By Danny
Sometime in the late hours of the night Jamie whispered from across the room, “Hey Simon?”
“Yeah?” I whispered back.
“Are you awake?” He asked.
“Naw, I’m sound asleep and you’ve reached my answering machine. Please leave a message after the beep . . . . . . . BEEEEEP!” I joked.
I could hear Jamie chuckle before asking in a hushed voice, “I been thinking . . .
“That could be dangerous.” I interrupted.
“Shut up!” he replied with a quick chuckle before continuing with what he was saying, “Why do we have rules and laws?”
“Gee-whiz what a question! Um, I don’t know!” I thought for a minute, “I . . . I guess so people can live together in peace and harmony.” I finally answered back.
“Humm,” Jamie made a thinking sound and then stated, “I don’t know if we have too many or not enough of them then!”
There was a long pause before I interjected with, “Maybe we have too many people. Did you ever think of that?”
“Then we need more rules and laws.” Jamie said fairly quickly, sounding awfully sure of himself.
There was a further fragment of hush until I again offered my wisdom, “If we had more rules, then wouldn’t we have less freedom?” I wasn’t sure if I was stating a fact, or asking a question.
“Well what do we do about that?” Jamie asked. I could just barely see that he had his arms raised in the air as if longing for the answer to fall into them.
I gave a small laugh and said; “Tell ya what; when you figure it out . . . you let me know okay?”
Thinking we were done I went back to staring into the darkness and wondering where Tater and the others were and what they might be doing. I had just started thinking about Mike and Jasper and how they were going to take the news when it finally all came out, but Jamie once again pierced the silence with another profound question. “Simon?”
“Yeah?” I answered back a little annoyed.
“Did you ever try to think of just nothing?” he asked.
I had to giggle out loud at the depth of Jamie’s thinking so late at night. “Yeah, it’s pretty hard huh?” I giggled again.
“Yeah, something always keeps sneaking in!” He stated and we both laughed quietly.
When the morning light started to appear around our bedroom curtain, Jamie got up, pulled open the curtain, and said in an almost normal tone; “Good morning!” It seemed odd, since we’d done so much whispering throughout the night. “Stopped snowing.” He declared.
The light coming in through the now open curtains wasn’t so bright as to hurt our eyes. The sun was only just starting its' morning climb into the sky. I lifted up my head and looked at the back of Jamie as he stood looking out the window at the snow. “Can you help me up?” I asked, and Jamie came over, took hold of both of my hands, and sat me upright in my bed. “Thanks!” I said.
“No problem, anything for my baby-brother!” Jamie said.
I gave him probably the meanest and deadliest look I could muster, but Jamie was unfazed! His eyes got wide and he said while holding up both hands as if he was trying to stop a charging rhinoceros. “OK! I was just kidding!”
I continued to glare at him and he took an uneasy sidestep, then sat down next to me on my bed. “So, you sleep any last night?”
“Nope, someone kept asking me fool questions!” I stated with a high degree of sarcasm.
Jamie just smiled.
“Did you sleep any?” I returned the question.
“Not after they woke me up.” He said, meaning Tater and Runt.
“It sure was mean of your bear to attack Tater the way it did last night.” I said with a smirk. Jamie looked at the bear. “Hey, it’s your bear! I gave him to you!” He said, trying to keep a straight face but not doing so well.
I rubbed at the tape still encasing my chest trying to ease a small itch. “I think I’m about ready to have this dang tape changed, it’s starting to itch.” I said.
I looked over at the clock. It said it was eight minutes past six. Jamie, following my eyes to the clock and seeing the time for himself, asked; “Want to see if there are any cartoons on yet?” He sounded too upbeat for someone that had been up all night.
“OK” I agreed, and I tried to reach for the remote to the TV but it hurt so I let Jamie stand up and grab it, which meant he ended up with control of the TV. I scooted backwards so that I was leaning against my headboard and so that I was more comfortable. Jamie joined me after retrieving his own pillow from his bed. We were sitting so close together that our legs, hips, and arms were touching. I couldn’t believe I was sitting there with my wet diaper exposed to him and watching cartoons. I really wasn’t all that wet, only just enough to tell that I’d used it while lying there unable to sleep. It was one thing having Jamie think I wet my bed at night but it was another thing entirely having him realize that I had knowingly wet myself. And I didn’t get much conciliation out of the idea that I couldn’t really get out of bed on my own seeing how I did it last night.
Had someone told me two weeks ago that things between Jamie and I would end up as they are right now, I would have told them they were nuts but never-the-less, here we are!
While we were sitting there, a thought crossed my mind. “When you looked out the window, did you still see any footprints in the snow?”
Without breaking his concentration on the TV he said, “There was no sign of them at all.”
“You sure?” I asked.
With a mixture of annoyance and whining he said, “Yea! I looked!” as he flipped through the channels looking for something to watch.
“Good” I said, more for myself.
We watched the new Duck Dodgers first. It was the first time I’d seen it and it was really good; then again Daffy Duck and Porky Pig have always been favorites of mine. There were lots of those Marvin the Martian type people, but some were taller. Lilo and Stitch came on after that and when it ended, Jamie started channel surfing looking for something else to watch. He stopped on channel seven to watch a commercial about baby diapers. I gave him the evil eye again and he started to giggle.
“You keep it up and I’m going to break that nose of yours again!” I warned and since he knew I’d never really do it, it just made him giggle even more.
He was about to change the channel again but stopped when he saw that Beast Wars was coming on. I’m not into that show but I watched it; it wasn’t so bad. When it was finally over, I asked if I could choose the next show. Jamie looked at me and had that old look in his eye that told me he was about to make another comment in reference to my wetting, but thankfully he managed to control himself . . . that time. He handed me the remote and I flipped only a few channels before landing on Freakazoid.
“Yeah, that’s a good show!” Jamie declared.
Maybe ten minutes into the first cartoon Jamie turned to me and asked, “Does it really bother you?”
“No! I like this show too!” I said.
“That’s not what I meant.” Jamie said.
“What then?” I asked back.
“When I say stuff like, well you know.” He said.
I didn’t answer right away, but took my time to think before answering him, “Sometimes.” I said quietly.
We continued watching the cartoon until it ended and the next one began. I’d seen it before, but it was one of my favorite ones where Freakazoid was singing in the bank while it was being robbed. It’s so very funny.
“I won’t do it anymore!” Jamie said.
I didn’t answer mostly because I didn’t believe him. Well, that’s not entirely true. I think he meant it at that very moment, but I didn’t think he has it or will ever have it within him to resist.
“Yes you will!” I accused.
It was his turn to think before he said anything else. It was a good five minutes before he finally added, “You’re probably right, but if I ever go too far; will you tell me?”
“You went too far!” I said immediately with absolutely no expression on my face or in my voice at all.
I could tell that Jamie had trouble reading me; he screwed up his face and finally said, “Huh!”
I tried not to smile, but it was apparent that I was trying to hide it. He gave me a slight nudge with his elbow and he knew the second he did it that it was a mistake.
“Jamie!” I complained.
“Oh Simon! I’m sorry, I forgot again!” Jamie said moving away from me while I
clutched at my taped-up ribs.
“You did that on purpose!” I accused.
“No! Honest Simon! Really I wouldn’t do that!” Jamie said to his own defense.
I clutched at my ribs, “You’re going to die a slow and horrible death!” I cry softly.
“You OK? Please say you are OK?” He was begging me to say yes.
“Do I look OK?” I snapped at him.
“Well, no, you kind of look terrible.” Jamie said. I looked at him when he said that and for some reason, it made me laugh and that didn’t help my pain at all.
“Please don’t do that again.” I begged, while trying to let myself relax and let the pain pass.
“I really didn’t mean it! I am very sorry!” He said, easing back down on the bed. He reached up toward my face and wiped a couple tears away for me. “Seriously, are you OK?” he asked.
“I will be.” I assured him.
He kept looking at me like he expected me to absolve him. After several minutes, it got annoying. “You can stop staring at me now!” I said.
“Yeah, right!” He said while straightening out his legs and leaning all the way back into his pillow.
A minute later. “You still OK?” he asked.
Meaning to annoy him, I slid my diapered butt down in the bed about a foot then leaned to the right enough to let my head rest against his shoulder. However, instead of it having the intended effect on him, he got really quiet and didn’t utter a single word or make a single sound for the longest time. I ended up falling asleep like that, just about halfway through the Bugs Bunny Road Runner Hour, and slept for about forty-five minutes until I felt him trying to move.
I woke back up and moved my head off him. “Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up but my arm went to sleep.” Jamie said softly.
“Oh, sorry. Guess I was more tired than I thought.” I said, rubbing my eyes and yawning.
“You feeling OK now?” Jamie asked, rubbing his arm.
“Yeah, just hungry.” I answered.
“Yeah, me too. I wonder if anyone else is up yet?” Jamie said.
“Probably. You heard anyone?” I asked.
“I wasn’t paying attention.” He confessed, “Want to go see?” He asked, still rubbing, and now shaking his arm.
“Yeah, um, can you get me some pants or maybe my bathrobe?” I asked.
“You’re robes’ right there.” He said, pointing to it hanging over the headboard where I’d left it when we’d come back from calling the police last night.
“Oh Yeah, I forgot.” I said, trying to reach for it but couldn’t, because he was partially leaning on it and also because it hurt me to stretch that way.
“I think you over did it last night.” Jamie said.
“I think it’s more like someone needs to stop accidentally bumping my ribs on purpose!” I said in a mock tone.
Jamie smiled as he said; “Yeah whoever keeps doing that needs to stop!”
“Jerk!” I sneered and muttered under my breath. I thought it was low enough that he didn’t hear me but I guess he did.
He had been trying to stand up while rubbing his arm to get it to come back to life, but he stopped when he heard me. He turned so that I could see right into his eyes and he said; “Do you really want to get into a name calling contest?”
I smiled back at him. “No way!” I said.
“Good! Then come on baby brother, let’s go get some breakfast!” Jamie said, moving away fast so that I couldn’t hit him. Instead, I just growled at him.
“I thought you said you weren’t going to do that anymore?” I said trying to sound pitiful.
“Yeah, and you said I couldn’t stop. So I say, why fight it, huh?” Jamie was purposefully standing out of arms’ reach. He had his hands on his hips and was wagging his head when he spoke.
I let my chin drop and faked him out. I made him think I was about to start crying again and it worked. “Oh come on Simon! I am only teasing; I don’t really mean it. You know I don’t mean it don’t you?” He said, trying to sound kind and loving.
He made the mistake of coming too close, and I let swing a swift backhand that made contact square on his bare chest. Unfortunately, in my already wounded condition, my swing had very little effect on him other than to startle him just a bit.
He stood back up straight, rubbing his chest. “Oh, you dirty dog!” He moaned. “Oh, that hurt!”
“Oh, stop! I hardly touched you!” I said.
Jamie stood looking at me with both his hands over the spot where the back of my hand had caught him. He had a really funny look on his face. Not a humorous look. But a really sort of odd, like maybe he was about to cry.
He got really serious. “I don’t want to do this anymore.” He said, looking at the floor instead of me.
“What?” I said, still sounding derisive.
“This!” He sighed. “Why can’t we just be normal brothers?”
I’d not yet got the idea that he was really trying to reach out to me. “What do you think brothers do?” I asked.
He sat down on the corner of his bed, “Why do you hate me so much?”
“Me? You are the one that has always been so hateful to me!” I said, my voice rising a bit.
Jamie got really quiet, “I know why.”
“Why?” I snapped.
I could tell he was struggling with the answer, and I waited. “Because . . .” he didn’t finish, or maybe couldn’t finish.
I finished his sentence for him, “Because you are always making fun of me for something I can’t help!” My voice was getting loud enough that it was probably permeating the door to our room and making its way throughout the house, but I didn’t care just then. Jamie wouldn’t look at me as he shook his head in disagreement.
“Why, then?” I nearly barked.
“Never mind.” He said, then stood up, and went to his bag, where he pulled out a pair of pants and slipped them on over what he was already wearing. I watched as he then put on a shirt, the same shirt he’d worn last night and then he started stuffing the rest of his things into his bag like he was packing to leave.
He sat his bag on the edge of his bed, zipped it closed before finally looking at me, “I’m sorry. I just really . . .” his voice broke and I could see his eyes were glazed over with tears. That was when I finally got that he was really trying to tell me something and I had not been listening; I mean really listening. He continued after clearing his throat, “I just want to have a real family.” He finally confessed, before picking up his bag and heading for the door.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stop!” I said with my neck craned backwards to be able to see him. I never wished so hard that I could get up and chase after him as I did right then. “Please stop!”
Jamie had his back to me and had one hand on the doorknob; his bag clutched in the other. His head was hanging so low, that from my vantage point, he looked headless.
“Please come over here.” I said as nicely as I possibly could, but he didn’t move, “Jamie? Please?”
Letting his hand drop from the knob, he turned around and I saw that tears were flowing down his face like two small rivers.
“Please come back?” I pleaded.
He dropped his bag there by the door and came over to where I could see him without having to contort my neck. I reached out a hand to him. He looked at it, and waited a few seconds before taking it. I pulled on his arm to bring him down closer to me and he sort of collapsed onto my bed and my lap in a heap and began to ball so hard he was trembling all over. He had his face buried in my stomach and I could feel his warm tears running down over my belly. I was holding the top his head with one hand, and I had my other hand on the back of his neck. I knew he wasn’t just crying about our argument. No, this was one of those cries that someone had been holding in for years. His left arm had wrapped around behind my lower back while his right hand was gripping my left thigh so hard that it was really hurting, but I didn’t say anything.
Jamie cried for a good ten minutes before he finally released his grip on my leg, and when he did, I saw that there were red marks in my skin were his nails had been digging into my flesh. He tried to get up, but I held on to him and pulled him close so that the two of us were now hugging. He dropped his face in my neck and continued to sob. It hurt like heck to have him hugging me so hard, but I knew he really needed to get this out and I let him continue to cry for several minutes until I couldn’t stand the pain any longer.
“Jamie?” I said softly. He pulled away and looked at me. His face was all red and tear stained. “Remember what I said at your house?” I asked, holding him around his shoulders. He managed to nod a response. “Well I meant it. You and me are brothers! I’m not just saying that, I mean it! You and me got the same blood!”
His eyes got really wet again as he shook his head, “Only half!” He managed to say between sobs. “We’ll never be full brothers!” He said, losing it again and bawling as hard as before.
I tried to think and suddenly it occurred to me, “Wait!” I said, “Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait a minute!” I said, as an idea began to form in my head. Jamie’s sobs eased again and he looked at me expectantly.
I guess he got impatient because he put his hands out and said through his sobs; “WHAT!”
“OK!” I said smiling at my own brilliance. “OK now, I know how we can be full brothers!” I said and Jamie cocked his head exactly the way a dog does when it’s trying to figure out what you are saying to it.
I was about to try to explain my idea further when he lifted the front of his shirt and wiped his snotty nose on it. “Oh man! Jamie, that was really gross!” I said, covering my mouth to keep from being sick. It made Jamie smile finally. “Sorry, had to do it!” He said.
Trying my best to ignore his now snot-covered shirt, I continued laying out my idea. “What I’m trying to say is that we can become blood brothers You know, like the Indians used to do.” I said, and waited for his response
Jamie wiped at his face with his hand, “And you said I was gross?” Jamie finally spoke, but he then thought about it for two or three seconds. “Yeah, that could work!” He said, trying to stop himself from crying anymore. I could tell he was also getting excited with the idea too.
“Yeah, and then we’d be full brothers! Both with the same blood!” I added.
Jamie leaned backwards and pulled one of his legs around so that he was now sitting on my bed. He wiped at his face again, sniffled and said; “I guess you think I’m a real cry-baby huh?” He sniffled again.
“No!” I said quickly. “I do think you are about gross!” I said pointing at his shirt, “But I don’t think you are a cry-baby.”
He lifted his shirt as if to look at it, and then he wiped his nose again.
“Uh! That is just sick! Gawd! There are hankies in my dresser! Go get yourself one, for crying out loud, and change your shirt while you are at it!” I had my eyes covered with one hand, and was pointing at my dresser with my other hand.
I felt Jamie getting off the bed. I removed my hand to see he’d already pulled off his shirt again, and was going to my dresser, “Which drawer?” He asked.
“They used to be in the second drawer, but Mom’s been rearranging everything in there, so it’s hard to tell where they are now.” I stated.
Jamie opened the second drawer and found one of my hankies. He wiped his nose and then blew it. “Want me to put this back?” He said jokingly.
“I’m going to barf if you don’t stop!” I warned, and it made Jamie chuckle.
He slid the drawer closed as he asked; “OK, so how do we do it?”
He started back over to the bed wiping at his eyes and face with the now, snot and probably booger filled, hanky. I did my best to not pay attention to him. “Well, I saw in this one movie where this mountain man that had a full grown pet bear, became blood brothers with this Indian and they cut open each other’s hand, then tied them together and sat for several days to let all their blood mix together.” I said, as I demonstrated the cutting by dragging my index finger across the palm of my hand as if my finger were a knife.
Jamie hid his hands behind his back, “Um, I – I don’t think we have days and days!” He said with a quivering voice.
“Me either!” I agreed.
“We could put each other’s blood into glasses and drink it!” Jamie offered.
“Aaah! Jamie are you always this gross or is this just a special time for you?” I retorted.
“What? Vampires do it!” He said in his own defense.
“Uh, I don’t think I have ever seen a vampire use a glass!” I taunted.
“That’s not what I meant!” Jamie complained.
In a bad Dracula impression, I said; “I don’t what to suck on your neck either!”
He gave my knee a squeeze in mild frustration, “Come on, be serious!”
“Well, I think that whatever we do it’s got to be something that Mom and Dad are not going to find out about. Mom will go nuclear on us if she knew we cut ourselves.” I said.
Jamie suddenly got a wild look in his eye, and it kind of scared me. His lips parted into a grin very much like that of the Grinch that stole Christmas.
“NO!” I said, pointing at him.
He sniffed really hard like he was trying to clear his nose backup into his head before he reached out and smacked my pointing hand away. “You don’t even know what I am thinking! And besides . . .”
He didn’t get to finish what he was about to say. Our bedroom door opened and Mom came in fully dressed and cheeks very rosy like she put on too much makeup this morning. When I saw her purse in her hand I said, “Morning mum! You coming or going?”
“Just coming back from Wal-Mart. You boys about ready for breakfast?” She asked.
“Yeah!” Jamie said excitedly.
“Past ready!” I said.
“OK, how’s waffles sound?” She asked, as she started to turn to go.
“Great!” Jamie and I said in unison.
“JINX!” I shouted, and pointed at Jamie.
Like I’d just suddenly uttered a magic word, Jamie’s lips slammed shut. I threw my head back to look at Mom, “Don’t say his name!”
Jamie pinked my leg really hard. “Hey!” I complained to Jamie.
“Now be careful that you don’t hurt Simon!” Mom warned Jamie.
“Yeah, don’t hurt Simon!” I repeated while wagging my finger at him. He tried to swat at it again, but I was too fast for him this time.
“Simon?” Mom called.
I threw my head back again to look towards the door. “Yeah?” I answered.
“I’ll be back in to help you get dressed in a minute, OK?” She said.
“Um, no, that’s OK! I’m good till after breakfast!” I said, and she gave me a look. I gave her a look back, and she shrugged her shoulders before leaving down the hallway again.
“Hey Mom?” I shouted down the hallway after her.
“What dear?” She called back.
“Where’s Dad?” I asked.
“In his office on the phone. Why?” She answered.
“No reason, just was wondering.” I shouted back, and when I looked back at Jamie, he was staring at me and looking very harassed. He pointed a single finger at himself.
“No!” I said to him.
He pointed at himself again, but with more conviction.
“Sorry!” I said.
He then pointed at himself with both of his index fingers, and made contact with his chest with a small thud. He looked angry.
“Tell you what; you help me get up, get my bathrobe and slippers on, and then help me get to the kitchen, then I might say your name. OK?” I knew he wouldn’t go for it, but I was so enjoying myself.
He again pointed at himself with greater fervor.
“Those are my terms! Take it or leave it!” I said, folding my arms over my chest and hurting myself slightly in the process.
Jamie got a satisfied look on his face at seeing me wince.
I smiled at him, and then held out my hands for him to take in order to help me up. He did so with a grimace, as if admitting momentary defeat. Once I was standing with his help, for the first minute or so, Jamie pointed at my ribs. I looked down to see the tape was coming loose again, but in a different spot.
“MOM!” I shouted through the house. She didn’t answer at first and I was about to shout again when Jamie pointed toward the door. I looked over and Dad was standing there.
“Oh, Hi Dad!” I said. Jamie just waved and gave a goofy smile.
“What’s with the yelling?” Dad asked me.
“Oh, I’m coming apart at the seams.” I jested, while turning to show him where the tape was coming off.
“I’ll take care of it. But do me a favor and don’t yell like that again, OK?” I could tell the way Dad was saying it that he was trying to be cool despite being a little angry.
“Sorry” I said, and again Jamie waved.
“What’s with . . .” I stopped Dad before he could say Jamie’s name.
“DON’T SAY IT!” I yelled again. Dad gave me a look, and I knew I was about to be in trouble if I didn’t turn the volume on my voice box way, way down, and in a hurry.
“I jinxed him!” I said, much softer. Jamie took a swing at my arm, but pulled his hand back at the last second when he realized he was about to hurt me again. He looked very aggravated that I was manipulating him like this, and I knew I was going to pay when someone finally said his name. I just wanted to make him suffer for a while longer.
Dad laughed and said, “I’ll be right back with the tape.”
When Dad was out of sight, Jamie balled up his fists and started jumping up and down like a two year old throwing a tantrum. When he was done, he again adopted the attitude of momentary defeat as he picked up my bathrobe and helped me put it on, like a servant would help his king put on a royal robe.
“And my slippers?” I said, pointing to my bare feet.
Jamie made a hump sound by blowing a breath of air out his nose.
“Now, now! None of that!” I warned, waving my finger only an inch from his nose. He tried to bite it, but I retracted it with lightning speed.
“HEY!” I verbally chastised him, “You will spoil your appetite eating finger sandwiches!” I joked, while still trying to sound serious. Jamie covered his mouth as he snorted with silent laughter. I, on the other hand, giggled out loud.
Dad came in with the tape and sort of overdid it with putting me back together. At first, he wanted to take all the tape off and start over, but I told him that Mom said she wanted to let the doctor do it. I had absolutely no desire to have Dad go and rip the tape, and probably some of my flesh, off of my already broken bones. So instead, he started at the top and completely re-wrapped me right over the top of the old tape.
While Dad was taping me back together, he was rambling; “I called, and they are going to come and tow your mother’s van later today, to fix the fender and bumper, then replace the front tires and take care of whatever else might be wrong with it.”
“Wow! She did all that?” I said in amazement.
“Oh Yeah! You’ve not seen it yet have you?” Dad said, patting my diapered butt as he finished taping me up. I glanced at Jamie who was smirking at seeing Dad do that.
“You need help getting to the breakfast table?” Dad asked, standing up from where he’d been kneeling on the floor.
Jamie was standing behind Dad, having put on a clean shirt, and was shaking his head yes to Dad’s question. “Ah no, I think we can manage.” I said motioning to Jamie.
“OK, but no fooling around, and you be careful with your brother!” Dad said, mussing Jamie’s hair more than it already was from tossing and turning all night.
With bathrobe on and tied around me, and my slippers on my feet, Jamie led me down the hallway. I held on to the back of his shoulders, and was muttering under my breath. “The Great Simon makes his way down the mystic corridor with his loyal, yet mute sidekick, Jinx bravely leading the way!” Though I was behind him, I could feel through my touch that he was laughing.