FARSIGHT

By: Slang of Euphoric Rush

Author’s Note: Welcome back Michael Berg. This is it, the biggest chapter to date. Not in length, but in meaning to the story, and though I would say the same about most installments upon there release, this is truly the pinnacle of importance. The reason being is that almost every time that you, Michael Berg, would e-mail me, you would ask about or request that a certain event that takes place. I don’t want to spoil anything, but that very thing happens in this chapter. Bonus points if you can guess what it is. In a related note, I would like to remind you, Michael Berg that I appreciate any comments, criticisms, questions or suggestions at [email protected]. Every writer likes to hear even the grimmest of comments on their work, and I love to hear from you Michael Berg. So if you haven’t sent in before, I implore you to do so, especially for the questions or suggestions; they make me think about my work which usually leads to some improvement on it. Again, thank you for the time you have invested in Farsight and I hope you enjoy this chapter as well as the rest. Until whenever when next is, live well Michael Berg.

Step into a modern scene
Take a chance of that
Which seems to be
The making of a dream

I am a misfit
I'm born with all of it
The fucking ultimate
Of love inside the atom split

-Anthony Kiedis

Chapter Six: This Is the Place

What is Karma? An invisible force that drives the world around us, acting as the hand of natural order, or perhaps a balance in everybody’s soul; rewarding the good and punishing the wrong? Is it the primary concept of a pagan religion or a right to any human when they needed something to blame their bad luck on or thank when something went well for them? We’re all entitled to its awesome power or just a select few who were most deserving? Jake didn’t know, but he was pretty sure that it was hard to come by in Chicago.

Again his Socials class sat in their zombie-like state, staring at the droning television screen. The recorded news from the previous night was the showcase, with the intention of the viewing to display the nation’s most current affairs to the students. But there was no need to report this particular news clip, being that it was common knowledge to anybody who didn’t live under a rock. It had gone from a small time reporting to the biggest story in the country. The subject was tragic, and certainly worth noting, but the kids didn’t seem to care. Nonetheless, the reporter drawled on relentlessly.

“It was only last week that young Coby Pierce was acclaimed as one the countries youngest heroes.” the reporter continued, “However, a travesty has ravaged our great nation. As reported late yesterday evening, Coby was kidnapped sometime yesterday afternoon. The young man recently assisted in stopping a school shooting, and authorities believe that these incidents are related. There were no witnesses to the crime, but last night a local radio station in Colorado which was covering the event received a unanimous phone call on a talk show in which an unidentified person claimed that Coby was with them and there would be no harm done against him. They added that no ransom was wanted as they had no intention of releasing the boy and that any interjection into the matter by the authorities would only damage the situation. Naturally, the boy’s foster family is shaken up and has declined an interview. We wish them the best in this time of distress and we request that you keep young Coby Pierce in all your thoughts and prayers. More on this at 11:00.”

There was something about this situation that deeply disturbed Jake. Maybe it was because Coby bore a strange resemblance to himself, or maybe it was just the strange circumstances. He wasn’t entirely certain, but as it was bothering him he attempted to put it out of his head. The video played on for mere seconds before the end-of-day bell rang out and the children were dismissed. Jake collected his supplies off the desk and walked out of the dim classroom.

“So, what do ya think?” Robbie asked as the students poured into the bright hallways. The light stung the pupil’s pupils.

“I don’t know man.” Jake replied as he winced, “That’s kinda messed up. Like, the phone call saying they didn’t want ransom and that they weren’t gonna let the kid go. That’s just really twisted.”

“Not that kid dummy.” Robbie laughed as he slapped Jake upside his head, “I mean about the diaper thing!”

“Quiet down would ya!” Jake yelled at his friend as he checked to make sure that nobody was listening to their conversation.

“Whatever dude.” Robbie shrugged. “It’s your ‘big first shoot’ today, you should be excited!”

“Hard to be excited when I don’t have any clue what to expect.” Jake added.

“Well, you did have to wear the things for the first few years of your life.” Robbie stated matter-of-factly, “Besides, don’t you find the mystery exciting? I’d have thought that you’d get a rush out of it.”

“You get a rush out doing something epic.” Jake corrected him, “This is more of a ‘butterflies-in-your-stomach’ feeling.”

“Same thing, different name.” said Robbie.

“No way!” Jake returned “It’s gonna be freakin’ embarrassing to have some guys I just met taking pictures of me in just a diaper. Anyway, how did you feel you first time?”

“Actually, I was really into it.” Robbie answered. “And if you’re so nervous why are ya doing it?”

Jake didn’t have an immediate answer. It wasn’t for the money, though that was a bonus. He couldn’t say he was doing it just to fit in. The few reasons he had where either awkwardly inexpressible or hidden so deep inside his subconscious that it would take Freud to unearth them, and even he would probably get it wrong. Many of the reasons he had used to convince himself to do it when the offer was proposed to him seemed increasingly less logical. Jake struggled for a quick answer to appease Robbie.

“Because,” Jake answered, “I’m just that cool.”

Robbie laughed as the two of them exited the school and began their ride to the docks. Their skateboards rattled on the chipped sidewalks as they maneuvered through their classmates who were on their way home. Aggravated glares followed the boys as they cut them off, but most skateboarders were accustomed to such treatment. The sun was bombarding their exposed skin with its burning bullets, which stained their skins with a blood red burn which they hoped would mature into a tan. Jake’s mind raced along with the wheels as they neared their destination. He was nauseously apprehensive. The thought of his diapered body being thrown on to the internet for the entire planet to see was an uncomfortable one. Uncertainty plagued him and he doubted his decision making abilities. But he had made a commitment and he wasn’t willing to back out. Jake knew that Robbie would be disappointed if he declined from his new ‘job’. His friend was so glad to have him there. When he had told Robbie that he was going to join their diaper group Robbie was overcome with disbelief. The last thing Robbie had expected was for Jake to accept his strange lifestyle, which had he had kept a secret for the entirety of their friendship. Josh, on the other hand, seemed less than thrilled to have his younger cousin posing for Lou’s group. He hadn’t openly stated this, but their relationship hadn’t improved over the past few days like Jake had expected it to with everything in the open. Jake hoped that after he actually started getting into it (assuming he did) that he and Josh would make up and things would return to the way they were. But that brought up another issue: what if Jake hated wearing the diapers? That would certainly confudle things to a further extent. In truth, he had no idea what was going to happen, but he was hoping for the best. Jake had jumped into the deep end, and he was completely unprepared for the impact.

The only thing allowed Robbie to recognize his surroundings upon his awaking was the smell, which was a combination of old pizza and alcohol. A heavy layer of dust shrouded everything in the room. This was his brother’s apartment, one of eight which were stacked on the pool house where he worked. Currently, however, this was Robbie’s place of residence; at least it was for spring break. The dingy abode, though grimy and unkempt, was comfortable for a boy of twelve years, who could really care less about the state of cleanliness. Still half-asleep, it took Robbie a minute or two to notice that the couch he was resting on was wet with his own urine. He groaned as he pulled himself up into a sitting position. He hated it when he wet the bed, or in this case couch.

Robbie wondered how angry Tyson would be. His older brother was aware that he had a problem with nocturnal incontinence, but he had never had an accident at Tyson’s apartment either. It was actually the first time Robbie had been permitted to spend an extended period of time with him. His parents were at some couples spa for a week, and they had left him in the care or their other son, a strange decision considering their strained relationship with him. Tyson had long been estranged from his parents, and he had only agreed to watch his brother on the condition that it was at his place, as he refused to stay at their home. Robbie wished that he was at home. That way, he would have wet his own bed and it wouldn’t have been a big deal, but this was Tyson’s couch and he was ashamed at would he had done to it. To make matters worse, Tyson entered the small living room.

“Dude, would you get up!” Tyson laughed as he stepped over one of the many articles of clothing scattered across the floor. “It’s like twelve-o’clock. You’re gonna fuck up your sleep cycle.”

Robbie stared up at his older sibling with worried eyes that exposed his guilt.

“I, uh, had an, um, accident.” Robbie stammered.

“Oh!” Tyson said taken aback, “Well, um, don’t worry about it, okay? Just go shower or whatever.”

“You’re not pissed off?” Robbie asked in relief.

“Nice terminology.” Tyson said before adding, “No, I‘m not angry. It’s not like you can help it.”

Robbie tried to smile. He was sure that that last remark had been intended to make him feel better, but all it did was make him feel even more like a baby. He made his way to the bathroom and stripped off his soaked boxers as well as his shirt. Judging by the state of his brother’s clothes, which were unwashed and spread around the apartment, he doubted whether his would be cleaned before he went home in seven days. He climbed into the tiny shower and let the cold water cleanse his body. Fortunately, he liked cold showers as that was the only temperature of water in the facility. It took a while to wash the pee from his groin but even longer to wash his growing hair, which was shoulder length when it wasn’t tied back into a ponytail. He’d started growing it out about a year before, the reason being his desire to look like the professional wrestler Rob Van Dam, who was also Robbie’s idol. Originally, Robbie had only been interested because he and the sports entertainer shared the same name, but he had since modeled his extreme lifestyle and appearance after him. Robbie wanted to be a wrestler when he grew up. If he grew up, he corrected himself. With all this bed wetting he was acting quite childish.

Robbie left the bathroom ten minutes later, naked except for the towel that was wrapped around his waist. He had forgotten to grab a new set of clothes beforehand. His partial nudity proved to be embarrassing when he walked past the kitchen and found his brother sitting with his girlfriend, Anna, who had probably just arrived. He immediately flushed a deep shade of crimson and Anna laughed.

“Don’t worry,” she said, “I’ve got a little brother too, and it’s not like I haven’t seen I guy without a shirt on before.”

“As long as I’m the only one you’ve seen, Tyson interjected as Robbie quickly proceeded to the living room and got dressed.

When he returned to the kitchen there were two poorly made waffles on a plate awaiting him. Robbie was amazed that anybody could screw up at making waffles, especially since they were the pre-made Eggos. Between bites he noticed that Tyson and Anna were exchanging shifty glances. Something was going on.

“What?” Robbie asked nervously.

“We want to ask ya something.” Tyson began cautiously.

“If its consent to marriage you want then knock yourselves out.” Robbie said flatly. Occasionally has sarcasm could be more clever than irritating.

“Before you say no, just think about, okay?” Anna continued.

“Um… sure.” Robbie agreed nervously. He was skeptical of what would be asked of him.

“Well,” Anna went on, “My little brother used to, um, wet the bed, and he wore, um, stuff so that it wouldn’t be as big a problem.”

Robbie’s first impulse was to feel betrayed. Tyson had told her about his accidents. But he soon reasoned with himself. The living room was the central part of the apartment and the smell of pee could hang around. That and the fact that he was staying their probably painted the picture perfectly.

“What kind of ‘stuff’?” Robbie questioned in an annoyed tone, “You mean like diapers?”

“No.” Anna corrected him quickly n the overly-optimistic way she treated most things, “Not diapers. Goodnites. They’re meant for people who share your, um dilemma.”

“Same thing.” Robbie grumbled.

Anna was about to continue her campaign when Tyson interrupted her.

“Hey, I know you probably think this is like the worst idea ever.” He said, “But think about it, you wouldn’t have to worry about wettin’ your clothes or anything, and who knows, maybe it won’t be so bad.”

The guilt of desecrating Tyson’s couch hung over him heavily, but personal experience with diapers had made Robbie perfectly aware that they were actually quite bad. Though his parents had later found out that Robbie’s aunt had used diapers to control his accidents, they had chosen to use plastic sheets and alarms, both of which were annoying. Being doctors, they disagreed strongly with the use of diapers to deal with bed wetting. Robbie thought it was strange. Many parents jumped on any opportunity to once again baby their younger children, often because they wanted to hold onto one last shred of parenthood which they would never again experience. Robbie’s mom had treated him and his situation like another ‘grown-up’ matter. It was like another of her many attempts to push him away rather than hold him back. Most kids wanted such freedom, but Robbie just wanted to be with his mom.

“It’s totally up to you.” Tyson added.

Deep down, Robbie knew that he should accept the offer, but part of him wanted to be told to do it, so he could rebel. He felt as though he were just accepting his terrible circumstances.

“I guess I’ll do it.” Robbie complied.

Anna smiled and patted him on the back.

“That is a very mature decision.” She said, “We can go shopping later.”

Robbie smiled and continued to eat his waffles. Anna seemed really into the whole thing.

“Welcome gentlemen.” Zack greeted Jake and Robbie as they rounded the corner that lead to the entrance of the building. He himself was leaning against the wall with a cigarette in hand. Shawn was standing beside him. Jake was unnerved by the familiarity of the situation.

“Hey.” Robbie replied excitedly as they dismounted their skateboards.

“School fun?” Zack asked mockingly.

“Not as fun as skipping I’d bet.” Robbie returned. Zack laughed.

Shawn, who had been silent thus far, turned to Jake and asked, “How’re you feeling?”

“Um, I dunno,” Jake said a little taken aback, “Nervous I guess, I dunno.”

Shawn nodded, but Jake wasn’t sure this was for approval or not. Either way, he once again was silently puffing away on his cigarette.

“Don’ worry about it man.” Zack consoled him. “Hell, everybody’s a little nervous their first time.”

“Yeah, well…” Jake trailed off.

“We should probably go in there.” Robbie suggested as he nodded towards the doorway.

Jake complied as they pulled the thick door steel door open and descended down the stairwell, which in daylight was much less ominous. The boys came into the small sitting area and were greeted almost immediately by Louis. His broad smile was welcoming and he looked absolutely delighted to see the pair.

“What’s up guys?” he asked as he patted Robbie on the back.

“Not much,” they responded simultaneously.

“Sweet.” said Louis as he turned to Jake. “Are you ready buddy?”

“I guess so.” Jake responded quietly.

“You don’t sound so sure man.” Louis remarked, “I’ll tell you what. Robbie can go first and you can go chill with Dustin and Meghan in the corner over there.” He nodded to the far corner where a guy and a girl about Josh’s age were sitting deep in conversation and then continued, “Maybe it’ll help you calm down or whatever.”

“Alright, thanks Louis.” Jake replied as he made his way to the other two in the room.

“Lou’s fine man.” The other corrected him.

He was more uncertain now than ever. Before it had just been talk, but now he was actually going to have to build up the courage to put a diaper on in front of some people he hardly knew and let them take some pictures. Jake didn’t even know how to put a diaper on. Josh would probably angry with him if he left, too. All he wanted to do was amend the situation between them, which would have been much easier if he had known what the actual problem was. He was putting himself through extreme measures to do this. But still, there was still the slim hope that he would actually enjoy wearing diapers. After all, so many other people did, so why shouldn’t he? There was a lot going on n Jake’s head; he was on his last nerve. Louis’ attitude was comforting however. He gave the impression that he wanted to make Jake feel better about the situation he was in. It was good to have something to help alleviate the stress.

“Hello.” The girl apparently named Meghan said as he approached, “I’m Meghan. This is Dustin.”

“I’m uh, Jake.” He greeted as he shook their hands in turn.

“Oh,” Dustin exclaimed. “You’re Josh’s cousin.”

“Yep.” Jake replied.

“So this is your first time here?” Meghan questioned politely.

“Yeah, I’m, uh, covering for Josh now.” Jake stammered.

“Why are you so nervous?” Dustin asked harshly, as if he were demanding an answer that he didn’t want to wait for.

“Well,” Jake began, “I’ve never actually worn a diaper before. I mean, when I was a baby, sure, but not since then.”

“Then why are you here?” Dustin interrogated further.

Jake decided that he didn’t like Dustin. Again, he found himself stumbling for an answer, but he was soon saved.

“Leave him alone Dustin.” Meghan ordered in a maternal manner.

“I was just asking him”- Dustin started but was once more cut off.

“Why don’t you go outside and get some fresh air. It’ll do you some good.”

Dustin stared at her with a mixture of passionate hate and subtle desire. It was strange. He got up and left, without bothering to argue or defend his now-shattered pride.

“Sorry about him.” Meghan apologized for her companion.

“No worries,” said Jake “But thanks.”

“So, you’re not into diapers?” Meghan said, picking up their conversation.

“I’m not sure,” Jake answered her “Like I said, I’ve never worn them just for kicks.”

“Trust me,” she almost laughed, “You’d know if you liked them. You would be like every other guy in here, practically drooling when you see a Goodnites add on TV. Not that that’s a bad thing, but it’s pretty obvious when you like diapers. Trust me.”

“Do you like them?” Jake asked. He wasn’t sure if girls liked diapers. Why shouldn’t they? But perhaps it was just one of the many possible drives of lust that a maturing boy feels.

“No,” she responded flatly, “At least, not to wear. But I do like seeing you cute little boys dressed up in your diapers!”

Jake flushed as the idea of being called cute burnt his mind.

“Don’t be so embarrassed.” Meghan went on, “I’ve seen plenty of guys in diapers. You’re not gonna be anything special and it’s not like I’ll tell all your friends.”

“Who says you’re even gonna see me in a diaper?” Jake questioned smartly.

Meghan laughed and returned “Well who do you think puts you in the diaper?”

If Jake was red before he was the deepest scarlet possible now. Any further and he’d probably only be visible to dogs. To make matters worse, Meghan continued to laugh hysterically.

“So, are you ready?” Meghan asked when she finally got control of herself.

“For what?” Jake croaked.

“To get changed, silly!” She explained as she bounded from her chair, apparently thoroughly thrilled with the idea.

Jake on the other hand remained seated. There was something about being seen naked by a strange girl that could paralyze a young pre-teen boy. He wasn’t as excited as Meghan, and he had not planned on being changed by anybody, let alone this older and definitely attractive girl. Jake wasn’t sure on how he would have attached his diaper, seeing as he was virtually clueless when it came to the matter. But as tentative as Jake was he still had the voice in the back of his head telling him to go and just do it. Whether that voice was his maturing drive for acceptance from the opposite sex or the same gut instinct that compelled him to attempt to defy gravity on his skateboard, Jake wasn’t sure, but whatever it was permitted him to get up when Meghan grabbed him by the hand and led him into one of the siding rooms.

Robbie and Anna took Tyson’s car to the mall. Tyson was supposed to have been with them, but he was asked to work for the day as one of the other employees had failed to show up, allegedly due to health problems. Tyson’s co-worker would certainly have some health problems if Tyson had found out that he had skipped work for anything other than a near death experience. Robbie’s older brother had desperately wanted to come with him and Anna. He seemed somewhat skeptical to send his brother with his girlfriend to go diaper shopping. It was probably just the peculiarity of the situation as well as his often over protective nature. Robbie himself felt a little uncomfortable without his elder brother, but his was familiar enough with Anna that it wasn’t excruciatingly unbearable.

The nearest mall was a fair enough distance away from the pool hall, and since that particular area of town was undesirable to travel through due the gangs, the pair took the bus. Tyson owned a beautiful car, but nobody besides him was even allowed to touch it, much less drive it around the city. So, Robbie and Anna rode the dirty, bus into the heart of Hammer Bay, the location of the largest mall in the area. Robbie, who was still very uneasy about going out into public to buy diapers, wished that they could have just found a small drug mart or convenient store. He wasn’t keen on purchasing his Goodnites from one of the most crowded places in town.

Some cruel twist of fate had seen the mall packed full that day, and as Robbie trailed Anna through the automatic doors his heart sunk into his queasy gut. Anna, obviously sensing his anxiety, pulled him through the mass of faces off to the side of the entrance way and leaned closely to him so he could hear her speak.

“Hey, do you wanna go buy some other stuff first?” Anna almost had to shout over the ambient sound. “Maybe we could head to HMV or get some clothes or whatever. We could pick up your Goodnites later.”

Robbie winced when she mentioned the diapers and made a quick check to see if anybody had overheard their discussion. Luckily, the deafening volume had blocked it out.

“But I didn’t bring any money.” Robbie admitted.

“Don’t worry about it.” Anna said patting him on the back, “My treat. Consider it compensation.”

As they began their trek past the hundreds of shops, Robbie asked, “What’s compensation?”

“Your brother and my way of thanking you for being so mature.” Anna explained.

“You should have told me about that before,” Robbie laughed, “I would’ve agreed right away!”

“Ah, but that’s called a bribe and it’s much more illegal.” said Anna.

“Learn something new every day, I guess.” claimed Robbie.

“You’re wise beyond your years.” Anna complimented him and as they passed a clothing store she pointed and said “Let’s go in here.”

It was mostly preppy clothing in Robbie’s opinion, and despite Anna’s insistence Robbie would not try on a polo shirt. He had no desire to look like a stuck-up prick from the rich section of the city. He hated it when people assumed he was one of ‘those’ kind’ of kids, an impression imposed by his parents’ occupations as doctors and his house in the Hills. Against the wishes of his mother and father, his attire was composed of torn, old jeans and shirts displaying his favourite bands or skating companies. So, after a brief period of time Robbie and Anna departed from the store.

Their next stop was at an HMV. They browsed around for some time and again Anna tried to convert Robbie to her mainstream ways by attempting to purchase him a Red Hot Chili Peppers album. He persisted diligently as he despised the band.

“How can hate the Chili’s?” Anna questioned in shock. “You’re from California! They’re like our state’s official band!”

“They’re just a bunch of strung-out hippies.” Robbie argued. “It’s not hardcore and its lame.”

“Alright then, smart-ass,” Anna went on smirking, “What is good music to your distinguished ears?”

Robbie looked around on the ‘metal’ shelf that the duo stood beside and selected a CD from off of it. He thrust it into Anna’s hands.

“Hmmm, Shadows Fall.” She said nodding, “I thought we were talking about music.”

“What are ya talking about?” Robbie exclaimed, “They got the best guitarists breathing ever!”

“Playing fast doesn’t mean you’re good, it means you’re fast.” Anna corrected him, “When you can make music sounds like it means something, and make it sound passionate or emotional, then you’re good.”

“No,” Robbie persisted, “When you play slow hippy music it means you can’t play well. Fast equals skills.”

“What about Eric Clapton or George Harrison in his prime?” Anna questioned him.

“Who the heck are they?” Robbie responded as she shook her head.

“You have a lot to learn my friend.” She stated, “I’ll tell you what, if I get you this crappy head banger CD then you also have to get a Clapton CD or Dire Straits or something that’s actually decent. Deal?”

“Deal.” Robbie agreed shaking Anna’s hand.

They purchased the CD’s and left for the food court. After ordering some ice cream they found a seat on a bench in one of the less crowded sections, which was immensely difficult to come by. They ate and talked about whatever came to mind, like school and other such matters. Robbie was surprised to find himself having a good time. He was in high spirits and laughing along with Anna at each of the many jokes she told. As he only had a few friends that were girls, Anna was a breath of fresh air for somebody to talk to. It wasn’t like he spoke with his mom about miscellaneous matters. It was like Robbie’s relationship with her was just business, a passionless formality that felt forced at moments. With Anna, he could relax and vent. It didn’t matter what it was they discussed, it was great to just be able to talk. Robbie was happy to be there with her. Tyson had superb taste.

Maybe Anna had waited until Robbie was in a good mood or it could have been that they had nothing left to do, but she decided that it was time to go buy the diapers. The walk across the mall to the Wal-mart which was connected to it felt like an eternity. Robbie thought that everyone who passed them along the way secretly knew what he was going to buy and as soon as they were behind him they would begin to laugh uncontrollably. Attempting to clear his mind, he focused on how nice spring break was going to be. This failed miserably and he found himself almost trembling because of his nervousness.

Stopping outside the store, Anna faced Robbie and said: “This is the place. Are you still alright with this?”

“Not really,” Robbie replied, “But whatever.”

He marched into the store boldly, with Anna in tow. They navigated their way to the baby section where all the diapers were. The commercials claimed that Goodnites were for growing children and always implied the message that theses glorified pull-ups were for kids who didn’t want to wear actual diapers. If this was so, it seemed strange that they would stock them along side all the baby supplies. Robbie was feeling ill, but at the same time tremendously thankful that they stood in the aisle alone. Anna grabbed a twenty pack of the larger size which was suited Robbie; who weighed in at about one-hundred-and-ten pounds. They moved on towards the front desk without speaking a word. Robbie had nothing to say and he assumed that Anna didn’t want to make the situation any more awkward than it already was, a feat that would have been difficult given the extremely imminent tension. The line for the express lane was short, not due to its speed but rather to the lack of people who could go into Wal-mart and buy less than ten items. Again expecting ridicule, Robbie was comforted when the cashier made no comments about their purchase. She even double bagged the package so that its contents were not recognizable through the thin plastic. Anna paid, thanked her and left.

“Ready to go home yet?” Anna asked him outside the store.

“You have no idea.” Robbie exclaimed melodramatically.

“Well I’m proud of you for not backing out.” She said as they began on their way home. “It was a very grown up thing to do.”

Robbie wondered how grown-up he would feel once he was actually wearing the diapers.

Jake was amazed by the room which he had just entered. It was like a nursery in from the slums. Against the wall on the left was a massive changing table, which he reasoned was necessary for boys of his approximate age and size. Next to the table were stacks of all sorts of diapers. There were Goodnites, Attends and Depends, both of which came in a multitude of varieties, cloth diapers and even some baby diapers. On another smaller table there were some baby wipes and powder, and there was also a large steel cupboard across from the door. It would have been picture perfect if the room itself didn’t look exactly like what it was: the basement in an aging warehouse office. What paint was left on the walls was chipping and the only illumination was a flickering light bulb. Where one would ordinarily expect a soft carpet in a nursery there was a cold slab of concrete, partially hidden by a foul plaid rug that stretched across the center of the floor. There was a distinctive odor that combined the clashing universes; it was that of a young child’s bedroom and cardboard topped with stale air.

“Well, get naked.” Meghan ordered as she began to gather her supplies.

Jake’s eyes quivered as they stared in disbelief at the one who had made the request, and his eyes were matched with the cold and unwavering gaze often only unleashed by mothers.

“It’s probably in your best interest to cooperate, Jake.” Meghan informed him. “Don’t worry. I’ve seen plenty of naked boys before.”

“You’re pretty blunt about things.” Jake croaked as he remained motionless.

“Just my way of dealing with life, kiddo.” Meghan stated as she approached Jake and pulled his shirt off over his head. He was too stunned to resist.

Meghan directed him over to the changing table and after a moment of consideration, he climbed on top and lay on his bare back. The surface was cold and he shuttered. Meghan laughed as she pulled off his shoes and socks.

“Now, Jake, keeping in mind that this and the whole picture taking thing are somewhat illegal, I need you to relax.” Meghan instructed him.

He let out a hollow laugh and nodded. He would do his best to remain calm well this older girl he had met several minutes ago stripped and regressed him back into an infantile state.

“Good.” Meghan said and she smiled as she unfastened his belt and pulled it away from his shivering body.

She proceeded to remove his shorts. Her warm hands offered no comfort to Jake’s shaking legs. The temperature was now hardly the reason for his uneasiness. There had been so many wild stunts he had attempted, and so many risks he had dared to attempt, but never in his whole life had he been this nervous. Not even on the day that the gang had attacked him in the alley way had he been so frightened. Jake almost felt like he was going to be sick. His white skin was becoming a swirl of a milky paleness and an eerie green. It was most guys dream to get undressed by an attractive young girl, but Jake realized how nerve-racking that could be, especially for a twelve-year-old.

Meghan, who for reasons unbeknownst to Jake was taking an exceptionally long time to perform her duty, finished pulling off his shorts and he now was laying on the table with only his boxers and cast on. Jake was trembling fiercely.

“Just relax.” Meghan said soothingly as she ran her hand through his blonde hair. “Are you going to be okay?”

“Y-yeah,” Jake stammered though his chattering teeth, “I’ll be cool.”

“Alright,” Meghan continued, “I’m going to take off your boxers now, alright?”

His shaking head moved into an affirmative nod and she began to pull his boxers off. Everything was silent and though time froze she removed the boxers with a single, quick tug. Like plunging into a pool of frozen water, Jake was shocked. The moment wasn’t embarrassing, but unimaginably foreign to him.

“There!” She exclaimed gleefully, “That’s not so bad, is it?”

Jake couldn’t manage to form anything coherent so he kept his mouth shut.

“Lou wants you to go with that crippled skateboarder look you pull off so well.” Meghan explained as she retrieved a thick white diaper from a package labeled as ‘youth’. “Personally, I would have gone with maimed hospital victim, but he runs the show.”

Jake correctly surmised that she was referring to how he would be posing for the pictures. He was amazed at how casually she was acting, considering there was a young naked boy in her midst.

“Well,” she went on, “You don’t have to actually use the diaper today, or so I was told, so I don’t have to powder you.”

She pulled the diaper apart and ordered Jake to lift his butt. He pushed up and she slipped the diaper underneath him. Jake felt so exposed having Meghan stand over his nude figure, staring directly down at his boyhood member. She didn’t make any personal comments, and he was grateful for it. His racing mind began to settle as the almost absurd feeling of the diaper on his bare legs attracted his focus. Meghan then lifted the front of the protective garment over his groin. The comfort that he may have normally felt with the soft material stretched around his waist was paralleled by the awareness of how ridiculous it was for him to be being diapered. The diaper then clasped his small figure as Meghan fastened the tapes securely.

“There you go.” Meghan said and Jake sat up and began to move around.

Though he couldn’t help feeling like a giant baby, reduced back into his early childhood by a single article of clothing, the diaper was without a doubt quite comfortable. With every step there was the warm push of the spongy material pressing against his penis, and some part of his subconscious reminisced a time when this was commonplace. However, the same thoughts reminded Jake of how infantile his appearance was. He was struggling to find a balance between his enjoyment of the diaper’s coziness and his distaste with his actions. It was proving difficult to do so and the confusion was irritating. Jake decided he needed more time to think about it and that he couldn’t make up his mind just then.

“Now put your shirt back on and grab your skateboard.” Meghan told him and he complied.

He pulled the shirt back on and Meghan passed him a toque from the cabinet.

“It’ll add to your character.” Meghan said as Jake looked down at the hat distastefully.

“What am I, Canadian?” Jake asked sarcastically.

Jake was beginning to feel more relaxed now that the initial tension was over. It seemed like now that he had been through the diapering, he could handle anything. Maybe he was elated with his new underwear, but again he realized his mixed emotions about the matter and concluded that he was just happy that he had overcome such a stressful event.

“So, why do you do this?” Jake questioned Megan, “I mean, like, why do you, I dunno, work here?”

“It’s because I like to see you boys run around in your diapers. You’re so cute!” She joked. “But actually, I work for the same group as Louis. When he started doing this, he asked if I could give a hand. I agreed. At first, was kind of skeptical, but Lou convinced me. That’s something he’s good at.”

Jake knew what she was talking about. Lou just seemed so trustworthy, probably because of his happy-go-lucky attitude and easy going ways. It was strange. Meghan and Jake walked back into the main room, where Robbie sat waiting with Zack and Shawn. Dustin was nowhere to be found. At the sound of their arrival, Robbie looked up and beamed.

“How do I look?” Jake asked quietly with a small smirk spread across his features.

“Like a kid in a diaper.” Zack replied simply, and after Meghan shot him a dirty look he added, “What? You want me to tell him how cute he is?”

“How cute am I?” Jake questioned smartly.

“Absolutely adorable smart-ass.” Zack joked. Shawn smacked him upside his head.

“Cool.” said Robbie, who still bore a wide grin.

Knowing how much this meant to Robbie, Jake returned the grin just in time as Meghan soon was taking him into yet another room. This one was much larger and contained several large cameras as well as some other photography equipment. They were all pointed at a canvas that looked like a bedroom, though Jake saw that there were some other canvases off to the side such as a nursery and a hospital. There was also a crib and what looked like a box of baby paraphernalia which included pretty much any item a baby might have except for they were much larger.

“Hey buddy!” Louis said as he emerged from behind one of the cameras, “Wow! Diapers suit you man.”

Jake laughed along and Louis guided him to the counterfeit bedroom. The background depicted a room full of regular kid’s stuff. An actual bed was placed in front of it.

“Okay man,” Louis started, “I want you to sit on the bed holding the skateboard.”

As Jake did so the diaper pressed up against his groin with a loud crinkle. Jake almost giggled, but sustained himself to save face. Louis considered him momentarily and then repositioned him several more times, making sure that the diaper was painfully obvious for the camera. Eventually he was satisfied and he returned to his camera.

“Ready?” Louis called.

“I think so.” Jake answered.

Within a split second Jake contemplated his decision. Was all this worth it? And what was that ‘it’? What was left to prove? He had tried on the diaper and wasn’t enamored. Sure, it was comfortable, but there was no desire to level of a fetish. He had gone down the path without leaving any crumbs and now he couldn’t remember where he had come from, at least psychologically. He knew he could have gotten up and ran away without a glance back, but there was something it the depths of his head or gut or heart, he wasn’t sure, and this something compelled him to stay. His mind was quickly made up, and the lights flashed as Jake diapered image was captured by the device.

Though not entirely unfamiliar, something certainly felt different to Robbie when he woke up. He recognized the room he was in as his brother’s living room, an undeniable conclusion given the mess. That day was no special occasion and it bore no special significance other than that it was a brand new day. Everything appeared to be just as it had, and Robbie was struggling against the tiredness that still plagued him to discover what this mysterious misplacement was. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, attempting to come to some sort of realization, and then it hit him like a sucker punch. Robbie gazed at his sleeping bag in astonishment; it was completely dry, as was the couch.

But there was still something amiss, he was still wet. Lifting the blanket to investigate, Robbie saw that his Goodnite was thoroughly soaked. The small men on their ATV’s had grotesquely expanded with the added bulk, and the once milky white diaper had become a thick, dark grey. The urine was cold against his now soggy skin, a feeling which he was used to though it had never been so tight. In an attempt to adjust into a more comfortable position, he sat up. The Goodnite squished as his weight pressed against the material and made a sickly noise. He groaned at the diaper he had become disgusted with.

To avoid any leakage, Robbie arose from the sofa with caution. So much effort had gone into making sure his pee stayed in the diaper, it would have been a shame to throw it all away. As soon as he was standing, the Goodnite sagged down about an inch. The extra weight had loosened the grip of the glorified pull-up and this caused it to slide down Robbie’s bare legs. He grabbed the sides, trying to keep it from falling off entirely. Fortunately, the bathroom was within waddling distance and he was forced to imitate a duck’s walk to make it there safely. As he walked past the kitchen, he checked to make sure that neither Tyson nor Anna was sitting their. Being seen in the drenched diaper did not rank very highly on his priority list. There was something about looking like a baby that deeply disturbed Robbie. Concluding that nobody was watching him from the other room, he backed away from the kitchen’s entrance and turned directly into his older brother. By some lucky twist of fate he managed to fall over.

“What the fuck?” Tyson exclaimed, still dazed from sleep.

“Good morning to you to.” Robbie replied as he regained his composure and continued to struggle with the Goodnite.

“Oh, Robbie,” said Tyson, blinking in the bright light of the hallway, “You freaked me out. Sorry man.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Robbie told him as he tried to move through the bathroom doorway that was beside the brothers.

“Hey man, your diaper-thing worked.” Tyson stated bluntly.

“Uh, yeah.” concurred Robbie, who was a little embarrassed by his brother pointing out his wet Goodnite.

“So it’s a good thing Anna got you some then.” Tyson said as he continued down the hallway.

Robbie was now left alone in the bathroom to contemplate his older brother’s final remarks. He supposed it had been for the best, as there was no dirty laundry to be cleaned, sheets to be washed or couches to be cleaned. The diaper itself was undesirable, but it was certainly affective, and despite the fact he didn’t really want to wear one again he was aware of its benefits. So overall, he was grateful to have gone with Anna, and looking back, he had had a fantastic time with her. They’d had so much fun together, and she was so generous and pleasant. Robbie enjoyed having a girl to hang out with. Not a girlfriend, and not one his age, but an older female role model whom he could appreciate and talk to. His mom seldom offered such solace, and when his aunt had tried to baby him it had been disastrous, so he was delighted to finally find such a relationship. Their day together had been awesome, and when he considered it the Goodnites were almost a memoir to the date. The diapers had been better than worse for him, so he decided that maybe they weren’t so bad, no matter what his experiences had been with his crazed aunt.

The Goodnite was promptly discarded into the garbage can and Robbie spent a solid fifteen minutes in the shower erasing the remnants of it from his skin. The odor hung like a rain cloud and he could still feel the sagging pull-up on him even though it was now gone from his person. He had heard that the same thing happened to people with severed body parts; the missing limb would subconsciously reappear like a psychological ghost. It was reasoned that this was because of how used to the part the person was. Robbie wasn’t quite accustomed to the diaper, but part of him missed the odd sensation of it on his groin. As unusual as it seemed, he was almost looking forward to wearing one again.

“And that should do it.” Louis said after what must have been the thirtieth picture.

Jake, who had been positioned in an about-to-be-un-diapered position on the bed, sat up and stretched. The wide array of poses had left his back stiff, and when he flexed it a cracking noise let him know to be more cautious in the future.

“That was excellent man!” Louis complimented him enthusiastically. “You’re a natural.”

“Thanks Lou.” Jake returned, though he wasn’t sure what was so tricky about throwing on a diaper and getting photographed in random and casually offensive positions, other than the psychological bit. Maybe his finding it simple was what made him a natural.

“You want to take a look at ‘em?” asked Louis as he began shutting down and cleaning up his equipment.

“Um, sure. I guess so.” Jake said, uncertain of what he was supposed to say.

“Alright.” Louis continued and the pair, along with Meghan whom had been watching, proceeded to a computer in the far corner of the room which Jake had not previously noticed.

After connecting some cables to the computer and fiddling around for a while, Jake’s diapered image flashed on to the screen. It was the first picture, where he was on the bed with his rear prominently facing the lens. Jake flushed; he looked just like a baby, albeit much larger and hairier. To make matters worse, Meghan giggled uncontrollably.

“Oh Jake, you’re adorable!” She laughed.

Louis smiled and joined in: “Like I said, you’re a natural.”

The combination of the compliments and the continued stream of pictures caused Jake to experience an entirely new level of embarrassment. The next photo was of him sucking his thumb, and the one after that was of him holding his skateboard, but in these and the rest the diaper was always blatantly obvious. Louis undoubtedly had a gift when it came to capturing the childishness of his models. As the rest of the pictures flashed away, Jake felt a small sense of pride. Not only because he had managed to accomplish the task of destroying whatever fears he had had about exposing himself in such a manner, but because Jake also thought that the pictures were pretty good, not that he had anything to compare them to.

“All that’s left to do now is post these on the site.” Louis stated as he again began typing frantically away on the keyboard.

The sinking feeling in Jake’s stomach painfully reminded him that his photographs would be available to everybody on the planet. Whatever fame that would bring was undesired. But he had come this far and he would not be deterred by a little more humiliation. Besides, it wasn’t like any of his friends or even acquaintances would be on the website, except for those who were involved anyways.

“Okay,” Louis went on, “Your pictures are ready but you need a name.”

“What’s wrong with Jake?” he asked in offense.

“Nothing at all, but we’re trying to keep your identity as much a secret as possible.”

“Oh, I get it.” Jake lied. He could not comprehend how his identity could be hidden if his face was clearly visible, but he opted not to argue and to accept the small amount of security an alias offered. All the while, Louis was observing Jake carefully.

“What?” Jake asked.

“I think we should go with Kaleb.” Louis suggested after a moment of silence.

“Why Kaleb?” Jake wondered aloud.

“Kaleb Nord is a little-known revolutionary.” Louis proceeded, “He was the leading member of a group known as the Farsight Initiative. Supposedly, it was Kaleb that first took the group from being an environmental preservation company to a radicalist movement. He dedicated his life and the group to saving the world from itself. You kinda look like him. It’s your eyes.”

“What happened to him?” Jake asked, enthralled by the story and this Farsight Initiative.

“He just disappeared.” Louis replied flatly, “Most people think he’s dead.”

“How do you know so much about him?” questioned Jake. He had never heard a word about any of this before.

“Well,” Louis answered, “Bedlam, that’s the organization we’re a part of, is an unofficial offshoot of the Farsight Initiative. We try and continue their work.”

“Why?” Jake went on, “What happened to them?”

“After Kaleb vanished, they just went off the map. So nobody’s actually sure, but occasionally something pops up that indicates that they’re still at large.”

“Like what?” Jake asked curiously. He wanted to know more.

“What’s with all the questions man?”

“Just wonderin’.” Jake shrugged.

“Whatever,” Louis laughed, “So Kaleb’s okay then?”

“For sure man.” Jake said.

“Alright then, I’ll post them right away.” Louis turned to face Jake. “You’re good to go buddy.” He extended his hand and Jake shook it.

“See ya next Tuesday.” Jake said as he left the room with Meghan.

“You can go put your clothes back on. I don’t think you need my help with that.” She teased him and he grinned against his better judgment.

He came into the main room where only Robbie remained.

“How’d it go in there?” Robbie asked is friend.

“Pretty good, I think.” Jake responded as he attempted to move across the room as quickly as he could. There was still something awkward about being in front of Robbie in just a shirt and diaper.

“Well, hurry up and get changed so we can go get something to eat. I’m starving!” Robbie stated as he licked his lips.

Jake glanced at his friend momentarily and observed something was different. His shorts were noticeably bulkier. He wondered whether he should comment, but his mouth had made that decision before his brain could determine a reasonable solution.

“Dude, are you still wearing your diaper?” Jake asked before he could restrain himself.

Robbie, seemingly not offended by the remark, simply replied “Ya man. I figured now that you know I like them, it doesn’t matter if I’m wearing them. Unless that bugs ya.”

“No, it’s cool,” Jake said, “But what if someone else sees you?”

“I’m not hanging out with anybody else right now.” Robbie said confidently. There was no fear in his voice.

“Whatever then.” Jake shrugged, “I’m gonna go get changed.”

“What, I haven’t convinced you to wear yours yet?” Robbie called after him.

“Nope.” Jake answered as he disappeared into the next room.

Stripping of his diaper, he disposed of it in the trash pale. He slid his boxers back on, followed by his pants, all the while thinking about how much Robbie actually adored the diapers. It was so weird, knowing that his friend found some bizarre solace in them, but he decided not to judge him for it. They were still best friends, and it would take a lot more than one minor change to alter that. Jake just found it peculiar that he had failed to notice Robbie’s passion for diapers before. It seemed obvious now, and the fact that he had failed to realize it made him feel ignorant. Jake, who was only getting used to the idea of running around in diapers and who certainly had no deep desire for them, now knew that it was painfully apparent that Robbie loved diapers.

His foot was thumping on the ground uncontrollably and his hands were sweaty. He sat on is front steps, impatiently fidgeting. Robbie was nervously awaiting Josh and AJ’s arrival. It was his first day ‘on the job’ and it was rather nerve-racking. Never before had any of his friends seen him diapered, and the prospect of such was both disturbing and enthralling.

The hot summer weather offered no mercy, despite the fact that the long break was almost over and September was upon them. There were only two weeks until school was back in session, which for Robbie meant grade seven. Reminiscing, it was strange to him that the last time he was seen in an infantile state by anybody else was during spring break, when he had stayed with Tyson. He had worn diapers throughout his visit, and used them every night. However, his parents would not permit him to do so, and he was forced to wake up in a wet bed at least once a week. They said he would grow out of it with time and that they would not reduce their almost teenaged son back to a baby. This was just another way of his mother distancing herself from her youngest son. Yet Robbie longed to once again have the soft material rub against his legs and to experience the maternal nature of a woman that went hand-and-hand with them. Every time he saw a commercial for Goodnites or even Huggies, he recalled his fantastic day with Anna at the mall. It had been engraved in his memory, and the primary link to that time were diapers. Robbie coveted them. But the only time he could manage to attain any was when he was at the hospital with his parents, which was not often.

However, he had managed to secure one the week before. Immediately, he had called Jake to have a sleepover. It wasn’t often that he slept over at a friend’s house or vice versa, because of his nightly incontinence. Robbie often had to make up excuses to avoid such situations, but now that he had protection he embraced the opportunity. Jake invited him over for the night and he had accepted. However, Josh was also staying over. At the time, Robbie wasn’t bothered with such a minor detail. He was exceptionally careful about hiding his secret, and as of yet nobody had discovered his passion for diapers. But late that night, after Jake had fallen asleep, Josh confronted him.

Josh said that he was aware that Robbie was wearing a diaper. Though he was shocked at first, the other boy had revealed that he too was wearing a pull-up. They had discussed it into the early hours of the morning, and after a while Josh had come to realize that Robbie enjoyed them. He had invited him to come to some secret ‘club’ where they all wore diapers. He had conceded instantly. As far as Robbie had known, he was the only kid that wanted regression, but now Josh was telling him that not only were there more kids with the same interest, they had also organized into a group. Robbie had never been more excited.

So, he sat waiting for his two older friends to arrive. Robbie had wanted to include Jake, but Josh had insisted that they leave him out for what he cited as ‘personal reasons’. This hadn’t sat well with him, but what was one secret between friends? Besides, he had managed to keep it a secret from him thus far, why would it be any different now? Robbie snapped out of his mental battle when he noticed a pair of bikers pedaling down the street. His heart accelerated as he thought of the diapers he would soon be surrounded by. The diapers that tied him so closely to a mother figure, which was really all that he wanted deep down inside.