Aden’s Fall
By Baby Jake (2007-2009)
(Story III:
Chapter
Nineteen: Tension
Chapter
Twenty: At First Sight
Chapter
Twenty-One: At the Lunch Table
Chapter
Twenty-Two: Hidden in Plain View
Chapter
Twenty-Three: A New Day
Chapter
Twenty-Four: Sarah
Chapter
Twenty-Five: The Day That Changed Everything
Part One: Collateral Damage
Part Two: Panic Attack
Chapter
Twenty-Six: Fall Outro
Fall
“The Fall”
Thank you,
Lukie, and Blake.
And every single person who has shown and expressed genuine interest in
It may not
have happened with the e-mails, comments, PMs, and continued persistence from
loyal fans and readers.
-
Baby Jake
Notice:
The following story is the sequel to
“Chapter Nineteen, Tension”
“Good morning,
My eyes were heavy, and I was disoriented. Yet, at the same time – I was full of energy, and life. The world around me was blindingly bright, as light poured through the windows in the room.
Peeking between the thick wooden bars that surrounded me and kept me secure, I suddenly felt overwhelmingly excited. As my mom walked through the doorway that was on the opposite side of the room as me – I felt so incredibly overwhelmed with glee to see her. Nothing in the world could make me happier to see her walk through.
“Good mornin’ mommy!!!” I replied ecstatically.
Her smile was sweet, and she extended her arms out towards me, as I suddenly felt the urge to jump up and down from the excitement, as I knew she was about to pick me up and hold me.
“How was your sleep, widdle’ baby
It made me giggle as she put her hands underneath my arms, and scooped me up right from the crib that I was standing in. Something about her picking me up… I felt so safe… so secure…. so… at peace.
Nothing – NOTHING – else mattered right now.
“Ohhh you’re heavy” she said, as she sat me on the ground.
I giggled as she sat me down on my small little butt on the hardwood floor, and said nothing as I watched my mom stick her finger gently down the front of my diaper.
I was, after all – wearing nothing but a diaper.
“Oh
I didn’t really understand what she meant… but she was excited, so I was excited too.
“I think soon, you’ll be able to
take off those diapers… you’re gonna be a big boy,
Wait… what did she say? Out of my diapers? Now I didn’t like the thought of that!
“Hehe… no mommy I want to stay in them… I like them!” I said, explaining to her.
“You wanna be a big boy?” she said to me, smiling.
“Yeah mommy!” I felt so, so happy, and cheerful. I was so eager!
I turned my head and saw my crib… and my changing table. My things were all over the place – my toys, my stuffed animals. A bookcase nearby was filled with my favorite stories, and my favorite movies. Bright, fun colors were all around me. This was my sanctuary.
“I want to be a big boy” I said.
I was very eager to grow up!
“Well then we need to get you out of those diapers” she said to me.
“But I don’t want to…” I replied, kind of whining. I stuck my finger in my mouth, and curled it around my lower lip.
Suddenly, the thought of growing up wasn’t so exciting.
“Do you want to be a big boy?” she asked once again.
“Yeah…” I said happily… I felt… infantile.
“Then we need to get you out of those baby diapers and put you into big boy underwear!” she said gleefully.
“But I don’t wanna…” I said again…
“…now
Her tone was suddenly much stricter, and her voice sounded differently. Her voice… it sounding like that – it sent chills down my spine. There was an explosion in my chest… heat… like when your heart skips a beat.
“…wha?” I asked.
My face was buzzing suddenly. Something was coming over me!
“
I looked up at her with a sad expression, and it suddenly felt as if I was levitating off the ground! I felt so incredibly light… the room… it didn’t seem real!
“
The words went through one ear and out the other, and I paid really no attention what-so-ever. Then, there was the sound of banging.
My nursery around me became blurry and skewed; fading away – and before I knew it, I saw nothing but blackness.
…this was actually the inside of my eyelids.
I was dreaming, obviously – and my mom was banging on the door to wake me up for some reason. I thought nothing of it though… I was way too tired… I needed sleep… I mumbled something even I didn’t understand, and rolled around in my bed, putting a pillow over my head, doing my best to simply return to whatever that dream was that I was having. It was nice there…
“Wake up
“I am up” I said, but I said it very quietly.
“I’m giving you 10 seconds before I come in there” I heard.
“Yeah… whatever…” I thought.
I was so tired, and was dazing in and out of consciousness. I felt so incredibly exhausted… like I had slept for two, even three years… maybe even four years! I didn’t think a thing about my mom counting down from 10 as warning that she was about to walk into my room.
Wait… she was about to walk into my room!
I felt the burn in my chest as adrenaline kicked in. I opened my eyes, sat up fast, and looked at the door.
“2, 1…” I heard my mom say from behind the door.
Before I could say anything, I heard the doorknob turning and the door about to open.
I didn’t know what to do as I felt panic shooting through my head, as I was now instantly awake. I smacked my bare chest as I grabbed a necklace I was wearing, and without thinking, tore the damn thing off from around my neck, and swung it under my blanket.
And there was my Mom, standing in the doorway… having not seen a thing – staring right at me.
“You don’t want to be late on the first day. Come on, I made you breakfast” she said to me in a nice, calm tone.
I looked at her, my heart throbbing. I sighed… shook my head… and collapsed back onto the mattress.
“Yeah… yeah… I’ll uh… I’ll be right there” I said, clearing my throat halfway through my sentence.
She looked at me with a strange expression, but then shut my door, and I could hear her walk down the steps.
Now in the privacy of my bedroom, I let out a loud exhale of relief… and pulled out that necklace I tore off from around my neck, and looked at it.
It was thin, very light, quite colorful… but also snapped. But it was still holding what I was trying to keep out of sight from my mom… a blue and red pacifier.
It was an incredibly close call… way too close for my own comfort. If I was only a second slower, I’d have been caught with the pacifier hanging inches from my face. And it would’ve been entirely my fault for not locking the door in the first place.
This was not a good way to start my morning, indeed.
---
It was a chilly, windy, grey, and stormy morning as I walked in the cold rain to my bus-stop. I was half-awake and hardly coherent as I eventually got to the crowd of people standing at the corner waiting to be picked up.
There were kids of many ages. Some elementary, some my age – and a few older, in high school. Out of all the kids there… I only saw one that was familiar to me.
“Hey Seth” I said, walking up to him.
I had a pretty perky sound to my voice, despite how tired I was.
He gave me a head nod, in reply.
“Sup” he replied uncaringly.
I shrugged…
“Same as ever” I replied back.
He nodded and maintained his blank, emotionless expression without even blinking, just kind of staring off. It was that ‘cool guy’ look, when you know you’re awesome. He wasn’t really looking at me… and was kind of making me feel unwelcome. Whether or not that was actually his intention I did not know. I almost walked away before he suddenly asked a question.
“What’d you do all weekend?” he asked.
I shrugged…
“Sat around, played videogames, did stuff on the computer, and uhhh…” I said – cutting myself off before I was about to say…
“Went to Brian’s and Daniel’s house?” he asked with a bit of a sharp tone. Now he was staring right at me… he had kind of an angry expression.
I nodded, and he just shrugged.
“That’s cool… I guess” Seth said, staring back off into space.
“It was alright. We sat around and hung out. You should hang out with us sometime” I invited, but he just shook his head.
“Nah… I’ll pass… thanks” Seth said. I could tell he was sarcastic in thanking me for the offer.
Not knowing quite what to say, I just shrugged too and chuckled.
“Suit yourself” I said.
He rolled his eyes, and that’s when our bus came. It rolled up, and Seth and I, along with all the other kids waiting there, all got on. Seth and I walked to our usual seat, and began talking about all kinds of things – except things about Brian and Daniel, which kind of added this uneasy tension during the whole conversation for me.
I wanted nothing more than for things to be the same between Seth, myself, Brian and Daniel. It’s been little over a few weeks now since Brian and Seth had stopped talking to each other for honestly no good reason, and I couldn’t stand it. There was no good reason that I knew of for it, and it made no sense what-so-ever. Halfway through summer, Seth went from being friendly and cool to slowly declining to being quiet, bitter – and isolative; especially towards Brian in particular.
He would be a bit rude to me, even though I never did anything but be nice to him. But towards Brian… it was as if they were sworn enemies. He would get real nasty anytime you even brought the kid up to Seth. The best part was, as far as I was aware, Brian never even did anything to Seth! Brian and Seth had some kind of feud ever since that day on Seth’s porch, back in August.
Brian didn’t know why he was mad at him, and that’s the only reason why Brian and Daniel were angry with Seth! One day, we all noticed he was just being apprehensive, and avoided all opportunity to hang out with us. At some point, he simply stopped talking to us, and no one knew why. Any time he was asked, he’d get defensive and simply tell us we were being too pushy. It made no sense.
And I do believe the only reason he continued to talk to me, as scarcely as it was, was because we lived so close together and we share the same bus stop. That was just my opinion though. I definitely didn’t get the friendly attitude that most friends give one-another from Seth anymore… not like I used to.
Maybe he really was just choosing me as his one and only friend after something that happened to him between him and Brian, and Daniel that I didn’t know about. Maybe I was clueless altogether.
The only thing I knew for a fact was that something changed between all of us when Seth started acting this way, and the way he was acting was not just in our hands. Something was different and none of us knew what or why. And because of the way he’s been acting… no one but me really cared.
Brian didn’t care because, to him, if Seth wanted to be an asshole for no reason – Brian had no problems returning the favor. Sure, he was hurt. But he was angry, too. And Daniel, Brian’s brother – was certainly taking sides with Brian. I personally though… I was torn. I wanted to stay Seth’s friend despite the way he was acting. Not just towards me, but towards everyone.
What if the kid was having some problems at home? I could be his one true friend to stick through despite being pushed away. In my opinion, if he wanted to come around – he would.
Eventually, the bus stopped outside of the school. We all got off and walked through the rain into the building, and for the first time in three months we were students.
The day went on like any other first day of school. I was especially excited because it was my first full school year in this school but I couldn’t help but be concerned about Seth and the growing tension between all of us, even on a big day like this.
I was nervous, of course. I had only been there for like two months before (in the previous school year, before the summer that just passed), and this was my first chance to really get to know everyone that had been there for years before me. Even though I lived in that town for months, I still felt like a newcomer to the school. A lot of people didn’t know me, and I had really no reputation what-so-ever. This was going to be my chance, this year – to finally get one.
Not only was this my first real school year in a new school – I was also a freshman in high school!
---
I was pretty nervous about what to expect, being a freshman. I knew nothing about any of the differences between middle and high school – except to expect a higher workload and to be paired up with different types of people than what I was used to.
The morning routine was nothing different from the one last year, though.
We walked into the front entrance, and went to our first period class (which we found easily because we received our class schedules in our homerooms before school started).
My first period was English – something I actually enjoyed, even though I didn’t want it first thing in the morning (though it was easily one of my better subjects). My second was Physical Education… again, not something I’d have wanted first thing in the morning, but nothing too bad. That class I had Brian and Seth together in… though since Brian and Seth weren’t speaking, I was stuck in the middle doing nothing…
Third period was my Math class. I actually loved math quite a bit – so I was perfectly alright. This was definitely a higher math than I was used to though. Fourth period was my science – something I didn’t really prefer at all.
Though, finally – my fifth period was my lunch period. Right in the middle of the school day!
I managed to get to and through all of my classes without a problem, to be honest. It was really nice and things were going quite smoothly.
The school was quite large… it was a campus, since it combined middle and high school together. The building was like a maze… but fortunately for me, I had some experience navigating the place, so it really wasn’t a problem.
I walked into the cafeteria, which was insanely crowded (like most lunch rooms were). I got my lunch, and looked around… lost… so many unfamiliar faces… I looked and looked for Brian, Daniel, or Seth… but I saw none of them… until!
“Hey!
I looked around, and after some time I found Brian on the far end of the cafeteria, standing on his toes, waving his arms for me to come over!
---
“Sup
“Sup guys” I replied back.
“What classes are you in man?” Brian asked.
“Uhhh…” I said as I dug my schedule out from my backpack.
Brian didn’t really wait for me to read it to him; instead, he pulled it from my hand and read it over himself.
“Alright, cool” he replied, before handing it back to me.
“Do we have any together in the next few periods?” I asked.
But before Brian could actually answer, he lost track of what he was doing. He was staring behind me at something off in the distance with a dirty look. I didn’t really need to turn around… the face he was making made it quite obvious.
I turned around to be sure, but just as I had imagined, there was Seth, staring around for somewhere to sit, off pretty far in the distance in the room.
Despite the distance and the crowded room, he managed to see me. He looked at me, but then looked at Brian, shook his head, and then wandered off elsewhere. I couldn’t see where he went because of the people blocking the way.
“Yeah that’s right… go sit with some losers where you belong…” Brian said to Seth, though he knew Seth couldn’t hear him.
Once again I was feeling really uncomfortable. Brian looked at me…
“I can’t believe you seriously still hang out with that kid” Brian said, disgusted.
I shrugged, trying to pass it on. I didn’t want to start this up again… but of course, Brian wanted did.
“No for real man… you know he talks stuff about you, right?” Brian said.
I said nothing, having nothing to say. He and Daniel stared at me… I could sense that they wanted me to get mad and agree with them… but I simply couldn’t.
“Unbelievable…” Brian said, shaking his head.
“What is?” I asked.
“You man! Seth talks garbage about all of us and you still talk to him like you’re best buds. You know he’s been talking about you, right? Behind your back?” Brian said.
I shrugged.
“I don’t really care man” I replied.
I actually suspected Brian was lying. I’m sure there was some small truth – because I wouldn’t be surprised if Seth WAS talking about me behind my back (considering the way he was acting lately). But, it’s not like Seth and Brian shared many friends, so who would he be talking to me about, and how would Brian know, anyway?
Brian stared at me and shook his head.
“I… don’t get that man” he said.
He put his hand on my shoulder, and leaned in a bit.
“I like you man. We’re best friends – but Seth is no good. I don’t know what his problem is but he turned into a serious d-bag. I’m not trying to be that way to you but I just don’t understand how you can talk to him after all he said about us! And I know you listen to him rag on us when you’re over his house” Brian replied.
I nodded my head, and shrugged.
“To be honest with you” I began.
“…he never really says much at all about you, or Daniel, or anyone else. Anytime I’m over his house we just kind of… hang out. I don’t really know what you think he’s doing behind your back but from what I’ve seen there’s really nothing to worry about” I said.
Brian exhaled, a bit frustrated, and sat back.
“Yeah… you’re probably right
“I know… I know man… ever since the uh… the 4th of July, right? He started acting a bit weird after that” I said.
Brian shrugged, and nodded his head.
“Pretty much, yeah”
“Well… I don’t know what his deal is with you… be he doesn’t really have a problem with me. He and I hang out… but he really doesn’t talk crap on you or Daniel at all – I promise you that” I explained.
Brian gave me a bit of a sarcastically suspicious glare, before shaking his head.
“If you say so man…” Brian said, seemingly unconvinced.
I sighed… it was really getting annoying to have to practically pick sides here. I was defending Seth for really no other reason other than the fact I was a good friend. Even though Seth really didn’t deserve my friendship if what Brian was saying was true.
This whole stuck in the middle thing was getting real old, real fast. And it was only a few weeks.
---
Soon, the day was over with. Seth and I didn’t say a word the entire time on the bus ride home… he didn’t even look at me. I figured he was probably upset because I sat with Brian and Daniel at the lunch table today.
The bus dropped us both off at our stop, and without even saying anything to Seth, just turned and walked down my street.
The glum, rainy day was kind of a downer in this situation, in all honesty. I walked through the rain from the bus stop, and into my house where my mom welcomed me home.
The house felt a bit smaller than it was, due to the raininess outside. I had a great day in school, but the whole thing with Brian and Seth annoyed me.
My mom and I talked for a little while, before I eventually went off to me room to check my computer. I needed to get my mind off of things.
“Hey” I typed.
“Hey what’s up man?” I read.
I was talking to my friend Luke on an instant messenger, of course.
“Nothing just got back from school” I typed.
“Hehe… Nice. What kind of classes do you have? Having fun in high school?” I read.
I thought for a moment, before finally replying…
“Uhhh… basic crap. English, Math, Science… you know” I said.
“Ahh yes… exhilarating… stuff…” I read.
I chuckled because I knew he was of course being sarcastic. There really wasn’t much exciting about those subjects. Not in my opinion, anyway.
“…so… how is the story coming along?” I read.
I nodded, even though there was no one anywhere near me.
“It’s coming along just fine. I’ve never written a story before… this is really fun!” I typed.
Ever since I had discovered that website with stories about other kids (and adults too) in diapers, both true and fictional, I couldn’t stop reading them. They inspired me… reading about people in diapers… and their experiences… it was the most exciting thing to me. I had been doing it for weeks.
Sure, some were really terrible. But there were a few really excellent ones that made me want to try my hand at writing. There was a certain author I liked very much, though I always forgot his name. He would write long, elaborate stories. Stories for teen babies and diaper-lovers that weren’t just fantasy stories, or stories just about diapers. They were real, long, truly detailed stories that really anyone could get into. THAT was the kind of writer I wanted to be, eventually.
So for the last few days, I had begun work on my own short story. I wasn’t sure about how my writing was, but it was fun to do, regardless.
“Any good ideas for what to do?” Luke asked me.
“Eh… Don’t know what to put down though, with all this stuff between Brian and Seth going on. It’s bringing me down” I explained.
“Mm… that’s not a surprise” I read.
“Yeah. I don’t know… I just can’t handle this little feud they have going on here. It’s really annoying me… this really isn’t how I wanted to go into the new school year. I was looking forward to us all hanging out and having a good time… but with them two arguing its like I’m stuck in the middle” I explained.
“Mmhm… that’s how it goes down man. Friends argue and fight. It’s really incredible that you haven’t gotten into an argument with anyone… yet” Luke explained to me. I just read on…
“They’ll figure it out at some point. Who knows what’s going on at Seth’s house. Maybe he’s got problems at home. You’re his best friend now. He still talks to you… there’s got to be a reason. He still likes you! Maybe you should see if there’s anything you can do” Luke explained to me.
I looked at the text, and I couldn’t agree more. It did all make sense. Who knew what could be going on in his personal life? To go from the easiest-going kid in the world to a withdrawn, secretive character didn’t make sense.
Maybe there was something I could do to help… because I really was the only person Seth talked to, out of all of us. There had to have been a reason for that, right?
“You’re absolutely right” I replied.
“You see that?” Luke replied.
I smirked, nodded my head, and picked up the phone next to me. Then, I of course dialed Seth’s number.
I heard the quiet, monotone sound of ringing in my ear… but after several seconds, it became clear to me that no one was picking up. It rang for several seconds before finally going to his answering machine, but I left no message. I hung up my phone, and returned to my computer.
“Hmmm… no one’s home” I replied.
“Blah” Luke replied.
“See him when you see him, then” he typed.
“I definitely will” I replied.
“Well, I have to get going. It’s later over here” he typed to me.
It was only about 3PM here, but it was late where Luke resided.
“Alright man, g’night” I typed.
He then signed off, and I was alone in my room… for the first time all day, since waking up… I was finally truly alone.
There was not silence, however. It was still raining outside, and I could hear the rain drops landing outside of my house (my window was cracked because I enjoyed the breeze of the fresh air).
The air was humid, and thick. The skies were grey, and there was a light fog that was falling around my neighborhood. The rainstorm that had been blowing overhead for the last day was gentle… but there was tension in the air from it.
I wanted to get this little episode between Seth and Brian taken care of. This was my time as a friend to do something, right?
But this very moment clearly wasn’t the time to act. Seth wasn’t home… I would have to wait to do my good deed. I looked around my room for a way to kill the time… and I knew just the way!
I walked over to my bed, and knelt down – and peeked into a deep, dark corner that even my mother wouldn’t know existed. I reached my arm out, and grabbed a plastic bag, and pulled it towards me.
I sat down on the floor, and finally held the plastic bag in front of me. It was a familiar blue plastic store bag – but it was its contents that were important. I reached my hand inside, and could feel another bag inside of it. I pulled THAT bag out.
This bag was navy blue, and not transparent at all like the store bag. This was of course… a bag of diapers! It was MY bag of diapers.
I smirked at the thought of throwing one on for a little while, and didn’t hesitate to reach my hand in for a diaper. But I would only be disappointed when I did that.
I reached my hand in… and I only felt the inside of the bag. I was out of diapers!
“No!” I thought.
I kind of panicked, and felt my hand around inside of the bag – but there was nothing left. I looked inside, and it only confirmed that I had used up all of my diapers and that I needed to buy more.
I sighed a disappointed and frustrated sigh, and tossed the useless bags onto the floor.
“Guess I need to run to the store…” I thought.
I sat there for a few more moments before finally tossing the bags back under my bed and standing back up.
Looking out the window, I could
see the rain and gentle winds outside. It only made me sigh out of frustration
yet again… I DIDN’T want to go back outside! Now I had to ride my bike all the
way down to the store, in the cold rain and wind. This just didn’t seem like my
day!
But I thought of it all… and it was worth it to get more diapers. Seth wasn’t home, so there wasn’t anything better to do right now.
---
I was really soaring down the hill on my bike, that was for sure. I was trying to make this as quick as possible because I really didn’t want to be doing this. It was rainy; it was cold, and windy. I was getting soaked and almost wrecked my bike once or twice as I navigated the streets down towards the store. I figured it would be worth it.
Whizzing past the familiar park (the one that I was in for the 4th of July, and after leaving Seth’s house that one afternoon in the summer), and going through intersection after intersection, I eventually got to the store, though I was absolutely drenched. I parked my bike in the familiar place (behind the store, wedged between a dumpster and a wall), and began walking alongside the store to get to the front doors.
But something made me stop dead in my tracks.
As I walked along the side of the building through a parking lot that ran with the wall… I could see someone walking on the sidewalk a good 50 yards, roughly. They were pretty far, but close enough that I could see that it was none other than Seth. I could tell it was him because, not only could I see his face, but mainly by his hat that he always wore crooked to the side, pointed slightly upwards. It was his usual style, and it pretty much confirmed that it was him.
He didn’t see me, though. He was walking along the sidewalk that ran with the main road, and was only looking straight ahead. He wasn’t carrying any bags, and had his backpack (which was pretty typical for any kid to do when they had just come from the store). I knew he was definitely coming from the store… there was no doubting that.
This was my chance to talk to him! That’s where he must’ve been… the store!
“Seth!” I yelled.
He kept walking.
“SETH!” I yelled again, this time louder.
He heard me this time, and he came to a dead stop when he heard me. He looked around, seemingly unsure if he actually heard his name being called or not.
“Over here!” I yelled.
But just as I yelled that, a large truck ran right past Seth on the main road, making too much noise for him to hear me. He simply kept walking.
I started jogging through the parking lot, and after a few seconds, I managed to catch up with him.
“Seth!” I said, short of breath.
He spun around, looking at me with wide eyes. I seemed to have startled him a bit!
“
I nodded. He looked around him, unsure of why I had magically appeared behind him.
“What’re you doing here?” he asked, looking around.
“I uhh… I just came down here. I saw you from over there. I called your name but you didn’t hear me” I explained.
He nodded his head and exhaled.
“So… what’s up?” he asked.
“Nothing… hey, what’re you doing today?” I asked.
“Nothing. I have to help my mom… she’s sick” he explained.
I nodded.
“Why? What’s up?” I asked.
“She has the flu… that’s why I’m here…” he explained.
I nodded again, and didn’t have much to say after that. He was so incredibly uninviting.
“…and I probably should be going” he said, taking a step or two away from me.
“Oh… okay. Well… hey” I said.
“What?” he asked.
“…the real thing I wanted to say here was… well… I wanted to talk about… why you’re mad at Brian” I said.
He closed his eyes. His teeth gritted, and he shook his head.
“I don’t want to explain myself again” he said. He turned away from me, and his fists closed…
I made him mad!
“Look, I know you say he’s a liar and all. But man we’re in school now! If you’re not willing to tell him at least tell me!” I said.
He shook his head.
“Don’t bring this up,
“You need to just… drop it! I’m
not kissing his ass. He’s annoying, and stupid, and… ugh! Just… get over it!
We’re not friends anymore, and that’s how it is… and if you want to hang out
He swung back around, putting his back towards me, and swatted at the air at the end of his conversation.
I sighed.
“…fine” I said.
I really felt like hell for this. It was embarrassing, and I felt like I did more harm than good.
“Sorry I brought it up. I just want to help” I said.
He sighed…
“Seriously,
“But he doesn’t know what he –“
“Enough!” he yelled
“…sorry… look, fine. I’ll call you tomorrow” I said.
He nodded his head.
“You know you can tell me anything, right Seth?” I asked.
He put on a blank, uninterested face, and nodded his head.
“Mhm… thanks” he said.
I could tell he just wanted me to shut up, so I did. I didn’t say anything, and he just walked away, never even saying bye or anything.
There was a slight sinking sensation in my chest when I watched him walk away… I wasn’t surprised by the conversation, but I was still disappointed. I missed Seth… and this was definitely not him.
But I couldn’t stare at him for long. The rain had sort of picked up in comparison to earlier, when I had left my house. It was now showering, instead of drizzling. And it was cold, too. It seemed way too cold for an early September rain – but that’s just how it was.
I ran inside the store.
The air-conditioning inside really didn’t help, either. I instantly began to shiver as I walked through the automated doors – but I ignored it. I just kept walking forward.
I walked past the cashiers, and slowly made my way past each aisle until I was finally in the baby aisle. Approaching the bags of diapers, I looked back and forth… no one was watching – so I snatched a bag, and continued forth toward the cashiers.
I quickly paid for my diapers, and stuffed them in my backpack.
“Success!” I thought.
“Have a great day” the cashier said.
“Thanks… you too” I replied.
I walked away, and walked out of the store and back into the rain.
“Chapter Twenty, At First Sight”
A week or two had passed since the first day at school, and things were as calm as they could be. I had continued working on a diaper story… it was nothing special, but I thought it was interesting. Luke and I talked almost nightly while I worked on it, and we were becoming very close friends, ever since we started talking back several months ago.
I did, in fact, hang out with Seth the day after we had that conversation in front of the store. Things were calm, as they always were. When he and I were alone with each other nothing ever came up. He was quieter than usual, but as long as Brian wasn’t mentioned, nothing ever happened.
The same could also be said about Brian… as long as Seth was never mentioned, nothing ever happened. It was, at this point, like the two didn’t know each other and never did.
To me it was becoming really depressing. The times we had were becoming just memories, more and more so every day. Ever since this little feud began I hadn’t personally felt the same, either. I noticed that I was feeling slightly more sad than usual. I just wanted my friends back, but Seth was too hot-headed for that, and Brian wouldn’t let things pass after all of this happened.
The only thing keeping me occupied at this point was getting through school. It was more than halfway through September now, and I had become more acquainted with my school. There were a few familiar faces from classes I had last year, but a lot of new ones too. I’ve been doing a good job of getting to know anyone and everyone… and fortunately for me, I was pretty neutral when it came to hanging with a clique.
No one bothered me, and I bothered no one – so I think I was doing a good job getting along with everyone. I did mostly stick to myself, Brian, or Seth – though. That probably was why I only knew faces and not names.
---
I was sitting in my desk, sitting alone in a classroom filled with people. This was my math class, and I knew absolutely no one in the class. This wasn’t a problem, but it was really odd. I was still pretty shy.
“Okay boys and girls” my math teacher said. She was, of course, being sarcastic.
“It’s almost the end of the period so I only have a few minutes left to tell you about tomorrow. Tomorrow I’m giving out a math packet, and I’m not going to lie – it’s pretty big!” my math teacher explained.
The room filled with groans and whines.
“BUT – since I am so nice…” the teacher said, beaming out a cheesy, sarcastic smile that made me laugh…
“I’ve decided to put you all into groups. If you work in pairs of two, it WILL be done by the end of the period tomorrow… provided you actually work together. I’ve decided to pair you up myself, though – to maybe try and get everyone acquainted with each other since I know it’s very early in the school year” the teacher said.
My heart lept! What did the teacher just say?
I didn’t have problems with working together… but the idea of working with someone I really didn’t know and having to really know my stuff so BOTH of our grades didn’t get ruined… it made me nervous. Of course, I was probably jumping the gun like always.
“Tomorrow when you walk into the door tomorrow you will sit with your partner and I will give you both THIS…” the teacher said, presenting to the class a thick-looking packet, riddled with equations and formulas. Nothing difficult, though.
“You can chat, listen to music… you can even ignore each other. As long as you’re both doing work and it gets done, you’ll both get credit!” the teacher said.
Suddenly, a student raised his hand.
“Can we pick our partner?” he asked.
The teacher shrugged.
“You… CAN… but, I mean… I’d rather you just work with whom I give you. If there’s a serious problem talk to me after class but everyone here gets along, I’d like to think” the teacher replied.
The teacher then glanced at the clock.
“Okay, to wrap this up… I’ll give the list” the teacher said.
She then began to list name after name after name. I was very anxious to know who I was paired with!
“Oscar, you’re with John” I heard.
“Danielle, you’re with Jeremy” she continued.
She continued listing each set of names. Looking around, I felt more and more anxious for really no reason. Looking at everyone… there really was no reason to be nervous. Everyone was minding their own business. I guess it was just because I was shy.
I’ve always been one to wait for someone to approach me, rather than I approach them. I waited for someone to approach me last school year. I was only in school for about a week, and eventually Brian invited me to sit with him at lunch. I hadn’t met Daniel or Seth yet… and wouldn’t until the following weekend. If it wasn’t for Brian introducing himself to me, though – we may have never met. And everything would’ve been a lot different… probably for the worse.
Thinking that way made me feel a lot better.
“
Suddenly, though – the bell rang, and it was now lunch time. Everyone got up and began pouring out of the room.
“Wait, who is that?” I asked the teacher.
The teacher smiled at me, and looked behind me.
“Emily!” she called.
Suddenly, about a moment later…
“Yes?” I heard, from a soft feminine voice. She was right beside me.
Turning my head, I could see my project partner for tomorrow.
“This is
“Oh! Well… Hi
I turned to my right, and I saw her… and it was really quite funny, really.
The moment I saw her, I couldn’t help but notice almost every detail about her. She was pretty much my height, and kind of skinny. She had long, brown hair pulled into a ponytail, with little pieces left to hang in front of her green eyes. Wearing glasses, a nice looking green blouse, and well fitted jeans – I could honestly say she was the cutest looking girl I’ve ever seen!
“Ah… H-Hi… Emily” I said.
My words were broken with stuttering. My eyes couldn’t leave her face, and I suddenly became incredibly hot. My chest was burning, and my hands practically instantly began to sweat. For a moment, it felt like it was getting difficult to breathe.
I cleared my throat. Emily… such a nice name…
“Hi Emily, I’m uhh…” I said.
What was my name, again? I looked away! Somehow, staring at her… I couldn’t remember!
“…
I heard her chuckle a small bit.
“Well get out of here you two, I have another class to teach” the teacher said.
“Okay, well… bye!” Emily said, as she made her way out of the class.
She walked out of the room, but I didn’t move. I simply stared at her exiting. Only after she was in the hall was I able to put my hand up and wave bye.
“Bye” I said, in a shocked, weak voice.
Continuing to stand there, staring off into space… I couldn’t believe what came over me when I saw her! I simply stood in silence.
“Holy…” I began to say.
“
“W-What? Huh?” I asked, looking around.
The teacher was sitting on her desk, staring at me with a big cheesy smile.
“You be good! And… seriously… you’re holding up my class… so get to lunch or wherever it is you go this period” the teacher replied to me.
I spun around, and there was suddenly an entirely new class of students sitting behind me in their desks. I definitely hadn’t seen them come in!
“Oh… sorry!” I replied.
I walked out of the room, and couldn’t help but feel that remaining heat in my chest. Though, having my teacher cut me off before swearing in a classroom – and she obviously new why I was about to say it – was pretty embarrassing. I almost felt like I was blushing!
I stood in the hall, as people walked past me. I was stunned… I felt so strange… for some reason that girl Emily was… so well branded into my mind. I could still see her!
“…the hell is wrong with you, boy?” I heard.
Some older kid walked past me, and laughed at me. Clearly, I was being an idiot for standing in the middle of the hallway, staring off into space. This would have to wait – so I shook my head, and proceeded to the cafeteria.
---
“What’s up guys” I said.
Daniel gave me a head nod, and Brian looked at me happily.
“What’s up man” Brian replied.
I shrugged.
“Not a whole lot. Got a lot of homework, but that’s about it” I said.
Brian nodded.
“That sucks” he said.
I shrugged again.
“Eh, got nothing better to do” I said.
Brian laughed.
“Hey. You want to hang today?” Brian asked.
I nodded.
“Yeah sure that sounds cool. I don’t really have THAT much homework, I was just being sarcastic… so yeah, we could hang” I said.
“Cool” Brian replied.
He looked off into the distance, and squinted his eyes. He was looking above and far behind me, and I spun around at what he was looking at.
All I saw was a crowded lunch room, though; nothing worth seeing there.
“What’re you looking at?” I asked.
He smirked.
“Her” he said.
Now I was really interested.
“Her who?” I asked again, looking in the same direction. There were too many people crowding the room, all sitting at the lunch tables. There were quite a few girls in the room, so assumptions would be blind.
“Okay, look where I’m staring. You see that girl?” Brian said.
“Um… no, Brian. I don’t. See… unlike what you see, it’s not just her in the room. There’s a lot of other people here, too” I said, laughing.
He looked at me with his mouth wide open, shocked. He tapped in me in the shoulder.
“Wait, that girl with the blond hair? Sitting at… Seth’s table?” I asked.
Brian nodded.
“Yeah” he said, in an almost dreamy voice.
I laughed.
“Do you like her?” I asked, chuckling.
It was a silly question, but Brian actually shrugged.
“I dunno man. She’s hot!” Brian said.
We all laughed (Daniel included).
“Well go talk to her” I told him.
He shook his head.
“No man I don’t even know her name” he said.
“Well so what, just go up and be like ‘YO What’s up baby!?’, and talk to her” I said.
“I can’t!” Brian said.
This was probably the only time I’ve EVER seen Brian actually nervous to do something! This is coming from the kid who convinced me to wear a diaper for the first time in front of him, Seth, and Daniel – who were only strangers at the time.
“Well… wait, she’s at Seth’s table” I explained.
Brian shrugged.
“Man I don’t care about that asshole, I just think the girl sitting at his table is hot” Brian said.
Daniel laughed, and Brian nodded his head while staring at her as if he was building up the guts to talk to her. I just kind of chuckled uncomfortably… Seth was, after all, still my friend.
As much as I wanted Brian to simply go over and talk to her, I knew he wouldn’t. And of course, he didn’t.
The day eventually came to an end for me at school. The last bell rang, everyone rushed outside, and I rode my bus home. I had nothing to think about except for a small bit of homework… and of course, the person that continuously kept making her way back into my head.
That girl Emily… she was so cute. I think it was safe to say… that I had a crush. But, I was holding myself back as much as I could. I hardly knew this girl. Actually… I didn’t know her at all. I saw her for five seconds – and that was it! How could I admit I had a crush on a girl I never even talked to before? Besides… somehow I felt like she wouldn’t even be interested.
I shrugged the thoughts out of my head. I looked at Seth, who was sitting next to me… though he was preoccupied with listening to music on some headphones he had on. I decided not to bother him, and simply waited to get home.
Soon, the bus came to a stop, and we all poured out of it into the still-rainy weather outside. I didn’t worry about it though, since my house was only a block from the bus stop.
---
I completed my average routine for the day after coming home. My mom and I talked a little bit in the living room, and I got something to eat – and before I knew it, I found myself in my room, at my computer desk. I had only been home for about a half-hour, and I knew Brian would be calling any minute to invite me over.
Until then, though – I was spending my time browsing the internet and, most of all – checking the diaper-lover sites that I often checked daily.
Soon, after I was done… I opened up the story I had been working on, and just browsed it. It was only a few pages in WordPerfect… but the story was mostly done.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, my phone began ringing.
“About time!” I thought.
I reached over and picked up my phone, and stuck it to my ear.
“Hello?” I asked.
“Hey Ade’, it’s Brian” I heard.
“Sup man” I asked.
“Eh… well, kind of bad news. I got hammered in my last few classes with homework, and we have to go to the store. And it’s still crappy today. I think we should just hangout some other day” Brian explained to me.
I nodded, even though there clearly was no one else in the room with me.
“Oh… okay, that’s fine. It IS really crappy outside” I agreed.
“Yeah, so I’ll just talk to you later, alright?” I heard.
“Yeah yeah, definitely” I replied.
Shortly after that, we both hung up, and I was left alone in my room with nothing on my agenda for the rest of the day.
“Well… that’s that” I said to myself, feeling somewhat disappointed.
It’d have been nice to go to Brian’s and Daniel’s house… but at the same time… it WAS really crappy outside, and there was nothing worth doing anyway.
I didn’t waste any time to return back to my story at that point. I simply jumped back to what I was doing, and all I was doing was reading the last paragraph or two of my story.
But once I reached the part where I was supposed to begin writing something new… and continuing my tale… I drew a blank. There was nothing. Sitting there for up at least 15 minutes, I couldn’t think of a single thing to write.
Somehow, the story I was writing just wasn’t good enough for something I wanted to write. It felt… silly. But diaper-lovers and teen babies like silliness, right? They wouldn’t mind if one or two things didn’t quite make sense… I mean… it WAS just a story! I continued on.
But soon, I couldn’t help but notice that what little creativity I had at the moment was slipping away… and soon, I found myself less interested in writing about someone in a diaper, and more interested in BEING the one in a diaper!
I quickly saved what little I wrote, and just as quickly, I ran over to my hiding spot, where I kept my diapers (and now, my pacifier that I had purchased over the remaining weeks of summer. That was all I had, though).
Looking up at the door, to confirm that it was locked and secure (the last thing I’d want is my mother walking in!); I pulled out my package of diapers, and tossed them on the bed. I also brought my pacifier along, too.
I only stood up to stand by my bed, and take off my pants and underwear, so I could lay down and get a diaper on – and that is exactly what I did. On the bed, half-naked, I slipped a diaper underneath my butt, and pulled the front over top of my lower stomach, and snugly taped it together.
It felt so warm… the feeling of it… it really made me feel so secure. It was an interesting feeling that I had gotten ever since that first night at Brian’s house… all those months ago. I felt safe, in that diaper. And when I put the pacifier in my mouth, it simply was the finishing touch.
As much as I loved wearing my diaper, sucking my thumb or pacifier was just as amazing. It made me feel so… small, and cute – most of all. I felt… like a baby, almost. Something was missing (I didn’t know what) – but the idea of being treated like a baby had grown on me over the last several weeks. The idea of wearing cute clothes or doing babyish things… it really enticed me. The idea of someone taking care of me when I was acting like this… that was what really made me excited. I never, ever thought of my real mother doing this… but someone else, would be nice.
I simply lay there, on my bed, sucking my pacifier and enjoying the comfort of my diaper – relaxing.
Several minutes had passed before I moved a muscle. I eventually wound up on my computer, reading babyish stories and talking with my other babyish friends. Luke, in particular, and several other people I had met over time.
Of course, before too long, I found myself soaked in my diaper – and THAT was what I liked THE most. A wet diaper made me feel even smaller, and a little cuter. The idea of someone seeing me in a wet diaper… I felt a bit embarrassed even at the thought… but at the same time, I kind of liked the idea. Granted, I wasn’t about to go parading down the street (nor did I want to), but it was the THOUGHT of it that made me more… “excited”.
I couldn’t take it anymore. Almost two hours in a diaper, soaked with pee, and I couldn’t contain my excitement anymore, even though I tried as hard as I could. Before I knew it, I was laying back down on my bed, rubbing the front of my soaked, squishy, slick diaper. Thoughts flooded my head, of different kinds – each one sending a wave of heat through my body – until finally, it came to its sticky, messy conclusion, and I was left lying there on that bed exhausted, and out of breath… and satisfied.
“Chapter Twenty-One, At the Lunch Table”
The following morning was nothing different from any other morning I’ve had during the school year. I woke up, ate some breakfast, and left for the bus. The weather was finally clearing up from the last few weeks, which had been mostly rainy or overcast, and surprisingly cold for September. We had actually had to bring out our warmer clothes a bit earlier than I was used to, like my hoodies and long-sleeve shirts.
The weather seemed to have put a tense, depressing tone on things. That was for sure.
But this morning was different. The sun was shining through broken clouds, and the humidity made a light fog. The sun mixed with the humid, foggy weather made everything glow a strange golden orange. Everything was still wet from the storms passing over in the night before. This, on top of the good sleep I had last night… it made things feel good first thing in the morning.
I was really pleasant… and I was really looking forward to my day.
I got on the bus, and I simply waited to be taken to school. Seth and I sat together, and we spoke a little bit (just the same, miscellaneous chat that we always make in the morning). Our conversation was friendly, and for the first time in a long time, I didn’t really feel pushed away by Seth… it was nice.
The rest of the morning went as smoothly. I went through all of my classes, and the whole day was going by at a surprisingly quick speed… I loved it!
But the day quickly slowed down the second I walked into my Math class… and I had to come face-to-face with… her.
---
Walking into the classroom, my body was kind of hot. I felt somewhat disoriented, and kind of jittery… I was definitely anxious.
“Okay everyone; meet up with your partner. If you don’t remember who it was, feel free to ask” the teacher announced.
I paid no attention, though. I knew exactly who my partner was. Looking around the room, I searched for her. She was definitely going to be hard to miss, because I remembered her face very well.
Suddenly, I spotted her: far off in the corner of the room, almost hidden behind a wall of people. I wasted no time, and walked over, despite how nervous I was.
“Hi
It was a very welcoming greeting.
“H-Hey” I replied, as I pulled a desk up next to her.
She already had the paper sitting in front of her, ready to go – so I simply sat down next to her.
Neither of us spoke a word for a minute as she looked over the front of the packet.
“Mm… okay, do you want to do like… all the problems on this side? And I can do all of the problems on this side?” she asked me.
The problems were in columns of two, so I could do the ones on my side, and she could do hers. But I wasn’t paying really much attention to that. Instead, I couldn’t help but notice how soft her voice was! I just kind of zoned out, and stared at her, and smiled.
“
This suddenly knocked me out of my trance.
“Huh? O-Oh! Yeah, that’s good! I can do that” I said, just realizing what she asked me.
I must have looked really dumb, because she giggled a girly, cute giggle, and kind of looked down, grinning.
“Okay, I’ll put this here then” she said, as she slid the packet in between us so that I could read what I needed to do, and she could read what SHE needed to do.
I got my notebook out, and began doing the problems. The two of us said little in the beginning after we both began to do our work, but after a few minutes, we started making small talk.
I couldn’t help but stare over at her once in a while – just quick glances. It was so cute the way she would blow her hair out of her face every once in a while she was doing her work. She would even move her lips off to the side when she was thinking hard, as if she was going “Hmmmm…” to herself without ever saying it.
She seemed so content with herself, too. A very light smirk was constantly present on her thin, pretty face.
The way I remembered her from yesterday wasn’t a lie. She was indeed a very cute girl. She seemed about the same age as me, too. Her overall image expressed a care free girl, a bit of on the brainier side. But she was incredibly cute. Sexy was not the word, because I was not getting aroused while looking at her. I was, however, awestruck, for some reason. I couldn’t describe the feeling.
I wasn’t staring at her the whole time… these were just details I noticed whenever I’d glance over. About midway through us doing our work…
“So you’re new this year?” Emily asked me.
“Yeah… well… kinda. I moved here towards the end of last school year” I replied.
“Oh really? That’s cool. Where are you from?” I heard her sweet, innocent voice say to me.
“Mayterson” I replied.
“Oh okay, I’ve heard of there. It’s not TOO far from here. About an hour away, right?” she said.
I nodded.
“So who do you hang out with?” she asked me.
“Ahhh… do you know Brian or Daniel Namble? I asked.
She nodded.
“I’ve heard of them. I had Brian in class last year I think but we never talked or anything. I just know the name kinda” she replied.
“Oh, okay” I replied.
Neither of us were making eye-contact at this point. We were just talking while doing our math work as quickly as we could. That was probably a good thing, too – because I found it very, very hard to talk to her while looking at her.
Even talking to her without looking at her… I still felt surges of tension, fire, and fear go through my body. I wasn’t sure why! I didn’t even know the girl… but something about her… I WANTED to know more! I wasn’t IN LOVE with her, but I definitely thought she was cute. She was pretty, and the way she was whizzing through her math problems, I could tell she was smart, too.
“W-Who do you hang out with?” I asked.
I don’t know why I asked… I really didn’t know anyone. She looked up at me, and breathed in, looking away for a moment… I could tell she was thinking.
“Well, I hang out with just about anyone. Mostly Sarah and Oscar though, those two are like my best friends”
I shrugged at Emily
“Eh… I don’t know them” I said.
She nodded at me though.
“That’s alright. You’ll know Sarah soon… she’s like one of the most popular girls in school… her and her sister Nichole. Everyone likes them” Emily explained.
“Oh, okay” I replied.
“So they’re like… ‘the popular kids’?” I asked, using my fingers to make quotation marks when I said ‘popular kids’. I was, of course, being sarcastic.
She giggled.
“Hehe… sure, I guess you could say that. Sarah just entered high school with me though; she was the popular girl in middle school. High school is kind of her sister’s territory” she replied.
I nodded… and felt a bit of warmth when she giggled. I felt good, for some odd reason that I couldn’t really explain.
“Oh! Do you know Seth?” I asked.
She looked at me curiously.
“Seth who?” she asked.
Thinking for a moment… I realized that I actually couldn’t remember his last name at the moment.
“I… don’t really remember his last name” I explained.
She thought for a moment. She looked up, and put the eraser of her pencil between her teeth, and bit down very gently on it.
“I know one Seth here” she said.
“He’s like… our age. Wears that hat to the side a bit, and –“
“That’s him!” I replied, unintentionally cutting her off.
She smiled.
“Oh yeah, I know him. I’ve sat with him at lunch before. He’s cool” she said.
I nodded.
“Yeah, he’s like one of my best friends” I explained.
“That’s cool! Yeah he sits with us a lot at lunch – he’s pretty cool. You should sit with us, too” she replied.
I nodded again.
“Y-Yeah! That sounds cool!” I said.
I was really excited now! She invited me to sit with them! She smiled.
“Hehe, okay cool. I say we finish up this packet first, right? We can talk more at lunch” she told me.
“Okay, that sounds good” I replied.
And that, for the most part, was the end of our general conversation. The only talking that was done after that was simply general questions about our math assignment. And it was a pretty good thing that we stopped talking when we did, because although we got it done, we only got it done a few minutes before the bell rang.
The halls filled with students, and I exited my math class. Emily disappeared in one direction, and I went my own way to the cafeteria (it was my usual route). I took it slowly, though. I felt so… crazy, after talking with Emily. I felt like I had just overcome some huge obstacle, and now, I was home free.
I thought about her… and I couldn’t help but feel a smile creep across my face. Emily was so cute and intelligent… and she seemed so nice. I felt light just thinking about how she I and made a fairly good team on that paper, too – I think we were one of the first done in class!
Then I remembered… why was I standing alone in the hallway? She invited me to sit with them at the lunch table! I wondered… did this mean she thought I was cool, too? Down the hallway, down some steps, down another hallway… and before I knew it, I was standing in a crowded lunchroom, scanning for the table I was invited to.
It didn’t take very long for me to spot Seth. I could see him and his table, right where it was yesterday, pretty easily from where I was (in the entrance to the cafeteria). Near him, I also spotted Emily… she stood out from everyone else in the room the most… to me, anyway.
Without hesitation, I walked over…
---
“Sup guys” I said.
Immediately, everyone looked up at me. It was a crowded table full of people I didn’t know, except for Seth and Emily.
“Sup
He seemed a bit hesitant, as if surprised by the fact that I just jumped into the crowd and made my presence known. I definitely don’t think he was expecting me here.
“Hey
I sat down in the only empty seat at the table, and looked around. Everyone else kind of stared at me, but not in a rude or even unfriendly way – so I ignored it. They were curious because I was a new face, and I understood.
“What’re you doing over here man?” Seth asked me. He had a curious tone of voice, not a rude one.
I shrugged.
“I dunno, wanted to say ‘What’s up’” I said to Seth.
He shrugged back.
“Well uhh… yeah. Okay, cool. Guys
this is
Looking around, everyone seemed pretty cool. There were a few boys and girls alike, and each of them pretty much nodded their heads, and said ‘Sup’.
They all seemed a bit older than me. I was only 14 (though I was approaching 15 very soon) – but they seemed a bit higher in high school than me.
“This is uhh… Emily…” Seth said, pointing towards Emily.
I already knew who she was, but Seth didn’t know that. I smirked and nodded my head towards her, and she smiled and waved.
“That’s Oscar” Seth then said, pointing to the boy sitting right next to her.
Sitting next to Emily was a kid who looked a bit older than me. He was wearing a white T-shirt, with a hat that was put to the side a lot like Seth – but unlike Seth, I could tell Oscar’s head was shaven because his hair was extremely short. Actually… he looked a lot like Seth, period - only a little bigger and a little stronger… he seemed like someone who listened to a lot of rap, and took it a little more seriously than Seth did. But despite his gangster attire, he seemed nice.
“What’s up man?” he said to me, with a welcoming smile.
He didn’t seem mean, even though his facial expression was somewhat intimidating.
Next to Oscar, was another boy. He was the only one that wasn’t really paying attention to my presence, and was instead, talking to some girl that was next to me, from across the table.
“That’s
He was tall, thin – but built, and he wore a black leather jacket. His eyes were narrow, and he had an overall… kind of intimidating impression. The jacket reminded me of a greaser – and his general impression kind of reminded me of one, too. He did not seem nice, at all – and I probably would’ve thought that even if he wasn’t arguing with the girl next to me. He seemed like someone who I did not want to make angry, that’s for sure.
“
He continued to bicker.
“
“WHAT?”
“Hi! Say… ‘Hi!’” Oscar yelled at
Oscar looked at him with a tough-guy look, and pointed directly at me.
“Say ‘Hi’ to the new kid” Oscar said.
“HI FRIEND. WELCOME!” he said to me.
His voice was extremely sarcastic, and rather rude. He stared at me for a moment, before going back to the girl next to me – turning his face from a sarcastic smile, to an evil scowl before returning to the girl next to me.
“Why the hell did you have to do that man? See that’s what I’m talking about! You’re an asshole!” I heard the girl next to me say.
The girl began to stand up.
“Nichole?! NICHOLE! Get back here
Nichole!”
The girl next to me, or Nichole –
put the palm of her hand in
“Aww c’mon baby you know I was kidding! For FUCKS SAKE!” he yelled – though he began walking away from the table. Anything he said to her after that, I couldn’t hear. He chased after Nichole, who was storming out of view.
There was a strange, awkward silence after that. Oscar, after a brief moment, sighed, and stretched out, as if he was about to chase after them, and was preparing for it.
“I guess I should go make sure
“Oh come on Oscar, he got himself into this mess” I heard another girl say.
Looking over, I could see her. She was kind of shorter, with dirty blond hair. She was skinny, and was wearing regular dressed-down clothes – but she still looked kind of cute like that. I couldn’t help but think that. Though… she had sort of an angry expression, and was mostly focused on Oscar at the moment.
Oscar looked at the girl, gave her an annoyed expression, shook his head, and began walking away.
“Wait” I heard.
It was Emily who said it. She was looking up at Oscar… and she had a certain look in her eye as she looked up at him. She kind of made a fake, exaggerated sad expression, before clasping his hand.
“You comin’ back?” she asked.
Oscar looked down at her, and shrugged.
“Eh… yeah, probably” he said. He let a little bit of a grin creep out.
“Okay” she said.
Suddenly, Oscar bent down, and in the blink of an eye… kissed her. He kissed Emily right on the lips. It was only a peck, but it was still a kiss. The two lost eye contact and Oscar walked away, in the direction that Gary and Nichole ran off to.
The whole thing took only moments… but to me… it was a lot, lot longer than that. And after I had seen the two lock lips… the girl I was becoming so crazy about, lock lips with Oscar… suddenly… time stopped.
Did I really just see that? Emily… kissed him? She has a boyfriend!?
I was almost too shocked to say anything or react at all. But after a short while, I realized that that is exactly what had happened… and I was in shock. Suddenly… I felt a whole lot different than the way I felt when I sat down. I felt like a fool… and when I looked around and saw where I was sitting, and thought about why… I suddenly felt like an idiot.
It was as if everything had suddenly become very clear in my head, as if I had woken up from a deep sleep.
“You stupid moron” I thought to myself.
“She was just being nice! She didn’t really like you like that!” I thought to myself.
I couldn’t breathe… there was a stabbing pain in my chest, and the world was moving slower than before. I was embarrassed, and no one even knew about anything. It was all in my head… and I embarrassed myself.
All of the sudden, there was no reason for me to be sitting there at all. I waited a few moments, but just as I was about to get up…
“So uhh… yeah
It was from the girl that was sitting next to Nichole – the only girl I hadn’t been introduced to yet.
“Um… Maytersonville” I replied, unintentionally with a sigh. I looked way from the girl while saying it, lost in disappointment.
“Oh – I’m Sarah, by the way” I heard that girl say.
I looked back up at Sarah. She had a pretty confident expression on her face, and she gave a pretty laid back, relaxed wave of the hand to me. I smiled…
“Sup” I replied.
It was pretty much the only thing I had to say at this point. I had no reason to be here… what-so-ever.
“So do you like it here?” Sarah asked me.
I nodded.
“Yeah it’s pretty cool” I said.
She smiled, and flicked a small bit of hair out of her eyes while looking at me.
“So what street do you live on?” Sarah asked me.
“Jakeson” I replied.
“Ohhh!” she said.
“You live near Seth, then?” she asked, looking at Seth.
Seth remained mostly silent, but nodded his head.
“Yeah” he replied.
“That’s cool… I live near you two. Seth, you wanna come over?” she asked.
Seth, though, shrugged.
“I’m kind of busy tonight actually, Sarah. Going somewhere with my family” he said.
“Ohhh, okay. Oscar is supposed to come over, and Nichole will be around. She’s not going anywhere” she said.
Seth nodded.
“Yeah I’ll see what I can do but I don’t think I can come over tonight. I might be able to but I’m not gonna make any promises” he said.
She smirked, and shrugged.
At that moment, I had nothing left to say or do. I looked over at Emily, who was completely oblivious to the wreck she had just made me become – as I began to stand up.
“Where you going,
“I’m gonna go see what some other people… are uhh… up to… I’ll be back” I said.
Seth looked up at me, and just shook his head with dissatisfaction. Everyone else, though, nodded – and with that, I wandered through the cafeteria back toward the table that I was a regular at.
It wasn’t a long walk, but it felt like it was, to me. I was depressed, and disappointed. I was curious to know how Brian was doing.
“Hey” I said to him, as I sat down at the empty table. It was only me, Brian, and Daniel – like any other day.
But I didn’t receive a greeting back. I sat down, and looked over at Brian, strangely.
“What’s up?” I asked.
He looked over at me with a scowl.
“Sitting over at Seth’s table, huh?” he said to me.
“What?” I asked.
“Yeah, sitting over with Seth from now on?” he said to me.
I could tell that, although he seemed to have a sarcastic tone, he was kind of serious.
“Oh… well… yeah… I guess… I mean ‘no’!” I said.
Brian shrugged.
“I didn’t sit there because I wanted to sit with Seth man” I replied.
Suddenly I felt myself getting mad. What, I wasn’t allowed to sit with Seth if I wanted?
“Then what for?” Brian asked.
“Um… actually, because there’s a girl over there I think is cute, and she invited me to sit with her” I said, bluntly.
“Huh? Who?” Brian asked. Suddenly, he was interested!
I shrugged.
“What difference does it make – she was just being friendly. She has a boyfriend” I replied.
“…it wasn’t that blond girl, was it?” he asked me.
“Huh? What blond girl?” I asked.
“That one I was talking about yesterday!” he said.
I thought for a moment… a blond girl…
“With long blond hair?” I asked.
“Yeah!” Brian replied.
He was talking about Nichole!
“Ohhh no, it wasn’t her – but I saw her. Her name is Nichole… and uhh… I think she might have a boyfriend, too” I replied.
Brian sighed, and shrugged.
“Nichole, huh? Who’s her boyfriend? I bet I can take him!” he said, jokingly.
But I didn’t laugh.
“Ehhh… I don’t… really know about
that. Her boyfriend is some kid named
Brian chuckled, a bit.
“
“Wait” I heard.
I looked up, and Daniel was staring at us both with a serious expression.
“Hold up,
I could tell by the expression on Daniel’s face that he was really serious about something.
“I… I dunno man” I said.
“What’s he look like? Leather jacket? Big, tall?” Daniel asked me.
“Yeah, that’s him! Why, what’s up?” I asked.
Daniel’s eyes got a bit bigger, and he looked right at Brian.
“Whoa dude, don’t mess with him Brian. Seriously” Daniel warned.
“Huh?” Brian replied.
“That kid is a real asshole and he’ll fight you just because he feels like it” Daniel said.
“I-I wasn’t really going to” Brian replied, suddenly getting defensive.
“But are you calling me weak?” Brian said, looking at Daniel.
Daniel’s eyes squinted.
“Um, no – but you definitely can’t
take
“You played football?” I asked.
Daniel looked at me and kind of made me feel stupid with the facial expression he gave me.
“Uhh… yeah dude… I’m on the team… have been” Daniel said.
He seemed a bit offended that I wasn’t aware of this, and I backed off.
“I didn’t know man!” I replied.
Daniel shrugged. It did make sense, though. Daniel was pretty big, and was older than Brian.
“Anyway… yeah
“ALRIGHT!” Brian yelled, jumping up.
“I get it man, okay? I was kidding!” Brian insisted.
Daniel just sat there, with an expressionless face, staring at Brian.
“Who else is Seth chilling with?” Daniel asked me. He seemed real interested now.
Suddenly, I felt like I was on the spot… I didn’t want to answer because I felt like I was now in some kind of conspiracy or something.
“I uhh… I dunno. Some kid named Oscar. There was Gary, Oscar, Seth, Emily, some Nichole… and some girl Sarah” I explained.
Daniel nodded his head.
“That sounds about right, yeah.
Alright…
“But yeah man, I know all of them
except for her. They’re all alright except for
I nodded my head.
At that very moment, though…
“Heyyy!” I heard, from a girly, eager, happy, and familiar voice.
Looking over, I could see Sarah, and her sister Nichole, approaching us – me in particular. Nichole was holding onto Sarah’s hand, and was in a way, forcing her to come up to me. Nichole was the one that yelled over to us, though.
“
I smiled.
“What’s up?” I said.
“Sarah wants to ask you something!”
“No I don’t, shut up!” she replied.
“Oh just ask him, God” Nichole said, sighing in frustration.
Nichole pushed her younger sister toward me.
“Hey, I um… I just wanted to ask you something” Sarah said to me.
Brian and Daniel remained dead silent.
“…yeah?” I asked.
I was really curious!
“Hey since you live near Seth, you live pretty close to me and Nichole. We wanted to know if you wanted to come over” Sarah said to me.
She had a very smug expression on her face, while asking me. There was something… cute… about it. It was that innocent shyness – that was the same thing Emily had. It was attractive to me.
“Uhh… Um… I dunno, maybe” I said.
I wanted to go. I was kind of interested – but I didn’t want to go alone.
“…can I bring some friends?” I asked.
“Who?” Nichole asked me.
I didn’t need to say anything. I just looked over, and stared at Brian and Daniel.
“Oh damn, what’s up Daniel!?” Nichole said.
“Hey” Daniel replied.
“These two? I don’t know HIM but… I mean… sure” Nichole said. She pointed at Brian when she said ‘HIM’. Brian simply shrugged.
“This your brother, Danny?” Nichole asked.
“Yeah this is Brian my little brother” Daniel replied.
“Ohhh okay. Yeah, you two can come over too if you want” Nichole said.
“Okay, cool. We’ll be around. I need your address and stuff though” I said.
Sarah smiled, and nodded her head.
“Okay” she said.
“Well, actually – just give me your number and I’ll call you” Sarah said.
It only took a few moments to write down my number onto a napkin that just happened to have been lying around.
“Thanks, I’ll call you and let you know what’s going on” she said.
Then… just like that… Sarah and Nichole walked away from us – and we were alone yet again.
Personally, I thought nothing of it… but Brian, on the other hand…
“
“Sup?” I asked.
“…you little PIMP YOU!” he said, laughing hysterically.
“Huh?” I asked, confused.
“Dude, that Sarah girl was all over you” he explained.
“What? Nah” I replied, being modest.
“No really – I think that girl likes you… and if I’m coming with you… maybe it’s time to make some moves on that fine, fine girl Nichole” Brian replied, with a smug expression.
I laughed.
“You really think so?” I asked.
I thought about it… that Sarah girl… she WAS kind of cute! But, I wasn’t going to dare get my hopes up – not again. Even though all I did was have a crush on Emily… it still hurt to find out I never stood a chance – and I definitely wouldn’t ever stand a chance.
Oscar was so big, and strong… he could protect her better than I could – I thought. Maybe it was for the best. After all, what kind of chance did I have with a girl so special, when I was just an ordinary kid?
I wasn’t being pessimistic – I was being realistic.
Sarah was cute though – and Emily built her up to be one of the most popular girls in school. Maybe I was just beating myself up over nothing, right?
---
The school day after that quickly went by… since there was nothing interesting that happened after lunch – it seemed to quickly blur together, and before I knew it, I was on my bus, on my way home.
The vibe of the day hadn’t faded, from what it was in the morning… there was still an intense sense of energy and possibility… but the appearance of the outside had very much changed.
The fog had lifted, but there were clouds overhead, with bits of sunshine pouring through holes. It looked as if there was another storm over head… but it wasn’t going to storm quite yet. It was humid, kind of – and there was a breeze that gently lifted the fallen leaves around. The overcast made it a bit chilly outside, and it was a tad dark even though it was only about 3PM. It gave a strange feeling to the day.
But I wasn’t just contemplating the weather outside… I was thinking of other things too… like Emily, and Sarah.
Emily was such a beautiful girl… but she was taken – and there was nothing I could do about it. But why did I care, really? I mean… I barely knew her… and she probably wouldn’t like me since she’s going out with that kid Oscar.
But Sarah… Sarah, the supposedly most popular girl in my grade… SHE… liked ME? THAT was something I really didn’t expect! The girl… she was so cute, too. But I knew nothing about her… but with the way she talked to me… I was willing to get to know her better, if that’s what she wanted!
I really didn’t have any experience with girls, in the first place. Before moving into this town several months ago, I mostly stuck to myself and really never did much relationship stuff. I was definitely inexperienced when it came to drama and what-not. This was all new to me, that’s for sure.
“What are you looking at?” I heard. Suddenly, my attention snapped back to this planet.
“H-Huh?” I said, looking over.
Seth was sitting next to me, with a confused look on his face… I had been staring out the window for most of the ride home.
“Oh… nothing. I was just thinking” I said.
Seth nodded.
“Cool… so uh… what made you sit down at our table?” he asked.
I just kind of stared at him, blankly.
“Well… nothing… I just… you know, wanted to… because I haven’t talked to you. We… are friends, right?” I said.
He nodded… hesitantly.
“…yeah” he said.
Suddenly, right at that moment, my bus had stopped. Without any hesitation or goodbye, Seth stood from his seat and immediately got off.
“Wow” I thought.
“What the hell?” I thought to myself… before finally shrugging it off. That’s just how Seth was these days.
I followed him off the bus, and made my way from the bus stop all the way down my street, making the short journey back to my house.
---
“Mom! I’m home!” I announced with a loud shout.
“Why are you shouting? I’m right here!” I heard from a chuckling voice, right next to me.
My mom was, in fact – standing right next to me, in the living room.
“Oh… my bad” I said.
She simply laughed.
“How was school?” she asked.
I thought for a moment…
“It was pretty good” I said. That was a pretty genuine response.
“Good” she said.
We talked for a short while then… for only about, maybe 15 minutes, about miscellaneous things, but before I knew it, I was back in my room, comfortably sitting at my computer desk.
Mostly, I was waiting for Sarah to call me like she said she would.
“I could write while I wait for Sarah to call… not a problem!” I thought.
Turning on my monitor, I could see a message waiting for me, from none other than my good friend Luke himself.
“What’s up?” he had asked me.
The timestamp said it was only a few minutes ago, so I didn’t hesitate to reply back.
“What’s up?” I asked back.
“Hey man. Not much – just relaxing… how about yourself?” he asked me.
“I’m doing pretty alright. Just got back from school… am waiting for this girl Sarah to call… Brian, Daniel, and I, are supposed to hang out with some ladies tonight” I said, grinning as I typed in that last part.
“Ladies eh? Are they fine ladies?” he asked me.
I thought for a moment.
“Oh yes – the finest” I replied, before actually chuckling to myself.
“Nice… who is this Sarah girl? What happened today with that Emily you were talking about?” he asked me.
“Emily is taken though which sucks… but her friend Sarah wanted to hang out today. Sarah seems pretty cool too so we’ll see what happens” I replied.
“Cheers” Luke replied.
I laughed, and decided to open up the story that I had been writing. In only a click or two, I was opening up my word processor and looking at my story.
“Diaper Time”
By Baby
I stared at the title blankly… this was the most perfect time to start writing. I decided to scroll down a bit, down to where I had left off before…
“I snuck up the steps and
into my room cause I knew my mom was around. I closed the door. I put my
diapers on my bed. I took one out of the bag. I put one on. It made me feel
like a little boy, and I got a stiffy. So I started touching it. It felt good.”
I sat there, looking at my text. I knew very well about how bad the story was… the lack of details. On one side, I felt kind of crappy about it… but on the other, I knew that no one cared about anything like that with where this story was going, and what it was about!
To me, the TB/DL community was good, but no one really truly read stories for their content… only for getting off, right?
…right?
I started to write some more, but I realized I wasn’t going anywhere. I needed inspiration… the more I read, and thought about this scene in my story… I quickly found myself really needing… certain motivation to write these kinds of scenes.
This was, after all, the big masturbation scene that everyone reads these kinds of stories for. I needed motivation… maybe… maybe if I were to put a diaper on, that’d help motivate me to write something like this.
I thought and I thought, and I could feel myself growing hotter. It was such a sudden feeling, too. Like a bomb going off, I suddenly was ignited with the desire to wear a diaper, to be young again… to feel small. The idea both turned me on, but also gave me thoughts on how to write this story. It was both a stimulant and a relaxer.
I wanted this story done… and I wanted to put a diaper on… but what about Sarah? Surely she’d be calling me. But that’s right when it hit me… she’d CALL me! Not a problem!
I didn’t need to hide anything, or hold myself back at all. Sarah was not simply going to show up, and therefor, I could simply wear a diaper and relax while I waited. When she called, I’d simply take the diaper off and get ready then.
Problem solved.
I turned my attention away from my, and immediately went to my bed. I ducked under the bed and, without even having to see, pulled a plastic store bag out from the darkness.
Within it was none other than the diapers I intended to wear (the same one I bought earlier this month), and even the pacifier that I intended to use. I popped the pacifier in my mouth, and didn’t hesitate to pull my pants and boxers off of myself. Lying on the bed, I put the diaper on myself, and relaxed.
I felt strange, though. Even though I was relaxed, I was feeling that familiar heat surge through my body. My heart was thumping a tad harder, a tad faster. My perception was getting less and less focused on my surroundings, and more and more inward.
Yes… this is definitely the motivation I needed.
I plopped my diapered butt back in my computer chair, and began writing. The scene started simple enough, but it went on and on. I wasn’t horny here. No, no – I was in a different state of mind. I felt so secure… so relaxed. Something about diapers had a very strange, almost therapeutic effect on me.
It’s stupid, but it’s true. I couldn’t describe it.
It seemed like forever as I wrote on and on about it. I’m guessing I had been writing for about a half-hour before I couldn’t go on anymore. In time, though – I did have to stop. I wet my diaper. Actually, I flooded my diaper.
That was the only time I stopped writing. But once I felt the warmth against me, and the squishiness… I had to stop writing. This was more than I could handle for now.
I saved my story, which was now almost completely done. And I ventured over to my bed, where I lay down. I was kind of cold, being only in my diaper – so I crawled under the sheets.
I rubbed and pressed the soggy
diaper against myself, smiling. My mind raced, and suddenly, I was no longer
As I rubbed and thought innocently dirty thoughts, I began to moan and sigh in pleasure. My hand quickened, and my pacifier was sucked harder as I felt – it – about to happen. I was burning out of control!
I had never felt this aroused in my entire –
“
And suddenly, as I froze DEAD in my tracks, I heard it. The sound of my doorknob twisting and the squeak of my door opening.
“
Someone was in my doorway!!!
“HUH!?” I asked.
I heard a girl giggle. It sounded like…
“W-W-W-Who’s there!?” I yelled.
My heart STOPPED, as I hid under the blanket.
“It’s Sarah!”
I could barely move… my whole body was stiff at that moment. It was hard to breathe under the blanket in the first place, but in this situation, it was even harder. I slowly, careful to not make my diaper crinkle, shifted the blanket and popped only my head out.
“Chapter Twenty-Two, Hidden in Plain View”
I must’ve looked like I just saw a ghost as I looked up at Sarah, who was standing only a few feet away from me.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
I had no way to reply. Did she see me in a diaper, somehow? Was it poking out of the blanket? Is my pacifier on the floor? Oh no! What about the bag of diapers! I did kick them back under the bed, right!? Wait… my monitor! Was that showing something I didn’t want it to?! How did she even get in here!?
“W-What do you ming…” I said.
My voice cracked, and I swallowed hard at the end of my sentence. I cleared my throat…
“Eh hem… I mean… what do you um… mean?” I asked.
I couldn’t help it... I wasn’t even trying, and I felt like a child, but not in the way I enjoyed.
She shrugged, but she didn’t have a scowl. She was smiling!
“Did I wake you up?” she asked.
I stared at her a blank, baffled stare.
“Yes” I replied, and I looked away.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” she replied.
“Y-Yeah um…” I began to say.
“I uh… I was tired… so I went to sleep… and um… yeah, you woke me up” I replied.
“Oh okay, well, we’re here!” she said.
“…we who? And… wait… what ARE you doing here?” I asked.
“Huh? Oh! Well, me, Nichole, and those kids Brian and Daniel are here. We called Brian because for some reason he gave my sister his number… anyway, Brian’s parents dropped them off at my house, and we walked over here” she explained.
“…why did you do that? Why didn’t you call?!” I asked.
“…well… because… I don’t know. We forgot I guess! Anyway, we figured since you’re new around here you might not know the names of streets, so we’re just going to walk back to my house from here” Sarah explained.
I continued to stare at her. My mouth was wide open… I had absolutely no response. I was still too scared of what she may have seen. But as she explained this to me, I began to assume that she may have seen nothing at all… not yet, anyway.
“Oh… O-Okay, I um… I’ll… I’ll be down in a minute, okay?” I said.
I faked a smirk. But she looked at me, and her friendly smile suddenly changed to a more playfully, menacingly evil expression.
“Ohhhh! You’re in your boxers, huh?!” she said.
“Uhh… well…” I said.
“
This time though, it was a voice that was familiar, and one that I trusted (and at this point, welcomed) more than Sarah. Sarah and I both turned our heads to see Brian standing in the doorway.
“H-Hey!” I said.
As much as I didn’t want Brian to come in (I wanted everyone to leave so I could get out of this ridiculous situation).
“What’s going on?” he asked.
“I was –“
“He was sleeping, and I just kind of barged in and woke him up” Sarah explained.
Brain kind of squinted his eyes, in that “Why would you just barge into his room” kind of way.
“You coming man?” Brian asked.
I nodded vigorously. The sooner I got them out of the room, the sooner I could get dressed!
“Yeah, let me just get dressed” I said.
“Whoa! Alright, c’mon Sarah” Brian said.
Sarah giggled, and walked out of the room, following behind Brian – but she did not close the door. Instead, she stood sarcastically on the other side of the doorway, and began watching me from in the hallway of my house.
I sighed… but tried being patient.
“Can I get dressed, Sarah?” I asked.
“Maybe” she said, with a grin.
I was getting annoying. The cute girl thing was losing its charm.
“In uhh… private, please?” I asked.
Suddenly, though – before she was able to say anything at all, Brian came waltzing back in. He sighed a frustrated sigh, looked at me, rolling his eyes with an expression that I could understand, before slamming the door shut. He seemed annoyed.
His expression seemed to me like,
“
I believed that was a fairly good, reasonable thing to assume.
Although the door was now shut – I didn’t dare breathe easy nor move a muscle. I could only guess that the door was going to swing open at any moment. And I was stuck underneath a blanket with a wet diaper on, with my friends just outside the other door. My pants were at the edge of the bed, and I was still nervous to put them on.
I definitely did not want to dare putting them on in the open, in my room. With my luck, the door would swing open again, and I’d be there in the open for all to see. Sure, I could try to lock my door – which it obviously was not – but that would involve getting up… which would involve exposing myself.
Suddenly, right as I was about to move, I could hear someone playing with the doorknob, acting as if they were turning it, but only enough to make a sound. That’s when I heard Sarah’s childish laugh.
I rolled my eyes, and looked around. There was nothing I could do! At any moment, that girl was going to come storming back in.
“What the hell is wrong with that girl?” I said.
I said it very quietly, though – to myself.
Very carefully… I inched myself over to my pants by leaning over the bedside. I kept the blanket around me, and eventually grabbed my pants using the tips of my index and middle fingers – using them like a pair of tongs.
I quickly whipped them onto the underside of my blanket, and then I put my head back underneath my blanket. I quickly put my boxers on, and then my pants back on, over my diaper… and I hesitantly removed my blanket.
My diaper was no longer in the open… and I could now almost breathe easily. The diaper was still on me… though I wasn’t as interested in wearing it anymore as I was only a few minutes ago. My penis had become flaccid and soft from disappointment… I still felt frustrated about not being able to finish – but the shock from having someone walk in was comparable to having someone dump ice cold water on me shortly before kicking me in nuts. Masturbation was on a very low spot on my priority list at this point.
But it was right as I was kicking the bag of diapers even farther underneath my bed that suddenly there was yet another knock on my door. I suddenly became mad!
“What!?” I yelled.
“
“What’s up dude?” I asked through the door.
“Can I come in?” I heard.
I sighed, and slapped myself in the face, lightly rubbing it with the palms of my hands.
“…yeah… yeah, come in” I said.
Brian opened the door, and he hastily came in.
“What’s up?” I asked.
He sighed, and shook his head… and took a deep breath. It was as if he had just ran a mile without stopping and this was his first break.
“Man… that… that Sarah girl – she’s a wild one” he explained.
I shrugged. I really wasn’t happy anymore. The fact that I knew that I was no longer in danger of being seen in a diaper allowed the emotion and frustration pour in. Why the hell did Sarah just run into my room? And why didn’t she call? Actually… why didn’t Brian call, either!?
“Yeah I um… saw that” I said with a bit of an annoyed tone.
“Are you pissed man?” he asked me. He seemed confused.
I shrugged again.
“Well… yeah man. Why’s she running around all over my house, just barging it… and why didn’t you call?” I asked.
Brian took a step back, but put his arms out.
“I… dunno? I didn’t know it was a huge deal if I did or didn’t” Brian explained.
I sat back down on my bed, which had a squishy ‘splut’ to it that only I was aware of.
“…and Sarah just kind of took off. We were chilling when your mom opened the door. She was talking like ninety miles an hour when we were walking over here and she was asked like twenty questions about you. She asked your mom where your room was, and then like… she took off. I guess we were expecting her to… you know… not just walk in.” Brian continued.
I just kind of stared off, looking towards the floor. To Brian, I probably looked more upset about Sarah just barging in, than I really was. Truth was, I was beginning to get really nervous about having to wear this diaper out of the house. As I thought about it, I suddenly began to realize what a terrible idea it was for me to go out in this diaper.
That really was the only option I had. I had no way of taking this off, and I wasn’t going to leave it under my bed in case it started to stink.
I was meeting new people… and this was involving two of the most popular girls in school. Emily might even be there! What if I got caught? It would be… disastrous. It wouldn’t be any better if Seth, Brian, or Daniel found out… but they at least knew me more. They’d probably be at least a SMALL bit more understanding than strangers!
“…
I kind of jumped as he said that… it knocked me out of my daze.
“Huh? What?” I asked.
“Um… are you okay? You seem really strange” Brian said.
I sat there… my breathing was heavier. My heart beat was beating harder. My hands… felt sweaty. The world was turning into a darker, more claustrophobic place. I began getting scared about all of the possibilities of things that could… no… WOULD happen if I left with this diaper on.
The more I thought about leaving with a diaper on, I started getting lost in terrifying thoughts.
“N-Nothing” I said.
I quickly stood up. I felt slightly dizzy… but I tried to ignore it.
“L-Let’s go” I said.
My heart rate was getting faster, and harder… I was getting really scared all of the sudden!
“Okay” Brian said.
I stood in the room, and looked around. Although there was sun peaking through my windows, it was as if I was wearing sunglasses. The world, though bright, appeared dark to me… and I was growing more and more terrified as time continued. Something strange was happening… and I didn’t want to experience it.
“Now… we got to go, now” I said.
Brian backed away, and squinted at me.
“You sure you’re okay?” he asked.
I swallowed hard, and nodded vigorously.
“Yeah man, I just want to get going. Wasted enough time um… sleeping… let’s just go and hangout” I said.
I wanted to escape that room… I wanted to go somewhere different. I didn’t feel safe as my perception was changing. I figured maybe it was just the adrenaline rush of what had just happened wearing off… it was doing strange things in my head.
“Alright man, if you say so” Brian said.
Without a second thought, Brian and I both exited my room and made our way downstairs. There, I was greeted by Sarah, Nichole, Daniel – and my mom (who was chatting and catering to her unexpected guests).
“Heyyy Aden” Sarah said.
“Hey” I replied.
Nichole waved, Daniel gave me a head nod, and my mom smiled sweetly at me.
“Were you taking a nap?” my mom asked.
“Yeah” I replied, doing my best to make it seem convincing.
“I thought so, you were awful quiet up there” she said, laughing.
I just kind of replied with a nervous smile, and shrugged.
After a moment or two of more idle chat, I explained to my mom where I was going and that I’d be back in a few hours – and then I was on my way out the door, on my way to Sarah’s house.
Yes, in a soaking wet, squishy, crinkly diaper… I was walking down the street with a group of people I mostly just met earlier that day. I didn’t want to be… but I was caught in a situation that I suddenly realized there was no escaping from. This was it, and I’d have to continue with it and do my absolute best not to get caught.
---
With every step I took, I listened for the crinkling of my diaper – which to me was louder than the cars that would pass by us once in a while. But I guess it was entirely in my head – which it probably was – because no one said or acknowledged it. I suppose in reality, the crinkle of a diaper was really quiet. Only in dead silence, or when your diaper is the only thing you’re wearing, is it the loudest.
But what about the bulge?! Was it showing? I quickly glanced down at myself to see… and of course, I thought maybe I could see something. Surely, a wet diaper would bulge, right? But once again… it seemed that my anxiety was playing tricks on me.
…or was it? What if no one has noticed yet? Or just hasn’t said anything? What if they actually knew I was wearing a diaper, and they just hadn’t openly questioned it!? I bet if I left the room, they’d all start joking around, and asking about it. I’d be a laughing stock of the whole school… I’d be ruined.
“Stop!” I thought.
I was driving myself mad. I simply shook my head, and tried my best to stop my hasty conclusions. I decided to try to concentrate on what was going on around me.
I was really too nervous to notice the beautiful day it was outside, as we walked down the street. The sun was gleaming still, and there were some clouds in the sky, but it was strange. There was crispness in the air that seemed to make everything seem more vivid… more open.
Looking into the sky, the cerulean blue and pure white clouds, mixed with the light gentle breeze that carried the crunchy leaves around… it somewhat calmed me down. It felt as if though, that the world was open. It was as if I could just fly away. I couldn’t describe it… but it really was a beautiful day – I’ll just leave it at that.
“
It was Brian calling me. Looking up (as I looked like I was looking down at my feet, when I was really looking at my pants), I could see everyone in the crowd staring at me.
“Huh? Oh – yeah. I’m just still groggy from my nap. Sorry” I admitted.
Brian and Nichole simply turned their heads back toward the direction they were walking, but Daniel kind of squinted his eyes, as if suspicious of something.
Sarah – though… she was the last one to turn her head after looking at me. She beamed me a kind of… friendly smile. I wasn’t sure how to handle it. Not at the moment, anyway.
“So um… is this everyone who’ll be up at the house?” I asked.
“I dunno” Nichole suddenly replied.
“I invited Oscar and Emily to come over. They might… I’m not sure” she admitted.
I nodded, and didn’t say much again after that.
There really wasn’t a whole lot to say. And I was too anxious about, not only what I just experienced in my room… but the fact that I was wearing that diaper. I did my best to simply ignore it, but a wet diaper was pretty hard to ignore.
We walked down my street, and began walking as if we were walking towards Seth’s house – but instead of making a left where you had to, we made a right, and walked down the other side of Seth’s street for a long while, until eventually turning deeper into the neighborhood.
I was not familiar with this area, at all. But, I knew that I was only a few blocks from my house. The houses began to look different almost instantly though, at the turn of a corner. It all began as you turned onto Seth’s street. The houses were large, older, and more expensive and impressive than the houses in my neighborhood, or Brian’s.
Now, Brian and I were definitely not in the ghetto, and we weren’t poor. Our families brought in a good amount of money to live very well and comfortably – but our houses definitely didn’t look like this!
We only walked a few more minutes past turning off Seth’s street, before we suddenly stopped, and were standing in front of a large, expensive looking Victorian house.
“Well, this is it!” Sarah explained.
“Cool” I replied.
She smiled, and we wasted no time walking down the front walkway towards her porch. But it was right as we approached front porch that suddenly we heard a loud, strange sound – the sound of a car’s horn screaming from just behind us!
We all jumped, and looked back – but there was no car on the road… except one red, old beater parked in front of her house that we had ignored. Because it wasn’t running, and we saw no movement in it… we thought nothing of the 1980-something, haggard vehicle just sitting there.
Then again… in a neighborhood like this, a car like that was somewhat out of place.
“Someone’s in that?” Sarah said – but it was Nichole that immediately started walking towards it.
She walked towards the car that was, still, slamming its horn – until she got almost close enough to see who was in it. The moment she got close to it, the horn stopped, and the car door opened – and out came none other than Oscar, with a cheesy smile.
“What’s up guys!?” he said, excitedly.
“This is your car?!” Nichole yelled, and suddenly Sarah ran up behind her sister, just as excited.
“Wow Oscar” Sarah said.
She closed her eyes and began laughing hard.
“Just like you described… a red Lamborghini with suicide doors. These must be the 26 inch chrome spinners, and tinted windows, right?” Sarah said, laughing harder and harder as she examined the car.
“Huh? W-What? It IS! Look at this here” he said, suddenly becoming just as sarcastic.
“See these rims? TWENTY SIX INCHES SON! Look at them GLEAM! And when I stop at the light, these things spin so much… if you stare at them, yo’ you’ll pass out” Oscar said.
“I see!” Sarah said.
The rims, were, in fact stock hubcaps that were dark grey, mostly due to scum and disgust building up.
“And these windows really are tinted” he said. This time, though – he had a more serious attitude.
“Yeah, because there’s like… crap on them. I can write my name on them!” Nichole said.
Everyone, Brian and Daniel included, were all cracking up – and even I, being so filled with anxiety as I was, began cracking a smile, and laughing. And in the midst of the laughter, suddenly the passenger side door (the door that led onto the sidewalk) popped open, and out came another familiar face – none other than Emily herself.
“Hey guys” she said, waving seemingly shyly towards everyone.
She looked at me, and nodded with a smile.
“Hi
I smiled back… I couldn’t help but be at a loss for words.
“Well… uh… you know… I’m full of surprises” was the only thing to come out of my mouth. I probably looked like a moron… but I couldn’t help it at the time.
We all stood around outside, around Oscar’s car for a short while – before moving back towards Sarah’s house and eventually walking inside.
---
We walked into the house, and despite how nice the house was on the outside, it was fairly normal on the inside. There were no marble pillars stretching to the ceiling, or 10,000 dollar TVs. It was a pretty simple living room… kind of reminded me of my own, actually – the way it was set up. The couch was sitting near the front door, and the TV was across from it, across the room. There was a nice, decorative coffee table and some fine pieces of art on the walls. Sure, the furniture was stylishly above average – but it was nothing too astounding.
Sarah’s and Nichole’s parents were wealthy, but no more so than the rest of us – despite the huge size and style of their house!
We all just kind of piled into the living room. Everyone was joking and laughing and having a pretty good time. And although I was having a good time, I was finding it very hard to simply relax with the soggy diaper between my legs. I was still worried that someone would find out… but with the noise going on, I began to realize that it was likely not going to happen. Still, the anxiety caused me to mostly sit back in silence, and just examine. I wasn’t nearly as excitable as I normally was, I suppose.
I noticed that I was being pretty inwardly focused… I couldn’t really stop thinking about scary thoughts. Once I got out of this diaper though… that’d fix things, right?
“So man, what’s your name again, bro?” Oscar asked Brian.
“Brian, man” Brian said.
The two had smiles on their faces, and were laughing pretty hard about something that I must’ve missed.
“Word. And what about you?” he asked, looking at Daniel.
“Daniel – I’m his brother” he explained.
“Oh that’s cool –“
“Yeah you know Danny Namble! He’s on the football team” Nichole said.
Daniel just kind of chuckled.
“Yeah…” he said. He had some pride in his voice when he said it though.
I, though – as this conversation went on, was just sitting there, quietly to myself on the couch. The squishy diaper pressing against me was actually growing a bit uncomfortable, and I found myself shifting in my seat a bit. It started to itch, and felt really humid and hot.
Could they hear the crinkling? Did they see it through my pants? Oh no… did it smell, at all? A wet diaper CAN stink after a while! And when I came to think of it… I had never worn a wet diaper THIS long before… oh no… how long DID it take until it started to stink?
The escalating tension about myself built up and up and up, until I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed some time to myself!
“H-Hey” I said, mostly to Sarah.
“Sup
“Where’s your bathroom at?” I asked.
Using her pointer finger, she pointed upstairs.
“You can’t really miss it. Just look for you know… the bathtub and stuff…” she said.
I shrugged.
“Haha… alright, makes sense” I said, as I stood up from the couch.
I walked upstairs, and looked around in the hallway. This house was built similarly to how Brian’s house was… I ended up finding the bathroom at the end of the hall, just like Brian’s house.
I shut the door behind me, and made sure the door was locked. I wasn’t going to do anything… I just wanted some time to myself, to let my head clear up. I was scared… there was no doubt of that. But I knew there was nothing to be scared of, which was the annoying part. Sure, the diaper being noticed would be terrible, but I realized that the chances of it happening were very slim.
I simply stared at myself in the mirror… which was pretty strange to do in the dim light that was being cast through the blinds that were covering the window. I took some water, and patted myself with it in the face, and sighed.
“C’mon
Suddenly though I noticed something in my chest… my heartbeat. It was harder than normal… faster, too. And… and my throat… it felt like there was something in it, right at the base. It was a bit harder to breathe, in a way.
What was going on?
I shook my head, and tried to think happy thoughts.
The thought of this diaper getting off of me in only another hour or two was relaxing, that’s for sure. I nodded at myself, took a deep breath, and finally exited the bathroom, and walking back downstairs
I simply sat back down on the couch, and relaxed. But that’s when something interesting happened:
“
Looking up, I could see none other Sarah’s head peeking around the doorway that led into the kitchen.
“What’s up?” I asked.
She smiled, and jerked her head in a “come here!” kind of way. I squinted my eyes, confused, and looked around. Everyone was being quiet, and as I looked at them, I realized that they were all kind of peaking at me. I’d look at them, and they’d look away with their eyes… acting as if they hadn’t been looking at me.
I got up, and feeling kind of strange… I walked into the kitchen, and approached Sarah. It was only her and I in there.
“Hey” she said. She had kind of a whispery tone.
She smiled, and jerked her head so that the hair would get out of her eyes.
“What’s up?” I asked.
That’s when she got real close to me… we weren’t pressed against each other, but I could tell she was being very secretive about whatever she was about to say, so I inched in as well.
“Do you um…” she began to say.
“Do you want to get out of here for a bit? Get some fresh air?” she asked.
My eyes widened, and my mouth got kind of slack-jawed.
“Wha-what?” I asked.
She smirked.
“C’mon – your friends are okay. Everything’s fine. Let’s just you know… take a walk” she said to me.
I stared at her, mostly in disbelief. Was she… really asking me this? I had never had a girl want to be alone with me before. Not that I was a loser – but I never had any interest in going out. I was just a kid who always minded his own business… so I really had no idea what to do here!
“Y-Yeah… sure!” I replied.
She smiled and kind of twinkled her eyes.
“Cool, I’ll go get my jacket. It’s kind of cold out there” she said.
And just like that, she walked away from me. I didn’t bother paying attention to where she went… I was still a bit shocked. Sarah obviously liked me… SHE liked ME! Suddenly, there was a bit of warmth growing across my chest. How could’ve I been so stupid to not see it before!?
I smiled to myself, before turning around. I was about to walk into the living room to let Brian and them know where I was going – but that was when I heard Sarah walking back.
“Okay, let’s just go out the back way” she said.
Spinning back around yet again, I saw her standing there with a hooded jacket with her hands in her pockets. She looked over towards the kitchen wall, which had a sliding glass door that we could leave the house from.
“Alright – cool” I replied.
She smiled at me, and just like that – I followed her out of the kitchen, and onto her deck. But we kept walking. We walked from her deck, through her beautiful backyard, through a gate… and kept on going.
---
“So,
“Maytersonville” I replied.
She nodded.
“Okay… that’s not too-too far from here” she said.
I nodded and confirmed.
She and I were walking alone, through the suburban streets of her neighborhood. There was not a single soul to be found anywhere despite it being such an awesomely beautiful day outside. The sky was vivid and bright blue, and there was a gentle calming breeze that carried the fallen leaves away from the half-dead, orange-and-red trees that dropped them. The sun was out of the sky by now, but there was plenty of light to go around – and despite its rays hitting everything around us, it was no more than 50 to 60 degrees. Definitely jacket weather... it was incredibly soothing, to me atleast.
“Did you have many friends back there?” she asked.
I nodded again.
“Yeah – I had my own bunch of friends. They were awesome – we used to hang out all the time” I began.
She giggled.
“Really? What’d you guys do?” she asked.
“Oh you know… ride bikes, play games, run around in the woods… all that stuff” I explained.
“Pretty much the same stuff I do now, with Brian and Seth” I said.
She smiled.
“Ride bikes, huh? Did you do like, tricks and stuff? BMX?” she asked me.
I grinned.
“Actually – yeah. Me and my friends back there liked doing BMX a lot. I don’t do it too much with Brian and Seth anymore since they’re not as much into it as I am” I explained.
“Cool! I don’t know how you boys can do that stuff… I’d be scared of getting hurt” she said.
“Oh well… you know… I’ve fallen and gotten hurt. But… it’s what happens. Can’t get better if you don’t push yourself” I explained.
She smiled widely, and we made eye-contact.
“That’s cool
I grinned, again – and squinted my eyes a bit. I couldn’t help but realize that I was trying to make myself appear “manly”, by trying to impress this girl I hardly even knew. But if she had an interest in me… then I definitely could share that interest back with her!
“Do you still hang out with those kids?” she asked me.
I thought for a brief moment.
“No… not really… it’s been a while. Not since I met Brian last school-year” I explained.
“How come?” she then asked.
I shrugged.
“I dunno… never got around to it, I guess” I said.
There was a brief moment of silence, as we both contemplated to ourselves. I felt a bit strange… I really didn’t know what to do, or what to say – and I couldn’t even begin to think about what she may have been thinking.
“So… have you lived here all your life?” I asked.
“Yup!” she replied.
“That house is the same one I’ve lived in since I was a baby. Grown up with the same kids so far… all that fun stuff” she explained.
“Ah… must be nice” I said.
“It can be annoying, actually” Sarah explained.
“Oh… really? Why?” I asked.
“Well… this town… no one really new moves here. It’s kind of rare. I’m going to be in high school with a lot of the same kids from my kindergarten class. Everyone gets along for the most part, but you know… I like fresh meat” she said.
We both all-of-the-sudden started cracking up at how she put the end.
“So I’m fresh meat huh?” I asked.
“Yup!” she said.
We both were laughing really hard.
“Well then… glad to be here” I said
We both finished our chuckles, until there was another awkward silence as we both continued our walk. To be honest, I had no idea where she and I were walking. I had confidence in Sarah’s sense of direction… but the more I thought about it, I kind of realized that she didn’t know either. I don’t really think she cared…
“So how come YOU moved, and came here?” she asked me.
I actually stopped and thought about it. That was a question that I had never been asked in the whole duration of my time being here.
“It was my mom’s decision” I explained.
“Really? Why’d she do that?” Sarah asked.
I sighed.
“My mom needed to relocate for work… that was the biggest reason. But I think she was just annoyed with living there. Maytersonville is very similar to here, I guess. It’s pretty a pretty close-knit community… everyone knows everybody. You see the same people and everyone’s families grow up with everyone’s families. Entire generations have grown up with each other. I think she just wanted to see somewhere new… have something different to see when she looked out the window” I explained.
She looked at me as if I had just spoken something profound.
“I understand exactly what your mom means, then” Sarah said.
I shrugged.
“I… don’t. I liked it there. She liked it there too… and we had a history there. But like I said… her work required her to relocate. That was just a bonus. I’ve gotten used to it here… I like it a lot. But sometimes I do wonder what would happen if I moved back there now” I explained.
She nodded.
“I gotcha” she said.
There was another silence – and we stopped moving.
“So where are we going, anyway?” I asked.
“Here” she said.
I looked around.
“Here?” I asked.
“Yup” she finished.
Looking around, I found us at the end of a dead-end street. We were a pretty good distance past the nearest house, and the road had actually ended where we stood. The street led to a guardrail and a lone streetlight, and the road itself, brick by brick, slowly-but-surely transitioned from stone to grass as it merged into woods that were beyond the guardrail.
It was a private, isolated spot. But we were still on a street.
“Why did we come here?” I asked, looking up.
The sun had begun to set by now. It was still bright, but darker than when she and I had left. Within the hour it would be dark.
“So we could go in there!” she said, pointing towards the entrance to the woods that were beyond the guardrail. There was a pretty clear path that had been created from so many feet trampling over the flora – so it was an obviously popular place to be.
“Okay… but, it’ll be dark soon” I warned.
She smiled evilly.
“So what? You afraid of the dark?” she said, giggling.
I smiled.
“Not one bit… let’s go, then” I finished.
I certainly was not afraid of the dark! And I definitely didn’t want this cute girl to think I was, either! I instantly hopped the guardrail, and began walking – and she followed close behind.
---
The trail was narrow, but clear as we both walked through the plants and under low hanging tree branches. We both ducked and turned as necessary, but the path was linear and relatively short. As she and I made our way through, though, the path grew wider and the trees and plants around us got less dense, until we soon found ourselves walking into a wide open gully that formed an oval, about 30-40 yards in diameter.
It was a comfortable, quaint, isolated place. There wasn’t a sound for miles except for the sound of a distant creek that could be heard somewhere.
“What is this place?” I asked.
It was still bright enough to see everything very clearly. Even though we were in a gully, the whole woods around it were thin. Trees had some distance around them, and I noticed that there were trails leading off from this gully. We had descended a hill, following the path, and directly in front of us the land elevated back up again. What was beyond it, I couldn’t tell.
“This is just a clearing. It’s
kind of connected to some park though. Not like the park near your house –
though you can get there from here. This is some national park. We’re on the
outskirts of
“Really?” I asked.
“Yup. Over that hill is where the
woods kind of end. But behind us and all to our sides they go on for miles.
They surround
I pretty much understood. In one direction, you’re driving out of town and into a rural area. The closer through you get, the more scenic things get. The other side, well – there’s civilization and things get busier.
Sarah walked into the middle of the clearing, and I followed her. We only stood there for a moment, before she finally sat down in this grass and looked up at me. I couldn’t help but sit down next to her.
I felt suddenly like things were getting a lot more intense, though. I knew something was about to happen. The mood was there, in my opinion. This was definitely a romantic spot, and we could talk about anything in private. No one would know where we were.
“So how did you find THIS spot?” I asked.
“My sister and I… you know, Nichole… we used to come up here a lot in these woods to play. Us and our friends” she explained.
“Oh… okay. So you and your sister get along pretty well, then?” I asked.
“Yeah definitely… we stick together pretty close. I’m her little sister you know? She can get on my nerves sometimes but that’s what siblings do, I guess. She’s like one of my best friends” I heard her say.
She laid back in the grass, and stared up.
“That’s cool… who else are your best friends?” I asked. It was kind of a stupid question considering I met most of them, I assumed.
“Just the people you’ve met. My sister… Emily is pretty cool, and Oscar” I heard her say.
“What about that one kid, Gary?” I asked.
She shrugged.
“That kid is such a loser. I really don’t like him that much… and he cheated on my sister which makes me like him even less” she said.
That’s when I remembered earlier today, at the lunch table – and how that kid Gary was arguing with Nichole.
“Is that why Nichole was arguing with him at lunch today?” I asked.
She nodded.
“Yeah. She dumped him… but this isn’t the first time they’ve broken up. I’m sure they’ll make up somehow” she explained.
“Ahhh” I said.
I understood what she meant. It was one of THOSE kinds of relationships…
“I don’t know how someone could cheat so much” I said.
“Yeah… I think it’s stupid” she said.
“I’d never cheat” I then said.
That’s when there was some silence. Looking down at her, I watched as her eyes trailed up to me, and the girl smiled.
“That’s good,
I smiled back, and nodded – and there was more silence, again.
“
Her tone of voice was different. It was more sincere and kind of fragile sounding.
“Yeah, Sarah?” I asked.
She looked down at the ground, and looked very sheepish. She fondled some leaves with the tips of her fingers, and she sighed as if she was building up to say or ask something of dire importance.
“I um… I think you know… you’re pretty cool” she replied.
My heart skipped.
“R-Really?” I replied.
She smirked shyly and nodded.
“Yeah. You’re pretty cute” she said to me.
I smiled back. Suddenly, I felt a huge amount of heat surging through my body. I had never done this before… I didn’t know what to expect where this was going.
“You’re pretty cute too, Sarah” I said back.
She smiled.
“You think so?” she asked.
“Definitely” I replied.
I didn’t know what else to say… I was just being honest. The girl was cute. I looked at her, and gave her all of my undivided attention. Her dirty blond hair was just hanging down, covering her eyes a bit. Her hands were so dainty, and her eyes sparkled, twinkling back the rays of light from the setting sun above us. Her lips were so smooth and cute. Her nervous smirk beamed at me… and the more I stared at her… and the more I felt this raging fire inside my body… I couldn’t help but feel as if I was melting.
I lay down next to her, and stared up at the sky with her. The sun, by now, was absent from the sky. There was now a dark blue hue everywhere, and it was hard to see far through the trees. She and I were surrounded by darkness, except for that small gully that was still lit from there being no trees to conceal the light.
Lying there… after saying those words… I had no idea what to do. There was silence, but it was awkward. I felt as if I was supposed to be doing something, but I wasn’t sure what. Hold hands? Kiss her?
But as I lay there, I felt her inch her way closer to me, and her hand touched mine. And it was at that moment though that I suddenly felt her fingers wrap between mine, and they interlocked. Our hands grasped each other, and suddenly I felt myself even more nervous than before!
Here I was… holding hands with the most popular girl in school. She liked me, and I kind of liked her, too.
“
It was a soft, fragile whisper yet again.
“Yeah?” I asked her, turning me head.
Our faces were only inches from each other.
“Kiss me” she said, smiling.
And it was just like that. Even though I had absolutely no clue what I was really doing… if that’s what she wanted, then it was what I wanted too – and it was what I wanted.
I closed my eyes, and pressed my head towards hers. Her soft lips locked with mine, and that moment seemed to stretch on forever. We kissed again, and again – until I suppose you could say we were making out.
The whole moment to me… it was incredible. This was nothing like I had ever experienced before in my entire life… this was my first kiss. And this was amazing. Her soft whimpering… our lips… our hands… this closeness… this intimacy… it was beyond anything I could even begin to explain.
Time slowed down. She and I… we were the only two people on this earth. It was like I had taken some kind of drug. This here was nothing I had ever had happen to me. It was like something took over me, because before I knew it, everything was coming naturally.
I kissed her lips, and my free hand held her head closer to me. Everything seemed right… everything.
As this love of ours exploded… I could feel her hand brushing my thigh. Oh yeah… I liked that.
Suddenly she pulled away from me. I opened my eyes, and looked at her. She was breathing heavily, and her eyes were glassy.
Looked like I was getting some, tonight! Yeahhhhhhh!
She smiled at me, and slipped her jacket off. Oh man this is getting good. I could feel myself getting excited. This heat that was igniting me from the inside was getting me aroused again… just like earlier today, in that bedroom... with me in that diaper.
That diaper… oh man… oh WAIT!
Suddenly, that excitement from being horny suddenly turned into sudden panic. She climbed on top of me, and we both were kissing by now. But I was still in a diaper! I was still in that wet, soggy diaper! If we were about to have sex… then… she’d find it!
As she moved her body down towards my pants, I suddenly realized that this WAS a very real possibility.
“Wait!” I said, stopping the girl dead in her tracks.
“H-Huh, what?” she asked.
She was breathing heavily… her hair was hanging down in her face. Me saying “wait” had suddenly put a stop on absolutely everything at this moment.
“M-Maybe… maybe we shouldn’t…” I said.
She looked at me, confused. She flicked the hair out of her eyes.
“What? Why?” I heard her ask.
She didn’t seem mad. But she seemed genuinely confused!
“I… dunno… this is all moving really fast, Sarah” I said.
The break in the moment here… it was enough to make that one not really a lie. Now that I could think for a moment, it was really fast. She stared at me, and though still heavily breathing, she sighed, and sat back in the leaves.
“But… are you sure…? I mean… most boys would like this!” she said.
I looked at her and suddenly felt like I had done something very wrong.
“Yeah but… Sarah… I’m not like most boys” I said.
She stared at me, and looked away.
“It’s… not… me, is it?” she asked.
“What? No!” I assured.
Sarah stared at me, and she looked offended. I felt terrible… that wonderful feeling of romance, and intimacy was just shattered and all that was left was awkwardness. I didn’t know what to say as she analyzed me to see if I was lying. If only the poor girl knew about what I was hiding in plain sight this whole time… if only I hadn’t been so stupid and actually locked the damn door in my bedroom this afternoon!
Suddenly, though – something broke the silence instantly. It was a sound so loud it actually made both of us jump. A melodic, electronic song playing… obviously, it was a cell phone. Sarah looked down and dug in her pocket, and pulled it out.
“It’s Nichole” she said.
She looked at me, and I had nothing to say.
“I’m… sorry” I said.
She sighed, before answering the phone. I looked away, and wanted to punch myself right in the face. She was obviously offended… and now it was just awkward. Our relationship here could easily have just been shattered. Maybe she thought I thought she was ugly? Or maybe she thought that I was just… not man enough for her.
“What’s up?” I heard her say.
I could hear a voice on the phone, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying.
“Yeah I’m out walking around with
It was like being stabbed. This was really an embarrassing situation.
“Yeah we’ll be back in like 10 minutes” she said.
“Who else showed up?” she then asked.
I listened carefully… but I couldn’t hear anything.
“Alright, we’ll be back in a few minutes” she said.
That’s when she hung up the phone, and stood up. She put her jacket back on and dusted herself off.
“Well… let’s go” she said.
I stood up, and began following the girl home.
---
I felt terrible as we walked back toward her house. Neither of us spoke, and we just kind of hastily made our way back to the house, away from the awkward situation in those woods.
It seemed a lot longer of a walk on the way back than it did on the way to the woods. But I guess in reality it was only a few minutes - maybe ten or fifteen. It probably seemed longer because of the change in atmosphere.
It was now night time. The sky was completely black, and so it was a lot different looking with street lights instead of sunlight. And I think we may have even taken a different route back towards her house.
Eventually, though – we landed back on her street, and we found ourselves walking back in through her front door.
Walking in from the silence that I was used to, to the sudden noise that was in this house was a bit of a shocker. There was music playing, and a lot more voices than I was expecting.
We turned in from the hallway, and went into the living room, and there was obviously a party going on in there. It was no longer just Brian, Daniel, Nichole, Oscar, and Emily. There were a few more faces that I had never seen before!
This little gathering had literally erupted into a house party within the two hours Sarah and I were gone. I looked over at Sarah, who… didn’t really seem phased, at all.
“What’s going on!?” I asked.
“It’s a party” Sarah replied. She had flat tone to her voice… she seemed very unhappy.
I looked around… yeah – it was definitely that. There were a lot of people I didn’t know, all standing around blasting music. Most of them were actually older (and bigger) than me (they looked like they were juniors and seniors in high school) and were holding red plastic cups, all laughing and having a good time. They mostly looked like jocks… people that I had no interest in messing with.
“Won’t your parents be pissed?” I asked, shocked at this sudden surprise.
She looked at me and started laughing.
“They’re out of town for the whole weekend” she said to me, shrugging.
Suddenly… I felt very stupid.
“…oh” I said.
That’s when she continued…
“Yeah, we’re having a party. These are mostly Nichole’s friends… and Oscar’s, too” she said.
I shrugged.
“Well… I got to go looking for Brian and Daniel” I said.
She nodded.
“Well… I’m going to go find my sister” she said.
We split ways. She wandered upstairs, while I made passage through the crowded living room. The music was blasting so loudly, the kids around me were all yelling… it was disorienting.
I made my way into the kitchen, where there were still more people. There was pizza on the table, and a cooler, too. Practically forcing my way through people, paying close attention to anyone new I saw to make sure it wasn’t Brian or Daniel.
But neither of them were to be found, anywhere!
Noticing that the screen door was open, I walked through and onto the deck. Out on the deck, I could hardly see a thing. I knew there were people on it with me… but they were being quiet. Realizing that it was definitely the make out spot… I turned around and walked away…
But that’s when something interesting happened. As I turned into the kitchen, I could hear Sarah making her way through!
“GET OUT OF MY WAY!” I heard her yell.
Looking over, there was a cluster of people that were standing around the table, which was in the center of the kitchen – making it very hard for anyone to get to where I was.
“Who the hell are you?” I heard a random voice say.
“Who the hell am I? I’m Sarah, you asshole – I’m Nichole’s sister. Now get the hell out of my way before I get your ass kicked! Anymore questions?” she said.
“Man whatever…” I heard that same random voice say.
Suddenly, I could see her barge her way between two people. She looked up at me, and with a shocked expression, hopped back kind of.
“Oh –
Staring at her with a blank expression… I just kind of shook my head. I was a bit shocked at how Sarah made her way through! I guess my expression said that for me.
She sighed…
“They’re morons. Can’t stand it when people just stand there in my way, when they clearly see me coming…” she said, sounding aggravated.
I nodded.
“Alright, let me look out there” she said, making her way past me. I certainly didn’t stand in her way!
I watched her walk over to the deck, which was covered in complete darkness. She peaked out, but didn’t see anyone. That’s when she looked over at the wall next to the sliding glass door, and simply flicked a switch, and then BAM! The deck’s outdoor lights came flashing on, and everyone on the deck was put on the spot for all to see.
What I saw though… surprised me. It was something I was not expecting.
The few people on the deck were making out, which I understood. On the left were two random people I didn’t know, and therefore didn’t care for. But it was the two people on the right that surprised me the most.
“Hey who the fuck?” I heard.
It was Nichole’s voice. On the right side of the deck, I could see her look around.
“Sarah what the hell are you doing!?” she asked.
“I need to talk to you about something when you’re done sucking Seth’s face off” she said.
That’s right.
The person she was making out with was not Brian, nor Daniel. It was none other than Seth. Seth was not only at the party that Brian and Daniel were at, he was making out with the girl Brian liked. He and I made eye-contact for a moment.
“Sup
“Seth?!” I replied.
Nichole sighed.
“Turn that light off…” she said, walking away from Seth, and approaching Sarah.
Sarah and Nichole walked away from me to talk about whatever it was they were talking about, and Seth approached me.
“Having fun?” Seth asked.
“I uhh…” I began to say.
I had nothing to say. I was having an okay time, but that was with Sarah. By now, I just wanted to find Brian and Daniel and leave.
“Don’t lie man, I heard about you and Sarah!” he said, laughing.
He walked up to me, and put his hand on my shoulder.
“Good job man” he said, pretty much winking at me.
“Eh… Thanks” I said. I didn’t know really how to react.
Somehow, I didn’t feel like Seth
was doing the right thing, by being at this party. The party was pretty big,
and there were a lot of older kids around. And I was pretty sure there was
alcohol going around. I knew Seth… I knew he would be in a
I didn’t even want to be there… it was actually making me feel real uncomfortable, being with all the kids that I don’t know when they’re doing things I didn’t want to be involved with.
“Seth, man… I don’t think we should be here” I said.
He looked at me funny.
“Well… you can go ahead and leave. I’m staying” he said.
“You’ll be in so much trouble dude, if your parents find out” I explained.
He shook his head.
“Well no duh… that’s why they’re not going to find out” he said.
I looked around cautiously, before getting closer.
“Look, Seth. I think there’s alcohol here. If the cops come and close this down, you’re going to be in more trouble than just getting grounded” I warned.
He sighed… he seemed aggravated.
“
I took a step back.
“Huh?” I asked.
“I’m just sitting here having a
good time and you’re trying to ruin it. If I want to drink, I will, alright? I
haven’t yet, and to be honest I didn’t really plan to. But you know what, maybe
now I will – just to piss you off,
He had a real bad attitude… and it both offended me and made me mad.
“Wow Seth… you are such an asshole” I said.
“What?” he said to me.
“I don’t know what the hell happened to you man. Ever since this summer you’ve changed… you used to be cool. Now you’re just an asshole” I said.
He rolled his eyes.
“Yeah sorry
Yeah, he began to say it. He almost did. He was one word away from saying “running around in diapers”. But I kept my mouth shut, simply because he didn’t say it.
“Tch… you know what I’m talking about” he said.
I just stood there. I could feel my heart racing, and the adrenaline pumping. I was getting so, so mad at Seth right now.
“Whatever Seth. I’m getting out of here. You want to disappoint your parents just like you’re disappointing your friends, go ahead. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you” I said.
“Yeah whatever
I had had enough of Seth and his meaningless arguing.
“Fine Seth, I’m done. Have fun” I said.
He didn’t say anything to me, and so I simply walked away from him. I pushed my way through the people, and made my way into the living room where I found Sarah and Nichole again.
“Hey, Sarah” I said. I had a bit of a frustrated sigh to my voice.
“I can’t find Brian anywhere…” I explained.
“Brian and Daniel?” Nichole asked.
“Yeah”
“Oh well, they left a little while ago when people started showing up” she explained.
I looked at her.
“Are you serious?” I asked.
She nodded.
“Yeah man” she explained.
I sighed, frustrated.
“Alright, thanks. Hey, I think I’m going to go, too. I uh… I have a headache, and this music is killing me” I explained.
Sarah smirked
“Alright
I kind of smirked back at her.
“Definitely” I said.
“ I want to call you… maybe tomorrow or something… is that cool?” I asked.
She smirked and nodded.
“Yeah
There was awkwardness between us – one that I know neither of us wanted. She seemed embarrassed, or angry. I couldn’t tell.
“Whoa, whaaaaat?!” I heard.
Spinning around, suddenly I found Oscar standing there. He had not one, but two red plastic cups in his hand. His eyes were a tad sunken looking, and were red, with a glassy tint to them. He was obviously a bit tipsy… well… probably a bit more than tipsy.
“You leavin’ man!?” he said.
Well… he was actually yelling. But to him he was talking.
“Yeah” I said.
He shook his head.
“Alright bro! I tell you what mannn… get at me, tomorrow, a’ight? Or… something” he said.
I laughed at his silly drunken stupor.
“Haha, I don’t have your number, man” I said.
“That Brian kid does. Oh, hey – have you seen Seth at all?” he asked.
I nodded.
“Yeah, he’s over on the deck” I explained.
“Niiiice! Alright, later man” he said.
“Later, Oscar” I replied.
I walked away, taking two steps towards the front door.
“Wait!” I yelled, spinning around.
Oscar spun around.
“Suuup brahhh?” he said.
“You ain’t… you know… driving… home, tonight, are you?” I asked.
He looked at me, and thought real hard about that one. Smiling, looking up, and kind of making a stupid expression, he shook his head.
“Nahhh man. Me and Emily are sleeping over here tonight…” he said.
I nodded.
“Cool… alright man… later!” I said.
He smirked at me, and waved ‘bye’ to me.
“Seeeeeeeth! I got something for you bro!” I heard Oscar yell, as he was walking into the kitchen.
I cringed, and I actually stopped. But I remembered our little argument, a few minutes ago… I just kept walking.
I simply began making my way out of the house. I had to push my way through people that were walking into the house, but I managed to get out of the yard, nonetheless.
---
As the loud, blasting music began to get quieter, I began to really soak in the events of what happened during the day. I felt a sigh of relief as I knew I no longer had to worry about wearing that stupid diaper anymore… that was a relief, that’s for sure.
My walk home seemed a lengthy one, but in reality was only a few minutes. It was strange walking from there… once or twice I thought I may have gotten lost or turned somewhere I shouldn’t have – but I made my way home safely eventually.
I chatted with my mom, but not for long because I wanted to get that diaper off. Once I was finally in my room – I confirmed that the door was locked, and I took a plastic bag, got out of that diaper, and let the bagged diaper sit in the corner of my room. I was done for the night… I wasn’t going anywhere… not even to throw that diaper away. I was going to get to that in the morning.
“Chapter Twenty-Three, A New Day”
I woke up the next morning quite refreshed, and managed to toss the diaper in the trash (I was never so happy to throw a diaper away). Saturday, the day after the night of the party, started off pretty good. I worked on my story, all the way up to completion, at last, and had spent a good bit of the morning talking with Luke. It was too early to hang out with friends… but, it was around noon that things started getting going with them.
“There! I’m done!” I happily typed to Luke.
“Nice dude! I can’t wait to read it” I said.
I smirked, and shrugged. I doubted anyone was going to like it… I mean, sure, I hoped they did – but I wasn’t expecting anything I created to be jaw-dropping.
“Yeah, I’m uploading it up to TWLD right now” I said.
TWLD was of course the forum I spent a good deal of time on, and was wear I read most of the stories I had read about diapers.
A couple clicks, and a copy-and-paste later – my story was posted on the forum. I sat back, smirking. At last! I was done!
I spent the next few minutes checking for replies or comments about my story – even though I knew no one would just yet. The only reason I stopped though, was because out of nowhere my phone began ringing. It kind of made me jump, from the surprise.
“Hello?” I asked.
“W’suuuuup brahhhh!” I heard.
I didn’t know the voice.
“Who is this?” I asked.
“It’s Oscar man!” I heard.
“Ohhh! What’s up Oscar?” I asked.
I heard him laugh.
“Hey yo’, I’m going to your boy Brian’s house. You want to come with? I can ride you there” he said.
I thought for a moment.
“Sure man, you sure? I might be out of the way” I said.
“Nah dude, I’m coming from Nichole’s house. I heard you live around here. Where you at son?” he asked.
His slang was, for the most part, mostly sarcastic.
“
“Oh, really? Yeah dude, I can be there in like 2 minutes. Me and Emily are rolling out like now… we can be there real quick. You ready?” he asked.
“Ahhhh… let me get dressed real quick. I’ll be good by the time you’re here” I assured.
“Alright man, cool. I’ll call you when I’m outside” Oscar said to me.
I nodded, despite there being no one in the room.
“Cool, thanks man” I said.
The two of us hung up, and I quickly got dressed. Closing all the windows on my computer, I said bye to Luke, and sat down by my front door patiently. I did explain where I was going, and in a few minutes, Oscar was sitting outside my house.
---
The weather outside was drastically different from the last few days. Instead of rain, or overcast – which it had been for the majority of the month so far – it was beautiful outside. The sun was gleaming bright, and there was not a single cloud in the sky.
And for once, it seemed to be a bit warm. The last several weeks I had to wear my jacket – but today was a pleasant surprise.
The weather seemed to match my mood, today.
I made my way down my pathway, leading to the sidewalk. Oscar’s car was sitting right in front of my house – my path was leading right up to the backseat of his car, which was nice and convenient.
Remembering the comments about last night – the jokes about his car – I started chuckling to myself a bit.
I opened the door, and climbed into the backseat, and slammed the heavy door shut.
“Sup
Oscar was up front, and to his right, was Emily.
“Hi
“Dude this is cool” I said, shuffling about in my seat as I got settled in.
“What is that, man?” he asked, as he pulled out, and started driving down my street and towards Brian’s house.
“I’ve never been in a friend’s car before. I’m like… so used to just my mom driving or something” I said, smiling a bit.
“Yeah? Feels badass, huh?” he said, laughing.
“Hell yeah man” I said.
“I think so too. Hey! You need to like… direct me to this kid’s house because I’m going to be honest, I have no idea where he’s at. He gave me his address but that doesn’t really help” he said.
“Sure thing man, turn right here” I said.
As we drove, we were all in pretty good spirits. Emily was a tad quiet, but Oscar and I were alright. We were blasting music – rap, which wasn’t my thing – but it was obviously Oscar’s. I didn’t mind it.
“So how old are you,
“14. Almost 15” I replied.
“Nice. I’m only a year older than you then. I’m 16” he replied.
“So how about that party man?” Oscar said.
“That was pretty crazy stuff” I replied.
“Duuuuude yeah it was! I got SO drunk last night!” Oscar said, laughing.
I just kind of smiled. I had nothing really to say about that.
“What about you little man?” Oscar asked me.
“Nope. I don’t drink” I replied.
“Ohhh okay. That’s cool” he said.
There was a slight delay while he turned down a street…
“Yeahhh bro – you missed out on some crazy stuff after you left. The cops ended up showing up around like midnight, hahaha” Oscar said, laughing.
I chuckled a bit… but I could help but think of Seth. I cleared my throat, and shook my head. Who cared about Seth, right?
“What happened with that?” I asked.
Oscar shrugged.
“Well, the party stopped. We had warning though… someone saw the cruisers rolling down the street and got at me. We all bailed out pretty quickly, but I know a few people who got scooped up ‘cause they were all messed up hahaha” I heard him say.
I kind of forced a laugh.
“Well… wait, where were you? You were pretty uhh… trashed yourself. Thought you were staying over Sarah’s last night” I said, laughing.
Oscar didn’t really reply… and I saw him glance at Emily real briefly. Emily, though, kind of looked away when Oscar looked at her, and kind of made a strange face.
“Well… yeah. I was actually… just getting to get to sleep. You know, I can’t really remember! I can’t even remember who called me, actually. I just remember that I was laying in bed a bed upstairs when someone called me and we managed to lay low for a bit” Oscar said.
I just nodded my head. I wasn’t exactly sure why Emily made a strange face when I asked that question… there seemed to be a bit of tension between the two – but only a little. I just ignored it…
“Ohhh!” I said.
“Yeah brah” Oscar replied with a confident tone.
We didn’t talk much after that, mostly because I had to direct Oscar down the narrow streets into Brian’s neighborhood. Eventually, we parked outside of his house, and made our way up to his front door. He obviously was expecting us because his storm door was the only one closed.
I guess the noise of us was enough to get Brian’s attention, though. Before we made it to his porch, I could make out his unmistakable silhouette appear on the other side of the screen.
“What’s up guys?” Brian asked when he greeted us at the door, opening it wide for us.
---
We all had made ourselves at home in Brian’s room. Upstairs, we all piled into cluttered, somewhat messy room that Brian and Daniel shared. Daniel was on the top bunk, as always – and Brian was in his usual spot as well (on the bottom bunk). Oscar, Emily, and I all sat down on the couch.
To be honest, we were just hanging out. For a while, we played video games… and Emily was growing noticeably bored with watching us.
“You alright, babe’?” Oscar asked, looking over at Emily.
Emily shrugged, yawning. Oscar made a bit of a remorseful face, pushing his mouth to once side – before putting his hand on Emily’s thigh. I couldn’t help but notice though… his reluctance… to put his hand on Emily’s thigh. She looked away, seemingly uninterested… but she put her hand on his.
“I’m… fine” she said.
“Just tired” she finished, looking back at him, nodding.
It seemed as if there was something going on between the two… but it seemed small, whatever it was. It was none of my business… I didn’t dare ask.
“Awww… how cute” I heard Brian teasingly say.
Oscar just kind of smirked and nodded.
“That’s right” he said, laughing.
“How long have you two been going out, anyway?” Brian asked, returning to his video game but still talking.
They looked at each other and looked at each other, both thinking.
“About a month” Emily said.
“…yeah! A month!” Oscar said.
I could tell he couldn’t remember the day the two began going out, which I thought was pretty funny. The two giggled about it.
“Oh that’s cool… yeah man… that’s
good. Then there’s
I instantly started laughing.
“Yeah man, that’s me” I replied sarcastically.
Brian smirked, and everyone was suddenly looking at me.
“
I couldn’t help but feel the sudden heat in my cheeks of me blushing.
“N-Nothing!” I instantly replied.
I doubted Sarah would want us all gossiping about she and I were doing – even if nothing happened.
“No way nothing happened!” Brian instantly replied.
“Mhm, you might as well come out with it bro” Oscar replied.
I suddenly felt the attention. I was embarrassed! I hopped up from my seat, and looked around.
“Haha! No, really guys! Nothing! We walked around and talked a lot” I insisted.
“Ahhh… talked, huh?” Oscar replied, laughing.
“Shut up Oscar! Yeah, just talked!” I replied, laughing too.
We all were laughing, having a pretty good time.
“That’s cool man… we’re just messing with you. You two should totally hook up though. She thinks you’re hot man. Jump on it!” Oscar replied.
I nodded.
“Y-Yeah… I’ll probably be calling her tonight” I said.
“Probably? Nah man, you definitely are” Brian said.
“Haha, yeah
I smirked, and sat back down in my seat… and did my best to relax.
---
The rest was pretty straight-forward. We all talked, played videogames, joked around… just had fun. All of us had a pretty good time, and we ended up spending most of the whole day at Brian’s house.
As time went on, the sun began to set, and Oscar seemed to get pretty tired. We all packed back into his car, and he agreed to drive me back to my house. The ride back was pretty easily done, and there was no need for me to tell him directions on how to get back. Without having to explain where to go, the ride seemed to go by pretty quickly because before I knew it, we were parked outside of my house.
“Alright
“I’ll see you in school” he finished.
“Definitely” I replied.
I climbed out, and began to shut my door.
“Hey!” Oscar said.
I stopped the door, suddenly.
“What’s up?” I asked.
He was twisted around to face me.
“I’m serious
“I will!” I replied.
He smiled.
“Alright, I’ll see you later” he said.
After shutting the car door, I watched Oscar and Emily drive away. I kind of stared at the back of Oscar’s car as its bright red taillights glowed in the darkness that was covering my street as the crimson sun set. I smiled… today was such a nice day… and I really was liking this Oscar kid. He was funny, and pretty decent.
Actually… today kind of felt like the days I always enjoyed, at Brian’s house. No fighting… no drama… just some friends hanging out. It wasn’t much to ask, to me… but it just wasn’t possible with Seth’s attitude lately.
I shook my head of the thought of Seth… he… was something else. Our “conversation” flashed in my head as I made my way into my house. He was such an asshole… that was the nicest way I could’ve put it. I didn’t even care about him at this moment. He, to me, just didn’t seem like a factor at all anymore. After our little argument last night, I could care less about him. He made me so angry… I didn’t want to be his friend anymore.
While lost in thought, I had made my way from the sidewalk, all the way into my room. I was feeling really good, and actually, for the first time in a long time, I felt genuinely happy. It was nice! Not that I was generally unhappy, but, today I didn’t have as much to think about, I guess you could say.
Finally home, I sat down and relaxed. My room was pitch black, since my monitor wasn’t on, and the sun was mostly set. Seth wasn’t the only thing from last night on my mind at this point… no, he was actually pretty far in the back. It was only about 7PM, and so the day was still fairly young. I wasn’t ready for sleep or to completely relax just yet. No, instead of going on my computer… I had a phone call to make.
I scooped up the phone, and dialed in Sarah’s number. Despite our moment in the woods last night, I was feeling fairly nervous. There were a few rings, before finally…
“Aghh… hello?” I heard from a cute, feminine voice.
“H-Hey! Sarah, it’s
“Oh! Heyyy!” I heard back.
There was some rummaging on the phone, as if she was jumping up or something.
“What’s up?” he asked me.
“Ohhh… you know… not a whole lot” I said.
Didn’t know what to say… I thought hard.
“…was… just… you know… thinking about stuff… last night. I’d have called you earlier but I was out all day” I said.
I heard her giggle…
“Yeahhh?” I heard.
“Mhm” I replied.
There was a tad bit of silence, but only for a moment…
“…well… what were you thinking about?” I heard her ask.
A smirk crept across my face.
“You know… things” I replied.
I could feel a buzzing in my cheeks, and in a strange feeling in my chest… and when I heard Sarah giggle again, I felt a smirk creep across my face.
“I was wonderin… if you know… you wanted to do something sometime? Hang out? Kinda… I dunno…” I said.
I closed my eyes, and took a quick, deep breath.
“…go on a date?” I said.
Suddenly I heard her laugh a soft but audible laugh.
“Mmm… that’d be nice
“Y-Yeah! Sure!” I replied.
I was now full-on cheesing.
“Okay
“Bye Sarah” I finished, before hanging up the phone.
“Chapter Twenty-Four, Sarah”
There was a discharge of excitement after I had hung up with Sarah on that phone. A smile never left my face, and it was even hard for me to get to sleep later on.
I had never had a girlfriend before… and I never went on a date. I didn’t think I was a loser, of course – but it just wasn’t anything I had ever gotten involved with. Not only was Sarah interested, but Oscar and Emily even said she is one of the most popular girls! And she seemed so nice, too… there really could’ve been potential in this, I thought.
It was initially hard for me to fall asleep, but I of course eventually did. The sleep that night was quick. Like a blink of an eye, I found myself lying eager in bed to groggy in my bed with sunlight pouring through the windows into my unadjusted eyes.
I didn’t waste much time lying in bed though. Once I saw that it was about11PM… I was just too eager – I had to do SOMETHING.
I got up, ate my breakfast… talked with my mom for a short while. That carried me over until about 12. I didn’t want to seem desperate… so I wanted to wait a bit longer until I called her. Of course, I decided to take a shower.
While I was in the shower, I couldn’t help but begin to feel the nervousness come into play. What was I going to wear? What was I going to say? As a matter of fact… what were we even going to do?
A million questions went through my mind, and I felt myself getting pretty tense from it. I just tried to shake it off…
---
“Hello?” I heard.
It wasn’t Sarah.
“H-Hi! Is Sarah there?” I asked.
“Uhh… yeahhh… hold up. SARAH!” I heard.
I assumed it was Nichole – her sister.
“What?” I could hear. It was quiet, and was Sarah responding back to Nichole.
“YO GET ON THIS PHONE SOMEBODY’S CALLING FOR YOU!” I heard.
There was a moment of silence, before suddenly…
“Hello?” I heard. This time, it WAS Sarah.
“Hey!” I said.
“Hey
“What’s up? You still wanna do something today?” I asked.
I heard her exhale. She sounded a bit frustrated – but she didn’t seem mad at me in particular.
“Y-Yeah… Yeah
I smiled.
“Great… yeah cool, do you want go anywhere specific?” I asked.
“Nah… I just want to get out of this house for a minute. I’ve spent too much time in here cleaning up. Let’s just go to the park, how’s that sound?” I heard her ask.
“That sounds cool. Want to just meet up there, then?” I asked.
“Sure! I’ll get dressed… and um… I’ll meet you there” she told me.
We said our goodbyes, and hung up the phone. I was already dressed, so all I needed to do was wait a few minutes and then leave.
I yawned, and put the cordless phone back on the charger, and plopped down in my computer chair.
“Oh yeah!” I thought.
“My story!” I finished.
I hastily turned my computer monitor on, and loaded up my computer browser. I had completely forgotten about it!
Suddenly, though – before I could type in the address to the forum I had posted the story on… the phone began to ring, which made me jump a bit.
It had to have been Sarah! Who else could it have been? Knowing this, I quickly jumped up for the phone.
“Yeah?” I asked into the phone.
“
This was not Sarah… this was a boy… and it sounded like…
“Brian?” I asked.
“Yeah dude” he said.
“What’s up?” I asked again, smiling.
“I am so mad right now man!” he said.
His voice was pretty deep… he was breathing heavily, and his tone was very sincere. My smile kind of faded from my face.
“What’s up, Brian? What’s going on?” I asked.
“It’s Seth man” he said.
Suddenly, though… my serious attitude toward Brian quickly dissolved.
I sighed…
“…what now?” I asked, rolling my eyes.
“He and Nichole man… they’re going out!” I heard.
My heart fluttered slightly. I personally wasn’t scared but I did fear that this would erupt into another hour long rant about how Seth is terrible. Granted, I wasn’t exactly thrilled with Seth at this moment, either – but I kept my mouth shut about it.
“No, really? Seriously?” I asked.
I tried my best to act surprised. I didn’t want Brian to know that I knew this whole time…
“Yeah man! That asshole! He like… stole my girl! He knew I liked her!” Brian said.
He was acting ridiculous!
“I-I don’t know about that man, I think maybe they just kind of got together. He’s been sitting with her, Sarah, and Oscar and them for a real long time. Since the beginning of the school year, a few weeks ago” I explained.
I heard him sigh…
“Somehow I doubt that” I heard Brian say.
I shook my head. I was trying really hard to be calm and patient here… I was trying to get ready for a date with Sarah! I didn’t want to hear about this now!
That’s right when he began talking all about how Seth is such an asshole… He went on, and on about it. Minutes went by…
“I can’t stand him man! This is the last straw!” he said.
“Brian – I seriously don’t think –“
“I know you don’t! Because you two
are like… all buddy-buddy even though he treats you like crap! This time he
went too damn far
I shook my head.
“Look, Brian… I… I gotta go man. I’m supposed to…”
I almost said “…go on a date” – but I stopped myself.
“…help my mom with some stuff” I lied.
“I’ll call you later tonight, okay? How’s that sound?” I suggested.
There was an awkward silence on the other line. I could tell he wasn’t buying it. I’d even be willing to bet he thought I was going over Seth’s.
“…fine” he said.
“Call me tonight if you’re busy now. I’d appreciate it” he said.
I took a sigh of relief – because this didn’t turn into a fight between he and I.
“Will do… talk to you in a bit” I finished.
We both hung up. I simply shook my head. About 10 minutes had passed since he called… Sarah was very possibly at the park by now, or on her way. It takes less time for her to get there than it would for me, so I had no choice but to abandon my computer and my story for a few hours. I quickly got myself together, and left.
---
The weather this day was very similar to yesterday. The sky was clear and the sun was gleaming. The air was cleaner today than normal, it seemed. And despite it being chilly, the sun’s warmth kept you from needing a jacket. Leaves danced down the street as I made my way to the park.
The world seemed a brighter place this day.
My entire walk to the park though, I was hardly focusing on the weather. I sure acknowledged and appreciated it, but I was far from focusing on it. My mind was busier with thinking of things to say to Sarah – but most of all, I was hoping I wasn’t terribly late. The thought of her already sitting at the park while I was nowhere to be found bothered me quite a bit.
I hastily made my where there, and after a few minutes, I was standing at the foot of the park.
A memory flashed before my mind’s eye as I remembered a certain time that I had spent in this park. This was the smaller park that I had went to after Seth’s house one certain day – not the larger park I spent my 4th of July in.
Wandering in, I looked through the mostly deserted park for any sign of Sarah.
Scanning the horizon with my eyes, all I saw at first was just a mom with two young kids over in the playground. I kept walking forward, though…
…and then I finally saw her.
On the opposite side of the park, I could see her sitting alone on a swing, looking like she was lost in thought. She was kicking her legs back and forth, gently rocking herself in the swing, idly. She looked… very cute, sitting there like that.
I grinned, and walked into her field of view, and waved. At first she didn’t see me, but after a moment, she smirked back at me and started waving too.
“Hi Sarah” I said as I approached her.
I casually sat down on the empty swing beside her.
She smirked back at me.
“Hello
She was looking pretty cute today. A bit more dressed up than when I had seen her, but still very casual.
“What took you so long?” she asked.
I shrugged.
“Eh… sorry” I said, reaching behind my head and scratching it.
She shrugged, carelessly.
There was a brief moment of silence…
“So… did you um… want to stick around here, or go somewhere?” I asked.
She shook her head.
“I dunno’, I figured we’ll stick here for now. It’s nice out and I just want to get out of the house for a bit” she said.
“Ohh… sick of cleaning it?” I asked.
She smiled.
“Yeah, kinda. It’s like untouched still, haha” she said.
I squinted my eyes.
“Well… wait… how long are your parents gone for?” I asked.
“They’ll be back tonight” she said.
There was an awkward silence… I felt as if I was keeping her from doing something she should be doing.
“…I mean… the mess is bad but we did clean up a lot yesterday but… I mean… Nichole can do the rest – most of the friends there were hers anyway” Sarah explained.
I nodded understandingly. Although it made some sense, I still felt a bit like I was being used as an excuse to avoid responsibility. I ignored myself, though.
---.
Our day was, initially, very calm and relaxed. We did simple things like talk… but I felt us get closer to each other over time.
One minute we were on the swings, talking, and before I realized it, we were holding hands, walking down some random street, discussing more general, more intimate things.
“Mmm…
Several hours had passed by now, since we met in the park – and we were on our way back to her house.
I looked at her and smirked. So far, so good, I felt.
“I’m glad you’re having fun” I remarked.
She chuckled a bit, and stopped. We were outside of her house.
“You should come inside” she said with a soft tone.
I looked down at her, and nodded.
I felt a bit apprehensive, admittedly. This was a good invitation… and I didn’t dare decline. I really liked this girl, but I was kind of nervous. That night in the woods… it was too close a call. And she seemed so aggressive, too. I was hoping this wouldn’t wind up the same way.
…though, I wasn’t wearing a diaper this time, either.
She grabbed my wrist, as if reading my mind – and began walking me up the path, up her porch, and into her home.
I only had a few seconds to look around, as she immediately started leading me up the stairs. What I saw though was a mostly clean living room. The furniture was arranged and things for the most part seemed good, but there were trash bags lying around, and spilled liquid (probably beer) on the coffee table.
“Nichole!” I heard Sarah yell.
“What?” I heard Nichole yell back. She was somewhere off in the house, probably in the kitchen since that light was on.
“I brought
I heard Nichole sigh.
“Girl what the hell is a matter with you!? They’re gonna be home any moment, and I’m here bustin my ass tryin to clean up while you just out havin fun with your little boyfriend there” I heard Nichole say.
She said it ridiculously fast… it almost was hard to even understand her. She said it with a very ghetto-ish tone, too – which was strange… considering we weren’t in the ghetto.
Sarah, though, ignored her sister, and just dragged me up the steps, and into her bedroom, through a dark hallway.
“C’mon, we don’t have much time” she said, giggling.
I hurried up as quickly as I could, almost tripping over something in the darkness… or maybe it was my own feet.
I didn’t see anything in her room, even after she opened the door. The light was off, and rather than just turning it on immediately, she dragged me in, shut the door – THEN turned it on.
Her room was a mess. Granted, mine was somewhat messy… this was just poorly taken care of. Random articles of clothing covered the floor – a mix of clean and dirty laundry and random other girly things. An unmade bed and clustered vanity added a finishing touch.
I personally didn’t really care, but it was less taken care of than I was expecting.
She led me by my arm, over to the bed, and sat down on it.
“Sorry my room is a bit messy” she said.
I laughed.
“No, no…” I said.
“Its fine” I finished, looking at her, wanting to come off as sincere as possible.
She smiled at me.
The both of us were sitting pretty close together. Our knees were almost touching, so it wasn’t really hard for anything to happen. But… nothing did happen. Not yet.
Actually, neither of us even said anything. We both kind of sat there with our hands in our laps, looking off. I personally, wasn’t sure what to do. I didn’t want to try to do anything that Sarah may not be comfortable with.
Yeah, I knew we almost had sex yesterday. But I didn’t want it to get to that point again. I didn’t want to lead Sarah by doing stuff. And maybe the girl was embarrassed about yesterday… I didn’t want to make her feel bad.
I cleared my throat…
“So um… yeah… I had a lot of fun today, too” I said.
“Yeah, me too
“I’m glad” I replied, nodding my head.
More awkward silence followed.
That’s when I heard an exhausted sigh coming from Sarah’s mouth.
“
I turned my head, and looked at her dead in the eye.
“You should like… definitely kiss me” Sarah said, with a coy grin.
Now I knew it’s what she wanted.
I looked at her with a sly grin, and nodded.
“I think I can do that” I replied.
I was a bit nervous. I was new at kissing, and I didn’t really remember exactly what to do… but I was gonna do this. It’s what Sarah wanted… and I suppose it’s what I wanted too. She was cute… and it was so awesome to be liked by someone like her, in my opinion. A popular girl liked ME!
And to me, I was so average. Wow…
I gently bent inwards, toward her, and placed my lips on hers. Keeping my eyes closed, I didn’t really know what else to do. Our faces didn’t leave, and so it was one long, drawn out kiss on the lips.
That was… until Sarah bent even more towards me, pushing me back until I slowly fell back onto the bed. Before I even realized what was happening, she was on top of me, arms to my sides; her knees bent and spread so that her waist was above mine.
As our kiss continued, it grew into more. It ended up into just straight up making out.
I didn’t mind one bit as she got closer, and closer to me. We kissed and kissed. I grabbed her hair, and held her face. I did all the things I could think of. My mind wasn’t on automatic. Making out wasn’t like what everyone had always said it’d be like!
Fire raged through my body, and I could feel it raging through hers… this intimacy was intense, and I was thoroughly enjoying it… but… something didn’t seem quite right.
In the midst of the romance, I felt her hands move down my chest, and land at my thighs. She looked up at me with a grin, as her hands moved toward my zipper.
“W-Wait!” I said.
Surely, only a madman would turn this down. It was an open invitation to anything I wanted… but I was uninterested in that. It was something… something didn’t feel right about this.
She looked at my confused, even tilting her head.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Won’t your parents be home soon?” I asked.
“Mm…
She wanted something… and she wanted it bad.
But I… I didn’t have any interest. I was aroused… but I didn’t want to have sex or have anything like that with Sarah. Not now… not this soon… not this fast.
Her hand continued toward my zipper.
“L-Look… Sarah” I said, pulling myself away.
“Oh my God…” she said, suddenly jerking herself away from me.
My heart sunk in my chest!
“What the hell is wrong,
“N-Nothing!” I replied.
She looked at me slack jawed.
“Bullshit, I’m ugly, is that it!?” Sarah replied, twitching her head to get the hair out of her face.
“Hell no! Look, I-I-I-I don’t know, okay? I like you a lot Sarah… I just think maybe we should try to get to know each other more first, alright?” I replied.
She stared at me, and shrugged. She had a somewhat confused, somewhat understanding face.
My heart was burning in my chest, and I found it hard to believe. Everything around me seemed to get closer… more claustrophobic. My perception was changing… and I felt myself getting more and more scared of what I could’ve just ruined.
But Sarah… she didn’t tell me to leave. Not yet anyway.
“Y-Y-You’re not ugly, Sarah. You’re really… um… hot, okay? But… let’s just slow it down” I said.
She sighed… but smirked afterward.
“You’ve never… Ohhhh!” she said, her eyes lighting up and her mouth getting wide.
Suddenly the room filled with the sound of her laughing – and it was a very genuine cackle, indeed.
“
I was blushing so remarkably hard… a lump in my throat made it hard to breathe. Any atmosphere of romance or intimacy was now officially sucked out… I just wanted to leave.
“L-Look… I’m just gonna go” I said, standing up.
“No! Sit down” Sarah demanded, pushing me back down the bed, in a playful way.
I looked up at her, feeling like I was on the verge of tears from embarrassment. She looked down at me.
“
“I um… Yeah… okay… look, if that’s
all the problem is… then fine… you’ll be fine
She had a disgusting cheesy smile that seriously was putting me almost into tears.
I have never… EVER… felt THIS humiliated in my entire life. It was as if my manhood was just crushed… but it was mostly my fault in the first place.
“Look, if you want to wait… that’s totally cool dude” she said.
“Just give it some time and uhh… we’ll spend some more time together… and that’ll probably ease you UP a bit!” she said, before laughing some more.
“...more time together?” I asked, shrugging.
“Yeah
“W… Well… I mean… yeah, that’d be cool” I said.
She nodded.
“Cool. Yeah I mean… I think we’ll
get along juuuust fine
I looked at her blankly, scratching my head while rising from the side of the bed.
“So… wait… that’s it?” I asked.
Sarah shrugged.
“What’s it?” she asked.
“Just like that, you and I are like…?” I said.
I was scared to mutter the words.
All Sarah did was laugh, though.
“…boyfriend/girlfriend? Yeah
I blushed so red… there was goose bumps going all over me. It felt as if my skin was alive and was slithering around over my bones like a blanket. I couldn’t even begin to describe this humiliating sensation.
We both crept down the steps, and back to her front door.
The feeling of crisp, fresh air hitting my face and the sound of crickets and locusts screaming had never been so appreciated before in my entire life.
Before I left, though, Sarah spun me around and looked at me with a smirk.
“
I smirked shyly, and nodded my head.
“Y-Yeah Sarah… that’d be cool” I replied.
It’s all I COULD say at this point.
She smiled one last big smile, and kissed me on the lips.
“Well then, I’ll talk to you tomorrow then, in school” she said.
I nodded my head.
“S-Sure, yeah. Definitely” I replied.
---
And that’s how it happened. We parted ways, and I walked home.
I can’t even begin to explain the amount of thinking I had done on that walk home. My heart was still throbbing hard in my chest, and my cheeks were still burning. Her words and laugher echoed through my head, and each time I felt myself jerk or flinch. It was torture.
I couldn’t really place all that had just happened… at first I felt terrible about it… but it started to feel a little better by the time I had made it to my house. I wanted to just laugh about it… but somehow I didn’t think I would anytime immediately soon.
I felt… so… not manly… I felt castrated… to be laughed at by a girl like that.
Shrugging it off, and trying to just sigh it all away… I eventually found myself in my room, standing in my doorway, feeling a bit depressed.
It was 10 o’clock by now.
“No point in calling Brian” I thought.
It was too late for that.
I hovered, more or less, over to my bed, and crouched down. Maybe a diaper would make me feel better, tonight? Reaching around though, I found nothing but an empty bag… my stash was bone dry.
Sighing from frustration, I slumped down in my computer chair, and decided to finally check up on the status of my story. I typed in the forum, and within a few moments, found the story thread. There were several new replies!
“Sweet. Let’s see what these people have to say” I said to myself, being modest and sarcastic.
…but… what I found was not exactly what I expecting.
“Generic story line… kinda bad grammar… good attempt but try again” was one.
“This is silly!” was another.
I squinted my eyes, and scrolled down a few more.
“Someone needs spell-check!” was yet another!
Yes, my story was receiving mostly terrible feedback!
“Awful”
“LOL!”
“Interesting, but too short and not enough details”
These kinds of posts were the overwhelming majority of posts. Some weren’t so bad, and yeah, some people liked it – but most didn’t.
“Ay’ it’s an alright little story man, it’s your first go. Write up another and just put some more into it!’ was another.
That one was probably the nicest one that could’ve been posted…
I felt absolutely awful now. Between Sarah and this, I didn’t think the night could get more embarrassing…
My mood shifted around. I felt… genuinely unhappy. My perception was off; my head kinda hurt… my chest felt awkward. I felt kinda empty in general. The more I focused on it the more I felt frustrated.
“Fuck it” I said.
I pounded my hand on my desk in frustration, shaking my head in disbelief. Turning my monitor off, I simply stood up and laid down on my bed.
I was in no mood for anything right now… I just wanted to get some sleep.
As I closed my eyes, I could see Sarah laughing in my face. I gritted my teeth. I know that things worked out… but they didn’t work out the way I wanted them too. Sarah knew all about how inexperienced I am now with girls in general. I thought I was doing an alright job but I guess I was really that transparent. Even though she said she thought it was cute… well… that’s nice, but it was embarrassing to me – the way it all played out.
I did my best to ignore it, keeping my eyes shut and just relaxing.
RING! RING!
Suddenly, I jumped! The phone started ringing, shattering the silence, and it startled me.
“Who the hell is calling me?” I asked.
It was like 10:30PM now!
I got up from my bed, and picked up the phone.
“…hello?” I asked.
“
It was Brian.
“What’s up bro?” I asked with a bit of a tired voice.
I didn’t really feel like talking right now…
“Dude. I’m so sick of Seth. I just called him and talked to him… I am… SO seriously doing something to him tomorrow” he said.
“…what!?” I replied
“You’re still on about that?” I asked.
“N-No! I just thought of it. It popped in my head” Brian replied.
Somehow I doubted that Brian wasn’t letting the whole Nichole/Seth thing get to him.
“Well… dude, leave him alone” I said.
“No man, he needs it this time. He
has this coming. This is for everything he’s ever said to me, and how he’s been
acting to me. I just got done talking to him on the phone, trying to be cool
and he… UGH… I can’t stand this,
“…look, Brian… man… I know he’s an ass – he was an asshole to me yesterday at the party and I’m not even his friend anymore, I’m sick of him too” I began to say.
“So you’re in?” Brian replied.
“What? I never said that” I instantly replied.
“
“…our whole time as friends? What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, actually looking at the phone for some reason, as if it was going to answer my question.
“It means either you’re with Seth,
or you’re with me. There’s no more middle man here
“W-What?! THAT’S what this is about?!” I yelled into the phone.
What the hell was Brian’s problem!? Was he seriously mad because I didn’t tell him about Nichole and Seth last night on the deck!?
“No man, I’m willing to forget that. I need you to prove to me that you’re still my friend. You’re sitting over with Seth, and you’re keeping secrets with him. GOD Aden, I don’t want to think of you as a backstabber or a liar. So PLEASE prove me wrong and do me this one favor so I can know how much of an idiot I am being!” Brian yelled into the phone.
Holding the phone to my ear… I just stared off into space, in sheer disbelief as I tried to absorb every word Brian was spewing into my ear.
I could see it from Brian’s perspective… which was severally biased and narrow-minded – the way Seth and I had been buddies. But I still spent plenty of time with Brian and Daniel, too.
I sighed… Knowing Brian, this would be a silly little prank, anyway.
“…what are we talking about here, Brian? What do you want to do?” I asked.
“I’ll only tell you if you promise me you will do it with me” Brian teased, being overly cautious.
“Well that DEPENDS on what it is!” I replied.
“Wow
“What!?” I replied.
Suddenly, though – I heard the phone hang up.
“Brian? Brian!” I yelled into the phone.
I was hoping he hadn’t actually hung up, but after a few seconds, I heard the dial-tone start back up again. I turned the phone off, and tossed it on the bed.
I sighed, and shrugged it off.
“He’ll come around” I thought.
I simply laid there on my bed, face first… hoping so much for some peace and quiet so I could get some sleep for school in the morning.
…but… that wasn’t the case.
As I continued to lay there, I couldn’t help but get a gut feeling that maybe Brian was going to do something really stupid. He sounded desperate… and really crazy, too. The more I thought about it, I realized Seth did have something coming to him – and Brian wasn’t going to do anything too bad or stupid, right?
I opened my eyes, and rubbed my face, sighing a frustrated, annoyed sigh – before picking the phone back up.
“Hello?” I heard.
It was Brian.
“…look… I’ll help you out… but only if you tell me at first that it’s nothing bad” I said.
There was silence, and I heard him sigh.
“It’s not that bad. It’s just silly stuff – but I’m getting him good” Brian warned.
I shut my eyes, and shook my head. What the hell was Brian going to get himself into with this?
“…go on” I urged,
There was more silence.
“Well, are you in, or not?” Brian asked.
“Yeah, sure – whatever” I said, gritting my teeth.
This suspense was killing me.
“Now, I’m warning you – there’s no backing out of this!” Brian said.
He was builing this up, being overly dramatic. It was REALLY annoying!
“BRIAN! Just tell me, I’m in – WHATEVER. Don’t care!” I replied.
It couldn’t have been that bad right? It was just Brian – and he had a pretty good head on his shoulders for the most part. But… what he would tell me next… would change everything – a vindictive plan that changed Brian’s bravery to stupidity and… cruelty.
“Well,
I waited in suspense as Brian cleared his throat. Maybe he was positioning the phone, or doing something of that sort.
“…do you remember those pictures?”
“Chapter Twenty-Five, The Day That Changed Everything (Part
I: Collateral Damage)”
“…what pictures?” I asked.
My heart sunk in my chest. Surely, he couldn’t have meant… the pictures from the 4th of July, a few months ago. No way – Brian wouldn’t be that mad, or stupid, right?
“Those pictures from when we slept in the club house, from the 4th” Brian began.
Oh yeah, he definitely meant those pictures.
“Brian, what about them?” I asked.
“I have a few of Seth from that night. I want to take one and hang it up or something,” Brian said, before laughing.
“How funny would that be?” Brian said.
My eyes were wide with shock.
“Brian” I replied.
“You can’t do that – that is so not cool dude” I said with the utmost sincerity.
“Chill
“Chill? CHILL?” I said.
“Yeah, chill! I’m going to cut off his face – it’s just gonna scare Seth a bit, that’s all” Brian said, as if that was supposed to calm me down or make me agree with his plan.
“…BRIAN” I yelled into the phone.
“What!?” Brian replied.
“YOU… CAN’T do that!” I yelled into the phone.
My veins were filled with fire, and I had goose bumps. Brian could NOT REALLY be serious about this!
“Yeah I can man! And I’m going to, okay? And you said –“
“I don’t care what I said! This is above and beyond funny or cool – Brian, you could seriously ruin Seth with this” I said.
I was panicking, and I couldn’t help it.
“…relax,
I shook my head, and began rubbing my face. My skin was tight and I was finding it harder and harder to breathe.
“…Brian, a lot of those pictures have pictures of ME, too! Okay? DON’T do it” I pleaded.
“Oh my God Aden, how many times do I need to tell you –“
“Just… shut up, Brian!” I replied.
“I’m hanging up now. I am not helping you do this” I finished…
That was it – I was not having a part in this. As a matter of fact, I was going to immediately warn Seth of this.
Seth was not exactly a friend of mine anymore. But he did nothing to deserve such a low move – NOTHING. This was something I had to stop.
“
I hung the phone up, and threw it onto my bed. A few seconds passed, and then the phone began to ring – but I refused to answer it.
A few more minutes passed… and I just stood there, in the middle of my dimly lit room… and felt everything build up inside me. I felt anger and frustration just peak inside of me… and I couldn’t hold it in anymore.
“NnnnnnnAARRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH! WHAT THE HELLLL!?” I suddenly SCREAMED at the top of my lungs!
Next thing I realized, I walked up to the wall, and punched it as HARD as I could! I felt nothing, and fortunately for me, the wall didn’t break.
After a moment or two longer of rage, I grabbed my hair and just held my head.
This was all too much… all at once, to handle. Brian’s little charade and his stupidity… how could he sink this low?
I could not and would not let Brian humiliate Seth like this… it was something I couldn’t live with. For a moment, I thought about immediately calling Seth on the phone and warning him… but it was pretty late. I didn’t want to keep him up all night as angry as I was.
No, I would warn him tomorrow on the bus.
Maybe I could tell a teacher or warn someone, and hope they’d intervene and stop Brian? That seemed too elementary.
This was a dire situation indeed, and I needed to think of a plan.
---
I was desperate and tireless for a long while after that. I spent a while pacing back and forth in my room alone… just thinking about any way I could peacefully intervene, without causing an episode.
Brian really got under my skin with this. My hands were shaky, my skin felt tight, and my vision was bright and awkward. Everything seemed incredibly crisp and vivid. My heart was throbbing hard and fast…
It was hard to concentrate under these conditions… almost impossible, and I couldn’t take it anymore.
Fatigue from being up so long and fear were making my mind run wild and think stupid thoughts. I had no other option but to lay down and get some sleep – and that’s exactly what I did.
At first, it was difficult to get sleep. My mind was racing so much that I found myself tossing and turning for a little while before my fatigue inevitably put me out.
The next morning, though… there was no wasting time on my part. In the blink of an eye, I found myself being greeted by dim morning sunlight and my mom knocking on the door to wake me. I immediately jumped out of bed, and ran downstairs to breakfast.
I sat at the kitchen table, speechless, lost in thought as I quickly ate my food. My mind was somewhere else, and my mom took notice.
“
“You look like you got no sleep” she finished, chuckling a bit.
I smirked a bit, though it was kind of forced.
“I’m… fine. Just… got a lot of stuff to do in school today” I part-lied.
She nodded. I watched as she peaked out the window, and look through the blinds. It was real dark blue outside – a strange off-shade of navy or cerulean.
“Oof… it’s horrible outside” she said, leaving the kitchen.
Only a few moments later, I heard the TV turn on and the morning news blasting so that we both could hear it from the living room.
“It’s rain, rain, rain – all day long today folks!” I heard the weatherman say.
“We’re going to see rain probably for the next few days, possible thunderstorms” he continued.
I just ate my cereal… I didn’t really care for the weather. I overheard more numbers, about how the temperature was going to decline and get chillier and chillier throughout the week.
“Thank you Julie – Now back to local coverage, it has been almost six months since the tragic and mysterious disappearance of two local boys. Thirteen year old Jared –“
Suddenly the sound died.
“Well, guess it’s gonna be raining for a while. All week” I heard her say.
I just shrugged, and finished my food…
---
The sunny, cheerful, warm weekend had passed, and this morning was bitter cold, gloomy, and rainy. It seemed almost cliché, how such a dire situation was accompanied with such ugly weather.
Wind was gusting, hitting my face like an ice cold smack in the face, and rain was pouring down onto me which only added insult to injury. The rain, though, was at least not a downpour – just a moderate nuisance. Everything was covered in a navy blue tint, and the sky looked more like a gray ceiling. It was all very claustrophobic.
Despite all of the terrible weather, I was unfazed. To most, this weather would probably be the highlight of their morning – the one big thing that they had to worry about. To me though… it simply added to the electrifying tension I had built up in me. I was filled with anxiety and determination, and I walked to my bus stop like I was on a mission.
And I suppose you could say I was. I was on a mission for someone I kind of hated, against a close friend. It was odd – but Brian simply was going too far, and Seth was oblivious to it.
The problem here was that I actually COULD see believe Brian would actually do something this stupid… that’s what kind of scared me the most. Not to mention that I was in some of those pictures, and I sure as hell didn’t want them being distributed around like propaganda.
I simply gritted my teeth, and hurried my way to the bus stop… where I found him, and all of the other, mostly younger, kids at the bus stop.
“Seth!” I kind of yelled because of the noise from the rain and passing cars.
Seth looked over at me, with a confused and even somewhat defensive expression, and he didn’t say anything.
“Seth, I have something I need to tell you” I finished.
I felt kind of short of breath. None of the other kids at the stop paid any attention to me, as I tried to get Seth to listen.
“…about what?” Seth asked.
“Brian –” I started.
“Save it” he finished, cutting me off. He sighed, looked away, and twisted his hat to the side a bit, as if gaining his composure.
Suddenly, the unmistakable sound of the bus’s diesel engine came rumbling up beside us, and Seth immediately got on. I quickly followed, even cutting off one or two other kids to get closer to Seth.
He hastily walked ahead of me, obviously trying to get away from me.
“SETH!” I yelled, over the loud sound of other kids talking.
He ignored me.
Shifted past kids and through the narrow aisle, Seth suddenly sat down next to some random kid – the first available seat.
“Hey! This isn’t your seat!” the kid, a young looking middle schooler, yelled.
“Do something about it!” Seth boldly replied.
The kid looked at him, and just looked out the window, away from him – obviously freaked out by Seth’s challenge.
I didn’t care that he didn’t sit with me, so I simply stood next to Seth, consequently blocking off everyone behind me trying to get to the back of the bus.
“Seth, listen to me!” I desperately said.
He looked up at me with an extraordinarily annoyed expression, though he said nothing.
“Get the hell out of the way man!” I heard, and suddenly I was pushed hard.
I stumbled forward, away from Seth. I managed to catch myself and not fall on my face, though I had to fall into a random seat to keep my composure. It wasn’t too far from Seth, but I was sitting in a seat I normally didn’t. Looking over, I saw some random kid that I didn’t know.
“Idiot” I heard from some random jock-sounding kid.
“I know right?” I replied, trying my best to laugh off that I was just shoved onto my ass.
I sighed, and look over.
“Yo man… can’t sit here” I heard the kid next to me say.
I looked around – my heart was racing. I needed to tell Seth as soon as possible, and I didn’t have any of his classes (and I didn’t know where any of his were). This was my one big chance to warn him! This seat I was in was close enough to talk to Seth, even if he didn’t want to hear me.
I thought fast… and I did my best to imitate Seth. After all… this kid next to me wasn’t exactly big, either!
“Do somethin’ about it!” I yelled at the kid.
It was… really weird. I did my best to be intimidating. My voice was kind of whiny… and my face probably looked pretty silly. I wasn’t the most thuggish person in the world.
…but it didn’t exactly work.
The kid looked at me, started laughing, and then shoved my hard out of the seat by my face. I was a ragdoll today, it seemed.
I couldn’t give up, though. I was stuck sitting in the back of the bus by now, unfortunately. I was far from Seth and couldn’t get his attention anymore. I didn’t dare try to start an episode or get up from my seat once the bus started moving. The last thing I wanted to do was annoy every person on the bus more than I already had.
---
It was the longest bus ride to school of my life. I did my best to contain myself… and I was doing an alright job doing so. I didn’t actually need Seth to help me… but he should know about this. He’d be able to do something about it better than just I would.
There was also a part of me that wanted Seth to know how nice I was being. It was maybe a bit selfish… but I feel I deserved some credit.
Inevitably, the bus came to its destination, and every last one of us ran out of the bus and into the school – mostly to avoid getting wet from the pouring rain. I, however, was running to catch up with Seth before he disappeared.
“Seth! Wait, I NEED to tell you something! It’s important!” I yelled.
At first he was hard to spot in the dense crowd of students entering the school – but his hat, backpack, and most obvious, his now hasty walk, was impossible to miss.
“SETH!” I yelled again. I was yelling as loud as I could.
Of course, with all of the kids around me being loud, it wasn’t out of place. I simply sounded like an excited friend, not a desperate one. That same roar of kids’ voices, young and older, was drowning out my calls. More likely though, I was positive Seth was simply ignoring me.
I didn’t need to waste my breath anymore, and so – I charged up behind him as he turned down one of the halls. I bumped into one or two kids, who mostly ignored me or told me to settle down. I couldn’t settle down though, my heart was racing way too fast… way too intense.
The second I got within arm’s reach of Seth’s backpack, I grabbed hold of it, and held Seth back.
“Seth!” I yelled, tugging him back.
It was at that very moment, in an instant – the unexpected happened. Seth, quickly spun himself around – and grabbed my shirt, and slammed my back hard against a locker.
“
“LEAVE ME ALONE. YOU ARE ANNOYING!” he screamed at me.
“I DO NOT LIKE YOU. GO THE HELL AWAY” he finished.
Holding onto my shoulders, he pulled me an inch or two away from the lockers, only to slam me back onto them. I personally was way too shocked to react – I couldn’t move because this happened too fast.
“S-Seth, get off me!” I yelled.
“No
I stared at him, in shock as he kept me pinned against the lockers with both of his hands against my shoulders.
“Leave me alone! You are SO GOD DAMN annoying to me lately, I can’t even explain it! I’ve been hiding it for too long, I can’t handle it anymore! Stop talking to me, I don’t want to be your friend anymore! Okay?! I don’t want to hear about YOU or BRIAN or DANIEL, okay? Go have your little sleepovers, and do whatever gay shit you want, just KEEP MY NAME OUT YOUR MOUTH” Seth yelled at me.
I stared at him blankly, as all the words registered in my head.
“…w-what?” I replied.
He looked at me dead in the eye, and sighed.
“Look
We looked at each other, eye-to-eye, and there was a moment here as he pressed me against the lockers that I finally felt some emotion.
“But… why, Seth? What did I ever do to you?” I asked.
He shook his head, and it looked like he was thinking for a moment.
“I… just… don’t think it’s a good idea” he said.
There wasn’t any anger in his voice anymore… which meant he was saying it sincerely. It was as if the truth was finally coming out. I stared at him, and gritted my teeth, chuckling once out of disbelief.
…but as fast as it happened, that was as fast as it ended, too. Before I knew what happened, he was already walking away from me – and one or two jocks were giggling at me as I had obviously just gotten manhandled.
Time slowed down at that point, from the aftershock. As older high schoolers simply giggled at me and walked past, I felt myself dazed and like I was blushing… Seth might as well as punched me in the face with the amount of rage he showed. And sure, I knew I was annoying Seth… but to hear it actually being said was quite a thing to hear.
I was now wondering if this was about the fact that I mentioned Brian, or not. Maybe Seth just really didn’t like me anymore. This was exactly the behavior he had shown Brian, and now me… and it did kind of hurt.
Slack-jawed, I looked over at Seth’s back. I felt anger and hurt boil inside me for a moment.
I took a breath in – just one angry breath.
“You remember that party, Seth? On the 4th of July?” I started. I yelled it as loud as I could, but with a calm yet disturbed tone.
I tried my best to be as obvious to him, but not blatant to everyone else – by speaking cryptically. Of course the 4th of July wasn’t a party.
I saw him stop in his tracks.
“If you lost those pictures I hear Brian can help you out. He was thinking about bringing them in today” I yelled.
Of course Seth didn’t call me. It happened by coincidence – but I had to sound like it was some drinking party or something so all of the other students would just keep walking. Sure, I could yell out about diapers, and exactly what Seth did that night. But I chose not to… at least… I was trying hard not to.
Seth spun around immediately, and faced me. He had a strange, confused, and mostly shocked face… one of sheer disbelief.
“What are you talking about?” he asked.
I shrugged.
“I don’t know man. I gotta go though… I don’t want to get too annoying” I finished.
There was a ball of rage inside me… it was so hot, it felt as if I was going to burst into flames right there in that hallway. I looked Seth dead in the eye at that moment, and he looked back at me with a very sincere and confused face.
“No,
Now magically Seth wasn’t so annoyed by my mere presence, but after the way he was acting toward me… I didn’t give a damn.
“Well, Seth… I WAS trying to just let you know about that. Figured you’d like to know. I don’t want to be annoying to you anymore… so… Seth, you can just go to hell for all I care” I said, beginning to turn away.
“
Suddenly, it was he who sounded a tad bit scared and desperate, and it was I who was doing the ignoring. How the tables have turned.
I felt him grab my shoulder, and try to spin me to face him.
“Get the hell away from me!” I said to him under my breath, gritting my teeth.
Unlike Seth though, I had self-restraint and didn’t need to push or shove him to prove my sincerity.
“What are you saying, though?
“SETH! Quit chatting with your friend and get in here now, or I’m marking you late!” we both heard a teacher yell – but neither of us acknowledged them.
We just stared at each other.
“Don’t talk to me anymore” I said, looking at him dead in the eye.
Seth didn’t respond.
I walked away from him after that, and proceeded down the hall. The world seemed to move a bit slower as the hurt settled in, and as the emotion took its toll. Seth called my name a few times, but he didn’t follow – he couldn’t, not with the teacher calling his name from down the hall.
I simply roamed down the hall, away from him, and began venturing towards my next class. Seth and I were finished, forever.
To some, Seth’s comments may have seemed acceptable, or not even all that hurtful. But the fact of the matter is, I personally got sick and tired of the way he was treating everyone. I never did anything to Seth – I only tried being his friend. Whatever his problem was… I didn’t care. I didn’t need to know anymore… not with this.
Seth’s well-being, now, was no longer my concern. My concern now was my own.
Brian, wherever he was in this giant school, had who-knows how many pictures that possibly had me in them too. I could possibly be collateral damage in Brian’s little prank here, and I was not willing to let that happen.
I walked down the hallway, in the opposite direction of Seth, in what felt like slow motion. Everything seemed to look different… the colors were a bit brighter, maybe. The shimmering, empty hallway was almost painful to look down.
Emotionally, I felt different; distant. As I took those steps down the hallway, which stretched so, so far… I felt all of my emotions build inside of me. My anger from Seth humiliating me, and just the way he was now in general… sadness, from him confirming that he really didn’t want to be my friend anymore at all. My feelings were hurt, and every step I took toward my classroom, I felt something inside of me sinking, somehow.
I swallowed hard… my fingers felt buzzy. It felt all completely natural, though… completely normal for my feelings being hurt. I needed a moment to think, though.
I approached my classroom, and stared in the window. The kids were already sitting in their desks, and I was a few minutes late. I thought long and hard about the decision I was about to make. Would it be a good idea to go in? I shook my head… No, this was too important.
I took in a deep breath, and walked away from the door – away from the class.
What was I going to do about Brian? I didn’t know where the kid was, or what he was planning, exactly. I just knew one thing: I had to find Brian now, and it was up to me.
I could care less about Seth anymore – I was doing this for myself, now.
“Chapter Twenty-Five, The Day That Changed Everything (Part
II: Panic Attack)”
My heart was racing as I skipped my first class, ever.
At first, I didn’t really know what to do. Nervous, I checked over my shoulder often. I tried my best to seem inconspicuous, but somehow I figured I was doing a bad job. I did just act natural, the best I could anyway.
I didn’t even know what I was really going to do. How could I find Brian in this massive high school? That was a question I couldn’t really answer. I suppose the only thing I could do was peak into class rooms, and hope to see Brian. Then, whenever the period ended, I could confront him and tell him how stupid of an idea this was.
That was all I could do now… the adrenaline was gushing in my veins so hard – it made me think strange things. It was like I was acting on impulse, and not by logic. Panicked thoughts were bouncing around in my head, and each action had little reason behind them.
Sure, I could go to a teacher… but I didn’t want to be a snitch. I wanted to take care of this on my own… though, going to an administrator was definitely last on my list.
The thing with telling any kind of teacher or administrator was that if I told them, then Brian’s parents would probably get called. Of course the pictures of us in diapers would be given to his parents, and once they saw that, who knows what would happen? This I absolutely did not want.
For the next several minutes I found myself bouncing from door to door – looking in through the window on each and quickly scanning the faces of students, careful not to get seen by a teacher.
But it wasn’t working.
Each class I looked in, Brian or Daniel was nowhere to be found, and with each disappointment, I began to move faster, and sloppier.
I wandered the massive school for what felt like forever. A few floors, and countless classrooms – he could’ve been anywhere.
---
It felt like forever that I was wandering the school’s halls. It was a giant gleaming linoleum-floored maze. However, even though Brian was nowhere to be found as I peaked in random classroom windows, I must admit, it did help me learn my way around the school. I guess that was the optimistic thing to think.
I wasn’t alone in the hallways, either. Every once in a while I’d see a kid walking, either late to class, skipping class like me, or going to the bathroom – I couldn’t tell. Occasionally there’d be a teacher or someone who looked important, who stared at me suspiciously, but didn’t question me.
Maybe I was doing a good job carrying myself.
I had it all figured out, really. I’d just say I was going to the bathroom – problem solved. Or maybe that I was going to my locker to get a book I so stupidly forgot to bring to class. I could even say I was going to the nurse. Or, if I wanted to be honest, I could say I was looking for help – which was kind of true.
I grew exhausted though. As I climbed up one of the flights of stairs, I found myself short of breath, and becoming less and less motivated for this manhunt. I weakly opened the doors out of the stairs, and found myself at the end of yet another brightly lit hallway.
I shook my head… my drive was low… I was giving up my search, as I realized how silly this was… and how I probably had just gotten myself into more trouble now that I had skipped class for nothing.
I was at the very end of the hall, and next to me on the wall was a huge window overlooking a large-sized football field off in the distance. Of course, there was no one playing football today – not with the rain that was now pouring buckets over everything.
The rain had increased over time, I noted. Rather than it getting brighter like it normally would, from the sun rising, it actually seemed like it got a bit darker and bleaker outside thanks to the dense rain clouds overhead.
I sighed… this was hopeless.
Here I was, tired and out of breath from power walking through the entire school, up and down flights of stairs, searching aimlessly… now stuck to realize I just wasted time and have no possible way of finding Brian. To catch my breath, I just sat at that window and watched the rain fall.
The rain was actually quite relaxing… almost too relaxing – because the next thing I knew…
“Um, excuse me” I heard.
My heart sunk in my chest, and I spun around.
“Y-Yes?” I asked.
Now standing only a few feet away from me was a tall, older, authoritative woman. Brown hair, glasses, and dark dress clothes, holding a bag filled with documents. And, most importantly, an ID tag clipped to her blouse that read:
“Mrs. Nuberick:
As I read the “Assistant Director” part in her badge, my mouth DROPPED.
“Ohhhhh shiiiiii-!” I began to think.
“What are you doing here?” she asked me.
She had a confused expression, as if she was unsure if she should be concerned or not. Granted, it’s a legitimate question. Why exactly would a student be standing alone at the end of a hallway, staring off into space?
“I um…” I began to say.
My brain was suddenly frazzled. It was as if my whole head short circuited and stopped working – I had nothing to say as an excuse. I tried to spit some stuff out…
“I was going to the bathroom” I explained.
Her eyebrows got closer, suspiciously.
“Going to the bathroom?” she said.
It was a losing battle, and I knew it. But I continued on… who knows, maybe there’d be a chance I could sneak out of this!
“Y-Yeah!” I responded.
She shook her head.
“Looked like you were staring out the window, to me…” she responded.
I shrugged.
“I um… I took a break! J-Just for a second” I responded.
She shook her head some more, and stared at me with incriminating eyes.
“We don’t take breaks, you need to be in a class room, or if you’re going to the bathroom, straight to your bathroom. Do you have a pass?” she asked.
I was stumped. I must’ve looked like a deer in the headlights, because…
“…I’m guessing you don’t, from that expression. Come with me, please. What’s your name?” she asked.
She suddenly got real close, and gently grabbed my arm.
“B-But my teacher didn’t give me one!” I responded.
I didn’t dare resist, so we proceeded to walk down the stairs.
“Is that so? And just who is your teacher? What’s the room number?” she asked, as she guided me down the stairs.
I was panicking… oh man… I was for sure going to be in a world of trouble for this…
“I um… I don’t remember her name, I’m new here!” I replied – which was pretty truthful.
“Okay then, well, we’ll get to the bottom of this when we get back to my office young man. Give me your student ID” she replied.
As we descended the stairs… I didn’t even respond. I had absolutely nothing for this one… I was caught red-handed. She wasn’t stupid, she was, of ALL PEOPLE, the assistant director of the school. She knew the game.
So, I sighed, and reluctantly dug in my pocket, and handed her my student ID card (all it had was our name and ID number, probably for looking up schedule information). Glancing over it, she nodded.
“Okay…
As I went farther and farther down the stairs, my chest started burning more and more intensely… my eyes even felt dry… I felt like I was going to cry!
Maybe if I just told the truth, it’d help a little.
“L-Look” I said, stopping.
She consequently stopped, too.
“What?” she asked.
“I um… I wasn’t really going to the bathroom” I confessed.
The smiled…
“I know” she responded, before grabbing my arm again.
“B-But, I was looking for someone. I think maybe you should know about this” I said, in a low, sincere tone.
---
That’s right.
I explained to her everything, once we had gotten back to her office. I didn’t dare mention anything about diapers though – just that I heard that Brian had some nasty stuff that he was going to use to try to embarrass another student. She questioned the extremity of this blackmail material that I suspected Brian to have – but I assured her it was very serious.
I was nervous because now everything was about to happen. As I sat there, Brian was being called out of class, and I was voluntarily awaiting him in the assistant director’s office. I only assumed she was going to search his backpack (I explained the blackmail material was probably a printed photo – maybe even something edited on the computer). When Brian came strolling into that office door that was only inches from me, I knew he’d be mad.
But I didn’t really care… no, not after this. Brian had gone too far… he had put me through too much this day. This little “prank”, if he wanted to call it that, just very well got me in trouble for skipping class. Not to mention it made me go insane with anxiety.
In her office, we discussed it all, and she eventually instructed me to go back to class. Before I went though, I of course got a decent scolding about the seriousness of skipping class… but I was told my punishment for that would be simple detention unless caught doing it again.
I made it back to my second period class on time (it had become second period right as I was walking out of her office) – and it was in my classes where I spent the rest of the day.
For a while, it was kind of relieving, to be honest. I could sit down at my desk and know that I no longer needed to worry about it at all. I could just let Mrs. Nuberick take care of this situation, right? It was no longer my problem.
But then I thought of something scary… something that actually made me very unnerved. What if she did actually find pictures of us in diapers, on Brian? What would she do with those pictures? What would Brian’s punishment be?
There suddenly was fire in my veins, again. This could be big – when the assistant director found pictures of us in diapers… it was going to blow up. Surely, Brian’s parents would be involved for what Brian was trying to do. Brian’s parents were good people, but they didn’t play around with breaking rules (I could remember that from when we all got grounded for almost a month, for sneaking out that one night, on the 4th of July).
His parents would probably call my mom… and… Seth’s, too!
Oh man… this could be bad… what did I just do!?
Over the course of several hours, from class to class, I was lost in a train of thought. My mind was filled with a lot of scary thoughts, after that realization. This could be bad… but I told myself that nothing major was going to happen. Brian deserved to get in trouble for this mess.
Still, I found myself getting more and more nervous.
Sitting in Math class, I felt like a wreck. I was unusually withdrawn… but no one seemed to notice. The teacher rambled on about numbers, theories, and symbols – while I was busy being hypnotized by the still-falling rain out the window.
I was sitting in the back, which was different… I normally sit up front. Today though… right at this moment, I was busy with thinking about the result of Mrs. Nuberick and Brian.
I probably wouldn’t know… I wasn’t entitled to know the result of the “investigation”, I guess you could call it. Though I knew Brian sure as hell would have something to say about it, next period during lunch. I didn’t care anymore though. He went too far this time.
Eventually, of course, the class ended, and I was left in the hallway, wandering aimlessly down toward the cafeteria. I was nervous because I knew Brian was going to be upset that I told on him… but I didn’t care. Not anymore.
---
Walking into the cafeteria, I did my best to maintain as much composure as I could. I didn’t want to seem sheepish… no, I wanted to appear like I knew exactly what I was doing, and held no regrets. I had to look and act tough.
I tried my best, as I walked through the cafeteria. Looking down, I saw “Seth’s table”. Emily and Oscar sat together, Seth and Nichole sat together, and now… I sat with Sarah.
“Hey
“Hey babe” I replied.
I glanced up briefly up at Seth, who simply was looking at me with his eyes despite his head being pointed toward Nichole. I ignored it… it looked like he was trying to be unwelcoming or intimidating or something. I didn’t care.
I felt Sarah put her hand on my lap.
I couldn’t help but feel a little awkward though… after that conversation she and I had the other last night. I did my best to get past it, and simply give my attention to Sarah, and everyone else.
I quickly smiled at Sarah, before saying hi to Oscar and Emily.
Yeah… I just had to act like I didn’t care at all. It was a charade, a bit… I was still kind of concerned about what was going to happen with Brian and Mrs. Nuberick.
“How’re you feeling
I knew what she was getting at…
“I’m… alright. How about you?” I asked her.
She giggled… and looked away from me.
“I’m good” she replied.
The way she looked away from me… it felt rather unconvincing. But I figured she was just saying things casually. I seriously doubted there was any problem between us.
“What about you two over there?” I asked.
Oscar and Emily were both pretty quiet. They both kind of shrugged… far from being lovey-dovey.
“Eh I’m alright bro” Oscar assured, shrugging.
Emily was quiet, with an indifferent expression on her face. She was staring off into space, kind of. But she smirked at me and shrugged too.
That’s when I looked over at Seth, who was especially quiet. He was contemplating something… something really hard. He didn’t look happy at all…
But that’s when it happened. The one thing that could’ve made a tense situation explode…
Seth, who was staring off into space, glanced over to the cafeteria entrance with his eyes. Then, he turned his whole head, and his eyes narrowed.
“
It was eerie, the way it worked. He somehow knew I was staring at him the whole time without ever looking at me.
“Is Brian really going to do what I think he’s going to?” he asked.
I looked over at what he was looking at: Brian, obliviously walking toward the cafeteria. He was still in the hallway outside it, but he was on his way in.
My heart fluttered, as I saw Seth’s cold expression, filled with rage. This was not a joke… he was going to stop Brian.
“No Seth, don’t worry about it” I replied, trying to sound like there was nothing to worry about.
He stared at me.
His face was so tense… the expression was beyond words. His teeth were grinding together a bit, toward the back of his jaw. His eyes narrowed, looking back at Brian.
He shook his head.
Obviously not buying it, he stood up from his seat… and slowly, seemingly casually, began making his way toward Brian.
“Oh shit” I thought.
Things were about to explode. Seth was about to fight Brian – and that was not going to be a losing fight for him.
“Seth, no!” I said.
Jumping up from the seat, I instantly started running toward Seth.
“Yo, what’s up?” I heard Oscar say.
I paid no attention, and walked along side of Seth, from the opposite side of the row of tables separating us.
“Seth, calm down!” I yelled.
He paid no attention, ignoring me.
“CALM DOWN!” I yelled.
Still no response.
“I TOOK CARE OF IT SETH, DON’T!” I yelled.
Right there, just like that… Seth came to a stop.
He turned his head to me, and clenched his fists… and I realized right then that I had just made a bad, bad mistake… confirming to Seth that Brian had intended to do something bad.
Just like that, Seth made a slightly faster walk right toward Brian. There was no stopping this.
I tried running to cut Seth off – but suddenly was cut off by some students standing in the aisle.
“Move guys!” I insisted.
But of course, they ignored me. I tried getting around them, but there was no use.
“BRIAN!” I yelled.
I couldn’t stop Seth, even if I were to get to him! I had no other option but to yell and try to warn Brian before he got punched in the face.
Looking out, I saw Brian looking over at me, and, oblivious to Seth stampeding toward him, he snarled at me.
“
“COME HERE!” he yelled, as he began walking toward me.
Right at that moment, the kids in front of me moved, clearing my path. I made a mad dash, running full speed toward Brian.
“BRIAN, RUN!” I screamed.
But Brian didn’t care. He was too angry at me for squealing on him with the administration. He continued walking toward me, with his fists clenched, not seeing Seth coming toward him from the side, with HIS fists clenched.
It was no use. I wasn’t to be able to get to Brian quickly enough, and he wasn’t going to get what I was trying to tell him in time. I watched, as I ran toward Brian, only to see Seth blindside Brian.
Seth came from Brian’s left side, hitting him one time right in the jaw. Brian’s whole head shook to the left from the sudden hit, turning his whole body with his head. Seth kept going though – he pushed Brian’s back hard, causing Brian to fall straight down onto the tile floor.
By the time I got close enough, Seth was already on top of Brian, cocking his arm back, ready for one hard, brutal hit. I did the only thing I could, and dove forward, tackling Seth off of Brian.
“Get the hell off me
I didn’t want to hit him, but I wanted to keep him down.
“No Seth, calm down!” I replied.
“Whose side are you on,
“I’m not on one!” I yelled.
“You’re about to be!” I heard him say.
I looked down at him.
“What?” I asked.
Suddenly, out of nowhere… a hit from my right side right in my face stunned me, knocking me off of Seth.
“AGH!” I yelled, shutting both my eyes, feeling my shoulder slam into the hard tile floor.
My left shoulder felt like it was on fire – it painfully burned, since the top part of it smashed right into the floor. Wincing in pain, I gritted my teeth, and turned onto my back. What the hell just happened?
“Agh… Shit!” I said, opening my eyes.
But it wasn’t time to relax. When I opened my eyes, I saw Brian standing there, cracking his knuckles, and beginning to run right toward me.
“You little snitch! You like to
tell on people,
“Fuck you, Brian!” I yelled.
He ran toward me, taking only a few steps to get where he basically hit me to. But I was furious now too, the little brat punched me in the face!
I saw him coming at me, and as if things went into slow motion, I could focus to see what was coming at me. I was lying on my back, and I couldn’t get up to defend myself. I had no choice but to use my legs.
I built up some rage, and right when he was in range, I kicked as hard as I could in his direction, and ended up hitting him hard in the right leg. I mean I put ALL of my energy into this one solid kick, putting my heel out first and everything. He definitely felt that.
“Aghh!” he yelled, instantly dropping to the ground, falling flat on his face.
I stared at Brian, who didn’t immediately stand back up.
I kicked myself away from Brian, and stood up quickly, waiting any second for him to get back up. But he didn’t… no, Brian didn’t get back up. Suddenly, I felt the anger inside of me… melt away. My tense jaw, gritting my teeth – slowly turned to a more limp one, as I realized I may have just hurt Brian with that kick.
“Get up, Brian!” I heard.
It was Seth.
Seth walked over top of Brian, and grabbed his shirt, and began to pick him back up.
“Seth, no! I think he’s hurt!” I called out.
Of course, he didn’t listen.
“Arghh!” Brian yelled, as Seth forced him to stand back up on his own two feet.
Brian now wasn’t looking very angry… he looked like he was in a lot of pain, wincing and holding his thigh.
“SETH! STOP!” I yelled.
Seth looked at him, snarling evilly… but he didn’t dare hit him again. The sight of Brian with a possibly broken leg stopped Seth even in his blind rage.
Short of breath, I watched as Seth looked at Brian the same way I just did. His rage turned to remorse before my very eyes.
“Oh my God!” I heard.
“Is that kid alright?” I heard from another.
Looking around, I realized just where we were, and what we did. The whole cafeteria was staring at us, and a bit of a circle had formed as they ran over to see it. It all happened so quick that people just now were realizing what had happened.
“Yo bro, holy SHIT!” I heard.
It was Oscar, busting his way through a growing wall of people.
“What the hell was this all about?” he said.
Looking over, I saw Sarah and Emily on the wall both with huge, surprised eyes.
I shook my head.
“Oscar, get these kids out of here” I said.
Oscar shrugged.
“What?” he said.
“Get them out of here!” I repeated.
“Uh… alright. YO WHAT THE HELL YOU KIDS LOOKING AT GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE MAN THERE AIN’T NOTHIN TO SEE HERE!” Oscar yelled at the top of his lungs, pushing some of the kids away from us, pushing the mob of growing kids back.
“Are you okay Brian?” I asked.
Brian though, just shook his head. He wasn’t crying but his drive to fight was crushed.
“Shut up
He looked like he was enduring a lot of pain… but not excruciating pain – like the wind had gotten knocked out of him.
“Brian? BRIAN!” I heard, and my already pounding heart dropped. I knew that voice.
I turned around, and standing, busting through the wall of kids, was none other than Daniel himself, looking at his injured brother.
“BRIAN! WHAT HAPPENED!?” Daniel shouted, running up to Brian.
“Oh no” I thought.
Daniel ran up to Brian, and grabbed him, and suddenly Brian gave me an evil, cold, glare.
“Brian, what happened? Who hit you?” Daniel asked.
I took a step back, and my heart started throbbing harder and harder. This was about to be it for me, and I knew it.
Brian didn’t say, and simply stared at me.
…and then…
“
The whole crowd suddenly erupted.
“Ohhhh!” they all chanted.
Daniel looked over at me, and squinted his eyes in confusion.
“
“I-It was an accident!” I said.
“
“D-Daniel, listen to me!” I said, basically pleading for him to stop and listen to what happened.
I saw the large, older brother of Brian walk straight toward me with a fist clenched and a facial expression of sheer disbelief and anger.
But he didn’t listen.
“What do you mean it was an
accident? Look at his face! You punch him in the face,
“It’s not like that!” I said.
“FUCK HIM UP!” I heard some kid scream.
“WHATS GOING ON HERE!?” we heard.
Everyone spun their heads, and there standing in the doorway were a few teachers.
“BREAK IT UP, BREAK IT UP!” they screamed, moving toward me and Daniel.
I looked back one time at Daniel, to say one last thing.
But what I saw was not his face. No, rather, I saw five knuckles soaring at my face.
“AGH!” I yelled, as Daniel’s hard punch hit me right upside the head.
It was a stunning hit… everything slowed down, it seemed. The hit knocked me back… and as I flew back, I lost my balance. Falling backward, I looked around with my eyes… everyone was just staring at me.
I felt… so strange. My face burned… and everything was in slow motion… and cloudy… and so bright. Even the rain, which I could barely see out the windows on the far end of the cafeteria, seemed so vivid.
Suddenly, I felt my butt hit the tile floor… and my back… and my head.
Looking up, toward the ceiling, I felt emotionless. What was this feeling?
“This can’t be good” I thought.
I simply watched as suddenly I saw everyone run over and look down at me. Random faces… all staring at me…
…as suddenly, their faces faded to black.
“Chapter Twenty-Six, Fall Outro”
“
“Someone call 9-11” another, a woman, said.
“He’s out cold. Don’t move him” the same older man said.
“Who hit him?” the woman asked.
“Danny Namble, for starting a fight with his brother Brian. That’s what one kid said” another voice said.
“Aghh…” I said, moaning.
I heard someone gasp!
“He’s waking up!” she said.
I was, it’s true. I moaned again, and went to roll over. Opening my eyes, I looked around.
“Don’t move,
I looked up at him, with hazing, blurry, disoriented vision. I felt so… so light, and strange – like I was floating. My face was burning, and I felt so dizzy, even though I was lying still.
“Look at me
I could tell he was a teacher. He was a bald man, with a grey beard and large square glasses. He looked like a doctor, actually.
“W-Who are you?” I said sloppily.
“My name is Mr. Benson – I’m a
health teacher. The nurse is coming but I need you to focus.
He curled his fingers accordingly to make the sign “3” with his hand.
“Three” I replied.
“What happened?” I asked.
I could barely remember anything that happened…
“You were in a fight, and you get hit in the face. What day is it?” he asked me.
“Um… ugh…” I said.
Things seemed so unclear…
“Uh… Monday” I finished.
“Date,
“I don’t know man!” I replied.
“What’s the month?” he asked.
“It’s… ugh… October...” I replied.
“Who’s the president?” he asked.
“Would you stop asking me all these damn questions!?” I suddenly burst out, holding my head.
He looked at me remorsefully, before putting his hand out to help me up.
“Stand up very slowly” he instructed.
I reached out, and grabbed his hand. Together, we both got me up on me own two feet.
My balance was so terrible… I struggled to keep upright. Mr. Benson needed to help keep me up… I felt so sick… so dizzy… so weak.
As we walked out of the cafeteria, I looked around and noticed it was empty, except for me and a few teachers. With his guidance, we made our way through the hallways and toward the nurse’s office.
“Ughhh… how… how long was I out?” I asked.
“A few minutes” he said.
“Wow… a few minutes…” I thought.
As we walked down the hallway, I could spot a few kids in the classrooms staring at me, pointing. It happened in most classrooms I passed by… I was suddenly a celebrity.
“Okay
My head… it was pounding harder and harder with each step I took. As I woke up more, the pain grew worse. My whole head felt like it was in a giant vice, and it was squeezing it from both sides.
Before I knew it though, I was guided to a door that read ‘Nurse’s Office’, in bright, exciting letters. It didn’t help make me feel any better. Mr. Benson opened the door, and guided me inside.
“Hello
I looked over, breathing heavily… my head hurt so bad… it was pounding. Everything around me… it was spinning out of control.
“I need to sit d-down” I said.
“Yes, sit – thank you Mr. Benson” the nurse said.
I looked around, and sat down in the first chair I saw – a comfortable office chair with a cushioned seat and wooden arms. I tilted my head on my shoulder and closed my eyes.
“Naghhh… ahhh… what happened? Why do I have such a bad headache?” I asked.
It wasn’t unbearable. It’s not like I was having an aneurism, but it was surely intense enough to take notice. It was like a really bad migraine, complete with all the nausea, sensitivity, and discomfort that came with one.
“Take care,
The nurse stood up, and grabbed a small flashlight.
“Look straight ahead for me” the nurse instructed.
I did the best I could, looking right in front of me, while she shone the flashlight into my eyes, examining whatever it was she was looking for.
Her office was tiny. I was in a small room with only two or three chairs, her desk, and two windows right in front of me (which, if it wasn’t for the rainstorm outside, would’ve been unbearable to look toward). It was a quaint little office, complete with the usual drawers, scales, bottles, and random tools of examination that usually came with any nurse’s station.
“What happened?” I asked.
For the life of me, I couldn’t remember what happened…
She pulled the flashlight away from me, and looked at me.
“What’s the last thing you remember?” she asked.
I shrugged.
“I… ugh… waking up… on the floor in the cafeteria… and being in some kind of… fight” I said.
“Good” she said.
“Can you remember who it was that hit you? Or why you got in the fight?” she asked me, looking at my other eye.
I thought real hard… I could see flashes of events. I remembered up to a point… but I was so disoriented. I remembered a lot more than I was letting on – I knew who I was and I remembered plenty about what was going on today. But I kept drawing a blank… I knew I was in a fight… and obviously Brian, Seth, and I think Daniel were involved. The whole fight was a blur.
Last I remembered, I was tackling Seth off of Brian. Everything after that was just… flashes, and probably false memories.
“I… I don’t remember much about the fight…” I said.
“What about why you were involved?” she asked.
I knew what was going on here. Even with a pounding migraine, I knew this wasn’t just a question regarding my mental health.
I quickly lied, and shook my head no.
“No” I replied.
“Okay” she finished.
She pulled away, and walked over to her desk.
I simply sat there… she asked me more questions and was writing notes down on a notepad… and several minutes passed. The entire time, I simply laid there with my head against the back of the chair, breathing heavily… feeling sick.
As my sense began to come back to me though, over the course of the next few minutes… some sensible things to ask came to mind, though.
“Hey” I said, through pants.
“Yeah,
“…I… really don’t feel good” I said.
She made a remorseful face.
“I’m sorry
“W-What’s wrong with me… what happened…” I asked.
She looked at me, and cleared her throat.
“Well
I chuckled weakly.
“Y-Yeah? How’s that?” I asked.
This was definitely surprising news. I felt like death.
“You got hit pretty hard in the
fight, which caused you to fall. People said you hit your head off the floor
pretty hard, too. Two hard impacts to the head like that… I’d say you’ve got a
pretty good concussion,
I nodded, blinking. My eyes blinked out of sync, I noticed. One, then the next.
“A concussion, huh? So this is what one of those feels like…” I said, being sarcastic – trying to be good natured.
She only seemed slightly amused.
“
I looked at her… it was obviously for the best. I didn’t care about going to the hospital – they didn’t scare me. But I couldn’t even begin to think about how my mom must’ve been feeling, hearing about what was going on.
She must’ve been so scared.
I didn’t say anything much more at this point… there wasn’t anything to say. I simply looked forward, and watched the rain fall out the window.
My head hurt, and my face burned. My shoulder was sore, and I felt overall god-awful. I was tired, disoriented, in pain, nauseous, and confused… I just wanted to go home.
But it was at that moment, suddenly, there was a knock on the door.
“Come in” the nurse said.
Swinging open the door and waltzing on in was none other than Mrs. Nuberick, the assistant director herself.
“
“Eh… hi” I replied.
“Oh great, what’s this gonna be about?” I wondered.
“Are you okay?!” she asked.
She seemed astonished!
“I’m alright” I said, halfheartedly.
She looked at me, unconvinced.
“What was this about? Was it about what we talked about, earlier today?” she asked.
I hesitantly nodded.
“
“Look… Brian was mad because I told you what I did. But I don’t remember much about the fight right now anyway” I explained.
She looked at me and shook her head.
“Okay” she replied.
“If you saw the stuff Brian had, I think you’d understand why Seth was so upset” I admitted.
She looked at me and tilted her head up, contemplating.
“Ohhh… so it was Seth who Brian was going to try to embarrass” she said.
I looked up at her, realizing I had left Seth’s name out earlier… on purpose.
“What do you mean? Didn’t you see the pictures?” I asked.
How didn’t she know about Seth’s involvement, yet? The pictures were clear as day!
“
I looked up at her with a shocked look. I didn’t believe it.
“What?” I asked.
“
“…wait… so… Brian… he had nothing?” I asked.
“No,
I stared at her, slack-jawed.
“No, that can’t be. Mrs. Nuberick, he had to have had it on him somewhere” I insisted.
But she shook her head.
“I’m sorry
And just like that… she turned around and walked away… shutting the door behind her.
How did Brian have nothing on him? How did he not have any pictures? He said he did… he wanted me to help him, and everything! What sense did this make?
I thought about it… despite my head pounding, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Why would he lie about bringing the pictures to school to embarrass Brian?
---
My mom arrived before the ambulance, and of course, she came with me to the hospital. And of course, I did end up being diagnosed with a concussion - a pretty mild one, at that. The doctor admitted it wasn’t nearly the worst one he’d ever seen, but it was still advised that I take two or three days off of school, and spend my time resting as much as I could.
The doctor insisted absolutely no sports, no more fighting, no riding my bike – anything that could involve me hitting my head again, and told me to come back in a week. That was perfectly fine to me.
Of course, I did follow the instructions… and then some. I took three days off school… and even decided to take the rest of the week off. I figured it was nothing I couldn’t make up. I had a medical excuse, anyway. What were they going to do about it?
The truth about it was that I felt humiliated about everything… I told my mom I was feeling sick still. I was pretty sure she knew I was lying… but she let it slide. All I did during the week off was lay in bed, watch TV, and go on the computer. I didn’t even talk to anyone on the phone.
I didn’t want to talk to or see anyone after that day. It changed… everything, really. Seth and I were no longer friends, according to me. Not after what he said, and did in the last few times I saw him. I was completely done with dealing with his crap.
And Brian… I think it was pretty obvious that we weren’t going to be talking much anymore – not after he revealed his true feelings, and tried pulling such a stunt like that. Because I didn’t talk to anyone, not even Sarah, during those few days, I wasn’t sure how bad I hurt Brian’s leg.
I didn’t like the kid at the moment, but I surely didn’t want him hurt. Of course, if he wasn’t hurt, if I didn’t break his leg – then he deserved it.
I wasn’t sure how Sarah, Emily, and Oscar felt about the whole situation. This wasn’t about them though. This was something that was going to happen, so this was kind of none of their business, but I knew they’d be interested. It was humiliating to know that my girlfriend watched me get knocked out in a single punch though. Not exactly the manliest thing, right? I felt pathetic.
The only person that I felt like I needed to talk to about this situation, ironically, was Daniel. He didn’t punch me because he was against me, he punched me because he was defending his brother. If I had a younger sibling and someone hit them, I probably would’ve reacted the same way.
That weekend though, I knew I had to get out and say something to someone. There was no one I could trust though. My whole world felt like it came to a screeching halt with the things that happened that day. I felt pathetic because I got nothing accomplished except getting a concussion and having my friends hate me.
On Sunday, I found myself lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, listening to the sound of raindrops outside. It was raining yet again… it felt like it was raining forever. I sighed a glum sigh. I didn’t feel right the last few days. Everything felt so… claustrophobic. Like I was trapped inside myself, stuck thinking the same sad, pessimistic thoughts. I felt… so empty… so drained, and exhausted.
I felt overwhelmed at the amount of things that had happened to me in the last few weeks, so I summarized it for myself.
I now hated Seth because of what he did, as well as Brian. I got punched in the face and humiliated by Daniel, in front of the whole school, including my girlfriend. I felt pretty embarrassed about that. I still didn’t know how bad I hurt Brian, or what the whole explanation was behind why he’d lie about bringing pictures to school. My mom was worried about me. My girlfriend probably thought I was a loser. Oh, and I got scathing reviews on my story that I wrote… it seemed like no one really gave a damn about me in any fashion, huh?
I felt like I was falling… and I guess, in a way, I did. I went from such an upbeat kid, confused about his friends… to lying in this bed, lonely, hurt, and sad. I wondered… how did this happen? What did I do wrong?
Suddenly, though… my train of thought was broken by the shocking sound of my phone ringing. Someone was calling me? No, it was probably for my mom. I got up and checked it anyway…
“Hello?” I asked, kind of sighing into it.
“Um… hi…
It was a girl… and of course, not just any girl… but Sarah!
“Y-Yeah! Hey, Sarah, what’s up?” I asked, clearing my throat.
My voice had a kind of lightness to it, and I didn’t want to sound as depressed as I probably did.
“What’s up?” she asked.
I looked around at my dimly sunlit room.
“Uh…” I said, sighing again.
“Not much” I finished, sitting down on my bed.
“Why haven’t you been in school?” she asked me.
She didn’t sound too concerned… she even half-chuckled at the end of her sentence.
“I uh… I dunno. Just… had stuff I needed to take care of” I said.
That was a lie. I had nothing to do.
“Everyone’s been talking about it, you know” she said.
“…about what?” I asked.
“The fight, duh!” she said.
That certainly didn’t make me feel any better.
“Well… okay… um… what have they been saying?” I asked.
“Just… you know… talking about it. They wanted to know if you were dead or not because you haven’t been to school in so long. What was that all about, anyway?” she asked.
“W-What, the fight? It wasn’t… you know, anything special. It just kind of happened. We were mad at each other, that’s all” I explained, trying not to give the details.
“For what?” Sarah asked.
“Just stupid crap” I replied, dancing around the subject.
“Oh… kay?” Sarah replied.
She was obviously let down by the fact that I wouldn’t divulge the exact details. I couldn’t even think of a good lie, either.
“Yeah… I’ll be in school tomorrow… okay?” I said.
“Okay
There was silence… I lacked anything to say, at all.
“…
I shrugged, even though I knew she couldn’t see me.
“Yeah, I’m fine Sarah” I finished.
“Alright…” she said.
There was more silence…
“Hey – Sarah” I said, suddenly coming up with something to ask.
“Have you seen Brian?” I asked.
“Brian Namble? Yeah he’s been in school. Why, what’s up?” she asked.
“How’s his leg?” I asked.
“His leg? They’re both fine. I mean… the day after the fight he was limping a bit I noticed, but he’s fine” she confirmed.
“Oh… okay, thanks. I just wanted to know… you know, if he was alright and all” I finished.
“…uh huh… well… okay,
“Okay Sarah” I finished.
We said our goodbyes, and hung up the phone. Once again, I was left in my room, isolated, and alone. For this moment, that was okay.
I thought about Brian and Daniel some more… and shook my head… this wasn’t over. I picked up the phone, and reluctantly dialed a certain phone number. I needed answers, before going into school tomorrow.
“Hello?” I heard. It was Daniel.
Something though… kept me from saying anything…
“Hello?” I heard Daniel say again.
I listened… there was a chill going up my spine… like this was a mistake calling him.
“Hello!?” I heard Daniel say one more time.
…finally, he hung up the phone. I did, too.
I didn’t need to talk to Daniel or Brian. There was no point… nothing would be resolved by now. No… Brian and Daniel… they wouldn’t give me answers about anything. Did I really need answers?
Brian’s lie about bringing pictures of Seth in diapers… I didn’t need to know. I didn’t care when I really put things into perspective.
I put my phone on the charger, and looked around my room.
Brian, Daniel, and Seth were out of the picture, from here on out. I didn’t care for them… they aren’t the people they used to be. Or maybe… they aren’t the people I thought they were – that I was led to believe. But I did have new friends to make in school. I did have Sarah, and Emily, and Oscar.
That’s it! I just needed new friends. And who knew where my relationship with Sarah would lead? Maybe… just maybe… if our relationship got strong enough… I could reveal my TB side to her… and we could play around with that. Oh that’d be nice.
This was, of course, not how I expected things to go. I figured… maybe if I helped my friends, things would be all good again… and that’d be the end of things. But I realized now that’s simply not how things happened.
There was more though. This was not the end… I knew in my heart that things would continue. But somehow I knew things would be different from here on out. I had come full circle, really. I’m now that same kid I was when I met Brian, Daniel, and Seth – shy, new, and in search of friends.
Of course… I missed the easier days, only a few months ago. Things being easier… simpler… more innocent, I guess. The days of us doing dares, and sleeping over Brian’s house. The days of things being new, and exciting – in a more colorful, happier way. But I was alone again. It was like all that was behind me, and here I was, full circle at the beginning.
This story – my story was not over. It will go on. It will continue.
Of course, I didn’t know what it’d lead to. I didn’t know where my story here was going to go… but I knew for sure things were not finished.
“Wait” I thought.
I walked over to my computer chair, turned on my monitor, and opened up Word. I thought about everything – not just the last few weeks or days, but the last few months. I thought about what I had been through… I thought about the diapers, and I thought about the way Brian and the whole crew used to be before all of this happened.
“That’s it” I thought.
I had a bright idea for a story… a brilliant idea, and concept.
I had… a revelation.
Written from 2007-2009, by Baby Jake. ([email protected])
This story and the others within
the