My Cousin and I by Diaper Dave [email protected] This is a story about my cousin Shawn and I growing up. My cousin Shawn is a brain injured 21 year old and I'm his slightly disabled caregiver. This is a true and fictional story. The characters, names and lots of the story are real. Some parts of the story have been enhanced, changed to tell what I wish had happened or made up to reflect fantasies of what I would like to have happened. -- Chapter One -- Hi, my name is David, I'm 31 and live with my 21 year old cousin Shawn. Shawn and I have a home in an assisted living community. Residents at the community are provided with varying levels of assistance depending upon our disabilities. With the help of nurses and caregivers we are able to live as independently as our disabilities allow. Most of the people I work with and meet think that having to live in a community like my cousin and I do is so sad and they feel sorry for us. They think it is like living in a mental hospital or nursing home but it's not. Because we are given only the help we need and have full control of our lives otherwise it's really a nice place to live. You see, Shawn is developmentally disabled (retarded) and so am I, but not as bad as my cousin. I also have a couple of physical disabilities because of back surgery when I was a teenager. I can't lift or carry heavy objects and both Shawn and I are totally incontinent. Since most people don't have a clue what incontinent means, I'll explain. Shawn and I don't have any or very little control of our bladder and bowel functions. Because of this we have to wear diapers at all times. If we didn't wear diapers we would wet our pants and beds without knowing and without diapers I would poop my pants often too since I don't have enough control to hold by bowels until I can reach a bathroom. I try to use the bathroom every morning so I don't poop my diapers all the time but if I can't go in the morning or have to poop more than once during the day I end up filling my diapers anyway. Even with diapers pooping my pants is, to say the least, inconvenient and without diapers it would be awful. Shawn doesn't make any effort to use the bathroom and fills his diapers once and sometimes twice a day. He also isn't regular so he poops his diaper almost completely at random. It seems he almost always fills his diapers when we are away from home, at the store, mall, park or someone else's house I almost always end up changing his poopy diapers when we are out. Since he's taller than me it's almost impossible to change his wet diapers in a bathroom stall and pretty much impossible to change his poopy diapers in one. Fortunately we have a mini-van and it has a large bench seat that makes it easy to change his, and my, diapers in the van. Well that's the general facts about Shawn and I and what it means for us to be incontinent. Now I'll tell you a little about what Shawn and I are like. When Shawn was 5 and I was 15 we were in a bad car accident. Shawn had serious head trauma and I was nearly bent in two by the rear seatbelt I was wearing (they didn't have shoulder belts in the rear seats back then). After the accident Shawn was like a toddler instead of a five year old. He could barely walk or talk and had lost all control of his bladder and bowels so he had to be put back in diapers and plastic pants. He also had trouble feeding himself and couldn't sleep in his youth bed without falling out. Because of this he had to have help eating, drink from sippy cups or baby bottles and sleep in a crib. Other than this mental setback he appeared, at first, to be normal. He could talk, ate and slept well and still liked to play. It was just that he was now a two year old in a five year olds body. It was later discovered that he also wasn't mentally developing at a normal rate. Because of the accident Shawn at age 21 has the mental abilities of a 12 year old. He also has the personality of a toddler and a preteen. He likes McDonalds, bike riding and school, like a preteen. But he has never been able to be potty trained again, he can't sleep in a normal bed without falling out so he has bars on his bed, he prefers drinking from baby bottles, almost never sleeps without a pacifier, will almost only wear baby/toddler style clothes and has a huge collection of stuffed animals. He also won't go anywhere without at least one of his stuffed animals, usually several, even to school, park or mall, just like a toddler. Because of his diapers all his pants have elastic waist bands or are overalls. He hates shorts but loves shortalls which because of his diapers have snaps in the crotch to make changing his diapers easier. At home he wears rompers in the summer, again with snaps in the crotch and footed sleepers in the winter. To keep his diapers from drooping when wet and to help stop leaks most of his shirts are onsies with snaps in the crotch. He loves to play at the park and has lots of preteen, teen and retarded adult friends in and outside of the community. He is treated by the children like he is a normal 12 year old. Several of his disabled friends in the community also wear diapers and the children all know that they wear diapers. The only problem the children have with his diapers is when he poops them. Shawn usually doesn't want to stop playing to come in to have his diapers changed so it's the other children that will stop playing and make him go in to get changed. Sometimes Shawn refuses to stop playing and one of his friends will come to the house and tell me that Shawn has filled his diapers and won't come home to have them changed. They want me to come change him because his poopy diaper smells to much for them to play with him. Shawn is a happy and well adjusted 12 year old in a 21 year old body. The doctor says his development is slowing and that he won't ever develop beyond the level of a 15-16 year old teenager and he won't reach that level until his 30's. It's also likely he won't loose his toddler like personality and could develop an even more babyish personality. He also is unlikely to ever be potty trained even if he wanted to be, which he doesn't, so he'll be in disposable or cloth diapers and plastic pants for the rest of his life. The accident left me with a damaged vertebrae which had to be repaired and a serious concussion. After surgery to repair the vertebrae I was left totally incontinent and a weak back that makes lifting and carrying heavy objects difficult. My head injuries make remembering things difficult, I'm slow to learn new things and I have a hard time reading and comprehending what I read. I can learn anything but it can be a slow process and if it's not something I'm interested in learning I don't work hard enough at it and it takes even longer or I just give up and don't learn it at all. Because of these problems I had to go to Special Ed classes. I was almost 24 when I graduated high school, got a job and moved into my first apartment. Because of my disabilities I was assigned a case worker and a caregiver. The caregiver would come to my apartment twice a week to check up on me and help me with things I couldn't do, like change the bed linen and wash clothes. Four years later I moved into the assisted living community. Because my parents were getting to old to take care of Shawn, he moved in with me at the community. Living with me eliminated the need for a live-in caregiver and allowed him to live in the community where there were more adults and children like him. The nearby special school allowed him to continue learning and the community daycare gave him someplace to go after school and still play with his friends. I have continued taking classes to help me get better jobs. I also take care of Shawn, spent lots of time with him at the daycare and relate well to the mentally disabled adults and children at the daycare. So, after I took some special courses I was given a job at the daycare full time. Like Shawn, I'm totally incontinent. I prefer cloth diapers and plastic pants but usually wear disposable diapers with plastic pants when at work. I have pretty regular bowel movements and try to go every morning so I only poop my diapers 1 or 2 times a week. This is much better then the first 3 or 4 years after the accident when I sometimes filled my diapers 1 to 2 times a day. It's also better than Shawn who still poops his diapers 1 to 2 times a day. Like Shawn, I'm pretty well adjusted. I look and can act like any other 31 year old. Talking to me you would never know I have developmental disabilities unless the subject you wanted to talk about was one I never learned or you hear me talking about my favorite cartoon, Rugrats. I am very immature for my age, mentally, and relate better to children then adults. I prefer cartoons and Disney movies to drama shows, prefer bike riding and playing at the park to playing golf (yuck) and my favorite restaurant is "McDonalds" not "Olive Garden" (double yuck). Most people don't understand why Shawn acts so much like a toddler instead of a at his mental age of around 12, but I think I do. For example, he doesn't change his own diapers and clearly doesn't want to learn even though other adults and children that live here that wear diapers are able to change their own. Also, there isn't a physical reason he can't be to potty trained he just won't try and gets upset if you even suggest it. His need for stuffed animals, you virtually never see him without one, and the fact he likes a pacifier at bedtime are things that only the most retarded adults and children here enjoy. He prefers a baby bottle for juice and milk but uses a cup for cola and water. When he's out playing he usually has one of his stuffed toys in his hand and a bottle of juice in his shortall pocket. His clothes are another thing. He hates adult looking clothes. He won't wear shirts with more than 3 buttons or with a collar and prefers pull on shirts or shirts with shoulder snaps. Most of his shirts are diaper shirts or onsies, these are a one piece shirt/underpants combination with a snap up crotch. These are common here since they keep diapers from sagging and help prevent diapers from leaking. Almost all the diaper wearing adults and children wear diaper T-shirts. All his pants have elastic waist bands or are overalls and he hates zippers. If an overall has a zipper it has to be sewn up before he'll wear it. He will wear pull-on shorts but prefers shortalls and likes the shortalls that have a snap crotch the best. In the summer he wears rompers, a pull on shirt/short combination with a snap up crotch, at home and if he can get away with it to daycare. In the winter he wears footed sleepers almost exclusively at home, not for bed but during the day to play in. To bed he usually wears a T-shirt, cloth diaper and plastic pants year round. Shawn is a little taller than me and a little heavier so I can wear all his clothes and that's why I know why he likes living like a toddler. Dressing like a toddler, drinking from a bottle and having a pacifier at bed or nap time makes you feel like a toddler. He likes all the attention he gets from me and other normal adults. Most of the time when we're out he's the center of attention. Teenage boys and young men ignore him or make fun of him but he doesn't seem to mind. Teenage girls and young women adore him. He's tall and good looking but in the clothes he wears and the way he acts makes the girls think he's cute. It's usually easy to tell he's retarded and girls are always coming over to talk to him, but since he just stares and smiles at the girls when they ask him questions they ask me questions about him instead. When they figure out he's wearing diapers they really go crazy, asking me questions about him while they fuss over him, patting his diapered butt, asking him if his diaper is wet or messy and peeking looks at his diapers and plastic pants through the sides of his shortalls or overalls. They'll ask Shawn about whatever stuffed animal he's carrying and if I'm carrying a diaper bag for us they'll ask if it's his and will ask to look inside. They are usually amazed by the size of our diapers and plastic pants and want to know where we get such huge diapers and baby panties. Sometimes they'll figure out I'm wearing diapers too. I've had my butt patted and asked if my didees were wet a few times. It's embarrassing but it gives me a neat feeling that I can't describe but I enjoy. Since Shawn came to live with me and with my working at the daycare now, I'm around him the majority of everyday and I think I understand why he is more a toddler than a 12 year old. I know he loves the attention and care he gets. His diapers insure that he has intimate one-on-one contact with someone 4 to 6 times a day. His inability and/or lack of desire to do most things, like dress and diaper himself, insures he gets even more care and attention. His physical age combined with his toddler clothes and his babyish personality insure he is the center of attention when he meets new people and when he's out in public. His stuffed animals are something he can love and take care of and carrying one around all the time insures he is never alone. His bed is so full of stuffed toys that there almost isn't room for him so even at night he's never alone. He can't help but feel loved, cared for and secure around so many people who play with and take care of him. I think I understand why he is like he is because I wish I could be just like him. I enjoy taking care of him but sometimes I want to be the toddler and taken care of so badly that I wish I was the one who was severely retarded. I wish someone would change my diapers, especially the messy ones, pick out my clothes and dress me, fix me my bottles and tuck me in bed at night with a pacifier and a bedtime story. Every year I'm acting more like Shawn and I enjoy wearing his clothes more and more. At home we are almost always dressed in the same type of clothes. I won't let anyone see me in a romper but in the winter everyone knows I wear sleepers and have seen me in them often. I tell everyone that they are so warm and Wisconsin is so cold that everyone should wear sleepers. I wear overalls and shortalls at home and at work most of the time but I only wear shortalls that don't have snaps in the crotch to work. I have several pacifiers now and we have a lot more baby bottles at home since we both use them now. Our favorite thing to do on a winter night is to get changed into dry cloth diapers, plastic pants and sleepers, I make us each a bottle of milk or juice, then put the latest Disney movie in the VCR and we sit together on the sofa and eat cookies and drink from our bottles while we watch the movie. I'm starting to hate having to change out of the clothes I love into more adult clothes when I leave home. I wish it would be alright for me to dress anyway I wanted anytime I wanted. If I could I'd never wear adult clothes again. I want to use a pacifier or suck my thumb and have a baby bottle of juice at lunch. I want to be taken care of sometimes, not all the time, but whenever I wanted to feel loved and cared for. At the rate I'm going my wardrobe will be the same as Shawn's before years end. I'm wearing more and more juvenile looking clothes to work and away from home every day. I really like shortalls and all but one pair now has snaps and that's the one I wear to work. I like the snaps because it's makes changing my diapers so much easier but I'm nervous what my normal co-workers will say, I'm the only full time disabled employee. I have always slept with a stuffed animal, bunnies are my favorite, and lately I've been buying a lot of stuffed toys. Shawn and I go shopping at the local thrift stores almost every week to find clothes he will wear and bargains. You would be surprised what you can find. Shawn loves the toy section because nothing is usually packaged and he can play with everything. When he finds something he likes, usually several things, we buy them and because they are inexpensive his toy collection is the envy of all the other children. Because most of his toys were so inexpensive he can trade or give them to the other children or disabled adults when he gets tired of them. Both of us like the stuffed toy section the best. When he finds one he likes it gets added to his huge collection and it usually becomes the current favorite that he carries around everywhere. When I would find a stuffed toy I liked I would show it to Shawn hoping he would want it. Then I had an excuse to buy it without admitting it was me who wanted it. Lately though when I find a bunny or other stuffed toy I like I just buy it for myself. My bed is starting to get crowded too now and if you looked in our house when we're watching TV you would more often then not see both of us holding our stuffed animals while we watched TV. Lately when Shawn and I go out in the car I usually bring along one of my bunnies to keep me company. Several times I have gone to answer the door still holding my bunny, only noticing and putting it down just before I opened the door. I also hate having to leave my favorite bunny at home everyday. I wish I could take her with me to work. I don't want to carry her around all day like Shawn does but I would like to know she's there and I could hold her if I wanted too. I'm starting to get a little worried about my changing desires. Even I know they are a little weird and I'm afraid other people will think it's a lot weird. I'm trying to work up the courage to talk to our social worker about it. I hope she will think it's normal considering my disabilities and will say it's ok to wear the clothes I like and have my bunny, pacifier and bottle as long as it doesn't interfere with my work or taking care of Shawn. I'm afraid however she will think I'm weird and tell me I should stop giving in to these desires and would have to start seeing her or some other psychologist to cure me of these desires. And my biggest fear of all is that there is a cure and I absolutely don't want to be cured. Well that's enough about Shawn and myself. You have a pretty good idea of what we're like and a little about how we got this way. I guess I'll next give you some more history about us before and after the accident. -- Chapter Two -- I was 15 and had just barely graduated 8th grade. I was looking forward to a whole summer without school and this year I would have money to help me enjoy it. My aunt, mother's sister, had a new job and her job's hours were 12 noon to 9pm. The daycare she left Shawn, my cousin, with closed at 6pm so she needed someone to take care of Shawn from 6 till she got home. I wanted a job so Shawn's mother decided to give me a job taking care of Shawn. This was like the perfect job. I was able to play all day and then at quarter to 6 I'd walk to the daycare, just outside the sub-development, and get Shawn. We would then walk to my house where my mother would make our dinner. After dinner I would take care of Shawn which really meant Shawn and I would play together. Since I was taking care of him, Shawn usually chose what we were going to play. If the weather was nice we usually went to the park where Shawn would play with his friends or with me if they weren't around. Most of the time I would join in their games. We would play tag, hide and go seek, make forts in the sand box and play on the swings and slide. I really enjoyed playing with Shawn and his friends and since I was the biggest kid I was really popular. On rainy days we would usually go to Shawn's house to play since that's where all his toys were. At 8 o'clock, Shawn's bedtime, I would start getting him ready for bed. If it had been a nice day out Shawn would almost always be filthy so I would have to give him a bath. A bath for Shawn consisted of putting him in a tub full of bubbles and a small fleet of toys. Most of the dirt on him was left to soak off and I'd scrub any body parts that were particularly dirty, like feet and knees. If his hair was real dirty I would wash that too. Getting his hair washed was the only part of a bath that Shawn didn't like so I rarely washed it. Shawn's evening bath was mainly to get him clean enough to go to bed. Shawn's mother would usually give him a real bath every morning so he would be clean and smell nice for daycare. After his bath I would get Shawn ready for bed. Since Shawn still wet the bed every night I would get his night diapers ready for him while he was in the tub. After drying him off I would lift him into his crib and onto his diapers. After sprinkling on baby powder I would pin on his diapers and pull his plastic pants onto his feet. I would then stand him up and slide his plastic pants over his diapers, making sure all of his diaper was covered. After his diaper I would put him in a clean T-shirt and tuck him in. After tucking him in and saying goodnight I would go into the den to watch TV until Shawn's mom would get home. Most nights however, Shawn would waddle in the den to tell me he couldn't sleep or that monsters were about to get him. The first week I would take him back to his room and scare the monster back into the closet and pretend to lock them in, then sit with him until he fell asleep. After the first week I stopped scarring monsters and would instead get his blanket and pillow and he would lay next to me on the sofa while I watched TV. After he fell asleep I would carry him back to his room and put him back into his crib. After a few weeks Shawn stopped giving me stories about monsters and would just come in the den carrying his blanket, pillow and a stuffed toy, climb on the sofa and go to sleep with his head next to my lap. Soon after I'd take his sleeping form back into his room and put him in his crib. After a few days of this I fell asleep before I took Shawn back to his room. Shawn's mom woke me up and we carried Shawn back to his room. After we were back in the den I told Shawn's mom that I was sorry for not putting Shawn to bed properly. I thought she would be mad but she told me that Shawn was hard to put to bed and that she didn't really care where he went to sleep as long as he went to sleep. After that, Shawn's mom would usually come home to see me watching TV with Shawn sleeping beside me. I really enjoyed taking care of Shawn. I like playing with him, his friends and his toys. I enjoyed being his babysitter or more accurately his big brother. I also liked his diapers. I enjoyed putting him in his diapers at night. His thick diaper under his plastic pants looked so cute and I loved the way he waddled when he walked. I liked the whomp noise his diapers made when I smacked him on his puffy bottom. Many nights when I carried him back to his bed I would feel that his diapers were already wet. He had wet in his sleep but the sofa had stayed dry, only his diapers were wet. I really wished that things I slept on stayed dry too. You see, Shawn was 5 and wore diapers to bed because he wet the bed, but I was 15 so I couldn't wear diapers to bed even though I wet my bed every night too. My mom said there weren't plastic pants big enough to fit me and besides I was just too old to wear diapers. I had not worn diapers since I was 12 even though I had continued to wet my bed every night. I had a plastic sheet and big soaker pad on my bed to keep the mattress dry and soak up the river I peed every night. I would wake up every night to a wet cold bed and have to move over to the other side or bottom of the bed to get off the wet spot so I could get back to sleep. My bed would be allowed to dry during the day but if it didn't I'd start the night in a cold clammy bed. I really wished I could have diapers like Shawn. I wanted to wake up in a dry bed. I wanted a room that didn't always stink. I wanted to be able to have friends over without them seeing my pee soaked stinky bed. I wanted diapers and plastic pants. -- Chapter Three -- About a month after I started taking care of Shawn it happened. Shawn was sleeping on the sofa as usual. There hadn't been anything good on TV so I had gotten bored and fallen asleep. I was woken up by Shawn's mom, like several time before, but something was different. When I got up to carry Shawn back to his room I felt a cold draft and looked down to see that my pants were wet. I was going to try to hide my wet pants with Shawn's blanket but when I turned around to get it I saw a huge pee stain on the sofa. I turned back around to see Shawn's mom staring at me. I burst into tears. Through my tears I was trying to tell Shawn's mom that I was sorry, I'll clean it up, I didn't mean to, it'll never happen again. She continued to look at me and just said "Let's put Shawn to bed." Shawn had woken up and was looking around trying to figure out what was wrong and why I was crying. Shawn then noticed that my jeans were wet and looked at me saying "David why are you crying, why are your pants wet, did you wet your pants?" I didn't say anything but just reached down and picked up Shawn and took him into his room and put him in his crib. Shawn's mom then told me to go into den and that she would be in after she tucked Shawn into bed, to talk to me. A few minutes later Shawn's mom came back into the den. I had stopped crying but was very scared about what was going to happen next. I burst out, "I'm sorry Mrs. Hanson I'll pay to clean the sofa." Mrs. Hanson looked at me then the sofa then back at me. I continued, "It was an accident I didn't mean to." Mrs. Hanson looked at me some more and then said, "I'm sure you didn't. Why do you think it happened?" "I don't know." She looked me in the eye, "Are you sure you don't know?" I looked at the floor not wanting to look at her. I didn't know what to say. Then after what seemed forever she said, "Do you wet in your sleep?" I was up to this point only inches from starting to cry again and the tears started up as I said, "Yes, I wet my bed every night." Mrs. Hanson said, "Don't worry I won't tell anyone and I'm sure Shawn won't remember anything that happened tonight." She then led me into the kitchen and sat me down at the table and went to the fridge and got some milk. As she poured a glass she asked, "Why didn't you wear your diapers if you thought you might fall asleep tonight? You know tonight isn't the first time I found you asleep on the sofa. Why did you wear diapers those other nights and not tonight?" "I didn't wear diapers those other times. I didn't know I'd fall asleep, and I didn't think I'd wet my pants sitting on the sofa either." "Well from now on I think it would be a good idea if you wore your diapers and plastic pants when you're here in case you fall asleep on the sofa again." "But I don't have any diapers." I cried. Mrs. Hanson gave me the glass of milk and gave me a long look. "Didn't you say you wet your bed every night?" "Yes." "How do you keep yourself and your bed dry?" I told her about the plastic sheet, the soaker pad and what I did when I woke up wet. I told her everything. Mrs. Hanson asked "Don't you want to wear diapers to keep you and your bed dry?" "Yes, I wish I wore diapers like Shawn but my mom said I'm too old for diapers and they don't make plastic pants big enough for me anyway." Mrs. Hanson looked at me as I took a drink of milk and asked, "If there were diapers and plastic pants in you size would you be willing to wear them to bed." "Yes." I finished my milk and followed her into the den. She told me to wait and she went into another room and brought back a bathrobe and told me to take off my pants and underwear. I asked why. "So, I can put them in the dryer so they will be dry when you go home and your mother won't know about your little accident." "You mean you aren't going to tell my mom?" "No." "What about the sofa?" "While your pants are drying you and I will clean the cushion and everything will be as if your accident never happened. Ok?" "Ok." "Tomorrow you need to be sure not to fall asleep on the sofa and when I come home you and I will find a solution to your problem. Ok?" I said "Ok." but I didn't know what kind of solution we could find. We finished cleaning the cushion and when my pants were dry I got dressed and went home. I went to sleep trying to figure out a solution to my falling asleep at Shawn's. I didn't want to be fired but I knew I would probably fall asleep again and if I wet the sofa again Shawn's mom would definitely be mad and would probably fire me. What I didn't know was that Mrs. Hanson wasn't thinking of a solution to keep me from falling asleep but something to keep me dry in case I did. -- Chapter Four -- The next day I slept late, watched some TV and rode my bike around the neighborhood. I didn't want to get tired out during the day so I wouldn't have any trouble staying awake that night. At quarter to six I went to the daycare to get Shawn. After supper Shawn and I went to the park. Shawn's friends were there so I just watched from the shade of a tree. I didn't join in except a for a short game of jump on the big kid which I didn't really have a choice in. At seven we went back to Shawn's house. We then watched a little TV after which I got Shawn ready for bed. After putting Shawn in his diapers and plastic pants I carried his blanket and pillow into the den and he followed with his stuffed bunny. Shawn laid down on the sofa and I put a Disney move in the VCR. My plan was to keep Shawn awake by watching a cartoon and thus insure that I stayed awake. It was a good plan but Shawn didn't cooperate, within 15 minutes he had fallen asleep and I soon followed. Shawn's mom woke me and I nearly jumped straight off the sofa. As I realized I had been asleep fear washed over me. I looked at the sofa and then at my pants and was relieved that both the sofa and I were dry. I took Shawn into his room and put him to bed while his mom waited in the den for me to return. Shawn had already wet his diapers and I was tempted to change him in order to delay returning to the den. I knew Shawn's night diapers were extra thick to keep him dry all night and I was afraid his mom would get mad if I delayed to long especially after falling asleep when she warned me not to. So, I just tucked Shawn in and returned to the den. When I returned to the den Mrs. Hanson was on the sofa and she patted the space beside her so I went over and sat down beside her. She didn't look mad but had a look of concern instead. She said, "You fell asleep again, even when I told you not to." Looking down at my shoes I hesitated answering but finally said "Yes, but I tried not to, I'm sorry" "I know you did, you couldn't help it, just like you can't help wetting when you sleep." She lifted my head so I had to look at her face and she said "I have a solution to your problem if you're brave enough to try it." "You have a way to keep me from falling asleep?" "No, I have a way to keep you dry if you fall asleep and wet your pants again." "How?" Mrs. Hanson got up saying "Wait here a minute and I'll show you." and she left the room. When she returned she had a bag with "Avery Medical Supplies" written on the side. She pulled out a small plastic package that said "Gerber Youth Incontinent Pants". She opened the package and pulled out the biggest pair of plastic pants I had ever seen. My eyes went wide as I stared at the plastic pants. I said "What are those for?" "These are plastic pants just like Shawn wears but they are in your size, now stand up so I can see if they are going to fit you." I stood up and she held the plastic pants in front of me. "I need to check if they are close to the right size because I can't return them once you try them on." They looked like they were big enough for two of me. "They're too big", I said. "No, once you have on diapers they should be ok. Bigger is better, in case you have to wear extra thick nighttime diapers." "Diapers? I told you I don't have diapers." "Remember when I asked if you wanted to wear diapers for your bedwetting and you said yes." "Yes, but mommy said I'm too old." "No you're not too old. Babies wear diapers and plastic pants because they can't keep from wetting their pants and bedding, you still wet your pants and bed when you sleep, so you're not too old for diapers and you should wear diapers every night." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I had thought I wanted to wear diapers and I really liked Shawn's diapers and the way they kept him dry at night but to have to wear diapers every night. I said "Only babies wear diapers and I'm not a baby." Mrs. Hanson looked at me with concern and sat me back down on the sofa. "David, you're not a baby if you wear diapers. Shawn wears diapers and he's not a baby, is he?" "No, but he's only 5 and I'm 15." Mrs. Hanson took my hand and I looked into her face full of concern as she said "But you both wet the bed so you both need diapers to keep you dry. There are lots of children who still wet their beds." As I started to cry again, I screamed "But none as old as me!" "Who told you that?" "My mom." "Well she's wrong!" She looked angry as she said "There are lots of children your age and older who still we the bed. There are even adults who still wet the bed." "Adults?" "Yes, adults. There are even children and adults who wet their pants during the day." Mrs. Hanson sounded mad and I was afraid she was mad at me. I was really crying now and was unable to say anything through my tears. She looked at me and her expression changed. She took me in her arms and hugged me as she said "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." I cried for a while and when I stopped she didn't look mad anymore, but I was still scared. I said, "Why were you mad?" "I wasn't mad, I was just upset that you and your mom weren't told that children your age and older wet their beds too. It wasn't fare for you to think that there was something wrong with you because you're 15 and still wet the bed. You should have been told that you weren't alone." I wasn't scared anymore and asked about something she said while I was crying. "If there are children that wet their pants during the day why haven't I seen anyone wet their pants since I was in second grade?" "Because those children wear diapers and plastic pants everyday so they don't wet their pants. They wear diapers under their pants and dresses so no one knows when they have an accident. They wet their diapers instead of their underpants and panties and no one ever knows." I pulled away from Mrs. Hanson and she looked me in the eye and said "These children couldn't play outside if they didn't wear diapers. They would wet their pants all the time and be made fun of. They wear diapers because they have a problem and they are not babies. You have a bedwetting problem and you should wear diapers but you're not a baby just because you wear diapers." I was starting to understand. I never knew so many people had problems like me and so many people had to wear diapers. "I understand now that I should wear diapers and it doesn't make me a baby if I do but, I don't have any diapers." "Yes you do." Mrs. Hanson reached into the bag again and pulled out several white packages. As she placed them on the coffee table she said, "Now that you understand you need to wear diapers it's very important that you wear diapers when you take care of Shawn at night so you won't wet your pants or sofa again. Whether you wear them to bed at night is up to you and your mother." As she opened the packages and unfolded the diapers I saw that they were twice as big as Shawn's. I was confused so I asked, "I have to wear these diapers when I take care of Shawn?" "Yes, I don't want a repeat of the sofa incident. You can put them on while Shawn takes his bath so he doesn't have to know." "When I come home you can either change back into your underpants or wear your diapers home to sleep in and if you wet your diaper here you can change into a dry diaper before you go home." "What do I do if I wet the diaper at night? What about my mom?" "If you want to wear your diapers to bed you can bring your wet diapers and plastic pants back here and I'll wash them. We'll keep your wearing diapers a secret until you decide you want to talk to your mom." With that Mrs. Hanson got up grabbing 3 diapers and a pair of plastic pants. "Come on let's make sure these diapers fit you." "What!, now?" "Yes, now. We need to see if they fit ok and I need to show you how to put them on. It's a little different diapering yourself." We went into her bedroom and as she laid the 3 diapers on the bed she said, "You need to take off your shorts while I go get some diapers pins from Shawn's room. You can leave your underpants on if you want but if you do they'll get wet along with your diapers." As she went into Shawn's room I pulled off my shorts. I was embarrassed to be naked but Mrs. Hanson had already seen me without my underpants when I had the accident and at least this time my underpants were dry. When Mrs. Hanson came back in she was carrying a handful of diaper pins and a container of baby powder. She told me to lay down on the diapers. "Ok David, I'm going to diaper you and show you how to do it." "But I already know how to put on diapers, I diaper Shawn all the time." "That's different. You're a lot bigger and so are your diapers. Now lay flat and I'll show you how to put on your diapers." I did as I was told and she started diapering me. I thought, diapers might not only be for babies but as I was being diapered I sure felt like one. She said, "First use a little powder just like you do with Shawn. Then make sure the diaper is high above your waist in the back. Then pull up the front twisting it in the middle between your legs." As she pulled the front up I could see how thick it was between my legs. "It's to thick, Shawn's diaper isn't this thick." "Shawn isn't as big as you and based on what I saw when you wet the sofa you wet a lot more that he does. Your diapers have to be thick enough to absorb everything or your diapers will leak and your bed or whatever you're sleeping on will get wet." She continued, "Now make sure the front is straight and then wrap a front corner around your waist. Then take the same side's back corner and pull it around the front. Now pull it tight and pin it at the top like this. Then do the same thing on the other side." She had wrapped the diaper around me really tight. I said, "It's too tight." "No it's not. It has to be tight or there will be gaps and your diaper will leak. As you move around it will loosen up." I started to get up but she said, "We're not finished yet. To keep gaps from forming around the legs you need to put another diaper pin at the leg. Now pull it tight around the leg and pin it. And now we do the other side." "Ok now stand up and we'll put on your plastic pants." I stood up and found it wasn't as tight but much more snug then my regular underpants. I also found that I had to stand with my legs slightly apart due to how thick my diaper was between the legs. As she handed me the plastic pants she said, "Ok, now pull on the plastic pants. Make sure the tag is at the back." I looked for the tag and found it. It had "GERBER" written on it along with a picture of the Gerber baby. At the top of the tag was written "MEDIUM". I said "These pants are just like Shawn's but he wears toddler extra large and these say medium are they going to fit me." "Yes, I told you they were just like Shawn's. And yes they'll fit because Shawn still wears baby sized plastic pants and these are youth sized plastic pants. Now pull them on so we can make sure they fit ok." I put my legs through the openings and pulled them up over my diapers. Mrs. Hanson said, "Now make sure all the diaper is tucked inside the plastic pants. If any diaper is sticking out you'll leak." With all this talk of leaks I was beginning to feel like a leaky pipe. Mrs. Hanson checked my work and seemed satisfied. I felt like I had on a dozen pairs of underpants covered by a balloon. Mrs. Hanson said, "Ok now take them off and we'll see if you can put them back on yourself." I pulled off the plastic pants, then unpinned the diapers. As I removed the past pin the diaper fell off and I picked it up and put it back on the bed. I smoothed it out and laid back down on the diaper. I then proceeded to follow the steps Mrs. Hanson had used to diaper me. When I finished and stood up and Mrs. Hanson inspected my work. She said "Acceptable, it'll keep you dry and you'll get better with practice. Now pull on your plastic pants." When I finished checking to make sure all the diaper was tucked in Mrs. Hanson said, "Now I want you put a diaper on every night before you put Shawn to bed. I will leave a clean diaper, plastic pants and diaper pins here on my bed for you everyday. OK?" "Ok." "Now, the only thing left to answer is do you want to change back into your underpants and sleep in a wet bed tonight or do you want to try out your new diapers tonight." I looked at myself in her full length mirror. I looked just like Shawn in his diaper and T-shirt. I wanted to wear them, not waking up in a wet bed would be nice, but they were so big. I said, "I want to wear my diapers but they are so big, my mom might notice." "Don't worry, let's put your shorts on and see if your diapers are noticeable." I started to put my on underpants but Mrs. Hanson said I didn't need them and could leave them here. I pulled on my shorts and looked in the mirror. My shorts were puffed out all over. I said, "I can tell I have on a diaper, mom will notice." "Here, untuck your shirt and pull it over your shorts and she'll never notice." I did as she said but I could still see a huge bulge in the front and back of my shorts. I wanted to wear them but I knew my mom would find out and be mad. I started to cry." Mrs. Hanson knelt down and gave me a hug and patted my thickly diapered bottom, it sounded like a bass drum. She said, "Don't worry, I can barely tell and that's only because I know what I'm looking for, your mom will never notice. Just go home and straight to bed, everything will be fine." I stopped crying and she led me to the front door. She gave me a hug, turned me around and gave me a pat on my diapered bottom to send me on my way. She Said, "Everything will be ok. Bring your wet diaper back tomorrow evening and don't forget to put on a diaper before you put Shawn to bed. I'll be very mad if I find you without a diaper on when I come home." As I waddled home, it was really hard to walk in thick diapers, I waved back and thought I heard her giggle as she closed the front door. -- Chapter Five -- When I got home I saw mom and dad in the den watching TV. I said hi and told them I was tired and was going straight to bed. They said goodnight and I went to my room. I was really nervous my parents were going to notice my diapers. Despite what Mrs. Hanson had said I was convinced that anyone could tell I had on diapers from a mile away and on the walk home I could hear a whoosh whoosh noise with my every step. But I was home now and I got ready for bed. I took off my shorts and T-shirt and went to my mirror to look at my diapers. I looked just like Shawn. My diapers looked huge and I could see the white cotton through my plastic pants. I could see the yellow diaper pins too. The plastic pants were really baggy but the waist and leg bands were snug. I guess Mrs. Hanson was right, bigger is better, although I didn't want to think about wearing a diaper big enough to fill these plastic pants. When I sat on the bed to take off my socks my plastic pants blew up like a balloon. I lifted the waist band to let out the trapped air and looked at my diapers. They were bright white and really soft. They were held on by 4 yellow diaper pins and were really thick. There were inch thick folds of diaper material and where the diaper went between my legs it was so thick I couldn't put my legs completely together. I let the waist band snap back in place and felt my diapers through my plastic pants. The plastic pants were super soft and smooth, they felt really cool. I didn't know why but I liked the way my diapers and plastic pants felt. I removed my socks and went to turn off my light. As I walked I could hear that whoosh whoosh sound again. I turned off the light and crawled in to bed. I went to sleep wondering if these diapers would really work and if I would wake up in a dry bed. I didn't wake up until morning and the sun was shinning in my eyes. I lay there a minute waking up and then remembered the diapers. I felt the bed and it was dry. I also couldn't remember waking up in the night to move off the wet spot. I had dry nights every now and then so I thought I must not have wet, . I then put my hand on my plastic pants. The diapers underneath felt different. I lifted up the waist band and felt the diapers underneath. They were soaked and they stank. My diapers worked, my diapers were wet and smelly but my bed was dry and mostly not smelly, after all I had wet it every night since last Friday. I got out of bed and went to the mirror to look and my diapers again. Now they were a dull yellow through the plastic pants. They hung low in the back and were very loose. I felt the back of my diapers, they were kind of squishy and it felt and looked like I had filled my diapers. I kind of liked the way the wet diapers felt. The diapers were getting cold so I decided it was time to take them off. I pulled back the waist band of the plastic pants and started removing the diaper pins. The two pins at the legs came out easy but when I opened the one at the waist I couldn't get it out. I pulled and pulled but it wouldn't come out. I closed the pin and tried to think of a solution but I couldn't think of one. I couldn't ask my mom for help and Mrs. Hanson would already be on her way to work so she couldn't help. I couldn't wear the wet diapers all day for lots of reasons, so I had to get them off. I opened the pin and tried again but it wouldn't budge. I then noticed how tight the diaper was and how it pulled on the diaper pin so I sucked in my stomach and tried again and the pin came loose. The last pin came out fairly easily. I got the old grocery bag Mrs. Hanson had given me to put the wet diaper in. I slid off the diaper and plastic pants as one and put them in the bag. Then I closed the diaper pins and put them in the bag too. I squeezed out the air in the bag and tied it shut. Then I put the bag in my bottom drawer. My first night in diapers had been a success. My bed was dry and nobody knew about my diapers. I then took a shower and dressed for the day like I did everyday. The only change was I put on my largest pair of pull on shorts and longest T-shirt. That done I went to eat breakfast and then out to play. I went to get Shawn as usual and after eating we went back to his house because a summer storm was moving in. I ran Shawn's bath telling him once he was ready for bed we would watch a movie. I put him in his bath and then went to his mom's room. On the bed was a new diaper folded and ready for me to put on. I also noticed the plastic pants were different. These were as big as the others had been but these had little bunnies and teddy bears on them. There were also four blue diaper pins and for the first time I noticed the plastic part was shaped like little bunnies. I liked the plastic pants and diaper pins but I felt uncomfortable with their juvenile appearance and wondered if other children my age also wore plastic pants with bunnies on them. I guess they weren't any different than my Batman underpants I wore sometimes. I wondered if there were Batman plastic pants too. I went back to Shawn's room to get the container of baby powder and to put the wet diaper and plastic pants from the previous night into Shawn's diaper pail. I thought, if I start wearing diapers every night at home I would have to get a diaper pail too. If my bed was kept dry I could get rid of the plastic sheet and my room wouldn't stink anymore. I could finally invite friends to my house to play. But where would I keep the diaper pail so my friends wouldn't see it. I would also have to find a safe place for the baby powder, diaper pins and wipes too I guessed. I wouldn't want one of my friends finding a diaper pail full of wet diapers in my room. I was an only child so there wouldn't be any doubt who's diapers they were. I checked on Shawn and went back to his mom's room. I took my shorts and underpants off and positioned myself on the thick stack of diapers. I then repeated the steps Mrs. Hanson had taught me for putting on my diapers. When I was finished diapering myself I put on my plastic pants and checked to be sure my diapers were tucked in. I had done a better job this time and the diapers were snug around the waist and legs and didn't droop. I went to the mirror to admire my work. My diapers were as thick as the day before. I looked like Donald Duck, I even waddled when I walked. The day before I had looked like an extra large version of Shawn but today with the bunny and bear plastic pants I looked even more like a toddler then he did. I put on my shorts and looked in the mirror to see how noticeable the were. I lifted my T-shirt and saw that in the back there was about two inches of diaper and plastic pant showing above the waist band of my shorts. I tried pulling my shorts up higher but when the diaper at my waist was covered my diaper showed through the leg openings. Since my T- shirt covered my waist I pulled my shorts back down to limit the amount of diaper showing through the leg holes. It also looked like I had a tire around my waist under my shorts but my T-shirt covered most of this. With my diapers as hidden as possible, I waddled in to get Shawn out of the bath. I was going to have to learn to walk normally in diapers, if possible. I dried Shawn off and then led him into his room. I diapered him and put a blue pair of plastic pants over his diapers, I wondered if I could get plastic pants in colors too. I put him in a clean T-shirt, got his blanket and pillow and carried them back into the den, he followed with his stuffed bunny. I left him to pick out what movie he wanted to watch while I went into the kitchen to make popcorn and fix us each a soft drink. Another thing I could look forward to if I started wearing diapers was being able to have fluids after eight. By order of mom I was supposed to limit my fluids after 6pm and was not to have anything to drink after 8pm. The idea was to limit the amount of pee I produced at night. It seemed to be a good idea but it was hard to go 3 hours without anything to drink so I usually sneaked water when I flushed the toilet so it usually didn't work. Being able to have a soft drink with popcorn or other snacks was worth the embarrassment of wearing diapers. When I returned to the den Shawn had the movie picked out and was lying on his blanket on the floor. He was on his stomach facing the TV, elbows on his pillow with his fluffy diapered butt sticking up in the air. I wondered if that was what I would look like. I decided I would just sit on the floor beside him instead. I bent over turned on the TV and VCR and put the tape in. The movie started and Shawn and I got down to the business of watching the move and eating popcorn. During the movie we finished the popcorn and I paused the tape and got us another soft drink. We moved to the sofa to watch the rest of the movie. The movie was followed by a Donald Duck cartoon with Chip & Dale. It seemed the perfect cartoon to watch with Shawn and I in diapers that made us look and walk like Donald. Shawn didn't make it through the cartoon so I carried him into his room. I noticed his diaper was already wet and decided to change it since he had had a lot to drink during the movie and I didn't want his diaper to leak. I pulled down his plastic pants and removed his wet diaper. I then re-diapered him and pulled his plastic pants back up. He never woke. I went back into the den and flipped channels looking for something to watch. Mrs. Hanson woke me when she got home. She asked if everything was ok and I said it was. She then asked, "Are you wearing your diapers like I asked?" I was embarrassed but answered, "Yes." "Good, are you wet?" Now I was really embarrassed. Not only because she had asked such an embarrassing question but because I didn't know and didn't want to check with her here. I thought about just saying no but decided to tell her the truth, "I don't know." "That's ok but we better check before you go home. Pull down your shorts and we'll check." I must have turned seven shades of red because she said, "Don't be embarrassed. If you're wet I want to see how wet you are to see if your diapers are thick enough to last the night." I stood there an minute and then slowly pulled my shorts down. She then said, "Lift up your T-shirt." I complied and she bent down to examine my diapers. I had closed my eyes unable to look, fearing the worst, that I had wet them. I then felt her pull at the leg opening and tug on the diaper. She then broke the news to me. "You're wet but not bad. Do you want to change into underpants or a dry diaper?" I was speechless. I was 15 and had just had my diaper checked like I checked Shawn's. I was so embarrassed that I couldn't say anything. Mrs. Hanson said, "It's ok, step out of your shorts and follow me to my room. I'll get that wet diaper off you and you can decide whether you want a new diaper for tonight." As we walked into her room she asked, "Did you wet your diaper last night?" I stammered "Yes." "Did it keep your bed dry?" "Yes." "Good. Where is it?" "I put it in Shawn's diaper pail." "Good." When we got to her room she said, "Ok, let's get that wet diaper off you." She then pulled down my plastic pants and said "Ok, step out of your plastic pants and I'll unpin your diapers." She quickly pulled the four pins out and my diaper fell away. I shivered when air hit my wet skin and she said, "You were wetter than I thought. You stand here while I get rid of this diaper and get some wipes to clean you up." When she returned she cleaned my diaper area and told me I would need to do this every morning or I would stink and possibly get a rash. I told her I usually took a shower in the morning because of my bedwetting and she said that would do. She finished cleaning me up and got a new batch of diapers for me. She asked "Well what's it going to be. Do you want another diaper?" I finally opened my eyes and answered "Yes." "Ok, hop up on the diaper and I'll get you ready for bed." I didn't ask why she was diapering me and just climbed up and laid down on my diapers. As she diapered me she asked, "Did every thing go ok with your diapers last night." "Yes, but." "But what!" All these questions about my diapers and being diapered too was making me uncomfortable. I needed to ask about the stuck pin problem I had had that morning but was embarrassed. Finally the fear of it happening again and being stuck in a wet diaper the whole day forced me into asking. "This morning when I was taking off my diaper... ugh... I couldn't get one of the pins out." "That will happen sometimes when the diaper is real wet. If it happens again, try removing the pin on the other side first. If that one won't come out either, you will need twist the diaper pin back and forth and it should slide out. Once one side is out the other diaper pin should come out easily. How did you get the pin out this morning?" "I sucked in my stomach and then the pin came out." "That works too." She had finished diapering me and she handed me the same plastic pants I had worn earlier. "I asked, "Why do these pants have animals on them." "I noticed your Underoos yesterday and thought you might like something other than plain white." "Oh, thanks." "All done?" "Yes." "Ok, get you shorts on. It's time you got home." I put my shorts on and arranged my shirt and shorts to best hide my diapers. We walked to the front door and she opened the door. I hesitated and then turned around and gave Mrs. Hanson a hug. "What's that for." "For not firing me for wetting you sofa and getting me diapers and helping me with my bedwetting." "I wouldn't have fired you, you do a very good job taking care of Shawn and he really likes you. I don't know what I would do without you. If you hadn't agreed to diapers I would have found another solution, even if it had meant putting a plastic cover on the sofa. Now you better get home." With that, she gave me a pat on my bottom and I started walking home. As I walked home I thought about the past 2 days. I had wet the last two times I had slept and both times my pants and bed had stayed dry. I had had soda after eight and was not worried about wetting my bed tonight. I was getting used to the idea of wearing a diaper and plastic pants to bed and looked forward to all the things I would be able to do now that I wasn't going to wet the bed anymore. The only thing I had left to do was work up the nerve to tell mom and dad that I was wearing diapers. It was still early when I got home so I sat down and watched some TV with mom and dad. I was nervous about them noticing my diapers but they were busy watching the movie. After the movie my parents got up to go to bed. My mom kissed me goodnight and told me not to stay up to late. I watched a little TV and then decided to go to bed. I was thirsty so I had a big glass of water, I wasn't worried, my diapers would keep the bed dry. I went to my room, took my shorts and shirt off and crawled into bed confident that my diapers would keep me warm and dry no matter how much I wet during the night. It turned out that wasn't the case. -- Chapter Six -- The next morning I woke to sunshine in my eyes. This was the second night in a row that I had slept the whole night without waking in the middle of the night to a wet bed. I was so tired of waking in a soaked bed. Many nights the only way I could find a dry place in the bed was to put my pillow on the wet spot and sleep at the bottom half of the bed. This allowed me to fall back asleep but I would wake up stiff from having slept all bunched up at the bottom of my bed. Some nights I would wet again and then be left with nowhere to sleep. These nights I would lay on part of my blanket to keep off the wet spots while trying to leave enough blanket to cover up with to keep warm. If I was lucky I would fall asleep before the pee soaked through the blanket. On these mornings, my bed and all the bed clothes, sheets, blankets and pillows, would be soaked and I would be stiff, wet and exhausted from lack of a good night's sleep. This morning however I felt great because I had had a good nights sleep. Diapers were great. I flipped the sheets and blankets off and that was when I found out everything wasn't as great as I had thought. I felt a cold draft. I turned over and looked at my bed and found it was wet all the way up to my pillow and my T-shirt was soaked, too. I felt my diapers and found that they were soaked. I even found pee had collected in the plastic pants between my legs as I knelt looking at my bed. I felt around the rest of my plastic pants and found a small amount of diaper above the waist band in the back. Then when I looked at the bed again I saw that the space where my butt had been was dry and then it was wet again a little way down where my legs had been. The diapers hadn't worked. They were not able to absorb all the pee I had produced during the night and had leaked, big time. The only good thing was that they had worked well enough to keep me dry most of the night and allow me to get a good night's sleep. My dreams of dry beds and allowing friends in my room had washed away on a river of pee. I sat on the edge of the bed and began to take the pins out of my diapers. As I struggled with each pin I silently began crying. The sleepovers and camping trips I had dreamed of were only for big boys not baby bedwetters like me. I was such a big baby that even diapers couldn't keep my bed dry. I finished taking the pins out, stood up and slid off my diapers and plastic pants. They were so wet they dripped on the floor and when I looked at where I had been sitting I saw a big wet spot. I put the diapers and pants into a plastic bag and then took off my T-shirt and used it to dry the floor. I left the wet shirt on the floor and put the plastic bag with my wet diapers in a drawer. I then went to take a shower. It was Friday so when I got out of the shower my mom told me to strip my bed. At least I wouldn't have to sleep on a damp bed tonight. I stripped the bed and took my bed clothes and wet T-shirt to the laundry room and loaded them into the washer. Mom had set the washer to pre-soak so when I pulled out the knob the washer began filling. Mom would do everything else so I went back to my room to finish getting dressed. I didn't feel like doing anything so I had a little breakfast and went to the den to watch TV. After a while mom came in vacuuming so I went outside and got on my bike. I wanted to think about how much my life sucked and I didn't want anyone around while I did it, so I rode out of town and away from anyone who might bother me. At quarter to six as usual I got home and walked down to get Shawn. We went home to eat and then Shawn wanted to go to the park. I hadn't finished feeling sorry for myself yet and didn't want to go but it was a sunny cool day and Shawn was boss so I followed him to the park. Several of Shawn's friends were there and he went off to play. I went over to sit on the swings so I could keep an eye on Shawn and continue to mope. As I sat kicking the dirt below the swing one of Shawn's friends came over and sat down on the swing beside me. I continued kicking dirt but still noticed he wasn't having any success swinging. He wasn't tall enough to push off and his rocking back and forth wasn't doing any good. I had seen the boy playing with Shawn and remembered his name to be Eric. He seemed to be about Shawn's age and very shy, in fact I couldn't remember him playing with anyone but Shawn. As I was thinking about Eric I was startled when he called my name. "David!" "Huh?" "Are you busy?" I wanted to say, yes I'm busy keeping this swing warm but didn't. What did he think I was doing on the swing. I said "No, I'm just watching Shawn... Why aren't you playing with him?" "They're playing with cars and I don't have any. I wanted to swing." "Oh." Eric continued to rock the swing without any success making it actually swing. He said, "David?" "Yes." "Can you push me, I can't make the swing work." I turned to look at him, ready to tell him no, but once I looked at his pleading expression I caved and said, "Ok." I got out of my swing and went over to his. "Ok. hang on tight." I then pulled him back and let go and he squealed with excitement. He swung back and I began pushing him higher. I continued pushing him at about the same height when he yelled "Higher!" As I had pushed him he had been sliding forward on the swing with each push and was now just barely on the seat. I said, "Ok, but you have to stop first so I can put you back on the seat." With that I grabbed the swing and pulled it to a stop with Eric almost falling out of the swing. I then grabbed Eric and slid him back into the seat. That was when I saw them. As I pulled him back his shorts stuck on the swing's seat and pulled down a few inches. What I now saw was the waist band of a pair of yellow plastic pants and about two inches of diaper showing above them. Eric didn't notice so I started pushing his swing again. I pushed him higher and higher until he was swinging over my head. I continued pushing him every few passes to maintain his height. As I pushed I thought about a boy Shawn's age having to wear diapers during the day. Shawn wore them at night and I needed to wear them at night too, but Eric was wearing them during the day. I was able to keep my bedwetting a secret and even my wearing diapers. Shawn's diapers were never spoken about away from home so I doubted that anyone knew he wet the bed or wore diapers. But Eric was wearing them during the day, how could he keep his diapers a secret. Now I knew why he was so shy. I pushed him on the swing for a while, thinking about my wetting problems and how they didn't seem so bad now. After a while I noticed Shawn's friends were leaving and Shawn was coming over to the swings. I stopped pushing Eric and let his swinging slow down then stopped his swing. I went around in front of Eric to help him off the swing. As I bent down to lift him off, I saw his yellow plastic pants and thick diapers through the leg holes of his shorts. By the way his diapers looked, I was pretty sure they were wet. I put him down and pulled his plastic pants up over his diapers and then pulled his shorts up to cover his plastic pants. I then arranged his shirt to cover his short's waist band. I said, "Did you enjoy swinging?" "Uh-huh, I never went that high before. Thank you David for pushing me." "You're welcome, maybe next time I'll teach you how to make the swing work." "That would be neat, thank you" Shawn had reached us by then and he said hi to Eric. I said, "Eric, Shawn and I have to go home now but maybe we'll see you tomorrow." Eric and Shawn said good bye to each other and Shawn and I walked home. On the way home I asked, "Shawn, why didn't you ask Eric to play with you and your other friends?" "I did but he didn't want to." "Do you know why?" "Uh-huh... I think it's because they make fun of him because he still wears diapers." I stopped walking and turned to look at Shawn. "You didn't make fun of him did you?" "Uh-uh, that wouldn't be nice and he knows I wear diapers at night." "How does he know you wear diapers?" "I saw his baby pants when we were playing in the sand box one time. I asked if he was wearing diapers, too. He started crying and ran off to the swings. I went to him and said I didn't care that he wears diapers and I told him that I wear diapers and baby pants to bed. Since then we have been best friends." We finished walking home as Shawn told me how he had never seen Eric playing with anyone else and how Eric had been to Shawn's house to play several times. By the time we got home I had decided my life didn't suck as bad as I thought it did and was thankful that diapers at least would keep me dry enough at night to get a good night's sleep. When we went inside I told Shawn to get undressed while I got his bath ready. He complained that it was too early and I told him we would have a snack and watch another movie after he was ready for bed. I put Shawn into a bath of bubbles and a fleet of toys. I went to get baby powder from Shawn's room and dropped my previous nights diaper into his diaper pail. I then went to Mrs. Hanson's room to put on my diapers. Just like the night before, there was a stack of three bright white diapers, 4 diaper pins, blue teddy bears this time, and a pair of yellow plastic pants. The plastic pants were just like the ones I had seen sticking out of Eric's shorts. I laid on the stack of diapers and followed the diapering procedure. When I finished I stood and put on the plastic pants. Looking in the mirror at my yellow padded bottom I thought how I must look exactly like Eric did today in his diapers and yellow plastic pants. I also wondered what Eric would think if he knew I was wearing diapers like he and Shawn did. I checked that my diaper was all tucked into my plastic pants and put on my shorts. I then noticed that in my depressed mood this morning I had not chosen clothes that would hide my diapered condition. The shorts were tight and left several inches of diaper showing above the waist band. The T-shirt barely covered the plastic pants and waist band of my shorts. The T-shirt also did nothing to cover the diaper bulge in the front and back of my shorts. There was nothing I could do about my shorts so I tucked in my shirt and went to get Shawn out of the tub. Shawn was mostly clean and I just washed his knees and feet. I helped him out of the tub and gave him a towel. He passed the towel over a few parts of his body and said he was ready. Since he was still 95% wet, I dried him properly and led him to his room. I laid out a stack of diapers and lifted him onto them. I powdered him and pinned on his diapers. Next came plastic pants and a clean T-shirt. I noticed as I led him into the den that I had put a pair of yellow plastic pants on Shawn. Three big boys in diapers and yellow plastic pants in one day. Shawn went to pick out a movie while I put a snack of cookies and milk on a tray. When I returned Shawn was sitting on the floor on his pillow with his stuffed bunny on his blanket beside him. I put the tray in front of Shawn and sat down. Shawn handed me the video tape and I leaned forward to insert it into the VCR. I started the VCR and pushed the fast-forward to get past all the crap at the front of the tape. As I watched for the start of the movie Shawn poked me on the shoulder and said, "David!" "Huh" "Can I ask you something?" "Yea, sure." "Why are you wearing diapers and baby pants like mine?" Panic set in as I remembered about my shorts and shirt. My shirt had come untucked and I tried to pull my shirt down to cover my plastic pants. It was too late now, but I still wanted to hide my diapers. It was no use, my shirt was not long enough to reach the waist band of my plastic pants while I was sitting and the plastic pants were at least two inches above the waist band of my shorts. My diapers were plainly visible and Shawn was looking directly at them. Shawn said, "I don't mind if you wear my diapers so you will not wet the sofa again." Shawn had remembered that I had wet the sofa after all. "I don't mind I have plenty of diapers and mommy says it's good to share." I was so embarrassed and worried, if I couldn't keep Shawn from finding out about my diapers how would I keep it a secret from everyone else. I said, "These aren't your diapers, yours would be too small to fit me. Your mommy bought me my own diapers and plastic pants after I wet my pants and the sofa." "They look just like mine. Why did you wet your pants?" I figured it would be best if I told him about my bedwetting and hope he didn't tell his friends or mention it when we were in public. I said, "I wet when I sleep and I had fallen asleep on the sofa that night." "Do you wet your bed too... like me." "Yes." "That's ok, mommy says that lots of boys wet their beds. I didn't know that boys as big as you did though." "Yes they do. Now you need to keep my wearing diapers and my bedwetting a secret. Ok?" "Ok." "Now let's watch the movie." I looked at the TV and saw the movie was still fast-forwarding. I pushed stop and rewind and re-started the movie. Shawn and I had cookies and milk and watched the movie. When Shawn finished his milk he laid on his blanket and fell asleep before the end of the movie. When the movie finished I carried Shawn back into his room and put him to bed. I went back to the den, cleaned up and then sat down to watch TV until Mrs. Hanson came home. When Mrs. Hanson came in she said good evening and asked if everything was ok. I told her Shawn was in bed and everything was ok. The subject then changed to my diapers. Mrs. Hanson asked, "Did you wet your diapers last night and are you wet now?" I said, "I'm dry, I didn't fall asleep tonight." Then I thought about last night and my wet bed. I was close to crying when I said, "I wet my bed last night but my diapers didn't work. My bed was really wet when I woke up and my diapers were dripping wet." Mrs. Hanson gave me a hug and said, "Don't worry, your diapers worked they just weren't thick enough to absorb the amount you wet last night. What did you have to drink last night?" I thought about last night and said, "I had two glasses of coke here and a large glass of water before I went to bed." "Ok, did you go potty before you went to bed?" "No, How can I with diapers on?" "Just undo one top pin and pull open the top of the diaper you should then be able to go potty. When you're finished re-fasten the diaper. You should go potty every night just before you go to bed." She then took my hand and led me to her room. "Now, take off your diaper." "Why? It's dry." "Because it's not thick enough to keep you dry all night. Since you don't wake up when you wet and there isn't anyone to check your diapers or change you during the night we'll have to put you in a diaper thick enough to last the whole night." I took off my diaper and worried how my shorts were going to fit over an even thicker diaper. I handed Mrs. Hanson my diaper and she took it and flattened it out on the bed. She then left the room and came back with one of Shawn's diapers and took another of my diapers out of one of her dresser drawers. She put Shawn's diaper near the back of the stack of my diapers and then put the fourth diaper of mine on top. When she was finished she said, "Ok hop up and I'll get you diapered." I climbed up and she began re-diapering me. When she pulled the new thicker diaper up I could feel the extra thickness. When she finished pinning the diaper I stood up and she handed me my plastic pants. I pulled them on and found they weren't baggy anymore. I then went to the mirror to check how bad it was. From the front my diaper looked about the same but when I turned around I saw that my butt was huge. It stuck out several inches and there was no way mom and dad weren't going to notice. I said, "It's too thick, my shorts won't be able to hide them, I don't even think they'll fit over this diaper." Mrs. Hanson handed me my shorts and said, "Here put them on and we'll see." I pulled them on. They did fit but they were tight. I looked in the mirror and from the front it wasn't too bad but the back looked like I had stuffed a pillow in my shorts. There was at least three inches of diaper and plastic pant showing above the short's waist band. Mrs. Hanson said "It'll be fine, parents don't notice what children wear as long as it's clean. Just go straight to bed and they'll never notice." "Ok, if you think it'll be ok." "It'll be fine. Now don't forget to go potty before you go to bed, in fact maybe you better go now before you go home." "That's ok, I'll wait till I get home... Well I guess I better go now." "Wait there's one more thing." "What?" "What are you going to do about diapers Saturday and Sunday night?" I had not thought about diapers for the weekend. Mrs. Hanson didn't work weekends so I only took care of Shawn during the week. I wouldn't be here Saturday or Sunday to be diapered. I said, "I don't know!" Mrs. Hanson thought for a minute and then said, "Why don't you come over tomorrow and I'll give you two diapers and plastic pants like you're wearing now and you can take them home to wear over the weekend... That is if you want to wear diapers over the weekend... Do you want to wear diapers over the weekend?" I had to think about this. Did I want to sneak diapers into the house tomorrow and then put them on at home? Where would I hide them? I said, "What about the wet ones?" "Bring your wet diaper from tonight with you tomorrow and then you'll have to bring both of your wet weekend diapers on Monday." I was thinking it might be easier to sneak diapers into the house and put them on at home then to hide my diapered condition coming home. I said, "Yes, I want diapers for the weekend. I'll come over tomorrow afternoon to get the diapers." "Good. Now you better get home." She led me out the door and gave me a couple of pats on my bottom to send me on my way. I didn't feel the pats through the thick diaper but I could hear them. As I waddled home I worried about getting to my room without my diapers being noticed. I was also trying to think of a way I could bring my diapers home every night, then put them on in my room instead of having to come home wearing my diapers. When I went in the house I saw that mom was on the phone in the kitchen and dad was reading the paper. I said hi and that I was going to bed. He continued to read the paper and waved his arm in acknowledgment of my intentions. I hurried to my room. I undressed and got ready for bed. I didn't have to go to the bathroom and didn't want to leave my room again and take a chance mom or dad would see me and notice my diapers so I went to bed. I had just crawled into bed when my mom knocked, opened the door and turned on my light. I quickly pulled up the covers to hide my diapers. She wanted to say goodnight since she was on the phone when I came in. She gave me a kiss on the forehead, said goodnight and left turning off the light and pulling the door closed. My heart was racing. That was so close. How would I have explained the diapers. I knew that eventually I would have to either tell mom about my wearing diapers or I would have to stop wearing them, but for now I would just keep it a secret. I went to sleep hoping the extra thick diapers would keep me dry. -- Chapter Seven -- I woke up Saturday morning about seven. I always tried to get up early on Saturdays, even during the school year, so I could watch Saturday morning cartoons. I had again slept through the night and now wondered if my extra thick diapers had kept me and my bed dry. I tossed off the sheet and got out of bed anxious to find out. I looked the bed over and saw that my bed was dry, really dry. Since my sheets had been changed the day before everything was dry and clean. There were no yellow stains on the sheets or soaker pad and best of all my bed, and in fact the whole room, smelt clean. There was no stale pee odor or ammonia smell. Having checked my bed, I now checked my diapers to see how wet they were. As I checked them over I noticed how heavy they were. When I walked over to my mirror I noticed how the extra padding in the back of my diapers hung down and bounced against my legs with my every step. My plastic pants looked a deeper shade of yellow then the night before and my fluffy diapers hung close to my skin and far below my crotch. Last night I walked with a toddler waddle and now I could walk normally but my pee soaked diapers swung back and forth with every step. I pulled back the waist band of my plastic pants and checked to see just how wet my diapers were. Warm air trapped inside my plastic pants rose and I detected that stale pee smell that used to fill my room every morning. My previously white diapers now had a gray look turning to yellow around the crotch. I reached into my plastic pants and felt my diapers and found them to be very wet and my hand came away wet. I then felt all around my diapers to see if there were any dry spots, there weren't. My diapers felt like a towel just removed from the washing machine, wet and heavy. My diapers were starting to turn cold and I was missing cartoons so I started removing my diapers. All the diaper pins were tight and when I saw how hard the wet diapers were pulling against the pins I sat down on my bed to relieve the strain. Sitting on the bed I was able to twist the pins out without too much trouble. Once I had the pins out I stood up. I had not taken hold of the diapers and as I stood the diapers and plastic pants slid down my legs and hit the floor with a splat. I stepped out of my diapers and picked them up worried that they had gotten the floor wet, but it was dry. My diapers had trapped all my pee inside and were keeping it there, but I was sure they couldn't have held much more. Maybe tonight I had better go to the bathroom before I went to bed like Mrs. Hanson said, even if I didn't feel like I needed to go. I put my wet diapers in a bag and hid them away. The air was cold on my wet skin so I got a clean pair of underpants and went to the bathroom. This was the first morning I could ever remember waking up in a dry bed. I had had dry nights before, but I couldn't remember the last time when I had gone to sleep on a clean dry bed and woke up dry too. Since only my diaper area was wet and I had not slept in a pee soaked bed I didn't need to take a shower. I just washed my diaper area, dried off and put on clean underpants. Wearing diapers was not only going to keep me dry but they would keep me clean too. Every morning I woke in a pee soaked bed that stank of stale pee and ammonia. Because of that I took a shower every school night, and usually on weekends too, so I wouldn't stink. Now I wouldn't have to take a shower everyday. I could shower before bed, sleep later in the morning and use baby wipes to clean my diaper area so I wouldn't smell like pee. I went back to my room to dress and then went to the den to watch cartoons. Mom came in about 8am and asked if I wanted breakfast so I went into the kitchen to eat. After I ate I went back to the den and watched cartoons till about 11am. Dad had gone to work and as I was going out mom asked if I wanted to go with her to the store. I said no and told her I was going to ride my bike around the neighborhood. With both mom and dad out this seemed to be the best time to go to Shawn's house to get my diapers for the weekend. When mom left, I went back to my room and retrieved my wet diapers and then rode my bike to Shawn's house. I dropped my bike in Shawn's front yard and went to the door. Shawn answered the door when I rang the bell. He was still wearing the T- shirt, diaper and yellow plastic pants I had put him in the evening before. The only difference now was that his diapers were obviously very wet. Shawn let me in and yelled "Mom, David's here" When I was in the house Shawn saw the plastic bag. Shawn asked, "What's in the bag?" "Nothing for you," I said nervously "Let me see!" And then before I realized what had happened Shawn had grabbed the bag from my hand and was opening it. Before I could get hold of Shawn he had the bag open looking inside. I froze fearing what would happen next. Shawn quickly closed the bag and said, "Yuck, it's a smelly diaper. Why did you bring a wet diaper and baby pants?... Wait... I bet this is your diaper the one you had on last night." I just looked at Shawn and reached to take the bag from him. Shawn pulled the bag back out of my reach and said, "It is, it's your diaper... you wet your diaper!" Shawn then turned and ran into the kitchen yelling, "Mommy, David wet his diapers. Look, David's diapers are all wet." When I reached the kitchen Shawn was just handing the bag with my wet diapers to his mom. Shawn said, "See, I told you, David wet his diapers." Mrs. Hanson took the bag and said to Shawn, "That's right, David wet his diapers but then so did you, didn't you?" "Yes, but I'm a baby and you said it's ok if I wet my diapers. David's to big to be a baby... Is David a baby?" "No honey, David wets his bed, just like you. Lots of big boys wet the bed and wear diapers but they are not babies. Understand?" Shawn said yes, but I don't think he really did. Mrs. Hanson said, "Ok Shawn, you go play and as soon as I talk to David I'll come give you your bath and get you a dry diaper." Shawn went off to his room to play and I watched as his mom opened the bag and pulled out my wet diapers and plastic pants. She smiled saying, "I guess you wet your diapers last night. Did they keep your bed dry?" I didn't know whether to laugh or cry and was about to do both. Fortunately her smile made me laugh and I said, "I guess so, and my bed was dry." As she examined the diaper she said, "Good, your diaper is pretty wet but not close to leaking so I think last night's diaper was thick enough." I was relieved to hear that. "Ok, let's go to my room and I'll get two more diapers ready for you to take home." We stopped in Shawn's room on the way and Mrs. Hanson went in to pick up a couple of his diapers. Shawn was sitting on the floor playing with his Lego's. As she opened a drawer full of diapers I watched Shawn lean forward and poop his diapers. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I saw a lump form in his diaper and the next instant he sat down and continued playing with his Lego's. By then Mrs. Hanson had the diapers and was leading me to her room. I followed her trying to understand what I had just seen. As Mrs. Hanson was folding my weekend diapers she was speaking to me but I didn't hear a word. I couldn't believe I had just seen a five year old poop in his diapers. I came back to the present as Mrs. Hanson loudly said, "David! Did you hear what I just said?" "Huh... oh... No, what did you say?" "I said, do you want me to put a container of baby powder with your diapers. You should use baby powder to help prevent diaper rash." "Yes, I guess." I still wasn't paying attention but I slowly realized some of what she had said. "Diaper rash?" "Yes, diaper rash! If you don't use baby powder you will probably get diaper rash. You can get it even if you use baby powder but it's almost a sure thing if you don't." Diaper rash, that's something I hadn't thought about. At least with a wet bed I didn't have to worry about diaper rash. I sure wouldn't want to have to explain that when I took a shower after gym this next school year. I said, "What will happen if I get diaper rash?" "Oh, it's nothing to worry about. It isn't serious it just itches but you have to put a diaper rash cream on it to make it go away." Nothing serious she says. I wasn't looking forward to PE next year and was terrified of having to take a shower, naked and in front of other people. But a 15 year old with diaper rash in gym class. That sounded real serious to me. Diaper rash appeared to be a serious drawback to wearing diapers. Mrs. Hanson was putting everything into a bag and said, "Ok, I've put two diapers, 2 pairs of plastic pants, 4 diaper pins, a small container of baby powder and two plastic bags to put your wet diapers into. Now, any questions." "No, I guess not." "Ok, then off you go. I've got to bathe and change Shawn and then we have to go shopping." Mrs. Hanson handed me the bag with my weekend diapers and we headed for the door. As we went by Shawn's room he yelled, "Mommy, my diaper's itchy." "Ok Shawn, I'll be there in a minute to get you changed." When we got to the door she said, "Now, if you have any problems you be sure to call, even if it's late, I won't mind. I'll see you Monday night... Bye." "Bye." I turned and left and she went back inside to take care of Shawn. As I started riding home it seemed like something was missing or I had forgotten something. I was about to go back when I figured out what is was. For the last 3 nights Mrs. Hanson had sent me home with a pat on my bottom but she didn't today. I wondered why? As I continued home I thought about Shawn. He had told his mom his diaper was itchy. I thought, no wonder, he had just pooped in it 10 minutes before. Would she be mad, why had he done that, why had he not held it or asked to have his diapers removed so he could go potty. I thought about something else too. Mrs. Hanson said she was going to get Shawn a dry diaper. Why did Shawn need a dry diaper, was she going to put him in a dry diaper and plastic pants after his bath. Shawn was a bedwetter so why was his mother going to put him in a diaper during the day. I didn't understand any of it but I guess it really didn't matter. I got home, went to my room and put the bag of diapers in the drawer I was using to keep the wet ones in. I was now ready for tonight. My first night getting diapered at home. I was a little nervous about being caught putting on my diapers but coming home already diapered, especially in those super thick diapers, made me a lot more nervous. I really wanted to tell mom about my diapers but I was afraid she would make me stop wearing them. I was thinking I would use them a few weeks and then show her how well they kept my bed dry and maybe then she would let me wear them. With a plan in place and my diapers safely hidden I went outside to enjoy the rest of day. -- Chapter Eight -- That night after the news my parents went to bed. I had decided to stay up a little after they went to bed to lessen the chance they would walk in on me as I was putting on my diapers. I was anxious to put on my diapers and get to bed but I waited until after the Tonight Show's monologue to give my parents a chance to settle into bed. At about quarter till eleven I turned out the lights and went to get ready for bed. I went to the bathroom first, like Mrs. Hanson told me. Even though I hadn't needed to go I still peed a lot and saw the wisdom in going before bed. I went to my room and then closed and locked my door. My parents would wonder why my door was locked if they came to my room but that was better than them seeing me putting on my diapers. I went to the drawer with my bag of diaper stuff and got one of the diapers, a pair of plastic pants, diaper pins and baby powder. I then laid out my diapers and proceeded to diaper myself. Once my diaper was pinned on I pulled on my plastic pants. I had decided to wear the blue pair tonight. I then opened my door enough to allow air flow, turned out the light and crawled into bed. I had had an active day and had no trouble falling asleep. I woke when the sheet on my bed was ripped off me and saw both my parents in my room looking down at me in my bed. I tried to reach for the sheet to cover my diapers but was only able to sit in the middle of my bed trying to hide my thick and obviously wet diapers. My mom said, "Look dear, our son has decided to become a baby again. I told you he was wearing a diaper Friday when he came home." My dad reached down, took hold of the waist band of my plastic pants at the back and pulled it back. A rush of cold air hit my wet diapers and I shivered. "Well it certainly appears he needs them based on how wet they are. He's going to need to be changed before these diapers leak or he catches cold." "Well dear why don't you get our baby's diapers off and I'll get his bath ready." Dad let go of my plastic pants and said, "No way, I didn't change his diapers when he was a baby the first time and I'm not going to this time either. I'll put him in a diaper after he's cleaned up but I'm not opening up his dirty diapers, I don't want to discover what kind of surprises he's left in them." I wanted to tell my parents that I wasn't a baby and that I had only wet my diapers but I was so shocked by what my parents were saying that I couldn't speak. I was afraid of what my parents were going to do and started to cry. My mom said, "Oh look, he's starting to cry. His diapers are wet and cold and he must want them changed." Mom then pushed me flat onto the bed and pulled down my plastic pants. "You go get baby's bath ready and I'll remove his dirty diapers since you don't want to." Dad left the room as mom pulled off my plastic pants. The cold air on my wet diapers was making me shiver. Mom said, "Is baby cold? Mommy will give her new baby a nice warm bath as soon as she gets his wet diapers off." Mom removed the diaper pins and pulled off my wet diapers. She then sat me up and removed my T-shirt. I sat on the bed completely naked, shivering and crying. "Come on baby, let's get you in your bath before you catch cold." Mom took my hand pulling me off the bed. She led me naked and shivering down the hall into the bathroom. When I entered the bathroom, dad had just finished getting my bath ready. The tub was full of bubbles and I could even see a few toys floating in the water. It was just like the bath I had prepared for Shawn Friday night. I hadn't had a bath in at least three years and I wanted to tell mom and dad that I would take a shower but I was still too shook up by what was happening to speak. Mom led me to the tub and dad had me step into the water and helped me sit down. Mom then knelt down and started lathering a washrag. Oh no, mom was going to wash me like I was a baby. I tried to take the washrag from mom so I could wash myself but mom just smacked my hand away and started washing me. She said, "David, you're too little to wash yourself so you just play with your toys while I give you your bath." Mom started washing me with dad standing beside her, watching. I was so embarrassed having dad see me being treated like a baby. I had planned to keep my diapers a secret from dad even after I had told my mom. I had hoped mom would help me hide them from my dad so he wouldn't find out and think that I was a baby. But now dad knew about my diapers and was watching me being given a bath like a baby. Mom said, "Honey, would you go and get David's clothes and diapers ready while I give him his bath? Pick something nice for church." "Ok." Dad left the room as mom finished washing me. Had mom said DIAPERS. Were they going to make me wear diapers to church! This was too much, as mom was rinsing me off I started to cry again. Mom said, "What's the matter baby, did I get soap in your eyes?" I shook my head and tried to speak. "I... I... I don't need... diapers. I can't... wear diapers to ... church!" "Yes my baby does need diapers. Your diapers were very wet this morning and I don't want you wetting your pants at church today." "B... But... I won't wet my pants. I only wet my bed at night." Mom reached up and took the shower sprayer off it's bracket and turned on the water. As she adjusted the temperature she said, "I'm sure you will try not to wet your pants but babies can't help it." "But mom, I'm not a baby!" Mom started wetting my hair as she said, "Babies wear diapers, you were wearing diapers, so you must be a baby and all babies need to wear diapers at all times. I don't want any accidents in the car or at church today." Mom put soap into my hair and lathered it in as I sat with my eyes squeezed shut softly crying. She then rinsed my hair with the sprayer and when she was finished she said, "Ok, all done. Give me your hand and I'll get you out of the tub." I did as I was told and when I was out and standing by the tub I reached for the towel to dry myself off. Again mom smacked my hand away. "Babies don't dry themselves very good so I'll do it so you'll be good and dry." Mom then picked up the towel and started drying me off. "All done. Give me your hand and we'll go and get you dressed for church." Mom led me naked back to my room. Dad was in my room and I saw a set of diapers on my bed along with some clothes. "Dear, you get David dressed while I clean up the bathroom and fix breakfast." "Ok honey." Mom left the room and dad turned his attention to me. "Ok sport hop up on the bed and I'll get you diapered." This was the worst thing that had happened yet this morning. My dad had seen my diapers, my wet diapers. He had seen me naked and given a bath like a baby. Now he was going to diaper me. I said, "I don't want diapers!" and started to cry again. "Well what you want doesn't count much anymore. Your mom said you're a baby again and need to wear diapers. I've thought that you should have been put back in diapers for sometime now because of your bedwetting and now you will be. Mom also says you need to wear diapers during the day and she's the boss. So I guess you wear diapers during the day." I stood beside the bed crying. Dad had never said anything about my bedwetting so I thought he hadn't thought much about it. Now to find out he thought I should have been in diapers all along was very upsetting. Dad said in a harsh voice, "Get on the bed now! I need to get you dressed so we can eat breakfast and get to church on time." I climbed onto the bed and positioned myself on my diapers. I turned my head to the side so I wouldn't have to look at dad as he was diapering me. I instead looked closer at the clothes dad had laid out for me. As dad powdered my diaper area I noticed the clothes were new. Dad pulled up my diaper and began pinning them on as I saw that what I thought were pants were actually shorts. I also saw that they had light blue and white stripes and looked like the short overalls that Shawn wore, only bigger. Dad said, "All done. Stand up and I'll put your plastic pants on." I stood up and dad held out the plastic pants for me to step into. The plastic pants were yellow with circus shapes on them, lions, bears and clowns. Dad pulled them up and adjusted them so all my diapers were inside. As dad had me turn around so he could check the back I noticed how thick my diapers were. These diapers, the ones I was going to have to wear to church, were even thicker than the ones Mrs. Hanson had given me. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to walk properly and that my diapers were going to be extremely obvious to everyone. I wasn't even sure I would be able to get my pants on. "Dad, this diaper is too thick! I won't be able to get my pants on." "Don't worry, your mom went shopping yesterday and bought you more diapers and some new clothes sized to fit over your diapers. Now, sit down so I can finish dressing you." I sat down and dad took the shirt and pulled it over my head. The shirt was a yellow pull-on with three buttons and a collar. He buttoned the bottom two buttons and then reached for the overalls. I started to stand up so I could step into them but dad pushed me back down on the bed. As I sat on the bed wondering what was going on, dad slid the overalls over my head. I was confused, how had he done that. How could he put my pants on over my head. Dad pulled the overalls down and then said, "Ok, stand up." When I stood up he continued to pull them down until they covered my diapers. When he finished he said "Now, sit back down and spread your legs apart." Still confused I sat back down and spread my legs apart a little. I now watched in horror as dad pulled a flap up that I had been sitting on and another flap from the front of the overalls. I saw the flaps had snaps on them and shuttered as I watched dad snap the two flaps together. It turned out that my diapers being obvious was the least of my worries. Dad had just dressed me in shortalls that mom had bought me and they had snaps in the crotch. My mom had bought me shorts just like a baby would wear. As dad bent down to put my socks on I looked down at my shortalls and could read the label on the front that said "Oshkosh". It turned out hiding my diapers was going to be easy compared to trying to explain why I was in baby blue stripe "Oshkosh" overalls that had snaps in them. When my dad finished putting on my socks he started putting on my, evidently new, blue tennis shoes with Velcro fasteners. It was then that everything that had happened this morning pushed me over the edge and my brain went into overload. I sat on the bed and quietly whimpered. Dad said something to me but I didn't hear it. Soon after I felt dad grab my hand, pull me up and begin to lead me to the kitchen. I walked with my head down seeing the floor, my new blue shoes and my babyish shortalls. I was led to a chair and I sat down mechanically. I heard my mom speaking but I didn't pay attention. I guess she had asked what I wanted for breakfast because a few minutes later I saw a bowl of cereal in front of me. I sat and stared at the cereal while I thought about what was happening to me. I couldn't understand why my parents were doing this but I didn't care anymore. I decided that if I ignored what was happening, everything would go back to normal. Mom came over to me and said, "David, eat your cereal, you need your breakfast." I continued to stare at the bowl of cereal. "David, If you don't eat I'll have to feed you!" Being fed like a baby seemed natural after everything that had already happened and I didn't care. I had tuned out. It was like what was happening to me was really happening to someone else and I was just watching. Mom turned my chair to face her and lifted my head. I looked at my moms face seeing someone else's mom taking spoonfuls of cereal and feeding it to some other boy. I watched as this other boy was fed his cereal by his mother. When he finished, his mom wiped his face and led him outside and put him into the backseat of a car. This boy's parents then got in the car and I watched as all three of them drove away. On the trip to church my mind was sorting out what had happened that morning. I was upset and mad that my parents were treating me this way just because I had worn diapers to keep my bed dry. The diapers worked so well at keeping me dry and I couldn't understand what was wrong with wearing them. I guessed they were mad and this was their way of punishing me and that it would be over soon and everything would go back to normal. I was still zoned out as dad drove into the church parking lot. When the car stopped my mind snapped back to reality as I thought about the other kids in Sunday School seeing me dressed as a baby. So far this morning I had been embarrassed and humiliated. Now I was afraid. What were the other kids in my Sunday School going to say, what would they do. Would my friends make fun of me, would they still be my friends. Mom and dad got out of the car and mom opened my door. "Hurry up David, we're running a little late." Mom took my hand and almost had to drag me out of the car. No one was in the parking lot as she led me inside and to my Sunday School room. When we arrived at my class room I saw everyone seated inside. Mom kissed me on the cheek and gave me a pat on my diapered bottom to send me inside. I went in and took a seat at the back. I looked down and could see the big bulge of my diapers between my legs and I could also see the row of snaps going up one leg of my shortalls across my diapered crotch and down the other leg. The snaps were silver and stood out against the baby blue and white of my shortalls. I quickly pulled my legs together, as much as my diapers would allow, and folded my hands in my lap. The teacher wasn't there yet but I hoped she would arrive soon. I sat quietly hoping that if I didn't move and was quite enough, no one would notice I was there before class started. It didn't work. Bruce, the most obnoxious kid in my class noticed me at once. He said, "Nice shorts, did your mommy pick them out for you." I tried to ignore him. "My baby brother has a pair just like them." I continued to ignore him and it seemed to be working. Several kids were looking at me but no one was joining in and my friends were ignoring me in an effort to prevent Bruce from switching to them if he got tired of harassing me. Bruce was getting bored and I began to relax. That's when everything went wrong. I got careless and crossed my legs forgetting about my thick diapers and the snaps. As soon as I did it I realized my mistake and uncrossed my legs but it was too late. Susan, a girl I had a crush on, yelled, "I saw David's underpants. David's wearing yellow underpants." The fact that my diapers were so thick and the shortalls were so short and baggy made it very easy to see my plastic pants through the leg openings of my shortalls. I tried pulling the legs tight but there were too many places my plastic pants showed. My trying to hide them only made it worst as I heard one of the other girls shout, "Look his shorts have snaps just like my baby brothers pants do." Susan came closer and asked, "Why do you have snaps on the legs of your shorts and why are your underpants yellow and not white like other boys?" I didn't answer Susan's questions but Pam, the girl who had noticed the snaps in the first place, answered for me. "My brother's pants have snaps so mommy can change his diapers without taking his pants off. Mommy unsnaps his pants then pulls them up. She then pulls down his plastic pants and changes his wet diapers." I was getting scared. Everything was going wrong. My plastic pants had been seen but they didn't know they weren't normal underpants yet. The snaps in my pants had been noticed and they were giving the girls clues about my wearing diapers. Susan was beside me almost looking straight up my pants legs. If she noticed that my underpants were really plastic pants she would guess I was wearing diapers. To make matters worst I was starting to feel sick, too. I was nervous and my stomach felt like popcorn was popping in it. My stomach was making noises and I felt my breakfast churning. Susan sat down beside me and pulled the leg of my shorts up. My shorts were loose and as she pulled my plastic pants became fully visible. Susan said, "These don't look like regular underpants." Then she took her other hand and felt the yellow material of my plastic pants. Susan said, "I was right, they aren't underpants, they're made of plastic, David's wearing plastic baby panties." I was so shocked that I wet my diapers. Susan asked, "Why are you wearing plastic panties instead of underpants?" I sat staring at her. I had just finished wetting my diapers and before I could say anything, Pam shouted "I know, I know, I bet he wears diapers." Susan said, "I think you're right. Look he's turning red and why else would he be wearing plastic baby panties. David, are you wearing diapers?" I was going to be sick. I felt like I was going to throw up. I couldn't speak but I shook my head no hoping they would believe me and leave me alone. Susan saw me shake my head and said, "I don't believe you, I think you wear diapers and plastic baby panties. Since you won't tell the truth I guess I'll just have to find out for myself." Susan then started unsnapping my shortalls. I tried to stop her but she slapped my hands away and continued to unsnap my pants. When she finished she pulled the front of my shorts back and exposed my wet diapers and plastic pants. "See I knew you were wearing diapers, you shouldn't have lied. Why are you wearing diapers?... Do you wet your pants?" I shook my head no even as she pulled back the waist band of my plastic pants to check. She put her hand inside my plastic pants and squeezed my diapers. "Bad baby, your diaper is wet and you just told me no when I asked if you wet your pants. I'm going to have to punish you for wetting your diapers and for lying." I was so upset, I was going to be sick. Then I started to cry. Susan pulled me to my knees onto the floor and knelt beside me. "Ok David, you need to be punished so I'm going to have to give you a spanking." I cried "NO!" and started crying harder. Susan lifted the back of my shortalls onto my back and started to spank me on my diapered bottom. I didn't feel anything through my diapers but the humiliation was the last straw. I felt my stomach churn but instead of throwing up I started pooping my diapers. I heard a farting sound and could feel my diapers filling with my poop. As my diapers expanded, Susan stopped spanking me and shouted "David's pooping in his diapers. I was spanking him and I felt his diapers filling with poop. David's pooping his diapers like a baby." As she spoke she pushed my bottom squashing the poop already in my diapers all over my bottom. As she was pushing my diapers I continued having spasms pushing even more poop into my diapers. When I finished filling my diapers a sat down on the floor. The last of the poop that Susan had not pushed into my butt squeezed all around in my diaper as I sat down. I sat on the floor with my head in my hands crying. It was like one of those dreams where you find yourself in school naked. The teacher calls on you and everyone turns to see that you are naked. There's nowhere to hide as everyone points and laughs at you. As I sat crying, most of the kids were laughing while Susan and Pam were dancing around and shouting "David pooped his diapers. David pooped his diapers." My diapers were starting to stink and I heard Susan say "David's diaper stinks, I better change his diapers." She came over to me and shook me saying "David, get up so I can change your diaper. David, get up. David, get up." "David, get up." I woke up to see my mother shaking me awake. When mom saw I was awake she said, "David, it's time to get ready for church." I couldn't believe it. It was a dream, but it had seemed so real. "David, Are you awake?" "Yes mom... I'm awake" "Good... Now go take your shower and when you're dressed come down for breakfast." She then left my room closing the door. I took off the covers and check my bed. It was dry. I then checked my diapers and they were soaked. I sat on the edge of my bed and as I pulled the diaper pins out of my diapers I kept repeating to myself, "It was really a dream. It was really just a dream." I stepped out of my diaper and plastic pants, put them in a plastic bag and put the bag in my drawer. I then got a clean pair of underpants and went to take a shower. When I returned to get dressed I could hardly remember the dream that had nearly scared me to death. It had been a real nightmare and I was so happy it hadn't been real. As I went down to breakfast I thought about how humiliating being treated like a baby had been. I also thought how nice it had felt to be taken care of. Maybe if my dream parents had been nicer and I hadn't been taken out in public dressed in my diapers it wouldn't have been a nightmare. -- Chapter Nine -- Sunday was a normal day, not like my nightmare at all, and by Sunday night I had almost forgotten about my nightmare. I was playing "Space Quest" on my new Tandy computer when my mom came in to tell me that they were going to bed and not stay up too late. We said goodnight and I went back to my game. I had gotten the computer for Christmas and it was a lot faster than my old Tandy 1000. My new computer was a Tandy 1000TX and had a Intel 80286 processor and was four or five times faster than my first computer. My new computer also had a 20 megabyte hard drive, my old computer only had floppy disks. Some of my friends had computers too but I liked mine better. Each of us had bought one of the new Sierra games, "Leisure Suite Larry", "King's Quest" and "Space Quest". We would usually play together at one of my other friend's houses and take turns taking the game we were playing home to play. When we played at their houses the game only had four yucky colors and little or no sound. Mostly it made beep beep noises. When I took the games home and played them on my computer however, the graphics and sound effects were great. My computer had 16 colors and the game looked almost real and there were sound effects too. In "Space Quest", blaster shots and explosions sounded real and there were a lot more sound effects. The music was also better, it sounded like synthesizer music instead of beep beep music. I wanted to tell everyone how much better the game was at my house but because of my bedwetting I couldn't. If I told them what it looked like on my computer they wouldn't have believed me and would have wanted me to prove it. Then once they saw how much better it was they would have wanted to always play at my house. I would not have minded that and I wanted to show off my computer too, but the computer was in my room so they would see my wet bed with it's stained sheets. I also doubted they would want to stay in a room that stank and probably wouldn't want to be friends with a 15 year old that still wet his bed, either. So I kept my computer a secret. When it was my turn to take the game home I would replay the game up to where we had stopped so I could enjoy the better sound and graphics. Tonight I was trying to get past where we were stuck. We had worked all afternoon trying to get past this one obstacle and hadn't found a way around it. I was determined to find it before I went to bed. I searched all around trying to find something that would help. Then when I was about to give up and go to bed I saw a place on a wall that looked different. I went over and told the computer to "push it" and I heard a sound. I told the computer to go into the next room and the obstacle was gone. The next day when I showed everyone the solution, I saw why we had missed it. On their computer you could barely see the place on the wall and when I pushed it their computer didn't make a sound either. The better graphics and sound of my computer had allowed me to find the solution and I couldn't tell them about it. I now wanted more than ever to have diapers. With diapers my bed would stay dry and my room wouldn't stink. I could show off my computer and we all would enjoy the games a lot more. I decided right then that I would ask my mom, this week, if I could have diapers. As I got my diapers and pinned them on I thought how nice it would be if mom helped diaper me. I was embarrassed when Mrs. Hanson put on my diapers but it also gave me a feeling I can't describe. I know I wouldn't be embarrassed if my mom put on my diapers so I was sure I would enjoy it even more, but I also remembered the part of my nightmare when dad put on my diapers and I hoped my mom wouldn't have to tell him about my diapers. Even if mom had to tell him I don't think I would want him to diaper me. I put on my plastic pants, turned off my computer and lights and slid into bed. I hoped I didn't have any nightmares tonight but even if I did I was still going to ask for diapers. Monday morning my bed was dry and my diapers were wet, just like they had been for the past three mornings. After three nights my bed was still dry. My windows were kept open in summer so my room was airing out and I couldn't detect any pee or ammonia smell. I took off my wet diapers and put them away. I then went to the bathroom to clean up. I didn't like running around naked but I needed to clean off my diaper area before I put on my clean underpants. Once I told mom I was sure she would get me a box of baby wipes and I would be able to clean up in my room. When I cleaned off in the bathroom I could smell stale pee on me but once I cleaned up and put on my underpants, it was gone. When I returned to my room it still smelled clean. By the end of the week I would be able to have friends over for sure. I finished getting dressed and went down to eat breakfast and enjoy another day of my summer vacation. After lunch I went to my friend's to house show the solution I had found the night before. When I arrived several of our group were there and were still trying to find a solution. I told them I had figured it out and told them what to do. They were impressed that I had found the solution but I didn't tell them how easy it had been on my computer. We continued to play until 5:30 when I left to go get Shawn. After dinner Shawn and I went to the park. When we got there we found Eric sitting on a swing but none of Shawn's other friends were there. Eric was trying to swing and when he saw us he got all excited. Eric said, "Hi Shawn. Hi David... Are you going to show me how to swing today?" Shawn said hi and got on one of the swings and started swinging. I went over and knelt in front of Eric so we were at eye level. I said, "I guess I can, if you really want me to." Eric started kicking his legs and giggling. He said, "Yes, yes, I want to learn to swing." As Eric was bouncing on the swing I looked down and could see his thick diapers and white plastic pants sticking out of his short's leg hole. It looked as if he had tried to pull up his shorts and the diaper material between his legs had all gotten on one side. The crotch of his shorts had pulled up past his diaper and now at least a three inch lump of very wet diaper was showing below his shorts. I also noticed his shorts were wet. As I stared at Eric's wet shorts and diapers he looked down to see what I was looking at. Eric saw his wet shorts and his diapers and plastic pants showing. Eric stared at his shorts a moment, looked up at me, and started crying. He then jumped off the swing and tried to run away. I grabbed his arm and held on as he tried to pull away. Even standing you could still see a couple inches of his diaper hanging below his shorts. I also saw that the back of his shorts and part of his shirt was wet. He had really wet his diapers. I took his other hand as he cried and continued to try to pull away. I turned him to face me. I said, "It's ok Eric, I know you wear diapers and I don't care." Eric, lifted up his head to look at me and sobbed out, "Y.y.you d.d.don't!" "No, if you have to wear diapers I understand." Shawn had gotten off his swing to come over and comfort Eric and then what I had worried would happen, happened. He said, "Don't worry Eric, David wears diapers and baby pants too. He even wets them." It felt like I was having another nightmare but I knew it wasn't. Shawn didn't really understand secrets and had just told one of my biggest. Eric had mostly stopped crying now and was staring at me in disbelief and amazement. He looked at my shorts and said, "He does not, I can't tell he has on diapers... How do you know he wears diapers" I was speechless but Shawn spoke for me. "He doesn't wear them in the daytime. He wears them at night, like I do... I saw his baby pants Friday night when we watched a movie. Then Saturday morning he brought a wet diaper back to my house in a bag... I took and opened the bag and it had a wet and smelly diaper in it." Eric continued to stare at me. He had stopped crying and was starting to smile as he said, "You don't care that I wear diapers?" I shook my head no because I was still to upset to speak. Eric had stopped crying but I felt like I might start. "You wear diapers and baby pants to bed cause you wet the bed?" I nodded my head yes. I then let go of Eric and let my hands drop to my sides. I must have looked upset because Eric stepped over to me and gave me a hug saying, "Don't worry David, I don't care that you wear diapers either." Eric released me and then smiling he said, "David, can you show me how to swing now?" I was a little shocked but could only smile as I thought how quickly Eric had dismissed the events of the past few minutes. All of us knew about each other's diapers now, so it was on to more important things, learning to swing. I decided to follow their example and not worry that at the rate people were finding out about my diapers, it would be public knowledge before the end of the week. Instead I said, "Eric, your pants are pretty wet, do you need to go home to have your diapers changed." Eric felt his pants and said, "No, they get wet all the time and mom may not let me come back... I want to learn to swing now." "Ok." I then looked again at Eric's shorts and diapers and saw that part of the problem was that his diapers were pulled down. This was probably why they had leaked so bad too. I said, "Eric, before I show you how to swing do you want me to fix your diapers and shorts so they won't show or leak anymore?" "Ok, I would like that, but!" "But what?" "My diapers might not just be wet... I sometimes poopie in them too." I was a little surprised that he would tell me this and also hoped he hadn't filled his diapers. I wasn't as surprised as I would have been had I not seen Shawn poop his diapers on Saturday. I just said, "Don't worry that's what diapers are for, I guess." I checked the park to see if anyone was there and seeing no one I pulled down Eric's shorts so I could fix his diapers. Eric's diapers were really loose and pulled down even further when I had pulled down his shorts. I looked at Eric to make sure he wasn't upset at having his diaper exposed in the park, and saw he had put his thumb in his mouth and was just looking around, calm and contented. I took hold of his plastic pants and diapers and pulled them up but when I let them go they fell part of the way down again. I pulled them up again and as I did my best to hold them in place with one hand I used the other hand to pull back his plastic pants and unfasten his diaper pin. I then pulled the diaper tighter and re-pinned that side of his diaper. I then did the same thing with the other diaper pin and fixed his plastic pants. Lastly I pulled his shorts back up and said, "How's that feel... better?" "A whole lot better, thank you David." "You're welcome." As I lifted Eric onto the swing I thought about how wet his diapers had been. Even pulled up and tight I doubted they wouldn't leak if Eric wet his diapers again. I also thought how happy I was that they didn't appear to have been messy. I spent the rest of the evening teaching Eric how to swing. I was surprised how long it took and worried Shawn was getting bored but he was swinging happily. By the time we had to head home, Eric was swinging almost as good as Shawn. Finally I said, "Eric, Shawn and I have to go home now, it's almost Shawn's bedtime." "Ok, I have to go home too." I said, "Do you want us to walk you home? Where do you live?" He pointed to a house on the edge of the park and said, "I live over there." "Ok, let's go then." We walked across the park to his house. It had a fenced in back yard and we had to walk around to the front. When we got to the front of his house Shawn and I said good bye." Eric started walking towards the attached garage and said, "Thank you David, I can hardly wait to tell mommy that I know how to swing. Bye." Eric walked into the garage and Shawn and I starting walking home. Eric lived two houses down a cross street from the street Shawn and I lived on. When we turned onto our street we were only four houses from Shawn's house. "Shawn, it's late so go get your clothes off while I get your bath ready. After I get you ready for bed you can have a snack and then it's off to bed." Shawn was tired and went off to his room to get undressed without complaint. I went to the bathroom and ran his bath. A few minutes later Shawn walked in just as his bath finished filling. I helped him into the tub and then started to leave to put on my diapers. Shawn yelled for me to wait and asked, "David, where are you going?" I lied, "No where, I just have to do some cleaning up." I started to go again and Shawn said, "Wait... Uh... Are you going to put on your diapers and baby pants." "Well, maybe. Why?" "Uh... Can I see your diapers and baby pants before you put on your shorts?" "Why?" "I don't know... I just want to see if they look like mine I guess... Can I see them... Please!" "Ok, I guess... Can I go now?" "Ok." I then left to put on my diapers. After I was diapered I debated whether or not to put on my shorts. If I went back to the bathroom wearing my shorts maybe Shawn would forget about seeing my diapers. I decided to keep my promise though and went back to the bathroom in my diapers and white plastic pants. Shawn was still playing with his tub toys when I went in and knelt by the tub to finishing washing him. Shawn was pretty clean so all I washed were his hands and feet. I rinsed him off and lifted him out of the tub. When I set him down in front of me was the first time he noticed I wasn't wearing shorts over my diapers and plastic pants. As I dried Shawn he stared at my diapers. When I finished I led him back to his room. My diapers made me waddle and I could feel Shawn's eyes looking at my behind as I walked. When we got to Shawn's crib I waited for Shawn to climb into his crib and lie on the stack of diapers I had laid out for him. Instead he just stood by his crib looking at me. Finally Shawn said, "David... Your diapers are sure big. I bet they are twice as big as mine." He continued staring at my diapers and then said, "Did you know that you walked funny just now, coming from the bathroom." I was uncomfortable with the attention and finally said "I'm bigger than you so my diapers have to be bigger." I thought a moment and said, "Because my diapers are so big it's hard for me to get my legs together and it makes me walk funny. Now climb up so I can get you diapered." As Shawn climbed up and laid on his diapers he said, "Your baby pants are a lot bigger than mine are too." I started diapering Shawn and said, "Mine have to be bigger so they fit over my diapers. Also, mine aren't baby pants they are big boy plastic pants. Ok?" "But they look just like my baby pants!" "I know but mine are too big for a baby. My plastic pants are made just for big boys who need to wear diapers. Someday you might have to wear big boy plastic pants if you keep wetting your bed at night." Shawn thought a moment and said, "Mommy says I can wear diapers as long as I want. Mommy says I can wear diapers even if I stop wetting my bed... I wish I could wear diapers all the time like Eric. Mommy lets me wear my diapers all weekend but mommy says I can't go to school if I wear diapers in the daytime." I finished diapering Shawn and pulled on his plastic pants. I couldn't believe what Shawn had just told me. Shawn wanted to wear his diapers all the time and I'm sure he wanted to use them too since I had seen him poop in them Saturday. The only reason he didn't wear them during the week was because the daycare probably didn't accept five year olds that wore diapers. When I finished Shawn's diaper I lifted him out of his crib and we went to the kitchen. I poured Shawn a glass of milk and gave him a stack of Oreo's. As he sat down to eat he said, "Can I see your diapers?" "What do you mean, I'm only wearing my diapers." "No, without your baby... I mean plastic pants." I thought it over and said ok as I pulled down my plastic pants. I felt foolish as I stood up with my plastic pants around my ankles and my bright white diapers exposed. As Shawn ate a cookie he examined my diapers closely taking note of the four diaper pins. "Your diapers sure are thick. Why do you have so many pins in your diapers." "Big boys need more pins to hold on their diapers. Now if you're finished looking, can I pull up my plastic pants?" "Yea, I'm done, thank you for letting me see them." "That's ok, but could you do me a favor?" "What?" "Would you not tell anyone else that I wear diapers. I want to keep it a secret. Don't tell my mom or dad or any of your other friends. Ok?" "I guess... Doesn't your mom already know! Doesn't she put your diapers on?" "No, I only started wearing diapers when your mom gave them to me after I wet the sofa. I don't want my parents to know I'm wearing diapers yet. Understand?" Shawn looked a little confused but he said, "I guess. I won't tell." Shawn had finished his milk and cookies and I said, "Ok, if you're finished lets get your teeth brushed and then it's off to bed." Shawn finished getting ready and went off to bed. He must have been tired because he went right to sleep and didn't come into the den. I went to the kitchen to get a coke and went to the den to watch TV. I drank my soda and watched the end of a movie that was on. I then must have fallen asleep. I woke up to see Mrs. Hanson shaking me and calling my name. "David, everything ok?" I blinked the sleep from my eyes and said, "Yea, no problems." "Good. Now, can I ask a question?" "You just did but yea." Mrs. Hanson smiled at my clever joke and asked, "David, why are you just in your diapers and plastic pants?" I looked down as saw that I had forgotten to put my shorts on after I had put Shawn to bed. Embarrassed I said, "Shawn wanted to see my diapers and I forgot to put my shorts on after I put him to bed." She smiled again and looked closer at my diapers. "Shawn does like his diapers and I should have known he would be curious after what happened Saturday. I hope he didn't embarrass you!" "No, but he sure asked a lot of questions." "I bet. I'm sure I'll hear all about your diapers in the morning. Now, let's get you changed since it's obvious that your diaper is wet." I looked down and saw a big yellow stain showing through my white plastic pants. I must have blushed because Mrs. Hanson said, "Don't be embarrassed, that's why you're in diapers after all. Come on, let's get you changed." Instead of getting up from the chair I said, "Uh... Mrs. Hanson, could I carry home my diapers for tonight like I did Saturday? I'm really nervous my parents will notice my diapers if I wear them home." "That's fine. Did putting them on at home work out ok, no problems?" "Yea, it worked great." "Ok then. Let's go back to my room so I can get that wet diaper off you and get you a new diaper and plastic pants for tonight. Where did you put your weekend diapers and diapering supplies." It was then I realized that I had forgot them at home. I said, "I left them at home." "That's alright, since the pins and powder are still at your house I'll put your new diaper and plastic pants in a paper bag for you to take home. Were you wet Saturday and Sunday?" I nodded my head yes, embarrassed by the question. "Stop blushing, lots of little boys wet their pants and beds and it's nothing to be embarrassed about." Mrs. Hanson folded my diaper and packed it and a pair of blue plastic pants in a paper bag. "Now, pull down your plastic pants and I'll unpin your diapers." For the second time tonight I pushed my plastic pants down to my ankles. I then stood up and stepped out of them and Mrs. Hanson began to unpin my diapers. She said, "Be sure to bring your wet diapers back tomorrow. They will really stink by now and are probably starting to mildew, so don't forget." "I won't." Mrs. Hanson had my diaper off and had me stand still while she cleaned me off with a baby wipe. She said, "Ok, you're all clean. Put your underpants and shorts on and you can go home." I left Shawn's house a minute later relieved that I wasn't having to wear the thick diaper I was carrying home. I would drop the bag off in my room and then watch some TV with mom and dad without having to worry about them noticing my diapers. I only forgot one thing. I walked in the house and yelled I'm home. Mom and dad were watching TV and mom said, "Evening dear, everything ok?" "Yea, mom." "Good, what's in the bag?" I froze. I should have expected this but I still wasn't prepared. I tried to think fast so mom wouldn't get suspicious. I finally said, "It's just some parts for a model I'm building. I'll be back after I put it into my room." "Ok honey. Do you want anything to eat?" Mom didn't appear suspicious but I wanted to hurry up and get to my room. I said, "Maybe, I'll go look in the fridge in a minute." I hurried into my room and put the bag in my drawer. I then went into the kitchen to scope out a snack. I was too nervous to eat so I just went into the den to see what mom and dad were watching. It was a police show so I sat down to watch. Mom said, "How was your day?" "Fine." "How's Shawn?" "He's fine, we went to the park and he was so tired he went straight to sleep." "That's good." I started watching the show, mom went back to her crossword puzzle and dad continued reading the paper. At 10pm the news came on and my parents stopped what they were doing and started watching it. I hated the news so I told my parents goodnight and got up to go to bed. I went to the bathroom first like Mrs. Hanson had told me to do. I then went to my room, closed and locked my door and started putting on my diapers. I figured that if I hurried I could get my diapers on, unlock the door and get into bed before the first commercial break. I put my diapers, plastic pants, pins and powder on the bed. I stripped off my shorts and underpants and laid on my diapers. I powdered my diaper area, pulled up the front of my diaper and pinned it on. Then as I pulled on my plastic pants I heard a noise followed by a knock. "David, are you in there, why is the door locked?" I freaked. I'm standing in just a diaper and plastic pants and mom is knocking on the door. I quickly put the baby powder back in the drawer, pulled on my shorts and opened the door. Mom looked concerned as she said, "Honey, what are you doing and why was your door locked?" "I was just getting ready for bed. The door must have been locked when I closed it and I didn't notice. She still looked concerned and I thought she didn't believe me but she just said, "Ok honey. Your dad and I are going to bed now. We'll see you in the morning. Goodnight." "Nite mom." Mom left and I turned out my light, removed my shorts and got into bed. My heart was racing. That was so close. I just hoped I hadn't looked half as scared as I felt. Keeping my diapers a secret was going to make me a nervous wreck. I was going to have to tell mom about my diapers before she found out herself. While I calmed down so I could go to sleep I decided I would tell mom about my diapers. I would do it in the morning after dad went to work. -- Chapter Ten -- In the morning I took off my soaked diapers and put them away. I also did something that I never did, I made my bed. Since my bed was always wet in the morning and needed to dry out, I always left it unmade. The only day it was ever made was Friday when mom put new sheets on it. The only times I made it were when mom told me to because someone was coming to visit and she didn't want visitors to see my unmade bed. Also, with the bed made and covered with the bed cover it cut down on the stink. I hated when I had to make my bed because then it wouldn't dry out and would usually still be very wet at bedtime. I also hated to make my bed because I was still a kid, and like cleaning my room, it was something no boy liked to do. This morning however, I made my bed because I wanted to. My bed was dry and I wanted to see what my room looked like cleaned up and with my bed made. I imagined what it would be like to have friends come play in my room and once I told mom I wanted to wear diapers it would be a reality. I got dressed and went down to breakfast ready to tell mom about my diapers. As I fixed a bowl of cereal and a glass of orange juice I started thinking of how to explain my wanting to wear diapers to my mom. Would I tell her that I had been wearing diapers for the past week. How would I explain where I got them. If I told mom Mrs. Hanson got them for me I would have to tell her why. I was sure mom would be mad that I wet Mrs. Hanson's sofa. Would I be punished? When I thought of being punished I thought of my nightmare. Would mom treat me like a baby as punishment for wetting the sofa or for wanting to wear diapers. When I was still in diapers I remembered mom always saying what a baby I was and that only babies wet their beds. Until I was twelve mom still diapered me every night after dinner or when I came in from play in the evening. I was tall and skinny and was still wearing the same diapers I had as a baby. My baby diapers were Gerber 27" x 27" and mom folded several of them together before diapering me. As I grew and wet more mom would just add more diapers and fold them differently to fit me and keep me dry. When a diaper would rip or get a hole mom would get another diaper from the attic where my old baby clothes were kept. I guess I had used a lot of diapers as a baby because mom had never had to buy new diapers for me. Mom did have to buy me new plastic pants though since my plastic pants didn't last very long. I would usually wear the same pair of plastic pants every night until they wore out. They would usually tear at the side or leg bands and when they started leaking at night mom would get me a new pair. As I grew mom would find me larger plastic pants and by the time I was twelve I was wearing "Toddler Super Large". I hated when I needed a new pair of plastic pants. Mom would take me to the local drug store which had a whole isle dedicated to diapers, plastic pants and other baby items. Mom would drag me in and take me to the baby aisle. She would pick a pair of plastic pants that she thought would fit me, take it out of the package and then hold it up to my pants to see if it was going to fit. If mom wasn't satisfied she would put the plastic pants back in the package and pick out a different size or brand. Many times, as I stood to have the plastic pants checked for fit, other people would be in the baby isle. I remembered many times when ladies would ask my mom why I was still in diapers. Mom would then explain, going into great detail, about my bedwetting and how ashamed she was that I wouldn't grow up and stop wetting my bed. As mom would talk I would stand with my head down wishing the ground would open and swallow me up. Once mom found plastic pants that fit, she would get several pairs and we would then go to the register to pay. Mom would give the clerk the packages and the pair of plastic pants that she hadn't bothered to put back in its package. Then as the clerk totaled the bill mom would tell the clerk how happy she was that the drug store carried such a large selection of baby pants. Mom would explain how worried she was that if I didn't stop wetting my bed soon she wouldn't be able to find baby pants that would fit me. I still remembered when mom stopped diapering me at night. Mom called me to my room, like she did every night, to diaper me. This night however, when I went into my room I didn't see a stack of diapers on my bed. Mom looked upset and motioned for me to sit on the bed. When I was seated mom said, "David, you have worn out all of your baby diapers and I refuse to buy you more. You're twelve years old and I shouldn't have to diaper you like a baby every night." "It's time you grew up and stopped wetting your bed like a baby. You're probably the only boy your age that still wets his bed and I know you're the only twelve year old who's mommy had to put him in diapers and baby pants every night." I watched my mom as she paced back and forth in front of me. I suggested, "I could put on my own diapers." Mom turned and said angrily "I doubt it, but that's not the point. You're twelve and you're still acting like a baby. Whether I diaper you or you diaper yourself you're still wearing diapers and wetting your bed. You'll be a teenager next year and teenagers DON'T WEAR DIAPERS!" "Now, things are going to change, starting tonight. First, NO MORE DIAPERS!" I asked, "But what about my bed?" "I've put a plastic sheet on your bed to protect the mattress. Now when you wet your bed your PJs, your sheets and your blankets all get wet. That should wake you up so you go to the bathroom like normal boys your age!" I didn't like what I was hearing. I had wet my bed before, when my diapers leaked, and I didn't like sleeping in a wet bed. I pleaded, "I don't want to sleep in a wet bed, why can't I keep wearing diapers?" Mom shouted, "Because I think diapers are the problem! When you wear diapers you don't feel the consequences of your wetting your bed. A few weeks of wet beds will cure you of your bedwetting." I didn't like my mother shouting and I didn't like the idea of wetting my bed without diapers. "What do I do when I wake up and my bed's wet." "At night when you wake up in a wet bed you'll realize you should have woken up and gone to the bathroom. When you try to go back to sleep in your wet bed you'll know how important it is to wake up before you wet your bed." Mom was being really mean. I tried every night to not wet the bed but every morning I woke up in a wet diaper. I didn't want to have to sleep in a pee soaked bed. As I started to cry I said, "What do I do in the morning if my bed's wet." "In the morning you make your bed as usual. Then that night when you go to bed, in your still wet bed, maybe you'll remember to wake up before you wet your bed again. Now, go to the bathroom and get to bed." The next morning my mom seemed to be upset when I told her that I had wet the bed. I guess she thought that I'd stop wetting right away when I was faced with having to sleep in a wet bed. I realized then that she really thought that I wet my bed on purpose or because I was too lazy to get up and go to the bathroom. I also realized that mom expected this treatment to eventually work. So mom waited for my bedwetting to stop. She asked everyday if I had kept my bed dry and everyday I said no. After the first week I was grounded for not trying hard enough to stop wetting my bed. A few weeks later I was punished for wetting my bed so bad that pee leaked onto the floor. After that mom put a soaker sheet on my bed to help soak up my pee. Because my bed stayed wet, by the end of the week my bed, my room and the whole house stank. Mom finally told me to keep my door closed and stop making my bed so it could dry during the day. From that night till last week, when I wore a diaper to bed again, I have slept in a wet bed every night. I kept wetting the bed even though I woke up almost every night in a cold wet bed. Mom stopped expecting my bedwetting to stop but she didn't put me back in diapers. By the time I had finished my breakfast I had decided not to tell my mom about my diapers. Mom had made it clear that twelve year olds shouldn't wear diapers so fifteen year olds couldn't either. I was convinced that if I told mom I was wearing diapers I would be punished and have to stop wearing them. Mom didn't understand that I couldn't stop wetting the bed and I didn't want to sleep in a wet bed anymore. I would continue to wear the diapers Mrs. Hanson gave me and not tell my mother. I put my dishes in the sink and went out to play. That evening I went to get Shawn and after supper I took him home before we went to the park. Shawn wanted to go to the park right away but I told him I had a surprise for him. After everything Shawn had told me and I had found out over the past few days I decided to see how much Shawn wanted to wear diapers. I took Shawn to his room and got a diaper out of his drawer. I put it on his crib and then got a pair of yellow plastic pants. Shawn watched me getting his diapers ready and finally asked. "David, Whatcha doing?" "You said you wanted to wear diapers during the day like Eric so I'm going to put your diapers on before we go to the park." Shawn looked at me in amazement and I watched a smile slowly form on his face. Shawn said, "Really, I can wear a diaper the rest of the day?" "Yep. If you want to." "I do, I do." "Ok, take off your shorts and underpants." When Shawn was ready I lifted him onto the stack of diapers and put them on him. After I put his plastic pants on I put him on the floor and said, "Now, put your shorts on and we'll go to the park." "Can't I just wear my diapers?" I couldn't believe that he really wanted to wear his diapers to the park and was amazed he wanted to go in just his diapers and plastic pants. I said, "No, you wouldn't wear just your underpants outside and diapers are just like thick underpants, so you need to put on your shorts." Shawn said, "Ok." and started putting on his shorts. When he was ready we headed for the park. On the way Shawn said, "I sure hope Eric is there so I can show him I get to wear diapers too." When we arrived, the park was empty. I took Shawn to the swing and started to push him. After a few minutes I heard my name and looked up to see Eric running across the park from his house. When Eric got to the swings he said, "I saw you from my bedroom so I came out to play." I had stopped pushing Shawn and he jumped off the swing and said, "Eric, guess what?" "What?" "I'm wearing a diaper and baby pants. Now I'm just like you." Eric looked at Shawn trying to see his diapers. He said, "No you're not. You said you only wear diapers to bed not in the daytime." "Yes I am. David took me home and put my diapers on. See!" Shawn then pulled down his shorts showing Eric his thick diapers and yellow baby pants. Eric, stared at Shawn's diapers and said, "Wow, you really are. Shawn pulled his shorts back up and said "Told you!" "Your diapers look just like mine." "Really, let me see." "No." "Please!" "Ok." Eric then pulled his shorts down a little exposing his diapers and yellow plastic pants. He waited a few seconds and then pulled them back up. Eric then said, "See told ya!" Shawn said, "That's neat... Want to go play?" "Ok, want to play in the sand?" Shawn said, "Ok." and led the way over to the sand box. I then sat on a swing to keep an eye on them. They played for a while and then I heard Shawn giggle and saw him do what I saw him do Saturday morning. He got on his hands and knees and I could tell that he was pooping his diapers. Then a few minutes later I saw Eric do the same thing. When Eric was finished filling his diapers they both giggled and continued playing in the said box. When I put Shawn in his diapers I hadn't expected him to use them and I certainly hadn't expected him to poop in them in front of someone. I had not expected them to have a pooping contest either. After a while they both walked over and Shawn said, "David?" "What?" "Can we go home now?" I wasn't going to make this easy on him, especially since I was going to have to change his poopy diaper. I said, "Why?" Shawn looked at the ground and dug the toe of his shoe in the dirt. As Eric giggled Shawn said, "Uh, because... Uh." "I decided to help him out. "Because you pooped in your diapers." "Uh-huh." "Ok. Eric do you need to go home too?" Now Eric looked embarrassed. "Yea, I guess." "Did you poop your diapers too?" "Yea." "Ok, we'll walk you home. Let's go." We began walking to Eric's house and I could see Shawn was walking funny. I guess having a load of poop in his diapers was uncomfortable. I also noticed that Eric didn't seem to be bothered by the load in his pants. When we got to Eric's house we said good bye and he went inside. Shawn and I continued walking home. When we turned onto our street Shawn stopped and said, "David, my diaper itches and it hurts to walk. Can you carry me the rest of the way?" I looked at Shawn as he stood with his legs apart apparently trying to keep his poopy and probably wet diaper from touching his bottom. I said "Ok... Maybe next time you'd better not poop in your diapers at the park." I picked Shawn up and started walking home. He wasn't very heavy but being this close I could smell his diaper. I was not looking forward to taking off his messy diaper. When we got home I carried Shawn into the bathroom. He really smelt bad and I didn't want to stink up his bedroom or take a chance of getting poop on anything. I told Shawn to take his shorts and plastic pants off while I started his bath. As the tub filled, I had Shawn lay down on the tile floor and removed the pins from his diapers. Cautiously I pulled his diaper open. I thought the smell was bad before but with his diaper open it reeked. I was relieved however to see very little poop in his diaper. I lifted Shawn's bottom and pulled his diaper out from under him, wiping his bottom as I did so. I had him stand up and wiped the rest of the poop off his bottom. I then put him in the tub. I now tried to think of what to do with the dirty diaper. I was sure I wasn't supposed to put it in his diaper pail like this. I also didn't want Mrs. Hanson to know Shawn pooped in his diapers in case he would get in trouble. Unsure what to do I asked Shawn, "Shawn, what does your mommy do when you poop in your diapers?" "Mommy washes it in the potty." I looked inside the toilet. The water was clean but I didn't want to put my hands in it. "Are you sure? What does your mommy do with it when she's finished washing it?" "Yes, I'm sure. I've watched her. After mommy washes the poopie off, mommy puts my diaper in the bucket." "She puts your diaper in the diaper pail in your room?" "Uh-huh." Great, I'm holding a poopie diaper and now I have to rinse it in the toilet. Yuck! I thought a minute and seeing no other solution I put the diaper into the toilet and moved it around with one hand to try to get the poop off. The poop fell off but the stains weren't coming out. I finally had to put my other hand in and rub the diaper together over the stains to get them out. When the poop stains were gone I lifted the diaper out of the toilet and flushed it. Water ran out of the diaper as I held it but I wouldn't be able to carry it into Shawn's room until I had wrung it out. Since I didn't have a choice, I folded the diaper and used both hands to wring it out. Then, when it stopped dripping, I ran into Shawn's room and put it into his diaper pail. When I came back to the bathroom I washed my hands, using lots of soap. I then went to put on my diapers. I put my diaper and plastic pants on but I didn't put my shorts back on since I would be taking my diapers back off when Mrs. Hanson came home so I could carry them home. I then went to finish Shawn's bath. Shawn was still playing not understanding what I had just gone through because he thought it would be fun to have a pooping contest with Eric. As I finished washing Shawn I told him, "Shawn, did you like wearing diapers today?" "Yep, it was nice." "What did Eric think of your diapers?" "He didn't really believe that I wore diapers but now he does. He likes having a friend that wears diapers too... He thought it was neat when I pooped my diapers." "I'm sure he did, but I don't want you to poop in your diapers again. Ok?" "Why, it's fun." "I'm sure it is, but it's not fun for me to clean the poop out of your diapers. When you poop your diapers we'll have to come home early too. So if you want to keep wearing your diapers you have to promise not to poop in them again. Promise?" Shawn thought a minute. "Can I still wet in them?" "Yes, just no poopies!" Shawn giggled, "Ok, I won't go poopie." As I got Shawn out of the tub I said, "Good. Now it's still early so let's get you diapered and we'll have a snack and watch some cartoons." Once I had Shawn ready for bed we went to the den and I put a tape of cartoons in the VCR and Shawn laid down to watch. I then went to the kitchen to get some cookies and milk for us. We had our snack and soon after finishing, Shawn fell asleep hugging his bunny. I must have fallen asleep soon after because Mrs. Hanson came home to find both of us sound asleep on the sofa. Mrs. Hanson woke me and we took Shawn to his room and put him to bed. We then went to her room. Mrs. Hanson began checking my diaper saying, "I see you didn't put your shorts on again." I blushed a little and said, "No, I planned to take my diapers off and carry them home so I didn't see a reason to put my shorts back on. I wasn't sure they would fit over my thick diapers anyway." "That's ok. Pull your plastic pants off and I'll take your diaper off. Are you still dry?" "I think so." "We'll know in a second." Mrs. Hanson unpinned my diapers and pulled it away. "Yes, you're dry. You put your underpants and shorts on and I'll refold your diapers and put them and your plastic pants in a bag... Did you bring your wet diapers back today?" I stopped pulling on my shorts and said, "Oh-no, I forgot again. I'm sorry." "You promised you wouldn't forget. I need to wash them because you have only one more clean diaper. If you wet your diaper here tomorrow night you won't have a diaper to wear at home tomorrow night." As she finished packing my diaper bag she said, "You will need to bring your wet diapers here early tomorrow morning before I go to work. I'll wash them and put them in the dryer before I leave for work" "What time should I come?" "You need to bring them over before eight o'clock! Ok?" I would have to come over before breakfast. I would have to set my alarm so I wouldn't over sleep and then I would have to sneak out with my bag of wet diapers. What a pain, but it WAS my fault that I was out of diapers. "Ok." I had finished getting dressed and Mrs. Hanson handed me my diaper bag. She led me to the door and I walked home. When I got home I didn't go inside, instead I went around to the back of the house. I didn't want to explain what I had in the bag again so I had decided to put the bag on my window ledge and bring it into the house through my window. I put the bag next to my window and then went inside. After my parents had gone to bed I went to the bathroom and then to my room to get ready for bed. I opened the screen on my window and retrieved my diaper bag. I then went to my drawer to get my diaper pins and powder. When I came near the drawer I could detect a familiar smell, stale pee and ammonia. When I opened the drawer it almost knocked me down. My drawer smelled worse than my room ever did. I got my diaper stuff and quickly closed the drawer. I went to the bed and put on my diapers and plastic pants. I set my alarm clock, turned out the light and went to bed. I fell asleep happy that I had finally developed a reliable method for bringing my diapers into the house. Now I shouldn't have any trouble keeping my diapers a secret from my parents. I would however, have to remember to take my wet diapers back to Shawn's house everyday from now on. -- Chapter Eleven -- In the morning I woke just before my alarm was to go off. I turned off the alarm and got out of bed. My bed was dry but my diapers were soaked, just as they had been for the last few days. My thicker diapers had been able to handle my nightly wetting but just barely. I had been drinking more fluids in the evening then I had before I started wearing diapers again, but my fluids were still restricted because I had to sneak water when I was at home. I was worried that if I drank anymore during the evening or was not forced to sneak water at home I would flood even my thick diapers. My plastic pants could still accommodate thicker diapers but I wasn't sure I wanted to wear my diapers any thicker. As I took off my diapers and plastic pants I decided not worry about thicker diapers yet. I was still planning not to tell mom or dad about my diapers so my fluids would still be restricted at home. If I didn't drink too much at Shawn's in the evening and didn't sneak any water at home my current diapers should handle my wetting ok. I got the bag with the diapers from the previous nights. When I opened the bag to put my wet diapers in I was almost knocked down by the stink. It smelled like my room had the week before only concentrated. I also noticed that some of my diapers in the bag were a dark gray color. I hurriedly put last night's diapers in and closed the bag. I then dropped the bag out my window. I grabbed a clean pair of underpants and shorts and went to the bathroom. I cleaned my diaper area and put on my underpants and shorts. When I came out of the bathroom I could hear my dad taking a shower in my parents bathroom. I hoped my mom was still getting ready, too. I quickly put on my shoes and went outside. I grabbed my bike and went around back to get the bag with my wet diapers. I then rode to Shawn's house as fast as I could. Shawn answered the door dressed in the diapers and plastic pants I had put on him the night before. Just like last time they were very wet and in need of being changed. Shawn yelled, "Mommy, David's here... and he has a bag of dirty diapers with him." Then to me he said, "Are all those diapers wet?" I didn't want a repeat of what happened Saturday so I hung on to the bag of diapers and just nodded my head. Then from the back of the house I heard, "Shawn, bring David to the laundry room." Shawn grabbed my hand as he yelled back, "Ok mommy!" When I entered the laundry room Mrs. Hanson was loading up the washer. By the smell I was sure it was with Shawn's or my diapers. Mrs. Hanson finished emptying the diaper pail and turned towards me. "David, give me your bag of diapers." I handed her my diaper bag and she opened the bag. She looked inside and quickly jerked her head aside and held the bag out away from her. "DAVID! These diapers have started to mildew! I'm going to have to presoak them with bleach and hope they come clean... We need to have a long talk about how to take care of your diapers." Shawn started to giggle and Mrs. Hanson turned on him. "Shawn, you go watch TV, I'll come change you as soon as I finish with David... Now scoot!" Shawn turned to go, muttering, "Aw mom!" I still hadn't said anything and was worried that Mrs. Hanson was mad at me and might fire me, or worse yet not give me diapers anymore. I also wanted to get back home before my parents noticed I was gone. "I'm real sorry Mrs. Hanson, I won't let it happen again." "I should hope not! Let me put these smelly things in the washer and we'll have a talk." "Um, Mrs. Hanson... I know I've been irresponsible by not bringing my wet diapers back everyday but... uh." "But what?" "But I need to get back home before my parents know I've been out and have to explain where I've been, and why." Mrs. Hanson looked thoughtful and finally said, "Ok, you better head home but don't think I'm finished with you. We'll talk about this when I come home tonight." "Thanks Mrs. Hanson... for everything." I turned to go as she was putting bleach into the washer. I rode home and quietly went inside. Mom was already in the kitchen making breakfast so I tried to walk through as if nothing was out of the ordinary, hoping mom wouldn't notice me. It didn't work. "David, where have you been so early this morning?" Mom didn't sound upset, just curious. I thought fast and figured the truth was best, at least some of the truth. I said, "I went to Shawn's house." "Why did you have to go there so early in the morning?" "Oh, just babysitting stuff." I hoped mom would not ask what kind of stuff. "Oh... Well, since you're up early do you want me to fix you some breakfast?" "What are you fixing?" "Bacon and eggs for your father." I hated eggs and mom knew I hated eggs but she always kept trying to make me eat them. "No, I'll just fix a bowl of cereal but, could I have some bacon?" She turned towards me and gave me that 'your should know better' look and said, "You know the rules, no eggs, no bacon." "Never mind, I'll just have cereal." As I fixed my cereal I thought about how much I hated that rule. Anytime I wanted to have bacon I would also have to have an egg. I could have two pieces of bacon with each egg so I never had more than two pieces. Mom would fix me a scrambled egg and I would cover it with ketchup. I would then eat the nasty thing first to get it over with and then enjoy the bacon. The only other time I got to have bacon or sausage was on Sunday then mom would fix pancakes, waffles, biscuits or muffins. When I finished my cereal I went to the den and watched some TV. Then after discovering there wasn't anything I liked on, I went to my room to play on my computer. This was why I slept late most mornings. First I enjoyed sleeping in the morning since during the school year I couldn't. I had to get up early every morning to take a shower, eat breakfast and go to school. I even had to get up early on the weekends. On Saturdays I had to get up or I'd miss Saturday morning cartoons, well I guess that was my choice. Then on Sundays I had to get up early to go to church. Second, I'd have to watch dad eat his bacon or sausage while I couldn't have any unless I ate an egg. Then third, there wasn't anything on TV in the morning, during the week, so I preferred to stay up late instead. I played some games on my computer until ten and then went to my friends house so we could play some more "Space Quest". That evening after Shawn and I had dinner I took him home and like the day before, put him in his diapers. We then went to the park. Some of Shawn's friends were playing at the park but Eric wasn't there. I was worried that Shawn would not want to play with his other friend's since he was wearing his diapers, but he went straight over to play. I sat on the swings to watch. After a little while Shawn and his friends came over to the swing. There were not enough swings for everyone so I got off and went to sit on the bench in front of the swings. First, Shawn and one of his friends started swinging. After a while both of them were swinging very high, so high that the swing's chain would go slack at the top of their swing. His other friend stood out in front and as I tried to understand what they were doing Shawn jumped off the swing. He sailed up into the air and out and landed at least eight feet from the swing. The boy in front marked his landing spot and then the other boy jumped. The boys compared jumps and then the boy who was watching took a swing. I decided that this looked like fun and took the other swing. When we both were swinging at max the other boy jumped. He sailed up and away and seemed to have out jumped both of the other boys. I was the only one on the swing now and it was my turn to jump. It was really surprising how high I was swinging. From the ground it didn't look like they were going this high. As they watched, I worked up the courage to jump but I was taking to long and now Shawn and his friends were taunting me to jump. It was too late to stop the swing and get off so I had to jump, and soon, or I would loose all my nerve. I finally let go at the top of the swing's arc. I sailed almost straight up and then straight down. I landed with a mighty crash into the sand. When I recovered my senses I got up and saw that I had gone about two feet. Shawn and his friends were on the ground laughing and telling me how funny I looked as I rose almost straight up off the swing. I was covered with sand but was unhurt so I decided I would try again. Shawn and the other boy got on the swings and started swinging. They were pumping really hard to get high and as Shawn pushed out at the top of his swing I could see his blue plastic pants through the leg holes of his shorts. On the next swing, Shawn jumped and landed feet first. His feet slid out from underneath him and he slid on his butt to a stop in front of me. His shorts and shirt were full of sand, and what was worse, his shorts were pulled up with the bulk of his diapers and plastic pants hanging out the leg hole. I went over to him to check to be sure he wasn't hurt but he was smiling and brushing out the sand. He had untucked his shirt and was shaking the sand out when I got to him. His blue plastic pants showed, above the waistband of his shorts, all around and I was afraid that his friends were going to notice his diapers and baby pants. I moved to block their view and helped him brush out the sand. I then pulled up his diapers and plastic pants and adjusted his shorts so his diapers weren't showing below the leg of his shorts. I then helped him tuck his shirt back in. After I finished I looked to see if Shawn's two friends had noticed his diapers. They were both swinging high, signaling for us to move so they could jump. It appeared that they hadn't noticed or didn't care. It also didn't appear that Shawn had noticed that his diapers were showing or he didn't care either. We got out of the way and the two boys jumped. Shawn and I then took our turn. Shawn's jump took him the farthest so far and mine, well at least I didn't go straight up this time, but I didn't come close to the other boys marks either. When I landed Shawn came over to me and said, "David, can we go home now?" "Ok, you don't want to swing anymore?" "No, I got sand in my diapers and now they're wet and itchy." "Ok, say goodbye and we'll head home." Shawn said goodbye and we started for home, with Shawn walking a little like he had the day before when he had filled his diapers. The boys said bye and went on swinging. His friends didn't appear to care that Shawn was wearing diapers because there was no doubt, unless they were deaf, that they hadn't heard Shawn tell me that his diapers were 'wet and itchy'. When we got inside I told Shawn to strip down to his diapers and plastic pants while I went and got his bath ready. When he came into the bathroom, in just his diapers and plastic pants, I had him stand on the tile floor and pulled down his plastic pants. They were full of sand and lots of sand was also stuck to his very wet diapers. I had him step out of his plastic pants and unpinned and pulled off his diapers. I put Shawn into the tub and took his diapers to the toilet to shake out the sand. Some of the sand came off but finally I saw I had no choice but to rinse out the diaper in the toilet again. It wasn't as yucky as it had been the day before, with all the poop, but I still didn't like it. I wrung out his diapers and took them to Shawn's room and put them in his diaper pail. I then returned to the bathroom and rinsed the sand out of his plastic pants in the sink. After putting Shawn's plastic pants in his diaper pail I cleaned up the sand that had gotten on the bathroom floor. With everything all clean and Shawn still playing in the tub I went to put on my diapers. My diapers, plastic pants and everything else I needed to get diapered were ready for me on Mrs. Hanson's bed. I took off my shorts and underpants and laid them neatly on her bed. I then pinned on my diapers and pulled on my plastic pants. They were orange today. I left my shorts and underpants on her bed since I would have to take off or change my diapers before I went home. Besides, I was starting to like just wearing my diapers and plastic pants. I went back to the bathroom to finish bathing Shawn. The bubbles were gone, a sure sign that he had been really dirty, so I lathered a washrag with soap and proceeded to give him a through bath. When I finished washing and rinsing his hair I saw that the bath water was filthy so I had him stand and I rinsed him with the shower spray nozzle. I held his hand and turned and sprayed him to remove the soap and dirt from his body. Shawn giggled as I sprayed him, enjoying what I'm sure he thought to be the ultimate water fight. I lifted Shawn out of the tub and dried him off. I dried his hair and wrapped the towel around his head. I then led him to his room and lifted him onto the diapers I had previously laid out on his crib. When I had removed Shawn's wet diaper before his bath I had noticed a few red bumps on his bottom and knew it was the start of a possible diaper rash, something I would have to watch out for, too. To ensure the rash didn't get any worse, I got his diaper rash cream and rubbed it over his diaper area. Shawn just lay on his crib sucking his thumb as I applied the cream and finished diapering him. When I finished diapering Shawn I picked up his plastic pants and started to put his feet through the leg holes. Shawn quickly pulled his feet back and popped his thumb out of his mouth. Shawn then said, a little excitedly, "No, I want orange baby pants... Like yours!" Shawn then put his thumb back in his mouth and lay back waiting, staring at what I now realized were my diapers and plastic pants. The whole time I had been diapering him he had been looking at my diapers. I refolded the yellow baby pants I was going to put on Shawn and went to his dresser to put them back and see if he had a orange pair. For the first time, as I looked for a orange pair of baby pants, I saw how many pairs of plastic pants Shawn had. The entire drawer was full of baby pants in six colors not including white. I found and took an orange pair, there were several in fact, and replaced the yellow pair. Then, curious, I compared his baby pants to my plastic pants, they were the same. The colors were almost identical, in fact they were identical in every way except mine were much bigger. I went back to Shawn's crib and, for the second time, started putting on his baby pants. I put Shawn's feet through the leg holes and pulled his baby pants up to his knees. I then stood Shawn up and pulled up his baby pants over his diapers. Once I made sure his diapers were all tucked inside I lifted him onto the floor. I led Shawn to the bathroom to finish drying and comb his hair. I put him into a clean T-shirt and then started to lead him back to the kitchen to have a bedtime snack. Once out the bathroom door I started walking one way but Shawn grabbed my hand and led me in another. I let him lead me into his mom's room and to her mirror. Shawn stood in front of the mirror and pulled me beside him. Shawn then popped his thumb out of his mouth and said what I was thinking. "David, I look just like you do... We are like brothers." "Well, we are cousins. Your mommy and my mommy are sisters." "Are cousins like brothers?" "Well, I guess. We are related anyway. I guess we're like brothers." "Good, I want a brother... Mommy says I can't have one so you will have to be my brother... OK?" I picked Shawn up. I was surprised he wanted a brother and even more surprised he wanted me to be his brother. I gave Shawn a hug and a pat on his diapered bottom. "Ok Shawn, if you want I can be your older brother." Shawn pushed away so he could look me in the face and said, "You not my older brother, you just my bigger brother." Confused I said, "What's the difference?" "Older brothers don't wet bed and pants or wear diapers and baby pants. You wet your bed and pants just like me... Now you wear diapers and baby pants just like me... So you are just like me only bigger." Shawn's five year old logic seemed pretty good. Was I really just a big toddler. Did older boys really wet their bed and pants, did they really wear diapers and baby pants. Shawn's mom had said they did and why else would they sell plastic pants in my size, but were the other children my age older or just bigger, too. I didn't know but I decided I wasn't going to worry about it now. To Shawn I said, "Ok, I'm your bigger brother... Now let's go get a snack, I'm hungry and you need to get to bed soon." I fixed us a snack and afterwards I put Shawn to bed. I then went to watch TV until Mrs. Hanson came home. Mrs. Hanson woke me up when she came home and then led me to her room so she could remove my wet diapers. As Mrs. Hanson took off my diapers and cleaned me up she talked to me about responsibility and about how much my diapers cost. She told me how disappointed she was that I had allowed my diapers to almost be ruined. She said if I ever allowed them to get in that condition again she wouldn't let me use them at home anymore. As I put on my underpants and shorts I told her again that I was sorry and that I wouldn't let it happen again. When I was dressed she gave me a bag with my diaper and plastic pants for tonight. She then led me to the door and sent me home. I went home, going to my window first to put my diaper bag on the window sill. I then went around front and went in just like normal. After watching some TV with my parents I went to my room, retrieved my diapers and plastic pants and put them on and went to bed.