed his diapers. As usual he was soaking wet first thing in the morning, and the smell of his urine began to permeate the bedroom. After checking his bed clothes to make sure they had stayed dry, she sprayed his room with a little air freshener and disposed of his wet diapers in the diaper pail in their bathroom. Michael had pulled his pj bottoms back up over his rubber pants and had transferred himself into his wheelchair and was now at the pc. As Mrs. Stingling fixed breakfast, she thought of her hoped-for encounter with Jeremy's mother. As she did on several other occasions, she planned to fully explain Michael's disability and suggest that the boys might get together for lunch. She did this in the past and always with what was becoming a predictable outcome. Parents were always eager for their kids to meet Michael, and they always got along fine until Michael had an unpleasant accident...and then no one wanted anything more to do with him. If only he would tell me when he knows he needs to be changed...she thought. After breakfast Michael headed into the bathroom to get washed. Mrs. Stingling got Michael ready for his bath, and, as threatened, sat him on the toilet as the tub filled. Although his bladder voided uncontrollably as he sat there, he hadn't pooped by time his mother lifted him from the toilet and placed him in the tub. "Oh well," Mrs. Stingling thought, "yet another messy diaper to look forward to later on." When Michael was done bathing and dried off, his mother got him back in his wheelchair and tossed a towel over his lap. Michael wheeled into his bedroom and slid back into bed and waited for his mother to come in and diaper him. Mrs. Stingling was right there and after taking care of him, he finished dressing himself. "Mom?" he asked, after his mother took care of his personal need. "What, honey?" she replied. "Can I go without my leg braces today. I think I'll be more comfortable...," he said. "Well you shouldn't, in fact you need to start practicing your walking with your crutches, you know what Dr. Moore said..." "I know..but I just want to..." "Okay, just today...but we need to get down to work. I'd like to get you out of that wheelchair by the time you become 11 (I'd also like to get you out of diapers by yesterday she thought). Listen, I'm going out for a while. If you need anything call grandma or grandpa, they're both home today. Also, if you need to be changed , one of them will come to take care of that too." "Right," said Michael, somewhat unenthusiastically. With that Mrs. Stingling left the house hoping to find the Rosen's new home. It dawned on her that the Hassinger home in the next block of Bay Street had been up for sale, and perhaps that's where the new kid lived. As she walked down the street she was pleased to see Larry and Abby Rosen working on the shrubbery in front of their new home. Mrs. Stingling approached them, holding out her hand. "Hi, I'm Linda Stingling, welcome to the neighborhood..." "Thank you, I'm Abby Rosen, and this is my husband Larry," Abby said. "Howdy, Linda," said Larry, as he put down his spade and extended his hand to her. "We've been here for about 10 days and there's still plenty of work to do..." "I can imagine," said Linda Stingling. "Tell me, do you have any children?" "Yes, we have a son and a daughter. Cindy's the oldest, sixteen, and Jeremy just turned ten and he's starting the fifth grade. Cindy's going to be a senior, she's an "advanced placement" kid, and she'll be graduating a year early," Larry said proudly. "That's very good. I guess we have something in common. I have a son who's almost 11 and he's also starting the fifth grade. Actually he's very bright, but he's a little behind for his age. You see, he's disabled and he missed a year of school because of hospitalizations. But he does very well," offered Linda. "His name is Michael." "Oh, I think Jeremy saw him the other day at the playground. Does your son use a wheelchair?" asked Abby. "Yes, and he frequents the playground often. He likes to race in his wheelchair on the track there," said Linda. "Why don't the two of you go inside and have coffee and Danish and get better acquainted," suggested Larry. "It seems like the two of you will have much in common." The two women liked that idea, especially since the sun had gotten quite warm, but not unpleasant. The two ladies retreated to Abby's still not quite settled kitchen. "Don't mind the way the kitchen appears, I'm still moving things around," apologized Abby. "Think nothing of it, it all takes time I know,' replied Linda. "I hope you don't mind," started Abby, "but Jeremy mentioned your son at dinner last night and Larry and I were a little surprised the lad didn't interact with Jeremy and the other boys at the playground the other day and..." Abby trailed off. "Well, I'm not surprised, and in fact I was hoping we could talk about that, if you don't mind," said Linda Stingling, a little timidly. "Sure," said Abby. "Well Michael was born with a birth defect known as spina bifida, sometimes called "open spine." When he was developing, prior to birth, his spinal cord didn't close at a certain point, and so he's paralyzed from his waist, down..." "I see," interjected Abby. "So, he wears leg braces and uses a wheelchair, although we really think he can learn to walk with crutches. And he's....ah...well...he's completely incontinent....he has no sensory awareness of, or control over, his bowel and bladder functions. And so, ah....well...he needs to wear diapers, and so, this has created some social acceptance problems for him.." "Oh,' said Abby a little uncomfortably. "Most of the time the others don't like to socialize with him because of his odors, even though we try to get him changed frequently. And, of course, when he's had a noticeable accident, he gets teased and shunned. I must say he can be his own worst enemy at times because he often knows after the fact that he needs to be changed, but he doesn't tell me, or his teacher in school. The school nurse, Miss Rodgers, attends to his diaper changes in school. Actually, he's at an age where he should be attending to his own diapering, but he won't even tell us that he needs to be changed, so there's no way he's going to change himself...." said Linda. "Yes, I see," said Abby, now hoping to get off this subject. "He's really a good kid," continued Linda, "And this isn't his fault. I sometimes think that he's being punished for my sin. I was single when I got pregnant with Michael. Michael's father was going to marry me, but we had pre-natal testing done, and the test showed the Michael was going to have this birth defect, and his father wanted no part of a defective baby, so he got a job elsewhere and moved on. I never knew there were such kids with these kinds of problems, so this has been an amazing experience for me. I mean everybody's kid can walk, except for those kids you see on posters or telethons. And every kid gets toilet trained by the time they're three or four; I mean, I never thought I'd be changing diapers on an almost eleven year old kid...you know, he's already showing signs of the onset of puberty...he's getting pubic hair...and..you know...." By this time Abby Rosen was beginning to feel some sympathy towards Linda Stingling's plight. "Well, if I can ever help you..." Abby began. "I got a lot of help from my parents. They live nearby. In fact, I'd be in utter poverty without them. They paid my tuition for paralegal training and I got a good job with the biggest law firm in town, and my boss is wonderful too. But as far as Michael is concerned, I very thankful for my father. He does everything for him. He's a retired engineer and he built Michael's p.c., which he just loves. Also, he takes Michael to museums and Cubs games and he just great about attending to Michael, even in public restrooms where there's almost no privacy. I'm sorry, I know I'm rambling, on and on.... Anyhow, I was wondering if maybe Jeremy could come by for lunch and meet Michael and..." "Well...yes...sure...why not. They'd probably have much in common and they're going to be classmates. Actually, Jeremy's a very good student too, and loves computers and the Internet, and all that stuff that I don't understand; he's also a Cubs fan too. Should I explain Michael's condition to Jeremy, first," Abby asked. "No. I want to see if I can get Michael to pay more attention to his bathroom needs. Maybe, Jeremy will be the catalyst for this. Let's not inform him, and let's see how this works out," said Linda. "Okay. That's your decision. How about the beginning of next week, say the Tuesday after Labor Day, perhaps noonish or one o'clock?" suggested Abby. "Great!" said Linda. "This will be good." Cindy Rosen had been standing in the dining room, behind the kitchen doorway and had overheard almost all of the conversation. "So, no wonder this kid in the wheelchair is an outcast. I wouldn't want to be around anyone in smelly diapers, especially a big kid; it's bad enough when I baby sit I have to change a baby. I can imagine what it's like for a big kid. Gee, what if Jeremy wore diapers; yuck, it's bad enough when he finishes sitting on the pot. Hmm, I wonder if Jeremy knows what's going on with this kid...maybe that's why he didn't say much at dinner last night...I'm going to find out," she thought. Part 4 Soon after Linda Stingling left the Rosen household, Larry came into the kitchen where Abby was cleaning-up after their lunch and conversation. "So how did you and our new neighbor hit it off?" asked Larry, in his typically affable way. "I don't know," said Abby, "I may have agreed to something that I shouldn't have, or at least not without talking to Jeremy first." "Why do you say that? What could you have done that's now so regrettable?" wondered Larry. "Well, it's kind of hard for me to talk about this. Remember at dinner last night when Jeremy was talking about Linda's son, and it seemed to us that it was strange that he didn't interact with Jeremy and those other boys?" reminded Abby. "Sure, I also call that we commented further on it to each other while we were doing the dishes," said Larry. "Well, there is a reason for this. I'm a little uncomfortable talking about this, so try to bear with me, "started Abby. "Sure, go on, you know we can discuss anything between us," Larry said, reassuringly. "I'm not sure I completely understand all of this. Linda Stingling talked quickly, and in sort of a jumbled way, like she was embarrassed. Anyway, Michael has a birth defect, I think she said spinal bifida, or maybe it was spina bifida, and he's paralyzed from the waist down," Abby continued. "I see," Larry interjected. "And he has another difficulty which is possibly more problematic for him. Apparently, he cannot be toilet trained because he has no bowel or bladder control, and so, he wears diapers, and ..." Abby trailed off. "Yes, I can see where this could be a big problem," interjected Larry again. "...and I guess for the obvious reasons, he's shunned and humiliated by the other kids, and I guess he's very isolated socially. He's a very good student in school and is really into personal computers, and...," said Abby. "But what does this have to do with Jeremy?" interrupted Larry. "....Well, Linda essentially wants a friend for Michael, and she wanted to know if Jeremy could stop by before school begins to meet Michael. It sounds like they'll both be in the same classroom in school," said Abby. "And what did you say about Jeremy visiting with her son?" Larry asked. "I said yes, and they're supposed to get together next Tuesday, after Labor Day, just before the start of school. But now I'm starting to have second thoughts..." said Abby. "Because...?" said Larry. "Because Jeremy's only human too, and I don't know if we can expect him to be friends to someone he might not be comfortable being around. I mean, you know, what if Michael has an accident and messes himself while they're together, and suppose there's an unpleasant odor. Can we expect Jeremy to just sit there, and do the super human, by just ignoring it. You know what goes on now between Cindy and Jeremy when one of them leaves their "signature" in the bathroom... I don't know. I don't want Jeremy to tease or humiliate this boy, I do want him to be compassionate, but, I don't expect him to endure something that could be quite unpleasant..." Abby explained. "Well, I'm sure by this time, Michael asks to be changed the minute he realizes he's had an accident, or maybe he takes care of it on his own, after all, he's what, ten or eleven, and he probably wants to take care of his private business, you know? So maybe it's not as bad as you're imagining it to be," offered Larry. "That's not the impression I got from Linda. For starters he apparently doesn't change his own diapers; she and her parents do it when they're with him and the school nurse takes care of him in school. What's worse, if I understood her correctly, he's very unconcerned about his bathroom needs and apparently doesn't communicate the need to be changed. It seems like everybody has to be responsible but him. Linda works full-time as a paralegal. So if Jeremy and Michael are alone and he has an accident, well you see my point..." Abby said. "I do, so what are you going to do?" "Well, I don't want to renege on my promise. So, I'll just ask Jeremy to go visit Michael. But, if there's a problem and Jeremy doesn't want to socialize with him, I don't think I can force the issue," Abby said. "I plan to ask him during dinner tonight." "And are you going to explain this aspect of his handicap, to him?" inquired Larry. "No. Linda wants to use the start of this friendship as a vehicle for getting Michael to better deal with these issues and I agreed to go along. However, I wouldn't be surprised if Jeremy's already aware of this since he talked with those other kids at the playground the other day." "Well, you may be right about that. We'll just have to see how this works out." concluded Larry. Larry and Abby both thought that this topic had been exhausted. Larry wanted to return to his yard work and Abby had errands to run before starting dinner later that afternoon. The Rosens became quickly preoccupied with their afternoon tasks and didn't give any more thought to Linda Stingling's visit. However, Abby's thoughts returned to it as she began to prepare dinner. As the dinner meal began Cindy Rosen and her father were both apprehensive to see how this topic would be handled by Mrs. Rosen. Of course, neither Mr. nor Mrs. Rosen had any awareness of Cindy's knowledge of Linda Stingling's visit. After much small talk around the dinner table, Abby Rosen, a little apprehensively said, "Oh Jeremy, we had a visit today by Mrs. Stingling, she's the mother of the boy in the wheelchair you saw yesterday..." "Oh," said Jeremy, not expressing much interest. "Apparently," Mrs. Rosen continued, "he's about your age, maybe a little older, and he's going to be a classmate of yours when school starts." "Yeah," said Jeremy, "the other boys told me that yesterday..." Jeremy hadn't given his playground encounter much thought, although it seemed that his memories of his conversation were quickly returning. "You and Michael have much in common," interjected Mr. Rosen. "Michael's a big Chubbies fan like you and he's into computers, and he's a very good student." "Hmm," said Jeremy, trying not to express much interest. "Jeremy, Michael's in a wheelchair because he has a birth defect and he's paralyzed below his waist. But other than that he's very normal and...well.. his mother would like the two of you to become friends and she thought maybe you could have lunch with him next Tuesday...", Abby's voice trailed off. "That's a great idea," said Larry. "I'm sure they'll hit it off just great." It occurred to Jeremy that this is exactly what the boys said would happen. Jeremy was a little surprised that everything was happen so fast, too. "Gee, I don't know," said Jeremy, "Well...I mean...I suppose....I guess it couldn't hurt to visit him once...I..." Cindy sat there quietly observing the conversation. Jeremy was usually very outgoing and not shy about meeting new people, adults and kids alike. It immediately occurred to her that Jeremy probably knew what she knew, and she was going to find out. "Good!," exclaimed Abby. "I'll call Linda back tomorrow and let her know you'll join Michael for lunch." "Mom, Dad, " interrupted Cindy. "I was wondering if we could get another break from the dishes tonight. I heard there's a nifty ice cream parlor near the mall. I wanted to take Jeremy for some ice cream." "What's this?" chuckled Larry. "A new found love between brother and sister? Are you treating Jeremy, or am I going to pay for this outing?" "No, " said Cindy. "I'll pay. It's another nice night and I wanted to check this place out." "Well," said Abby, "I guess it's OK, but I don't want you guys to forget how to do the dishes, it took me too long to get you two trained." Jeremy was completely confused. Since when did Cindy ever want to take him anywhere. But for ice cream, Jeremy wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Cindy and Jeremy had pretty much finished eating and dutifully took their plates and utensils to the kitchen sink. "What gives Cindy," asked Jeremy as he put his dinnerware in the sink and ran some water. "Nothing, can't I treat my brother to some ice cream. Look, I need to hit the bathroom, I'll meet you on the porch in a few, OK?" said Cindy. "Fine," said Jeremy as he headed towards the front porch. At this moment Jeremy had a vague feeling of uneasiness. In the back of his mind he wasn't sure if he really wanted to visit this kid in the wheelchair who was supposed to wear diapers. And why did Cindy want to take him for ice cream. What gives, he thought. As he pondered these thoughts Cindy returned carrying her sweater. "Ready to go, little brother," she asked with a bit of teasing in her voice. "Not if this is about picking on me," Jeremy said with some annoyance. "This isn't about anything," said Cindy. "I thought we could visit this ice cream place. I promise not to talk the whole time." With that they venture off and want turned out to be a circuitous walk of over a mile in the approaching darkness. After a time Cindy asked, "So what do you know about this crippled kid?" "Not much, only what Mom and Dad said tonight..." Jeremy ventured. "I thought those other kids talked about him the other day at the playground...." she wondered. "No...not really..." Jeremy said a little reluctantly, recalling the diaper talk that he was not going to share with his sister. "Oh," said Cindy. With that they walked another block in silence. "You know," Cindy said finally, "it's a shame he can't walk and needs to stay in that wheelchair. It must be pretty tough..." "I suppose...," responded Jeremy "I wonder how he goes to the bathroom," she inquired, almost as though she was thinking aloud. "What?" asked Jeremy, incredulously. "Why would you think of that?" "Well, if he can't walk and if he can't get out of his wheelchair, I wonder how he handles it. Maybe somebody has to help him or maybe he wears diapers ?" she suggested quizzically. "Diapers ! Why would you say that? Big kids don't wear diapers unless they're retarded or something. Why did you even bring this up?" he asked with a combination of surprise and curiosity. "I don't know. I think I saw a disabled girl on TV on a telethon once and she was on crutches and they had her walk across the stage and it looked there might have been diapers under her dress...her dress stuck out over her back side and I think her father told the host she was incontinent, and ... " "Incontinent? What's that? " asked Jeremy. "It means you can't control when you have to go to the bathroom...like older people get that way. My friend Suszy's grandmother was like that and she wore those diapers that you see on TV...Suszy's mother had to take care of her and everything..." "Oh," said Jeremy in a voice that clearly indicated his desire to drop this subject "Well, I was just wondering about this new kid, and ..." said Cindy. "I'm sure he goes to the bathroom just like everybody else, and I'm sure he doesn't wear diapers, so let's drop this, OK" said Jeremy somewhat scoldingly. "That's what you think. Boy are you in for a surprise the first time you smell his wet and messy diapers." Cindy thought to herself. By this time they had made their way back home, ice cream eaten, both ready to hit the hay. After exchanging good nights with everyone Jeremy quickly went to his bedroom. He wasted no time in getting himself ready for bed and even he was surprised by how quickly he had completed his bedtime preparations and found himself in bed. As he lay there he found himself again thinking about Michael, his impending visit, and Cindy's expressed curiosity. How did Cindy know about his diapers? Did one of her new girlfriends tell her? And why didn't Mom mention it at dinner? Maybe this boy's mother never mentioned it. At this point he found himself getting drowsier and he began think about being in diapers. I wonder what it's like to wet or mess yourself. I wonder what his mother says to him while she's changing him, and what it looks and smells like. As he drifted off to sleep he realized that he was more curious about this than he realized, and that his private body part was getting large and firm while he pondered these things.