Drew Barrymore and the Shawshank Redemption By: Zac G. Introduction By looking at the title of this story, the average person will have one question they'd like answered before they read any further. That question, of course, would be: what the hell is this story? This story is many things. It is part satire, part drama, and part fantasy. It's only real purpose is to entertain, not maintain credibility down to the last detail or convey any sort of message. I'm sure everyone will recall a movie not too long ago by the name of The Shawshank Redemption, and many of you have probably seen it. It won no Oscars, but it was a success nonetheless, as was the Stephen King novel upon which it was based. That book/movie was an emotionally charged prison drama about the trials of one man's life. This story is something else entirely. It falls under the category of fan fiction (where a person takes a popular book or movie and does his or her rendition of it, not necessarily copyright infringement but a show of appreciation for a particular work), but isn't really meant to be taken seriously. It is about life at the infamous Shawshank Academy, a school that handles children that are disciplinary problems (the school's motto seems to be that the proper punishment is the solution to everything). More specifically, it is about longtime Shawshank attendee Red and his friendship with peculiar newcomer Andy. The story is fairly twisted, and has elements of abuse, profanity, vulgarity, violence, and sexual innuendo. If this offends you, don't read. And above all, don't take it seriously. Like I said, it is meant to entertain. Enjoy. Chapter 1 Andy rode to the top of the hill and stopped. He looked keenly at the house, and smiled so wickedly it resembled a snarl. They were there all right. Andy could here them. They were inside, probably just watching a movie or something, and they were laughing. Then again, it could be something else entirely they were laughing about. They could be laughing at him. Andy wasn't about to stand for that. He would make both of them pay. Linda had been Andy's friend all his life. They played together, went to school together, and remained friends as they grew. Recently, however, they had been more then that. They were getting older now (they were over a decade), and each of them was undergoing changes. These changes were attributed to things called hormones, and hormones made one do all kinds of stupid things, like fall in love. That was exactly what happened between Andy and Linda. They had been going steady for months now, and while they rarely did anything outside of talk, hold hands, and occasionally kiss, Andy thought it was the greatest thing in his life. Then summer came along, and with it the desire to be outdoors. Linda had shown some interest in playing softball for the girl's Little League team, and she wanted Andy to teach her how to play. Andy couldn't swing to save his life (athletics were one of his few shortcomings), so he asked his friend Glenn for help. Glenn happened to be quite good at sports, if nothing else, and showed Linda everything she wanted to know. As time went by, Glenn and Linda became good friends, and Andy noticed that she spent more time with Glenn then she did with him. Andy was starting to wonder if they were becoming more then friends. One day, after Linda said she was going shopping, he followed her on his bike and found her at Glenn's house. He talked to her later about it and they had a big argument and broke up. That was two weeks ago. It was now late August, and he had been feeling terrible. Terrible enough to do something drastic. Earlier that day, he had snuck into his dad's study (his dad was on a business trip) and taken two items. One was a bottle of whiskey. Andy knew that drinking was a bad thing, but he also knew that people always looked like they were having fun when they were drunk, and he really needed to have some fun. Andy took a sip and promptly spit it out. It tasted terrible and burned his throat. He forced himself to drink a little more and gulped it down. He began to feel weird, almost dizzy. It was doing something all right. The other item Andy took was his dad's Louisville slugger baseball bat. His dad had it for a long time and Andy figured it might be worth something. Of course, to him it had always been just another piece of wood. He would never be able to use the bat to hit a baseball. A baseball, after all, was too small of a target. But somebody's head, on the other hand, was much bigger. And now Andy will show both of them that maybe he wasn't that bad at baseball after all. Andy took one final swig of the revolting drink, and held it in his mouth for a moment before spitting it out. He hated it and knew drinking anymore wouldn't be good for him. Andy needed to be in good health for the task he was about to perform. Clutching the bat tightly, he walked up to the house. Chapter 2 "Your Andrew Dufresne," said the man with gray hair and a well worn suit. The sign above his door identified him as a doctor, but he was unlike any other doctor Andy had seen before. "Sit down, Andy. I'm here to help you." Somehow, Andy doubted that, but he sat nonetheless. "Before I can do anything, I need to get the facts straight," said the psychiatrist. "What you did was wrong. I'm sure you know that by now. But not only was it wrong, I also think it was something you might have planned ahead of time. Consider this, Andy: you hit each of them 4 times. Not once, not twice, not 10 times, but exactly 4 times. What is it about the number 4?" "It's my favorite number, I guess," Andy said, not amused. He felt very insulted. "You took a bottle of whiskey and a baseball bat from your dad's study, and at 8:00 PM, you went for a little bike ride. Correct thus far?" "Yes." "You rode up to Glenn Quentin's house, where you knew that Linda and Glenn would be. You also knew that Glenn's mother was across the street baby-sitting." "So?" "So you walked up to the house and used the bat to break the sliding glass door. When Glenn and Linda went to investigate the noise, you assaulted them 8 times. You did it so quickly and so viscously that neither of them saw it coming, and were subsequently able to identify you." "No," Andy said calmly but with a hint of argument in his voice. "No. I wasn't feeling good all day. I was starting to feel better right about then." "Right," said the doctor with a smirk. "And you persist that you didn't do anything. You told your parents you threw the bottle on the ground and the bat in the river then rode home. They found the bottle, right near Glenn's house, but they weren't able to find the bat." "That's the way it happened," Any answered, flashing his own smirk. "Awfully convenient, don't you think?" "Actually, it's pretty inconvenient," said Andy. "See, I didn't do anything. If they found the bat, that would have cleared my name." "Were you angry at Linda?" "Yes. After I found out, I was." "What happened after you found out?" "We had an argument. She said she was glad I knew, because she'd much rather hang out with a cool guy like Glenn then a geek like me. She also asked not to see me again." "According to a neighbor, you said you'd see her in hell before you saw her in Glenn's arms again." "That sounds about right." The doctor looked over his notes, then looked back at Andy. "Son, I don't believe you realize how much trouble you're in," he said sternly. "You have been accused of beating up 2 kids. Thankfully, they're still alive, though badly hurt. Lt. Michner of the police wants to send you to jail. I was asked to step in and take a look at you, to find, supposedly that you are an impressionable young man who would not commit such a heinous act. Frankly, I haven't gotten that impression. You strike me as a very bitter and cold hearted child, Andy, and it is my recommendation that you seek a bit of an attitude adjustment at Shawshank Academy. It will be for the better." Andy again displayed that semi-snarl. He was busted for a crime, that according to him, he didn't commit. Unfortunately, nobody, not even his own parents, believed him. Now he was going to Shawshank. Andy didn't know how lucky he was. If he were a year or two older and the state laws allowed it, he wouldn't have been headed to prison on a verdict of assault, and he wouldn't have lasted until winter. Chapter 3 At about the same time Andy was having a sit-down with a shrink, I was getting my own head checked halfway across the state. I was in the presence of Shawshank's school therapist, and it was time for the yearly evaluation (or as I called it the yearly rejection). "Ellis Redding," said the therapist. "Would I be correct in saying you've been here for 7 years?" "Yes sir," I answered. "Do you feel that you have learned anything?" "Yes sir," I repeated. "Absolutely. I know what I did was wrong and I'll never do it again. I'm no danger to anyone, especially not myself." I wasn't surprised when it was marked on my sheet that I was still a behavioral problem. I'd been in for evaluation 6 times before, and each time I had been turned down. It's no surprise really. The more kids the therapist turns down, the more that will still be in attendance at Shawshank. Thus, the more money the school gets and the more this guy will get paid. It's a perfect system for everyone except for the kids and their parents, but I've long since outgrown heartbreak. I walked back out to the playground where a couple of friends were waiting for me. They already knew I was turned down, and they took a little sympathy for an 'old timer' like me. "Tough break, Red," said Floyd. "I got rejected last week," said Billy Haywood. "Those bastards." "Got you a little rejection present," said Floyd. He passed me a Hershey's bar, and although it was melting, I took it gratefully. "Thanks," I said. "No problem considering all the times you hooked us up," said Billy. There must be a kid like me at every school in America. I'm the kid who can get it for you. Candy bars, video games, Playboy magazines, baseball cards if you like to collect them. Anything for a price. Yeah, I'm a regular JC Penney. That's why when Andy Dufresne came to me in early 1995 and asked me to smuggle in Drew Barrymore, I told him no problem. "Taking bets today?" asked Floyd. "Sure," I said. "Cash or candy?" "Candy," everyone answered simultaneously. Today was Orientation Day, and the arrival of the new recruits. We always took bets on who would break down first. Yeah, it's sick, but in a place like this you have to do something for fun. And somebody always broke down. That was also the day Andy Dufresne came. He was about 11 at the time (the time being the summer of 1994). I'll have to admit, when I first met him, I thought a strong breeze could knock this kid over. He was tall for his age, but he was scrawny as hell. He also had the look of a sucker, and in this place, a look like that could get you killed. On the outside, Andy had been a straight A student and winner of many science fairs. Though none of that made him popular, it wasn't bad for a kid his age. I didn't see any of that of course. All I saw was 2 free candy bars. As the rickety old bus pulled up to the front of the campus, the crowd on the playground grew larger. Staff gathered around as well, ready to receive their newest charges. The bus came to a stop, and the door opened. Byron Hadley, the toughest screw in the entire place took his position by the door. Out walked a short, pudgy teenager. "You understand English?" asked Hadley. The kid nodded. "Then start marching!" He did and gradually others filed out of the bus as well. They looked more like lost animals then kids. "Aright," said Billy. "Put me down for that fat-ass, the third from the front." "You're crazy," said Floyd. "Pick something better then," Billy retorted. "I'll take that tall lanky bastard," I said, pointing at Andy. "Now who's crazy," Billy said mocking. "Who's going to prove me wrong?" I retorted. "You? Floyd? Blue? Jesse? You chumps are down some candy." How wrong I was. Chapter 4 We were ordered back to our dorms while the new recruits were brought into the auditorium for orientation. I had to feel a little sympathy at that point. Orientation scares some kids shitless for the rest of their lives. Once they were all inside, Hadley yelled at them to shut the hell up. He enforced his point by brining out his oak paddle and flashing it in the air. Everyone quieted down real quick. Though he was only maybe 19, nobody messed with Byron Hadley, no matter how old they were. He was the meanest son of a bitch I've ever met. He'd hit first and ask questions later. He had no cheerful side to him. And as Shawshank's head of security, he fit his job perfectly. Sam Norton was no better. Norton was the principal at Shawshank, and he ran everything. The guy wasn't as mean or cold hearted as Hadley, but he was just as dangerous. Norton was guilty of the grandest hypocrisy. He was a religious and well respected man, worthy of praise by parents for his desire to embitter the children of America. Inside of course, all he cared about was that he was the #1 man and nobody could touch him. The new recruits were about to meet the real Samuel Norton. "Greetings, new students," he said. "My name is Samuel Norton, and you are now my responsibility. You have been identified as having behavioral problems, and during your stay here, those problems will be remedied. You won't leave here until they are. I have 2 simple rules. The first is no cursing or blasphemy. I will not have God's name forsaken. The second is that you fulfill requests as they are given. Any questions?" "Yeah," answered one unfortunate soul. Anybody dumb enough to ask a question like that after meeting Norton or Hadley deserved what he got, I suppose. "I'm starving. When the hell do we eat?" "Mr. Hadley here is the head of security," said Norton. "He will answer your question. Byron, if you please." Hadley scowled and advanced towards the inquisitor. He then brought the paddle down upon the kid's head, causing him to yelp in pain. "You eat when we say you eat, you little punk!" Following this ordeal, all fell silent. I remember the next part was always the toughest. They made you take off all your clothes and be examined by the grisly old nurse, an embarrassing experience for most anyone. You were then ordered to shower, and I swear to God they actually checked to make sure you were clean. After that, if your hair was excessively long or dyed some absurd color, they cut it for you. Lastly, you were given your uniforms, and there was where the real terror struck in. The school uniform was simple: a pair of black slacks, a white shirt, a school tie, and a diaper. Yeah, you heard me right, a diaper. Norton had his own little explanation for this. "Public school bathrooms have become a haven for narcotics users, bullies and those who would mistreat themselves. We had facilities here at Shawshank for a short while, but they fell to ruin quickly, as you young people are incapable of keeping them clean and sanitary. Thus, I believe diapers to be a sound and practical solution to the problem, as well as a tool for shaping your behavior." As eloquently as he put it, there were still a lot of moans and groans. Nobody wanted to wear a diaper. "All right," Hadley said after Norton had disappeared. "Here's the deal: your each going to shut your hole, take that diaper and put it on right now. Otherwise, we'll come over there and put it on you and kick your asses in the process." This got a couple of kids moving. Most were inexperienced and fumbled with the tapes,. "Excuse me, Mr. Hadley," said one kid. "But I don't know how to do this." Hadley frowned, then snorted a disgusting laugh. He grabbed the kid and threw him over his knee. Hadley paddled the kid's behind then threw him down on the floor. Clutching the kid's feet with one hand, he slid the diaper under him with the other and pinned it tightly shut. He then slid on some thick plastic pants and smacked the kid on the thigh. "Anybody else need help with their didees." After everyone was adequately padded, Hadley gave more orders. "These diapers stay on; you don't take them off for nothing. We got stuck with the lousy job of changing you but we'll do it as long as we're getting paid. So don't you try and think about changing yourselves. You got that?" There were whispers as everyone finished dressing and marched over to their bunks. Life at Shawshank had officially begun. Chapter 5 That night was when hell really broke loose for newcomers. We all had our diapers changed, and were ordered back to our dorms. Perhaps I should tell you exactly what a dorm is at Shawshank. A dorm is a dark, dank drab room that houses up to 8 kids at a time. Instead of beds, there are cribs. Once we are diapered, we are tossed in our cribs for the night and not let out until morning. That was the way it went. Also, each dorm contained a long table where we were to do our work. Not desks, but a table. Any book or material we wanted to use, we had to first sign out. No toys, no privileges unless we earned them. I say it again, that was simply the way it went. The newbies were always put in solo dorms the first night, specifically to avoid the encounter I'm about to describe. Unfortunately for them it did little good. Anyway, as soon as the screws (excuse me, 'faculty') called lights out and walked away, we went fishing. We'd all clamor and holler and try to get the attention of the new guys. Sometimes, we'd make threats, other times we'd pretend to make homosexual passes. Either way somebody always broke down. "Hey," they called. "Hey fattie! I bet you'd make a real big load in your didees. Bet you already did. I can smell ya from here!" "Hey fat-ass," called Heywood. Remember now that Heywood had a bet down on this guy. "Don't listen to them. This place ain't all bad. I'll introduce you around. In fact, I know a couple of fellas who'd just love to make your acquaintance." That was all that it took. The fat kid started blubbering and crying, and the place erupted into yelling and laughter. "We have a winner!" said Heywood. "It's fat- ass by his diapered tail!" Just then Hadley and his crew burst in and everyone quieted down. "What in Christ is this shit?!" he demanded to know. "I'm tellin' Mr. Norton on you," said one kid. "You took the Lord's name in vain." "Yeah, you'll be telling them about the paddle up your ass." "Please," said the fat kid, whimpering. "I don't belong here. Not like this, not diapered like a little baby. Please, I'll be good. I'll be good." "I'm not gonna count to 3," said Hadley, approaching his crib. "I'm not even going to count to 1. You will shut the fuck up or I will sing you a lullaby." "You don't understand! There's been a mistake....' "All right, open the crib," Hadley commanded. Once the crib was unlocked, Hadley dragged the poor kid out by his ear. He threw him face down onto the floor, and pulled off his diapers. Hadley became even more disgusted when he saw the kid had wet them. "Pants-pissin little brat," he muttered, as he paddled the kid's bottom. "Didn't your momma teach you better, you fat maggot." Judging from the sound of his screaming, Hadley spanked that kid until his bottom was blistered, maybe even bleeding. "All right," he said with authority when he was done. "Take him down to the nurse. And if I hear so much as a fart in here, the rest of you will be following him down there, I swear!" We all shut up and hit the sack. All except me. I wasn't too upset; I'd seen Hadley beat dozens of kids. What bothered me was that Andy Dufresne had cost me some major candy and he hadn't even said a word. Chapter 6 The next day we assembled in the cafeteria for lunch. Lunch usually consisted of some hard, grayish-green thoroughly inedible piece of meat accompanied by lumpy potatoes and some putrid vegetable. To drink, there was pasty gray skim milk. Yuck. And parents are paying for this? Oh, if only they knew. I noticed Andy was sitting at a table all by himself, but didn't say anything to him. I was far more concerned about Billy Heywood and the candy we all owed him. Nonetheless, I did notice Andy found a worm in his food. He held it up, ready to chuck it across the room when brooks Hatlen approached him. Brooks was about 75 years old, and a former graduate of this place back when it started. He has worn diapers all his life and is also our librarian and janitor. "Are you going to eat that?" he asked Andy. "Wasn't planning on it," Andy answered. Brooks took the worm and fed it to his pet bird, Jake. "Jake says thanks," Brooks told him. "He fell out of his nest and I'm taking care of him." Brooks was a peculiar, lonely old man, but we all sort of looked up to him. "Oh God, here he comes," said Floyd. I glanced over and say Billy sit down beside me. "Good day, y'all," he said. "And a really good day for me," he chuckled. "Come on, spread em out." We all laid out our candy. "Damn I'm good, picking the winner like that. Too bad your guy came in last, Red. You know, I think I owe that kid something when he gets back from the nurse." "Why not give him some of your candy?" I asked. "Shut your diapered ass up," he retorted. "Hey Tyrell. You still working in the nurse's office?" "Yeah." "How's the boy doing?" "He's gone, man. Hadley hurt him pretty bad and he kept whining for his parents. Well, they got down hear and pulled him out, Norton made up some bullshit excuse and now he's at military school." Just then, Andy opened his mouth. "Does anybody know his name?" "What does it matter, new kid," asked Billy hostile. "He's gone." After lunch, we were all given a chance to shower. It was supervised, of course, but it still let us feel a little more clean and a little more human. We were marched back to our dorms, where we had our stinking, sagging diapers removed. We were then marched bare naked, sometimes without being properly wiped into the showers and they blasted the hot water on. We were given only a certain amount of time to wash, and wash we did. Of course, we had to keep our guards up. A lot of kids around here are jerks or fags and are into towel-snapping and the like. One of these kids made a pass at Andy. "Hey," he said. "Did anybody get to you yet?" No answer. "Hey, don't be like that. You know, it's a big place. We all need friends in here." Nothing. "I could be your friend." Andy turned to walk away. "Hey, I bet you look real cute in just your diaper." Andy was gone. "Hard to get. I like that." Such was Boggs Diamond, our resident bully next to Byron Hadley and one of the lowest forms of life on the Earth. I personally thought he belonged in prison, but he somehow wound up here. Anyway, when we returned to our dorms, we were re- diapered and sent to class. It felt refreshing to feel that thick mass of dry cotton next to your skin after a shower. In fact, diapers weren't at all bad once you got used to them. It took a place like Shawshank to make them bad. As I sat through math class, I kept on getting more and more curious about Andy Dufresne.