IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY ===================== First of all, let me introduce myself. My name is Mark Madsen and I'm eleven years old. I'm a pretty normal guy. I live with my mom, dad and little sister. I have a dog and cat. I play baseball in the spring and soccer in the fall. I'm in the fifth grade, since I started Kindergarten a year later than everyone else. I'm not the most popular guy in my school, but I have some friends. If you saw me playing in the street with my friends, you would probably think that I was a perfectly normal kid. However, there is one secret I have that makes me really strange. I still wear diapers! I mean, I not only wear diapers at night; I wear them during the day as well. I don't wear diapers every day, but my mom makes me wear them whenever I have a lot of accidents. We have a system. Sometimes I get to wear underwear, but if I have an accident I have to wear Pull Ups. I can get my underwear back, if I go three days without an accident. If I have an accident in my Pull Ups, I have to wear diapers the next day. There are a lot of reasons that I still use diapers and we aren't really sure why I still have accidents. I guess I still need them, since I do have a lot of accidents. My mom thinks diapers are easier than doing extra laundry, so that's why I wear them at night. Diapers also keep me from embarrassing myself in front of my friends. Sure, I don't want my friends to find out that I'm wearing diapers, but I also don't want them to see me wet my pants in front of them. My friends don't have to know I'm in diapers and don't find out when I have an accident. There is another reason that I still wear diapers and you can't tell anybody else. This is the part that makes me really strange, but I don't care. Truth is; I like them. I like everything about them. I like the extra attention I get from my parents when they are changing my diaper. My dad works long hours and I don't get to see much during the day. He is the one who changes my diaper before bed and that's the time we can talk about our day. It is our special time together and I wouldn't want to change that. I also like it when my mom changes me, because I feel so safe. I also like the way diapers feel between my legs. I usually wear cloth diapers at home and they are really thick. The thick cloth makes me waddle like a little kid and I like that. I wear disposable diapers when I'm not home and they feel really cool as well. Sometimes they really crinkle and that makes me feel all funny inside. Diapers make me feel all warm and fuzzy and I love it when I have to wear them. It didn't use to be that way. When I was younger, I was like every other kid. My little sister, Heather, was potty trained just about the time I turned eight. I'm four and a half years older than she is, so I should have potty trained before she was born, but I still wore Pull Ups when Heather started to potty train. Sometime I even wear diapers during the day. My mom used to put me in diapers when we were going to out all day long and she knew I would have a lot of accidents. She figured as long as she needed to bring diapers for Heather; she might as well keep me in diapers. We went to Great America on my eighth birthday and I had to wear diapers the whole day. I hated wearing diapers and cried when my mom made me wear them on my birthday. I thought I was now a big kid and diapers made me feel like a baby. I didn't like wearing Pull Ups either, but at least I could change my own Pull Ups. My mom had to change my diapers and I hated it. I couldn't wait until I was dry and no longer needed to wear those babyish diapers. Once Heather was potty trained, I quit wearing diapers during the day. There was no way I would let my mom put a diaper on me, if my little sister wasn't wearing one. Heather would wear Pull Ups when we went out in September, so I wore them as well. Heather quit wearing Pull Ups in October, so I didn't have to wear those either. We only wore Pull Ups two more times after October. Both Heather and I wore Pull Ups when we went Trick-or-Treating on Halloween. At the end of the night, Heather's Pull Up was still dry, but mine was very wet. We also had to wear Pull Ups for a week after Christmas. We went up to a cabin in the mountains and mom made us wear Pull Ups the entire week. I think my mom wanted me to wear Pull Ups and only made Heather wear them to keep me happy. Heather had a few accidents leading up to Christmas, but not enough to justify the Pull Ups. By the end of the week it was obvious that Heather really didn't need Pull Ups and I did. She only had one accident all week and only wet her bed once. I had twelve accidents during the week and wet my bed every single night. A few weeks later mom let Heather sleep in her panties for the first time. We were using cloth diapers before then and I demanded to sleep in my underwear as well. My mom initially wanted me to stay in diapers, but decided to let me wear underwear. I naively thought that I would stop wetting the bed when I stopped wearing diapers, but soon found out differently. The next few months were miserable, because I hated waking up in soggy wet beds. I wet my bed several times each night and always woke up in pee-soaked sheets. I was always cold and tired. My mom made sure I took a bath each morning, because she knew I would smell if I didn't. I was eight years old and hated taking baths. I resented having to take them in the morning, especially since I had to take on at night as well. We tried to contain the smell from my room, but it began to smell any way. I couldn't smell it, but other kids could. I had friends come over and they would say, "It smells like pee." I also had the plastic sheet on my bed, which crinkled when they sat on it. One friend asked if I still wet my bed, but I lied. I told him my little sister sometimes took her nap on my bed and she still wet her bed. It is a good thing that Heather didn't hear me, because she would have called me, "Pee pee pants." My mom tried hard to keep Heather from teasing me, but Heather thought it was funny that I still wet and pooped my pants. My mom would get frustrated when I had an accident and Heather always said, "You should make him wear baby pants." Heather had a doll that wet her pants. She cut her hair and called him Mark. She even tried to potty train her doll; pretended it was me. Heather virtually stopped having accidents after January. She may have wet her bed once or twice, but I don't remember her having any accidents. I, of course, had a lot of accidents. Along with wetting my bed each and every night, I wet my pants at least every week. I also had a weekly messy accident, which further complicated matters. Mom never really demanded that I wear diapers or Pull Ups, but the option was always there. If we were going out for the day, she would say, "You know, you can wear Pull Ups today." I would immediately protest that I wasn't a baby and then throw a fit when I had an accident. We really didn't do that much that spring, which was unusual for us. We usually tried to do something exciting at least once a month, but I don't remember doing anything that Spring at all. I think we went skiing once, but that was probably it. Mom and dad were really busy, but I think my problems added to it. It just wasn't worth the trouble, since I always had accidents. Finally after school ended we went to Disneyland for four days. Mom wanted me to wear Pull Ups on the trip, but I refused. I asked if Heather was going to wear them and mom said, "No, she doesn't need them." "Then I don't need them either," I said in a real snotty tone. Mom had heard it all before and said "I just don't want you to have an accident. Don't come crying to me if you wet your pants at Disneyland." Well, to make a long story short, I did wet my pants at Disneyland. Several times in fact. I had two accidents on the trip to Los Angeles and two more accidents the first day at Disneyland. I had another one later that night, which caused dad to bring out the Pull Ups. They demanded that I wear them and said I would spend the rest of the week at the hotel if I didn't. I reluctantly put the Pull Ups on and went about my business. The Pull Ups turned to be a godsend, since I ended up using the full package. I wet the very last Pull Up in the package on the ride home and slept that night in my underwear. I pretended to hate them, because that's what I thought my parents wanted. I complained that the Pull Ups made me feel like a baby, but mom wouldn't hear of it. She said, "If you would just use the potty, you wouldn't have to wear them." In reality, I didn't think they were that bad. I kind of liked waking up in a dry bed and not having to worry about accidents. The next trip we took was to Wisconsin for my cousin's wedding. This was the first of my cousins to get married and I thought it was really cool to go to a wedding. I loved the idea of flying in an airplane and going to another part of the country. I had been to Wisconsin before, but I was really young. I didn't really remember much about it, since I was only about five years old. A few days before we left mom told me I was going to have to wear Pull Ups when we went to Wisconsin. I first tried to protest my way out of it (but not that hard), but mom didn't want to hear any of it. Then I asked, "Do I have to wear them during the day, or is it just at night?" "Well, the night mainly, but I want to you wear them on the plane and wedding. Now that I think about, I think you probably should just wear them all the time. We really don't want to worry about accidents while we are there." The idea of having to wear a babyish Pull Up in front of my cousins was worse than could be imagined, but not as bad as the truth. We didn't have any Pull Ups left, since I had used the last pair at Disneyland. Dad went to the store to buy some more, but came back with something different. I could tell that they weren't Pull Ups when he came in, but had no idea what they might be. Pull Ups have a dark blue package, but I could only see the top of a teal package sticking out, with a large P on it. At first I thought it was a new package for Pull Ups and just ignored it. It was a few hours before bedtime and I wanted to put off the Pull Ups as long as possible. I was just outside of the living room when dad came in and he didn't see me. Dad said, "They didn't have XL Pull Ups, but I got something that might work better." "What?" mom asked. "Pampers has a new size six, which should fit Mark fine." "Do you think he's going to allow us to put a diaper on him?" "Well, he better. I don't want to go through another trip like Disneyland. Besides, it might teach him a lesson." I couldn't believe my ears. My dad was going to make me wear diapers, just like a little baby. I didn't know what to do. I spent the rest of the day trying to figure out how to get out of this, but I couldn't think of anything. Eventually the moment of truth came. It was just a little bit after we finished dinner and my parents finished packing for the trip. I could feel the tension in their faces, as they tried to find the best time to tell me. Mom and dad didn't know that I knew about the Pampers and tried to let me go about my business. Mom asked me to pack my own bag for the trip and we were going through the bags making sure that I didn't forget anything. We were also taking stuff out that I didn't need. "Honey, you don't need to bring seven T-shirts. Let's only take three and then we'll wash them while we are there." I packed some underwear, even though we had already agreed that I would wear Pull Ups. I just wanted to slip the underwear in my bag and wear them instead. As mom was going through my bags, I could tell she was leaving the underwear till last. She went through and made sure I had some good socks and a toothbrush. It didn't take that long and we finally hit my underwear. "Honey, we already told you that you're not wearing underwear on this trip. We don't want any accidents." I knew what was coming, but still wasn't prepared. Mom didn't sugarcoat it at all. She just blurted out "You're going to have to wear diapers this time." "Diapers?" I whined. "Yes, you are going to wear diapers. We are going to be in a hotel and can only do laundry one time. We can't have you having accidents and ruining your clothes." "But I'm not a baby." "Honey, we've been through this already. I know you aren't a baby and wearing diapers isn't going to change that. You know you have accidents and wet the bed. What happens if you sleep on the plane?" I hadn't thought about it and didn't want to have an accident on the plane. I decided to ask about the Pull Ups. "Why can't I wear Pull Ups?" "The store was out of them when daddy was there. Besides, these are better. Pull Ups always leak." "But diapers are for babies." "Not these. They are bigger, for kids." I resigned myself to wearing diapers and decided to see if I could get Heather in them as well. I figured it wouldn't be as bad if Heather had them also. I didn't want to wear diapers when my four year old sister wore panties. "What about Heather?" "Heather doesn't need diapers. She's using the potty every time now, even at night. You still need them, because you have accidents. You peed your pants two times yesterday." Mom was getting more direct with me as the year moved on. "Go take your bath and then we will get you ready for bed." I quit fighting and took my bath like a good little boy. I tried to take as long as possible in the tub, since I knew what was coming after I got out. I take showers now, but back then I took baths. Sometimes I wish I still took baths, since they are more fun. That time I played with all my toys and spent almost thirty minutes in the tub. I finally got out when mom told me I had to leave. I got out of the tub and dried myself off. I walked in my bedroom and mom was waiting for me. She had the diapers and was ready to put them on me. That's the biggest difference between Pull Ups and diapers. Pull Ups feel just like a diaper when I have them on, but I can put them on myself. My parents have to put the diapers on me. Mom told me to get on the floor and I followed her directions. The first thing mom did was rub lotion up and down my legs. I hadn't worn diapers for seven months and forgot how much I liked the attention mom gave me. After the lotion, she put some Vaseline on my bottom. Then she placed the diaper under my legs and pulled up to my stomach. She taped the diaper up and then helped me into my pajamas. The pajamas covered my diaper, but you could see the bulge. I walked back into the living room and could hear the diaper crinkle each step. I wondered what Heather would say, but fortunately she was already asleep. I didn't have to worry about her till the next morning, which came soon enough. I prayed that I would stay dry that night. I hoped that if I was dry in the morning, mom wouldn't make me wear them during the day. My hopes dashed away when I woke up. My diaper was soaked! It didn't leak, but it was close. I wondered what mom would say, but she just laughed. "Good thing you had the diaper on, you would have really soaked the bed last night." The strange part came when she took off my soggy diaper. I was used to wearing diapers at night, but rarely had to wear them during the day. I hadn't worn a diaper during the day since my birthday and it felt strange when mom placed a fresh diaper underneath my legs after cleaning me up. I suddenly realized that I was going to wear diapers all day long for the next week. Part 2 At first I didn't feel strange in diapers. It had been a long time since I had worn them, but I still knew what they felt like. Diapers didn't feel that much different from Pull Ups and it had only been a few weeks so I wore Pull Ups. It wasn't until Heather got up from the table that I felt strange. I looked at Heather and it was obvious (at least to me) that she didn't have a diaper on. She had a nice sun dress that dropped to her knees, but when she leaned down I could see her panties. I suddenly felt the bulk between my legs and squirmed to get comfortable. When I did, I heard my diaper rustle. It was only a faint sound that no one else could hear, but I was sure everyone could hear it. I looked around to see if anyone noticed, but nobody turned. Then I saw the diaper bag on the counter. The diaper bag was common site in our home, especially when we were going out for the day. Mom put a lot of our extras in the diaper bag. I never cared when mom carried the diaper bag, because Heather needed it as well. It didn't look that strange, since Heather was still young enough for diapers. This time I realized that it was for me and only me. All those diapers were just because I needed them and I resented it. It wasn't a really babyish diaper bag. It was powder blue with white clouds. It was pretty obviously a diaper bag, but most people think mom carries it as her "mother's bag" just to keep all the extra stuff that she needs for Heather and me. I began to pout, but no one noticed. I just sulked and kept quiet. One of our neighbors drove us to the airport and Heather and I sat in the back of her van. Heather was excited about the trip and airplane flight, but I didn't care. I just kept thinking about the diapers I had on and how mad I was at my mom. I wanted to punish her for making me wear diapers, but didn't know how. Suddenly I had to fart and realized how I could punish her. I concentrated really hard and tried poo my diaper. I wanted to lay the messiest turd I could in my diaper and wanted to be the stickiest crap I've ever taken. I really didn't need to poop, but eventually I got something in my diaper. I mostly peed, since I was straining so much, but there was some fecal matter in there. I was satisfied with my work, although I wished it was messier. I hoped to get diarrhea and then I could really punish my mom. At first no one noticed what I had done. The turd was firm and didn't smell a whole lot. At first I couldn't even smell it, but then I got whiff. It smelled like a really bad fart. It didn't take long for Heather to smell it and she cried out "Mommy, Mark farted." We opened the windows, but it didn't help much. Mom waited a few more minutes and then asked, "Honey, did you poop your diaper?" I gave my best apologetic "Yes." Mom got a quizzical look on her face, since pooping wasn't really a problem for me. I rarely messed my pants anymore; I usually just wet myself. Even when I wore diapers, I was regular enough that we could plan on me pooping in the toilet. I normally didn't poo until the afternoon; so around two o'clock mom would take me to the bathroom to poop. I think she knew that I did it on purpose, but she didn't act mad. "I guess I'll change it when we get to airport." There were two people in the car who got this amazed look on their faces. The first was our neighbor, who knew my story. She knew me enough to know that I had accidents and knew about Disneyland. "I thought Mark was going to wear Pull Ups?" "Well, Safeway didn't have the XL size, but they had a special on the new Pampers. We got those instead." Heather, on the other hand, had no idea that I would even wear Pull Ups. Heather didn't really understand how I could still have potty accidents when she didn't anymore. When Heather was still in diapers, she and my mom went shopping with a neighbor girl and her mother. The girl was just a smidge over two, but had already potty trained. Heather watched as this girl used the potty all day long and received a lot of praise. Heather felt like a baby in her diapers and wanted to be a big girl. From that point on, she associated diapers with being a baby. "Why is Mark a baby today?" She asked. She didn't mean to hurt me, but I felt the jibe hard. "He isn't a baby. Mark is just wearing diapers because he might have accidents." "But if he has accidents, then he is a baby." "NO. Babies are babies because they are not old enough to be kids." Mom wanted to stop the conversation in its tracks, but it wasn't working. Heather didn't understand how I could wear diapers and not be a baby. "So, boys are babies longer than girls." "No honey, boys and girls are babies the same time." "Then why is Mark a baby today?" Heather was totally serious and didn't wanted to know the answer. "That's enough Heather Marie. Mark is not a baby, he just needs diapers." Heather wasn't very old, but she was old enough to know middle names are not a good thing to question. She stopped asking why I was a baby, but didn't understand how I could still be in diapers. It took another twenty minutes to get to the airport. By then the smell had dissipated somewhat; mainly because the windows were open. Dad and Heather checked out bags at the curb and mom and I took care of my dirty diaper. Mom had flown from the San Francisco Airport enough to know the best place to change my diaper was. She took me to a special family restroom designed specifically for families with small children. It wasn't the main bathroom, which was good. Both mom and dad had changed my diaper in bathrooms before and I always hated it. I was too big for the diaper changing table, unless it was a one of the cove type. We usually did it in the handicapped stall, but people always looked strangely when we walked out. Dad usually took me to the men's bathroom, since it was awkward for me to go in the ladies' bathroom. The family bathrooms are by far the best place to change my diaper. Instead of being just a series of stalls, we walk into a hallway. Once in the hall way there are three private bathrooms about the size of a walk-in closet. Each has a toilet, a changing table and a sink. It offers us privacy, which is exactly what we need. The poop stuck a little to my bottom and it took mom a little bit of time to get me clean. It took her about five minutes to change my diaper and I kept wondering what she was thinking. We didn't talk much during the change. Neither one of us felt like talking and we didn't know how to use conversation to alleviate the awkward situation of changing an older child's diaper. Now we begin to talk to each other and changes go by without knowing it. We can even joke about changing my diaper, which we couldn't do then. That time we just looked at each other awkwardly and it took for ever. Mom finally changed my diaper and I walked to our gate. I don't think anyone could tell that I had a diaper underneath my pants, but I was very aware of it. I kept thinking people were looking at my puffy butt and laughing. I swear I heard people saying "Look at that kid! He's wearing a diaper!" Mom sensed that I was uncomfortable and calmly told me "No one sees a thing. Don't worry about it." We arrived a little later than we wanted and we didn't have to wait long to board our plane. I was happy to get out of the watchful eyes of the public. Our plane was a 767 and we had an entire middle row. I hate getting the middle of an airplane, since there is no window seat. You really have nothing to do but look at the middle of the airplane and that's boring. Unfortunately, we always get the middle row, since that works best for us. To make matters worse, mom and dad sat on the aisle, leaving Heather and me in the middle. That way, no child was away from a parent and it was easy to take us to the bathroom. We started listening to our headphones and I quickly made myself home on the airplane. Mom must have brought 3,000 little books, puzzles and games for Heather and me on the plane, but I soon got bored of all of it. The flight to Chicago was a little over three hours and last two were dead boring. We got lunch on the plane and then we got the movie. I forgot what movie it was, but I didn't like. Finally the movie ended and we had another hour before we landed in Chicago. I hadn't really flooded my diaper, but had slowly wet little bits into it as the flight wore on. By this time my diaper was getting wet and I started to feel it. The Pampers did a really good job holding all the wetness, but I needed a change. I tucked on mom's arm and pointed to my diaper. "Is your diaper wet?" She asked. "Yeah. Can you change it?" The idea of asking my mom to change my wet diaper didn't sound right, but I went with it. "Do you think it will last till we reach Chicago?" "I don't know." "Well, let me check." Then she did something I didn't expect her to do. She stuck her fingers inside my pants and up against my wet diaper. "It's pretty wet. I better change it." She went to the overhead and pulled down my diaper bag. "I was hoping it would last till Chicago." We walked to the galley and mom got the attention of one of the flight attendants. I felt like a little kid following his mom down the aisle, especially with the big diaper bag leading my way. Mom asked the flight attendant if there was a place to change a diaper. The stewardess said, "Well, there's a basin that you can use for a baby." Mom pointed to me and embarrassingly said, "I think he's too big. Do have anyplace where I can change his diaper." Mom told a complete stranger about my diapers, which really embarrassed me, but the stewardess didn't seem phased. She smiled and said, "Oh, we deal with that every once in awhile. There's a larger galley at the back of the plane that will work." I proceeded with my walk of shame down the rest of the airplane. I felt like I should hold up a sign telling the entire plane that I was going to get my diaper changed. We reached the back of the plane and mom had to ask another flight attendant. "I was told that I could change his diaper back here." The flight attendant looked at my mom and said "Yeah, I guess. He can lie down right here, if you want." This was a galley with a little wider gap. I lied on a towel right in the galley and mom proceeded to change me right there. This time we talked about the flight and the impending wedding of my cousin. It didn't seem nearly as bad as the last time; until we finished. Mom had just finished putting the diaper on me and was helping me get dressed. A passenger, older lady who was a bit large, accidentally opened the curtain. She saw me standing in my diaper and stood back. She didn't say anything to us, but as we left she pointed at me and said "Imagine a boy that age in diapers!" It wasn't that loud, but loud enough for others to hear it. I noticed a few people turn to look at me. Some shook their heads and others gave us an awkward smile. I know now that it wasn't a big deal. Most people didn't even hear the comment and most of the people who heard it couldn't care less. Maybe one in ten would care and some of those cared because they were in diapers. The only people who think it's bad are jerks and I shouldn't care what they think. At the time it was the absolute worse thing that could happen and I felt awful. I got back to my seat and did something I hadn't done in years. Without thinking I stuck my thumb in my mouth and began to suck on it. At first my mom didn't say anything, but then she pulled my thumb out my mouth. When I used to suck my thumb, she would make me suck on a pacifier. She felt the pacifier was better for my teeth and let me use that. I was five years old and still using a pacifier. My thumb ventured back into my mouth again and she pulled it out again. This time she looked me sternly in the eye and said, "If you want to suck on something, I'll pull a pacifier out of the bag. Do you want a pacifier?" The idea of sucking of a pacifier just made me feel more like a baby. I was sure everyone now thought I was an idiot and didn't want to give any further proof. I dejectedly said "No." "Then keep your thumb out of your mouth, it's bad for your teeth." I was feeling really low and tried to keep my thumb from my mouth. It was hard and before I knew it my hand was at my mouth. I soon began to suck on my knuckles, but I soon lodged my whole thumb into my mouth. I must have sucked on for a few minutes, but then mom went back into the diaper bag and pulled out a pacifier. Heather still used pacifiers when she was uncomfortable and was using one for her ears. Mom pulled out my thumb and handed me the pacifier. "Here, suck on this." I put it in my mouth, but it wasn't the same. I took it out, but then felt uncomfortable and put the pacifier back in my mouth. I ended up getting comfortable with the pacifier in my mouth and kept there for the rest of the flight. We got off the plane in Chicago and rented a car for the week. It was cheaper for us to rent a car in Chicago and drive to Oshkosh, than to fly directly to Oshkosh. We needed a car in Oshkosh anyway, so it made more sense to rent. Just before we left the rental car lot, mom took Heather to the potty. I was still dry, but she decided to have me go with her as well. The three of us went into the ladies' bathroom and mom made sure we used the potty. She took off my diaper and had me sit on the toilet. She asked me to poop in the toilet, which took me a few minutes. I suddenly really felt like a little baby trying to poop for his mommy. When I finally did my business, I lay back on the floor and she put my diaper back on. Heather was there the whole time watching and asking mom if she was a big girl. "Am I big girl mommy?" "Yes honey, you are." "I'm a big girl because I wear big girl panties. Mark has baby pants, but I have big girl panties." Mom let Heather go a little bit before she stopped, which didn't do anything for my confidence. Heather only weighed about thirty-seven pounds and still needed a car seat. We rented a car seat for her; fortunately I gained weight, or I would have need a car seat as well. A year earlier I weighed about forty-six pounds, but fortunately gained ten pounds that year. I didn't need a car seat and there wasn't one big enough for me. Heather didn't mind the car seat, but didn't understand why I didn't get one. "Why doesn't Mark need a car seat?" She whined. "Because he's bigger and can use a seat belt." Dad tried to explain the law to Heather, but Heather didn't want to hear it. "But he's the baby, not me." "Heather, I've told you to stop teasing your brother. Now stop it!" Mom was getting tired of Heather calling me the baby. "I'm not a baby and if you don't stop calling me that I'm going to hit you." Of all the violations in our family, hitting was the biggest. If I ever got in trouble, more often than not, it was because I hit Heather. Heather would call me a name (usually some form of baby) and I would get mad. She would keep calling me the name and I would hit her. She would cry and I got in trouble. "Mark, there is no hitting! Now the two of you cool it, or you both will be in trouble." It was happening again. I wasn't doing anything and I was going to get in trouble. Heather had the last word. She got in her car seat and said "At least I use the potty like a big girl." I desperately wanted to throw her as far as I could, but had to hold my tongue. I just sat there and pretended not to notice Heather. It took us a little about two and half hours to drive from Chicago to my aunt Catherine's house, which was in Oshkosh. I flooded my diaper about an hour out of Chicago, but didn't say anything. I didn't want to admit that I had just soaked my diaper in front of Heather, so I pretended everything was fine. We were about a half hour from my aunt's house when Heather announced that she needed to potty. "Number one, or two pumpkin?" My dad sweetly asked Heather. "Number one." "We are almost of Aunt Catherine's house. Can you hold it?" Dad didn't like stopping the car unless he had to. "I think so. I'm a good holder." She was right; Heather could wait fairly long for a four year old. "I know you are, honey." Dad seemed relieved that he wouldn't have to stop the car. We were in the farm country and a few minutes later Heather let it be known that she had to go NOW! "Daddy, I really have to potty. Can we stop?" Dad knew Heather well enough to know that if we didn't, she would have an accident. I kind of wish that she wouldn't have made it, but dad pulled off the highway and to an empty patch of country road. Heather jumped out of the car and did her business. While Heather was peeing on the side of the road, dad decided to change my diaper. Dad changed my diaper rather quickly and without the gentleness that mom did. I didn't really care, since it felt nice to be in a dry diaper. We didn't have anyplace to throw away my soggy diaper, so mom kept it in a bag till we got to Aunt Catherine's. That's when the absolute worse thing that could happen, happened. Aunt Catherine is my mom's youngest sister, about ten years younger than my mom. She was in her late twenties back then and not married. She was always one of my favorite aunt's, because we always had fun with. She was the aunt who would take us to the movies and didn't expect us to be good. My mom's other sister, Aunt Beth, was my mom's older sister. This is the mother of the bride and about four years older than my mom. She already had kids when I was born and treated me like my mom did. It wasn't that I didn't like Aunt Beth, but I had more fun with Aunt Catherine. We spent the night with Aunt Catherine, since Beth was busy preparing for the wedding. Aunt Catherine's house was small, but we had enough room for the five of us. Aunt Catherine was always peppy, but didn't have kids. As a result, she sometimes suffered from foot in mouth disease and this was one of those times. We got out of the car and did the obligatory hugs. Once we finally greeted each other, mom went back to the car to get the bag that held my used diaper. It was in a white bag, but pretty obvious what was in the bag. That, along with diaper bag told Aunt Catherine that one of us was still in diapers. Aunt Catherine assumed that it was Heather, but was surprised that she would still need them. Heather was four and a half years old and getting a little old for diapers. We hadn't spent enough time together to know that I still wet my bed. "Heather! A big girl like you still needing diapers!" The words came out of Catherine's mouth before she could even stop them, or mom could cushion the blow. Heather's response was almost as fast. Heather was extremely proud of her big girl panties, since she had worked so hard to get them. She didn't want to lose face to her favorite aunt and said, "Those aren't for me. Mark's the one in baby pants. I wear big girl panties." She pulled up her dress and said, "See!" Aunt Catherine was stunned and we didn't know quite what to say. She turned to my mom and said, "Is this true?" "Yes, it is. Mark wets the bed and has been having accidents. He's been having enough that we decided to keep him in diapers for this trip and hopefully we will be able to start again when we get back." I wanted to find someplace to hide. There I was right in front of my favorite aunt and she just found out that I needed a diaper. I tried to run away, but my feet wouldn't move. I wondered what Aunt Beth was thinking and what the next week was going to be like. I had visions of my aunts and cousins all taking their turns changing and feeding me. I was sure that I was going to be the family baby. There was an awkward moment right after mom told her sister that it was my diaper. I think mom wished she could have taken back what she just said and I wanted to kill her for saying. Aunt Catherine wished the whole thing could start over again and she pretended like the diaper didn't exist. Aunt Catherine finally broke the silence with a very forced "Just like Ron." Ron was my mom's brother. He was just a few years younger than my mom and about seven years older than Aunt Catherine. We spent more time with my uncle Ron's family, since our families were close to the same age. He has two kids; just like us. Ryan is a year younger than me and had just turned eight a few days before the wedding. The girl was Rachel and she is only two months older than Heather. Rachel and Heather are almost twins; they even look alike. At the time I didn't pay any attention to Aunt Catherine's side note. I became catatonic and barely heard what she said. I don't think I even knew whom she was talking about, since I always called him Uncle Ron. The rest of the night was really uncomfortable. Mom felt guilty about what she said, but also realized that there was nothing that she could do about it. She spilled the milk and now we had to clean it up. Aunt Catherine didn't know what to say to me and just pretended like nothing happened. She asked me about school and what I liked doing. She tried anything to keep the topic off my diapers. Fortunately I didn't need a change until it was time for bed. My diaper was wet, but not enough to justify changing. When it was time for bed, mom took me into the guest room and removed the damp diaper I had on. I was right in between the age when I stopped taking baths and started taking showers. I actually preferred taking a bath, since I could play in the tub, but showers were cooler. Showers always made me feel older, so given the option I always took showers. Mom gave me the option that night and I quickly choose a shower. I needed something to make me feel like a big boy and the only thing I could do was take a shower. After my shower, I walked back into the guest room and lied on the bed. Mom put another diaper on me and then helped me into my pajamas. Mom was getting pretty good at changing my diaper by then, since she had already changed four diapers that day. She tried to apologize about telling Aunt Catherine, but I wasn't ready to hear it. Heather and I slept in the living room, on a pair of special air mattresses that Aunt Catherine had for guest. She laid them out right on the floor and then made our beds. Then she did something really cool. She put a big blanket over two chairs and made a tent over both of our mattresses. Heather and I both thought it was pretty cool that we were sleeping on the floor, but underneath the tent was really cool! Aunt Catherine gave us a good night kiss and then mom and dad tucked us in our little tent. Heather was really tired and crashed when the lights went out. I was tired too, but didn't fall asleep for a while. I thought about the day I had and what the next few days would be like. I still didn't know about the diapers and wanted desperately to get my underwear back. I thought that mom would give me back my underwear if I was dry in the morning, but knew that I would wet if I fell asleep. I decided to stay awake all night and use the bathroom when I needed. I tried to stay awake as long as I could, but it was really boring sitting in the dark. I couldn't turn on the TV, because mom would know I wasn't sleeping. So I just lied in my tent and tried not to sleep. I couldn't stay awake and gradually drifted off to sleep. I have no idea when it happened, but next thing I remembered was waking up about 7:30 the next morning. The sheets were dry and for a second I thought, "Cool, I didn't wet the bed." It really stinks to wake up each morning in cold pee saturated sheets that were beginning to smell. I really hated it and felt awful about all the work I was putting mom through. It only took me a few seconds until I remembered that I had a diaper on and I put my hands to my diaper. It was sopping! I don't know how many times I peed that night, but my diaper was saturated. I was close to flooding it and knew I needed a change. I decided to get up and go to mom. I got out of our tent and the only person up was Aunt Catherine. Aunt Catherine was making coffee in her kitchen, which was right next to her living room. It was one of those houses that had an open kitchen, right next to the living room. I walked to the kitchen. My diaper was so soggy that it hung below my hips. It weighed so much that it was about to fall completely off, but amazingly it didn't leak! Aunt Catherine looked at me and it was obvious I needed my diaper changed. I meekly asked, "Is my mom up?" "Not yet. What's a matter honey? Do you need your diaper changed?" I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to tell Aunt Catherine that I wet my diaper, but I really needed a change. I was getting uncomfortable and was afraid that my diaper would fall off. As hard as it was to admit, I fessed up and said, "Yeah." "I can change your diaper." There was almost a hint of anticipation in her voice. That's exactly what I didn't want Aunt Catherine to do. It was bad enough that she had to know that I wore diapers, but I couldn't imagine having Aunt Catherine change my diapers. I mean I could handle having Aunt Beth change my diaper, since she never let us do anything anyway. Aunt Catherine was always the cool aunt; she was almost the really cool older cousin. I would rather have had Becky, my cousin getting married, change my diaper; because I didn't worry about impressing Becky. Aunt Catherine could tell I was reluctant and tried to quell my fears. "Come on, I used to change your diaper when you were a baby. It's nothing I haven't seen before and I won't tell anybody." The combination of the soggy diaper and Aunt Catherine almost begging convinced me to let her change my diaper. My response was far from enthusiastic, but I gradually said "Ok." "Great, I'll get your diapers and clothes and you can go in my room." There was a hallway next to her kitchen. The guest room was just to the left and her room was on the right. She went in the guest room to pick up my diapers and clothes and I waddled to the right into her room. The diaper was getting so heavy that I had to waddle like a kid learning to walk. It was a small hallway and I heard Aunt Catherine tell my mom, "Mark's diaper is really soaked, so I'm going to change it. Where are his diapers?" I didn't hear what my dad said, but a few seconds later Aunt Catherine was carrying my diaper bag and a change of clothes. "I haven't done this since Rachel was three years old." That comment didn't make me feel any better. Aunt Catherine pulled out the changing pad and placed it on the floor. I obligingly lay down on it and she undid the soggy diaper that had virtually fallen off anyway. Everything the diaper covered was drenched and Aunt Catherine took baby wipes and cleaned it all up. She held my legs with her left hand and wiped my bottom with her right. It was like she was a pro and you would hardly know she was changing an eight year old's diaper. At first she didn't say anything and I was just lying naked on the floor. I tried to day dream, mainly to take my mind off my present situation. It took her about thirty seconds to finish cleaning my bottom, but it seemed like five minutes. Finally she finished and started to speak. "You know, lots of kids wet the bed." "Yeah, but they are all babies. I'm probably the oldest kid in history to still need diapers." "Have you ever seen Goodnites?" "Yeah." "Well, who do think they make those for? Do you know they are making those in an even bigger size?" "Do you know anybody else who wets the bed?" "Not that I know for sure, but I know some people who used to wet the bed and their pants. You do, too." During this whole time she was drying off the area that she cleaned and pouring baby powder on my bottom. "Who do I know who used to wet their beds?" I was very doubtful that anyone I knew wet their beds. I could accept that a few people my age still wet their beds, but they weren't very many. "Well, do you promise not to tell them I told you?" At this point I wanted to know and how could I say anything. Aunt Catherine held an even bigger secret about me, so I wouldn't tell anyone. "I promise; tell me." "I know that your cousin John wore diapers when he was your age." John is Becky's younger brother and about nine years older than me. At this point Becky was 21 and John was 17. "How do you know that?" I didn't believe that my big cousin John could have wet his bed. He is a big football player, who plays in College now. At the time John had become the biggest person in our family and everyone bragged how big he was. I couldn't imagine someone like that could ever have wet his bed. "I used to baby-sit him and Becky when they were younger. I had change his diaper at bedtime. He was still wetting when I went to college, so he might not have stopped." That sounded pretty cool, but I wanted more. Aunt Catherine placed the fresh diaper under my legs and I asked "Who else?" "Uncle Ron used to wet his bed as well. He even wet his pants and he was older than you." "Uncle Ron used to wet his bed?" "Yeah and he used to accidents in his pants. I remember when I was five and I had to take a nap on Uncle Ron's bed. I didn't wet the bed, but Ron did and had a plastic sheet on his bed. I couldn't believe my big brother still wet the bed, but saw him wet his pants after that. He was twelve years old and I thought only babies wet their pants. I got in trouble for teasing him and calling him a baby. I don't remember when he stopped, but I think he still wet when I started school." I suddenly didn't feel so alone when I heard about my other relatives who wet their beds. Aunt Catherine finished diapering me and helped me get dressed. We went back to the kitchen and she fixed me some juice. The two of us just sat at the table eating our breakfast for another twenty minutes before anyone else woke up. It was really a nice time and I began to feel diapers weren't that bad after all. Part 3 Mom was the first to join our little powwow. There really wasn't a lot of talking. Aunt Catherine and I were just sitting quietly at the table enjoying a simple breakfast. Aunt Catherine had bought some donuts, which I normally didn't get to eat. I had a donut and a big glass of orange juice; not the usual glass of OJ, but the same size that I usually drank milk in. Aunt Catherine had the paper out, and we were both reading the paper. She read the front page, and I read the comics. Mom groggily walked up to the table. I normally didn't see mom like that, since she always woke up before me. When I was younger I used to think that mom never slept, since she always put me to bed and then woke me up in the morning. Mom hadn't had her coffee, and didn't say anything till she sipped her coffee. Aunt Catherine spoke up. "Good morning. Did you sleep well?" Mom mumbled something, but I didn't understand what she said. Finally she took the first sip of coffee, and the cheery morning smile came back. "I slept really well, that's a lot better bed than you had." Mom walked over to me, and gently kissed my forehead. It was her way of saying good morning. She asked, "Did Aunt Katie change your diaper?" I always called her Aunt Catherine, since she hated Katie. Mom used to call her Katie, and sometimes forgot. "Yeah." "That's nice, did you thank her?" I couldn't remember whether I thanked her for changing my diaper. I never thought about. I was grateful, especially since she helped me feel better, but I didn't consider thanking her for changing my diaper. I figured I'd better thank her now, before Heather woke up. I turned to my aunt, and said, "Thank you." "You're welcome. .. ." She was about to say something else, but stopped herself. Mom started talking to Aunt Catherine. "I should let you change all his diapers. Its a nice break." "It wasn't that bad. I'll gladly take care of Mark at the wedding." "Don't speak too quickly, I may take you up on it. You still haven't changed one of his poopy diapers. His poops are pretty bad." "Well, that goes with territory." "If you keep giving him that much juice, you will get your chance to change him." It felt really strange to have my mom and aunt discuss my bodily functions right in front of me. I quickly downed my juice and went back into the living room to watch some TV. Turning on the television woke Heather up. Heather was still a little drowsy, and waking up in an unfamiliar environment startled her. She cried out "Mommy!" I immediately stuck my head inside our little tent. Heather instantly relaxed when she realized she wasn't alone. I didn't understand why she shouted out and hoped that she wet the bed. I secretly thought, "if she wets her bed, mom may make her wear diapers as well." I decided to be a good big brother, and help my sister through this accident. "What's a matter? Did you wet the bed?" As hard as I tried to hide it, I couldn't disguise my optimistic anticipation of her really being wet. Heather fully recovered from the initial shock, and was back to her normal self. "No. I don't need baby diapers. I'm gonna use the potty like a big girl." Heather ran straight into the bathroom and peed all by herself. She normally took help from my parents, but was beginning to want independence in using the toilet. Her desire for independence increased when I went back to diapers. Mom saw Heather come from the bathroom to the kitchen and praised her for using the toilet all by herself. "Did my big girl use the potty all by herself?" There was an element of surprise in her voice, since Heather rarely tried this by herself, especially now that she was in a different bathroom. "Uh huh, I can do it by myself now," Heather pronounced proudly. "Did you wash your hands like mommy wants you?" "Yeah. I flushed the potty, and then my washed hands. Just like you showed me." Aunt Catherine expressed her admiration. "My what a big girl you're becoming!" Mom candidly responded "Yeah, maybe she can teach Mark." I know mom wasn't trying to make me feel bad. She was frustrated. She felt inadequate as a parent, because I couldn't use the toilet. She didn't like to compare herself to my Aunt Claire, who is Uncle Ron's wife. Both Rachel and Ryan were potty trained before their third birthday. I'm almost a year older than Ryan, yet he was potty trained more than a year before me. Rachel and Heather are almost the same age, but Rachel was potty trained about a year before Heather. A year earlier Uncle Ron and Aunt Claire took Ryan and Rachel to California for vacation. We spent a week together, usually doing something each day. Neither Rachel nor Ryan needed diapers at any point during the week. They made it all the way to California, in a car, without a single accident! They didn't even wet their beds! Heather still wasn't potty trained at all; she wouldn't start until the fall. I still wore diapers at night, and used them on the outings as well. Mom was so embarrassed, because Heather and I spent most of the week in diapers, while Ryan and Rachel didn't need them. I didn't feel as bad about needing diapers, but I was still apprehensive about meeting Ryan. Ryan and I weren't especially great pals, but hung out on family outings since our ages were so close. Our families figured we should be great friends, but we almost always got in fights. Ryan wasn't very nice. He was really selfish with his toys, and called me names all the time. It didn't help matters that I wasn't really potty trained. He didn't understand why I still wet my pants, and it got worse the older he got. The last time he kept calling me a baby, and wouldn't let me play with any of the toys he brought. He said, "These aren't for babies." Of course, he always wanted to play with my toys, but I couldn't play with his. I tried to retaliate and prevent him from using my toys, but I got in trouble. When I protested, dad said, "Well, you're older, and should know better." We had a hotel room in Appleton for the next two nights, but couldn't get in the room until 2:00. We still needed to get a wedding gift, so my parents decided to take us to the mall by our hotel. Before we left I realized the big glass of OJ made its way through my system. I had to pee, and the bathroom was full. I decided just to use my diaper, and just let it go. Right in my diaper. I think mom could tell that I wet on purpose, because I stood up to pee. When I finished I announced, "Mom, I wet my diaper." This clearly frustrated mom. She was getting herself dressed and helping Heather get ready. She knew that I did it on purpose, and sighed, "Mark, I wish you would let me know before you go potty. Just because you're wearing a diaper doesn't mean you have to use it. You'll just have to wait until I finish getting dressed." I pretty much flooded the diaper, and it was leaking on the side. "But mommy, it's leaking." I cried. "Well, my hands are full right now. Daddy will be out in a minute, and he can change you." I knew my dad would eventually have to change my diaper, but I wanted to prevent it as long as possible. I didn't know how gentle dad would be, and was afraid he would be angry. I realized that it was going to happen, and prepared for the worst. Aunt Catherine came to my rescue. She called me into her room, and said, "Mark, I'm free. I can change your diaper." Once again, I was lying on the floor in Aunt Catherine's room while she changed a soggy diaper. We spent most of the morning at the mall in Appleton. It was a big mall, much bigger than the one next to my house. This was a bigger mall than ours, but still had the same stuff. Mom, Aunt Catherine, and Heather went to all the girlie stores, while Dad and I went to Sears. I had the choice to stay with mom and Aunt Catherine, or go with dad. I chose dad, which was really cool. We went to the hardware section in Sears, and dad looked at all the power tools. I didn't know anything about tools, which made me bored. I started playing with the tools and dad got mad. "Mark, stop playing with that. Those aren't toys!" At first I was afraid to talk to him. Dad was normally hard to talk to and I thought he was mad at me because I was wearing diapers. When I said that I wanted to stay with dad, it looked like he preferred that I stay with mom. Mom gave him my diaper bag, which had the big Mickey Mouse ears on it. It wasn't something dad wanted to carry and he abruptly gave it to me. He said, "Here, you can carry this." It looked like carrying the diaper bag embarrassed dad, especially since it was for his eight year old son. Eventually my curiosity got the better of me and I began to ask about the various tools we saw. Dad was so appreciative that I showed some interest and answered each question. It was a great father-son moment that we hadn't ever shared before. He wasn't speaking to me as the disappointing young son, but the with total pride that his son wanted to learn about tools. He told me what each tool could do and why he wanted to get one. He showed that he would get, and told me what he was going to do with it. I had never seen my dad like this, and I suddenly felt much closer than I ever did before. We got so engrossed in our conversation that we totally lost track of time and I lost track of using the bathroom. I soon felt my diaper sag and realized I needed a change. I wondered what would happen to our newfound respect if dad needed to change my diaper, but knew a leaking diaper would be worse. I swallowed my pride and told dad about my soggy diaper. I tucked on his shirt and whispered "Dad, I peed in my diaper. I need a new one." I could tell that he wished mom was around. If mom was around I would have told her and she would take care of it. Now, even if mom came by, he still had to change me. If he told mom that I needed a change, mom would just show him which bathroom to use. At first I thought he was going to be mad, but he didn't seem angry. "Let's see if we can find the bathroom." The men's bathroom at Sears was in the top floor, and we walked all around the store trying to find it. I came really close to soaking the diaper. It couldn't hold much more, but I've had wetter diapers. I knew it wouldn't leak, but really wanted a new one. Dad eventually had to ask one of the clerks, and he pointed us to the right direction. There was one of those diaper changing tables in the bathroom, but it wasn't big enough for me. Dad pulled it down and examined it. He turned his head, and said, "I don't think you'll fit there. I guess were going to have to do it in a stall." We both walked into the handicapped stall, and dad undid my diaper before I lay down. It didn't take him long. He changed my diaper like it was an Olympic event for speed. The diaper came off, he wiped down, powdered my bottom and then put the fresh diaper in place. All told it only took him a minute, and it seemed faster than that. There wasn't any chatter, but I didn't feel awful. The only awkward part came when we got out of the stall. Dad was still holding the used diaper and tossed in the garbage can on our way out. Another guy was using the urinal and I saw him stare when we both came out of the stall. Then he saw dad throw away a wet diaper and he really had a stunned face. I needed one more change before we got to the hotel. It was right after lunch, and I pooped in my diaper. I was walking with Aunt Catherine, and she looked at me and said, "Did you just poop?" I didn't say anything, but I smiled. Aunt Catherine told mom, "Mark just messed his diaper. I'm taking him to the family bathroom." "Are you sure you want to do that? His stinky diapers are really bad." "Don't worry about it." I walked with Aunt Catherine across the mall, to the family restroom. Both bathrooms were occupied. Catherine and I waited in a small waiting room, which fortunately didn't take very long. We only waited about a minute. I didn't like waiting, because I knew someone would see me go in with Aunt Catherine. Aunt Catherine was carrying my diaper bag, which made it pretty obvious I needed diapers. I didn't feel like hearing in snide comments, but I expected it I just kept my head on the floor, and waited for a room to open up. Finally a door opened, and I couldn't believe what I saw. I saw a kid who looked about five years old and his mother was carrying the same type of bag that Aunt Catherine was carrying. I wasn't sure, but assumed he was in diapers as well. Aunt Catherine and I both looked at each other but didn't say anything. And then I looked at the boy and he looked at me. We both knew what each other was thinking but didn't know what to say to one another. I waited until Aunt Catherine closed the door, and asked, "Do you think he's wearing diapers?" "I don't know, but it looks that way. I'm sure you're not the only kid who has to wear a diaper." "How old do you think he is?" I guessed that he was five, but he could be any age. A lot of people would think I was only six, because I was so small. He may have been a big four year old, but he didn't act like he was four. He looked embarrassed when he came out of the bathroom, and little kids don't get embarrassed about diapers. "I'm not sure. Probably just a few years younger than you, maybe six." Aunt Catherine opened up my stinky diaper and held her breath. "Your mom wasn't lying. You really did a number in this diaper." I felt kind of guilty, but didn't really know why. I was wearing diapers for a reason, and so I might as well use them. Anyway, I didn't know I was going to poop until it was too late. I didn't really try to hold it when I was wearing diapers, and just let everything go. I realized I had less control in diapers than underwear. I apologized anyway. "I'm sorry." "Don't be sorry, that's what diapers are for. I just have to clean you. Anyway, it gives us a chance to talk. I don't get to talk to you much, since you live in California. So tell me, what do you like to do?" Aunt Catherine began talking to me like that while she was cleaning my bottom. I was looking directly into her face and forgot what she was doing. The whole time that she talked to me, she held my legs with her left hand and cleaned my bottom with the right hand. If we weren't talking I would have been really self- conscious about my diaper being changed, but I didn't even realize what she was doing. Pretty soon she dropped my legs and pulled up the new diaper. "All done!" I didn't want to admit it, but I wished it took longer. We went back to my parents, and then it was time to check in the hotel Heather asked, "Mommy, is there a pool at this hotel?" "I think so, honey." "Goody, we can go swimming!" Heather and I didn't get to swim much, but we both knew how to swim. Heather thought a little bit, and then asked, "Mommy, what's Mark gonna do?" "What do you mean, sweetie?" "He can't swim, because he's got diapers." "I didn't think of that. We should have picked up some swim diapers for him, which he should use anyway. I guess he won't be able to swim." "What!" I complained. "Why not?" Not swimming was a cruel punishment, especially since Rachel, Ryan, and Heather were going to spend most of their time in the pool. "Honey, we don't have anything for you to wear." "I've got a swim suit!" I knew that, because I packed it myself. It wasn't just the pool, but there was also a lake that was next to Ryan's house. I couldn't comprehend not being able to swim, but mom refused to relent. "We don't have any swim diapers, and I'm not going to let you in the pool without them." "I'm not a baby. I don't need diapers!" I protested vehemently, even more than when they first put them on me. "Well, you haven't proven to me yet!" Mom's words were harsh, but to the point. Just as we got ourselves settled in the room Uncle Ron came over. "Hey Jim (which is my dad's name) come on over to our room. We've got pizza, beer, and sodas." "Well, we've already had lunch, but a beer sounds pretty nice." "Yeah, the Cubs are on. Claire and kids are getting ready to go in the pool. You and I can watch the game while the kids swim." Heather was already in her swim suit, and almost ran across the hall to Uncle Ron's room. I wasn't going to be swimming, so I didn't rush. This was one of those suite hotels that have small bedrooms in it. We walked into their room and I could see into the little bedroom where Ryan and Rachel were getting dressed. Rachel was already in her swimsuit, but Aunt Claire had her hand in a package of Lil' Swimmers Diapers. I only knew what they were because I saw an ad for them once. I never expected to see someone wear one; let alone one of Aunt Claire's kids. Aunt Claire handed Ryan the Lil' Swimmers Diaper. Ryan had a disgusted look on his face, and asked, "Do I have to, mom? Can't I wear a normal bathing suit?" "No, because we threw your bathing suit away, and you know why. You're going to have to wear these for the rest of the summer, and if you prove that you are ready I'll buy you a new bathing suit next year." I wasn't alone in my surprise. Mom looked at Aunt Catherine and asked, "What are those for?" Aunt Claire was clearly embarrassed. "Oh those. Ryan and a few friends decided it would be really funny if they leave their mark while swimming in a neighbor's pool. They pooped in the pool. We initially banned him from swimming for the rest of the year, but that was too hard on Ryan. Not swimming in our neighborhood is like taking a kids legs from him, so we gave him a choice. He could swim, but he had to wear the Lil' Swimmers Diapers. He's only been wearing them a week and he's still getting used to it." Mom thought for a moment, and asked, "Can we use one?" "What for? Does Heather need them?" "No, it's Mark." At that point Aunt Claire looked up and saw the top of my diaper. "I see." She whispered so I wouldn't hear, but I could still hear. "Why is he in diapers?" Mom whispered back, "he's been having accidents, and it was just too much. We're using diapers this trip, and seeing what happens when we get home." Aunt Claire gave mom one of the Lil' Swimmers Diapers, and then mom turned to me. "Here Mark, you can swim now." I was still angry that she wasn't letting me wear my swimming suit. "I wanna wear my swim suit." "Well, that's not going to happen. It's either going this, or nothing. Do you want to go swimming?" "Yes!" I had a very snotty voice. "Well, than you're going to have to wear this, or not go. And you can stop the attitude, or I'll just put you down for nap!" I got the point. "Now, what do you want to do? And I want it nice, or you're going back to the room and take a nap." "Can I go swimming, please?" "Yes you can." I lay on the bed, and mom undid my diaper. She helped me into the Lil' Swimmers Diaper, which was tight. It fit, but barely. They were in bright primary colors, which wasn't common for normal bathing suits. We could have worn our regular bathing suits over those things but our moms wouldn't let us. There were some other kids in the pool, but nobody really noticed we had strange swimming suits. Ryan and I started swimming together, and it seemed like was nicer. He and I horsed around, while my mom and Aunt Claire talked. I pretended not to hear what they were talking about, but I was really listening. Mom was talking about me and why I was wearing diapers. She told Aunt Claire about our trip to Disneyland, and how Heather started using the toilet in October. Aunt Claire told mom about the problem she was having with Ryan. Ryan had been wetting his bed, not every day, but about three times a month. It was really strange, since he stopped when he was three. He also had occasional accidents during the day, and it was getting worse. She said Ryan had already had four accidents in the last month, and wet his bed four times. We stayed in the pool till 4:30 and then mom made us get out. She said that we had swam enough, and it was time to rest. I didn't know what she meant by this, but soon found out. All four of us went back to Aunt Claire's room, and then mom took Heather and me to our room. We got in our room, and mom told us "We are going to be out late tonight, so I want you guys to take a nap." A nap! I hadn't taken any nap since I was four years old, and had no intention of starting now. "I don't need a nap!" I protested. "It's going to be a late night and I don't want you cranky. Lie down, and sleep for a few hours. I'll get you up at six." "I'm not a baby, and I don't take naps." "Yes you are, and I don't want anymore lip." There was only two beds, which meant Heather and I would have to share. Dad was sleeping on my parent's bed, so I couldn't use that one. Heather and I aren't agreeable as sleeping partners since we both toss around. We end up knocking into each other, and a lot of time we get in fights. We can sleep next to each other in sleeping bags, but never in the same bed. "I don't want to sleep with Mark. I don't like sleeping when he pee pees." "He's wearing a diaper, so I don't want to hear anymore about it." Heather and I immediately started fighting with each other. We both hated sleeping in the same bed, and tried to stay on opposite ends. Eventually we fell asleep, and ended up tossing into each other. When that happened, we woke up and started fighting again. The fighting wasn't the worst thing that happened. I ended up using my diaper quite a bit, and it leaked. I peed all over the bed and Heather woke up. At first she thought it was her, but saw my clothes. My pants were all wet, and hers weren't. She cried out to mom. "MOMMY!" "What happened?" Mom and dad came rushing in. "The beds all wet. Did I pee pee in the bed?" "Let's see." Dad examined the scene, and confirmed that my diaper leaked. "Looks like Mark's diaper leaked. Let's get you all cleaned up." Dad took Heather in the bathroom, and cleaned her all up. Mom took care of my diaper and stripped the bed. I listened to Heather as she complained that she didn't want to sleep with me anymore. She said that I was a baby, and she didn't think it was fair that she had to she share her bed with me. I didn't say anything, but mom and dad both agreed that sharing beds wasn't going to work. "We've got to get a change in linen anyway, I'll just ask for a rollaway as well." Dad said, nodding his head. He left the room, and mom helped get both of us ready for our night out. A few minutes later dad was back in the room. "They're going to change the linen this evening. It'll be ready when we get back." "What about the rollaway? Do they have a rollaway?" Dad started talking silently to mom, and I couldn't hear what he said. He was nodding his head, and mom nodded back at him. I only heard a few sounds, but couldn't figure out what he said. One of the words ended in "b", but I wasn't really sure. It was clear he didn't want us to hear his answer, which I figured wasn't good news. People were coming from all over the country for this wedding, and a lot of them were spending Friday night in Appleton. The groom's family had a dinner party in Green Bay for all the visitors, so they had somewhere to go on Friday night. It wasn't a formal party, so we didn't have to get dressed up. This was more like a Barb-b-que, and we could wear our really fun clothes. There were a lot of people at this party, and I only knew a few of them. The only people I knew were my relatives. Becky and John were both really busy, and I didn't get to talk to them much at all. Aunt Beth and Uncle Don helped host the party, which kept them busy. They only gave me the obligatory "Hi, nice to see you." There were a lot of kids around, including a few my age. At first we didn't play with each other, since we didn't know each other. Ryan and I ran around by ourselves, and the other guys ran by themselves. Fortunately, it didn't take us long to start playing together. They were three other boys who were close to my age. I only remember one guy's name, which was Steven. Steven was a cousin of Becky's husband, and he was from Texas. I hadn't ever meet anyone from Texas before, and I remember his name, because his voice was so funny. The other two were brothers, and nephews of Becky's husband. Steven was the oldest; he was almost eleven. One of the brothers was nine, and the other was seven. There were a few girls around, and we played with them as well. We even had some of the older kids start playing with us, including John for a while. Most of the time we played tag, but right at the end of the night we played capture the flag. It was boy's versus girls, and we had a really big yard to play in. It was getting dark, which made it even cooler. It was easy to sneak up on the flag, and then try to run away. I thought the teams wouldn't be fair, because we were boys. Most of the girls weren't as good as us, but there was one girl who was really fast. She got our flag two times, and we couldn't catch her. One time I got their flag, and started to run back to base. I got so close, but she caught me. I thought someone would notice my diaper, but no one seemed to notice. I wasn't sure whether they couldn't tell, or were just being polite. I didn't really care, because I was having so much fun. I even forgot about the diaper until the very end of the night. I walked by mom, and she said, "How's your diaper?" I put my hand on my crotch, and said, "I don't know, but I think it's wet." "Well, let's go change it." Mom and I went to our car and she changed my diaper while I lied on the back seat. It was the best place, but at least no one noticed. I got up from my diaper change, and at the other end of the yard I saw Ryan crying. At first I didn't know why, and ran to see what happened. I got close enough, and soon realized why he was crying. There was a big wet patch right in the front of his jeans. He peed his pants! Aunt Claire was already on scene, so I just stood at the distance and watched. "What happened?" She asked. Her voice seemed skeptical, and frustrated. "I wet my pants." "Why didn't you go to the toilet?" I always thought that was a stupid question, because I never chose to pee my pants; at least not right in front of everybody. If I knew that I was going to pee, I would have peed in the toilet. It obvious I didn't know that I was going to pee, so why are you asking me. "I don't know." Ryan was clearly not getting any sympathy from his mother, and I felt sorry for him. "Do you want to wear diapers like Mark?" "No!" Ryan had to fight back his tears, but had stopped sobbing. He realized that sympathy wasn't going to come, and it was a waste of energy to cry. He now tried to maintain whatever dignity he had left. "Well, I suggest you start trying a little harder, or I might have to put you back in a diaper." Mark Holtebeck(AKA Sparky)