By Danny
I couldn’t believe how nice a day it was today; it was almost like someone gave me this perfect day as a birthday present. I’m not sure what part of my party I enjoyed the most. Dad had carried me to the living room an hour or so before everyone started arriving for the party. I couldn’t believe how many people showed up; it was like a mad house. Mr. Freeman, my principal, had arrived dressed as a clown. He had the big shoes, costume and even the big red nose. His wife, nurse Gabby from the hospital had come, too, and she wasn’t alone. She’d arranged for all the boys that had been my roommates in the hospital to come to my party, heck even Kyle was there though he was strapped into a wheelchair to keep him from trying to walk since he was missing his one leg. Having all the guys from the hospital wasn’t the shocking part, what really shocked me was the fact that every last one of them came wearing diapers and their hospital gowns. Some had on bathrobes but for the most part they were only clad in their diapers. I couldn’t believe it! Oh sure I was in my own diaper but at least mom had put a pair of pants on me along with my Panther Jersey too.
Jasper, Lowell, Mike and Jamie my brother had all showed up about the same time with their parents. Lowell plopped down on the sofa next to me and I heard that sound that told me he wasn’t wearing a pull up this time but was wearing a disposable diaper and from the look of Jasper’s pants, I was guessing he was, too. Everyone was carrying in presents and stacking them on the fireplace hearth; of course there was no fire in the fireplace.
To my complete surprise Tater, Bull, Runt and Two-Toes came walking in the front door looking perfectly normal and not upset in the least. I took it as a sign that the news broadcast I had heard last night wasn’t about them after all. They were followed by their coach and then mine who was then followed by every one of my new teammates.
Mary was the one that really made me happy when she came in followed by a man I didn’t know. She had her arm in a sling and I could just see the cast peeking out. She smiled and I melted like butter.
The stack of presents was so high that I couldn’t see the fireplace; it was all just so overwhelming and everywhere I looked there were people. Most of the kids had piled in the living room with me, a bunch of adults were in the kitchen, den and dinning room talking with my parents or themselves. The two coaches were over talking by the pile of presents and Mr. Freeman was wandering around the house making balloon animals, balloon hats and all sorts of other balloon things. He kept looking at me, winking and honking a bicycle horn that was hanging around his neck. He was enjoying making me laugh, which didn’t hurt as much as I thought it should.
Dad hung a pińata that looked a little too much like my head, busted up eye and all from the ceiling fan in the living room as kid after kid took turns swinging at it blindfolded. It was my brother Jamie that finally made contact with it as candy and money came spilling out all over the place. That was really cool to watch as the candy, coins and dollar bills rained down on everyone as they scrambled to catch it.
The opening of my presents was really cool. I don’t know whose idea it was but instead of me opening all the presents the person that brought the present opened it for me. I got all kinds of really cool stuff and probably the best thing was the tickets to go see WWE Raw wrestling live in two weeks, those were from my brother Jamie and his mom.
Everybody helped me to blow out the candles on my cake before we all had some with ice-cream and then the party started to break up a little at a time, while some people still stood around talking and having a good time.
It was so incredibly nice outside that after the party had pretty much died down a bunch of us went out to the front porch. I actually walked myself out but Nurse Gabby, who was now wearing Mr. Freeman’s big red clown nose and with my dads’ assistance, they helped me along. I was feeling better then I had since I got beat-up.
Jasper, Mike, Jamie and I were sitting on the front steps of my house and most of my guests had left. Jamie was sitting on my left side, Jasper was to my right and Mike was sitting to Jasper’s right and was trying feverishly to solve the Rubik’s-Ball that Jasper had given me for a present. We were looking at the latest WWE wrestling magazine and commenting on how the newer wrestlers didn’t seem to have what the older more experienced wrestlers seem to have or used to have in some cases like Triple-H and Rick Flair. We were also ogling the WWE lady wrestlers when Jasper suddenly froze solid and let the magazine fall to the step between his feet. Mike said something like, “What’s the deal?” to Jasper. I heard Jamie say something too but I still don’t know what it was for sure.
I looked up at Jasper to see what was wrong thinking maybe he’d just had a twinge of pain again from where he’d been stabbed or something like that, but as I looked up, I saw that he was white as a sheet and looking straight ahead toward the street. While Jamie was reaching down for the magazine Mike and I both turned our heads to see what had him so spooked and to our horror there standing on the other side of the street was Peter Alderman. His head was tilted forward slightly; his hair was matted down and looked greasy like he’d not bathed in days. He was looking out of the top of his eyes at the four of us sitting there. The one odd thing was that it seemed to be gray and raining on that side of the street but on our side it was still sunny and warm.
I didn’t think-I just reacted. I was to my feet and screaming for Bull, Tater and Runt who I knew were behind the house shooting hoops in the driveway. Though I was screaming their names the odd thing was, I couldn’t hear myself at all but I knew sound was coming out of my mouth. I started to take my first step to run around to get them when I heard this incredibly loud explosion and my left side suddenly felt like it was on fire. I heard the explosion four more times in really fast succession and maybe three or four seconds of silence and then one more explosion.
I stopped dead at the bottom of the steps and looked toward the direction of the explosions. Peter was no longer standing across the street but was lying on the sidewalk and wasn’t moving.
It was raining on our side of the street now too as Tater came flying around the corner of the house followed by Bull and then Runt who was still carrying the ball. I turned to them and was going to say something but my right side was burning so much. I reached around myself with my left hand and felt something gooey and warm. I pulled my hand back to look at what was all over it and saw that it was covered in blood and I couldn’t understand how or why.
I looked up again and saw Bull and Tater flying past me on either side and Runt was grabbing me by my arms. It’s kind of funny, but I remember telling him, “Be careful of my sore ribs.” Even though they were not hurting me at all.
I started to turn to see where Bull and Tater had gone but my legs gave out and I sort of fell down in a spinning motion but not hard because Runt had a hold of me and helped me down to the grown. As I was falling I seen the front storm door fly open and Mr. Freeman still dressed in his clown suite came bursting out followed by my dad and then Jasper’s dad. I looked up at the sky as my head made contact with the ground with a mild thump. It was raining so very hard now and the sky had become completely black except for a single white fluffy cloud directly over me but I saw it for only a second before Runt’s head eclipsed it. His face was only inches from mine and he looked to be screaming at me but I couldn’t hear a single word he was saying as rain dripped off his hair and face.
Dad had grabbed me and pulled me up to him and was hugging me. Aunt Catharine had come from out of nowhere, heck I didn’t even know she’d come to the party until this second. She was standing over dad and I waving her fat finger at me and screaming, “You did it! You did it just admit that it was you! You did it!” I had no idea what she was screaming about and she just kept screaming that over and over again.
I was able to see from over dads’ shoulder that Jamie was lying face down on the walk with his feet still on the steps. I couldn’t see my other friends because Bull, Tater and all the adults that had spilled out of the house were blocking them from my view. I remember trying to figure why Jamie was laying in such a funny position and why no one was paying any attention to him.
My side was really burning white hot and at the same time I was feeling really cold. I saw a flash of green shoot past my eyes and then everything and everyone was gone except I could still hear the rain falling.
I lay listening to the rain for several seconds before I opened my eyes and realized for the first time that I had been dreaming again. I managed to life my head from my pillow to look out my window. It was still dark but I could see that it was raining out and pretty hard too. Somewhere way off in the distance I heard the rumble of thunder.
I was breathing hard but steady as I rested my head back against my pillow and thought about the dream I’d just had. Right up until the end it had been so good and so real but then everything turned bad as I realized Peter had killed my friends and himself.
I closed my eyes for a second, took a deep breath and then let it go again. I was feeling a bit sweaty and I am sure that was because of my dream or maybe because I was so well covered with the sheets and blankets. I looked over at my clock radio; it said that it was eighteen minutes after seven.
“Sure is dark out for being after 7 o’clock.” I said as I started to think about my birthday party in my dream. Funny thing about it was that I’d not even noticed in my dream that it had gone from Thursday to Sunday and totally skipped over Friday and Saturday. I guess in dreams your brain only creates what it needs to keep the dream going. Now that I think about it, it was odd that no one seemed to mind or even notice that so many of my guests were running around in diapers and hospital gowns.
Dismissing the bad part of my dream, I closed my eyes and tried to recapture all the fun bits. I could again see my cake, which was completely covered in candles even though I am only turning twelve.
This birthday is going to only be the third one that I’ve ever had that I could actually celebrate on my real birthday, February 29th, Leap Day. Actually I only remember two of them since I was only four years old when my first real birthday came around. Normally we celebrate my birthday on February 28th since there is only a February 29th every four years.
My dream nearly vanished completely when there was a huge crash of thunder that sounded like it was directly over top our house. I heard mom screech from elsewhere in the house and a couple minutes later dad came into my room. When dad saw that I was awake he smiled and asked, “You okay?”
“Yea” I said.
“Didn’t that scare you?” he asked.
I just smiled and shook my head before saying, “Sounded like it scared the bajeebers out of mom though.”
“Didn’t do to good for me either.” Dad said with a smile and clutching at his heart, “You ready to get up?”
I noticed at that second that dad wasn’t wearing his normal suit and tie. “Hey, aren’t you going to work today?”
“I am going in later this morning for an hour or two but I thought it would be better if I was here.” He said before asking again, “So you ready to get up?”
“Um” I hesitated as I realized I was again wearing a soaked diaper and from the feel of it I thought I might have messed myself again while I’d been sleeping. The thought of having pooped myself while I slept really bothered me; I could understand having wet since that is a perfectly normal thing for me to do but pooping was not normal.
“What?” dad asked looking a bit concerned as that wrinkle appeared between his eyebrows.
I must have started to turn red because he got that look that said he understood. “You want me to get your mother?” he asked pointing at the door.
Okay, now the thought of pooping myself while I slept was bad but the idea of mom having to clean it up again really didn’t sit well with me. I shook my head but I don’t think dad saw because he was already heading for the door. A few minutes later mom came in wiping her hands with one of the dishtowels.
“Oh good morning sweet-heart. Did you sleep good?” she asked slinging the towel over her shoulder.
“Not really.” I answered, “I kept having weird dreams.” I chose not to tell her that they were so violent and bad.
“I thought so.” She said as she sat down on my bed and combed my hair with her fingers. “I could hear you talking in your sleep most of the night.” She said with a smile.
The thought that some of my secrets might have escaped while I slept scared me more then my dreams had.
“You want to try to take a bath this morning?” mom asked.
“Um” I hesitated again, “I think I have a situation.” I said.
Mom’s eyes told me that she understood what I meant. “That’s okay, honey, with everything you have been through and all the medication.” She smiled again, “It doesn’t surprise me at all.”
Trying to think of a way to get cleaned up without having my mother do it I asked, “Can I just take a shower and wash it all off that way?”
I could tell she didn’t much like that idea but she said, “Do you think you can take a shower by yourself?”
“I can hold on to the wall.” I assured before continuing, “I might need dad’s help getting up and getting into the shower.”
Sitting up in the bed proved to be the hardest part of my morning journey to and back from the shower. Dad came in and helped me get sat up in bed, I was nearly moved to tears with how much it hurt to move at all. When he sat me up I felt the poop in my diaper squish and spread all over my backside. It was so gross that I nearly lost control and started to cry; I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself together. I felt so humiliated sitting there in my own filth and my thoughts went back to my last dream and to Peter lying on the ground across the street dead. I was in so much pain that I actually wished at the moment that it had been real.
After I sat there for several minutes, dad had opened the window a crack to let out the stink; he then started to help me out of my bed. It was the first time since I’d come home that I had got of my bed too. He was kneeling in front of me while I held on to his shoulders and mom was holding on to my right arm and shoulder. My diaper was drooping way down between my legs but I tried my best not to think about the fact that I was standing there in front of both of my parents wearing a wet and soiled diaper like a little baby.
As my legs got used to having weight on them again mom asked, “You okay?”
“Yea it doesn’t hurt a lot.” I said sort of breathlessly.
“Well let’s take it nice and slow. We have all day.” Dad said gripping me tighter around my waist.
I started to turn my upper body without turning my hips but I stopped immediately when I felt a sharp pain. “Okay . . . I’m not going to do that again!” I joked as my fingers dug into dads’ shoulders. “Yea that looked like it hurt.” He said with a chuckle.
“It did!” I assured with an accompanying grimace.
“You ready to try walking now?” mom asked and I just nodded my head.
Dad stood up in front of me and was still stooping down a little so that I wasn’t so stretched. I took hold of both of his biceps as I took a step. I felt a twinge from my ankle but it was only a small one. I took another step and another. Mom had gone a head of us to their master bathroom to get it ready for me as dad walked backwards down the hall holding tightly to me. My legs still felt a little wobbly from hardly being used at all the last few days. I was going to take a shower in their bathroom because, as dad said, it was bigger and there is a built in seat in it. I’d had to use their toilet before when someone else was in the hallway bathroom but I had never used their tub and shower before. The master bathroom was nicer then mine, with everything all white and nice gold colored faucets. The floor and walls were all covered with a marble looking ceramic tile and they had a double sink, one for dad and one for mom. I had joked in the past that they needed a second toilet, too.
Once in the bathroom mom left us alone since it was a bit crowded with the three of us in there. Getting my right foot into the tub was easy, getting my left proved to be more difficult. For some reason, when I tried to lift my left foot high enough to get it in the tube it would hurt my ribs. I ended up having to have dad let me hold on to his shoulders while he lifted my left foot and leg into the tub for me.
Unfortunately, I was a little unsteadier then I thought I would be and I ended up having to let dad remove my wet and soiled diaper for me. I had to hold on to the wall with one hand and the diaper was so weighted down that I was having trouble getting it off with my free hand. One thing about mom, she sure can put a diaper on snugly enough that it won’t just fall off.
I braced myself against the wall as dad removed the tapes to my diaper and slid it out from between my legs. I hazarded a glance at dad who was green and looked like he was struggling not to barf. He rolled the diaper up and dropped it into the trashcan before reaching around and turning on the water. He got it to a good temperature before pulling on the lever that caused the water to come out through the showerhead.
I had expected the water to come out cold for the first couple seconds but it didn’t. It was the perfect temperature as it rained down on me. For several seconds I forgot that dad was kneeling on the floor still holding me around my waist as I enjoyed the feeling of the warm water.
“You doing okay.” He asked sounding a little alarmed. I guess he thought I might be trying to pass out or something.
“Yea!” I answered remembering he was there and just then a shiver ran up my spine as my body reacted to the warmth of the water. The shiver, which normally would have gone nearly unnoticed, caused a piercing pain that nearly made one knee buckle. I felt dad’s grip tighten.
“I’m okay!” I gasped still holding my head down as the water flowed over me.
“Tell you what, why don’t you let me help you get cleaned up this time.” Dad said and I didn’t even attempt to protest. That shiver and the subsequently pain took a lot out of me.
Dad proceeded to lather up a rag with the soap and washed the poop from my backside, from between my legs and even off my boyhood parts. Once dad was satisfied that he had cleaned my diaper areas well enough he had me backup and sit on the little built in seat in their shower while he continued to wash the rest of me. When he was washing my feet it tickled and I nearly laughed but dad said jokingly, “Don’t laugh or you will hurt yourself!”
Once he had me all soaped up all over he helped me to stand back up and get back under the water again. I wanted to wash my own hair but lifting my arms up that high was out of the question at that moment. As I was rinsing the shampoo out I started to get the feeling that I needed to pee but it wasn’t until I was actually going that I realized what I was doing. I’d had my eyes closed most of the time dad was bathing me; somehow thinking that if my eyes were closed I wouldn’t be as embarrassed to be naked and washed by my own father. But when I realized I was standing under the water peeing in front of my dad my eyes shot open in surprise and the shampoo got in them both. My bad eye hurt the most as I screamed at the pain and heard dad saying in a commanding tone, “Open your eyes and let the water run in them!”
It was hard to do but I did and though the water stung, too, it was nothing compared to the shampoo. When the shampoo was rinsed from my eyes I realized that dad was now standing in the tub and was holding me up since I had let go of the wall and was holding my eyes.
Dad started to laugh when he realized that I was okay. I looked over and mom was standing in the doorway to the bathroom looking both scared and surprised before smiling and then breaking into laughter at the sight of dad, fully dressed standing in the shower getting even wetter while holding on to my limp nude body. I’m so glad mom had not thought to grab the camera at that second.
When dad suggested that I let him carry me back to my room I didn’t protest that, either. Wrapped in a towel he put one arm behind my back and the other under my legs as he lifted me off the floor. He was still dripping wet and I could tell that mom wasn’t happy about him dripping all over her house. I’ve got wooden floors in my room with only a small woven oval rug in the center between Jamie and my bed so dad dripping in my room wasn’t such a big deal but most of the rest of the house has wall to wall carpeting and the carpet in their room is less then a year old. Mom was going behind us with another towel wiping the carpet; it was actually a little funny to watch her.
Back in my room dad turned and started to place me on my bed and as he did I thought I saw something move out of the corner of my eye over by the window. It was still raining and still pretty dark out; though it should have been daylight by now. I snapped my head around to see what had caught my eye but there was nothing there. I guessed it had been lighting or maybe something blew past and that quickly I forgot about it as my backside made contact with my mattress and it gave a crinkle as it took my weight.
Dad had deposited me so that I was sitting on the edge of my bed with my feet on the floor. Mom was still wiping my floor and grumbling for dad to go change. I thought for a second or two that she was going to follow him out of my room, wiping up behind him but instead she only wiped off my floor up to the door before getting up and tossing the towel into my laundry basket.
I was still sitting on the edge of my bed wrapped in my towel. My hands were folded in my lap as I sat looking vulnerable and moist. Mom smiled and said, “You look adorable sitting there with your hair all messy like that.”
I blushed slightly and looked down at my toes on the floor before speaking, “Can I get on my computer today?”
“You think you can sit in your computer chair?” she asked.
“Well I’m sitting up here and it doesn’t hurt?” I answered.
“Okay, but I think we should get something else on you other then that wet towel.” She said leaning over and kissing the top of my head before placing a finger under my chin and lifting my face up. “Your eye looks really good today, a bit red though.”
“I’d got shampoo in it.” I said before asking, “You going to put more of that nasty smelling stuff on me?”
She let go of my chin with a coy smile and said, “I think so.” I groaned.
She went to my dresser, opened the third drawer from the top and pulled out a pair of sweatpants I’d not seen before. “I bought these for you while you were in the hospital. I thought they would make it easier for you until you are feeling better.”
She held them up for me to see. They were navy blue with three white stripes going down the sides with silver snaps. That was when I realized they were breakaway pants like NBA players wear. They unfasten on the sides for quick removal.
“Wow I like those!” I said as she held them out for me to touch. They were soft, very soft like teddy bear soft.
“I know you don’t like zip-up shirts but I got one that matches these just in case you like them.” She added.
“Yea I do like them, they are so soft.” I said rubbing one of the pant legs against my cheek.
She dropped the pants down over my head before returning to the same drawer and pulling out the matching sweatshirt. I pulled the pants off my head and jokingly said, “Hey!” Mom just gave me a smile.
She was right, the shirt had a zippered front but it wasn’t zippered all the way; only about six inches down from the neck for bigheaded people, I guess.
I sat the pants on my bed and let my towel open and fall off my chest. My boyhood parts were still covered but this way I could try the shirt on right away.
“You’re tape is coming loose.” Mom pointed out.
I looked down and sure enough, two bits of the tape that was around my chest had come loose. I was trying to get them to stick again when mom said, “Not to worry, that nice nurse . . . what was here name?”
“Gabby?” I offered.
“Yes that’s the one! She gave us more tape.” She was out of the room before I could say anything else and back again in a jiffy. In her hands were a roll of the same medical tape I was currently wrapped in and a pair of silver medical looking scissors like I’d seen in the hospital.
“You going to put some on over this or take this off?” I asked and my voice quivered when I said the word – off.
“I think we can just add some to hold you together for now. I think we’ll let the doctor worry about changing it later.” It sounded like she was asking my permission more then telling me what we were going to do.
“I like that idea better.” I said sounding quite relieved. The idea of having the tape pulled off my skin was not something I was even remotely ready for today.
Mom put fresh tape over the loose areas as well as wrapping a couple new bands around the lower area where it looked to be rolling up at the edges just above my tummy from me sitting up I guessed.
Once she had me securely taped up again she helped me put on the shirt which proved to be harder then I thought it would be. Putting my arms up in the air stretches out my ribs and really hurts a lot but we got it on. It was so warm and comfy like a nice warm blanket. But the warm feeling didn’t last long when my eyes met hers. She squatted down in front of me, placed both her hands on my towel covered knees and said, “Don’t you think we should keep using the diapers for a while. I mean just until you are able to move and take care of things on your own again?”
My heart sank at the thought of having to have my mom see me naked on a regular basis for who knows how long. But at the same time, somewhere way in the back of my brain I was thinking off all those stories I’d read online about boys being put back into diapers by there mom’s and it kind of excited me as much as it scared me.
I heard myself pleading, “Can’t I just use the Goodnites?”
“I’m not sure they are going to do so well with the messes?” she said and I knew what she meant by messes. I could just envision pooping in a Goodnite and having it ooze out the leg openings and getting all over my clothes and bedding. My chin dropped to my chest as I realized my fate for the next weeks or two or maybe more.
Mom gave my cheek a pat with her hand before she stood up and went to my dresser where she opened the drawer second from the top where my pullover shirts usually were. When her hand came back out I saw she was holding a while disposable diaper and I realized that either while I slept last night or maybe while I was in the shower this morning she’d come in and reorganized my dresser to make room for the diapers.
As she came back over to me my chin again fell to my chest. Despite or maybe because of the inner struggle I was having, I felt my eyes beginning to water. Mom must have sensed it because she knelt down in front of me and wrapped her arms around me so very gently so as to not hurt my ribs. I let my head fall to her shoulder and buried my face in her neck as I began to weep softly.
Mom held me like that for a good ten minutes. It was the first time in a very long time that she’d just held me. Neither of us said anything and it wasn’t until I realized I smelled something burning that I lifted my head off her.
“What’s that smell?” I asked.
“I’d guess that your father is making breakfast.” Mom said anxiously with a vaguely worried look on her face. When dad cooked that usually meant a very big mess in the kitchen and seeing how mom’s such a neat freak, having dad in her kitchen again without her supervision was probably driving her nuts.
Mom looked toward my door and while smiling at her I said, “I will wait here for you.”
She smiled back, set the diaper on the bed next to me and shot out of my room and down the hall. An instant later I heard her squeal, “Honey how’d you get it on the ceiling?” and I couldn’t help but laugh though it pained me to do so.
So there I was, sitting with a nice warm shirt on, a somewhat wet towel wrapped around my lower half, a fresh diaper laying on the bed next to me while I listened to the clanking of pots and pans and the occasional squeals and shrieks from mom. I could tell by the sound of her voice that she wasn’t mad, just very annoyed. I reached over to my bedside table and grabbed up the remote to the TV. I figured I’d see what was on and maybe catch some early morning news to see if there was anything new about the robberies.
Unfortunately, there was news about the latest robbery. The lady news reporter said that the second shooting victim died during the night at Saint Vincent’s Hospital from complications during surgery. The report went on for a bit after that but I wasn’t really listening anymore. All my fears had come back again and there was this voice inside my head that was screaming at me to call the police and spill my guts out to them.
I was nearing the point of a total breakdown when a new feeling came over me; I felt like someone was watching me. I turned my head toward the door expecting to see dad or mom but no one was there. I looked toward my window, it was still dark and raining but I saw no one there either. I wanted to get up and go to the window but I was not sure I should try that on my own yet. I continued to watch the window right up until dad spoke and scared me so bad I nearly passed out from the pain caused when my whole body jerked back around.
“Effing hell!” I cried out, except I had said the real thing while I was leaning forward on my hands and knees on the floor with dad leaning over me.
“HONEY!” Dad shouted through the house to mom who appeared in my room like magic. Well actually I could only see her from the knees down so I assumed the rest of her came along with her feet.
Dad was going on and on about how sorry he was for scaring me so bad. I was biting into my bottom lip about as hard as I could as my tears splashed onto the floor. The scare was so bad that it had triggered my first asthma attack since Peter had broken my ribs. Mom had retrieved one of my inhalers with the speed only a mother has and was trying to get me to open my mouth and use it but I was too busy bearing down on my lower lip.
“SIMON, TAKE YOUR INHALER!” Dad shouted at me and popped me on the back of the head with his hand to get my attention.
I opened my mouth finally and sucked in three full blast of the inhaler before letting it drop to the floor. My head dropped so that I was looking between my arms and down my chest. I realized my towel had come off and that I was fully exposed from the waist down. Regrettably, I was not in a condition to do anything about it just then. My elbows were locked straight, my back was arched like a witches cat and my toes were curled so tightly they ached.
“Breathe, honey!” mom said in her motherly tone. I didn’t, instead I clinched my teeth together and lifted my head again. Dad promptly popped me on the back of my head a second time and without a voice command from him I exhaled and then took in a shallow breath, then another and another, deeper each time. My elbows became unlocked and caused my arms to wobble.
Dad stood up and straddled my back. For half a second I honestly thought he was going to try to ride me like a wild horse but instead he reached and grabbed me under my armpits and pulled me back up so that I was now sitting on my feet in a sort of kneeling position with my arms still extended out in front of me with mom holding both my hands.
“What happened?” mom asked and I didn’t know if she was asking me or dad but it was all I could do to breathe at the moment so I didn’t even bother to attempt to speak again.
“I came in and accidentally startled him. He jumped and fell forward off the bed.” Dad answered.
“I’m okay.” I finally spoke as I took another breath.
Mom sort of half smiled and bobbed her head from side to side as she said, “Well you nearly scared the life right out of me! I dropped the whole carton of eggs on the kitchen floor.”
I started to chuckle at that but stopped at the first twinge of pain. Dad still had a hold of me by my armpits, which was starting to hurt more then my ribs did. “Dad you’re hurting me.” I said breathily as I tried to shrug my shoulders as a sigh for him to loosen his grip but when I did that there was an audible deep popping sound from within my chest a little below my left nipple. The three of us froze as if time had stopped. Mom had her eyes locked onto mine and for what seemed like several minutes but was probably only several seconds none of us did anything until I let out a small squeak and then let out what air was still in my lungs.
“You all right?” dad asked sounding very scared.
“Ah, um I think so.” I answered back. I still wasn’t moving but I was breathing slowly and shallowly at first.
“It doesn’t hurt?” I softly said more like I was asking myself a question.
“What?” mom asked.
“My ribs, they . . .” I took a slightly deeper breath, “they don’t hurt!” I said with more confidence this time.
I felt dad’s grip on my armpits and shirt loosen as he let my shoulders come back down. “Don’t move!” dad said now pulling his hands away completely. Mom conversely was gripping my hands so tightly my fingers were turning white.
Dad’s command not to move was really unneeded. I had absolutely no intention of moving, not even a fraction of an inch. For the first time in days my chest wasn’t shooting messages of pain to my brain for whatever reason and I didn’t want to do anything just yet to reconnect that message line.
Dad moved around in front of me after getting mom to relinquish her death grip on my poor hands. He knelt down in front of me, slowly lifted my arms to place my hands behind his neck. Without being told I locked my fingers together.
“I’m going to hold you by your hips and I want you to stand up with me okay?” dad said looking directly into my eyes. I’d never noticed before how much of my father I could see just by looking into his eyes.
“Ready? Here we go.” he said and the two of us raised off the floor and to our feet in a smooth motion without the slightest pain from my chest, though my legs did protest a bit as did my knees. I supposed my knees hurt from falling forward and landing on them first before reaching out with my hands to catch myself from falling right onto my chest. I can only imagine how much that would have hurt had I not caught myself.
“Keep breathing please!” mom said in a singsong voice and I turned my head to see that her face was nearly as close to mine as dads was. I took another breath.
“Still doing okay?” dad asked. I looked back up into his eyes again.
I shook my head up and down, “Yea, still feels okay.” I said not sure I believed it.
“Good, then what say we get you laying down again?” dad asked with a smirk.
I nodded again.
“You are right at the side of your bed, so just sit down. Alright?” dad instructed and for the first time I realized I could smell the toothpaste on his breath. I wondered to myself how my own breath must smell to him since I’d not brushed them in a while.
As I was going down I did feel just the tiniest of pain but not so very bad really. Mom had picked up the towel and once I was all the way down draped it over my lap for me.
“You still doing okay?” dad asked now that I was sitting back on my bed.
“Yea” I said yet surprised at how much I wasn’t hurting.
“Good! Then do you want to let go of my neck before you break it?” dad said smiling and I realized I was cling to the back of his neck so tightly my fingertips were white. When I let go he took hold of my forearms and lowered them to my lap nice and slow.
“Tell ya what,” dad said looking past his shoulder at mom and then back at me, “What do you say we not do that again?”
I took a fairly deep breath, felt another small twinge and said as I let it out, “Yea, that was enough fun for a while.” Dad then reached out and wiped the tears from my face for me.
Mom had put her hands on her hips as if to protest the fact that dad and I were obviously not taking this whole matter seriously enough. Once dad had helped me to lie back down and had swung my legs up onto the bed for me mom took over my care.
With a look of mild disgust she told dad, “You can go clean up the eggs in the kitchen!” to which dad just shrugged and walked out.
Mom didn’t say anything else as she pulled the diaper out from under my right shoulder from where she’d left it before running off to see what dad was doing to her kitchen. Without removing the towel she lifted my right leg and slid the diaper under me, and then lowering my leg back down to the bed. She didn’t take the towel away until she was ready to pull the front of the diaper up into place and she did that quickly. I’d had my eyes closed the entire time she was re-diapering me, which helped me to disconnect myself for the moment.
After she had the diaper snugly into place she went ahead and put the new pants on me too by first opening all the side snaps and again lifting my leg enough to slip them under my now diapered bottom. It was then just so simple for her to pull them over the front of my diaper and re-snap them down the outside of both of my legs.
Before leaving me to go salvage breakfast she pulled my covers up over my feet to keep them warm and zipped my shirt up to my chin. Once she had left I pulled the zipper back down and stared at the ceiling as I concentrated on my breathing and the lack of pain I was feeling.
Eventually mom came back in carrying the eye ointment in one had and my sipper cup in the other. As she set the cup down on my bedside table she said, “Well we’re out of eggs now!” I couldn’t help but giggle as she sat down on the edge of my bed, “So what would you like for breakfast then?”
While she was squeezing the cream out onto her finger I said, “Pop Tarts would be good.”
“Okay! Sure,” she said and from the sound of her voice I guessed she was relieved that she wasn’t going to have to cook anything. I was going to ask if I could have them toasted hot but I decided I would just wait and take them anyway she brought them to me.
With my eye now stinking up my room and mom out getting my Pop Tarts I slowly reached my arms up to my head and attempted to readjust my pillow. While I was doing this that same feeling came over me that I was being watched. This time, however, I chose not to do anything that would reveal my awareness to my surroundings. I went ahead and fiddled with my pillow before lowering my arms back down and resting them on either side of me. I still had my face pointed toward the ceiling just as I had been doing but I allowed my eyes to pear around my room, first at my door that was open and then to my closet which was closed tight. My eyes tracked around my room and over to my window. It was still raining but with my head lying in the position it was in I couldn’t see the lower window sash. I let my head roll to the side, reached out for my sipper cup, I then tilted my chin down just enough to allow me to look past my cup but not so much that it would appear that I was looking.
Sure enough down in the lower left corner of my window I saw the silhouette of half a head. I couldn’t see any distinguishing features but I could tell that it was a head for sure. I turned my head slightly as though I was now watching the TV that was still on. There was some morning show on with two ladies and a man talking about some New York party they had attended the previous evening. Still faking like I was watching the TV and drinking from my sipper cup I continued to watch the figure peering through my window.
My heart was beating so hard that I was able to see my shirt moving over my heart. I went a head and took a swig from my sipper cup and then took my eyes off the window long enough to put the cup back on my table. When I looked back the head was gone, a second later dad came in with a plate containing my Pop Tarts and of course they were toasted warm. He sat the plate on my little night table and asked, “Do you want to try sitting up?”
I nodded and said, “Yea”.
He bend over me and with his ear no more then six inches from my mouth I whispered as he reached his hands into my armpits and around to my back, “Dad don’t look but someone has been looking in my window.”
He paused, looked me directly in the eye and saw that I was seriously scared. Instead of helping me to sit all the way up he only lifted me and slid my pillow out and returned it folded in half so that I was half laying and half leaning up. As he was lowering me back down on my pillow he whispered back, “Don’t look at the window, just act like you are watching TV and eating your breakfast. And then sitting the plate over my diapered boyhood parts he stood up and walked out of the room as though nothing was different.
I did just as dad asked and continued watching the TV or at least acting like I was while I kept looking out the corner of my eye toward the window. A few minutes later the head slowly came back into view. I so badly wished the storm would break for even a second to let the sun shine down or even for a flash of lightning so that I might see who it was even though inside I already knew who it was.
It wasn’t maybe another three minutes before I saw the owner of the silhouetted head spin around and take off. I then heard sirens and saw the flashing blue and red lights shining though my window. I knew dad had called the police and I listened to the siren as it went past our house and down our street. From the sound of it I guessed it had turned and headed toward to school.
Mom had come into my room and was closing my curtains over my window so that no one could look in again. She then told me that it was who I had already guessed it to be; Peter Alderman had not gone south as they thought. I couldn’t help but wonder how long he had been there under my window? Was he there all night? Maybe longer?
It was a good hour before I heard the doorbell right. Before that dad had returned and helped me to sit all the way up in bed and both he and mom tried to assure me that I was okay and safe. Really I wasn’t scared for me more then I was scared for mom and dad. I already knew what Peter was capable of doing to me but I didn’t know just what he might try to do to them to get to me.
As I had hoped it was my own personal Amazonian Police Officer that had come to tell us that they had recaptured Peter and that he was on his way to the police station as we spoke. I know mom and dad were both relieved but I was still a bit concerned.
“What’s to keep him from coming back again?” I finally asked.
“Baby! That boy is going away for a long time! If I have anything to say about it, he’s not going to see the light of day until he’s an old man!” the lady office said waving her red painted nails in the air symbolically as if she was throwing Peter far away. Even with her assurances I wasn’t feeling all that confident but I tried not to show it.
Before she left she leaned over the top of my headboard, took hold of my head with both of her hands and pulled my face up to hers, “You don’t go worrying about him, okay? I got his number now! You understand me?” she was trying to look stern but not pulling it off so well.
“Yes ma’am!” I answered back at her and she kissed me right between the eyes.
“Oh baby that’s some mean medicine they been putting on you!” she said wrinkling up her nose and screwing up here face.
“Yea, pretty bad stuff, huh?” I said with her still clutching my face. She gave me a little tap on the good side of my face before letting go of me finally.
“Thank you so much!” mom said as they left. I heard a fourth voice as they were leaving. It was a mans’ voice and I guessed it to be another police officer that must have been standing out in the hallway where I couldn’t see him. Dad gave my shoulder a pat and smiled at me as he followed them out.
I sat alone again thinking about Peter. I couldn’t help but wonder if he’d come back to finish me off or if he had come for some other unknown reason. A part of me wishes I could talk to him and explain that it wasn’t me that did the pictures but I know that will never happen.
Once the officers were gone again mom came back to check on me. I told her I didn’t want my Pop Tarts anymore but she left them next to my bed just in case I wanted them later. She handed me my e-book Aunt Catharine had given me as an early birthday present. As she was handing it too me she said, “I feel better about having your birthday party on Sunday now that I know that boy is locked away for good!” and the way she said, “that boy” spoke volumes to just how much she detested Peter for what he did to me and how violated she felt having him around here and peeking through our windows. Not until later that day when I had gone out of my room did I see that she’d gone through and closed every curtain in the house and had every outside light turned on.
I couldn’t believe so much had happened this morning and it was still so early. I think I dozed off for an hour or so while watching an old episode of the Hollywood Squares game show on the Retro-Cable channel while I was doing some journaling.
I didn’t sleep long but I was out long enough to dream again and this time I dreamt that Peter, Max, Steven, Johnny, Bull, Tater, Runt, Two-Toe’s, Bull’s dad and myself were all in a big dungeon type cell all chained together and we were using little tiny hammers to pound away at this huge bolder in the middle of our cell while these ugly three horned brown Trolls stood naked on a catwalk overhead and whipped each of us with these long blue-glowing whips. It was a weird dream but when I awoke from it I realized I had to do something.
I decided I was going to try to call Bull at home until it dawned on me that he was probably already at school. Even so I didn’t want to wait all day to talk with him; I simply didn’t know what I was going to do just yet . . .