IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY
=====================

	First of all, let me introduce myself. My name is Mark Madsen 
and I'm eleven years old. I'm a pretty normal guy. I live with my 
mom, dad and little sister. I have a dog and cat. I play baseball 
in the spring and soccer in the fall. I'm in the fifth grade, 
since I started Kindergarten a year later than everyone else. I'm 
not the most popular guy in my school, but I have some friends.
	If you saw me playing in the street with my friends, you 
would probably think that I was a perfectly normal kid. However, 
there is one secret I have that makes me really strange. I still 
wear diapers!
	I mean, I not only wear diapers at night; I wear them during 
the day as well. I don't wear diapers every day, but my mom makes 
me wear them whenever I have a lot of accidents. We have a system. 
Sometimes I get to wear underwear, but if I have an accident I 
have to wear Pull Ups. I can get my underwear back, if I go three 
days without an accident. If I have an accident in my Pull Ups, I 
have to wear diapers the next day.
	There are a lot of reasons that I still use diapers and we 
aren't really sure why I still have accidents. I guess I still 
need them, since I do have a lot of accidents. My mom thinks 
diapers are easier than doing extra laundry, so that's why I wear 
them at night. Diapers also keep me from embarrassing myself in 
front of my friends. Sure, I don't want my friends to find out 
that I'm wearing diapers, but I also don't want them to see me wet 
my pants in front of them. My friends don't have to know I'm in 
diapers and don't find out when I have an accident.
	There is another reason that I still wear diapers and you 
can't tell anybody else. This is the part that makes me really 
strange, but I don't care. Truth is; I like them. I like 
everything about them. I like the extra attention I get from my 
parents when they are changing my diaper. My dad works long hours 
and I don't get to see much during the day. He is the one who 
changes my diaper before bed and that's the time we can talk about 
our day. It is our special time together and I wouldn't want to 
change that. I also like it when my mom changes me, because I feel 
so safe. I also like the way diapers feel between my legs. I 
usually wear cloth diapers at home and they are really thick. The 
thick cloth makes me waddle like a little kid and I like that. I 
wear disposable diapers when I'm not home and they feel really 
cool as well. Sometimes they really crinkle and that makes me feel 
all funny inside. Diapers make me feel all warm and fuzzy and I 
love it when I have to wear them.
	It didn't use to be that way. When I was younger, I was like 
every other kid. My little sister, Heather, was potty trained just 
about the time I turned eight. I'm four and a half years older 
than she is, so I should have potty trained before she was born, 
but I still wore Pull Ups when Heather started to potty train. 
Sometime I even wear diapers during the day. My mom used to put me 
in diapers when we were going to out all day long and she knew I 
would have a lot of accidents. She figured as long as she needed 
to bring diapers for Heather; she might as well keep me in 
diapers. We went to Great America on my eighth birthday and I had 
to wear diapers the whole day.
	I hated wearing diapers and cried when my mom made me wear 
them on my birthday. I thought I was now a big kid and diapers 
made me feel like a baby. I didn't like wearing Pull Ups either, 
but at least I could change my own Pull Ups. My mom had to change 
my diapers and I hated it. I couldn't wait until I was dry and no 
longer needed to wear those babyish diapers.
	Once Heather was potty trained, I quit wearing diapers during 
the day. There was no way I would let my mom put a diaper on me, 
if my little sister wasn't wearing one. Heather would wear Pull 
Ups when we went out in September, so I wore them as well. Heather 
quit wearing Pull Ups in October, so I didn't have to wear those 
either.
	We only wore Pull Ups two more times after October. Both 
Heather and I wore Pull Ups when we went Trick-or-Treating on 
Halloween. At the end of the night, Heather's Pull Up was still 
dry, but mine was very wet. We also had to wear Pull Ups for a 
week after Christmas. We went up to a cabin in the mountains and 
mom made us wear Pull Ups the entire week. I think my mom wanted 
me to wear Pull Ups and only made Heather wear them to keep me 
happy. Heather had a few accidents leading up to Christmas, but 
not enough to justify the Pull Ups.
	By the end of the week it was obvious that Heather really 
didn't need Pull Ups and I did. She only had one accident all week 
and only wet her bed once. I had twelve accidents during the week 
and wet my bed every single night.
	A few weeks later mom let Heather sleep in her panties for 
the first time. We were using cloth diapers before then and I 
demanded to sleep in my underwear as well. My mom initially wanted 
me to stay in diapers, but decided to let me wear underwear. I 
naively thought that I would stop wetting the bed when I stopped 
wearing diapers, but soon found out differently.
	The next few months were miserable, because I hated waking up 
in soggy wet beds. I wet my bed several times each night and 
always woke up in pee-soaked sheets. I was always cold and tired. 
My mom made sure I took a bath each morning, because she knew I 
would smell if I didn't. I was eight years old and hated taking 
baths. I resented having to take them in the morning, especially 
since I had to take on at night as well.
	We tried to contain the smell from my room, but it began to 
smell any way. I couldn't smell it, but other kids could. I had 
friends come over and they would say, "It smells like pee." I also 
had the plastic sheet on my bed, which crinkled when they sat on 
it. One friend asked if I still wet my bed, but I lied. I told him 
my little sister sometimes took her nap on my bed and she still 
wet her bed.
	It is a good thing that Heather didn't hear me, because she 
would have called me, "Pee pee pants." My mom tried hard to keep 
Heather from teasing me, but Heather thought it was funny that I 
still wet and pooped my pants. My mom would get frustrated when I 
had an accident and Heather always said, "You should make him wear 
baby pants." Heather had a doll that wet her pants. She cut her 
hair and called him Mark. She even tried to potty train her doll; 
pretended it was me.
	Heather virtually stopped having accidents after January. She 
may have wet her bed once or twice, but I don't remember her 
having any accidents. I, of course, had a lot of accidents. Along 
with wetting my bed each and every night, I wet my pants at least 
every week. I also had a weekly messy accident, which further 
complicated matters.
	Mom never really demanded that I wear diapers or Pull Ups, 
but the option was always there. If we were going out for the day, 
she would say, "You know, you can wear Pull Ups today." I would 
immediately protest that I wasn't a baby and then throw a fit when 
I had an accident.
	We really didn't do that much that spring, which was unusual 
for us. We usually tried to do something exciting at least once a 
month, but I don't remember doing anything that Spring at all. I 
think we went skiing once, but that was probably it. Mom and dad 
were really busy, but I think my problems added to it. It just 
wasn't worth the trouble, since I always had accidents.
	Finally after school ended we went to Disneyland for four 
days. Mom wanted me to wear Pull Ups on the trip, but I refused. I 
asked if Heather was going to wear them and mom said, "No, she 
doesn't need them."
	"Then I don't need them either," I said in a real snotty 
tone.
	Mom had heard it all before and said "I just don't want you 
to have an accident. Don't come crying to me if you wet your pants 
at Disneyland."
	Well, to make a long story short, I did wet my pants at 
Disneyland. Several times in fact. I had two accidents on the trip 
to Los Angeles and two more accidents the first day at Disneyland. 
I had another one later that night, which caused dad to bring out 
the Pull Ups. They demanded that I wear them and said I would 
spend the rest of the week at the hotel if I didn't. I reluctantly 
put the Pull Ups on and went about my business.
	The Pull Ups turned to be a godsend, since I ended up using 
the full package. I wet the very last Pull Up in the package on 
the ride home and slept that night in my underwear. I pretended to 
hate them, because that's what I thought my parents wanted. I 
complained that the Pull Ups made me feel like a baby, but mom 
wouldn't hear of it. She said, "If you would just use the potty, 
you wouldn't have to wear them." In reality, I didn't think they 
were that bad. I kind of liked waking up in a dry bed and not 
having to worry about accidents.
	The next trip we took was to Wisconsin for my cousin's 
wedding. This was the first of my cousins to get married and I 
thought it was really cool to go to a wedding. I loved the idea of 
flying in an airplane and going to another part of the country. I 
had been to Wisconsin before, but I was really young. I didn't 
really remember much about it, since I was only about five years 
old.
	A few days before we left mom told me I was going to have to 
wear Pull Ups when we went to Wisconsin. I first tried to protest 
my way out of it (but not that hard), but mom didn't want to hear 
any of it. Then I asked, "Do I have to wear them during the day, 
or is it just at night?"
	"Well, the night mainly, but I want to you wear them on the 
plane and wedding. Now that I think about, I think you probably 
should just wear them all the time. We really don't want to worry 
about accidents while we are there."
	The idea of having to wear a babyish Pull Up in front of my 
cousins was worse than could be imagined, but not as bad as the 
truth. We didn't have any Pull Ups left, since I had used the last 
pair at Disneyland. Dad went to the store to buy some more, but 
came back with something different.
	I could tell that they weren't Pull Ups when he came in, but 
had no idea what they might be. Pull Ups have a dark blue package, 
but I could only see the top of a teal package sticking out, with 
a large P on it. At first I thought it was a new package for Pull 
Ups and just ignored it. It was a few hours before bedtime and I 
wanted to put off the Pull Ups as long as possible.
	I was just outside of the living room when dad came in and he 
didn't see me. Dad said, "They didn't have XL Pull Ups, but I got 
something that might work better."
	"What?" mom asked.
	"Pampers has a new size six, which should fit Mark fine."
	"Do you think he's going to allow us to put a diaper on him?"
	"Well, he better. I don't want to go through another trip 
like Disneyland. Besides, it might teach him a lesson."
	I couldn't believe my ears. My dad was going to make me wear 
diapers, just like a little baby. I didn't know what to do. I 
spent the rest of the day trying to figure out how to get out of 
this, but I couldn't think of anything.
	Eventually the moment of truth came. It was just a little bit 
after we finished dinner and my parents finished packing for the 
trip. I could feel the tension in their faces, as they tried to 
find the best time to tell me. Mom and dad didn't know that I knew 
about the Pampers and tried to let me go about my business.
	Mom asked me to pack my own bag for the trip and we were 
going through the bags making sure that I didn't forget anything. 
We were also taking stuff out that I didn't need.
	"Honey, you don't need to bring seven T-shirts. Let's only 
take three and then we'll wash them while we are there."
	I packed some underwear, even though we had already agreed 
that I would wear Pull Ups. I just wanted to slip the underwear in 
my bag and wear them instead. As mom was going through my bags, I 
could tell she was leaving the underwear till last. She went 
through and made sure I had some good socks and a toothbrush. It 
didn't take that long and we finally hit my underwear.
	"Honey, we already told you that you're not wearing underwear 
on this trip. We don't want any accidents." I knew what was 
coming, but still wasn't prepared. Mom didn't sugarcoat it at all. 
She just blurted out "You're going to have to wear diapers this 
time."
	"Diapers?" I whined.
	"Yes, you are going to wear diapers. We are going to be in a 
hotel and can only do laundry one time. We can't have you having 
accidents and ruining your clothes."
	"But I'm not a baby."
	"Honey, we've been through this already. I know you aren't a 
baby and wearing diapers isn't going to change that. You know you 
have accidents and wet the bed. What happens if you sleep on the 
plane?"
	I hadn't thought about it and didn't want to have an accident 
on the plane. I decided to ask about the Pull Ups. "Why can't I 
wear Pull Ups?"
	"The store was out of them when daddy was there. Besides, 
these are better. Pull Ups always leak."
	"But diapers are for babies."
	"Not these. They are bigger, for kids."
	I resigned myself to wearing diapers and decided to see if I 
could get Heather in them as well. I figured it wouldn't be as bad 
if Heather had them also. I didn't want to wear diapers when my 
four year old sister wore panties. "What about Heather?"
	"Heather doesn't need diapers. She's using the potty every 
time now, even at night. You still need them, because you have 
accidents. You peed your pants two times yesterday." Mom was 
getting more direct with me as the year moved on. "Go take your 
bath and then we will get you ready for bed."
	I quit fighting and took my bath like a good little boy. I 
tried to take as long as possible in the tub, since I knew what 
was coming after I got out. I take showers now, but back then I 
took baths. Sometimes I wish I still took baths, since they are 
more fun. That time I played with all my toys and spent almost 
thirty minutes in the tub. I finally got out when mom told me I 
had to leave.
	I got out of the tub and dried myself off. I walked in my 
bedroom and mom was waiting for me. She had the diapers and was 
ready to put them on me. That's the biggest difference between 
Pull Ups and diapers. Pull Ups feel just like a diaper when I have 
them on, but I can put them on myself. My parents have to put the 
diapers on me.
	Mom told me to get on the floor and I followed her 
directions. The first thing mom did was rub lotion up and down my 
legs. I hadn't worn diapers for seven months and forgot how much I 
liked the attention mom gave me. After the lotion, she put some 
Vaseline on my bottom. Then she placed the diaper under my legs 
and pulled up to my stomach. She taped the diaper up and then 
helped me into my pajamas. The pajamas covered my diaper, but you 
could see the bulge. I walked back into the living room and could 
hear the diaper crinkle each step.
	I wondered what Heather would say, but fortunately she was 
already asleep. I didn't have to worry about her till the next 
morning, which came soon enough.
	I prayed that I would stay dry that night. I hoped that if I 
was dry in the morning, mom wouldn't make me wear them during the 
day. My hopes dashed away when I woke up. My diaper was soaked! It 
didn't leak, but it was close. I wondered what mom would say, but 
she just laughed. "Good thing you had the diaper on, you would 
have really soaked the bed last night."
	The strange part came when she took off my soggy diaper. I 
was used to wearing diapers at night, but rarely had to wear them 
during the day. I hadn't worn a diaper during the day since my 
birthday and it felt strange when mom placed a fresh diaper 
underneath my legs after cleaning me up. I suddenly realized that 
I was going to wear diapers all day long for the next week.

Part 2

	At first I didn't feel strange in diapers. It had been a long 
time since I had worn them, but I still knew what they felt like. 
Diapers didn't feel that much different from Pull Ups and it had 
only been a few weeks so I wore Pull Ups.
	It wasn't until Heather got up from the table that I felt 
strange. I looked at Heather and it was obvious (at least to me) 
that she didn't have a diaper on. She had a nice sun dress that 
dropped to her knees, but when she leaned down I could see her 
panties. I suddenly felt the bulk between my legs and squirmed to 
get comfortable. When I did, I heard my diaper rustle. It was only 
a faint sound that no one else could hear, but I was sure everyone 
could hear it. I looked around to see if anyone noticed, but 
nobody turned. Then I saw the diaper bag on the counter.
	The diaper bag was common site in our home, especially when 
we were going out for the day. Mom put a lot of our extras in the 
diaper bag. I never cared when mom carried the diaper bag, because 
Heather needed it as well. It didn't look that strange, since 
Heather was still young enough for diapers. This time I realized 
that it was for me and only me. All those diapers were just 
because I needed them and I resented it. It wasn't a really 
babyish diaper bag. It was powder blue with white clouds. It was 
pretty obviously a diaper bag, but most people think mom carries 
it as her "mother's bag" just to keep all the extra stuff that she 
needs for Heather and me.
	I began to pout, but no one noticed. I just sulked and kept 
quiet. One of our neighbors drove us to the airport and Heather 
and I sat in the back of her van. Heather was excited about the 
trip and airplane flight, but I didn't care. I just kept thinking 
about the diapers I had on and how mad I was at my mom. I wanted 
to punish her for making me wear diapers, but didn't know how. 
Suddenly I had to fart and realized how I could punish her. I 
concentrated really hard and tried poo my diaper. I wanted to lay 
the messiest turd I could in my diaper and wanted to be the 
stickiest crap I've ever taken. I really didn't need to poop, but 
eventually I got something in my diaper. I mostly peed, since I 
was straining so much, but there was some fecal matter in there.
	I was satisfied with my work, although I wished it was 
messier. I hoped to get diarrhea and then I could really punish my 
mom. At first no one noticed what I had done. The turd was firm 
and didn't smell a whole lot. At first I couldn't even smell it, 
but then I got whiff. It smelled like a really bad fart.
	It didn't take long for Heather to smell it and she cried out 
"Mommy, Mark farted."
	We opened the windows, but it didn't help much. Mom waited a 
few more minutes and then asked, "Honey, did you poop your 
diaper?"
	I gave my best apologetic "Yes."
	Mom got a quizzical look on her face, since pooping wasn't 
really a problem for me. I rarely messed my pants anymore; I 
usually just wet myself. Even when I wore diapers, I was regular 
enough that we could plan on me pooping in the toilet. I normally 
didn't poo until the afternoon; so around two o'clock mom would 
take me to the bathroom to poop.
	I think she knew that I did it on purpose, but she didn't act 
mad. "I guess I'll change it when we get to airport."
	There were two people in the car who got this amazed look on 
their faces. The first was our neighbor, who knew my story. She 
knew me enough to know that I had accidents and knew about 
Disneyland. "I thought Mark was going to wear Pull Ups?"
	"Well, Safeway didn't have the XL size, but they had a 
special on the new Pampers. We got those instead."
	Heather, on the other hand, had no idea that I would even 
wear Pull Ups. Heather didn't really understand how I could still 
have potty accidents when she didn't anymore. When Heather was 
still in diapers, she and my mom went shopping with a neighbor 
girl and her mother. The girl was just a smidge over two, but had 
already potty trained. Heather watched as this girl used the potty 
all day long and received a lot of praise. Heather felt like a 
baby in her diapers and wanted to be a big girl. From that point 
on, she associated diapers with being a baby.
	"Why is Mark a baby today?" She asked. She didn't mean to 
hurt me, but I felt the jibe hard.
	"He isn't a baby. Mark is just wearing diapers because he 
might have accidents."
	"But if he has accidents, then he is a baby."
	"NO. Babies are babies because they are not old enough to be 
kids." Mom wanted to stop the conversation in its tracks, but it 
wasn't working. Heather didn't understand how I could wear diapers 
and not be a baby.
	"So, boys are babies longer than girls."
	"No honey, boys and girls are babies the same time."
	"Then why is Mark a baby today?" Heather was totally serious 
and didn't wanted to know the answer.
	"That's enough Heather Marie. Mark is not a baby, he just 
needs diapers." Heather wasn't very old, but she was old enough to 
know middle names are not a good thing to question. She stopped 
asking why I was a baby, but didn't understand how I could still 
be in diapers.
	It took another twenty minutes to get to the airport. By then 
the smell had dissipated somewhat; mainly because the windows were 
open. Dad and Heather checked out bags at the curb and mom and I 
took care of my dirty diaper.
	Mom had flown from the San Francisco Airport enough to know 
the best place to change my diaper was. She took me to a special 
family restroom designed specifically for families with small 
children. It wasn't the main bathroom, which was good. Both mom 
and dad had changed my diaper in bathrooms before and I always 
hated it. I was too big for the diaper changing table, unless it 
was a one of the cove type. We usually did it in the handicapped 
stall, but people always looked strangely when we walked out. Dad 
usually took me to the men's bathroom, since it was awkward for me 
to go in the ladies' bathroom.
	The family bathrooms are by far the best place to change my 
diaper. Instead of being just a series of stalls, we walk into a 
hallway. Once in the hall way there are three private bathrooms 
about the size of a walk-in closet. Each has a toilet, a changing 
table and a sink. It offers us privacy, which is exactly what we 
need.
	The poop stuck a little to my bottom and it took mom a little 
bit of time to get me clean. It took her about five minutes to 
change my diaper and I kept wondering what she was thinking. We 
didn't talk much during the change. Neither one of us felt like 
talking and we didn't know how to use conversation to alleviate 
the awkward situation of changing an older child's diaper. Now we 
begin to talk to each other and changes go by without knowing it. 
We can even joke about changing my diaper, which we couldn't do 
then. That time we just looked at each other awkwardly and it took 
for ever.
	Mom finally changed my diaper and I walked to our gate. I 
don't think anyone could tell that I had a diaper underneath my 
pants, but I was very aware of it. I kept thinking people were 
looking at my puffy butt and laughing. I swear I heard people 
saying "Look at that kid! He's wearing a diaper!" Mom sensed that 
I was uncomfortable and calmly told me "No one sees a thing. Don't 
worry about it."
	We arrived a little later than we wanted and we didn't have 
to wait long to board our plane. I was happy to get out of the 
watchful eyes of the public.
	Our plane was a 767 and we had an entire middle row. I hate 
getting the middle of an airplane, since there is no window seat. 
You really have nothing to do but look at the middle of the 
airplane and that's boring. Unfortunately, we always get the 
middle row, since that works best for us. To make matters worse, 
mom and dad sat on the aisle, leaving Heather and me in the 
middle. That way, no child was away from a parent and it was easy 
to take us to the bathroom.
	We started listening to our headphones and I quickly made 
myself home on the airplane. Mom must have brought 3,000 little 
books, puzzles and games for Heather and me on the plane, but I 
soon got bored of all of it. The flight to Chicago was a little 
over three hours and last two were dead boring. We got lunch on 
the plane and then we got the movie. I forgot what movie it was, 
but I didn't like. Finally the movie ended and we had another hour 
before we landed in Chicago.
	I hadn't really flooded my diaper, but had slowly wet little 
bits into it as the flight wore on. By this time my diaper was 
getting wet and I started to feel it. The Pampers did a really 
good job holding all the wetness, but I needed a change. I tucked 
on mom's arm and pointed to my diaper.
	"Is your diaper wet?" She asked.
	"Yeah. Can you change it?" The idea of asking my mom to 
change my wet diaper didn't sound right, but I went with it.
	"Do you think it will last till we reach Chicago?"
	"I don't know."
	"Well, let me check." Then she did something I didn't expect 
her to do. She stuck her fingers inside my pants and up against my 
wet diaper. "It's pretty wet. I better change it." She went to the 
overhead and pulled down my diaper bag. "I was hoping it would 
last till Chicago."
	We walked to the galley and mom got the attention of one of 
the flight attendants. I felt like a little kid following his mom 
down the aisle, especially with the big diaper bag leading my way. 
Mom asked the flight attendant if there was a place to change a 
diaper. The stewardess said, "Well, there's a basin that you can 
use for a baby."
	Mom pointed to me and embarrassingly said, "I think he's too 
big. Do have anyplace where I can change his diaper."
	Mom told a complete stranger about my diapers, which really 
embarrassed me, but the stewardess didn't seem phased. She smiled 
and said, "Oh, we deal with that every once in awhile. There's a 
larger galley at the back of the plane that will work."
	I proceeded with my walk of shame down the rest of the 
airplane. I felt like I should hold up a sign telling the entire 
plane that I was going to get my diaper changed. We reached the 
back of the plane and mom had to ask another flight attendant.
	"I was told that I could change his diaper back here."
	The flight attendant looked at my mom and said "Yeah, I 
guess. He can lie down right here, if you want."
	This was a galley with a little wider gap. I lied on a towel 
right in the galley and mom proceeded to change me right there. 
This time we talked about the flight and the impending wedding of 
my cousin. It didn't seem nearly as bad as the last time; until we 
finished. Mom had just finished putting the diaper on me and was 
helping me get dressed. A passenger, older lady who was a bit 
large, accidentally opened the curtain. She saw me standing in my 
diaper and stood back.
	She didn't say anything to us, but as we left she pointed at 
me and said "Imagine a boy that age in diapers!" It wasn't that 
loud, but loud enough for others to hear it. I noticed a few 
people turn to look at me. Some shook their heads and others gave 
us an awkward smile. I know now that it wasn't a big deal. Most 
people didn't even hear the comment and most of the people who 
heard it couldn't care less. Maybe one in ten would care and some 
of those cared because they were in diapers. The only people who 
think it's bad are jerks and I shouldn't care what they think.
	At the time it was the absolute worse thing that could happen 
and I felt awful. I got back to my seat and did something I hadn't 
done in years. Without thinking I stuck my thumb in my mouth and 
began to suck on it. At first my mom didn't say anything, but then 
she pulled my thumb out my mouth. When I used to suck my thumb, 
she would make me suck on a pacifier. She felt the pacifier was 
better for my teeth and let me use that. I was five years old and 
still using a pacifier.
	My thumb ventured back into my mouth again and she pulled it 
out again. This time she looked me sternly in the eye and said, 
"If you want to suck on something, I'll pull a pacifier out of the 
bag. Do you want a pacifier?"
	The idea of sucking of a pacifier just made me feel more like 
a baby. I was sure everyone now thought I was an idiot and didn't 
want to give any further proof. I dejectedly said "No."
	"Then keep your thumb out of your mouth, it's bad for your 
teeth."
	I was feeling really low and tried to keep my thumb from my 
mouth. It was hard and before I knew it my hand was at my mouth. I 
soon began to suck on my knuckles, but I soon lodged my whole 
thumb into my mouth. I must have sucked on for a few minutes, but 
then mom went back into the diaper bag and pulled out a pacifier. 
Heather still used pacifiers when she was uncomfortable and was 
using one for her ears. Mom pulled out my thumb and handed me the 
pacifier. "Here, suck on this."
	I put it in my mouth, but it wasn't the same. I took it out, 
but then felt uncomfortable and put the pacifier back in my mouth. 
I ended up getting comfortable with the pacifier in my mouth and 
kept there for the rest of the flight.
	We got off the plane in Chicago and rented a car for the 
week. It was cheaper for us to rent a car in Chicago and drive to 
Oshkosh, than to fly directly to Oshkosh. We needed a car in 
Oshkosh anyway, so it made more sense to rent.
	Just before we left the rental car lot, mom took Heather to 
the potty. I was still dry, but she decided to have me go with her 
as well. The three of us went into the ladies' bathroom and mom 
made sure we used the potty. She took off my diaper and had me sit 
on the toilet. She asked me to poop in the toilet, which took me a 
few minutes. I suddenly really felt like a little baby trying to 
poop for his mommy.
	When I finally did my business, I lay back on the floor and 
she put my diaper back on. Heather was there the whole time 
watching and asking mom if she was a big girl.
	"Am I big girl mommy?"
	"Yes honey, you are."
	"I'm a big girl because I wear big girl panties. Mark has 
baby pants, but I have big girl panties." Mom let Heather go a 
little bit before she stopped, which didn't do anything for my 
confidence.
	Heather only weighed about thirty-seven pounds and still 
needed a car seat. We rented a car seat for her; fortunately I 
gained weight, or I would have need a car seat as well. A year 
earlier I weighed about forty-six pounds, but fortunately gained 
ten pounds that year. I didn't need a car seat and there wasn't 
one big enough for me.
	Heather didn't mind the car seat, but didn't understand why I 
didn't get one. "Why doesn't Mark need a car seat?" She whined.
	"Because he's bigger and can use a seat belt." Dad tried to 
explain the law to Heather, but Heather didn't want to hear it.
	"But he's the baby, not me."
	"Heather, I've told you to stop teasing your brother. Now 
stop it!" Mom was getting tired of Heather calling me the baby.
	"I'm not a baby and if you don't stop calling me that I'm 
going to hit you."
	Of all the violations in our family, hitting was the biggest. 
If I ever got in trouble, more often than not, it was because I 
hit Heather. Heather would call me a name (usually some form of 
baby) and I would get mad. She would keep calling me the name and 
I would hit her. She would cry and I got in trouble.
	"Mark, there is no hitting! Now the two of you cool it, or 
you both will be in trouble."
	It was happening again. I wasn't doing anything and I was 
going to get in trouble.
	Heather had the last word. She got in her car seat and said 
"At least I use the potty like a big girl."
	I desperately wanted to throw her as far as I could, but had 
to hold my tongue. I just sat there and pretended not to notice 
Heather.
	It took us a little about two and half hours to drive from 
Chicago to my aunt Catherine's house, which was in Oshkosh. I 
flooded my diaper about an hour out of Chicago, but didn't say 
anything. I didn't want to admit that I had just soaked my diaper 
in front of Heather, so I pretended everything was fine. We were 
about a half hour from my aunt's house when Heather announced that 
she needed to potty.
	"Number one, or two pumpkin?" My dad sweetly asked Heather.
	"Number one."
	"We are almost of Aunt Catherine's house. Can you hold it?" 
Dad didn't like stopping the car unless he had to.
	"I think so. I'm a good holder." She was right; Heather could 
wait fairly long for a four year old.
	"I know you are, honey." Dad seemed relieved that he wouldn't 
have to stop the car.
	We were in the farm country and a few minutes later Heather 
let it be known that she had to go NOW! "Daddy, I really have to 
potty. Can we stop?"
	Dad knew Heather well enough to know that if we didn't, she 
would have an accident. I kind of wish that she wouldn't have made 
it, but dad pulled off the highway and to an empty patch of 
country road. Heather jumped out of the car and did her business. 
While Heather was peeing on the side of the road, dad decided to 
change my diaper. Dad changed my diaper rather quickly and without 
the gentleness that mom did. I didn't really care, since it felt 
nice to be in a dry diaper.
	We didn't have anyplace to throw away my soggy diaper, so mom 
kept it in a bag till we got to Aunt Catherine's. That's when the 
absolute worse thing that could happen, happened.
	Aunt Catherine is my mom's youngest sister, about ten years 
younger than my mom. She was in her late twenties back then and 
not married. She was always one of my favorite aunt's, because we 
always had fun with. She was the aunt who would take us to the 
movies and didn't expect us to be good.
	My mom's other sister, Aunt Beth, was my mom's older sister. 
This is the mother of the bride and about four years older than my 
mom. She already had kids when I was born and treated me like my 
mom did. It wasn't that I didn't like Aunt Beth, but I had more 
fun with Aunt Catherine.
	We spent the night with Aunt Catherine, since Beth was busy 
preparing for the wedding. Aunt Catherine's house was small, but 
we had enough room for the five of us. Aunt Catherine was always 
peppy, but didn't have kids. As a result, she sometimes suffered 
from foot in mouth disease and this was one of those times.
	We got out of the car and did the obligatory hugs. Once we 
finally greeted each other, mom went back to the car to get the 
bag that held my used diaper. It was in a white bag, but pretty 
obvious what was in the bag. That, along with diaper bag told Aunt 
Catherine that one of us was still in diapers. Aunt Catherine 
assumed that it was Heather, but was surprised that she would 
still need them. Heather was four and a half years old and getting 
a little old for diapers. We hadn't spent enough time together to 
know that I still wet my bed. "Heather! A big girl like you still 
needing diapers!"
	The words came out of Catherine's mouth before she could even 
stop them, or mom could cushion the blow. Heather's response was 
almost as fast.
	Heather was extremely proud of her big girl panties, since 
she had worked so hard to get them. She didn't want to lose face 
to her favorite aunt and said, "Those aren't for me. Mark's the 
one in baby pants. I wear big girl panties." She pulled up her 
dress and said, "See!"
	Aunt Catherine was stunned and we didn't know quite what to 
say. She turned to my mom and said, "Is this true?"
	"Yes, it is. Mark wets the bed and has been having accidents. 
He's been having enough that we decided to keep him in diapers for 
this trip and hopefully we will be able to start again when we get 
back."
	I wanted to find someplace to hide. There I was right in 
front of my favorite aunt and she just found out that I needed a 
diaper. I tried to run away, but my feet wouldn't move. I wondered 
what Aunt Beth was thinking and what the next week was going to be 
like. I had visions of my aunts and cousins all taking their turns 
changing and feeding me. I was sure that I was going to be the 
family baby.
	There was an awkward moment right after mom told her sister 
that it was my diaper. I think mom wished she could have taken 
back what she just said and I wanted to kill her for saying. Aunt 
Catherine wished the whole thing could start over again and she 
pretended like the diaper didn't exist.
	Aunt Catherine finally broke the silence with a very forced 
"Just like Ron." Ron was my mom's brother. He was just a few years 
younger than my mom and about seven years older than Aunt 
Catherine.
	We spent more time with my uncle Ron's family, since our 
families were close to the same age. He has two kids; just like 
us. Ryan is a year younger than me and had just turned eight a few 
days before the wedding. The girl was Rachel and she is only two 
months older than Heather. Rachel and Heather are almost twins; 
they even look alike.
	At the time I didn't pay any attention to Aunt Catherine's 
side note. I became catatonic and barely heard what she said. I 
don't think I even knew whom she was talking about, since I always 
called him Uncle Ron.
	The rest of the night was really uncomfortable. Mom felt 
guilty about what she said, but also realized that there was 
nothing that she could do about it. She spilled the milk and now 
we had to clean it up. Aunt Catherine didn't know what to say to 
me and just pretended like nothing happened. She asked me about 
school and what I liked doing. She tried anything to keep the 
topic off my diapers.
	Fortunately I didn't need a change until it was time for bed. 
My diaper was wet, but not enough to justify changing. When it was 
time for bed, mom took me into the guest room and removed the damp 
diaper I had on. I was right in between the age when I stopped 
taking baths and started taking showers. I actually preferred 
taking a bath, since I could play in the tub, but showers were 
cooler. Showers always made me feel older, so given the option I 
always took showers. Mom gave me the option that night and I 
quickly choose a shower. I needed something to make me feel like a 
big boy and the only thing I could do was take a shower.
	After my shower, I walked back into the guest room and lied 
on the bed. Mom put another diaper on me and then helped me into 
my pajamas. Mom was getting pretty good at changing my diaper by 
then, since she had already changed four diapers that day. She 
tried to apologize about telling Aunt Catherine, but I wasn't 
ready to hear it.
	Heather and I slept in the living room, on a pair of special 
air mattresses that Aunt Catherine had for guest. She laid them 
out right on the floor and then made our beds. Then she did 
something really cool. She put a big blanket over two chairs and 
made a tent over both of our mattresses. Heather and I both 
thought it was pretty cool that we were sleeping on the floor, but 
underneath the tent was really cool!
	Aunt Catherine gave us a good night kiss and then mom and dad 
tucked us in our little tent. Heather was really tired and crashed 
when the lights went out. I was tired too, but didn't fall asleep 
for a while. I thought about the day I had and what the next few 
days would be like. I still didn't know about the diapers and 
wanted desperately to get my underwear back. I thought that mom 
would give me back my underwear if I was dry in the morning, but 
knew that I would wet if I fell asleep. I decided to stay awake 
all night and use the bathroom when I needed.
	I tried to stay awake as long as I could, but it was really 
boring sitting in the dark. I couldn't turn on the TV, because mom 
would know I wasn't sleeping. So I just lied in my tent and tried 
not to sleep. I couldn't stay awake and gradually drifted off to 
sleep. I have no idea when it happened, but next thing I 
remembered was waking up about 7:30 the next morning.
	The sheets were dry and for a second I thought, "Cool, I 
didn't wet the bed." It really stinks to wake up each morning in 
cold pee saturated sheets that were beginning to smell. I really 
hated it and felt awful about all the work I was putting mom 
through. It only took me a few seconds until I remembered that I 
had a diaper on and I put my hands to my diaper.
	It was sopping! I don't know how many times I peed that 
night, but my diaper was saturated. I was close to flooding it and 
knew I needed a change. I decided to get up and go to mom. I got 
out of our tent and the only person up was Aunt Catherine.
	Aunt Catherine was making coffee in her kitchen, which was 
right next to her living room. It was one of those houses that had 
an open kitchen, right next to the living room.
	I walked to the kitchen. My diaper was so soggy that it hung 
below my hips. It weighed so much that it was about to fall 
completely off, but amazingly it didn't leak! Aunt Catherine 
looked at me and it was obvious I needed my diaper changed.
	I meekly asked, "Is my mom up?"
	"Not yet. What's a matter honey? Do you need your diaper 
changed?"
	I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to tell Aunt 
Catherine that I wet my diaper, but I really needed a change. I 
was getting uncomfortable and was afraid that my diaper would fall 
off. As hard as it was to admit, I fessed up and said, "Yeah."
	"I can change your diaper." There was almost a hint of 
anticipation in her voice.
	That's exactly what I didn't want Aunt Catherine to do. It 
was bad enough that she had to know that I wore diapers, but I 
couldn't imagine having Aunt Catherine change my diapers. I mean I 
could handle having Aunt Beth change my diaper, since she never 
let us do anything anyway. Aunt Catherine was always the cool 
aunt; she was almost the really cool older cousin. I would rather 
have had Becky, my cousin getting married, change my diaper; 
because I didn't worry about impressing Becky.
	Aunt Catherine could tell I was reluctant and tried to quell 
my fears. "Come on, I used to change your diaper when you were a 
baby. It's nothing I haven't seen before and I won't tell 
anybody."
	The combination of the soggy diaper and Aunt Catherine almost 
begging convinced me to let her change my diaper. My response was 
far from enthusiastic, but I gradually said "Ok."
	"Great, I'll get your diapers and clothes and you can go in 
my room."
	There was a hallway next to her kitchen. The guest room was 
just to the left and her room was on the right. She went in the 
guest room to pick up my diapers and clothes and I waddled to the 
right into her room. The diaper was getting so heavy that I had to 
waddle like a kid learning to walk.
	It was a small hallway and I heard Aunt Catherine tell my 
mom, "Mark's diaper is really soaked, so I'm going to change it. 
Where are his diapers?" I didn't hear what my dad said, but a few 
seconds later Aunt Catherine was carrying my diaper bag and a 
change of clothes.
	"I haven't done this since Rachel was three years old." That 
comment didn't make me feel any better.
	Aunt Catherine pulled out the changing pad and placed it on 
the floor. I obligingly lay down on it and she undid the soggy 
diaper that had virtually fallen off anyway. Everything the diaper 
covered was drenched and Aunt Catherine took baby wipes and 
cleaned it all up. She held my legs with her left hand and wiped 
my bottom with her right. It was like she was a pro and you would 
hardly know she was changing an eight year old's diaper.
	At first she didn't say anything and I was just lying naked 
on the floor. I tried to day dream, mainly to take my mind off my 
present situation. It took her about thirty seconds to finish 
cleaning my bottom, but it seemed like five minutes. Finally she 
finished and started to speak.
	"You know, lots of kids wet the bed."
	"Yeah, but they are all babies. I'm probably the oldest kid 
in history to still need diapers."
	"Have you ever seen Goodnites?"
	"Yeah."
	"Well, who do think they make those for? Do you know they are 
making those in an even bigger size?"
	"Do you know anybody else who wets the bed?"
	"Not that I know for sure, but I know some people who used to 
wet the bed and their pants. You do, too." During this whole time 
she was drying off the area that she cleaned and pouring baby 
powder on my bottom.
	"Who do I know who used to wet their beds?" I was very 
doubtful that anyone I knew wet their beds. I could accept that a 
few people my age still wet their beds, but they weren't very 
many.
	"Well, do you promise not to tell them I told you?"
	At this point I wanted to know and how could I say anything. 
Aunt Catherine held an even bigger secret about me, so I wouldn't 
tell anyone. "I promise; tell me."
	"I know that your cousin John wore diapers when he was your 
age." John is Becky's younger brother and about nine years older 
than me. At this point Becky was 21 and John was 17.
	"How do you know that?" I didn't believe that my big cousin 
John could have wet his bed. He is a big football player, who 
plays in College now. At the time John had become the biggest 
person in our family and everyone bragged how big he was. I 
couldn't imagine someone like that could ever have wet his bed.
	"I used to baby-sit him and Becky when they were younger. I 
had change his diaper at bedtime. He was still wetting when I went 
to college, so he might not have stopped."
	That sounded pretty cool, but I wanted more. Aunt Catherine 
placed the fresh diaper under my legs and I asked "Who else?"
	"Uncle Ron used to wet his bed as well. He even wet his pants 
and he was older than you."
	"Uncle Ron used to wet his bed?"
	"Yeah and he used to accidents in his pants. I remember when 
I was five and I had to take a nap on Uncle Ron's bed. I didn't 
wet the bed, but Ron did and had a plastic sheet on his bed. I 
couldn't believe my big brother still wet the bed, but saw him wet 
his pants after that. He was twelve years old and I thought only 
babies wet their pants. I got in trouble for teasing him and 
calling him a baby. I don't remember when he stopped, but I think 
he still wet when I started school."
	I suddenly didn't feel so alone when I heard about my other 
relatives who wet their beds. Aunt Catherine finished diapering me 
and helped me get dressed. We went back to the kitchen and she 
fixed me some juice. The two of us just sat at the table eating 
our breakfast for another twenty minutes before anyone else woke 
up. It was really a nice time and I began to feel diapers weren't 
that bad after all.

Part 3

	Mom was the first to join our little powwow. There really 
wasn't a lot of talking. Aunt Catherine and I were just sitting 
quietly at the table enjoying a simple breakfast. Aunt Catherine 
had bought some donuts, which I normally didn't get to eat. I had 
a donut and a big glass of orange juice; not the usual glass of 
OJ, but the same size that I usually drank milk in. Aunt Catherine 
had the paper out, and we were both reading the paper. She read 
the front page, and I read the comics.
	Mom groggily walked up to the table. I normally didn't see 
mom like that, since she always woke up before me. When I was 
younger I used to think that mom never slept, since she always put 
me to bed and then woke me up in the morning. Mom hadn't had her 
coffee, and didn't say anything till she sipped her coffee.
	Aunt Catherine spoke up.
	"Good morning. Did you sleep well?"
	Mom mumbled something, but I didn't understand what she said. 
Finally she took the first sip of coffee, and the cheery morning 
smile came back.
	"I slept really well, that's a lot better bed than you had."
	Mom walked over to me, and gently kissed my forehead. It was 
her way of saying good morning. She asked, "Did Aunt Katie change 
your diaper?"
	I always called her Aunt Catherine, since she hated Katie. 
Mom used to call her Katie, and sometimes forgot. "Yeah."
	"That's nice, did you thank her?"
	I couldn't remember whether I thanked her for changing my 
diaper. I never thought about. I was grateful, especially since 
she helped me feel better, but I didn't consider thanking her for 
changing my diaper. I figured I'd better thank her now, before 
Heather woke up. I turned to my aunt, and said, "Thank you."
	"You're welcome. .. ." She was about to say something else, 
but stopped herself.
	Mom started talking to Aunt Catherine. "I should let you 
change all his diapers. Its a nice break."
	"It wasn't that bad. I'll gladly take care of Mark at the 
wedding."
	"Don't speak too quickly, I may take you up on it. You still 
haven't changed one of his poopy diapers. His poops are pretty 
bad."
	"Well, that goes with territory."
	"If you keep giving him that much juice, you will get your 
chance to change him."
	It felt really strange to have my mom and aunt discuss my 
bodily functions right in front of me. I quickly downed my juice 
and went back into the living room to watch some TV. Turning on 
the television woke Heather up. Heather was still a little drowsy, 
and waking up in an unfamiliar environment startled her. She cried 
out "Mommy!"
	I immediately stuck my head inside our little tent. Heather 
instantly relaxed when she realized she wasn't alone. I didn't 
understand why she shouted out and hoped that she wet the bed. I 
secretly thought, "if she wets her bed, mom may make her wear 
diapers as well." I decided to be a good big brother, and help my 
sister through this accident.
	"What's a matter? Did you wet the bed?" As hard as I tried to 
hide it, I couldn't disguise my optimistic anticipation of her 
really being wet. Heather fully recovered from the initial shock, 
and was back to her normal self.
	"No. I don't need baby diapers. I'm gonna use the potty like 
a big girl."
	Heather ran straight into the bathroom and peed all by 
herself. She normally took help from my parents, but was beginning 
to want independence in using the toilet. Her desire for 
independence increased when I went back to diapers. Mom saw 
Heather come from the bathroom to the kitchen and praised her for 
using the toilet all by herself.
	"Did my big girl use the potty all by herself?" There was an 
element of surprise in her voice, since Heather rarely tried this 
by herself, especially now that she was in a different bathroom.
	"Uh huh, I can do it by myself now," Heather pronounced 
proudly.
	"Did you wash your hands like mommy wants you?"
	"Yeah. I flushed the potty, and then my washed hands. Just 
like you showed me."
	Aunt Catherine expressed her admiration. "My what a big girl 
you're becoming!"
	Mom candidly responded "Yeah, maybe she can teach Mark."
	I know mom wasn't trying to make me feel bad. She was 
frustrated. She felt inadequate as a parent, because I couldn't 
use the toilet. She didn't like to compare herself to my Aunt 
Claire, who is Uncle Ron's wife. Both Rachel and Ryan were potty 
trained before their third birthday. I'm almost a year older than 
Ryan, yet he was potty trained more than a year before me. Rachel 
and Heather are almost the same age, but Rachel was potty trained 
about a year before Heather.
	A year earlier Uncle Ron and Aunt Claire took Ryan and Rachel 
to California for vacation. We spent a week together, usually 
doing something each day. Neither Rachel nor Ryan needed diapers 
at any point during the week. They made it all the way to 
California, in a car, without a single accident! They didn't even 
wet their beds! Heather still wasn't potty trained at all; she 
wouldn't start until the fall. I still wore diapers at night, and 
used them on the outings as well. Mom was so embarrassed, because 
Heather and I spent most of the week in diapers, while Ryan and 
Rachel didn't need them.
	I didn't feel as bad about needing diapers, but I was still 
apprehensive about meeting Ryan. Ryan and I weren't especially 
great pals, but hung out on family outings since our ages were so 
close. Our families figured we should be great friends, but we 
almost always got in fights. Ryan wasn't very nice. He was really 
selfish with his toys, and called me names all the time. It didn't 
help matters that I wasn't really potty trained. He didn't 
understand why I still wet my pants, and it got worse the older he 
got. The last time he kept calling me a baby, and wouldn't let me 
play with any of the toys he brought. He said, "These aren't for 
babies." Of course, he always wanted to play with my toys, but I 
couldn't play with his. I tried to retaliate and prevent him from 
using my toys, but I got in trouble. When I protested, dad said, 
"Well, you're older, and should know better."
	We had a hotel room in Appleton for the next two nights, but 
couldn't get in the room until 2:00. We still needed to get a 
wedding gift, so my parents decided to take us to the mall by our 
hotel. Before we left I realized the big glass of OJ made its way 
through my system. I had to pee, and the bathroom was full. I 
decided just to use my diaper, and just let it go. Right in my 
diaper. I think mom could tell that I wet on purpose, because I 
stood up to pee. When I finished I announced, "Mom, I wet my 
diaper."
	This clearly frustrated mom. She was getting herself dressed 
and helping Heather get ready. She knew that I did it on purpose, 
and sighed, "Mark, I wish you would let me know before you go 
potty. Just because you're wearing a diaper doesn't mean you have 
to use it. You'll just have to wait until I finish getting 
dressed."
	I pretty much flooded the diaper, and it was leaking on the 
side. "But mommy, it's leaking." I cried.
	"Well, my hands are full right now. Daddy will be out in a 
minute, and he can change you." I knew my dad would eventually 
have to change my diaper, but I wanted to prevent it as long as 
possible. I didn't know how gentle dad would be, and was afraid he 
would be angry. I realized that it was going to happen, and 
prepared for the worst.
	Aunt Catherine came to my rescue. She called me into her 
room, and said, "Mark, I'm free. I can change your diaper." Once 
again, I was lying on the floor in Aunt Catherine's room while she 
changed a soggy diaper.
	We spent most of the morning at the mall in Appleton. It was 
a big mall, much bigger than the one next to my house. This was a 
bigger mall than ours, but still had the same stuff.
	Mom, Aunt Catherine, and Heather went to all the girlie 
stores, while Dad and I went to Sears. I had the choice to stay 
with mom and Aunt Catherine, or go with dad. I chose dad, which 
was really cool. We went to the hardware section in Sears, and dad 
looked at all the power tools. I didn't know anything about tools, 
which made me bored. I started playing with the tools and dad got 
mad.
	"Mark, stop playing with that. Those aren't toys!"
	At first I was afraid to talk to him. Dad was normally hard 
to talk to and I thought he was mad at me because I was wearing 
diapers. When I said that I wanted to stay with dad, it looked 
like he preferred that I stay with mom. Mom gave him my diaper 
bag, which had the big Mickey Mouse ears on it. It wasn't 
something dad wanted to carry and he abruptly gave it to me. He 
said, "Here, you can carry this." It looked like carrying the 
diaper bag embarrassed dad, especially since it was for his eight 
year old son.
	Eventually my curiosity got the better of me and I began to 
ask about the various tools we saw. Dad was so appreciative that I 
showed some interest and answered each question. It was a great 
father-son moment that we hadn't ever shared before. He wasn't 
speaking to me as the disappointing young son, but the with total 
pride that his son wanted to learn about tools. He told me what 
each tool could do and why he wanted to get one. He showed that he 
would get, and told me what he was going to do with it. I had 
never seen my dad like this, and I suddenly felt much closer than 
I ever did before.
	We got so engrossed in our conversation that we totally lost 
track of time and I lost track of using the bathroom. I soon felt 
my diaper sag and realized I needed a change. I wondered what 
would happen to our newfound respect if dad needed to change my 
diaper, but knew a leaking diaper would be worse. I swallowed my 
pride and told dad about my soggy diaper. I tucked on his shirt 
and whispered "Dad, I peed in my diaper. I need a new one."
	I could tell that he wished mom was around. If mom was around 
I would have told her and she would take care of it. Now, even if 
mom came by, he still had to change me. If he told mom that I 
needed a change, mom would just show him which bathroom to use. At 
first I thought he was going to be mad, but he didn't seem angry.
	"Let's see if we can find the bathroom."
	The men's bathroom at Sears was in the top floor, and we 
walked all around the store trying to find it. I came really close 
to soaking the diaper. It couldn't hold much more, but I've had 
wetter diapers. I knew it wouldn't leak, but really wanted a new 
one. Dad eventually had to ask one of the clerks, and he pointed 
us to the right direction.
	There was one of those diaper changing tables in the 
bathroom, but it wasn't big enough for me. Dad pulled it down and 
examined it. He turned his head, and said, "I don't think you'll 
fit there. I guess were going to have to do it in a stall."
	We both walked into the handicapped stall, and dad undid my 
diaper before I lay down. It didn't take him long. He changed my 
diaper like it was an Olympic event for speed. The diaper came 
off, he wiped down, powdered my bottom and then put the fresh 
diaper in place. All told it only took him a minute, and it seemed 
faster than that. There wasn't any chatter, but I didn't feel 
awful. The only awkward part came when we got out of the stall. 
Dad was still holding the used diaper and tossed in the garbage 
can on our way out. Another guy was using the urinal and I saw him 
stare when we both came out of the stall. Then he saw dad throw 
away a wet diaper and he really had a stunned face. I needed one 
more change before we got to the hotel. It was right after lunch, 
and I pooped in my diaper. I was walking with Aunt Catherine, and 
she looked at me and said, "Did you just poop?" I didn't say 
anything, but I smiled.
	Aunt Catherine told mom, "Mark just messed his diaper. I'm 
taking him to the family bathroom."
	"Are you sure you want to do that? His stinky diapers are 
really bad."
	"Don't worry about it."
	I walked with Aunt Catherine across the mall, to the family 
restroom. Both bathrooms were occupied. Catherine and I waited in 
a small waiting room, which fortunately didn't take very long. We 
only waited about a minute. I didn't like waiting, because I knew 
someone would see me go in with Aunt Catherine. Aunt Catherine was 
carrying my diaper bag, which made it pretty obvious I needed 
diapers. I didn't feel like hearing in snide comments, but I 
expected it I just kept my head on the floor, and waited for a 
room to open up.
	Finally a door opened, and I couldn't believe what I saw. I 
saw a kid who looked about five years old and his mother was 
carrying the same type of bag that Aunt Catherine was carrying. I 
wasn't sure, but assumed he was in diapers as well. Aunt Catherine 
and I both looked at each other but didn't say anything. And then 
I looked at the boy and he looked at me. We both knew what each 
other was thinking but didn't know what to say to one another.
	I waited until Aunt Catherine closed the door, and asked, "Do 
you think he's wearing diapers?"
	"I don't know, but it looks that way. I'm sure you're not the 
only kid who has to wear a diaper."
	"How old do you think he is?" I guessed that he was five, but 
he could be any age. A lot of people would think I was only six, 
because I was so small. He may have been a big four year old, but 
he didn't act like he was four. He looked embarrassed when he came 
out of the bathroom, and little kids don't get embarrassed about 
diapers.
	"I'm not sure. Probably just a few years younger than you, 
maybe six." Aunt Catherine opened up my stinky diaper and held her 
breath.
	"Your mom wasn't lying. You really did a number in this 
diaper."
	I felt kind of guilty, but didn't really know why. I was 
wearing diapers for a reason, and so I might as well use them. 
Anyway, I didn't know I was going to poop until it was too late. I 
didn't really try to hold it when I was wearing diapers, and just 
let everything go. I realized I had less control in diapers than 
underwear. I apologized anyway. "I'm sorry."
	"Don't be sorry, that's what diapers are for. I just have to 
clean you. Anyway, it gives us a chance to talk. I don't get to 
talk to you much, since you live in California. So tell me, what 
do you like to do?"
	Aunt Catherine began talking to me like that while she was 
cleaning my bottom. I was looking directly into her face and 
forgot what she was doing. The whole time that she talked to me, 
she held my legs with her left hand and cleaned my bottom with the 
right hand. If we weren't talking I would have been really self-
conscious about my diaper being changed, but I didn't even realize 
what she was doing. Pretty soon she dropped my legs and pulled up 
the new diaper. "All done!" I didn't want to admit it, but I 
wished it took longer.
	We went back to my parents, and then it was time to check in 
the hotel Heather asked, "Mommy, is there a pool at this hotel?"
	"I think so, honey."
	"Goody, we can go swimming!" Heather and I didn't get to swim 
much, but we both knew how to swim. Heather thought a little bit, 
and then asked, "Mommy, what's Mark gonna do?"
	"What do you mean, sweetie?"
	"He can't swim, because he's got diapers."
	"I didn't think of that. We should have picked up some swim 
diapers for him, which he should use anyway. I guess he won't be 
able to swim." "What!" I complained. "Why not?" Not swimming was a 
cruel punishment, especially since Rachel, Ryan, and Heather were 
going to spend most of their time in the pool.
	"Honey, we don't have anything for you to wear." "I've got a 
swim suit!" I knew that, because I packed it myself. It wasn't 
just the pool, but there was also a lake that was next to Ryan's 
house. I couldn't comprehend not being able to swim, but mom 
refused to relent.
	"We don't have any swim diapers, and I'm not going to let you 
in the pool without them."
	"I'm not a baby. I don't need diapers!" I protested 
vehemently, even more than when they first put them on me.
	"Well, you haven't proven to me yet!" Mom's words were harsh, 
but to the point.
	Just as we got ourselves settled in the room Uncle Ron came 
over. "Hey Jim (which is my dad's name) come on over to our room. 
We've got pizza, beer, and sodas."
	"Well, we've already had lunch, but a beer sounds pretty 
nice."
	"Yeah, the Cubs are on. Claire and kids are getting ready to 
go in the pool. You and I can watch the game while the kids swim."
	Heather was already in her swim suit, and almost ran across 
the hall to Uncle Ron's room. I wasn't going to be swimming, so I 
didn't rush. This was one of those suite hotels that have small 
bedrooms in it. We walked into their room and I could see into the 
little bedroom where Ryan and Rachel were getting dressed. Rachel 
was already in her swimsuit, but Aunt Claire had her hand in a 
package of Lil' Swimmers Diapers. I only knew what they were 
because I saw an ad for them once. I never expected to see someone 
wear one; let alone one of Aunt Claire's kids.
	Aunt Claire handed Ryan the Lil' Swimmers Diaper. Ryan had a 
disgusted look on his face, and asked, "Do I have to, mom? Can't I 
wear a normal bathing suit?"
	"No, because we threw your bathing suit away, and you know 
why. You're going to have to wear these for the rest of the 
summer, and if you prove that you are ready I'll buy you a new 
bathing suit next year."
	I wasn't alone in my surprise. Mom looked at Aunt Catherine 
and asked, "What are those for?"
	Aunt Claire was clearly embarrassed. "Oh those. Ryan and a 
few friends decided it would be really funny if they leave their 
mark while swimming in a neighbor's pool. They pooped in the pool. 
We initially banned him from swimming for the rest of the year, 
but that was too hard on Ryan. Not swimming in our neighborhood is 
like taking a kids legs from him, so we gave him a choice. He 
could swim, but he had to wear the Lil' Swimmers Diapers. He's 
only been wearing them a week and he's still getting used to it."
	Mom thought for a moment, and asked, "Can we use one?"
	"What for? Does Heather need them?"
	"No, it's Mark."
	At that point Aunt Claire looked up and saw the top of my 
diaper. "I see." She whispered so I wouldn't hear, but I could 
still hear.
	"Why is he in diapers?"
	Mom whispered back, "he's been having accidents, and it was 
just too much. We're using diapers this trip, and seeing what 
happens when we get home."
	Aunt Claire gave mom one of the Lil' Swimmers Diapers, and 
then mom turned to me. "Here Mark, you can swim now."
	I was still angry that she wasn't letting me wear my swimming 
suit. "I wanna wear my swim suit."
	"Well, that's not going to happen. It's either going this, or 
nothing. Do you want to go swimming?"
	"Yes!" I had a very snotty voice.
	"Well, than you're going to have to wear this, or not go. And 
you can stop the attitude, or I'll just put you down for nap!" I 
got the point.
	"Now, what do you want to do? And I want it nice, or you're 
going back to the room and take a nap."
	"Can I go swimming, please?"
	"Yes you can." I lay on the bed, and mom undid my diaper. She 
helped me into the Lil' Swimmers Diaper, which was tight. It fit, 
but barely. They were in bright primary colors, which wasn't 
common for normal bathing suits. We could have worn our regular 
bathing suits over those things but our moms wouldn't let us.
	There were some other kids in the pool, but nobody really 
noticed we had strange swimming suits. Ryan and I started swimming 
together, and it seemed like was nicer. He and I horsed around, 
while my mom and Aunt Claire talked. I pretended not to hear what 
they were talking about, but I was really listening. Mom was 
talking about me and why I was wearing diapers. She told Aunt 
Claire about our trip to Disneyland, and how Heather started using 
the toilet in October.
	Aunt Claire told mom about the problem she was having with 
Ryan. Ryan had been wetting his bed, not every day, but about 
three times a month. It was really strange, since he stopped when 
he was three. He also had occasional accidents during the day, and 
it was getting worse. She said Ryan had already had four accidents 
in the last month, and wet his bed four times. We stayed in the 
pool till 4:30 and then mom made us get out. She said that we had 
swam enough, and it was time to rest. I didn't know what she meant 
by this, but soon found out.
	All four of us went back to Aunt Claire's room, and then mom 
took Heather and me to our room. We got in our room, and mom told 
us "We are going to be out late tonight, so I want you guys to 
take a nap."
	A nap! I hadn't taken any nap since I was four years old, and 
had no intention of starting now. "I don't need a nap!" I 
protested. "It's going to be a late night and I don't want you 
cranky. Lie down, and sleep for a few hours. I'll get you up at 
six."
	"I'm not a baby, and I don't take naps."
	"Yes you are, and I don't want anymore lip."
	There was only two beds, which meant Heather and I would have 
to share. Dad was sleeping on my parent's bed, so I couldn't use 
that one. Heather and I aren't agreeable as sleeping partners 
since we both toss around. We end up knocking into each other, and 
a lot of time we get in fights. We can sleep next to each other in 
sleeping bags, but never in the same bed.
	"I don't want to sleep with Mark. I don't like sleeping when 
he pee pees."
	"He's wearing a diaper, so I don't want to hear anymore about 
it."
	Heather and I immediately started fighting with each other. 
We both hated sleeping in the same bed, and tried to stay on 
opposite ends. Eventually we fell asleep, and ended up tossing 
into each other. When that happened, we woke up and started 
fighting again.
	The fighting wasn't the worst thing that happened. I ended up 
using my diaper quite a bit, and it leaked. I peed all over the 
bed and Heather woke up. At first she thought it was her, but saw 
my clothes. My pants were all wet, and hers weren't. She cried out 
to mom. "MOMMY!"
	"What happened?" Mom and dad came rushing in.
	"The beds all wet. Did I pee pee in the bed?"
	"Let's see." Dad examined the scene, and confirmed that my 
diaper leaked. "Looks like Mark's diaper leaked. Let's get you all 
cleaned up."
	Dad took Heather in the bathroom, and cleaned her all up. Mom 
took care of my diaper and stripped the bed. I listened to Heather 
as she complained that she didn't want to sleep with me anymore. 
She said that I was a baby, and she didn't think it was fair that 
she had to she share her bed with me. I didn't say anything, but 
mom and dad both agreed that sharing beds wasn't going to work.
	"We've got to get a change in linen anyway, I'll just ask for 
a rollaway as well." Dad said, nodding his head. He left the room, 
and mom helped get both of us ready for our night out.
	A few minutes later dad was back in the room. "They're going 
to change the linen this evening. It'll be ready when we get 
back."
	"What about the rollaway? Do they have a rollaway?"
	Dad started talking silently to mom, and I couldn't hear what 
he said. He was nodding his head, and mom nodded back at him. I 
only heard a few sounds, but couldn't figure out what he said. One 
of the words ended in "b", but I wasn't really sure. It was clear 
he didn't want us to hear his answer, which I figured wasn't good 
news.
	People were coming from all over the country for this 
wedding, and a lot of them were spending Friday night in Appleton. 
The groom's family had a dinner party in Green Bay for all the 
visitors, so they had somewhere to go on Friday night. It wasn't a 
formal party, so we didn't have to get dressed up. This was more 
like a Barb-b-que, and we could wear our really fun clothes.
	There were a lot of people at this party, and I only knew a 
few of them. The only people I knew were my relatives. Becky and 
John were both really busy, and I didn't get to talk to them much 
at all. Aunt Beth and Uncle Don helped host the party, which kept 
them busy. They only gave me the obligatory "Hi, nice to see you."
	There were a lot of kids around, including a few my age. At 
first we didn't play with each other, since we didn't know each 
other. Ryan and I ran around by ourselves, and the other guys ran 
by themselves. Fortunately, it didn't take us long to start 
playing together. They were three other boys who were close to my 
age. I only remember one guy's name, which was Steven. Steven was 
a cousin of Becky's husband, and he was from Texas. I hadn't ever 
meet anyone from Texas before, and I remember his name, because 
his voice was so funny.
	The other two were brothers, and nephews of Becky's husband. 
Steven was the oldest; he was almost eleven. One of the brothers 
was nine, and the other was seven. There were a few girls around, 
and we played with them as well. We even had some of the older 
kids start playing with us, including John for a while.
	Most of the time we played tag, but right at the end of the 
night we played capture the flag. It was boy's versus girls, and 
we had a really big yard to play in. It was getting dark, which 
made it even cooler. It was easy to sneak up on the flag, and then 
try to run away. I thought the teams wouldn't be fair, because we 
were boys. Most of the girls weren't as good as us, but there was 
one girl who was really fast. She got our flag two times, and we 
couldn't catch her. One time I got their flag, and started to run 
back to base. I got so close, but she caught me.
	I thought someone would notice my diaper, but no one seemed 
to notice. I wasn't sure whether they couldn't tell, or were just 
being polite. I didn't really care, because I was having so much 
fun. I even forgot about the diaper until the very end of the 
night.
	I walked by mom, and she said, "How's your diaper?"
	I put my hand on my crotch, and said, "I don't know, but I 
think it's wet."
	"Well, let's go change it." Mom and I went to our car and she 
changed my diaper while I lied on the back seat. It was the best 
place, but at least no one noticed.
	I got up from my diaper change, and at the other end of the 
yard I saw Ryan crying. At first I didn't know why, and ran to see 
what happened. I got close enough, and soon realized why he was 
crying. There was a big wet patch right in the front of his jeans. 
He peed his pants! Aunt Claire was already on scene, so I just 
stood at the distance and watched.
	"What happened?" She asked. Her voice seemed skeptical, and 
frustrated.
	"I wet my pants."
	"Why didn't you go to the toilet?" I always thought that was 
a stupid question, because I never chose to pee my pants; at least 
not right in front of everybody. If I knew that I was going to 
pee, I would have peed in the toilet. It obvious I didn't know 
that I was going to pee, so why are you asking me.
	"I don't know." Ryan was clearly not getting any sympathy 
from his mother, and I felt sorry for him.
	"Do you want to wear diapers like Mark?"
	"No!" Ryan had to fight back his tears, but had stopped 
sobbing. He realized that sympathy wasn't going to come, and it 
was a waste of energy to cry. He now tried to maintain whatever 
dignity he had left. "Well, I suggest you start trying a little 
harder, or I might have to put you back in a diaper."

Mark Holtebeck(AKA Sparky)