The Story of David Mayter (2004)
Entry 10: The Emotional Rollercoaster Ride
---
“I had a hard time sleeping yesterday, after I had
dreamt that nightmare. I just couldn’t get it out of my head. But the sleep
after that wasn’t great… but it’s nothing worth talking about. Anyways, the
dream got me really thinking about Will again... his birthday is getting
closer…”
---
David looked at the calendar,
above his computer. He was checking the date, and was counting how many days
were left until William’s birthday. The number was eerily small… David hated
William’s birthday, ever since William passed away. It was always extremely
emotional, for obvious reasons. But this time it was going to be different…
Sven, Jason, and David were all enemies this time… not friends. Each birthday,
they would get together somewhere, talk about him… and remember him. But that
wouldn’t be happening this year. David wished it wouldn’t be that way… but it
had to be. He was much, much too angry too angry at Jason and Sven to try hanging
out with them again, and he knew at least Sven was too close-minded to push
their differences aside for one day…
“David!” he heard all of the
sudden, breaking his train of thought. He turned quickly, and faced his mom,
who was kneeling down, collecting the glass shards off of the floor.
“Yeah mom?” he asked.
“I need a paper and plastic
bag… get them” she ordered. She was obviously angry that he had broken the
mirror… with his fist.
He obeyed, and walked out of
the room, walking towards the kitchen. He collected the bags, and walked back
into his room, handing the bags to his mother.
“Thanks” she said, and began
to place the shards into the paper bag.
“So David, do you know where
this Ryan kid lives?” she asked.
“Nope” he said.
His mother sighed… “Well… if
you ever see him or whoever was with him, tell him that I would REALLY like to
talk to them” she said in an angry tone of voice.
“I’ll be sure to” he
responded.
”Hey mom… I’m going to take a shower” David said.
“Okay, I recommend that you
do, while I clean up here.” His mom responded.
“Alright” David finished, as
he spun around, and began to walk into the bathroom.
He shut the bathroom door
behind him, and sighed. He started the water, and undressed. As the water
warmed up, he turned and faced himself in the bathroom mirror, and took a look
at what Ryan and his friends had done. His face was a bit bruise along his jaw
line, dirt and traces of blood covered all over his face… he looked like a
wreck. He shut his eyes, and sighed once more, turning around to get into the
shower…
There was a nice state of
relaxation as David entered the shower, letting the hot water run through his
hair, down his back, and down his legs. He winced a bit as the hot water ran
through his some of the cuts along his body, but from what he’s been through so
far… it really wasn’t anything.
---
David walked into his room,
with a small smirk on his face and a towel wrapped around his body. He dropped
the towel, and opened his closet, dug through a box, and pulled out a diaper,
and slipped it on. Now in a diaper, he dug through his dresser, and put on some
clothes, and walked outside, into the hallway. He was almost to the kitchen
when…
“Hey David, Jason called for
you” he heard his mother yell from somewhere in the house.
David’s eyes narrowed quite a
bit, and a lot of the rage that was lost in the shower, came back…
“Did he say what he wanted?”
he asked.
“No, but he did say that it
was really important for you to call him back” he heard her say.
David was kind of curious
about what he wanted… but at the same time, he couldn’t care less. But he
shrugged…
”Alright, thanks” he yelled back to his mother.
He walked back into his room,
and picked up the phone, dialing Jason’s number, and put the phone up to his
ear…
“Hello?” he heard Jason say.
“What did you want?” David
rudely and assertively asked.
“Dude, David” Jason said,
instantly getting into a serious toned voice.
“What” David asked, still not
wasting time.
“Dude, I’m sorry about
yesterday” Jason said.
“Uh huh, yeah, what do you
want?” David said, practically ignoring what Jason had said.
“C’mon dude… I said I was –“
Jason began to say, but was cut off by David:
”Is that all you wanted?” David rudely interrupted.
“Can you blame me? I mean,
they were much bigger than both of us combined!” Jason spat out.
“…you… you IDIOT.” David
yelled.
“Yeah, I’m mad at you because
you didn’t back me up. Back me up on WHAT? You made me get my ass kicked by a
group of people, for an action that I didn’t even do!” David yelled.
“I know, and I’m sorry…”
Jason said.
“Whatever dude, I’m busy.”
David angrily said.
“…okay” Jason said quietly.
“Bye” David said, hanging up
the phone without letting Jason said bye back.
After hanging up the phone,
David plopped down in his computer chair…
---
“Hey” David typed into a chat
window.
“Hey man” ‘PaciMat667’ typed
back.
“What’s up?” David asked.
“Nothing man… just sitting
around, sucking on a pacifier =D” ‘PaciMat667’ said.
“Meh… I’m so mad dude, I
can’t even put it into words” David explained.
“Oh? Why, what’s up?”
‘PaciMat667’ asked.
”Oh God man… its unbelievable man…truly unbelievable…” David said.
“Want to talk about it?”
‘PaciMat667’ asked politely.
“…yeah… yeah I guess I
should. It’s not always good to keep emotions bottled. I need a second opinion
on this” David admitted.
“Alright man, I’m here for
you, go ahead” ‘PaciMat667’ courteously said.
“Alright, well…” David began
to explain to his online friend. You see, ‘PaciMat667’ wasn’t just an online
friend… he wasn’t just a screen name, or just another teen baby to David. David
and ‘PaciMat667’ have been talking for a long, long time.
Ever since David became a
teen baby, actually. He was the first person he began talking to about it… and
ever since then was the best person to talk about it. And over time, they
didn’t just start talking about diapers, or pacifiers, or baby bottles, or
fantasies… they created an actual personal friendship. They knew each other
better than their parents knew them, more than their best friends knew them. If
David continued to go through with ending his lifestyle as a teen baby, he
would still be talking to him, that’s one thing that’s for sure.
“…and now I’m sitting here,
talking to you” David finished.
“Dude, that’s messed up”
‘PaciMat667’ said.
“Yeah” David agreed.
“…so you’re really giving up
on being a teen baby?” Mat asked.
“Yeah… I think I really am.
But I’m not sure… I mean, it really is what ruined my life.” David explained.
“This may be true… but it is
also kind of what made it better…” Mat said.
“How so…?” David asked.
“Well… think of it this way.
You were born bladder incontinent, which is never fun. And for the first 12
years of your life, you grew up with no one else with the same situation, with
the same desires, with the same hates. You may have thought that there was only
a few other kids like you, but were around the world, for you to never meet.
But when you discovered the whole TB/DL lifestyle... you found that there were
in fact other kids like you, lot’s of them. You discovered that you were not
alone… that there were other kids who had the same disabilities. Now, imagine
what would have happened if you haven’t found us… imagine that you never saw
any website, or any pictures, or read any stories, or wrote any stories. I
might be wrong, but I’m probably right in saying that you would have never
found another kid wearing diapers, and you would feel really, really lonely
right about now…” Mat beautifully explained.
David was shocked… he was
stunned by these words. Because deep down inside… behind the anger and blind
rage… David knew that Mat was right.
“...you know something…
you’re kind of right. But that doesn’t… that only tells half the story” David
said.
“This is true… now imagine
that you never became a teen baby. No, you probably wouldn’t be in this very
hectic situation, but believe me when I tell you that me and you would have
never met. That you and… Will… would have never gotten so close as friends.
You’d have never made a single story, and wouldn’t know to your fullest
knowledge that you are indeed an incredible writer. You would probably have
knowledge that you aren’t alone in being incontinent, but you probably wouldn’t
have turned your diapers into anything fun, like you have by being a teen baby.
Dave I’m telling you, shit happens. Take a little chunk of the Butterfly
Effect for example… the littlest things make the biggest differences
somewhere else… and those little things are not always good. But you have to
look at the bright side, that there is one.” Mat continued.
“What Brightside?” David
asked seriously. “My best friend is dead, my other best friend I hate and hates
me because of something I can’t help, and I hate Jason because he stabbed me in
the back, after Sven did in the first place.” David retorted.
“Aw crap dude, I’m really,
really sorry, but I have to go. My parents are home” Mat said.
“…okay. Hey…. Thanks for the
talk” David said.
“Hey man, no problem…” Mat
said, then logging off.
David sighed, standing up
from his chair. He looked at the calendar once again to see how many days left
until his birthday… and it was getting close. He was also thinking about what
Mat had just said to him… because what he said kind of chilled him to the bone.
It was all true. He WOULD be depressed if he had never found out there was more
people like him, he WOULD be depressed if he found his diapers as form of
aggravation, instead of a form of recreation, him and Will wouldn’t have gotten
as close as they did, he’d have never met Mat, he’d have never found that his
writing was a form of venting for him, and that he was truly skilled in that
form of art….
---
“So that was my day… nothing too exciting... just an
emotional rollercoaster ride. I don’t know what to think, or what to do. We’ve
got Ryan and his friends hating me, more than ever… we’ve got Sven probably
telling anyone he can about me wearing diapers, I have no friends, I have no
life anymore… I just don’t know what to do. I’m depressed… This is kind of
funny… in a strange way. Because I was always the loner when I was littler. In
school, I’d be that quiet kid in the corner who, no one knew about, and so,
they wouldn’t acknowledge. I had no friends, and was getting pretty miserable.
But according to the way things have turned out now, that’s the happiest I’d
been in a while. Man… I just thought. Since Will’s birthday is coming soon… and
his story is almost complete… I guess I really should finish it, just to show
my respect for him. I’d kind of bring him back to life in a strange way… if you
think about it...”