I didn’t really wake up good and proper until I was out the door and on my way to school. I could barely recall telling Mom good morning, or taking a shower, or even if my diaper had been wet or not. I imagine it was wet, since wearing diapers I had only had a couple of mornings where I woke up completely dry, however point being I just couldn’t remember much this morning.
Big school, that’s what everyone called the Simonsville Secondary campus, which housed our combined middle and high school. No one was sure weather big school meant school for big kids, or if big instead referred to its size since it housed 2 school buildings, a gym, and a facilities building on its campus. The west building was what housed classes for 6-8th graders and the east building held grades 9-12. I walked across the road and into the back lot of the school where our P.E. area was which included a football field and a baseball diamond. As I made my way to the west building, I realized I would have no call to come here again after this week, next year I would be going to the East building, which housed the high school portion of big school.
I walked into the west building passing all the kids talking in the hall. I hit my locker and got my books out for first period where I had American History. I turned the corner from my locker headed to my home room and I found Rick and Matt who were talking with a few other kids I didn’t know.
“Morning Rick” I interrupted when I got close to them “Your brother around here?”
Our brother, I thought to myself.
“He already went to homeroom I think” Rick said.
“Okay cool You guys have a good day.” I told them and headed down the hall to where the eighth grade home rooms were located.
Eighth grade was divided into two homerooms designated a and b, each with about 24 kids or so. Rob had homeroom A and I had homeroom B. Both homerooms were on opposite sides of the hall. I was anxious to see Rob and make sure we were still on for this afternoon but I didn’t see him when I stuck my head in the door for ‘A”. As I looked in the door I caught Mandy Starler’s attention.
She waved “Hi Todd”
I used to be able to talk to Mandy, we had sat beside each other in Algebra last year and had become good friends. She was the prettiest girl in the whole class and every bit as kind even though her family was one of the richest in town. My friend Glen Reed’s family either tied or exceed the Starlers in wealth but not class, as the Starlers acted like big city rich folk, except Mandy, she wasn’t the least bit stuck up (which is more than can be said for her sister Elen who was in 11th grade and a real snob or so I hear). Rob confided in my at lunch one day, two weeks after moving here, that Mandy had a crush on me and ever since then I’ve gotten all clenched up when she’s around.
I really wanted to tell her I liked her, too, that I though she was pretty and that her smile made me happy. Instead all I ever managed was a mumbled “Hi Mandy”. Today was no different, I swing and I miss.
The 2 minute warning bell sent a bunch of people for the door forcing me to step out of the door way. Kevin walked right past me without even a nod.
“Hi Kevin” I said forcing a cheerful tone into my voice. He didn’t answer.
Well some days just start off bad I guess. I couldn’t find Rob, I couldn’t talk to Mandy, I could talk to Kevin but he wouldn’t talk back. Suck. I went back across the hall and into my own homeroom. I’d just have to wait to talk to Rob until this afternoon at lunch.
The last week of school was always kind of anticlimactic. The teachers wanted out as bad as the students did, and most had quit giving any work since finals we’re done last week. The only teacher I had still giving any real work was Mr. Lancaster, my Social Studies teacher. Most of my school day was spent doing the most minimal busy work we could get by with, or goofing off completely like in Math class we watched some goofy filmstrip on money management.
Lunch came and it was meatloaf Monday, which really wasn’t as bad as it could have been, the vegetables were peas and carrots and by some twisted federal regulation ‘ketchup’ was the second vegetable. Desert was some kind of fruit cup where all the fruit looked different but tasted the same. I took my tray and went to look for Rob who usually got to lunch before me as his third period class was right next to the cafeteria and I had to walk from the other end of the building.
Our cafeteria tables sat four to five people each. William Robert Ports was seated next to Rob, no one called him Will or William, or Bill or Billy, or Billy Bob (well his family calls him that but he HATES it) nope every one calls him BB even most of the teachers. BB was real smart at science and stuff, probably the best student we got at the school in any grade. BB also played every sport our school offered, he played baseball, basketball, football and ran track, he wasn’t the best at any of them but he certainly put in the effort.
Across from BB was his best friend since second grade. Glen Reed looked like a young Alfred Hitchcock, at least in profile if not in features. Glen was our class clown, if there was ever mischief or scandal somewhere nearby Glen was to be found. Glen’s pranks were almost always a hit with his classmates, the problem was more often than adults failed to grasp the humor and so Glen was a constant participant and leader in his own after school sport ‘detention’.
I took my seat across from Rob and Next to Glen. “Sup ya’ll?”
“Nadda” Said BB.
“Damn man, you eat too fast,” I said looking at his tray which was already completely clean.
“Todd, it is not the speed with which he eats that is alarming, it’s the fact that he actually likes this crap that you should find scary” Glen said while poking his meatloaf with a fork as if he was checking to see if it was alive.
“Why Glen it’s so unlike you to citizen food, any food” BB shot back.
“HA! HA! Very funny, and the award for lunchroom appreciation goes to *wait for it* ah Billy Bob” Glen escalated.
“I kinda like it too, I guess” I tried to diffuse the situation before the insults got out of hand. That happens from time to time with those two, neither of them knows when to stop. They never stay mad at each other for more than a few minutes but it is still better if we can head them off at the pass.
“Sup cuz?” I asked Rob who hadn’t touched his food either “Not hungry”
Glen laughed “our boy Rob went and got himself sick this morning didn’t he”
“That’s just what you expect of a city boy though,” BB agreed
Laughing, Glen continued “I was with Scott Redmond by the gate this Morning when Rob got dropped off. Now you know how Scott always has to have a dip before homeroom?”
“Yeah” I said beginning to see where this was going.
“Well Scott offered his can around, like he always does, only duffus here actually says he’ll try some. So he reaches in and grabs a great big old pinch”
I knew where it was going “Rob, you swallowed it didn’t you?” I asked trying not to laugh
“Well yeah, but I didn’t mean too, and yes, I *already* knew not too. It was just Mr. Crosby came to see what we were doing by the gate. And I swallowed involuntarily.”
Glen cut in continuing the story “Scott had whispered to him to just hold it until Mr. Crosby left, but next thing you know Rob here is puking all over the ground, he just missed Mr. Crosby’s shoes by an inch or two”
“So how long did you get?” I asked Rob, normally tobacco infractions earned you a week of detention even if it went beyond the end of school.
“Nothing” Rob stated with a wan smile.
“Nothing?!?” I asked incredulously.
“Mr. Crosby was so amused at seeing Rob turn all greenish yellow that he figured that was lesson enough! Scott, however, was not so lucky” Glen explained with barely contained glee.
I looked to rob and said, “I feel for you Rob I really do. Mom caught me with a can of Dip once a couple years ago and she made me put it all in my mouth at once and hold it there as long as I could. She wouldn’t let me spit, and so my mouth filled up until I had to swallow some. I was sick for almost two days.”
BB beamed “Oh god, she did and it was so funny, too!”
“It was your fault, damn it!” I said
“It was BB, hate to say it, but it was your fault.” Glen agreed
Rob quirked an eyebrow in silent pleading for me to continue.
“Here’s the kicker! BB had left the can at Todd’s house by mistake. But his mom wouldn’t hear it, she just knew it was Todd’s!” Glen and BB both laughed at this. Rob smiled and looked amused and queasy at the same time.
“She was pissed at me for a whole week,” I said.
“Language, Mr. Arlen,” came the stern voice of Mrs. Meriwether who was patrolling the cafeteria.
“Sorry ma’am,” I apologized but I doubt she heard me as she had already moved on to another table.
We had all finished except Rob who still hadn’t touched a bite of his food. The 10-minute bell rang and we all took our trays to the washing window.
“Had a great time this weekend, Rob, Tell your folks I said thanks again. You guys have an awesome place!” BB said as we walked to the entrance.
Of course any house was nice to BB as his unit of measure was his folk’s run down trailer.
“Glad you guys had a good time. We will do it again when Todd can come,” Rob said
“Sounds like a plan to me!” Glen put in.
I wanted to ask Rob what they had done over the weekend, but we came up on the part of the hall where we went in different directions.
”See ya this afternoon?” I asked Rob
“Yeah, see ya then” Rob said as he headed to class.
I loved my schedule, I had P.E. right after lunch and that let me work off what I just ate. After changing clothes and lining up on the basketball court Coach explained he had no particular activity planned so we all got to vote on what to play. The majority of the guys ended up voting for flag football while the girls choose to stay inside and play volleyball.
I would have loved the chance to sit on the bleachers and watch Mandy play volleyball, the idea of her and her teammates bouncing around was certainly appealing, but I couldn’t think of any valid excuse I could use to stay inside.
I have a love-hate relationship with sports. I love the exercise, and I like making the occasional play. But I hate that despite being fairly well coordinated I just suck when it comes to most sports. The only thing sporting I do well is shoot, so I had no expectations of going out and performing well. I was right on the mark, after a half hour of running around not doing any good for my team I was glad when the coach called us in for our showers.
The locker room always smelled bad at the end of the year and the hotter it was outside the worse it smelled. I quickly stripped and threw my clothes in my gym bag before trotting off to the showers. I stepped under the running showerhead and braced myself, you never knew what temperature the water was going to be, the school showers knew only three temperatures of water; freezing, scalding, and annoyingly tepid. Luckily, today it was only annoyingly tepid which was way better than the other two. After I had soaped up and then rinsed off I ducked from under the shower head and headed to the entrance of the showers to grab a towel off the stack. I stood there at the showers entrance and rubbed myself down with the towel before wrapping it around my waist and returning to my locker to get dressed. A couple classmates, Sam and Troy, caught me at the door as I was about to leave “Good game, Todd!”
“Oh, thanks, I didn’t do much” I really didn’t, I wasn’t being modest, I knew I sucked.
“Well it was fun, maybe next time you’ll get the ball” Sam said.
“I hope so too, Ya’ll take it easy,” I told them as we split up in different directions.
The last two periods were uneventful and went quickly enough and before I knew it I was in the van with Rick and Rob on our way back to Aunt Sarah’s. Since Rob and Rick had moved here it had been our custom that on Mondays and Fridays we would get together at one of the houses for a couple of hours to work on homework. More often than not we studied more than we played as from the time they moved in we were preparing for state proficiency tests and then finals. I learned more about my cousins in the last two weeks than I had in the almost two prior months.
Once we got to the farm, Aunt Sarah said she’d make us a snack. So the three of us boys went and sat at the large kitchen table.
“How was school?” Aunt Sarah asked.
We all assured her it was fine.
“Have much homework?”
Rob and I both had none but poor Rick still had one teacher who insisted on giving homework.
“Well get right on it as soon as you get done eating”
“Aunt Sarah, can I ask you something?” I asked pulling my papers from last night from my book bag.
“Sure Todd, go ahead.”
“I was um looking online for supplies and things and I was wondering where you buy for Rob and Rick?”
“Supplies?”
“Here, like these,” I said handing her the stack of papers I had printed off the Internet the night before.
“Oh those supplies.” She said thumbing through the stack of papers.
“We shop from a variety of places. What were you looking for in particular?” Aunt Sarah asked.
“I think I am going to need some more plastic pants and I am still not sure of what brand of diaper I like best.”
“Well I like Abena’s, they’re my favorite.” Rick chipped in.
“I do too, I also like the prevails,” Rob said.
“I have some of those, that’s what I have been wearing the last few nights” I told them.
“Well I get the boy’s plastic pants from ‘plastic-pants.com’ and I just shop around for the diapers.”
“How about the overalls you let me wear?”
“Oh well there are stores all over the net for things like that, but those overall’s were made by a lady in Jerson who specializes in special clothes. I guess I will just have to make you a list, I can email it to you if you like?”
I pointed to the letters on the bottom of the printout ‘ab/dl aware’ and asked “Is that ab/dl an insurance program? I don’t think mom has that kind of insurance.”
My cousins and my aunt all turned to look at me with the strangest look on their faces. Once they figured out I was serious they all burst into laughter.
“What’d I say?” I said clueless, their laughter was contagious and I couldn’t help but start to laugh myself even though I was embarrassed without even knowing why.
“What’s the commotion?’ Uncle Steve said as he opened the back door onto the kitchen.
“Todd” was all Rob managed to get out before starting to laugh again.
“Oh poor Todd, must be wondering why we are laughing like loons!” Aunt Sarah said with mainly intact composure. “Seems Todd was searching on the Internet for diaper sites and he mistook ‘AB/DL Aware’ as a label for an insurance program”
“I could see how that could happen.” Uncle Steve came to my defense with just a little chuckle. “Don’t worry Todd, I could come out of retirement and sue them for harassment if you like. Take ‘em for everything they’ve got, every cent. Which is mine, isn’t it? So that means you’d take me for all I’ve got. No wait, never mind, bad idea.”
“That’s okay Uncle Steve, so now that I know AB/DL is not an insurance program, what the heck does it mean?”
Uncle Steve glanced questioningly at Aunt Sarah who kind of nodded.
“First, let me ask you this, Todd. When you spent the weekend here with us, and Rob wanted to wear diapers during the day, you went along with it to. Did you go along with his idea to wear just so he wouldn’t feel awkward? Or am I safe in assuming that you went along with it because you wanted to wear them? I seem to recall you even wet them a couple of times that day.” Uncle Steve said in the same manner he had spoken to Matt the night he diapered him.
“Objection Mom, Dad’s leading the witness,” Rick chimed in.
“Very Good Rick! Sustained, but allowable under the circumstances.” Aunt Sarah said patting Rick on the head.
“Yeah I suppose I did want to wear them.” I admitted.
“Well, what did you conclude? I think you must have enjoyed them if you were researching them on the Internet,” Uncle Steve prompted.
“I liked them. A lot, actually. I liked them enough that I’ve worn them other places too.”
Both Rob and Rick were getting excited, their eyes had lit up and they were eager to see how the conversation unfolded.
“I see. And did you like the shortalls too? How about the bibs at breakfast and dinner?”
“The bib was okay, but I really think I want some overalls like Rob’s if I can find them.”
“Good Lad, they were sharp on you, too. Thank you for your honesty in answering” Aunt Sarah interjected.
“You see, Todd, there are other people in the world who, like you, enjoy wearing diapers, even though they might not really need them. Now you wear at night because you need them, but you wore them during the day because you wanted to. There are a lot of people who just simply like diapers, those people like that call themselves Diaper Lovers or DL’s for short.” Uncle Steve paused a moment to see if I was getting all this.
“Ok. I got that, DL is someone who loves diapers weather they need them or not.”
“Great. Now some people like to babied and do baby things while diapered, maybe they like to drink from a bottle, or suck their thumb, or sleep in a crib. Those people are called Adult Babies or AB’s for short. So if a store is AB/DL aware then they at least know about AB/DL people and might have special products available just to please them.”
“We’re TB’s” Rick said pointing to Rob and back to him self.
“TB’s? “ I asked
“Teen Babies.” Rob continued “I will show you lot’s of websites where you can meet friends and people just like us.”
”So how’d you guys find this stuff out, is it common in Chicago?” I asked
“No I don’t think it’s common anywhere.” Aunt Sarah said
“It was my fault” Rob said. “Rick started wetting the bed when he was seven. And I felt attracted to the pull-ups Mom and Dad bought him. In fact I got caught stealing them and it really freaked Mom and Dad out”
“Well we had never heard of such things, so our first impression was Rob needed help. So we talked to a friend of ours, a psychologist, who we used as expert testimony from time to time. We asked him what he thought.” Aunt Sarah said.
“He brought us a ream of research, including many websites to look at, and he made it very clear there was nothing wrong with these types of feelings as long as it didn’t interfere with living a normal life. He explained that Rob should not be made to feel guilty or ashamed of the way he felt, as his diaper desires were a deep placed component of who he is. The psychological term for this kind of association is Vestic Paraphellia.” Uncle Steve continued before pausing to let his wife finish.
“We thought long and hard and finally concluded to take our colleagues advice and let Rob peruse this as he saw fit. After all, if we knew what Rob was doing we could monitor the situation and take control if things got out of hand, whereas if Rob was doing this behind our backs we would be powerless to do anything” Aunt Sarah ended with a smile for both of her boys.
“I suddenly didn’t mind my pull-ups, I had always liked them but I didn’t want anyone to know so I acted like I hated them. Once I knew I wasn’t weird, I wanted everything just like my big brother!” Rick said.
“So why did you guys think I was like that?” I asked looking at Rob and Aunt Sarah.
“We didn’t. Your Mom explained after we moved here that we couldn’t rush sleepovers because you wet and might be embarrassed. I had tried to explain to her that the boys here wet and we were used to dealing with it, but your mom figured you would be too embarrassed if you felt pushed into anything. Apparently you had a real bad time at a sleep over a few years ago.”
I nodded at this remembering the embarrassment of being the only wet boy out of the four of us. Kevin didn’t mind, we were still friends at that time, and BB and Glen never said a word beyond ‘it’s okay’. But it wasn’t okay for me. I can still remember Mr. Rosetick complaining loudly about the pissy smell in Kevin’s room.
“I took the boys aside that Friday night and explained to them that you might be nervous about wetting the bed and that we would offer you a diaper as a solution to deal with your wetting, but if you said no it meant no.” Aunt Sarah explained before adding “Honestly after the way your Mom had gone on, the last thing I expected was for you to agree.”
“So how’d you know to ask me on Saturday?” I asked Rob.
“Well the way you watched me get my diaper changed for one thing, you looked like you wanted one too. I’ve had friends see me get changed before and no one has ever had a look quite like yours. Then all night you kept looking at either mine or Rick’s diaper. When you went to sleep you were smiling and feeling your diaper. I do that too, so it wasn’t that hard to figure out.”
It was all beginning to make sense now. “So is that why you bought the extra diapers on Saturday, just so you could take them to my house for me?”
“Basically yes, I knew you would probably want to wear them at night for your wetting, and you Mom did seem real happy that you had found a solution to your problem. I don’t think she ever in a million years expected you to volunteer for diapers or I am certain she would have tried it when you first started wetting. That afternoon when I dropped the diapers off, I told her not to be surprised if you wanted to wear them sometimes during the day. I explained that many other boys with your problem, including my two, did the same.”
“So that’s why she went along with it so easily!” I said surprised and shocked at the how the whole thing had gone down. Everything I said must have dovetailed nicely into her expectations when we spoke about the Saturday Walt, Quentin and I met in the Target bathroom. “Did you tell her about AB and DL stuff?”
“No Todd, that might have been a little much all at once, don’t you think?” Aunt Sarah said soothingly
“I told her I liked them and wanted to wear sometimes, she said okay and acted happy for me.”
“I was certain she would be, she loves you very much and she was very worried that your wetting was keeping you from enjoying your self around your friends. She thought you might have even pushed friends away in the past because of your wetting.”
“Well I don’t know if I am ready to have BB or Glen spend the night anytime soon” I said.
“Why not?” Rob asked “BB and Glen stayed over Saturday night and I know they couldn’t have missed my diapers.”
“Or mine!” Rick put out all puffed with pride.
“Or yours eh? You need to go do your homework before it gets any later. Now get.” Aunt Sarah mockingly scolded her youngest.
Rick went to the playroom to do his homework leaving Rob and I along with Uncle Steve and Aunt Sarah at the kitchen table.
“So handsome, how’s my desk?” Aunt Sarah asked Uncle Steve.
“It’s finally all stripped and I will sand it down tomorrow. If we are lucky it will be ready to be stained by week’s end” Uncle Steve explained while he worked a paring knife around the peel of an apple.
Uncle Steve cut the apple into eighths and we each had a couple of pieces. Conversation stayed on the light end, Rob was excited about his essay being entered to win governor’s honors, Aunt Sarah had spent part of the day cleaning the office and pulling down wallpaper, and I told everyone about Walt and Quentin and going to the fair.
“So that man at Target the other day, that’s your Mothers new boyfriend?”
“Yes ma’am” Was what I told her, but an evil little voice wanted me to ask why she wanted to know. Was it so she could sleep with him too? I sometimes don’t know where things like that come from.
The phone rang and Aunt Sarah lifted the handset.
“Hello?”
“Yes, oh hi Matt, yes, just a moment.”
She set the phone down and stepped over to the stairs. “Rick, telephone! It’s Matt.”
“Coming!” Ricks’ distant voice called out from upstairs.
Aunt Sarah picked back up the phone “He’ll be here in just a moment. Matt, is something wrong?”
Rick appeared and held his hand out for the phone.
Covering the receiver with one hand Aunt Sarah told him “I think something’s wrong so you can talk longer than 10 minutes if you need to” before handing him the handset.
“Hey Matt… Uh huh… No way… He didn’t… No… So are you in trouble?” Rick said sounding more worried by the moment. “No... It’s okay… No... We can talk about it at school tomorrow… Will you... No... Dude... It’s gonna be okay… okay… Call back when you can. Bye:
When Rick hung the phone up he looked almost sick to his stomach.
“What’s wrong?” Aunt Sarah asked.
“Kevin, Matt’s older brother, was going through Matt’s room and found his Goodnites he had got from me. Kevin showed his parents and now they are all freaked out. Matt’s dad already spanked him once.”
“Oh dear. The poor thing he must be devastated” Aunt Sarah said with her voice filled with compassion and sympathy.
She picked up the phone and after dialing said “Hello Kevin, Is your Momma in?... Thank You… Anelda? I just heard about a little problem with our boys and I wanted to see what I could do to fix it before things got out of hand. Rick just came to me, upset as can be about poor Matt getting in trouble all on account of him. Yeah, well Rick has this bad habit of thinking if he gives his diapers away he won’t have to wear them. It’s happened more than once that he has hidden some of his diapers in his friend’s backpacks thinking that if we run out then he won’t have any more to wear. It’s gotten so bad we keep an extra pack in the trunk of the car.. No No. Anelda, not at all. No. I’m sure if your boy did anything wrong it was only in trying to help his friend, and that’s not anything you want to punish too harshly, now is it? Well I’m certain the spanking is punishment enough for the boy.” Suddenly Aunt Sarah got the most wicked grin on her face. “Of course at that age it’s hard to know if any lesson sinks in, maybe if ha actually had to wear them for a while he would think twice before “helping” Rick next time. I absolutely think it work. Of course… I will. Uhh-huh. Bye bye.”
After Aunt Sarah hung up the handset Rick was smiling at ear to ear “Thanks Mom! That was the greatest! “
“It was pretty good, but Rick, I should not have been put in that position to begin with! I told you no when you asked about lending him some of your goodnights, and I had told you no for this very reason. I said he could wear here, and if anything ever came of it we could say he was wearing so you wouldn’t feel bad. But letting him take some home, that’s just irresponsible!”
“You’re right, and I’m sorry. But how else was he supposed to get them? It’s not fair.”
“Lot’s of things aren’t fair, Rick. Not everyone has parents that can or will understand this, and this certainly isn’t the best way to approach them”
“I know, it’s just, he wanted them that’s all”
“Yes Rick, but no is still no. Now go finish your homework and when you are done write an apology to Matt for disobeying us and getting both of you in trouble.”
“Yes Mom” Rick said before heading back upstairs, tail between his legs.
Mom got to Aunt Sarah’s about fifteen minutes later to take me home.
“You guys sure you can’t stay for dinner? Steve is cooking tonight so it should be edible at least” Aunt Sarah asked Mom
“I wish we could, but I got laundry to finish tonight and some samples to set up in the lab”
“Well call me when you get home, if you get a chance. I have some stuff to ask you” Aunt Sarah said. The sisters hugged and Mom herded me toward the door “Don’t forget your books Todd” She reminded me.
I hugged Aunt Sarah extra hard before leaving, grateful for what she had done for me and even for what she had done for Matt.
“Night everyone! Thanks Aunt Sarah and Uncle Steve. Night Rob see you tomorrow at school. Tell Rick I said good night,” I said before stepping out the back door where Mom had the car idling.