Part 1

I was five years old and wet the bed every night. My mother started diapering me for bed about a year ago. I hated diapers more than anything in the world and was terrified somebody would find out about them and mom knew it. One evening after dinner mom said we were going to visit her sister for a few days. I asked her what about my bedwetting.

"Don't worry about it. Your cousin Jimmy is your age and he gets diapered at night, too, so they won't think anything about it"

"Mom, please don't tell them I wear them."

"Honey, I'm sorry, you know I would do anything in the world for you, but we won't be able to keep this a secret from them. You'll be sleeping with Jimmy, and he and Wendy share the same bedroom."

"No way! I'm not going to wear a diaper with a girl in the room!"

"Oh good grief, you, she's only a year older than you are and she sees Jimmy in them every night. I really don't think she'll care!"

"Let me sleep with you and dad."

"Your dad and I are going to have to share a double bed and there's barely going to be enough room for the two of us. Listen, honey I know how you feel, but I'm afraid we can't avoid it, so you're just going to have to accept it, and don't forget Jimmy is probably thinking the same thing you are right now."

"What if I don't wear them while were there?"

"Oh no! your not going to ruin their bed."

The next day we drove to their house which took all day and I was dreading every mile. I liked Jimmy right from the start but Wendy treated me and Jimmy as if were babies and I didn't like that. We fooled around 'til dinner. When we finished eating Jimmy and I went back outside for a little while 'til Wendy came out acting like she was a big shot and said our moms wanted us to come in now. They were in the living room so we went in there. My dad was out in the work shop with my uncle.

A few minutes after we sat down my aunt told Wendy "go get me a diaper for your brother." Wendy smiled and said OK and went down the hallway. I had been getting more nervous with each passing hour and had come up with a plan to act as if I was tired and wanted to go to bed early so mom could diaper me in private and I'd get under the covers before Jimmy and Wendy came to bed. Watching him getting diapered now and right here in front of everybody threw me into a panic. My mom asked her why she was putting it on him so early?

"Because it's easier to do it now then when he's half asleep, because he gets real cranky."

Mom said, "I know what you mean. Roni hates to be diapered anyway, and it's really a struggle when he's tired."

My mouth fell open and I looked at her in total disbelief. She glanced back at me and just smiled. My heart started pounding.

Wendy had got back in time to hear what mom had said and was quietly giggling to herself. She had a cloth diaper and baby pants and handed them to her mom.. She took them and told Wendy to go get into her nightgown . With out even being told Jimmy got up and went over to the couch and undressed down to his underpants as she positioned the diaper on the couch and stuck the pins in the back cushion.

My mom asked "you use cloth diapers?"

My aunt said "You bet. Before we switched to cloth he was constantly getting rashes even when I changed him during the night. My mother-in-law suggested I try cloth diapers to deal with the rash problem, and she was right, they cleared it right up, plus, he likes them much better then disposables, and if you use a heavy overnight diaper they don't leak."

Jimmy said, "I don't like Pampers."

My mom said "Roni doesn't like them, either."

I almost fainted , what was she doing?

"He doesn't like them cause they don't feel good, but he'd like this kind," Jimmy said. He was acting like he couldn't wait to get it on. Wendy had returned in her nightgown and said "ya, Jimmy really likes being a baby." Her mother gave her a look like she'd better shut it up.

My heart was about to thump out of my chest and I was searching for a hole to crawl into when my aunt looked over at me and said, " Roni, you want to try one of these tonight? I know you'd like them a lot better then Pampers."

I quickly looked down at the floor. I was so mad at mom and flush with embarrassment I could hardly talk and weakly said "NO" with a quivering voice.

Mom said, "YES YOU DO! So go on over there!" I didn't move a muscle or take my eyes off the floor .

My aunt said, "Roni ,I promise you'll like them, so come over here so I can put it on you and you can try it for tonight, and if you don't like it tomorrow night you can wear Pampers."

My mom said, "Wendy go get another diaper would you, please?" She giggled and took off.

"Mom, NO PLEASE!"

"Honey, you're always saying the you don't like the Pampers because they're hot and sticky and your aunt says these feel real good, so go over there and let her put it on you "

I didn't make a move, and after a few seconds mom said in a slow, stern voice: " go over there like I asked you."

I reluctantly got up from the chair and slowly started over to the couch. I told my aunt I didn't want to be first. She said, "okay, we'll put this one on Jimmy first and you can help me."

She pulled the pins from the cushion and handed them to me along with the baby pants Wendy came back and put everything on the arm of the couch and, grinning from ear to ear, said, "here's Roni's diaper." I wanted to strangle her.

"That will be enough out of you," her mom said.

Jimmy got up on the couch and his mom pulled his underwear off then powdered and diapered him, taking the pins from me as she needed them. Jimmy was smiling as she took the baby pants and put them on him. When she finished she said, "Okay, buster, you're all set. Now it's Roni's turn."

Jimmy got off the couch and I knew by the look he had on his face he had enjoyed every minute of it. My aunt said "come on", patting the cushions where Jimmy had been laying. I gave mom one last pleading look and she said, "get up there".

She took off my shirt then lifted me onto the couch and removed my shoes and socks then unfastened the button on my pants and pulled the zipper down.

"Lift up," she said, and when I did and she pulled my pants and underwear off together. She reached over me and picked up the diaper off the arm of the couch. My aunt got hold of my ankles and lifted my bottom up and slid the diaper under me. Jimmy handed her the baby powder.

"Do you like the smell of baby powder?" she asked.

Before I could answer mom said, "I don't use it with disposables because the tapes don't stick if you get it on them."

"Well, we don't have any tapes to worry about here, so we'll give him a good sprinkling and he'll smell real good."

She dusted it all over me and it did smell good. She took the pins from Jimmy and unfastened them and stuck them in her mouth. When she brought the front of the diaper up and put it in place it was so thick it forced my legs apart and that was a strange feeling because mom used thin-style Pampers on me and they weren't much thicker than underwear. The warmth and softness of the fabric was such a nice surprise I momentarily let out a smile. My aunt saw my reaction and said through the side of her mouth because she had the pins in it, " see, I told you you'd like it."

As she began pulling the sides together and putting the pins in I felt the diaper gently snuggle around me. It was such a pleasant feeling and I was so overwhelmed by it I just lay there and enjoyed it, momentarily forgetting my embarrassment. When she finished with the pins she asked, "well, how's that feel?"

I was jolted back to reality and just shrugged my shoulders. She said, to my Mom, "I think we've got a cloth diaper convert here." Wendy let out a giggle.

"Lets get your baby pants on and you'll be all done."

She took them from Jimmy and shook them out and started putting them over my ankles. I was wishing she'd leave them off so as not to ruin the great feeling I was getting from the diaper. When she pulled them all the way up and finished adjusting the leg bands with her finger she stood me up and gave my a few pats on the rear and said, "all done."

Mom said "see, that wasn't so bad after al,l was it?"

I just shrugged my shoulders again because I couldn't decide whether to cry from the indignity and embarrassment I had just suffered or laugh because the diaper felt so good. I wouldn't have thought it possible, but the baby pants actually made the diaper feel even better.

My aunt said, "you guys go into the den and color or read your books 'til bedtime."

Wendy went up to her room. When Jimmy started walking into the den I stayed back a little ways to see what he looked like in his diaper. The thickness of it and the fullness of the white baby pants made his rear look absolutely huge. We both were waddling as we walked and I could hear the baby pants making a very soft rustling sound.

Jimmy didn't seem upset at all and I just wanted to run and hide. He got a coloring book and some crayons and lay on the couch. I took the biggest book I could find and sat in a big padded chair in the corner. I didn't care what it was about, only that it was big. I opened it up and placed it across my lap to try and hide the diaper. A few minutes later the front door bell rang and my aunt got up to answer it. A neighbor friend stopped by for a few minutes with two girls about Wendy's age. I started to get up and go hide but Jimmy just kept coloring. Suddenly they were in the house and it was too late. I sat there trying my best to sink into the cushions. The two girls walked by the door way to the den and said, "hi Jimmy" He smiled and gave them a wave. They gave me a quick glance and said hi. It was impossible not to notice my diaper but they didn't act as if they had even seen it. They went into the front room with their mother and after a couple of minutes there mother said, "I'll see you later and let you get back to your company," and they left.

When my dad came back in with my uncle he looked in and saw us he gave me kind of a funny look, then grinned and said, "where's a camera when you need one?"

My dad told mom he and my uncle were going to a guy's house to look at his hot rod and would be back in a while. My aunt said, "don't either one of you get any ideas over there," as they were going out the door. My aunt told mom, "he's been giving hints about building one ever since Steve started his but I've managed to ignore him so far."

I guess mom forgot we were in the next room our didn't think we could hear them. She said to my aunt, "you know, I'm absolutely amazed that Roni didn't put up more of a fight then he did."

"Why?"

Mom said, "because diapers are something that is never talked about at home, but when you told Wendy to get one for Jimmy and all three of you acted like it was no big deal I figured I'd play it by ear and see what Roni would do."

"Is he a little self-conscious about wearing them?"

"A little? He was potty trained before he was two and around his fourth birthday he started wetting his bed again. I took him to the doctor and they ran some tests and said there was nothing physically wrong with him and not to be too concerned as it wasn't unusual for a boy his age to start wetting again. After a while the ruined mattresses, wet bedding and odor was just becoming too much to deal with so I decided to put him back in diapers at night.

"When I told him he was devastated. I tried to make him understand it wasn't a punishment and that nobody would see him in them or know about it. I tried everything I knew to make it easier on him but he didn't want any part of it. When I diapered him the first night he cried for hours. It was breaking my heart and several times I started to go upstairs and take it off him but his father said, "you made the decision, so stick with it, he'll quite down in a little bit."

My aunt said, "Jimmy has never had a night without a diaper so we didn't have to go through that. We don't try to hide it and most if not all the neighborhood kids have seen him wearing them. Once in a while he might get a little teasing from one of them but he just shrugs it off and when they can't get any reaction out of him it stops."

Mom said, "let me tell you how bad it's been for Roni. I never use the word 'diaper' around him. I call them night or bed pants. When you said 'baby pants' I figured he'd flip out right there. When we're at the store and I need to buy more diapers he goes all the way to the end of the aisle and won't get near the basket for fear somebody will know they're for him. At the checkout stand he goes over by the door and waits. At the house he keeps them hidden under a sleeping bag way in the back of his closet. The wet ones he puts it inside a milk carton a bag or anything else he can find and stuffs it way down in the garbage out of sight. I keep a plastic cover on his mattress because of leaks and it makes noise so he won't allow any of his friends or cousins in his room because he thinks they'll hear it and find out he wets the bed. I have no idea why it bothers him so much but it sure does. I wouldn't have bet you a nickel for your chances of getting that diaper on him tonight."

My aunt said, "it probably bothers him because of the way it's been dealt with, your treating it as if it were a terrible secret. He knows they're not 'night' or 'bed pants', but you make up words for them trying to minimize his embarrassment and shame, and believe me, he's picked up on that. We don't use substitute words or treat it as if it's something that should be kept hidden. He knows it's diapers, and baby pants, and that most kids his age don't wear them. But he also understands that he DOES need to wear them and accepts it and in fact, he'd wear them around the clock if I'd let him."

I wanted to get out of there before my dad got back and I had to walk around in front of him. He had seen me getting into bed wearing Pampers before but never out side of my room. The diaper and baby pants I had on now instead of making me feel like an embarrassed five year old it made me feel like a little baby and I knew after seeing Jimmy in his that I looked like one, too. I told mom I was sleepy, and so they put me and Jimmy to bed and left the room.

Jimmy asked how come I wanted to go to bed and I told him why.

"That's kinda how they make me feel sometimes, too, and that's why I like them," he said.

The next morning both of us were wet and my aunt took the diapers off us and got us dressed for breakfast. When me and Jimmy were playing out back I asked him why he didn't care if the other kids saw him wearing them. He said, "because they make me feel good and I get to wear them and they don't and that makes me happy. A few kids tease me sometimes, but not too much and I think they only do it because they wish they could wear them."

I knew he really believed that because he was always happy and I hated to admit it to myself but the longer I had it on last night the better it felt.

After lunch my mom and aunt took us upstairs for a nap. I told my aunt I didn't take naps at home. She said "That's okay, I want you to take one anyway."

Mom said, "you sleep here on Wendy's bed. Take your pants and underwear off."

I was stunned, Jimmy was already taking his off. I was hesitating and she said, "do what I asked you, please."

I did as I was told as she went over to the dresser. Mom started putting the diaper on me and said, "this is something new for you, huh?"

I was turning about seven shades of red by then and when she finished she gave me a kiss and I turned on my side as she gave me a couple of pats on the back of my diaper and said, "sleep tight."

Jimmy went right to sleep and I lay there thinking about what he had said that morning. The diaper felt every bit as good as the first one maybe even better. I thought about last night and how mean my mom was for what she had done to me, and now I was wondering if she really was being mean. Here I was in the middle of the day with a diaper on that was so big and dominating it couldn't be ignored for a second and all I could think of was how good it felt and not who was going to come through that door and see me with it on. Jimmy was right, I was starting to feel good, too. Not being used to taking naps, I didn't know if I would wet or not and I was really getting sleepy and relaxed. I purposely soaked the diaper before I went to sleep

PART 2

We stayed three days and when we were leaving I told Jimmy thanks and he knew why I said it. My aunt picked me up and said, "you seem like a whole different kid than when you first got here. It's nice to see you smiling all the time now."

Mom was standing beside us and said, "I've noticed it, too."

When we got back home my mom said, "let's go have a talk," and we went up to my room.

"Are you mad at me for what happened at Jimmy's?"

"I was at first, but I'm not now because I know I don't have to hide it anymore and I'm not doing anything wrong."

"I heard you and my aunt talking the other night and now I know you're not ashamed of me, you were just trying to keep it secret to make me feel better."

"Honey I'm sorry if you thought I was ashamed of you, that was never the case."

"Mom, could I please wear cloth diapers from now on? I like them a lot better."

She said, "okay, but I don't want to buy them if you're going to change your mind in a few days and not want to wear them."

I promised her I wouldn't. A little while later we went to the store. When we started down the aisle with the diapers I went with her and she kept looking at me and I know she was wondering why I wasn't staying away. She picked out some baby pants in different colors with animals and cartoon characters on them.

"How's these?"

I told her I wanted the ones like Jimmy's so she put those back and got the white ones. After we got the diapers and pins she said, "I think we're going to need some new pj's with a little more room," and she picked out two sets. When we got to the checkout stand and the lady at the register got to the baby pants she stopped and said to my mom, "you have two different sizes here, one large and two toddler three. Which size did you want?"

Mom said, "oh the toddler three's, someone must have put the large on the wrong hook."

The lady gave the large ones to the bag boy to go exchange for the right size. She looked at me with a smile and said, "looks like somebody's going to get treated to cloth diapers." I gave her a weak smile. When I looked at mom she had that approving look she gets when I do something that pleases her.

After we got home mom took the diapers and pj's out of the packages and put them in the washer. She handed me the bag with the rest of the stuff and told me to take it to my room. I goofed off in my room for about an hour when mom came up with the diapers and pj's. She asked me what I had done with the bag and I told her it was in my bottom drawer. She opened it up and took out my clothes and put them in the other drawers. I went outside for the rest of the afternoon.

Dinner was finally ready and I was starved. After we ate dad said he was going to the store and get us some ice-cream for later and I went with him. When we got back we sat in the front room and started watching TV when my dad said, "did you hear your mother?"

I hadn't heard a thing and said no.

"She's calling you to come upstairs; go see what she wants."

I went upstairs and she was in my room.

"What do you want, mom?"

"Go get you a bath before it gets too late."

"Mom, dad's got ice cream!"

"You can have some when your finished with your bath."

I went in and filled the tub and got in. after a few minutes mom came in and said, "about done?"

I said I was and she took me out of the tub and dried me off then wrapped me in a new towel.

"Lets go try on your new pj's," she said and we went to my room. Not for a minute did I suspect she was going to put a diaper on me this early because she always waited 'til I was getting in bed to do it. When I got to my room she had the diaper on the bed and ready to go.

"You going to put the diaper on me now?" I asked.

"You had them on this early at Jimmy's."

"You said I could have ice cream after my bath."

"The diaper won't stop you from having ice cream, will it?"

"No, but what will dad say?"

"He'll probably say, 'what kind of ice cream do you want?'"

I kind of took that to mean that she didn't think dad would disapprove of me wearing the diaper out of bed. When I got on the bed it was quiet; she had taken the plastic off. She diapered me and then put the new pj's on over it. Taking the baby powder she got up and opened up the bottom drawer of the dresser and put it in. The drawer was full of diapers and baby pants and she saw me looking at them and said, "Hey! I just put them where you did. Go put your dirty clothes in the hamper before you come down," then she left.

I lay there for a few minutes moving around slowly because it heightened the feel of the diaper and trying to decide if I was going to go down stairs or not. I went into the bathroom to put my clothes in the hamper and get up the nerve to do it.

The bathroom door had a full length mirror on it. The pj's were pale blue and a light summer weight. The white baby pants were clearly showing through them and the diaper bulge was unmistakable. My aunt was right, I was a cloth diaper convert.

When I went down stairs my dad saw me and said, "ready for some ice cream?"

"Sure," I said.

He picked me up and said, "well, I see you talked your mother into some new diapers, huh?"

"No! she did," I answered.

"And I'll bet you argued real hard, too"

We had the ice cream and watched some TV, then dad picked me up and said, "lets get you in bed," and took me upstairs to my room. I slept like a baby that night.

The next day a neighbor lady came over to visit mom and her boy named Lyle was with her. We were kind of friends, but not too much. He was about seven. Mom said when she took the diaper off me that morning that she had forgotten to buy a diaper pail and would get one today and in the meantime had put the wet diaper still inside the baby pants on top of the washer. We were going out back to play on my swing set when Lyle spotted it. He just stopped for a second or two, then kept going. I didn't say anything and he never asked, but somehow I knew it would be all over the neighborhood.

The next day Cory, who was my best friend, and his sister Stacey, came over to play. They lived next door and my mom and dad were really good friends with their parents. When we went out the back door both of them hesitated in the laundry and were looking around, and I knew Lyle had told them. At first I was going to get them outside as quickly as possible and divert their attention to something else, or lie and say we had visitors last night and it was from their kid, but then I thought, I'm tired of all this so I said it's not there. Stacey looked a little embarrassed and said, "What?"

"I know Lyle told you."

"Did your mom make you wear it for a punishment?"

"No, it's so I won't wet my bed."

"Wow, you wear them every night?" she asked.

"Does your dad know?" Cory asked.

"Of course he knows," I said.

"Does he see you with it on?"

"Mom puts it on me after dinner."

"You mean you have to wear it when your not in bed?" she asked.

"I don't have to, I could wait 'til I go to sleep, but that's when mom likes to get me ready for bed so she puts it on me then."

Cory asked, "do you stay in your room?"

"No!"

Stacey said, "You have to wear them around the house?"

"Yes, but I don't have to and it doesn't bother me." Stacey said, "I'd never come out of my room."

Cory said, "it sounds kinda neat, but I don't know if I could really do it"

Stacey said, "we promise we won't tell anyone."

"Don't worry I bet Lyle already has."

"Ya, he couldn't wait to tell us," she said.

We went outside and they had a few more questions and then they dropped it. It actually felt good to get it out in the open. Mom had said she was going to have me start taking naps and she diapered me for them too.

A couple of days later I was at Cory's house and he brought up the diapers again. He wanted to know what they felt like and I told him they were ok. I didn't tell him they felt like heaven. I was beginning to think Jimmy was right about other kids wishing they could wear them to because Cory sure was interested in them

PART 3

It was about two weeks later and Cory and Stacey were at our house with their parents. Cory's father asked my dad if he would have a enough room in our garage to put his refrigerator for a couple of days. My dad said, "sure you can, but why?"

"I found termites in our house he said and were going to have it tented this Friday. We have to remove all the food, plants, clothes, and bedding. I figured it would be just as easy to bring the refrigerator over than to try and find a place for all the perishables.

Mom said, "of course you can bring it over, but how long do you have to be out and where are you going to stay?"

"The tent comes off first thing Monday morning, and we can go back in that afternoon when they have finished ventilating it."

"Why don't you guys stay here? We have an extra bedroom and the kids can use the couch with sleeping bags."

Cory jumped in.

"Dad, if we're going to use sleeping bags, can we put up the tent in their back yard and camp out?"

"Sure, it's warm enough and you guys would have fun."

Friday morning after breakfast mom said, "what do you say we tell them, you don't like to camp out and are going to stay in you room?"

"Mom, I want to camp out, too, it sounds like fun."

"That's fine, but are you ready to explain the diapers to them?"

"Mom, they already know, the whole neighborhood knows."

"And how's that?"

I told her about Lyle seeing it and she said, "honey I'm sorry It was an accident"

I told her it was ok. I know she didn't do it on purpose and it was probably better anyway.

Cory and his family came over early afternoon and we sent out for pizza and had a ball. Our dads put up the tent in the back yard and even made a fake fire pit with a drop light in it with a red bulb under the wood to look like fire. It was really cool. They joked around asking if we had anything to fight off the bears and stuff like that and it was really fun.

Mom said, "ya, about the first strange noise and the three of them will be in the house in about a second an a half."

It was getting dark and our parents were playing cards. Cory's mom said, "why don't you two go get your pajamas on and get ready to go camping?"

Mom bent over and whispered to me, "you want to wait a little later?"

"No, I don't want to wait."

"You can if you want to, it's ok."

"No, but thanks, mom." She said she would be back in a few minutes and we went upstairs.

Cory and Stacey were in the spare bedroom getting changed. Mom closed my bedroom door and I undressed and got on the bed.

"How about we use a Pampers tonight?"

"No, I don't like them."

"Well, they wouldn't show as much and I figured you would like that better."

"No, I don't want Pampers"

"Ok, I'm just trying to help"

"I know, mom, thanks."

After she diapered me and put my pj's on me she went to the closet and got a robe out and said, "put this on."

"Where did this come from?" I asked.

"I got it yesterday when we went to the store and you looked right at it when I picked it out."

I hadn't even paid any attention to what she was getting at the store.

Cory and Stacey were outside in the hall and hollered, "you ready?" through the door.

Mom said, "go on out there and Roni will be out in a minute."

The last thing she said as I went to go out is "I'M PROUD OF YOU."

I walked down the stairs and right out through the kitchen to the back door. I knew Cory's parents were aware of what was going on but I didn't hang around. The camp fire was turned on and we had a thermos of hot chocolate and cookies. Our moms said, "we're going to check you guys in about an hour and we want you in bed by then."

We pretended to be out in the woods and laughed and kidded around drinking the hot chocolate. Cory and Stacey were wearing pj's and no robe, they kept looking trying not to be obvious to see if I had it on. Finally it was too much for Cory and he asked me if I was wearing it and I said yes. Stacey asked if it made me feel like a baby and I said, "a little bit sometimes."

"Sometimes my mom or dad will start playing around and act like I'm a baby and I kinda like it, too," she said.

A little while later there mom stuck her head out the back door and said all of you into bed. We went into the tent and started getting into our sleeping bags. It was too hot to wear the robe to bed so I took it off. Cory said, "wow, you wear that kind! I thought you wore the throwaway kind."

"I like this kind," I said and crawled in my sleeping bag.

to be continued