JUSTIN *WARNING* The beginning of this story (first two parts) may be disturbing to some readers. Chapter 1-Introduction "Cough Cough COUGH!!!" I rolled over and clutched my stomach, and continued coughing. Every time I would take a breath, the cold air around me entered my body and made me shiver uncontrollably. I tried to get my meager blanket to cover my chest and arms and back. The wetness of my diaper is cold against my skin, and it burns from a horrible rash. Tears rolled down my face, and I can't control them. The pitch black of the night outside my window scares me, and I close my eyes. My name is Justin McCarthy. I am 16 years old, with blond hair and blue eyes. I weigh about 120 lbs, and I am 5 foot 5. I never grew to my potential due to malnutrition. I was thin and lanky. My blond hair was cut oddly, and my skin was often covered in bruises and scabs. I lived with my parents in a small house in Dedham, Massachusetts. My room is pitiful. A small room with plain brown walls, a book shelf, my large crib and a changing table. Not very fitting for a 16 year boy. A cracked window allows the weather to be felt on my light, soft skin. I roll over and feel that I have messed my self, and then the tears come more powerfully. I have always been in diapers. My parents never potty trained me. I don't think that they were ready for the responsibilities of parenthood. My mother, Ellie, was 14 when she had me, and my dad, Charlie, was 17. With strict Catholic families, they were forced to marry and unable to divorce. I don't really remember that much about my childhood, but my treatment got worse and worse as the years went by. My parents were cut off entirely from their families. Except for my mother's older sister Karen, and her husband Bill and daughter Jillian. They were the only relatives that we ever saw. They visited occasionally, and my mother and aunt would fight about the way I was being treated and how is was disgusting. Aunt Karen once threatened to call the police. One time, Aunt Karen said to me Someday I could live with her and she would take care of me. Then I would cry, and be taken from the room by my mother, humiliated by my behavior, and locked into my crib in the dark. I hated the dark, my parents knew that and therefore there we no lights ever to be turned on in my room. At School, it was almost as bad as at home. My parents did not do much as for supplying me with clothes. I really only had a few pairs of tattered sweatpants and jeans, and some thin shirts. the pants allowed for constant views of my diapers, which was most humiliating. I had no friends at all. I got beat up, tortured, harassed. The school nurse would scowl at me when I came to her office for a change. Eventually, tired of her disapproving stares, I stopped going to her, and often would remain in my messy diapers all school day. But nothing was as bad as my home life. My father would physically beat me for wetting my self, or making a mess, or doing any thing in his presence. Sometimes he would pour ice water into my diapers, just for his own amusement We never really talked, and I tried to stay out of his way. I think that my mother was afraid of him too, he was a big guy, about 6'1 with a growing pot belly. He worked construction. My mother would only change me 2 or 3 times a day, leaving me in soiled, leaky diapers for hours at a time. She told me absolute how I was a mistake, how she despised me, how I was a waste of life. She never took me to the doctor, so therefore I was always sick, and always wet. I can't remember a day when I didn't have diaper rash. Mom had a slim frame, and wild blond hair, she was a waitress. My dad hit me and smacked me around when he was drunk, or tired of arguing with my mother. Chapter 2- Last Days I woke up feeling like vomiting. A terrible smell permeated from me. Between my legs was a whole day's worth of pee and poop. It was cold and was leaking out of the sides if I moved around too much. I put my head down onto the bare mattress and closed my eyes, thinking about how I wished I could be anywhere but here. Suddenly, my door burst open, shocking me back into reality. It was my mother. Wordlessly she unlocked my crib and let down the bar. "Get up there," she said, motioning towards the changing table. I got up out of my crib and stretched, I had been in my crib for 2 days straight. "NOW!" she said, and I hurried on to the table. "Jesus Christ, this is so disgusting, when are you ever going to grow up, you stupid baby?!" my mother exclaimed upon opening the tapes of my diaper. I stayed silent, not wanting to provoke her. She did a sloppy job as usual cleaning me up, and put me into a new diaper. "And don't even think of coming to me if you shit yourself again, I'll change you when I feel like it." And that was it. She left the room. I sat there for a moment and looked out the window. The sky was gray and the wind was picking up. I grabbed a long sleeve t shirt and put it on. Pants were not allowed. It was Saturday and I was grateful. No school. I left my room and snuck into the bathroom down the hall. I was often "encouraged" to use the toilet, so if my parents saw me doing so, they were pleased, they didn't like keeping me in diapers, but I was never able to be potty trained. No doctor could explain it. The babyish treatment was to keep me in line and to try to force me out of diapers, while in reality it just kept me in them. In the bathroom I removed my diaper and wiped myself clean with a towel and clean water. I had the worst diaper rash you could ever imagine. seeing it brought tears to my eyes. but I fought them back. I taped myself up and left for the living room. I lay on the couch and watched TV for a bit. My throat burned and I desperately wanted something to drink. I didn't learn how to drink out of cups, just baby bottles, bottle necked dinks and straws. I grabbed the milk from the fridge, and opened a cabinet to get out a bottle. In the process I knocked a glass of the shelf, and it shattered on the floor. Panic struck. My mother would be furious, surely she would tell my dad and he would whack the hell out of me. "What the hell...?" I saw my mother standing before me in the doorway. "What the hell did you just break?" I looked at the glass on the floor. She looked, too, her face was slowly growing red. "Oh you are so going to get it when your father gets home..." She grabbed my arm and dragged me into my room. "Get in your crib NOW!" I got in and she locked the gate and put the top hatch over and locked that, too. Tears started to flow down my cheeks. "Oh, the poor wittle baby is crying. Well, you can just sit here and think about what you did," she said coldly. "Mom please, I'm sorry, it was an accident, I'll clean it up I promise! Please..." I begged "SHUT UP! I don't want to hear it, stay here and I'll send daddy in to take care of you as soon as he gets home." She laughed and left me alone. I cried harder now. I was so scared. My father was surely going to spank me, and with this rash, it would surely be excruciating. Then I started to pray, I prayed that someone would take me away from here. Then I closed my eyes and tried to go to sleep. I woke up to hear my dad coming in the front door. My mother greeted him and I heard her talking, but I was unable to understand what she was saying. My father replied "What?! Oh, this is it!" I heard his foot steps headed towards me, I was so scared that I hopelessly wet myself. The door burst open and my father stood there, red in the face and fuming. "What makes you think that you can just go breaking anything you want to, huh? You think your so tough?! We'll see who is tough!" He unlocked my crib and lifted me out. He carried me to a nearby chair and ripped off my diaper. "PLEASE NO DON'T DO IT I'M SORRY I'M SORRY!!" I screamed. but to no avail. WHACK WHACK WHACK! I screamed and cried some more "This will teach you, you little brat!" He yelled. After about 5 minutes of continuous spanking, my father stopped. He stood me up and punched me in the face. He wrestled me to the ground and hit me some more all over my body. He turned me over onto my stomach, grabbed me by my hair and slammed my head onto the floor. I felt the blood trickle down from my forehead and out of my mouth. He grabbed my by the back of the neck and dragged me to my crib and tossed me like a rag doll into it. He laughed and left the room. I was totally naked. I cried and cried and cried. But no one came to comfort me. slowly, I felt my mind slipping, and I passed out. Chapter 3-Rescue I woke up that night, I was lying in a puddle of my own urine, blood and poop. I couldn't move, my body ached and my face hurt terribly. My forehead burned with a raging fever. I lay there for a few moments, silently. Until I saw lights pulling into our driveway, I heard several voices, and a knock at the door. My mother answered it. I could barely make out the conversation. "Hello?" "Hello Ma'am, I'm detective Smith, and this is Ms. Sullivan, a social worker," Said a man's voice. "Your neighbors called us today about hearing screaming, like someone was being murdered, would you know anything about that, ma'am?" the officer asked my mother. "No I can't say that I have..."mom replied. "WHO is at the Door Ell?!" my dad bellowed. "Cops," she said back. "Ma'am do you have any children?" asked the social worker. "Yeah, uh, I have a son." she replied. "Ma'am, could we please just speak with your son for a moment?" "Um, he's asleep, come back another time." "I must insist, ma'am." "Um, uh, ok, fine, hold on one second." My mother came into my room and closed the door, she came over to me and told me not to say a word or I was dead. The officer opened the door, to my mother's surprise and turned on his flashlight. "JESUS CHRIST!" He screamed, the look of horror on his face was unforgettable, the social worker followed him immediately, and was shocked by my state of living. "Ma'am.." The young officer's voice was shaky, "I think he will be coming with us now." "You can't do that!" my mother yelled, my father was now in the door way "What the fuck is going on? He is not going ANYWHERE!" "I'm afraid he is sir" said the social worker. The officer called for back up, and escorted my parents out of the room. the social worker turned on the overhead light and looked at me. "You poor dear, no one is going to hurt you anymore..." She sort of trailed off. Another officer came into my room. "Help me get him into the bathroom..." She said "Bring me a diaper from that shelf, I think he may be needing it." The officer wrapped me in a blanket and carried me into the bathroom. I heard my parents yelling, and the officer reading them their rights. In the bathroom, the social worker cleaned me off and put me into a clean diaper. She cleaned the dried blood from off of my face and looked at me. "You're going to be ok, honey, we're going to take good care of you...." I couldn't hear what came after that because I passed out again. "Justin?" I heard my name coming from somewhere. "Justin? Wake up honey, just open your eyes..." I slowly opened my eyes. my vision was blurry, but it cleared up quickly. I saw a young woman staring down at me. She smiled and pushed my hair off of my forehead. "Hey there, cutie pie, how are you feeling?" she asked. I tried to speak but no words came out, just babble. I couldn't even talk. Inside my head I was panicking, screaming for help and answers. I looked around frantically, I was in a brightly colored hospital room. It was daytime, and there was a nurse in the corner, holding a diaper and changing supplies. I started to get up. I could feel that I had a tube going into my nose, connected to an oxygen outlet in the wall. "It's ok, it's ok, don't worry, just relax, honey, Justin...Justin, tell me what you want." She said, holding me down to the bed by my arms. I struggled and tried to scream, now it was coming out, I screamed and screamed, panicking. The more I screamed, the worse the pain in my throat got, it burned. My butt hurt badly, and I felt really, really wet. I started to cry and began kicking. "Hanna, strap his legs down, he's panicking!" I was restrained to the bed with straps. "Shhhhh, shhhhh..." said the first nurse, touching my forehead and leaning in close. "You're ok, we're just going to change your diaper, ok? Can we do that for you?" She asked softly. I nodded my head and continued crying. I was so confused, I tried to ask them what happened, but nothing came out, just babble and crying sounds. "Poor kid," said Hanna, "He's so scared, I don't think he can talk." "I know, I can't believe that there are people out there that would do this to their own child." The first nurse lifted up my hospital gown, revealing a plain white diaper, much like the ones I wore at home. It had a bright yellow strip on the front, indicating that I was wet. "Justin, stay still, we are just going to change you, ok?" Hanna said to me. I nodded. I was embarrassed to be changed by these two young women, both very pretty. They untaped me and pulled the wet diaper out from under me. The first nurse wiped me off carefully, and applied some cream to my rash, which immediately soothed the burning and itching. She powdered heavily me and slipped a fresh diaper under me, and taped me up. Being in a fresh, clean, powdered diaper was one of the best feelings I had had in a long time. "There, all better sweetie, is there anything I can get for you?" She asked. "Wa...Wat....Wa..Er" I managed to get out. "Water?" I nodded furiously. Hanna gave the first nurse a cup of water with a straw. I just looked at it, I didn't know how to drink from a straw all of a sudden. I started to cry again. "What's wrong?" Hanna asked the first nurse. "Ba...Ba...I nee Ba..." I struggled to say, meaning that I needed a bottle. "I think he wants a bottle..." Hanna said to the first nurse. "I'll go get one from the kitchen, just stay here and talk to him ok?" Hanna got up and left. "Justin, my name is Tammy. You are in the hospital, you were brought here from your home last night, you've been unconscious for quite sometime, but you are safe now with us, and we are going to take good care you, do you understand me?" Tammy asked sweetly, holding my hand. I nodded and turned away from her as more tears fell down my cheek. I felt like my chest was going to explode. Hanna returned with a baby bottle filled with water. She handed it to Tammy and she put the nipple to my lips. I drank furiously, the cool water soothing my burning throat. I finished most of it. "There, all better, do you need anything else?" Asked Tammy. "I...I...I...sca...wd" I tried to tell her I was scared and confused, but only babyish babble came out. "It's ok, you are safe now, we'll be back in a little bit to check on you ok honey, just push this button if you need us, ok?" Tammy said. I nodded at her and the two of them left. I was alone in my room. I continued to cry. Although I was out of my prison, I felt like I was in a mental house now. What was going to happed to me? Where were my parents? Where would I go from here? The more I thought about it the harder I cried, until I was practically wailing. No words came out, just more and more babble. I started to cough. Tammy came back into the room. "Justin, what's wrong? What do you need?" She asked. "I...stuck" I said, trying to tell her to let me out of the restraints. "You want me to take the restraints off?" she asked. I nodded. She unstrapped me and I stretched a bit. Then, a doctor came in. He was an older man, and was carrying a folder. He had white hair and glasses, he looked friendly enough. "Hey Justin, I'm Dr. Marx, How are we doing today?" I just kind of looked at him. "He doesn't seem to be able to talk Dr. Marx." Tammy said softly to him. "Hmmmm," the doctor said and wrote something down in his folder. He listened to my heart, and breathing, and checked my bandages. "You're doing better then you were last night, son," he said to me, then turned to Tammy. "How is the infection?" "It's pretty bad, it seems to be hurting him a lot, and there is still some bleeding, but we check him every 10 minutes to make sure it stays dry." "What about his temp?" "100.1, going down." "Good, Good, well, give him a lot of fluids, and if he wants to eat, no solids, his throat is almost swollen shut from strep. Jell-O or ice cream, you know? Put him on the oxygen mask if he needs it, and keep an eye on that concussion, I'll be back in a few hours to check on him. Ok Justin? Tammy will take good care of you." He said turning to me smiling, and writing more things into his notebook. I nodded. He left and Tammy followed him. "Hey!" I heard a soft voice next to me. "Wha?" I said back. The curtain to my right opened and there stood a young boy, maybe a little younger then me. I sat up and hid my exposed diaper under my hospital gown. "Are you ok? You sure do have a loud voice, you scream a lot, I'm George, I'm 13, I got hit by a car 3 days ago, why are you here? Is it true you can't talk? Why are you wearing a diaper?" He talked so fast and jumbled I could barely make out each question. I was still crying. "Don't cry, boys don't cry. Why are you here?" I tried to tell him, but no words came out, only more gibberish. "You can't talk, can you? " I shook my head no. "I'm sorry that you are hurt, hey hold on a second." He grabbed his crutches and walked over to the far wall, and grabbed a laminated piece of paper. He showed it to me. It had pictures on it. There were happy and sad faces, scared faces. Pictures of toilets and food and drinks, nurses and a family. "What are you feeling?" he asked me. I pointed to the scared face. And then the pain face. "I'm sorry, do you want me to get Tammy or Hanna...?" Hanna walked in just at that moment. "George, get back in bed, you aren't supposed to be walking around. Have you met Justin?" She said, lifting him back onto his bed and tucking him in. "Yeah, we just met, here, use the chart, he can read!" George said, feeling accomplished that he had found a way to communicate with me. Every 10 minutes Tammy or Hanna came into the room to check my diaper. The doctor had given strict orders that my infection was to stay dry. The hospital was a strange place. There was a TV on the wall across from me, and I tried to watch it, but I wasn't in the mood. I tried to sleep, but I kept being woken up. It was frustrating and scary. George had visitors all day. His family and friends. It made me feel awful when I could hear them all laughing and talking about how George was coming home that day. The slim social worker from my house walked into my room and smiled at me. "Hello Justin, how are you feeling this afternoon?" She asked pulling up a chair next to me. I tried to say "ok", but it came out as "A kay." "Justin, can you talk?" I shook my head no and started to cry again. "It's alright dear, have you always been unable to speak?" I shook my head no again. "Why can't you talk now, Justin, is it because your throat hurts?" I shook my head no again, I grabbed the laminated card and pointed to the scared face, and then I pointed to the sentence "I don't know.". "You are scared and you don't know why you can't talk? Is that right, Justin?" I nodded. "Justin, do you know what has happened to you? Do you want me to tell you?" I nodded again hesitantly. "Ok, we received a few calls last night from some of your neighbors, saying that they heard screaming coming from your house, and that they had heard screaming and the sounds of struggling before. We came to your house and brought you here last night, you were unconscious for a very long time, but you are going to be ok, we are giving you lots of medicine and will take good care of you. Do you have any family besides your parents?" I nodded and reached for her pen and pad of paper. She gave it to me and I wrote down "Aunt Karen and Uncle Bill, they live in New Hampshire, I think the phone number is 603 555 7723." I had memorized it just in case I ever needed her help. "Ok, we are going to give them a call. Is there anything else you want to tell me?" She asked, handing me back the pad of paper. I wrote, "I want to be with my aunt and uncle, please don't send me home, I am so scared." She read my message and smiled. "You are staying right here, now get some rest." she said. She got up and left the room. I could feel an unpleasant rumbling in my stomach, and all of a sudden I messed my diaper. It was wet and soupy, almost like a liquid. I started to cry harder because it burned my rash. I pushed the nurse's call button. Hanna came in. "Justin, what's wrong?" I pointed to the toilet on the card. "Do you need a changing?" I nodded. Hanna put down the guard rails on either side of me and helped me up, I could barely walk. She helped me into the bathroom and told me to lie down on the floor on a plastic pad that was already there. She took down a thick white diaper from the shelf above me and some supplies. She put on a pair of gloves and untaped me. It was pretty disgusting, and humiliating. But Hanna just smiled and talked softly to me, she told me that it was ok and that this was nothing to be ashamed about. She wiped me off and applied more lotion to my backside. She powdered me again and taped up the new diaper. This one was a lot thicker then the previous one. It made it difficult for me to walk. Hanna helped me back into bed, and gave me my bottle with some water in it. I drank slowly. "There, all better. When you are done, why don't you get some sleep ok, Justin?" I nodded an finished my bottle. She took it and left the room. I rolled over facing the curtain/wall, and drifted into a deep sleep. Chapter 4- Visitors I woke up startled to the feeling of someone touching me. It was a strange nurse changing my wet diaper. "Hi Justin, sorry to wake you. I'm Miranda. I'm the Head PM Nurse for this ward." said the kindly woman. She looked to be about 40 years old, with frizzy red hair. She directed me to roll over onto my stomach. "Justin I'm going to put some water-proof bandages on your backside ok? I don't want you to get an even worse infection." She put the soothing cream all over my butt and genitals, and placed some large bandages onto my swollen butt. "Roll over again please." She slipped a thick diaper underneath me and powdered me heavily. She pulled the front up tight to my crotch, and taped me up. "There we go, all nice and clean. Can I get you anything? I shook my head no. "Alright then, go back to sleep." I looked out my window, it was night time, and my room was lit by a small over head light over George's bed. "He...hey Ge..orge? I called over to my roommate, but I heard nothing. I pulled the curtain back, and saw that George was gone. My heart sank. I was all alone now. I was never going to get out of here I thought to myself. Slowly my eyelids got heavy again, and I fell back asleep. "Mr. and Mrs. Sands?" said Dr. Marx to a couple sitting in the waiting room of the children's ward. "Yes, that's us" The couple stood up and followed the doctor down the hall. They stopped in front of a half opened door. "Mr. and Mrs. Sands, I'm Dr. Marx, Justin's doctor. Justin was brought to us 2 days ago with some pretty serious injuries, He has a serious concussion, and several bruises and cuts all over his body. He has strep throat and a high fever. But he's doing much better now, also, he doesn't seem to be able to talk that well, the whole experience seems to have shocked his system pretty bad, but I think that seeing his family will help. please come with me, the nurses are just finishing changing him right now." "Justin!" Aunt Karen said upon seeing me. She ran over to my bed and threw her arms around me, hugging me tight. I hugged her back and began to cry happy tears. Uncle Bill came over and hugged me as well. Aunt Karen smothered me with big kisses and affection. "Justin sweetheart, how are you feeling?" Karen asked. "Goo..d" I said struggling to talk. The nurses and doctor left the room. "Justin, I'm sorry we couldn't have gotten here sooner, but we only found out about what happened yesterday...." Knock Knock Knock! It was the social worker, Ms. Sullivan. "Oh, hello, you must be Mr. and Mrs. Sands, I'm Ms. Sullivan, we spoke on the phone. I was hoping that we could all just talk about the arrangements for Justin," she said. Arrangements? I thought, what's going on? They all pulled up chairs around my bed and started talking to me. "Justin," said Karen, "Your parents are in jail right now, and will be there for only a few more days until they post bail. After that, if they want custody of you, they will have to go through 90 days of classes and therapy. There is no guarantee that you will go back to live with them, but until the first court hearing, which will be in about 2 weeks, you are going to stay with me and Uncle Bill at our house, and if the judge thinks that your parents will benefit from the classes, they have 90 days to finish the course, after that, we aren't sure what is going to happen, but everything is going to be ok, and you are safe." I felt worried and confused by all this. I was thrilled to be staying with my aunt and uncle, but scared about what was going to happen to me in three months. Ms. Sullivan continued after Karen. "Justin, you will be leaving in about a day, we just need to make sure that you are well enough for homecare ok?" I nodded and smiled. "I..am..weally..gwad dat I can stay wit you auntie," I stuttered. I immediately clasped my hand to my mouth, humiliated that I just spoke like a little baby. "I'm glad that you're staying with us too Justin." said Uncle Bill, patting me on the back. "Justin, are you able to talk now?" Asked Ms. Sullivan. "Yeah, I tink so, a wittle," I said. I couldn't help but talk like this, my brain felt scrambled and mixed up. Aunt Karen and Uncle Bill stayed with me all day, they told me about what was going on at there house, how Jillian was, and other news of my cousins that I hardly ever saw. Tammy and Hanna showed them how to change my diapers, and treat my rash. Uncle Bill had a hard time grasping the whole changing a 16 year old's diaper concept, but Aunt Karen, who had changed me before, knew what to do. She was so gentle, and used lots and lots of powder and cream. The day crept by, with tests and more visits from Dr. Marx. I spent my last night in the hospital, and was all ready to go in the morning. Chapter 5- A New Home All the nurses hugged me goodbye. Tammy and Hanna pulled me aside. "I hope all goes well for you Justin, you can always come to visit us. Said Tammy. "Yes Justin, be good and take care." Said Hanna. They hugged me and gave me kisses on my cheek. I blushed a bright red. I was still having trouble walking, so I was put into a wheelchair and brought downstairs by Aunt Karen. "It's a long drive from here to our house you know, about 4 hours. So just let me know as soon as you need a changing, ok?" said aunt Karen as we walked out into the sunlight of a bright May day. It was cool out, and I was wearing some plaid pajama pants and a long-sleeved white shirt. Aunt Karen had bought them for me. Uncle Bill was waiting for us in the drive way, sitting in a big, black Mercedes. Uncle Bill and Aunt Karen were quite well off. Uncle Bill was a lawyer with a successful firm in Manchester New Hampshire. Aunt Karen was a Nurse at County Hospital in Manchester. They lived about an hour away from work in a small town called Tuftonboro. Aunt Karen had told me all about it yesterday. It was a summer vacation place for many people, and there were a lot of kids for me to meet and go to school with. Aunt Karen helped me into the car, checked my diaper quickly, and we were on our way. I was pretty tired, so I quickly fell asleep. "This is going to be tough Karen..." I heard Uncle Bill say to Aunt Karen. I kept my eyes closed and just listened. ..."I mean, it's like we are taking care of baby again. We both work full time, and I know that you have taken time off, but that's only a few weeks, what are we going to do when you have to go back to work?" "I talked to a friend of mine, she has a son Justin's age, she said he can spend the days' there, and I think that we just need to get Justin settled, and we'll see what happens next." "And what about the diapers? I just don't know if I can get used to it." "I'll take care of that for the first few days, but you are going to have to help me out. And remember, any thing Justin wants, he gets, well, to an extent, but we want him to be as comfortable as possible. Speaking of which..."Aunt Karen reached back into the backseat where I was "sleeping" and slipped her hand into the front of my diaper, to check if I was wet. I was, and she asked Uncle Bill to stop at the nearest gas station. With the bandages, I was a bit more comfortable, but I did want to be changed. A clean fresh diaper was much, much better then a wet, cold one. We pulled over and Aunt Karen woke me up. "Hey there honey, come with me so I can change you, ok?" "Ok" I got up out of the car and slowly made my way into the gas station store. My aunt asked for the key, and we walked around out back to the bathrooms. I was instructed to lay down on a mat on the floor that she has set out. I lay down and she pulled off my pj bottoms. She un taped me and pulled the old diaper out from under me, she checked my bandages and changed them too, she powdered me and slipped a new diaper under me, pulled it up tight, and taped me up. "There, all nice and clean, would you like anything to eat or drink?" she asked me. "Yes, please." I replied, my ability to speak was coming back quickly. We walked into the store and I picked out a bottle of orange juice. We paid for our items, and got back into the car. I just sort of looked at the juice, not really sure how to drink it. I had stayed on the bottle all through my hospital stay. "What's wrong Justin, can you get the cap off?" Ask my aunt. "I can't drink out of this, I um, I...need..a..." I stuttered. "A bottle?" Asked Aunt Karen gently. "Yeah," I said quietly. "Here, pass it up front to me dear." Aunt Karen took the juice and poured it into a bottle that she took out of my diaper bag. She gave it back to me. Uncle Bill looked over at her, and she smiled at him. Then she smiled at me. I drank a little at a time, and realized that I was really, really tired, so I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep, with my bottle still in my mouth. The rest of the trip we made several stops for diaper changes and snacks. I slept most of the way, still a bit tired from the fight with my dad. We drove for 2 more hours. I slept the whole way. I had some pretty strange dreams, strange but pleasurable. I woke up lying in a big white crib. my walls were light beige and there was a changing table across from me. The room smelled like baby powder. A mobile turned above me, playing a soft lullaby. I could feel that my big, thick, warm diaper was wet, and I started to cry, clutching a teddy bear. I noticed I was wearing a light blue fuzzy sleeper. Aunt Karen came in and looked down at me and smiled. "Hello there little baby, why are you crying?" I kept crying. She picked me up and carried me over to the changing table, and ever so carefully unzipped my sleeper, and untaped my wet diaper. She changed me, and I could feel an overwhelming sense of safety and comfort warming over my body. Then she taped me back up and picked me up. She held me and whispered in my ear "You'll always be my little baby Justin....Justin...Justin?" I was startled by my uncle shaking my shoulder. "Wake up sleepy head, we're home." He said smiling. I sat up and yawned, then I got out of the car. I looked up to a large cabin. It was brown with blue shutters. In the drive way, was a beige- gold BMW SUV. There were many pretty wildflowers growing around the perimeter, and a brick walkway led to the front door. I looked around, and saw no other houses near by. just a narrow paved road going in each direction with thick forest around it. It was beautiful. I hoped to God that this would be my new home. I picked up my bottle, which was still lying on the seat, and made my way slowly into the house. Aunt Karen opened the door. The inside was just as nice as the outside. It was warm and cozy. In front of me was the kitchen and dining room, to my right, family room. To the left, and stairway that led to a loft upstairs. I smiled. "Here, let me show you your room alright dear?" Aunt Karen said motioning me towards the stairs. At the top, there were two doors, Aunt Karen opened the door to the left. Uncle Bill was behind, carrying my bag. The room was large with a big bed in the middle, across from the bed was a dresser with a TV and DVD player. Two other dressers, a closet, and in the corner was a small baby crib. I looked at it, and looked at Aunt Karen. "We'll be getting that out of here soon, I just have to find a place for it, we may sell it. The room next door is Jillian's, she's coming home from college this weekend to see you." That's when I realized I didn't know what day it was. "What day is it today?" "It's Wednesday." Said uncle Bill, putting my small bag down at the end of my bed. "I'm going to take you clothes shopping when you get better, but Jillian wrote me about what to buy for you for now to wear until your strength gets back up." Aunt Karen said squeezing my shoulders. I looked at the bed. I had not slept in a real bed all my life. Except for my hospital stay. I felt a bit apprehensive, and for a moment, I missed my old crib. My dream made me think about what it would be like to be a little baby, all warm and happy. As I was looking around, I could feel Aunt Karen slipping her hand down the back of my diaper, which was wet, and told me she would just get the supplies out of the car, and change me. "Wait here, honey," she said, and the two of them walked downstairs. I sat down on the bed. I just sort of stared at the crib for a while. It was smaller then the one at my old house, but I may be able to fit in it. I decided to try later, as I heard aunt Karen coming upstairs. She lay out the changing pad, and told me to lay on it. She pulled down my pj pants, and proceeded to clean me up. "Your rash is doing much better, but just remember that when ever you need to be changed, tell me, I don't want it getting worse ok?" She smiled and powdered me a bit. When I was all taped up, she said "Why don't you take a nap, you must be exhausted, I'll wake you up for dinner ok? Is there anything you need?" She asked hugging me. "Could I have some ice water?" I asked shyly. "Of course, I'll bring it up for you." She tucked me into the soft, warm covers, and kissed me on my forehead. "I'm so happy that you are here with us Justin, if there is anything you ever need, you tell us, we're gonna take good care of you, baby." She turned off the lights and closed the door. only the light from the dark gray sky entered the room. She called me 'baby'. I thought about that for a while. She came back with my bottle after about 5 minutes, and she kissed me again. I sucked for a little while, looking at the ceiling. Sleep was closing in, and I eventually gave in. Chapter 6- A new way of life? THUD! I woke up on the floor. My left side hurt terribly, as I realized what had happened. I had fallen out of bed. "Uuugghhh," I said. I picked myself up and flopped back down onto the soft bed. my whole left side pretty bad, and my head was pounding. tears started to well in the corner of my eyes, but I wiped them away. "Justin? Are you alright?" Called my Uncle from down stairs. "Yeah, I'm fine." I called back, and got back under the covers. THUD! I had fallen out of bed again. This time, I landed on my butt, which hurt pretty bad considering my injuries. I crawled back into bed, and tried to go back to sleep. THUD!! Now this wasn't funny anymore. My whole body was throbbing with pain. I had landed on my butt again, and I realized that I had messed my diaper. The poop was all squished against me, and rather uncomfortable. My head hurt so bad I couldn't see straight. It was now that I started to cry. I heard someone coming up the stairs, I tried to calm down, and stop crying, but before I knew it, Uncle Bill was at the door. He saw me, on the floor, crying, and gave me a very concerned look. He walked over to me and picked me up and sat me on the bed. He sat next to me and put his arm around me. "What's going on Justin? Are you alright, did you fall out of bed?" He asked. "Uh huh.." I whimpered back. "My head hurts." I said, between sobs. "Well, why don't you come downstairs, it's almost dinner time anyway." "Wait, I need to be changed," I said, sobbing. "Oh, ok, um hold on a second." Uncle Bill said nervously. "He took a diaper out of a bag marked "Attends" and took my powder and wipes and placed them on the bed. He pulled down my pants and untaped me. I felt pretty embarrassed, because here was my uncle, changing my soiled diaper. He seemed to be having some trouble. But he managed to wipe me off, and powder me. He put a new diaper on me, but it was a bit loose, so I tightened it my self. He took the dirty diaper and threw it into a plastic bag, and then into a metal garbage can. I pulled my pants on and I stood up with him, but my legs had turned to Jell-O. "Here," he said, I'll help you." He picked me up and told me to hold on to his neck, which I did. Then he carried me down stairs. "Justin, are you alright?" Aunt Karen Asked me. "Yeah, I just fell out of bed." I sniffled. Uncle Bill sat me down in a chair, and brought over my painkillers. He set out one next to my bottle of apple juice on the table. I took a few sips, and swallowed the pill. We ate a large dinner of steak and potatoes. It was the most delicious food I ever had tasted. I savored every bite, and had 4 helpings of everything. We laughed and talked and joked around the dinner table, something my family never did before. I truly felt happy at that moment. At that time, it was about 7:30 pm. "Justin, you can watch TV down here for a little while if you like, but I want you to go to bed soon, you need rest." said Aunt Karen. I helped her clear the table, and I sat down in front of the big screen TV with Uncle Bill. We watched a Movie for a little while, but the pain killer I was on was making me drowsy, and somewhat out of it. I started fall asleep, and was told to go to bed. Aunt Karen checked me diaper, which was dry, kissed me goodnight, and sent me up stairs with a bottle of water. Groggily, I made my way upstairs, entered my room, lay down and fell right asleep. THUD!!! I had fallen out of bed again. I was still groggy when I woke up. I was pretty tired of this, and then I saw the crib. I wondered, what if I slept in it? I figured it couldn't hurt. I'd just let my self out in the morning. I walked over and hopped in. It was too small for me, so I had to curl up, but this is how I normally slept. It was soft and comfy, and instantly I fell asleep. "Justin? Justin?" I woke up slowly, I was facing the wall. I turned over, and say my aunt Karen staring down at me, but instead of looking happy, she looked confused. "Justin dear, what are you doing in the crib?" she asked me, arms crossed. I shot up, realizing what kind of situation I was in. I started to cry. I was so humiliated. "Justin, it's alright, don't worry about it, But why did you want to sleep in the crib?" she asked me, letting the bar down and helping me out. "Because..(sob) I kept (sniff) falling out of bed and it hurt ( sob) and...." Then I paused, and looked at her. "And..." she asked back. "I, um, (sniff) I missed sleeping in my crib, I had this dream and..." I started to tell her about my dream but she interrupted me. "You want to sleep in a crib Justin?" I just sort of stood there for a moment. If I said No, she'd probably forget about it, and take the crib out of my room. But if I said yes, maybe I'd get to be like the little baby I was in my dream, all happy and warm. I thought for a moment, and started to cry harder. "Honey," she said, sitting me down on the bed." Tell me, what do you want?" "I want to sleep in a crib, I want to be a baby." I said quietly. Aunt Karen just sort of stared at me. Her expression was one of those expressions that you can't really pin point an emotion to. But then it changed to a smile. "Justin, I thought that that was how you were treated with your parents?" She said back. "Yeah but, they were mean, I had this dream, where I was a baby in a crib, in a nursery, with a sleeper, and you were there and you took care of me, and it made me feel really happy." I said back. "Justin, if that is what will make you happy, let me talk to your uncle about it, and we'll see what happens. To be continued.