Chapter 6 – All’s Fair in Love and War
Mom got me up and I went straight to the bathroom to shower. I ripped off my soggy diaper and rolled it up and tossed it in the trash. I showered pretty quick and then brushed my teeth. I peered in the mirror to see if I was getting any whiskers yet, but no such luck. I wrapped a towel around me a headed back to my room.
No sooner had I gotten to my room than Mom stuck her head in my door “Morning, kiddo! I put you out a new bag on your bed in case you wanted to take some supplies with you today. Your choice. Don’t forget to wear comfy shoes. You’ll be walking a lot, too.”
She was gone in a heartbeat as if the exchange was perfectly routine; like most mothers have to tell their teenage sons they gave them a new diaper bag (well I suppose the lucky ones do). I looked at the bag; it was a small travel backpack, similar to a miniature duffle or a very small gym bag. Mom must have gotten it for her new job and all the travel she anticipated. Well not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth I grabbed the remaining diapers from the pack and stuffed them into the bag. I would have to ask mom to stop at the store so we can get small travel size powder and wipes like the ones in Rob’s diaper bag. For something as simple as a diaper bag I sure was happy. I decided to put my last pair of clean plastic pants in the bag, too, I had decided to not wear plastic pants today as it was going to be hot but I guess having a pair in my bag would help me ‘be prepared’.
As much as I had enjoyed Mom diapering me, I came to two conclusions. The first being that I would have to learn to diaper myself, there wasn’t always going to be someone around to assist. The second was that Mom had made it clear she was helping during my trial period, I guess she didn’t feel it was terribly appropriate. So I pulled off my towel, which I was still wearing and spread it out on my bed, no sense in getting the changing pad out when this towel would work just the same. I got a diaper from my closet and unfolded it. I lay down on my back and pulling my knees to my chest I slipped the diaper under my butt. I taped it getting the tapes pretty tight. I ran a finger through the leg bands to make sure the gathers were in my crotch.
I pulled on a pair of jeans and t-shirt and went so see what was for breakfast. After we ate (Pop Tarts - woohoo) we got in the car to drive into Jerson where we were going to meet Walt and Quentin. Mom had agreed to stop at the store so I could finish out my diaper bag. On the drive I had further time to ponder the consequences of my actions and as we neared Jerson I asked Mom “What does Walt think about my diapers?”
“I don’t know, he didn’t say much beyond the fact you were changing when he saw you. A boy your age in diapers is a very curious thing after all. But I think he assumes you need them and I think the fact that you handled yourself so casually only reinforced that opinion. “
“But if I only wear them sometimes won’t he wonder why?” I asked back
“I am sure of it Todd, but he doesn’t need to know anything you don’t want to tell him and Walt seems to much of a gentleman to pry into the private affairs an upstanding young man such as your self. And besides, think of it this way, Walt and I might breakup or we might have a relationship that goes nowhere and in that case what he thinks or doesn’t think won’t matter at all. On the other hand if we do have a serious relationship and maybe someday get married, then he would certainly have to accept your choices as part of the deal.”
“Uh huh,” I said not entirely convinced but unable to find any immediate fault to her argument.
We made pleasant conversation the rest of the way into town, Mom talked some about the site in Oregon and how she was likely to have to go back soon for another trip. “It’s summer break soon and you can come with me on some of my trips if you like.”
“I’d love, too!” I had never been out of Alabama except once to Georgia to go to Six Flags and once to see some of my father’s relatives when I was still a baby.
We pulled up at an old fashioned drug store, the kind that had the counter for what must have been soda fountain way back in the old days. Mom and I got out of the car and made our way into the store. Just inside the door were greeting cards on one side and durable medical supplies on the other. The soda fountain now served as a cashier’s checkout and pharmacy pickup.
A pretty girl, probably college age, saw us come in and greeted us with a “Good morning, Can I help ya’ll find something?”
“I think we can find it just fine, but thank you,” Mom answered her as she steered me towards the durable medical supplies.
We found the incontinence section and Mom told me to go ahead and pick out some diapers that we might as well see what brands I like. So I picked out a package of Attends, a package of Prevail overnights, a package of IntaCares. The store had no pull ups, so Mom promised that next time we were out and we saw some we would pick them up. Mom selected a pack of travel wipes, some diaper rash cream, and the smallest can of powder they had.
We walked the supplies to the checkout and while mom put the wipes, powder and cream up on the counter, I put the packages of diapers right beside them. The girl began ringing things up and in an attempt to make idle chatter she asked, “Someone’s gramma must be coming to visit right?”
This took me off guard and apparently Mom was too as the resulting silence was awkward creating a palpable tension in the air. I was suddenly overcome with a nervous fidgety feeling and I rocked back and forth from one foot to the other and only after transferring my weight back and forth a few times did I realize it was causing my diaper to crackle. In the stillness of that moment it seemed impossibly loud.
The cashier must have heard it, too; a look of understanding crossed her face. She tried to recover by pretending not to have heard saying that “My granny would come to see us each summer.” She really thought on her feet, but her offered explanation and opportunity at anonymity didn’t do much to lessen my anxiety.
I had at that moment an epiphany of sorts. I saw us coming back here from time to time in the future, or other similar places, where we would likely see the same faces with each visit. So there really was no sense in pretending. I mustered my courage up, took a deep breath and managed to make my vocal cords work.
“That’s okay, they’re mine and I don’t mind that you know” I told her.
I felt a squeeze of encouragement on my shoulder and realized Mom had put her arm across my shoulders in an unconscious move to comfort me.
The girl smiled to me “I won’t tell anyone”
Then she said to us in an almost conspirator tone. “My name is Cheryl” She pointed to her name badge which not so surprisingly said “Cheryl”
“My dad owns this store and I am studying to be a pharmacist” Cheryl continued, “If there is anything ya’ll need and we don’t have it, I have a big old catalog we can order things from. In fact I will put one in your bag for you to take home and you can just call us when you need something and we will order it for you right away”
“Well, thank you for your help, Cheryl” Mom told her as she paid for my supplies.
Mom gathered up the small bag and one pack of diapers from the counter, leaving the other two packs for me.
“Thank you,” I told Cheryl smiling and inexplicably happy. I picked up the other two packs of diapers and followed Mom back to the car.
We put the diapers in the trunk and the little shopping bag in the front of car so I could finish loading out my diaper bag. Everything fit in the bag neat enough and it didn’t look like a diaper bag at all.
As we got back on the road I found that I was getting increasingly excited about the fair, I had only been to Six Flags the one time so even fair and carnival rides seemed like a big deal to me. We found Walt and Quentin were already waiting for us in the parking lot of Target. Walt drove a mini van similar to Aunt Sarah’s but this one had a DVD player in it which was nice. Walt opened the front door for Mom and she climbed into the passenger seat. Quentin had thrown open the sliding door for me and stepped up and in. I put my bag down between our two seats.
“What’s in the bag?” Quentin asked
“Umm, stuff” Was all I could manage, somehow I could face a pretty college aged girl about my diapers but explaining that I had a diaper bag to six year old was just too much. So in an interest of knocking off conversation I reached for and closed the sliding door before sitting down in my seat and buckling my seat belt.
As I sat down Quentin had apparently heard my diaper, his eyes lit up and he leaned over to tell me all matter-of-factly, “Your wearing diapers!”
“Quentin! Remember what we talked about?” Walt reminded the boy having heard the boy from the front seat. It occurred to me Walt must have anticipated just such an exchange and been listening for it.
“I’m sorry” Quentin said back to his father.
“It’s not me who you owe the apology, too”
Quentin looked at me and with all the conviction of someone who is being forced to apologize for something they realize they did, but don’t quite see any fault to it, told me “I’m Sorry”
“It’s okay,” I told him and with my acceptance he brightened back up “I brought my Gameboy, see? He told me showing me his Gameboy before becoming lost in the game he was playing.
Quentin soon lost interest in his Gameboy and asked Walt to put a DVD on for us to watch. Walt started the Finding Nemo for us, I love Pixar movies and hope someday to work as an animator. Well, just about the time when Nemo’s dad is meeting the turtles we got close enough to see Birmingham off the distance.
“Almost there!” Walt called out since the fair was actually just outside of B-ham.
“And not a single ‘are we there yet?’, either,” Mom commented
“That’s because DVD players in cars are marvelous things,” Walt laughed.
“Are we there yet?” Quentin whined as if on cue.
We pulled into a large field and followed the directions of the parking attendant. The field was already filled with cars and we had to walk a long distance to get to the fair grounds. I could see the Ferris wheel from the line at the gates and it was enormous.
We finally got to the ticket windows and Walt bought 3 adults and 1 child’s ticket along with rider passes for all four of us. The gate opened into a queue just to enter the fairgrounds. Large signs posted at either side of the entrance proclaiming the don’ts of the fair. No alcohol, must wear shoes, no firearms, no pets except animals being shown, standard crap like that.
We got to the front of the line where a security guard was looking through any bag package or purse being brought into the fair. Quentin and Walt walked on through the turnstile while Mom handed the guard her purse and he flipped it open gave it a lethargic once over and waved mom through. Mom met up with Walt and Quentin on the other side and I walked through to join them.
“Sir. Your backpack, please” the guard said to me as I walked by.
Ouch – you mean he needs to look through my bag, too? I should have seen that coming. I suppose I looked a bit panicked as Mom stepped back over to the turnstile.
“My pack?” I asked stalling for time.
“Todd, let the man see your pack please,” she told me before telling the guard “Sir, please don’t open it all the way, he has personal medical items in there”
The guard just hrumphed at us both when I handed him my backpack. He unzipped it enough to see inside, didn’t bat an eye and with a bored motion zipped the pack back up and handed it to me.
“Thank you, sir,” I said when he handed my pack to me.
“Have a good day at the fair,” the guard replied and motioned me through the turnstile.
Just inside the gate a greeter was giving a newspaper-looking program for the fair and a map. We looked at the map and of course the thing, which drew my attention, was the midway area. Quentin was excited about the rides too, but I think he wanted to see some animals too.
“Before we get going do you need to go potty?” Walt asked Quentin pointing to the restroom here at the entrance.
“Yes sir,” Quentin replied and with that he and Walt were off to the restroom.
“You holding up there?” Mom asked nodding her head at me.
“Yup” I said knowing my diaper was sweatier than wet. It was going to be a hot one that was for sure.
Quentin and Walt came back out a few moments later and we headed for the midway. Quentin didn’t want to ride anything that looked scary, and Mom and Walt only rode things like the carousel and the Ferris wheel. I rode everything I could; if any of us got our moneys worth out of the riders pass it was me.
We had just finished a late snacky meal-type thing. It was later than lunch but not enough for dinner. We were getting up from the table and throwing our trash in the cans when Walt whispered to me “Looks like you either sat in something or you sprung a little leaking.”
I looked down and the front of my pants seemed fine to me. I felt and they didn’t even seem damp.
“No the back near your thighs” Walt told me as I reached around and sure enough felt two wet patches at the back of each leg. My diaper didn’t seem terribly wet, but I had wet it a little here and there. I walked back to the table and looked at the bench where I had been setting and it didn’t look like there was anything there. I grabbed my backpack and headed to the restrooms.
The nice thing about the Birmingham fairgrounds is that they are permanent; the fair is here each year. That means they have real restrooms and while still dirty and not pleasant places they were light-years better than porta-johns. I waited for the handicap stall to become available as I figured I would need the extra room and I quickly as I could changed my diaper. Hot or not, I wasn’t entirely sure these diapers Aunt Sarah bought were up to the task so I also pulled out my plastic pants now thank full to have packed them.
I’ve learned many a lesson, and that day was no exception. I made a strong mental not to forget that in the future I should pack snap on over-pants next time I decide to not wear them from the beginning. I had thrown pull on pants in my bag and now I had to remove my shoes and my jeans. Believe me I wasn’t happy about letting my socks touch the floor of the stall and I had to hang my jeans on the coat hook. I pulled on the pants and tucked them over my diaper before pulling back on my jeans. I really need to talk to Mom about getting some bigger jeans too when we bought summer clothes. I rolled up my old diaper and taped it up into a ball before throwing it away and leaving the restroom.
The evening was as much fun if not more. There is something magical about a fair at night when the midway lights up. We saw a couple of shows and of course we had to see the prize animals for Quentin. I wasted a week’s allowance trying to win something on the ball toss. Stupid game was probably rigged.
We left about 9:30 and walked back to the van all of tired and exhausted. The drive home there was no need for a DVD as Quentin was out like a light his snores oddly deep for such a little guy. I think I dozed off too, because before I knew it we were back at target and getting ready to leave. We decided to just let Quentin sleep rather than making him say goodnight so Walt walked mom to her car door where they hugged briefly.
“Thank you for taking us!” I told Walt as Mom clicked my door unlocked. I threw my diaper bag into the back seat and sat down.
“I had a great time tonight,” Mom said
“I did, too. That was a lot of fun, but I wish the fair were closer to home”
“Well I’m about to burst! I’ve got to pee and I need to stop for gas” Mom said driving across the target parking lot to the Texaco that shares the same lot.
I got out and pumped gas, which the sign said was illegal since I was under 16 but it’s not the kind of thing they lock a lot of kids up for.
“You need something to drink?” Mom offered before going inside to pay.
“A Coke please”
“Anything else?” she prompted.
“No thanks. I’m going to use the restroom too before we leave.”
“Okay, I’ll pull the car up to the door while you use the restroom if I get done first,” she said as she was walking into the store.
I finished pumping gas and replaced the gas cap. I grabbed my backpack from the backseat and headed inside. My diaper wasn’t terribly wet yet but I decided to change it anyways since I had to poop. I had no desire to poop my diaper especially not in the closed confines of a car and I just couldn’t imagine pulling back on a wet diaper.
Mom was waiting for me by the door and we were back on the road and headed home. We were both quiet on the ride home. I don’t know what had me in such an introspective mood but I sat there thinking about how much had changed over the last week. How in such a short period of time I had come to think of wearing diapers for the rest of my life. What was I thinking? It scared me a bit to be honest. I knew I couldn’t wear them to school but with only a week left in the school year and summer on the horizon it didn’t seem like that big of an issue.
I was still lost in thought when we got home.
“Penny for your thoughts,” Mom offered as she unlocked the door.
I sighed, it was nice to be home “nothing much just thinking.”
“Oh just thinking, are you?” Mom laughed “Thinking! In a 15 year old boy of all things!”
I loved it when Mom called me 15 even though my birthday was still 3 weeks off. She continued belting out in her southern belle in distress voice she uses for sarcasm “I swear Todd you are far too serious for your own good. Why when you were little you didn’t think about anything or anyone. A real firecracker you were, or filled with piss and vinegar, as your Grandpa Arlen would have said.”
Grandpa Arlen was my dad’s dad and I don’t remember him at all. He died soon after my dad did and that was all before I was two years old. Grandma Arlen, or Grand Arlen as she liked to be called, was still most defiantly alive. . Now Ellen Arlen was a woman who was full of piss and vinegar. She smoked cigars, cursed like a sailor and loved to gamble. She wasn’t the apple pie and knitting booties kind of grandma, but Grand Arlen always had kind words for her grandson and she always had some of the most exciting stories to tell. She spends most of each year working for a senior tour company, which goes to a different city or destination each month. She takes off thanksgiving to see us each year but other than that Grand Arlen lives on the road.
After hanging my diaper bag on the back of the doorknob in my room I went back outside and got the rest of my diapers from the trunk. I returned to my room and stacked the diaper packs in my closet. I wasn’t sure which brand to try next and I was anxious to try another brand of diapers. I knew the store brand Aunt Sarah gave me was kind of weak, I just wish I had paid more attention to the diapers I wore that first night at their house. I settled on wearing the prevail overnights next so I grabbed them from my closet. I was going to put them in the footlocker at the end of my bed but then I remembered Rick’s diapers had been placed at the end of his bed and I decided to do the same. It’s not like I have friends over very often and I can put them up if someone is coming. I felt a small rush seeing the package at the end of my bed nestled into the corner between bed and footlocker.
“Todd, would you come here for a minute please?” Mom called to me.
“Be right there!” I called back as I looked for her finding her in my bathroom.
“You are probably out of plastic pants, aren’t you? “ Mom asked/
“Yup, I’m wearing my last pair right now. I put the others in my hamper.”
“It doesn’t work that way, sport” Mom said looking at me with her hands on her hips. “Just like your sheets, your plastic pants are your responsibility and they can’t be washed in the washer. Now go gather them up and bring them in here, please. I will show you how to clean them.”
I was headed back to my room when she added the afterthought “Might as well take those you are wearing off, too”
I dug in my hamper and pulled the pants out before removing my clothes and pulling down the plastic pants I was wearing. I threw my shirt and jeans in the hamper enjoying the moment of just standing in my diaper the ac feeling nice against my skin. But I had things to do so I pulled on a pair of fleece shorts and made my way back to the bathroom.
Mom pulled back the shower curtain and told me to just drop the pants in the tub, which is what I did.
“First, make sure and wash them inside and out. Also when changing, try not to get oil or powder on your plastic pants or they will ruin. Then shake the excess water off and turn them inside out to dry.”
Mom then demonstrated. She started some warm water and proceeded to wash the pant under the spigot. She shook the excess water off and then turned it inside out before setting it on the tubs ledge to dry. Turned inside out the plastic pants, was puffed out like it was being worn.
“Now you can just hang your snap-ons here on the shower rod and let them dry,” she told me,
I washed the remaining pants out and set them all up to dry just like I had been show. Mom nodded her head approvingly “Very good, Todd, you should probably do this frequently throughout the week to make sure you have clean plastic pants and the better you take care of them the longer they will last. Let them sit with sweat and urine on them and they will become brittle and breakdown.”
“Yes ma’am, I understand,” And for the most part I did, I wasn’t crazy about having my plastic pants on display in the bathroom, but considering I had just gone out of my way to display my diaper package I had to ponder at what made this different.
Mom left and I went to follow her until I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My image caught me off guard. There I was with slightly bulged gym shorts with telltale diaper wings sticking from the top of the waistband. To think someone, my mother at that, had just been in the same room with me dressed like this! The image was so appropriate, so representative of how I felt and powerfully erotic. My erection strained the inside of my diaper and I found myself almost running to my bedroom to relive myself.
I closed my door and threw my changing pad onto the bed. I opened my nightstand and set my powder and oil on the nightstand. I went ahead and grabbed a fresh diaper from the new bag and set it down on my bed. My hands had already begun to shake and my hard on felt like it was going to tear through my diaper. I managed to push my shorts down to my knees as I lay back. I undid the tapes on one side of my diaper and I freed myself with the full intention of masturbating like there was no tomorrow. Within mere seconds of touching my self I erupted furiously with intensity I had never felt before. I used my loosened diaper to wipe myself clean before I finished undoing the other tapes and grabbing a wipe from the package.
In the moment I lay there catching my breath, my diaper undone but still covering my groin, I examined the new diaper. The Prevail overnight was much thicker than the MaxCare store brand diapers I had been wearing. The tapes were printed too, with x’s on them rather than being just solid white. I waited a moment or two longer before cleaning off with the wipe. I then stood up then and pored oil into my hand and massaged it into my diaper area. I wiped the excess oil of my hand with another wipe, which I then tossed into the soiled diaper. I pulled the Prevail up into my crotch and tapped it on. The fit was fantastic and the thickness was perfect. I balled the old diaper and put my changing stuff up. I yanked my gym shorts back up and made sure that I had little tufts of plastic sticking up on the sides like earlier.
I noticed my bedroom trash was getting full awfully quick and the culprit was diapers. So I pulled the can liner out tied the bag off. I took the bag to the garage where I tossed the whole thing into the big garbage can the trash people empty. I got a new trashcan liner and went back to my room to replace it. I sat down at my desk and powered up my computer. While Windows was loading I noticed the catalog we had gotten at the pharmacy and I began to thumb through it until I came to the incontinence section. I was disappointed to say the least. They had no plastic pants to speak of, and certainly none as cool as mine with the fire trucks on them. They only a couple of kinds of diapers in there and they didn’t even look worth wearing. The catalog described them as cost saving, which even at my age I knew meant cheap. Come on! The store itself had better selection than this sorry thing. That led me to wonder exactly were Aunt Sarah got the plastic pants for my cousins and where she got their diapers too to boot. I know the MaxCares were an emergency purchase as they were defiantly not what we wore Friday night. I made up my mind to call her tomorrow and ask. Windows had finally loaded, but I had already decided to just go to bed and read for a bit.