By Danny
It took us a good half hour to get ready. Not wanting to risk needing to go number two while we were out, Mom had Dad take me to the hallway bathroom where he helped me get my pants and diaper down around my ankles before sitting me on the toilet. I spent most of the half-hour sitting right there waiting to go. I couldn’t strain to try and hurry things along due to my ribs, so I just had to wait for gravity to do its thing. Jamie kept going by and knocking on the closed door, “Hey BB? You done in there yet?”
I didn’t find out until we were both in the backseat of the car on the way to the hospital why he was calling me BB and seeing how I would have been busted had I done anything just then, I made yet another mental note to get him back for it. Since he knew he couldn’t just come right out and tease me openly by calling me Baby-Brother, he instead chose to call me BB for short, but not whenever Mom or Dad was around. I was starting to get used to it since I knew he didn’t really mean anything by it now. Well, not anything mean and malicious, but to just tease me a little.
The ride to the hospital took its toll on me. Mom, Dad, and Jamie all knew it. It was something about the ride that seemed to shake me up inside and made everything hurt. A little more than halfway there, Dad had said he was going to take us back home, but I protested so adamantly that he changed his mind and continued on to the hospital. By the time we finally reached the hospital, I felt like I was going to be sick. About the only thing that got me through the ride was that Jamie had taken off his seatbelt and slid over next to me. He had one arm around behind me and was letting me squeeze his other hand without complaint.
I spilled out of the car with both Dad and Mom’s help. I took two steps and threw-up my breakfast all over the parking lot, my shoes and lower pants legs, and even Jamie’s left shoe, which he complained about very loudly. Now that I think back to it, it was really kind of funny. I’m sure Jamie doesn’t think so, but I sure do! If the car ride to the hospital had not been bad enough on my ribs, vomiting sure was. I ended up having to lay in the back in the car a good ten minutes before I was able to go into the hospital. Mom and Dad both kept saying that they should take me home, but really, once the car stopped moving and I’d gotten sick, I started to feel better.
While I was lying there in the car with my socks dangling out the door, Mom attempted to clean the legs of my pants using one of my diapers that she’d brought along just in case I needed a change. One thing that went through my mind was the idea of what if I had gone with Tater and the guys last night? If I got this sore from just a short drive, what would have happened in Bull’s car?
When I felt like I was ready to go into the hospital I told them so. “Ok I feel better now, can we go in?”
Jamie had just reappeared. I didn’t know where he’d been, but found out that he had been using what was left of the snow on the ground to clean my shoes as well as his one shoe.
“You sure?” Mom asked.
“Yeah, I’m ok,” I said. “I guess all the bumps and stuff just got to be too much.”
The four of us walked up to the entrance of the hospital with Jamie serving as my guide and crutch again. He was still grumbling about me getting puke on his shoe, but he was doing it in a way that seemed funny.
When we arrived at the information desk, Dad went up and found out where Officer Mecums was. He was also able to find out that Runt was still in intensive care. We had to take a ride up in the elevator and I was glad it was short. Mom made some comment about me having motion sickness and I countered with, “But I never had that before.”
We reached Officer Mecums’ room. Dad told Jamie and I to sit and wait while he went to see if she was up to seeing us. Mom went with Dad while Jamie got me seated in one of the chairs along the wall. Just being back in the hospital and smelling all the familiar smells was reminding me of my previous stay.
“How you feeling?” Jamie asked.
“Yeah sure,” I answered without looking at him.
“Simon!” Jamie called my name just loud enough to get my attention.
I flinched and looked at him this time. “I asked how you are feeling and you said ‘Yeah sure.’” Jamie said with a smile.
“Sorry. I was thinking about Runt and . . .” I didn’t finish my thought.
“And what?” Jamie asked.
“Nothing,” I said, returning to staring at the floor tiles.
“It’s not your fault you know!” Jamie said, but I hardly heard him as I disappeared into my thoughts again.
We sat for only a few minutes before we saw Officer Tucker, Mary’s Dad, come out of Officer Mecums’ room, along with another man I’d never seen before. I guess since he was a black man, I just assumed he was Officer Mecums’ husband. I later learned he was her brother. The two of them were followed by Dad, who waved for Jamie and I to come over. Jamie assumed his post, and I took hold of him as the two of us marched down the hallway to her room. I watched over Jamie’s shoulder as Officer Tucker took the other man down to the far end of the hallway and disappeared around the corner.
“Hi baby!” Officer Mecums said so strongly that it caught me off guard as Jamie and I entered the room.
I didn’t recognize her at first. She didn’t have any makeup on, her hair was kind of ratty and unkempt, and she wasn’t in uniform. I also noticed that she didn’t look as big and ominous lying there in that bed as she had before. She looked kind of like a boxer that had been beaten for the first time. I guess I stared a few seconds too long, ‘cause Jamie, who I was still hanging onto, gave a wiggle and whispered; “Say hello, idiot!”
“Oh, sorry! Hello!” I finally said to her, “H-how are you feeling?”
“Oh baby! It was just a scratch!” She lifted the cuff of the sleeve on the paper gown they had her wearing to show us the bandage they’d wrapped her in. I remember thinking how white it looked next to her dark skin. “I’m going to be out of here and back on the beat before you can blink as eye!” She said, and though she didn’t look much like my Amazonian Guardian, she still sounded like her, and that made me feel more at ease; but not much more.
We visited with her for several minutes before I finally asked Mom and Dad; “Would it be okay . . .” I paused, and changed my mind to what I wanted to say, “I mean, can I talk with Officer Mecums alone for a minute?”
I’d still been hanging onto Jamie for support while we’d been talking, but now Dad slid the guest chair over next to the bed before the three of them left me alone with her.
Before I could say anything, she said, “Baby, don’t you be worrying about me! I’m going to be just fine!” But her reassurance was not what I was looking for just then. I had made up my mind while sitting and waiting to come in to see her that I was going to tell her everything I knew. If I didn’t do it now, I never would be able to.
“It’s my fault.” I began to confess.
“What is baby-child?” she asked.
“That you got shot.” I said back.
“Simon! Look at me!” she commanded. I lifted my chin to look into her eyes. “I already know it was you that made the call last night.” She was smiling as she said it, and my eyes nearly fell out of my head.
“Did you see that police officer that just walked out of here?” she asked me.
“Yeah that’s Mary’s . . . I mean that’s Officer Tucker.” I corrected myself mid-sentence.
Her voice softened, “When you called 911, your phone number was automatically traced and your home address was listed on their computer. Officer Tucker was just here telling me so . . .” She stopped talking when she saw that I began to break down.
I couldn’t help myself, and I started to weep softly. “I’m so very sorry. I should have told someone the second I knew.” I sniffled.
She lay quiet, and allowed me to completely unburden myself on her. I told her everything I knew; even about my suspicions that Tater had abused his younger brother, Mike. Even as I told her about the night Tater and I had spent together, I couldn’t believe I was doing it. It was like someone had opened all the doors and windows to my soul. Anything and everything was flying out my mouth. I told her about the Steroids the guys had been using and that’s why they had been robbing stores to pay for it; about my having snuck out of the house to see Jamie; about my having been there when they robbed that one store; about the stash of money in my bible; about Jasper having been the one that printed and posted the pictures of Peter in the school, and when I had finally completely unburdened myself, I just sat there in the chair exhausted and sobbing an ocean of tears that flowed and splashed onto my shirt and pants.
I didn’t know until later, when Dad told me, that I’d sat in there confessing to her for over twenty minutes. It wasn’t until I got control of my sobbing that I realized we were not alone. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up and a feeling came over me that I was being watched. When I turned my head to see who was there, I saw that Dad was standing just inside the door, and I could tell he’d been there the entire time; or at least long enough. His face was covered in tears and he was wiping at his nose with a handkerchief. When our eyes met, I started to cry harder than I had already been. He came over behind the chair, leaned forward, and wrapped his arms around me. We wept together for a good, long, time. Officer Mecums was weeping too and dabbing at her eyes with the corner of her sheet.
“I am so sorry Dad! I am so, so sorry!” I cried into his arms.
“I know you are, Simon,” he sobbed back.
After a few more minutes, Officer Tucker returned without the other man in tow. Officer Mecums told him everything I’d just told her. I couldn’t help noticing that she left little details out, but I didn’t question her at all about them.
When all was said and done we left. But not after, with Dad’s help, I went over and gave Officer Mecums a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
With her one uninjured arm, she swatted my backside hard enough to get my attention, “When I get out of here you are I are going to have another little talk!” She sounded like a mom lecturing a child again, and I was the child.
Even though I had on my diaper, her swat still stung. I looked at her and said meekly, “Yes ma’am!” and wiped my face on my sleeve. She gave me another swat; “And don’t use your shirt! Go get a tissue!”
I looked over at Dad, longing for him to rescue me, but it was obvious to me that he was trying to hide a small smile. I sniffled hard before turning to go. I wasn’t quite out the door when she called, “Simon!” I stopped dead and turned my head around on my shoulders like an owl to see her.
“You’re a good boy!” she said, and I saw a tear trickle down her left cheek.
Back in the hallway, Mom got alarmed when she saw that I’d been crying. I looked up at Dad again. He didn’t even have a hint on his face that he’d cried too. Dad told Mom that he’d explain everything later. Also, for the rest of the day, Jamie stayed right by my side as if a short, invisible rope bound us together.
I was tired and emotionally drained, but there was no way I could leave the hospital without seeing the boys I’d had as roommates earlier in the week.
“SIMON!” they all screamed and shouted as Jamie led me into their room, followed by Mom and Dad. They were all still there. Kyle was lot’s better, and was talking up a storm. He even let Jamie and I touch his stump where this leg used to be. Cole said he might be getting out of the hospital in a week, and he showed me that he could move his arm quite a bit now and was even able to snap his fingers. Bruce was not looking so hot. The chemotherapy was taking its toll on him, but I think that he really perked up when I arrived. Harry still had his feeding tube in his side, and was probably the liveliest of the bunch. He kept throwing his pillow into the air and catching it. Scotty had just had another surgery. He was wrapped up like a mummy, from his belly button, to the top of his head, but that didn’t stop him from getting up and moving around. He was moving slower than ever, but he was so full of life. Mark looked about the same as he did the last time I saw him. Maybe a tiny bit skinnier, but he looked healthy. The eight of us boys, Jamie included, took right back up, as if we’d not been apart for several days. There was no talk about Tater and the guys; they didn’t know about that. Mom and Dad had left us alone to talk and to spend some time together, staying just outside in the hallway.
Nurse Bridget came in to see me. She gave me a big hug, but was still careful not to hurt me. She even kissed my cheek and I blushed. The guys all teased me about that. Heck, the only ones that were missing were Jasper and nurse Gabby, but I’d seen her earlier in the day, back at home. They guys all asked me how Jasper was and I told them I’d not seen him, but had talked to him one on the phone, and that I thought he was doing really well.
I didn’t get to stay very long; only about fifteen minutes, but it was so good to see the guys. None of them wanted me to leave. I did promise to come back and see them again soon, and as we were leaving, Cole followed us out into the hallway, leaving the others still chatting away. My short visit had sure stirred them all up.
“Hey Simon?” Cole called after us. We stopped and he waked up to us. “Um, I don’t know if anyone told you or not. Well, I’m not even supposed to know, but I . . . uh it’s Mark.” Cole’s voice faded off there at the end.
“He’s not doing so good!” Cole was able to say, but his voice broke.
I had my arms draped over Jamie’s shoulders and hanging down in front of him for support and Jamie was holding onto each of my wrists. I was really tired, and just wanted to find somewhere to lie down. Then it hit me what Cole was saying. I felt a hand on my back and looked to see Mom standing beside me with tear filled eyes.
“Is he? I mean Mark didn’t look that bad? Heck Bruce looks worst with his chemotherapy the Mark!” I was pleading for Cole to tell me Mark wasn’t going to die. Cole couldn’t answer but just shook his head.
“Oh!” Mom said, putting a hand to her mouth as she started to cry.
“Well, I just thought you should know. Don’t wait too long to come back, OK?” Cole said, extending his once nearly useless arm to me. I took his hand and shook it, being very careful not to hurt him at all.
“Th-thanks Cole and g-good luck on g-g-getting out of here!” I managed to say, though with great difficulty.
I couldn’t make it back to the car, even with Jamie’s aid. Dad picked me up and was holding me to his chest as though I were a small child. I’m not big like Tater and Bull, but I know I must get heavy none-the-less.
Back in the car, I laid down in the backseat with my head in Mom’s lap. Jamie had climbed into the front seat with Dad, and I fell asleep before we had pulled out of our parking space.
I slept the whole trip home and only woke up when Dad was trying to get me out of the car. I was so tired that I couldn’t walk. Dad, knowing this, picked me up in his arms again, and carried me into the house and put me to bed.
I woke up about an hour later to find myself lying on my bed, completely naked. At first, I couldn’t figure out why I was naked, but then I saw Mom at my dresser pulling out a cloth diaper and plastic pants. I closed my eyes again and pretended to still be asleep. I was sure that Dad had told her everything by now, and I wasn’t ready to face the music just yet.
I nearly gave away that I was awake when Mom started to apply the diaper cream to my diaper area. I felt a small tingle in my diaper area, and that was all the warning I needed. I started thinking about anything and everything I could that was horrible. I envisioned Runt lying on the pavement after being shot, Tater, and the others locked in a cell somewhere, and Peter and his goons trapped at that military school. It worked, and I was able to keep myself from getting an erection. When I was tucked back under my covers and I was sure Mom had gone, I opened my eyes again only to find I wasn’t alone. Jamie was sitting on his bed reading something. I had to squint to see, and then I realized it was the porn magazine. He must have retrieved it while I was sleeping, and without me knowing he’d done it.
“Jamie?” I whispered.
“Hey! You’re up!” Jamie said, sounding glad.
“Yeah, so what’s going on?” I asked, and Jamie knew what I was asking.
“Well your Mom and Dad talked for a long time. I wasn’t allowed to listen, but I did anyway.” Jamie said, and I didn’t like the idea that he probably knew everything now, even about the sex.
I swallowed, “And?”
“Well, then your Mom came in and changed your diaper, ‘‘cause you were really wet when we got home.” Jamie said, and I found it odd that he knew the condition of my diaper and I hadn’t.
“So . . . you know everything now?” I asked nervously.
“Yep!” he said, very confidently, giving his head a small jerk that smacked of smugness.
I shuddered, and my stomach gave a loud growl.
“Whoa, was that your stomach?” Jamie asked with a grin.
“Yeah.” I answered, while rubbing my belly. Since I’d lost my breakfast earlier, and it was now after lunchtime, I was pretty darn hungry.
Jamie let out a really big sigh, “Ok, I got a confession to make too.” I couldn’t possibly guess what Jamie might have to confess other than taking back his magazine, but I listened.
He took a deep breath, and in one quick exhale, managed to say, “I have been reading your journal notebook for years and I am very sorry please don’t hate me!”
It took several seconds for it to sink in; what he’d just said. He’d rattled it off so fast that I had to slow it down and replay it in my mind. Jamie was sitting across the room on his bed, completely frozen, and still waiting for me to explode and I did want to explode. Boy, did I want to explode! I was so angry with him, that I was seeing red. I sucked in my bottom lip, and chomped down on it so hard, that I could taste my own blood. Then I remembered . . . “Blood brothers.” I said, but only loud enough for me to hear.
“What?” Jamie asked when he heard me mutter something that he couldn’t hear.
“Nothing!” I said to him.
I didn’t talk to Jamie for several hours after that. He stayed on his bed the entire time. Sometimes he was reading a comic book, sometimes reading the porno, and sometimes he just sat staring at me.
Mom had come in with a tray of lunch for me. She’d asked if I was feeling better and I told her I was. I didn’t try to make small talk with her right then. I was too scared that the punishment that I knew was coming would come sooner, rather than later. Mom left me to eat my grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup, and when I was done, I went back to staring at the ceiling and thinking. I don’t even remember Mom coming back in to take the tray away.