Summary: Ten year old backslides from being a big boy to a toddler to a 
baby.
                                   BACKSLIDER

	My name is Don. I just had my ninth birthday last week. I am very 
small in size. My seven-year-old brother Ryan is much bigger than me. I 
wear size 4 boys’ clothes he wears size 10. My three-and-a-half year-
old brother Billy wears size 4. We also share our shirts but not pants. 
I have wet my bed all my life and have problems keeping my pants dry 
during the day. I am smart in school, doing tenth-grade school work. I 
do not fit in with the high school kids because of my size. The kids in 
my age group kids don’t want me around because of my small size, too.
	At the end of the school year I will graduate to eleventh grade 
in school. I will be happy because I will not have to go to school 
again for a few years and get teased about things I can’t do. 
Summertime is coming. It will be fun time because I like to play with 
toys more than anything in the world; even baby toys are fun for me. 
Because of my size and being very immature for a twelve year old I 
socially fit in better with kids not yet in kindergarten.
	Mom asked me what class at daycare I wanted to go to, Billy’s or 
Ryan’s. I thought for a while. Because of my size I would fit in with 
my seven-year-old brother’s age group of 6-, 7-, and 8-year-olds’ size. 
My brother knew my bedwetting and pants-wetting secret so I chose to go 
with Billy’s age group at daycare. I could still have fun with toys 
there. In the class for 2-, 3-, and 4-year-olds they had very strict 
potty rules. I knew nothing about their strict rules. I was potty 
trained. I did not need potty rules. I was a big boy, not a baby, even 
if I do wet the bed. Big boys wet the bed sometimes, don’t they? When I 
entered the room they told me about the potty times in toddler class. 
Potty times were restricted to every two hours. You had to learn to 
hold your potty needs until it was potty time to be a big boy.
	The first day at daycare I walked in the room with my two-year-
old brother in front of me. As we entered the room everyone not 
diapered had to line up in front of the potty room. I realize for the 
first time my brother was potty trained in line too. Before everyone 
had their turn at the potty they had a pants check when it came to me 
my pants were checked making me feel like a toddler I tried to tell 
them I was a big boy and did not need potty training. After my pants 
were checked I went in the potty room and peed in the potty now it was 
playtime.
	We played for almost an hour when I got up needing to go pee. I 
found the door locked I asked to go potty that is when I found out 
about the potty rules. I told them I was a big boy and did not need the 
stupid potty rules I was already potty trained I don’t need to follow 
the baby’s rules. They told me if I was in this toddler class I had to 
follow all the rules, even the baby rules. I quietly walked back to my 
play straining not wet but pee started to come out into my thick 
trainings pants warming them soon my pants were soaked. I played like 
nothing happened with a diapered little boy in the corner of the room. 
He did not care if I was wearing wet pants. He was a baby. I played 
with him so no one would see my wet pants. Then they called us all for 
pants check time so we could use the potty. I could not hide as they 
went around checking everyone’s pants except the diaper babies.
	They found me hiding under a crib with wet pants. They quickly 
ushered me to the changing table where my pants were removed my bottom 
cleaned and a thick pair of plastic training pants put on me. I was 
lifted off the changing table and told to go play it happen to me so 
fast. One minute I thought I was a big boy then I was turned into a 
toddler in training. I slowly walked over to the play area to start to 
play. The other kids did not even giggle or laugh at me. I just started 
to play again thinking what just happened to me. I asked my brother 
what happened. He told me about the potty rules is you can only use the 
potty at potty times you need to learn to hold it like a big boy.
	I asked. What if I got to poop? He told me potty time only. I was 
in trouble. I need to poop and poop now. I tried to hold my poop until 
they called potty time. It seemed like hours while I played with the 
Fisher-Price cars and trucks. I was so relieved when they had us line 
up for potty time until I found out that those in plastic training 
pants are last to use the potty.
	They said if you can’t hold it you are just a baby you have to 
prove you are a big boy. It seemed like it took forever. My brother was 
first in line of six other kids’ before me. Then it was time for the 
kid in front of me as the three-old was using the potty I lost my 
battle holding my poop. Poop went into my pants slowly at because I was 
holding back so hard then the warm mess started to droop my pants. When 
the kid left the potty room I saw his training pants were gone now. He 
was wearing regular shorts and underpants; he was a big kid now. My 
turn at last. They did the usual pants check before my potty time. They 
found me wet and messy without a word. I was led to the changing table. 
I started to cry just like a toddler, saying it was and accident as 
they put me on the changing table. They strapped me on the changing 
table, smashing the poop against my butt and up between my legs and 
into the front of my training pants. It took five minutes to clean me 
up, but to me it was hours. The thick training pants I had got replaced 
by a very thick diaper and plastic pants.
	Again, it happened so fast, just like when I lost my thin 
training pants when I started the day in this class. I was in training 
pants one minute the next I was in real diapers and plastic pants. I 
had to go back to playtime with the toddlers I felt so weird with the 
diapers and plastic pants on. Billy told me that poop in your pants 
means I just failed potty class for a while. He said he failed a lot at 
first. It takes a long time to get your training pants back.
	I asked them when I could get my big boy clothes back they told 
me when I can keep my diaper dry for two hours. I said I was ten and 
was potty trained and don’t need potty training. They told me only 
potty-trained kids can stay dry for two hours or more. If you cannot 
stay dry two hours you are not potty trained; you are potty-convenient 
trained.
	They told me I would stay diapered until I could prove I was 
ready to be potty trained by holding my bathroom needs for at least two 
and a half hours. There were two other diapered boys in my all boy 
class. They were Sammy and Mikey they were both about twenty months 
old. The other kids in our class called them the diaper boys but it was 
not in a teasing way; it was just a fact. Now they call me the big 
diaper boy again, not to be teasing, just a fact. My brother still 
called me Donny and tried to help me all he could, but wearing nothing 
but diapers and a T-shirt. I could not be helped that much.
	When I got home mom continued my baby treatment by making me use 
all of Billy’s baby things-- crib, highchair, playpen, car seat, and 
any other thing she had. I was now the family baby. What could I? do I 
can not hold my pee or poop like most two-year-olds. I had trouble 
fitting in with kids over the age of four. I like to play with toys so 
it would be a long time before I would like to be a big boy again. 
Being in diapers let me play longer because I did not have to run to 
the potty every few minutes. I just let go in my diaper. Someone would 
take care of it later. That is how I was turned on to using my diapers, 
at first it was a punishment, now it is convenient. When I turned 
fourteen I was taught to change my own diaper. Now I am older diaper 
changes are done without anyone the wiser; it is my secret. I poop 99% 
of the time in the morning at home but accidents do happen. No adults 
have discovered my secret, but a few times a toddler (kid under five) 
asked me if I was wearing a diaper. They somehow know!!!