Aden’s Alteration
By Baby Jake (2005) – Revised in 2008
(Story II:
Chapter
Eleven: A Reason for Suspicion
Chapter
Twelve: A Dream Shattered
Chapter
Thirteen: Thumbs Up For Change
Chapter
Fourteen: A Familiar Melody
Chapter
Fifteen: The Night of Anticipation
Part
One: Getting the Goods
Part
Two: Just Watch the Fireworks…
Part
Three: A Bond Pulled Stronger
Chapter
Sixteen: Happy 4th of July… Baby
Chapter
Seventeen: A Rude Awakening
Chapter
Eighteen: Summer Outro
Notice:
The following story is a sequel to
“Chapter Eleven, A Reason for
Suspicion”
“I can do this” I thought.
“I can do this…” I thought,
once more…
I glared at them… my heart was
pounding. My blood was boiling. My mind was racing. My hands were shaking. I
was on edge.
“Don’t act suspicious” I
thought to myself.
“Just do it, and leave. No one
will care. No one will think anything of it” I thought.
But I was standing still.
“…not again…” I thought,
accepting my own defeat.
I kind of sighed, and walked
away… away from that baby’s aisle, standing in front of the packs of diapers.
I hastily walked through the
store, and picked up some random object, which ended up being a candy bar… and
purchased it to make it look like I wasn’t stealing something.
Then, I walked out the doors of
that grocery store, and into the blazing heat that awaited me outside.
---
And that wasn’t an
overstatement. As I walked outside, it was pretty much the equivalent of being
punched in the face. The change in temperature was incredible, from the
air-conditioned store, to the exhausting heat of outside.
I kind of slouched as I
struggled to get behind the store, to get my bike, and ride it home… which was
a horrible task. The few small inclines I had to go up on my way home, which
weren’t usually anything bad… were like mountains with this heat.
But surely, of course, I made
it home. I wasn’t in the best of moods however. I sadly stomped into my room…
“Damn it…” I typed.
“What? You didn’t get them?” he
typed back to me.
This was, of course, the friend
whom I met a month or so ago.
“No… I freaked out again” I
sadly typed.
“Man… you have to chill. Oh
well… most people back down once or twice before they finally buy their own
diapers…” he typed back to me.
“Yeah, yeah… I know” I said.
“Why can’t you just get them
off of Brian again?” he asked me.
“He doesn’t have anymore. We
used them all.” I reminded him.
“Oh yeah… he wasn’t a DL you
said, so he only bought a bag for the dares…” he remembered out loud.
“Yeah…” I said.
“Man… I still don’t think he’s
what he said he was… just a normal kid” he replied.
“Eh… I still have my doubts
but, you know… I can’t really do anything to make sure he isn’t. And besides… I’ve been keeping an eye on him. He seems like
a normal kid, anyway…” I said.
“Yeah, true…” he replied.
“I don’t know man… I’m feeling
a bit depressed now. I can’t bring myself to buy diapers, and I want them bad”
I whined.
“Awww… you’ll be fine. Just
build courage. It’s not easy… It took me two tries to get my first pack of
diapers last week” he said to me.
“Yeah… I know…” I said.
“Man its weird though, you ran
through the streets of a town in nothing but a diaper with Brian, eventually
not getting phased at all, but now you are scared to buy your own” he said.
“I
know, I know… I guess its because I just moved here at the time,
I knew no one, no one knew me… but that’s changed… people know me more now…” I
said.
“Yeah, I can see that” he
acknowledged.
“So what are you going to do
now?” he asked me.
I shrugged, even though he
wasn’t in front of me in person.
“I don’t know…” I said.
I thought for a moment…
“Maybe I’ll go and call Seth or
Brian or something” I typed.
“Okay” he replied.
“Yeah… I guess I’ll do that” I
said.
“Alright” he replied.
There was of course a phone
next to me… it was cordless, and it was usually in my room at all times.
I picked it up, turned it on,
and dialed in Brian’s number.
“Hello?” I heard over the
phone. It was his mom.
“Hi this is
“Oh. Sorry, no he isn’t. He and
Dan went out for a bit… but I can have him call you, when he gets back, okay?”
his mom said.
“Okay, thanks” I said.
We hung up.
“Hmmm… things just aren’t going
my way…” I thought.
I then picked the phone up,
turned it on, and dialed in Seth’s number this time.
“Hello?” I heard… wasn’t sure
who it was.
“Hi this is
“Yes he is
“Thanks” I said…
It was a minute or so, before I
finally heard Seth’s voice.
“Hello?” I heard.
“Hey” I said ambitiously.
“Oh hey
“What are you up to?” I asked.
“Not much man… why, what’s up?”
he asked.
“Was wondering if we could do
something or not” I said.
“Hmmm… I’m sure we can. What’d
you have in mind?” he asked.
“I dunno…
nothing specific” I said.
“Well if you want to come over,
come on over” he said to me.
“Alright” I said.
---
I was back on my bike, once
again, as I cruised through the streets. I had gone to Seth’s house many times
by now, so I knew exactly where to go. When I made it to my house, I dropped my
bike in Seth’s front yard, went on top of his porch, and knocked on his door.
“Hey” Seth said as he opened
the door… he was obviously waiting for me.
“You want to ride bikes?” I
invited.
He contemplated…
“Sure, alright” he said.
Seth smiled a bit.
“Come inside for a minute
though… I need to ask my mom for my allowance.” He explained.
“Oh, okay” I said
understandingly.
“Yeah man… we can go to like a
Dairy Queen or something. It’s hot out there” Seth said.
“Yeah…” I agreed.
I sat down on the couch, as
Seth walked somewhere else into the house. I heard footsteps upstairs, some
heavily muffled voices and a high pitched crying sound, and then footsteps
coming back.
Seth sighed…
“She’s busy with my little
brother at the moment” he said.
“Alright” I said
understandingly.
“So… we’re going to have to
chill here for a few minutes. Put on TV or something while she’s done taking
care of Ethan” he said.
Ethan was of course, Seth’s young
brother who hasn’t yet exceeded the age of an early toddler.
“Alright” I said
understandingly, again.
Personally, I didn’t care too
much. I was honestly enjoying lounging around in the nice air-conditioned
house, considering the heat outdoors.
It was though, only a few
minutes before we eventually saw Seth’s mom walking through with Ethan in her
arms, asleep.
“Seth, hold on a minute, okay?”
she whispered.
She went upstairs and
eventually returned not with Ethan, but with some cold hard cash.
“Here’s your allowance for this
week” she said, giving Seth some money.
“Thanks” he said.
And after that, there was no
hesitation for us to get out, and get on our bikes.
---
We whizzed through
intersections, small streets, back alleys, and obscure roads to try to let the
wind cool us off. I followed him to the ice cream shop, since he knew where it
was. I had a pretty good idea where it was, after all… I wasn’t really new to
the town anymore. I knew where most things were, but not as well as I did with
my old town. He was taking a strange route… it was longer, but I think he was
just enjoying his bike ride.
We stopped in a parking lot… I
knew exactly where we were… because there was the store I was at an hour or so
ago.
“Here, follow me just a bit
further” he said.
We cruised through it, until we
came to another stop in front of a small ice cream shop. It had picnic benches,
and there were a few people at it… but there was a bench we could sit at.
We dropped our bikes, walked up
to the cashier, and ordered some ice cream and some hot dogs… Once we got them,
we sat down at our bench, and chilled out.
“You hang out with Brian
lately?” Seth asked me as we sat down.
“Not recently…” I said.
“Yeah, same” Seth said.
“What are you doing for the 4th?”
I asked him, pertaining to the upcoming 4th of July holiday.
“No clue man… I was hoping we
could sleep over Brian’s house or something” Seth said.
I nodded in agreement.
“…but I don’t know how that’ll
be with those two being busy” he finished.
I nodded in agreement, again.
“This always happens though.”
He said.
“What?” I asked.
“I guess they are in some
summer program or something” he said.
“I thought you had only moved
here a few months ago?” I asked.
“Well… yeah – I did. But Brian
did say something about leaving for a little while like every other year. I
can’t remember if he ever said much more than that” Seth explained.
“Oh” I said, never really
thinking of it like that.
“Yeah… I don’t really care
though. That’s why I never bothered asking” I said.
I nodded some more.
“What are YOU doing for the 4th?”
he asked me.
“Me? I dunno…
nothing planned.” I said.
“Yeah… well I dunno, if
you can’t think of anything, you’re always welcome to sleep over my house” he
invited.
“Thanks… I’ll definitely keep
that in mind” I said.
“Yeah… that’s if Brian and
Daniel are too busy. Then you should sleep over their house. Whenever there is
a sleepover, it’s always a good time. I’m sure you know that now” Seth said.
It was a refreshing sit… very
nice and fun. He and I talked about stuff, just what’s been going on in our
lives. Whenever we were done, though… we began back to Seth’s
house.
---
We walked in, and took our
shoes off and pretty much got comfortable as we walked into his living room. We
sat down on his couch, with nothing in mind to do exactly.
Before either one of us even
turned the TV on, though… Seth asked me a question.
“Want to play Playstation, in my room?” he asked me.
I contemplated…
“Sure… alright” I said.
We got off the couch and went
upstairs, into his room. It was very cool inside; his air conditioner was on… It
was even cooler inside his room than the rest of the house.
“Aww man… can I move in?” I
jokingly asked, acknowledging the cold air.
“This is nice” I said.
He laughed, and bent down to
start up his PS2 and his TV.
“Sit down anywhere you find a
spot to” he said…
He said that because his room
very much unorganized. Clothes, books, and random stuff were on the floor all
over. I looked around, and eventually just sat down on the floor, since I
didn’t want to sit on his bed to be polite.
Despite the mess though you
could tell Seth wasn’t exactly a slob. It seemed more like an organized
clutter. It wasn’t my room so I really didn’t care.
---
It had been about an hour… he
and I were playing for the whole time, and just having idle chat about
whatever.
“Hang on man… I’ve got to go
use the bathroom” he said, pausing the game.
I of course was not going to
keep him from doing his business, especially in his own house, so I just nodded
in acknowledgment as he left the room.
It was of course only me during
that time. At that time, in Seth’s room… I stretched a bit, drowning in my own
thoughts as I always did when I had time to myself. I cracked some joints, and
as I was stretching… I guess I must’ve lost my balance but I kind of fell back
onto my back real fast.
The clothes and stuff on the
floor of course made for a soft landing. All was very soft on me… except for
something. Something was digging into my back, somewhat painfully… but not
agonizingly. I just sat up quickly, and of course, examined what it was.
I looked, but there was
nothing.
“That’s funny…” I thought.
I knew for a fact something was
digging into my back when I was on it… But there was nothing but clothes. So I
felt around, and eventually felt that there was something under it. So I moved
the clothes away.
And it was to my absolute
surprise… it made my heart skip a beat when I realized what it was. My eyes
widened, my mouth dropped, my heart stopped, and my blood began pumping. I
double glanced. I glanced once, twice, three times to make sure I wasn’t
hallucinating… because to my absolute shock… I was staring at what was
apparently… a baby blue pacifier, with a clear silicon nipple.
Like I said… I wasn’t too sure
if I were dreaming, hallucinating, or witnessing some phenomenal effect from
the immense heat and sun outside. But I became very aware very quickly, that
this was no illusion. There really was a blue pacifier on Seth’s floor.
And after that fact sunk in, I
began to react… react with mostly questions and thoughts. But out of all of
them, I quickly came to my rather hasty conclusion as to why there was a
pacifier on his floor.
“Seth… is a teen baby” I
thought.
No other reason to me sounded
logical; only that one.
Suddenly my mindless gaze was
stopped as I heard a door shut, in the hall beyond this room. I knew it was
Seth, coming back. It was in those five seconds I had to make a decision.
“What should I do!?” I thought.
“I could tell him I found it…
let him know I know he is what he is…” I said.
But right when I heard that
door beginning to open, I tossed it back under the clothes, and acted like
nothing was wrong.
He didn’t notice anything…
“Got to go when you have to go”
he said as he walked in.
“Y-Yeah” I stuttered.
He smirked, and walked over to
his controller. I looked over at him… and I must have been glaring at him quite
noticeably, because…
“What?” he said to me, knocking
me out of my mindless gaze.
“Huh? Oh… nothing” I said,
lying completely.
“Okay… well… let’s get to
playing” he said.
I knocked the whole thing out
of my head for now. I needed to act cool… act calm. Act like I didn’t find a
pacifier on his floor. Act like I was only ten minutes ago… act like we were
real close friends. Which we were, but… I was feeling very strange.
It was an incredibly strange
feeling… it was completely surprising in all ways. I mean… not to compare a
good thing with a bad thing… but it was like finding your best friend on drugs.
I mean, you always are cautious of such a thing, but when it actually happens,
you don’t know what to do, even though you always thought over and over about
what if it happened. Should you tell someone? Should you come out with it? What
should you do? It was a very strange situation.
But I acted cool. I acted like
all of the things I listed previously. Until, finally… I had to go home. It was
getting late, and dinner was getting made at my house… so I went home.
“Chapter Twelve, A Dream Shattered”
“He’s a freakin’
teen baby” I typed.
“What!?” I saw
come back.
“I found a pacifier in his room
man” I told him.
I was, of course, talking to my
online friend. My best one, at least. Since I first
met him, I had met several others… but none of them were quite as good as one
as this one. Luke, or ‘Lukie’ – turned out to be his
name.
We had been chatting for quite
a while, often nightly. We were quickly becoming great friends.
“That’s quite a find” I saw
Lukie type back.
“Yeah…” I said.
“What’d you do?” I was asked.
“…I did nothing. I’m just going
to wait for a bit…” I said.
“Man… that is really strange” I
saw.
“Yes” I agreed.
“You really think he is?” I was
asked.
“Well… I don’t think there is
much more reason for him to have a pacifier in his room” I explained.
“This is true…” I saw Luke type
back.
“I dunno…”
I kind typed.
I thought for a moment…
“I need sleep” I said.
“Okay” he replied.
“Yeah…” I said.
“Good night” he said.
I turned my monitor off, stood
up, turned around, and fell face-first onto my bed. I crawled up it, and
shuffled around some, trying to get bundled up into the blankets. Even though
it was the middle of summer, and my air conditioner was on low… it was
something about a blanket that didn’t allow me to sleep if I weren’t under one.
I guess it was the weight, or the feel alone… but I couldn’t. It just made me
feel weird.
Once I finally got into my
preferred position, I laid there still, thinking once more as I usually did
when my mind wasn’t stimulated by something else. This time though… I wasn’t
contemplating myself, or my desires… I was contemplating Seth, his desires, and
what I found on his floor.
I mean… wasn’t it really all
what it seemed to be? I mean, yes, it definitely was a pacifier, and it was
definitely one a baby would use. However, I guess I was being cautious… but I
was thinking about what if I was overreacting, and he really wasn’t a teen
baby? What if it was all a misunderstanding?
I thought for a moment… of
course. But then I shut myself up. I quit thinking about the bad possibilities,
and then began to think about all the good ones. A friend who shares my desire
for diapers… a friend who I can share that kind of desire freely with. Someone
I can have a normal conversation with, in person, over coffee if I really felt
like it. The fantasies all kind of gave me a big cheesy grin, and something to
think about, until I eventually softly fell asleep….
---
“You wanna wear big boy pants?”
I heard.
I left out an infantile whine…
It was I and my mother. We were in the bathroom. I was
sitting there, on the floor, looking up at the toilet, which seemed very
unappealing to me.
“No” I insisted, vigorously shaking my head left and
right.
She chuckled…
“Come on
“Yeah” I said with a smile.
“You want to go to school? Meet a bunch of friends?” she
asked.
“Yeah” I said with a cheesier smile.
“Well. These are parts of growing up” she said.
I listened with interest but attempted to act as though I
wasn’t.
“And it isn’t just driving a car, or meeting friends.
There’s a whole lot more that’s fun about growing up” she began.
“Like riding a bike… Getting a job, so you can get your
own money and buy all the ice cream you want. Sleeping in your own bed…” she
said, listing basic things…
I was interested.
“Now
“Uh huh!” I said, nodding my head
vigorously.
“Well. One of the first parts about growing up… is getting
rid of those diapers” she said.
“Why?” I kind of whined…
“Hehe… only baby’s where diapers” she said, chuckling a
bit…
---
And it was right there, I was suddenly back in my bed,
back in my room, back in my house, back in my thirteen year old self, rather
than being a young toddler, in my old house, in my old nursery.
I was completely awake. The sun had risen, so I got a good
night’s sleep. I was lying there, staring at the ceiling, completely
dumbfounded by the dream… and wondering how many times it had been that I’ve
had that dream.
I sat up, contemplating my dream. I was getting
aggravated. This was the one of many times I have had this dream now, but it
wasn’t the same every time. Details were changed; my mom and I were in a
different area sometimes, etc.
It was all very interesting, but I wasn’t in the mood to
continue thinking about it any further. My stomach was growling, indicating I
was very hungry… So I knocked myself out of my little trance, and stood up, and
walked downstairs, into the kitchen.
---
“I don’t know what it is man” I typed.
“That is pretty weird…” Luke typed.
“Yeah… it’s been like a dream that repeats itself over,
but isn’t the same twice” I typed back.
We were, of course, discussing my dream.
“I don’t know what it could mean… I mean it definitely
comes from your need for diapers and such, but it seems to have more depth to
it than that” I read.
“Yeah… it feels like more than just my mind dealing with
that” I replied.
“Like how do you feel?” Luke asked me.
“When?” I asked.
“After the dream… during the dream…” he said.
“Well… after words… I feel really odd. It gives me a
strong emotion of like… it’s really hard to explain. It feels like I’m missing
something big” I said.
“And during?” he asked.
“…it feels like I have everything I ever wanted” I said.
“Hmmm…” I read.
“I mean, in the dream, everything seems so real and clear.
Nothing I can think of looks or seems out of place, nothing seems wrong in
anyway. It all seems so clear and real, it actually confuses the hell out of me
when I wake up” I said.
“I see…” I read.
“I’ll give it some thought, you know? I think about it,
tell you what I come up with. But I have to go for now” I saw.
“Alright man…” I typed.
He logged off, and so I was left alone to contemplate
further. However, I didn’t think about my dream any further. I felt it was unnecessary
to think about something that wasn’t real; when there was something else that
was very real awaiting my action: Seth’s and his pacifier.
“What am I going to do?” I thought.
This was one of those things you always wanted to happen
but never thought it would, so when it finally did, you were completely taken
off guard, like I was now. I was thinking and thinking… until finally I came to
a conclusion that I would like to talk to him about it… later on today…
So I reached over, and grabbed my phone, eager to call
him… I dialed his number, and placed it against my ear.
“Hello?” I of course heard. It was Seth.
“Hey Seth” I said.
“Oh hey
“What are you up to?” I asked him.
“Nothing much at all honestly… sitting around, was just sitting
around in my room, playing some games on my PS2 as always…” I heard him say.
And then and there, I had a mental picture of what he
probably was doing… He was probably sitting there, on his bed, with his
pacifier in his mouth, and maybe with a bottle, too…
“Yeah, I’m pretty bored” I admitted.
“Well… come on over if you can, you’re always welcomed on
over” he said.
I felt touched…
“Thanks, I guess I’ll be on my over then” I said.
“Alright, well… I’ll see you” he said.
I hung up the phone, and began to get dressed. I quickly
threw on my clothes, and even threw on my backpack (I brought it with me pretty
much everywhere lately) – and left my house for Seth’s.
---
It was a longer walk to his house than usual. This was of
course, all mental… I got there in only a few minutes, but those minutes
stretched on for a lot longer than that to me. This is because I was doing a
lot of thinking… and decision making. I was thinking about how I was going to
reveal to him, my discovery. Should I throw hints, or just say it to him
straight out? Should I admit to him my side as a diaper-lover, first, in case
he thinks I won’t accept it, or let him come out first? How was I going to set
the mood? Should I even set the mood? Maybe I should just slowly transition
into a conversation about this kind of stuff…
There were a lot of things on my mind of course. Every
scenario I thought of I tried to make a plan for it, to be prepared. But there
simply wasn’t enough distance between his house and mine for me to prepare
completely, because before I realized it, I was standing in front of Seth’s
house once again. I walked to the door and knocked.
The door swung open like it usually did, and it was of
course Seth answering it, since he was expecting me. He greeted me inside, and
I of course fronted a fake attitude, trying not to act like there was something
on my mind. I smiled, and acted eager to hear what he did last night… and its
not like I didn’t care, there was just other things on my mind that I wanted to
get out as soon as I possibly could. I was just waiting for that opportunity
that there would be silence, for me to somehow spark up a conversation.
And then it came.
---
“Yeah man… I don’t know what Brian and Daniel have been up
to. But like I said, you’ve got to really seriously try to sleepover their
house if you can for the 4th…” he said.
“Yeah, I really want to” I explained.
“Maybe we could do some more dares or something” he said.
My opportunity has arrived…
“Yeah, we haven’t done those in a while” I said.
“That’s true, I don’t know why.” He said back.
“I don’t know… We’ve had a few sleepovers this summer so
far, but not as many as I’ve been hoping. The whole dares thing kind of ended
after our first summer sleepover, you remember?” he explained.
I thought about what he meant…
And it was actually true. It was about mid-June, the
school year had finally ended. It was actually the Friday that school ended on
that we slept over Brian’s house. We were all sitting in Brian’s and Daniel’s
room, all contemplating what to do next with our ‘diaper-dares’.
However, as we all discussed… the magic had kind of faded
for all of us. I, of course, was staring at Brian the whole time, watching his
moves, examining him for any signs of being a diaper-lover. But like I said, the
magic had faded. None of us had any interest anymore to do them. Our
imagination had faded; we were completely and utterly bone-dry of any ideas.
And it was that night that would end our dares for the
month so far. There hasn’t been any diaper-streaking through the night or
anything like that, since that night. And the dares that the night featured
weren’t very spectacular or really worth any of our time anymore. So they
stopped…
“Yeah, I see what you mean” I concurred.
He shrugged, showing off his apathy as usual. I felt my
opportunity to start a conversation beginning to slowly vanish… So I jumped on
it as fast as I could.
“So how come we enjoy doing those dares so much?” I asked,
spitting out the first thing I thought of.
“I don’t know… I just did them because it was fun, and
something about them made it difficult for us to do them.” He explained.
“Yeah” I answered.
“I don’t know its something to do. Not much to do here,
you know? So… dares of any kind are just a way to have fun” he admitted.
“Yeah, me too” I said.
“So Seth” I began…
“What’s up?” he asked.
“What’s your opinion on people’s inner-differences?” I
asked… perhaps being a bit too vague.
“What?” he asked completely confused.
“I mean like, what’s your take on people who are different
because they like more… strange things?” I asked.
“Hmmm… I don’t really know what you’re getting at with
this… but I guess I don’t really care. You are who you are, just mind your
business and I’ll mind mine” he said.
I nodded to show I understood.
“Why do you ask?” he asked me.
“I don’t know, was just a question. Trying to start a
conversation…” I said.
“Ah…” he kind of said.
“I was just wondering, you seem
like a guy who’s pretty much non-caring about stuff.” I said.
He shrugged.
“Yeah…” I said…
“Hey Seth” I said.
“What’s up?” he said again.
“How come you had a pacifier under your shirt last night?”
I asked.
Now maybe I went about it the whole wrong way… but I
couldn’t think of any way to put it.
“W-what?” he asked.
I suddenly came very clear that he was now caring about
something. His eyes got larger, and he sat up a bit…
“A pacifier” I said.
“A little, baby blue pacifier was under that shirt… right
there” I said, pointing at the shirt that I didn’t notice was still lying
there, on his floor… until now.
He looked a bit shocked, but not TOO shocked. Not as
shocked as I would’ve been if someone were to ask why I had diapers under my
bed.
He looked at me, and slowly bent down, and pulled the
shirt away. And like I said, there it was. There was the blue pacifier I had
mentioned to him only a moment or two before, laying on the floor. He picked it
up, and looked at me… and looked at it again with a strange look on his face.
“Dude” he said.
I felt uneasy… I felt like I had gone about it the wrong
way. I was looking at him, as he had a strange expression on his face…
“Man its cool I don’t care” I said.
He shook his head…
“No really, it’s fine. I…” and it was right there. Right there that I was cut off. I was cut off by Seth’s next
words, which almost made me have a stroke from absolute disbelief.
I mean… to think I almost said “I – like to wear diapers,
too” to Seth. However, I was luckily cut off…
“This is my little brother’s pacifier that he’s been
crying and screaming about for the past like three days about” he said.
My heart stopped.
“…w…what?” I said, feeling a sudden lack of
air in my lungs.
“Yeah!” he said, with his expression slowly transitioning
into a bit of joy rather than shock.
“Man! Now I can SLEEP!” he said with happiness.
I couldn’t breathe. My heart was racing so damn fast I
couldn’t see straight. I thought I was going to die from the blood rushing
through my veins at off-the-charts pressure. I had complete, full-body
paralysis. I couldn’t move from shock.
Why? It wasn’t because I had jumped the gun, and assumed
something that was apparently not the real thing going on. It was because I was
two words short of admitting my loving diapers to a good friend. Thoughts and
flashes of him laughing at me, and telling Brian and Daniel, began flooding my
head.
“Man… what could I have done…?” I thought in complete
disbelief.
He looked at it with a small bit of joy, and then exited
the room to go give it to his mother, while I sat there on his bed, completely
motionless. He soon returned soon, without the pacifier, and sat back on the
bed. He seemed a bit overjoyed… and I tried to maintain my normal attitude…
which was incredibly difficult.
“Man… you have no idea… I CAN SLEEP tonight!” he said.
I faked a laugh…
“Yeah man… Ethan like never stopped crying over that thing
disappearing. My mom’s been searching the house up-and-down… don’t know HOW it
ended up in my room… My brother must’ve dropped it in here when my mom was
carrying him through or something” he said.
I nodded in agreement.
“So what’d you think? Think I was suckin’ on it and
stuff?” he asked me, with a bit of a smile. My heart skipped a beat.
I shrugged and smiled and laughed a small bit, all of
which were fake.
“I can only assume something by how it seems” I said uneasily.
He looked at me at me with a bit of a sly smirk. I looked
away feeling completely and utterly embarrassed.
“Nope…” he said.
“It’s my brother’s…” he elaborated further…
I nodded to show I understood.
---
I had exited that house one different person from that of
which I had gone into the house as. Coming back home was an even longer
experience than when I was walking from it. When I was going to Seth’s house, I
was dreaming of something that was truly a great dream: a friend that was like
me, in a way that you’re only lucky, to have a friend like that.
But now I had more things on my mind. The narrowly escaped
encounter with a horrible, ugly mistake I would’ve regretted making for…
probably the remainder of my life as a teenager, and then some. I was only two
words from saying “I – like to wear diapers, too!”
And what if I did? That’s what was filling my mind. I had
pictures, and thoughts, and in a sense: ‘daymares’. I was watching a movie in
my head, where I said it, and he began to laugh at me as he explained to me the
real reason behind his having a pacifier in his room. He would then laugh at me
more, call me a freak, and kick me out of his house with no welcome back.
Then he would call my other best friend, Brian, and tell
him that, and then Brian’s brother Daniel. Then every single day in school, and
often times after, they would all taunt me, and make fun of me, and bring me to
the edge of a mental meltdown as my head practically explodes from the
overwhelming sense of guilt, humiliation, depression, rage, confusion, and
regret. And that’s how it would be, for the next decade. Things would never be
the same.
I was lucky… very, very lucky indeed. I could’ve made such
a fool of myself right then and there. These images of me as someone I never
want to be, which is an anti-social, constantly depressed,
anxious, and enraged teenager, made me feel all-too uneasy.
As much as I tried to convince myself they weren’t real,
and how lucky I was, it didn’t work. I WAS lucky… I might not be that lucky
again.
I had reached the intersection that I would normally walk
down to go to my house… and when I was about to cross the street to go there, I
felt something in me just kind of… aching. I didn’t want to go home yet. So
instead, I walked the other direction across the intersection. I walked for a
small while, contemplating my near-fatal mistake encounter.
I eventually reached a small park, however. It was empty,
not a single soul was around. This felt like the place to be… so I walked
through it a bit, and found a nice, shady tree to think under.
There was a bench under a tree, so as I sat there, and
began to of course further taunt myself over my horrible almost-mistake,
constantly battling over myself in my head. On one hand, I almost made a
terrible mistake. On the other, I was telling myself it was an encounter that I
gladly passed, and shouldn’t worry about it because there isn’t anything to
worry about anymore.
But something was still bothering me, even though the
calm, quiet isolation in the park had calmed me down some. At first I thought
it was over the whole incident… but upon further mental examination, it hit me.
All of those thoughts, dreams, and fantasies of me and my best friend having a
gleeful time in diapers, had come to a shattering end that was so hard to take
I couldn’t breathe.
I felt alone, once again. I felt that dark, disgusting,
wretched sense of being alone slithering its way into my soul like a virus,
seeping its way into me, slowly hollowing me out with the fact that I am completely
by myself on this whole, big deal.
I slowly felt myself getting this weird, sinking
sensation. I felt like I was falling, but I knew for a fact I wasn’t. I mean…
it felt like I was falling at such a fast pace, I couldn’t figure out which way
was up. But incredibly, at the same time, I have never felt so damn grounded in
my life. Things looked, and seemed, so clear that it all made sense. But
strangely, simultaneously, I felt like I was sinking.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t stand the fact that
I was completely alone as a diaper-lover here. But then, my hysteria was slowly
fading… as I caught myself, when I noticed what I was exactly thinking and
doing.
I began to look at myself then and there and see what I
was doing. There I was, sitting all alone on a bench in the park, on a cloudy
day, thinking over and over about how I almost made a horrible mistake, when I
should be thankful that I hadn’t done that mistake. And the whole alone thing…
though it was really bringing me down… looking at myself and seeing how
depressed I was feeling over it all… there was nothing I could do but just tell
myself to get over it.
Being alone as a diaper lover, or teen baby, is a common
thing. It takes years for people to find other friends in person that are the
same like them, some only meet the people they have met online because there
ISNT anyone to meet around them. Maybe I was going to be one of those people…
and as that thought grew in my mind, the depression and confusion, and shock
from the whole situation was beginning to fade. It had been about a half hour
or so that I was sitting there thinking.
And suddenly, I rose up from the bench, suddenly accepting
the fact that I’m alone. As little as I wanted to, I had to. I took a look at
where I really was, as in my location in the town, not the park. I looked at
the street, and noticed something….
I was near the store. I was near that supermarket that I
was already at one today. I suddenly felt the want… the need to have them. I
guess the whole mental war that was going on, and was still partially going on
(I was just more calm about it), made me want to just settle down in my room
with a diaper. I walked from the park and continued walking down the street,
towards where I knew it would take me. And right then, when I had reached
another intersection that would either take me home, or to the store… I felt in
my pocket. And there it was… the money I needed. I was set to go. I was
completely prepared. The money was in my pocket, the backpack was on my back (I
was fortunate to put it on just in the nick of time), and the determination and
motivation was in my head. I was set to go.
So with that thought… I looked away from the path that
would lead me home, and down the path that would lead me to a better place right
now: the store with the diapers that I would take home and use because they are
what I required to be happy again.
“Chapter Thirteen, Thumbs Up for Change”
My heart was racing, and my
veins were burning as if they were pushing fire. I was in that familiar aisle
once again. But this time, I was walking out of it. I was walking out of that
aisle, not empty handed. I was doing it. I tried to not pay attention as I put
the bag of diapers on the counter, waiting for the cashier to ring me up so I
can escape that store and go home, putting this whole anxious situation behind
me.
“That’ll be 14.99” the lady
said to me.
I tried not to look at her face
as I handed her the money. I didn’t want to see the look of confusion or shock
on her face as she was putting my diapers into the bag.
“Thanks…” I spit out as I took
the bag, and put it in my backpack.
She handed me my receipt, and
was I was on my way. And then, it began to sink into me. I did it. I just did
it! I finally bought myself my first bag of diapers that are ALL mine! I slowly
grew a smile as I exited the store, and walked outside…
It was raining when I had come
out of the store, only a little bit though. However, I didn’t care about
getting wet… not like I had a choice anyways. I was too damn happy with myself
all of the sudden, and I mean… I had every right to, too. I was, yes, very
depressed earlier today… but I used that as motivation to conquer a common fear
by many diaper-lovers and teen babies… and now I was bringing home my own,
self-purchased bag of diapers to wear, and use to my heart’s content. I was
definitely satisfied with myself, and with what the day had for me.
It was only a few minutes of me
walking in the rain, before I got home, only a bit damp from the soft rainfall.
I announced that I was home to my mother, and proceeded to my room, very eager.
I shut the door, and locked it,
while simultaneously tossing my backpack onto my bed. I smiled gleefully as I
walked over to my bed, knowing a pack of my own diapers were awaiting me. I
slowly picked my backpack up… and unzipped it, and let the store-bag drop onto
my bed, with a ‘thump’. I reached in, and pulled them out… the diapers, of
course. I didn’t open the bag yet though.
I was busy glaring at the
package… feeling the latex-like material that wrapped the individual diapers
together. I squeezed it a bit, just to assure myself that there really were
diapers inside there.
My passion for them grew every
day. Ever since that day in Brian’s bathroom, that seemed liked years ago (but
was in reality, only several weeks ago), my need for
diapers had grown stronger and stronger. Starting weak at first, with
indescribable feelings and erections that seemed mysterious, but gradually
transitioning to more incredible feelings that seemed all the more mysterious,
yet at the same time… so right. And by now, it wasn’t just about the want to
masturbate. They were more than just something to assist me in getting off…
they seemed like something that has been missing in my life for so long, and I
wasn’t even aware. They seemed like, and felt like; a missing puzzle piece that
I wasn’t aware was lost… but once was there, you can see the whole picture. The
puzzle felt complete, where as before, it only seemed like it was.
Though the origin of these
feelings were unknown… I wasn’t concerned about the source. It was just
strange, because the sheer feeling these gave me… is indescribable. It’s like…
it’s like when I’m in a diaper… something comes over me. A sense of calm,
peace, and comfort, sweeps over me. And these feelings come from inside of me…
deep inside of me. I know they do…
I stopped contemplating, for
the fact that I now had calm in my hands, made me too eager to care anymore. I
tore open the bag, and slowly (quietly) pulled a diaper out. I laid myself onto
my bed, taking my damp rain-covered pants off, and let them drop to the floor.
I then pulled my boxers down, to my knees, so I was now in the changing
position half naked. It got me slightly aroused… I felt myself growing a slight
erection, as expected.
However my intentions were not to masturbate… not yet anyway. I felt the need to really
enjoy my diaper longer. I took a diaper from the package, unfolded it, and slid
it under my butt. I pulled the front over my stomach, and taped it together tightly
around me. It felt secure, and so did I…
I sat up as it crinkled
underneath me. For the first time in a long while I felt great joy… Sure, I’ve
felt happy in the past month, of course. But this was bliss, as wearing a
diaper always was to me.
I stood from the bed, only to
sit down again, only this time in my computer chair. I moved the mouse to
deactivate the screensaver, and was humbly greeted by a few messages left for
me to read. They were by fellow diaper-lovers and teen babies also. There were only
about 3 messages… I added the users that messaged me, and looked for my best
friend online.
---
“Hey” I typed.
“Oh hey man” I saw Lukie reply.
“What’s up man?” I typed.
“Oh same old, same old… you?”
he replied.
“Sittin’
around in a diaper” I typed.
“Oh! You got them finally?” he
typed back.
“Yes,
finally. I got a bit of a burst of… motivation.” I said,
choosing to avoid the complex explanation as to why I got that motivation.
“I see… well. Its good you got
some finally. How’s it feel to be in a didee again?”
he typed.
“Feels good =P” I typed.
“Haha…”
he replied.
“You wet yet?” he asked.
“No, not yet, I just put this
thing on” I explained.
“Oh, I see…” he replied.
“What about you? You wearing at all lately?” I asked.
“Nah… I haven’t had the free
time as of late. Been busy as hell” he typed.
“Yeah? That’s
weird man… why’s everyone so busy? I guess it’s because of the 4th
rolling around soon” I typed.
“Hmmm? What
do you mean?” he asked.
“Oh, I just think it’s weird.
Your busy, my friend Brian and his brother Daniel are busy, etc.” I typed.
“Aye… that is a bit peculiar.
I’ve been doing just random stuff. Mom and Dad have been dragging me all over
the place nonstop, been arranging stuff for the upcoming holiday… I’ve just
been a more outgoing person than usual” he explained.
“Yeah… I can see that…” I said.
“What about you? Hang out with
that Seth kid today?” he asked.
I looked at his text and the
whole day flashed back to me, in an instant. I wasn’t fazed by the whole thing
anymore… I had pretty much gotten over it… to a point. I was yes, still very
disappointed, but now that I was in a diaper and was talking to one like me, I
wasn’t feeling as lonely anymore.
“Yeah, I was with him earlier
today” I admitted.
“Oh? How’d that whole pacifier
thing turn out?” he innocently asked.
“Eh… honestly… pretty
embarrassingly” I admitted.
“Hmmm? Why’s
that?” he asked.
“Well… turns out it wasn’t his
pacifier. It was his brother’s. And since Seth isn’t stupid, he obviously knew
I was thinking it was his. But he was cool about it… either that or I was just
that embarrassed looking. Either way, I felt like a dumbass” I admitted.
“lol… sorry. I just find the way you put the end there
a bit amusing. Well that sucks man; I thought you had a TB friend, too. Sorry
it didn’t turn out that way” he said.
“Yeah… it’s alright. Guess I’ll
just have to deal” I said.
“*nods*” was his reply.
“I wasn’t taking it as well
about an hour ago as I am now” I hinted.
“Hmmm? Why,
what was up?” he asked.
“Oh… nothing was going on. I
guess the immense disappointment and the embarrassment, and the sudden
break-back to being alone here as a TB/DL, made my head go on meltdown status
for a few minutes” I explained.
“Wow. Yeah, I guess that’d
happen” he said.
“MmmmHmmm…”
I replied.
“Well at least you’re diapered
now and happy” he typed.
“Yup” I concurred.
“Hehe…” he typed.
“Happy…
and wet, too!” I typed.
And I wasn’t exactly lying.
Somewhere during our
conversation, I had wet my diaper… well… flooded more like it. I squeezed the
front of my diaper and felt the squishiness of it, and the warmth. I felt my erection making a very quick
return… and this time I felt I couldn’t resist but to take care of it
vigorously.
“Hehe… wet your diaper huh?
When you going to change?” he asked me.
“I might right now actually…
it’s gonna leak” I typed.
I was of course lying, but I
wasn’t going to type “I have a huge erection right now. I am incredibly aroused
and I feel if I don’t masturbate my dick will explode”
“brb” I typed.
“lol, okay” he typed back.
I stood up from my chair, only
to lay myself back down back onto my bed. I felt the outside of my diaper
again… and I could feel bulge from my erection. I slowly, but hard, rubbed the
outside of my wet diaper, which was also rubbing hard against my erection,
feeling pretty damn good.
It was a few minutes before I
couldn’t take it anymore though. I tore the tapes from my diaper, and unfolded
the front down. I gripped my penis and began to slowly pump, but that slow
quickly began to grow in speed. I tried my hardest not to moan or make noises,
since I of course, didn’t want my mom to hear.
The waves of pleasure washed
over me in the forms of a strange heat sensation. It was difficult to explain…
but I’m pretty sure you know exactly what I mean. I stopped for only a minute,
but only so I could spit into the palm of my hand… and then I continued to
masturbate, now more vigorously.
Now I was feeling the waves of
pleasure shoot through my body, the wetness of my spit lubricating my erection
as I was pumping it with a tight grip. I was really feeling… well… horny. But
it was during this time and during this session that I did something I’d have
never imagined myself doing.
We all know when you are in
this much ecstasy, your body and mind craves more. Your mind is only focused on
reaching that orgasm, and will often to do something stupid or unexpected when
you’re… “distracted” like I was now.
As I was masturbating
vigorously with my hand, something compelled me to take my remaining hand, and
take the thumb… and put it in my mouth. Of course I thought of it weird at
first, but I didn’t care. I took my thumb and began sucking on it.
And it continued to, for
another few minutes until I finally began to reach my climax. As my load was
finally shooting out a bit, I began to realize that the thumb in my mouth was
honestly the only thing keeping me from grunting and moaning loud enough for my
mom to hear it a few rooms over.
But after a few moments I
stopped… my ‘session’ was over with, and now I was left there, lying in my bed
with that tingling sensation all over. And as my head began to clear I was left
there wondering why I had my thumb in my mouth.
---
I slowly stopped sucking on it,
and took it out of my mouth with a feeling of confusion. I wasn’t upset; I
wasn’t feeling that guilty feeling like I did when I first masturbated doing
something different… I was just confused.
The crazy part was next… As my
mind kind of reset itself after my after-orgasm-shock went away, and my mind
had cleared… I wanted to continue sucking my thumb. It was calling to me… so I
answered. I took my thumb and placed it back into my mouth, and began sucking…
and an immense sensation came over me like a tidal wave. It wasn’t arousal, of
course. It was comfort. It was an incredible wave of comfort, and a sense of
safety that just came over me like a blanket.
I wanted to keep doing it. This
feeling was like a calling from deep within my mind… that thing that called for
me to wear, and wet my diapers… it was calling for me suck my thumb.
“What does this mean?” I
wondered as I began to more contently suck my thumb.
“I guess this means… I’m…” I
began to think…
“…a teen baby”
---
This was of course no problem.
I have no problems with the teen baby, or the adult baby, community that I’ve
neighbored with as a diaper-lover. But to think I was actually one was just so…
weird. I wouldn’t even think that I was one… the thought of being babied; being
regressed forever… it just seemed unappealing.
But then again, I never really
gave it much thought… and I guess the thumb in my mouth made me kind of blur
the line between being a diaper-lover and a teen baby. I was confused, yes, but
at the same time, so damn calm from this soothing sensation that my thumb was
providing me.
I took my thumb from my mouth,
and slowly sat up. I had things to do; I couldn’t just sit here thinking for an
hour. I had a very wet diaper lying there, and a hand to wash. I looked at my
thumb one last time… but put my hand down and proceeded to clean my room and
myself up after only a moment.
---
“Luke I’ve got a question” I
typed.
“What?” he replied.
“How did you know you were a
teen baby?” I asked.
“Hmmm… good question” he
replied to me.
“Alright… I don’t know how
exactly I knew I was one. It was something that was kind of always there. When
I was about… hmmm… 12, last year, I kind of began to get a bit turned on by
babyish traits and things. It’s difficult to explain. I always wanted to be in
a diaper again and be sucking on a pacifier and things like that. Then
eventually they kind of evolved into a some-what
fetish. But as I began to read about others like myself, and act upon these
feelings (rather than masturbating, I had gone out and bought a pacifier and
things like that), the less they aroused me at times. It’s really hard to
explain man. The feelings always were.” He typed.
“Ah…” I typed.
“Now, it’s not really a fetish
at all. More like a lifestyle. I have a small collection of baby stuff and some
diapers, and whenever my parents aren’t home… well I guess you could say I play
dress-up” he admitted.
“Why is it you asked?” he asked
me.
“…I think I am one” I admitted.
“Oh! Why do you think that?” he
asked.
I explained to him the whole
thumb-sucking thing.
“Ah… I see… that IS kind of a
clue. I don’t know what to tell you. Just if it comforts you, keep acting” he
said.
“Yeah… the more I act on the
feelings, the more things I discover about myself. First it was diaper-wearing,
then diaper-masturbating, then diaper-wetting, now thumb sucking…” I said.
“Heh… I don’t know what to say
man.” He said.
Suddenly there was a ringing
sound coming from next to me. It was the phone and it also pretty much broke me
from my trance you get in when you’re on the computer for too long.
“Oh, hold on. Phone’s ringing”
I typed.
---
“Hello?” I asked, putting the
phone up to my face.
“Hey
“Oh hey man!” I contently said.
“What’s up?” he asked, just as
happily.
“Nothing much at all man… just
been sitting here bored. Where have you two been lately?” I asked.
“Huh? Oh, me and Daniel. We’ve
been places. We’re always going places around this time. My dad takes us
camping in a few places around this time each year” he explained.
“Oh. Yeah, that’s cool I
suppose. I’ve been hanging with Seth for a little while here” I explained.
“Yeah, I was just talking to
him. We just got back a few hours ago from camp” he explained to me.
“I see…” I said.
“But yeah. He was telling me
you and him were talking about coming here for the fourth of July?” he said.
“Yes, he brought it up. How’s
it sound?” I asked.
“Oh it sounds great. I really
don’t think there’ll be any problem with that, either… so if you can get
permission from your mom, I see no problem with that” I heard him tell me.
A smile crept over my face.
“Awesome dude” I said.
“Yeah?” He
said.
“Yeah…” I said back.
“Chapter Fourteen, A Familiar
Melody”
“Hey baby” I heard.
I let out a kind of whimper,
but not one of sadness, as my eyes slowly creaked open. There was sunlight that
was flooding the room, illuminating every corner. I looked up, and there was my
mommy, standing over me with a sweet smile. I smiled back, and she giggled…
She slowly reached for me, and
picked me up effortlessly, out of my crib, and across the room, and finally laid
me down on my changing table.
“Are you wet? You wet your diapee?” she said.
I of course contently giggled
at the silliness of the word diapee. I also of course
knew it was just a saying for diaper.
She took her index finger, and
quickly slipped it down the front of my exposed diaper.
“Yeah you’re wet! You need a
change!” she giggled.
She laid me down (since I was
pretty much in the sitting position before), onto my back. I had gone through
this so many times… she began to open my diaper by tearing the tapes from the
front, and folded it down, exposing me completely.
Then, she began to slowly sing
a song as she reached for a baby wipe and a fresh diaper from the shelve built into the table. She picked my legs up, and
wiped by butt once or twice (I had apparently messed my diaper in my sleep,
too…) and laid my legs back down. Then finally, she wiped the front of my
diaper area, and eventually tossed the used wipes and the used diaper away into
a trashcan.
Then finally, she took the baby
powder and put some into her hand, and she rubbed it all over my diaper-area…
all over my butt and on my front, too. And finally, she took a clean diaper,
lifted my legs up one last time, and put the fresh diaper underneath me. She
pulled the front over, and taped it very securely, leaving me laying there with
her singing me a song, in a fresh diaper, as content as could be.
“I bet you’re hungry huh
I laughed and giggled, as she
picked me up once more. I put my thumb into my mouth and began to suck
contently, as she began to carry me out of my nursery, and into the kitchen…
---
Suddenly everything changed.
The whole situation… my mother holding me so carefully in her arms had faded.
Everything had faded and I was suddenly finding myself in my room (my current
room) with my eyes shut, and a blanket over me. I had been dreaming once again…
that same, yet always-different, dream of me being cared for by my mom, and me
as an infant. It was once again so damn clear and realistic it almost seemed as
though it wasn’t a dream at all.
I opened my eyes, sighed (which
eventually turned into a yawn), stretched and cracked every bone in my body…
same old deal. I laid in my bed for a few more
minutes, before finally sitting up, and letting reality sink in for a few
moments. Finally, I eventually stood up and walked out of my room, and into the
kitchen.
It was daylight… and the clock
on the wall of my kitchen told me it was still pretty early (some time around
9AM). I figured my mom was already at work, so I prepared myself a breakfast
with the dream still stuck into my head.
The visions of my mom standing
over me… her singing that song… that song… that song was so familiar. I heard
it somewhere before. Remembering it brought that feeling I had in the dream,
which was the feeling I got when wearing a diaper and sucking my thumb…
Then it hit me.
It was my mother’s song. It was
my song. It was our song. It was the song she’d sing to me every time she was
changing my diaper, or putting me to sleep… or giving me a bath. It was our
song! She’d sing it, or hum it softly… And now that I heard it… again… it hit a
chord. Suddenly, right there in the kitchen… as I was getting myself some cereal…
I suddenly felt something in my chest just simply got hot, and I felt myself
get tears in my eyes.
I sniffed once… and felt my
eyes swell up with tears. I gasped for air as I gently placed the bowl and
cereal on the table, and then sat down… as I felt myself beginning to gently
cry. Something about the song, the dream… everything… it was all too hard and
something had snapped. And before I knew it, I was sitting at that kitchen
table with my face in my hands, crying unstoppably.
“Why!?” I said
to myself, breathing heavily as tears rolled down my face.
“Why am
I crying!?” I said to myself. I whimpered once, and twice, and
a third time…
It was about five minutes
before I could even begin to settle down. Something deep down in me hurt…
something in me was aching so bad it made me cry hysterically, right there in
my kitchen. My mom’s, and my song was stuck in my
head, that was just continuously striking a nerve that caused so much aching I
couldn’t stop crying.
But the tears eventually, after
a slow transition from hysterical to some-what under control, faded and dried,
and I was left there to eat my cereal completely confused. I felt the ache
still… and suddenly I really, really missed my mom. At that moment, I wanted
nothing more to see her walk through that doorway, pick me up, and continue
singing that song…
But I knew better. I knew the
hard truth that that won’t happen. I was 14 years old, not an infant anymore. I
was a young teenager, not the cute, giddy, and giggly baby I was… I was growing
up. I wasn’t supposed to wear diapers anymore. Sucking my thumb should be
something I’ve gotten long over. And my mom would definitely not sing me our
song anymore… at least not with me in her arms like I wanted.
I miserably ate my breakfast,
and went back into my room. I wanted to put a diaper on, but I was honestly too
miserable at that moment to really put the effort in putting one on. I just sat
down in my computer chair, and went online, ignoring the dark feelings of
depression, misery, and loneliness that were lingering in my mind.
And that’s what I did, all
morning long.
---
I was reading some article on
something, when suddenly my phone rang. It was about 12PM now, so I
automatically assumed it was Brian, or Seth. The feelings of loneliness,
depression, and misery were still present, but only just. I picked up, and
asked who it was.
“Hey
“Oh. Hey man” I replied, with a
kind of austere tone.
“Not much… sitting around with
Seth and Daniel” he said.
“Cool…” I said in a kind of
grave tone.
I was doing automatically, and
honestly didn’t even realize that I was sounding so miserable… but apparently
he did.
“Everything alright
I contemplated for a moment…
“Eh… honestly man… yeah…
everything’s alright but I’m just feeling really shitty…” I admitted, guilty as
charged.
“Oh… how come man?” he asked
me.
I of course wasn’t going to
answer that with the truth. I wasn’t going to say “I miss my mommy” like I
really was…
“Dunno…
bad dreams stuck in my head” I said.
“Oh…” Brian said.
“…Well… you want us to come
over? Maybe we can cheer you up” Brian offered.
I looked around… and the
dismally quiet house I was contained in really made me feel horrible.
“Yeah… yeah that’d be nice” I
admitted.
“Yeah?” Brian
confirmed…
“Yeah man, come on over. Bring
whoever you want, I’ll be here…” I said.
“Alright man, you just hold up.
We’ll be there in a few minutes, okay?” he said.
“Okay…” I said.
And with that, we both hung up
the phone, and now I was once again still feeling depressed. But I had a ray of
hope kind of shining through the darkness, knowing that I had my best friends
in the world coming to visit me to try to cheer me up… I felt touched.
---
It was, just like Brian had
said over the phone, a few minutes before I heard a car stop in front of my
house, and a ring at the doorbell. I more like hovered to the door, and opened
it.
“Hey man” I heard.
I looked up, and there was
Brian, Seth, and Daniel, standing at my door. The car that was in park outside
my house slowly began to accelerate off as they saw that I had answered the
door.
“Come on in” I said, trying to
sound not as depressed as I really was.
They all came in, and as they
all came in, Brian stopped in front of me.
“You alright Ade’?” he asked.
I nodded my head yes, but I
could tell my eyes had a look of uncertainty. He nodded his head, showing off
he wouldn’t take that as a correct answer. He bent his index finger at move (that
signal to follow), and walked towards my room.
I sheepishly followed him,
unsure of what his plans were.
“Oh, uh… you can turn the TV.
My mom’s not home, so you can make yourselves at home” I said as I followed
Brian.
“Alright, thanks” they both
said to me as they sat on my couch, and turned on the TV…
I followed Brian until we were
standing next to my room.
“Am I allowed in?” he asked me.
I thought for a moment… there
were no diapers out in the open…
“Yeah” I said.
He opened the door, and we both
proceeded into my room, and then he shut the door behind him, leaving only
Brian and I alone in my room. I was unsure why he led me here… but I wasn’t
arguing.
“What’s a matter?” he asked me.
I sat down at my computer
chair, and made a hand gesture to Brian, telling him he was allowed to sit wherever.
“I told you man… just had some
dreams that are stuck in my head that are depressing me” I said.
“Dreams huh?” he said.
“Yeah…” I replied.
“You want to tell me about them
or no?” he asked.
I looked at him…
“They’re too difficult to
really explain. Too vague, but just one or two elements in them are really just
beating me up” I lied.
“Oh… okay” he said.
I nodded…
“Well man… I’d really
appreciate if you talked to me about it… I think it’d make you feel better and
it’d make you and I get closer as friends” he said.
I shrugged…
“There’s honestly not much to
explain” I said.
“Okay…” he said.
I could tell he really wanted
to get close with me on the friendly level. I was touched once again. I felt
helpless, even though Brian was there willing to hear anything I was willing to
say to him. But what was I going to say to him? I’m a diaper-lover… or teen
baby… one of them… and those were the kinds of problems I was dealing with.
He simply wouldn’t be able to
help me. He probably would even get freaked out, and leave the room. I mean… I
really wish I could’ve taken him up on his offer to help me… I’d have loved to
tell him everything. The diapers, the thumb sucking, the song, the dream, the
sudden want to see my mom but unable to do it… but it simply was too awkward.
And he certainly said he wasn’t a diaper-lover… so he says… so… it was just a
problem I couldn’t talk to him about.
So
rather than taking him up on his offer to help make me feeling emotionally
better… I just nodded and left it at that.
“Okay” he said understandingly.
“Brian…” I said morbidly.
“I really appreciate you being
here. And I’m not trying to push you away, I really enjoy your efforts… you’ve
taken me to a private spot, one-on-one and tried to have this conversation and
I really, really do thank you for this but… I really can’t explain it right
now. It’s all too complex for me to even understand. But I’ll be fine in a few
hours… just… when this shit stops going on in my head.” I explained.
He shook his head
understandingly.
“So… thanks… there’s nothing to
worry about though…” I assured, standing up, sighing.
“Okay… and really… no need to
thank me
I looked over at him.
“What are friends for?” he
said.
I smiled, and nodded my head,
and opened my door. We both walked out and into the living room, and we both
sat down on the couch, since Daniel was sitting in a chair. We all began to
watch TV… and in short time… I did indeed begin to feel better. Although there
was that depression that though was fading way, was always lingering in the
back of my mind. But I was very fortunate to have my friends over… because they
really did start to make me feel better.
---
“So you’ve been camping all
this time, you two?” Seth asked.
“Yeah, we go every year.” Brian
explained.
“Yeah, my dad has been bringing
Brian and I up to this little portion of land my grandfather owns, since we
were like five” Daniel explained.
“Oh, that’s cool. What do you
three do normally?” I asked.
“Us four… my grandpa comes up
sometimes. We just generally go hiking, camping… fishing and stuff like that.
He has a cabin and stuff” Brian explained.
“Oh that’s cool…” I said.
We were all socializing and
basically being good friends again. It was fun…
“Yeah man… we’ve had some good
times. There’s a lake and stuff that we swim at sometimes” Daniel explained.
I and Seth nodded
understandingly.
“Who knows? Maybe you two can
come along with us if we go up again” Brian said.
“Thanks man, that’ll be fun”
Seth said.
Daniel and Brian nodded.
I took a sip of the Pepsi I had
poured myself a few minutes earlier, as Seth began to talk.
“That’s cool that you two go up
to your cabin with your dad and grandpa like that. I take it you two are pretty
close with them?” Seth said.
“Yeah… we talk a lot during
those times. Kind of builds that general male-to-male bonding thing, you know?”
Brian began…
“Yeah… but I’ve never really
spent a whole lot of time with my dad and I feel I can relate to him a lot”
Seth said.
I sat back in my seat just
listening in on the conversation, not really paying a whole lot attention to
the subject.
“I feel there’s like a weird
sense you need in your life, with you and your dad. I can’t really imagine
living without a father… can’t really imagine what it’d be like, you know?
Having that strange space that your mom just entirely fills” Seth said.
This began to catch my
attention a bit… I of course, was idle in the conversation now… and acted as
though I wasn’t really caring. But I was getting a bit more interested… after all;
I… didn’t have a father. And I’d like to hear where this was going…
“Yeah man… my dad and his dad
really bonded through camping and stuff and I think that’s what my dad’s trying
to build with Brian and me” Daniel explained.
I continued to listen…
“I really can’t imagine what
it’d be like to not have a father…” Brian said.
I felt the need to reveal
myself here, before someone said something bad. I did a fake cough, and they
all looked at me, since I did that kind of fake cough that you could tell was
fake.
“….OH. Dude! I’m so sorry!”
Brian said, looking very sincere and embarrassed, and everyone else said the
same.
“Nah… I don’t really care” I
said.
“Okay… but I really am sorry. I
wasn’t thinking” Seth said.
I shrugged.
“Seriously, don’t worry about
it. I don’t care” I insisted.
“Okay…” they all said.
But the room was silent now.
The once speech-filled room was silent, because of everyone’s embarrassment
because of me. I felt a bit embarrassed for killing it…
“…
“Yeah?” I
asked.
“…I don’t want to seem rude.
And I don’t want to speak about things that may make you feel uncomfortable, or
you may feel isn’t my business… but do you mind if I ask you a question?” he
said sheepishly.
I knew what he was going to
ask…
“You want to know about my
dad?” I asked.
He nodded.
“Brian, dude. That’s fucked”
Daniel said.
“No,
its fine. I don’t really care, like I said. I can talk about
it” I explained.
“My dad… I never really met
him. He lives in my old town, and according to my mom, he left when I was a
still a baby” I explained.
“Oh… that’s horrible” Brian
said.
I shrugged.
“From what I was told, he and
my mother were actually husband and wife of course; it wasn’t like my mom got
knocked up on some one-night stand.” I explained…
“But one day, he just got up
and left. This is what I was told. My mom and my dad had a fight, and then, the
next morning, he was gone. My mom was left to raise a child, me, by herself.” I
explained.
“That’s fucked” I heard Seth
say.
“Yeah… but I’m fine. He still
lives in my old town, and my mom has seen him. She has nothing to say to him.
Neither do I” I explained.
“Well… that’s messed up, but at
least you aren’t that bothered by the whole matter…” Seth said.
I nodded, agreeing with them. Brian
coughed, though…
“Anyway!” he said, insinuating
he wanted to get off of the subject.
---
“So how
about that sleepover at our house?” Brian said, changing the
subject from what it was before.
“Yeah man… I can’t wait for
that” I said.
“The 4th is in two
days” Brian reminded.
“I’m all for it. All I have to
do is ask my mom” I said.
“That’s cool… you think she’ll
let you?” Brian asked.
“I’m absolutely positive she
will” I assured.
“Awesome. This’ll be sweet,
having you two sleepover. We can do all kinds of
stuff! We can go to the park, and watch the fireworks and stuff, then come
home, and maybe watch some movies, or… do dares…”
Brian said.
“Ahhh
yes… the dares” Seth said.
“Those were fun. But I don’t
know why, they just kind of lost their charm” I said.
Brian looked fairly eager to do
them. I looked over at him… as we were discussing the dares for the first time
in a month. He still was interested… and I was almost too, but I mean… even I,
a diaper-lover (and possible teen baby) was getting bored with them – and that
is a reason for concern. But of course… Brian, the
self-proclaimed non-diaper-lover, still wants to do them.
I kind of let a small smirk
carry across my face as I looked at Brian. I mean… It was so damn obvious. It
was so obvious to me he was a diaper-lover… even if he was unaware of it. Then
it occurred to me… maybe he WASN’T aware of it! Maybe Brian, really did enjoy
being in diapers, but was unaware of what a diaper-lover was like I was for the
first few weeks!
This thought had occurred to
me, and I guess I was smirking noticeably because suddenly, Brian pointed it
out.
“What’s up
“Huh? Oh nothing… just
remembered the dares and stuff, since you mentioned them. They were fun…” I
said.
“Yeah… yeah they were pretty
good times. And you’re the one that had the biggest problem with them” Brian
said laughing.
“Hey… I did too” Seth said,
defending me a bit.
“Well, since they got old… I
got a few ideas… I thought of a few things to help make them more exciting or
more difficult” Brian said.
“Oh? What would that be?” I
curiously asked.
He let a devious smile out at
me and the room.
“I ain’t
telling” he said.
This shocked me a bit. I wasn’t
prepared for that response… and now… I was really curious.
“C’mon man” I pried.
“Nope, I ain’t
telling. Its gonna be a surprise” he said with a
devious smile.
As much
as I wanted to know… I at the same time wanted there to be a
surprise. But I wondered… what could he possibly have up his sleeve for the 4th
of July? I was damn curious now… I was fascinated, while at the same time, kind
of nervous to hear what Brian might do to his brother, Seth, and I.
But even though I wanted to
know… I wasn’t going to be stubborn. I was going to let Brian have his little
fun, and I’ll play along.
“Alright” I said with a
confident smile back.
There was a silence in the room
after I had said that… kind of an uncomfortable silence.
“…so how about that fireworks
display!” Seth said, breaking the silence intentionally.
“Yeah, yeah – that fireworks
display at the park, they hold it every year here as you might expect… They got
all kinds of fireworks, ones that go boom… usually ones you have to light… ones
that make some form of an explosion in the sky” Daniel ranted on sarcastically.
“Let me guess, some are
different colors than others?” Seth sarcastically replied with a smile.
“You’re correct young sir.”
Daniel replied just as sarcastically.
We all laughed.
“Nah, for real… what’s going
down with that?” Seth asked.
“Alright… if I’m not mistaken…
we should all drive up, and arrive at like… 8:30, maybe, ‘cus
that gives us an hour before the sun is all the way down. We can do whatever at
the little festival they always have there, then when
the sun is pretty far down, they’ll start shooting stuff off until probably
11PM. Then we can come back to my house, we can do dares or whatever we want…
and basically do whatever till tomorrow” Brian explained.
“Festival
huh?” I intriguingly said.
“Yes. They have all kinds of
stands with games with prizes and stuff” Brian said.
“Yeah… sounds a lot like what
my old town used to do” I said.
“Welp… sounds fun guys” Seth
said.
“Yeah, sounds fun” I agreed.
“Well I don’t know about you
two, or you Daniel… but I’m in the mood for some ice cream. Anyone want to walk
down to the ice-cream shop and get something?” Brian asked.
I felt around in my pocket…
these were the same pants I was wearing yesterday when I went to buy the
diapers. It still had my change in it.
“I’ve got money” I said.
“I brought some” Seth said.
“Yeah… me too” Daniel said,
feeling around in his pocket.
“Alright… so you guys want to
go there then?” Brian confirmed.
“Yeah” we all concurred.
“Sweet… alright, well… let’s go
then!” Brian excitedly said.
It was a much longer trek then originally
planned, or than it was the first time I had gone there, when I was on my bike
with Seth. But, in time, we of course arrived, talking all the way there.
We ate our ice-cream, and
eventually came back to my house. By then, I was all cheered up and was happy.
The depression from earlier that day had vanished, and I was as happy as ever
as I was hanging out with my friends. But of course, they had to leave in time.
It was many hours before they had to leave though, and by the time they did… it
was almost dusk.
---
“Alright, see you guys” I said,
waving them off as Brian and Daniel went into their mom’s car, and Seth was
walking home.
“Cya
Aden” they all said as they left.
I watched all three of them
vanish from my site. The street light all popped on as the sun was low enough,
making what I could see of Seth, a black silhouette in the distance. I smiled
as the day all came into memory, and walked back inside of my house, filled
with hope for the 4th of July.
And as I was thinking of what
the sleepover we’ve planned would be like… what Brian said to me all came back
into memory. About what he said about he has some fresh ideas, and that it’s a
surprise. I was still very curious… but as I wondered, with this time and
silence to myself… I became more and more curious, as ideas flooded my mind.
I wondered what it could
possibly be. Was it something to do with diapers? If so… what could possibly be
so much more different then the ones we were already doing? But then again…
maybe they had nothing to do with diapers at all. Maybe it was something
completely new… something totally fresh. My attempts to bring those to mind
were going no where.
I shrugged it off. I knew it
was inevitable and my trying to break Brian’s surprise was getting me no where.
So instead… I just kind of laid
there, thinking of random things.
“Man… Brian, Daniel, and Seth
are such good friends” I thought.
“I mean… they came all the way
over here just to cheer me up…” I remembered.
“I can’t wait for Monday…” I
said to myself. Monday, was the Fourth of July.
“Chapter Fifteen (Part I), The
Night of Anticipation (Getting the Goods) “
“Happy 4th of July”
I read.
“Hey thanks Luke, you too” I
typed.
That had been the first happy 4th
I had received all day… however the all day part was only about five minutes
long. I had just woke up, (about five minutes ago). My
day had just begun… And it was finally the 4th of July.
“What’ve you got planned for
tonight?” I read.
“Oh you know… The sleepover at
Brian’s and Daniel’s with Seth is bound to be fun as hell” I explained.
“Ah yes… any other plans, maybe
you and your mom doing something?” Luke typed to me.
I thought for a moment…
“She and I are supposed to go
to the park for a bit and watch the fireworks display. That’s when I’m getting
picked up by Brian’s mom” I explained.
“Oh, that’s cool” I read.
“So you’re going to go there,
watch and hang out with your mom for a bit… then after words just go to Brian’s
house?” he checked.
“Yes” I confirmed.
“That’s cool…” he said.
“So what are YOU going to be
doing tonight?” I asked him.
“Oh nothing much… My family is
coming over and we’re going to have a barbeque… We will be able to see the
fireworks from our backyard like we’re actually there. I guess we technically
actually are there in person… considering the baseball field they are shooting
them from is only a block away” he explained.
“lol yeah” I typed.
“You have any baby plans for
tonight?” I asked.
“Hmmm…” I read.
“Well… I might not have any
time.” I read.
“Oh” I said.
“Yeah… If I could I would” I
saw him reply.
“Heh”
I typed.
“Speaking of babyish things and
such… how’s that whole situation you’ve been dealing with, thinking you might
be a teen baby?” I saw him say.
“Hmmm… it’s been like three
days since then… I’ve gotten on this strong thumb sucking kick” I replied.
“Oh? Widdle
Baby Aden a thumbthucker?” I read.
This made me blush a bit… I
wasn’t used to being babyishly talked to… and certainly wasn’t used to being
called Baby
“Hehe…
I suppose so” I typed.
“You should get a pacifier or
something. Those things rock” I saw Luke type to me.
“Hmmm… I never actually ever
thought about buying one” I said.
“Oh they are very nice… I love
my pacifier.” Luke typed back to me.
“I dunno
man… I’m too used to just worrying about buying diapers for myself. If I have
teen baby feelings… it kind of complicates things. I already have problems
buying diapers, hiding them, disposing of them unnoticeably…” I ranted.
“Well man, you don’t need to
buy anything babyish to be babyish. I went a little while at first when I was
absorbing what I was without sucking on a pacifier. I just decided to buy one
at one point” he replied.
“*nods*” I typed.
“But um… yeah. I have to go for
now. My mom is yelling at me for being on the computer” he typed to me.
“Oh, okay” I replied.
“Later man” he said.
And with that, he logged off.
It was just me in my haggard and groggy state of mind. All of my senses were
still waking up, but by now, they were more awake then not, since I had been
talking with Luke online for a little while.
I stood up, stretched, cracked
some joints, and continued out of my room. I slowly, almost zombie-like, walked
through the halls and into my kitchen.
“Hi
“Hey mom…” I said as I hovered
over to the kitchen table.
“You want some breakfast?” she
asked me as I sat down lazily into my chair.
“Sure” I said as I rested my
head on the table.
“Okay
I moaned something that even I
didn’t know what I said. She chuckled and I heard some dishes clanging, I heard
the fridge opening and shutting, the sound of cereal pouring into a bowl, and
some pouring, clanging (the sound of a spoon hitting the side of a bowl), and
finally, the sound of a fridge door opening and shutting again. Then finally,
the bowl of cereal was placed right in front of me. I looked up.
“Mmmm…
Cinnamon Toast Crunch.” I thought.
“Thanks” I said.
“No problem
She walked away from me, but
not out of the room. She remained and continued to do the dishes like she was
doing originally when I had entered the room.
I stuck a spoonful of the sugar
coated, artificially cinnamon flavored, one inch by one inch squares of tasty
deliciousness into my mouth, wondering what my future held for me for the day
to come.
“So are you excited for the
sleepover tonight?” my mom asked me.
“Sure am” I said.
“What are you guys going to do
tonight?” she asked.
“Oh you know… sit back, watch
movies and stuff. I haven’t seen Brian or Daniel in a while, they’ve been
camping with their dad” I explained.
“That sounds fun” she replied.
I of course could not tell her
what was really on the night’s agenda, for two reasons. One is common sense… I
of course wasn’t going to tell her that I was going to run around in diapers
(maybe). And the second was… even if I wanted to tell her… I still didn’t know
what Brian’s plans were for us for tonight.
---
I ate my cereal, and drank the
milk, too, in about ten minutes. My mom and I talked about a few things in the
meantime, but I eventually retreated to my room, as usual. I sat down on my
computer, and went onto the forums I normally visited every day, to check up on
any recent posts.
There was the expected ‘Happy
Fourth of July!!!’ post. I replied to that, and replied to a few others of
interest. Nothing out of the ordinary…
But suddenly, right when I had hit the ‘X (close)’ button on my browser,
my phone began to ring.
I coughed, and cleared my
throat, reached over, and picked it up…
“Hello?” I asked.
“Hey
“Oh hey man” I said.
“What are you up to?” I heard.
“Not much… woke up like a
half-hour ago” I said.
“Ha-ha… I’ve been up. Daniel
and I woke up bright and early as usual.” I heard.
“Hey, I’ve got a question” I
heard.
“Sure, what’s up?” I heard.
“Daniel and I are going to go
to the store. I just called Seth; he said he’s down for meeting us there. You
want to come along?” I heard.
“Sure” I said.
“Awesome. Just get dressed and
start walking or ride your bike or whatever. We’ll be there” I heard.
“Alright” I said.
“Is your mom dropping you off?”
I asked.
“Hah… no… we’re going to go
down there to buy diapers” I heard. There was, of course, a moment of silence
before he said diapers. But the word instantly felt like someone punched me in
my heart to make it stop, for a second.
“…oh?” I said
with a tone of interest.
“Yeah… for some reason… my
stash is clean. All out… some of them seemed like they just up and disappeared
into thin air.” I heard.
This made my heart REALLY stop
beating for a second. He of course was making a reference to the diapers I had
stolen off of him several weeks ago.
“Ha-ha… that’s funny… and
weird, too” I said.
“Yeah… you wouldn’t know
anything about them?” I heard.
My heart once again skipped a
beat. Did he know!? How did he!? I mustn’t have been
quiet enough. Someone must have been awake when I did… my mind was racing.
I coughed unintentionally
before spitting out my next sentence.
“O-Of course n-not!” I said
uneasily.
“Ha-ha…
just messing with you
My heart relaxed.
“Eh… heh…
yeah… I um… I knew that” I said.
“Uh huh… get over to the store.
Meet up with Seth and then wait for us. We’ll be there. Alright?”
I heard.
“Alright” I said.
“Okay, later” Brian said.
“Later” I responded.
I hung up the phone after
hearing his hang up. I took a breath of relief after that was over with, and
looked over at my closet and dresser. Time to get dressed…
---
“So how you been?” I heard, as
I was walking down the street.
It was only Seth and I as we
walked towards the store, to meet Brian and Daniel. It was a warm day. Not hot,
like it had been for the last few weeks. Today was a surprisingly simply warm
day. The temperature must’ve been only 60 to 70 degrees, with a nice breeze.
The sky was so clear of any clouds; all you could see was the endless blue
above you…
“I’ve been alright” I said.
“Man it’s a beautiful day out
here” I said.
“You’re telling me” he replied.
“I haven’t seen a beautiful day
like this since at least spring” he said.
“I know…” I said.
There was a bit of silence
then…
“So what do you think Brian has
in store for us tonight?” he asked me.
“No idea… but it involves
diapers, once again” I reminded.
“Yeah…” he remembered.
“Ever notice that Brian is
always into diapers?” I was asked.
“Huh?” I responded.
“He’s always eager to put a
diaper on” Seth said.
I looked at Seth with a look of
consideration, but in my mind, I was thinking what I could possibly do to
defend Brian in this situation. Seth was apparently not a diaper-lover, or teen
baby, but rather, a normal teenage boy like I was before I came here.
“Well… he says he just wants to
do dares” I said.
He looked back at me…
“Yeah but doesn’t it seem a bit
strange that he is always thinking of something to do with diapers? Not like
normal dares… like, Hey, I dare you to ring this dude’s doorbell and run, or
anything. Seems a tad strange” Seth said.
“Well… I don’t know man… I
mean… Brian’s a strange kid in the first place” I said.
Seth stopped for a moment and
kind of looked into oblivion (an obvious sign that I had just made something
click in his head).
“You know that’s true” Seth
said, continuing his walk with me down to the store.
“Yeah… Brian’s
just Brian. Besides… it doesn’t matter if he… say…
enjoyed to wear diapers, anyway, right?” I said.
“I guess not… I was just
wondering if you noticed the giddiness in him when a dare is going to happen”
Seth explained.
I looked at Seth…
“…yeah I kind of did but… it
doesn’t really matter to me” I said.
There was a bit of silence
after I said that, but we both kept walking down towards the store.
“So I wonder what he has in
store for us tonight” Seth said, bringing up the previous topic of before…
---
We talked on our way down to
the store, but in what seemed like only a few moments, we were standing in
front of the entrance, waiting for Brian and Daniel to come walking from their
direction of town, up to us.
“Hey guys!” we heard only a few
minutes after.
I looked at Seth and Seth
looked at me.
“Where the hell is he?” Seth
asked me with a confused face, but was laughing.
We looked around, and
eventually saw Brian and Daniel too, standing a great distance from us, waiting
to cross the street. He was wearing his backpack, indicating that he was ready.
Seth signaled him to come on
over, and in only a few minutes, he was standing right next to us.
“Alright…” he said, with a tone
of voice like he was the commander of some top secret mission that was breaking
international laws… or in other words, a serious tone.
“We’re just gonna
go in, get some, then we can go to like the club house or something. How’s that
sound?” Brian said.
We all nodded.
“Alright, let’s go” he said.
We walked into the store, which
was very nice and cool. The temperature outside was hot considered to the
air-conditioning that was going on in the store. We didn’t really say anything
to each other, and personally… my heart was beating kind of strong. I felt
nervous for no reason… I guess it was the diaper-loving side of me wigging out
like it did when I heard or saw anything pertaining to diapers.
But I held up. We calmly walked
through the aisles, and eventually, through the baby’s and medical aisle, where
there were baby’s products, diapers, and other things, as far as the eye could
see. We calmly walked by, and without any hesitation in our walking, Brian
snagged the first pack of the diapers we could wear.
I glanced over as we were
walking… it was a pack of diapers alright. The same kind I had, as a matter of
fact. Which was non-coincidently, the same kind I first wore when I was at
Brian’s and Daniel’s house that one night.
We still didn’t speak to each
other. As a matter of fact… we didn’t even look at each other. We just quietly,
calmly placed the bag of diapers onto the counter. We all looked different ways
as we heard the cashier ring the diapers up, bag them, and rip the receipt from
the receipt-printer-thingy.
“14.99 please” the cashier
said.
Brian walked over, handed her
the cash, and we all left the store.
---
“Holy shit” Seth said,
laughing.
There was a huge tension break
in the atmosphere… you could literally feel everyone just instantly calm down
as we made it outside.
“SWEET” Brian yelled eagerly… a
bit too eagerly.
I looked over at him with a
face of suspicion, accidentally.
“…what? Sweet… sweet we have
um… erm… something… yeah… Sweet for having something
to do tonight” Brian said, clearing his throat a few times.
I shrugged non-caringly. He
faced the ground and cleared his throat again.
“Man… that was fun. It felt
like everyone was watching us like “Hey, why’s there a group of teenage boys
buying teen diapers?”” Seth said, laughing.
“They probably were…” Daniel
said, in a bare tone.
“Okay, so what are we going to
do now?” I said.
“Club
house?” Brian suggested.
“Alright… that sounds good to
me” Seth said. Daniel concurred, non-caringly. And I of course, didn’t care.
So to the club house, we went.
“Chapter Fifteen (Part II), The
Night of Anticipation (Just Watch the Fireworks…) “
Now… we did, indeed go to the clubhouse. But we did not
spend much time there… soon, we had to all go back to our homes. We had to
pack… and eat… and do all kinds of things, before we were finally going to have
the night to ourselves.
---
“Come on
I hastily went through everything in my room. I opened my
dresser, and was digging through a few drawers, picking some extra pairs of
pants to bring with me. After that, I dug through my closet, and carelessly
tossed some shirts onto the floor, not caring for them, just getting them out
of the way of the few shirts I wanted to bring with me.
I looked around, and after getting everything into my
backpack… took a breath. I wondered if I had everything I needed… everything
I’d need for the night, that we’d be doing dares.
“Hmmm… our dares… obviously involved diapers…” I thought
to myself.
“Should I bring my own?” I wondered.
“Come on
I sighed, and hastily dug into my hiding spot, as well…
picking up three extra diapers to bring along with me, just for the hell of it.
“Okay mom, I’ll be there in a minute” I yelled back.
I was unsure of my decision to pick them up. I actually
really didn’t even think about it… I had made sure to stuff them into the very
bottom of my backpack, to make sure no one saw them.
I zipped my bag and left my room, and walked into the
living room. My mom was sitting on the couch’s arm, waiting for me.
“All ready to go?” she asked me.
“Yes” I confirmed.
“Okay, let’s go then” she said.
We both stepped out of the house… My mom reached into the house,
and turned the living room light off. She shut the door, and locked it from the
outside using her key and we were then on our way.
We walked to our car, and we got in. She turned the car
on, pulled out, and we began to drive down the street.
“Okay
I cleared my throat and began to direct us in the proper
directions through the streets.
“Make a left here” I said.
If I wasn’t mistaken… it was going to be the same park I
was at the other day (when I was having a breakdown). So, I was taking us
there.
And fortunately, I was correct. We turned the corner and
all of the sudden, there were hundreds of people, walking through thin aisles
between ticket booths, game booths, food stands, whatever booths… It really did
seem quite… festive.
“Oh… well… I guess we’re here!” my mom said. We drove for
a minute, found a parking space, and got out of the car.
We walked through the area for a bit. It was still day
light, though the sun was setting. We still had an hour or two to go before we
had to find Brian, Daniel, and Seth.
Though… it wasn’t going to take that long to find them…
though this place was a fairly crowded area at the moment, it wasn’t that big.
So finding Brian, Seth, and Daniel wasn’t going to be very hard.
My mom and I went to the ticket booth, and bought some
tickets for the games and such, and began to walk around, playing random games.
“Hey
---
I spun around at the mention of my name, to see who it
was. The people around us made it difficult to tell…
But I spun around and saw Seth, his dad, and his mom,
holding Ethan’s hand.
“Hey Seth” I said, waving.
“What’s happenin’” he said,
adjusting his hat a bit so that it was pointing a bit in a diagonal direction.
“Not much man… where’s Brian at, do you know?” I asked.
“I’ve got no idea actually.” He said.
“Any idea on how we could find them?” I asked.
“Uhhh… actually… no” Seth said.
We both chuckled a bit…
“We should go look for them – they’re definitely here by
now.” Seth said.
I felt a bit confused…
“How do you know?” I asked.
He looked at me and laughed…
“There’s their car” he said, pointing behind me.
I turned around, and Seth wasn’t lying. Behind me, in
parking-lot in the distance, was the car Brian and Daniel have driven up to my
house in a few times. It was parked, all lights were off and all seats were
empty. They were here… but where?
I looked around but there was no sign of them.
“Mom, do you mind if we go to look for Brian and Daniel?”
I asked my mom.
She smiled…
“Go ahead” she said.
“Alright, let’s go” Seth said, after gaining acceptance
from his parents as well.
Seth and I separated from our parents, and continued
through the whole area by ourselves.
---
We searched the area about twice in total… but we didn’t
see them. It was really actually difficult to, considering how Seth and I were
only about 13. We were short and small, and we couldn’t really see through most
of the other people that were there. But on our third patrol… we got kind of
lucky.
“MAN” I said out of a bit of frustration.
“Where the hell could they be?” I
said.
Seth looked over at me, as we were walking by the ticket
booth.
“Chill man… they’re somewhere around here” Seth assured
me.
I wasn’t really upset… I was just impatient, which is what
I explained to him. He nodded his head and sighed a bit… and he looked at me…
“You want to get something to drink?” he asked me.
“I’d love to… but I don’t have money” I explained.
He made a face of kind of disgust, or annoyance and
irritation, and looked into the distance at nothing in particular…
“What!?” I asked, completely confused.
Suddenly he started laughing…
“Man I was going to pay!” he said, laughing at my
reaction.
“Oh! You dick… you should have just said that” I said,
laughing along with him now.
He took a breath from laughing… “Come on man, let’s go” he
said.
We both had cheesy smirks on our faces as we were
laughing, walking to the refreshment booth that was only a few steps away from
where we originally were.
“I’ll have uh… Pepsi!” I said
eagerly, to the person that was handling the booth.
“Alright” the man said.
“And what about you?” the man asked Seth.
“Coke” he said.
“Alright, no problem. What sizes?” he asked us.
I thought for a minute… “I don’t know - whatever he wants
to buy me. He’s buying” I said.
Seth smiled… “Large” he said.
It was only a few moments before we were both holding
large sodas in our hands. Seth handed him the money and we were back on our
way.
“Thanks a lot Seth” I said.
He looked at me and had a friendly smile on his face. “No
problem
I looked at him and he looked at me for a few seconds…
“GUYS!” we both heard. It sounded like Brian.
We looked around and suddenly we found them. Brian and
Daniel, standing a few feet from us…
“Where have you been!?” we heard Brian say, chuckling a
bit.
We all started laughing a bit… with the exception of
Daniel of course. But Brian, Seth, and I, were all laughing.
“Dude, we’ve been looking for you for the last like… 15
minutes” I explained.
“Same here” Brian said.
“Alright… so we’re here now. Now what?”
Seth asked, adjusting his hat, making sure it’s
crooked to the side, like he normally had it.
“Do you listen to rap, Seth?” I asked, because of the way
he was adjusting his hat… it was a lot like what most people who listen to
hip-hop and rap wore theirs.
He looked at me with a very suspicious smirk.
“Maybe” he said smugly.
I couldn’t help but ask…
“Is that a problem?” he asked, sarcastically.
I just shrugged.
“Not to me!” I replied, smiling.
But suddenly I heard Brian clearing his throat, in that
kind of “notice me” way. We all looked at him.
“We should go find our parents and get ready to watch the
fireworks display” Brian explained.
“Yeah… that sounds good” I said. We all nodded and then
started walking back to find our parents…
---
“We found them mom” I said to my mother.
It was only a few minutes to find our parents again… most
of that time was because of the amount of people there was to push through.
“Oh! Great” she said, smiling at me.
She was standing with Brian’s parents, and Seth’s parents,
assumingly conversing with them.
“Lets find a good spot” Brian’s mom said.
“That sounds like a good idea” my mom concurred with her.
“C’mon
We all began moving through the dense crowd of people, but
as there became more room in the field we were going through, the crowd became
more scattered. We had moved from the thin-paths between booths, to a wide open
field.
It was a pretty big, flat, open area… which kind of made
me wonder what exactly it was supposed to be for.
“Hey Brian” I asked.
“Yeah?” he responded.
“What’s this field for?” I asked.
“It’s a soccer court” he said.
“Oh!” I said… I realized quickly that he was right. At
both ends of the field were soccer goals.
“Yeah… this is the soccer court that we play home games
on. That’s about all the action this field sees when it comes to soccer though.
Usually it’s some kids tossing a football or something” Daniel explained.
“Oh, cool… thanks” I said to both of them.
“So… what are we doing?” Seth asked.
“Everyone sits in the field and watches the fireworks,
which are launched from the baseball field over there” Brian said, pointing
towards a small patch of trees.
“Well… you can’t really see it from here. The woods are in
the way. But on the other side there’s a baseball field.” Brian continued.
“Oh, okay. Thanks” Seth said.
We walked for a few minutes, and eventually all sat down.
We were pretty close to the woods (for a better view I’d assume). This was
great timing, too. It was beginning to get dark. Actually… beginning to, is an
understatement. I guess you could say it WAS dark. Everything had a dark blue
tone to it, and the sun was no where in site. It was pretty much dark enough
for them to begin a fireworks display.
“This is where we sit every year” Brian explained to me.
“Cool” I responded.
“Yeah… you get a real, real good view from here. You’re
practically underneath them” he added.
I guess I started
growing a small smirk… and began staring into nothingness once more. The whole
atmosphere was really getting to me. This was awesome. This was really, really
fun! I mean… the BIG picture was sinking into me again… a feeling like this
hadn’t come to me in a while. I wasn’t talking about diapers. I was talking
about friends. This was the most comfortable, homely feeling I’ve had since…
well, was home in my old town, with my old friends, in my old house.
I was sitting here with three friends I never thought I
would have. When I first moved here, I was nervous. I didn’t want to leave my
old friends, go to a new school or wake up in a new house. But moments like
this really made me appreciate feeling at home again. The only other time I
really felt this way was… me and Brian, in the club house, that one night that
seemed so long ago. I guess when I was moving here I expected everything to be
over for me… everything to be completely different, and for me to never have friends
again.
This was all sinking in again… My mom was talking and
conversing with Brian’s and Seth’s parents… I was having a good time with Brian
and Seth and Daniel… I felt like I belonged here for the first time… in a long
time. But suddenly, something broke my attention.
“
“Huh? What?” I asked, coming out of my trance.
Seth and Brian started chuckling a bit.
“You ready for tonight?” he asked me with a devilish grin.
“I believe so, yes” I admitted.
“Good… because we’re gonna have
a good time. I’ve been thinking of stuff… writing them down,
and stuff” Brian admitted.
“Hmm… you sure did go through a lot for us huh?” I said.
“Yup yup” Brian said with a smile.
I stared at Brian for a second. He was about to say
something else to add onto his conversation. But right when he did… right when
his mouth opened, all I heard was ‘FWOOM!’ The sound was followed by a huge
light that launched into the sky. It looked like a little stream of light that
appeared from behind the trees. It shot straight up, and then suddenly,
EXPLODED into a beautiful display of colors, lights, and sounds.
The fireworks display had begun. Everyone around me began
applauding and without much hesitation, the next firework rocket was shot off, and
once again exploded into yet another beautiful display.
“Chapter Fifteen (Part III), The
Night of Anticipation (A Bond Pulled Stronger) “
There was a roar of applause. My ears were ringing and
when I shut my eyes, there were flashes of mid-air explosions and lights caught
in my mind’s eye. The fireworks display was over in about 45 minutes… maybe an
hour. Everyone was standing up and began talking again.
“Well, I guess I’m gonna let you
go now
I laughed.
“You have a good time at Brian’s house. Call me if you
need me, okay?” she asked.
“Okay mom” I said reassuringly.
She came towards me and gave a hug, and let me go.
“I should be around to call you around… 12PM?” my mom
asked.
“Okay” I nodded understandingly.
“Nice to meet you!” my mom said to Seth’s parents – she
had already met Brian’s parents the first time I slept over at their house.
I looked over and saw Seth’s parents doing the same thing
with Seth.
“Nice to meet you too!” they responded to my mom.
And that was that. My mom and I waved each other off, as
did Seth’s parents with Seth. We were both left with Brian, Daniel, and their
parents.
“Okay guys, let’s get to the car and then we’ll order a
pizza. How’s that sound?” Brian’s dad said.
“Yeah that sounds good!” Seth said.
We all pushed ourselves through the crowd of people; all
were trying to get to the same destination (the parking lot). But we were
successful and eventually got the car that Seth and I had seen only an hour and
a half ago.
“Buckle up” Brian’s mom said to us as we all packed into
the backseat – and we complied.
---
“Okay guys, c’mon!” I heard Brian say as we all walked in
through the front door of Brian’s house.
He rushed upstairs, but we walked… since no one had as
much spare energy as he did apparently. By the time we got upstairs and into
the room, Brian had already taken his book bag from earlier today and put it
next to him. I walked into the room, and Seth shut the door behind me (since he
was the last one to come in).
“Lock it” Brian whispered to us.
I turned around to do that… but Seth was still in front of
the door so he beat me to it. He pressed a little button next to the doorknob,
which made a loud ‘click’ sound, indicating it was locked.
“What’s up Brian” Seth said.
He really did know what was up. He was just getting things
going.
“Okay… things can’t really start up until later on
tonight, after my parents go to bed. But until then… I
thought of something that might be funny” Brian explained.
“What’s that” I asked.
“Put a diaper on. Wear them underneath your pants until we
get ready to go to the clubhouse” Brian said with a smirk.
My heart leapt. I suddenly got a huge wave of anxiety as
we began to go over things very similar to that of a few diaper-lover stories I
had read on a few of the sites I visit online. It was almost… cliché. But I
ignored it. I was happy and excited. I was also not stupid… because every time
Brian opened his mouth, I knew he was a diaper-lover. Signs were coming to me…
“Okay… so you want us… to put one of these on, through
dinner and stuff?” I asked.
He nodded his head vigorously.
“Well actually, wait. All of us are easier. How about only
one of us puts one on, and if you chicken out… like, you have to take it off
for whatever reason, until… we’re all up and ready to go to the clubhouse –
then you have to do some really, really hard or messed up dare” Brian said,
making a last minute revision.
Signs for me were still triggering in my head. What kind
of messed up dare could there be?
“That sounds… interesting” Seth said.
“Okay, so how do we know who goes for the whole
diaper-wearing thing all through tonight?” I asked.
Brian looked at me and looked at Seth, and looked at
Daniel, too. But Daniel shook his head, like “Nope”, so I guess it was down to
Brian, Seth, or me.
“Rock, papers, scissors” Brian said.
“Alright… fine. Sounds fair and reasonable” I said.
All three of us stuck our hands, as the tension began to
build up a bit for me. I mean… I could end up in a diaper again, which I would
love. But in front of Brian’s parents and stuff, and trying to keep it a
secret… that’d be the challenge.
“Go!” Brian yelled.
We all tossed our figures in. I looked over at what Brian
was firstly. Scissors. And then, I looked over at
Seth. Paper. I looked down at my hand. It was paper.
Brian won the first round, and got out.
“Tie-breaker” Brian said.
It was down to me and Seth.
Brian walked out of the circle with a cheesy, devilish
grin, as he stood back to spectate. The pressure was back up for me again. I
kind of got anxious again. I began to think of various scenarios. What if
Brian’s parents found out I was wearing a diaper? I’d be humiliated. I’d have
to tell them I had some problem or something… and they’d have that idea in my
head.
As I set my hand in, I began to think of one more thing, something that kind of frightened me. I’m definitely
not one to back down from a challenge, so if I lost, I would definitely do it.
I have of course no problems wearing diapers, but then something occurred to
me. I wasn’t allowed to take it off. What if I had to go to the bathroom? I
wasn’t going to do it in front of them!
“Go!” Seth said.
I shut my eyes and did the first hand figure I could think
of, and then, opened my eyes, to Seth’s hand.
“Scissors” I thought.
I looked down at my hand.
“Rock” I thought. I had won.
I took a sigh of relief as I confirmed that I had won… now
Seth had to do it, and not me. I wasn’t ready yet. Something inside of me was
nervous. Suddenly the silence in the room was broken by Brian’s laughter. I
looked over and saw him chuckling a bit. He picked up the backpack, and then
tossed it over to Seth… who didn’t look exactly 100 percent thrilled. But not
upset, either: the usual Seth look, which was pretty much “Oh well, whatever”.
Seth caught the backpack in his arms, and shrugged.
“So now what” he said.
“Go put one on in the bathroom” Brian explained.
“Alright” Seth said, accepting his fate. He walked out of
the room, shutting the door behind him, leaving Brian, myself, and Daniel in
the room.
Daniel was on the top bunk as usual, pretty much doing
nothing but hovering, so to speak. He was just kind of watching, not saying a
word… like he always did. Those kinds of people intrigue me. They usually are
an interesting person. And even if they aren’t, I still am left wondering
exactly why they’re just standing there doing nothing.
Daniel often did a whole lot of nothing. He’s always with
Brian though… with kind of a blank expression on his face. His eyes showed
really no expression, either. He was pretty stone-faced, like he was constantly
in some seriously deep thought. I mean… I did a lot of deep thinking but I
usually at least show some form of emotion. He looked like he really didn’t
care about anything, in the slightest.
I wouldn’t mess with him though. Definitely
not. His blank expression was actually fairly intimidating… so was his
stature. He was a bit over the athletic side. He looked like he did sports a
lot… He wasn’t any football player; he wasn’t big like that at all. But he
definitely looked like he worked out often.
Daniel was a good kid though. He just seemed like he
wanted to do other things. He was a bit older than any of us (a year older than
Brian) – so maybe that had something to do with it.
I didn’t want to stare at Daniel, so I instead, moved on
to Brian, who was sitting on the floor, in front of the TV. My suspicions were
increased now. I mean… I knew he said he wasn’t, but I guess it was the
diaper-lover in me telling me otherwise.
That whole situation just totally blew my mind… I mean…
I’ve been into the whole TB/DL scene for a little while now, and I’ve read
quite a few stories, some true, some fiction. And I
guess… I guess since then my mind has been acquainted with the obvious signs. I
mean… it was so obvious now. But I kept my mouth shut. I wasn’t going to say
anything. Not now… and maybe not for a while.
I couldn’t go through another disappointment like I did
with Brian the first time, or Seth. That… and I don’t want to raise suspicion.
But then I remembered the conversation Seth and I briefly had today… when Seth
brought up the whole “Brian being ecstatic about diapers” thing.
But before I could give it anymore thought, I suddenly
heard the doorknob turn, click, and then, saw the door open. It was Seth. He
was wearing his backpack, rather than holding it, and was walking with a kind
of noticeable waddle. And there was an ever-present slight crinkle each time he
stepped. It wasn’t really going to be noticeable unless you’re looking or
expecting it though… which was the case.
He still had that “whatever” thing going for him, wearing
his hat crooked to the side and the blank expression in his eyes, with a faint
smile. It wasn’t really a SMILE. It was more of a smirk, actually. But it was a
smirk you could tell was unintentionally given. Seth had it a lot… like a lot
of people around this town did. It was a smirk of ever-happiness.
It wasn’t a smirk like “I’m so happy to be wearing a
diaper!” – it was more a diaper of “Wow, I’m really
silly right now”.
You know… like, when you’re depressed a lot, you’ve got
that look of depression in your eyes. Your mouth kind of always frowns
automatically, just in the slightest. Seth and a lot of other people here had
that happiness smirk, conceived from being happy a lot. I wondered if I had it,
too.
“You wearing it?” Brian said with
a smirk.
“Yup” Seth said.
I examined Seth. I was looking for the signs that he was
wearing a diaper. I mean, I knew for a fact he was. But I needed to know if all
of those things you read in the stories online were true. There was a slight waddle.
A faint crinkle, but not one that sounded like a plastic bag.
I looked at his pants… though, I didn’t really want to. I felt kind of strange
examining my friend’s crotch and ass area without his knowing… I felt kind of
perverted, even though he was only a few months around my age.
There was a bulge. Not an immense bulge and probably not
one you’d notice immediately unless you’re looking for it, but it was there. He
had no curves in his butt area… it kind of got flat. Same with the front, it
stuck out a bit further than normal.
“You think you can manage?” Brian said.
“Sure” he said.
“Hey guys! The pizza will be here in about forty-five
minutes, okay?” we all suddenly heard coming from downstairs.
“Okay mom!” Brian yelled back.
“So what are we going to do?” I asked.
“Hmmm… well… let me think” Brian said, stretching a bit.
“We could uh… play Playstation 2
until the pizza gets here. A bit after that my mom should be sending us to bed.
Then around… 1:30 or so, or whenever, we can sneak out to the club house for a
few hours” Brian explained.
“Yeah… yeah that sounds about right” I agreed.
“Well alright then – who wants to
get rocked first by me at something then!?” Brian said sarcastically.
“I call the sticks” Seth said.
“Me too” Brian said.
They were pretty much using another term for “I get to go
first”. Those two shuffled over to the TV. Daniel was still up in his bunk and
I was still sitting on the floor… though I got closer to them to let them know
I wanted in next.
“I play winner” I called.
“Alright…” they said.
---
“Dude you’re so done” I taunted as I grabbed the
controller.
Seth had lost the last battle, and it had been about 45
minutes since we started playing. We were just rotating…
“Yeah right man… you see that score? You see that 17-8
score?” Brian said taunted back.
“Yeah… what of it?” I said.
“Scores don’t lie, man… and the score is telling me that
you’re gonna lose.” He said.
“Yeah? We’ll see about that” I replied.
We started the match. It was intense from the start, as I
mashed my buttons to get the combos down. He won, though, the first round. Best
two out of three. I worked a bit harder the second round, and beat him
practically without taking damage. The third round was the most intense, but as
it would surely seem…
“AHHH MAN!” Brian said.
…I had beaten him.
I laughed, and so did Seth, who was spectating the match from behind us.
“Here you go” Brian said, accepting his fate, handing Seth
the controller.
“Alright man, hold on. I’ll be right back” Seth said,
standing up with a crinkle.
He began walking towards the door, but stopped when Brian
suddenly asked him something.
“Where are you going?” Brian said.
“I have to go to the bathroom” Seth said, opening the
door.
Brian laughed.
“Uh… nope” he said.
Seth looked over at Brian, and I looked over at Brian, and
Brian pretty much had nothing but a silly smile on his face, nodding a no.
“What? I can’t go to the bathroom?” Seth asked with an
aggravated and kind of non-believing look.
“Nope” Brian confirmed.
“Come on man… I have to piss. I had a coke at the fair
with
Still though… Brian nodded a no.
Held the door open…
“And if I do?” Seth said.
“You’ll regret it” Brian assured.
“How?” Seth said.
Brian had an incredibly confident look on his face…
“Trust me. You don’t want to pee – you want to hold it.”
Brian assured.
“Why? What are you going to do?” Seth said.
“Maybe I’ll have Daniel over there beat you up. Maybe not. But one thing is for sure… you don’t want to get
the super-dare. Holding it will make your life better in the long run” Brian
said in a very confident tone.
Seth looked at him unsure of what he was going to do. But
he sighed, shook his head, and then shut the door, and walked back over to us.
“You win” Seth said.
Brian laughed.
But right then, right when Seth sat down…
“Pizza’s here!” we all heard.
“SWEET” Brian yelled happily.
He jumped up, and ran out of the room, and down the steps,
leaving Seth and me alone… oh yeah, and Daniel, too. Seth kind of gave me a
desperate look…
“What’s up” I said with a bit of a chuckle.
“Dude you have no idea how bad I have to piss right now”
he said.
“Why didn’t you go before you put the diaper on?” I asked.
He shrugged… “I didn’t have to yet” he admitted.
---
“Mmmm… this pizza is so good”
Brian said as he stuffed a piece into his mouth.
It was his second piece. It was kind of disgusting, how
fast he ate his first piece, considering I had only one bite of my first piece
in my stomach. We were all sitting around the dining room table… I was sitting
across from Seth and Daniel, and next to Brian. Brian’s and Daniel’s parents
were sitting across from each other on the long ends of the table.
“Glad you like it” his father said with a smile.
I took a chomp out of my pizza… there wasn’t much
conversing going on right now, so I didn’t say anything.
“SO Seth,
“Oh it was very nice. Back in my old town we had displays,
but they varied from year-to-year.” I explained.
“Yeah, same here, too. This year was pretty good.”
Brian’s father said.
“How about you, Seth?” Brian’s father asked him.
I looked over at Seth, since I didn’t hear a response. He
was staring off into space, his eyes big, and his mouth small. He wasn’t
looking at anything… he was in his own little world.
“Seth?” Brian said, pushing on his shoulder.
“Huh? What?” Seth said, suddenly coming back to our plane.
“What’d you think of our fireworks display?” Brian’s dad
said again.
“Oh. Uhh… it was pretty good…
yeah. I liked it. Was very uh… ka-boomey,
and erm… flashy…” he said.
But it was the way he said it that made me feel slightly bad for him. Or at least
concerned. He was shuffling around in his chair as he said it. A lot. He spoke in an uneasy tone, and was doing the
nervous-scratch on the side of his head (you know, where you kind of rub your
temple or the side of your face with your hand).
I knew why… I knew what he had to do. I knew he was doing
the “I need to pee right now” dance, but was trying to be discreet about it,
and from the look of it… the look of desperation in his eyes, he had to go bad.
But no one else took notice of this. At least I don’t
think so. I know for a fact that Brian’s parents didn’t…
The conversation continued and I saw Seth give kind of the
examinant eye to Brian, Daniel, and me. Though… when he looked at me, I looked
down. But once I knew he wasn’t looking anymore I rolled my eyes back up and stared
at him. I monitored him. I felt kind of… well… I felt a sense of pity.
The talking in the background got drowned out because I
was paying too much attention to Seth. I left a watchful eye on all of his
actions. His eyes were desperate. His movements were nonstop and were in a very
fluid motion. Later on, he began shaking his leg, and his hands started shaking
very, very slightly. He went to pick up his pizza, and I could see that his
strength was low. He was holding out – but it wasn’t easy. He had a look of, no
longer needing to pee, but a look of agony.
He tried his best to hide it and I could tell. He started
eating his slice of pizza, though only got about one down (I highly doubt he
was hungry right now), and would occasionally laugh at something just to chime
in.
I shook my head as I felt kind of bad for him… and just
took another bite of my pizza. I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t going to
point it out… I wondered if I should say something to Brian, maybe.
I contemplated while eating a slice of pizza… and
eventually added myself into the going conversation. But soon, quite soon, we
all were stuffed.
---
“Okay guys, time for bed” we all heard.
Brian whined, and I did too… well kind of. I just moaned.
We all walked out of the dining room, and into the living room, feeling our
stomachs being overly full of pizza. I walked over to grab my bag, which was
sitting on the living room floor (since I plopped it there when we went for
pizza).
“Alright – you guys know the drill” Brian said to Seth and
me, in a whisper.
I nodded, but Seth didn’t reply. Brian just shrugged,
smirked, and Daniel and Brian were on their way upstairs. I looked around as I
saw Seth again… he was leaning on the back of a chair, with both arms, facing
down. His eyes were very open… his arms were twitching noticeably. His mouth
was kind of open now, in a panting way… and he was sweating. This concerned me.
“Seth, are you okay?” I asked.
He looked at me… and nodded a no.
“I need to go… now. Right now.”
Seth said.
“Well go break it to Brian that you can’t hold it man,
it’s an extreme emergency. He’ll believe you, you’re sweating and panting!” I
explained.
He nodded his head a no.
“I don’t know what Brian says he’ll do to me but I can
most likely guarantee you it won’t be good…” he said.
I wanted to slap him.
“Dude – this is fucked” I said, whispering so that Brian’s
parents didn’t hear me.
“You’ve got to go when you’ve got go. And you do. So go” I
said.
He looked at me…
“Dude this is sheer fucking pain. I can’t take it. I’m
going to go to the bathroom man. But don’t tell Brian” he pleaded.
“Chill man, I ain’t like that” I
assured.
Seth nodded his head understandingly, and then, slowly,
walked upstairs towards where the bathroom was, leaving me alone.
“You okay
I turned around.
“Huh? Oh yeah – Seth and I were just talking for a second
and he just went upstairs. I was about to go up there too” I explained.
“Oh, well… okay” she said to me.
I nodded, and then took my pack, and proceeded up the
steps. The only light source I was given was that of the nightlights that were
placed along the steps, and the one in the hall. The nightlight was all too
familiar to me – it was the same nightlight I used as my guide through the
hallway the first night I slept over here, as I was going into the bathroom… to
put on a diaper for the first time. And from that moment on was history… the
second I shut that door I sealed my fate as a diaper-lover. The lighting was
just the same, too. It almost made me feel almost nostalgic. It made me
remember when I first became a diaper-lover… when I was so nervous to put on a
diaper just to prove myself to Brian, Daniel, and Seth.
I walked up the steps, through the hall, and stopped at
the door and looked around. The bathroom door was shut, and there was light
coming from underneath the door. I was satisfied to know that Seth was doing
the right thing. I opened the bedroom door, and then proceeded inside, tossing
my backpack next to the door (since I knew we were going to be leaving soon
anyways).
Brian was already on his bunk, lying on his stomach,
staring at me as I was coming in. I looked around and assumed Daniel was up on
his top bunk, out of my view. I walked over to my usual sleep-over spot (which
was at the bottom of the bunk bed, right next to the bottom bunk on the floor).
There was already a blanket and a pillow waiting for me. I felt welcomed.
I laid down… there was nothing
but a desk lamp on. But as soon as I laid down, I
heard the click, and suddenly everything went black. There was no light except
for the ever-familiar red numbers on the electric clock I was facing… I guess
Brian turned off the desk lamp. I simply shut my eyes, and acted as though I
was trying to sleep… the usual routine.
But it was only about a minute
before I heard the door open again. I figured it was Seth coming back from the
bathroom… so I didn’t bother looking. I continued to lay there with my eyes
shut.
---
It was silent. It was dark. I don’t know how
long I was laying there. I wasn’t staring at the clock… I didn’t open my eyes
to see it, either. I was too busy paying attention to the pictures in my head.
“Pssst!” I heard. It was Brian.
Right then, the desk lamp
flashed on, illuminating the room with that weird yellowish-orangey color.
“You
guys all awake?” Brian said, whispering.
There was a bit of a lack in
response… everyone kind of moaned or grunted. With the light now on, I sat up,
and looked around. Seth was on the couch, lying there. I saw him… he was
staring off again. He was staring off, into nothingness. His mouth was small,
his eyes were big. He was staring dead ahead of him… into space. It wasn’t a
face of… say… zoning-out. It was a more distinct expression that is really too
difficult to explain without using one simple word. His face expressed… fear.
“
I looked over, and nodded.
“What about you Seth?” Brian
said, looking over at Seth.
Seth still looked dead ahead…
but did a barely noticeable nod.
“What about you Daniel?” Brian
said.
“Uh-huh…” Daniel said from up
on his bunk.
“Okay. You guys ready to go to
the club house?” Brian asked.
We all kind of mumbled…
“Sweet” I said, laughing.
---
We all sat up… except for Seth…
who was kind of sitting up in the first place. His head was up, since it was
resting on the arm of the couch.
“So how long are we going to be
out there for?” I asked.
Brian, who stood up from his
bunk, shrugged. “I don’t know” he said.
“Until we fall asleep… or even
if, we might end up falling asleep in the club house” he explained.
I didn’t mind either way.
“Won’t your mom care?” I asked.
Brian stopped and the
expression on his face expressed that he was thinking…
“She and my dad don’t usually
wake up until like… noon… on their days off” he explained.
“Oh” I said.
“Yeah… and tomorrow, they have
off. So they’ll be sleeping in late” Brian explained.
“Oh… well… alright” I said.
“Yeah… but… we should hurry up
so we can do more stuff out there” Brian said.
I looked around… by the door
was my backpack, and by my backpack were my shoes. And on my feet, were my
socks of course. So all I had to do was actually just put my shoes on, and I
was ready to go…
…which
I did. Brian put his shirt on, socks, and shoes, too. As did Daniel. It all took only about five minutes. I looked
over at Seth… who kind of didn’t move since.
“Seth,
you going to get ready?” I asked.
“Huh? Oh… yeah. Hold on” he
said, sitting up.
As he was getting ready, Brian
went over on getting out of the house one more time to freshen
our memories… like we really needed refreshment.
“Okay… you guys all keep quiet…
we sneak down the steps… we sneak out the backdoor, and I lock it with my key.
We sneak through to the woods, keeping an eye out for the fuzz and before you
know it, we’re there” he explained.
“…sounds about right…” I said.
“Alright, I’m ready” Seth said.
“Then let’s go” Brian said.
Seth stood up, and got with the
rest of us… and in only a few seconds time, the room was once again dark,
quiet, and motionless… as we left for the club house.
---
“Come on, keep us with us!” I
begged Seth as we were running through the night at about 12AM.
“It’s
hard dude… running with a diaper isn’t easy…” he said.
We were gunning it through one
of the more populated parts of the town, and since it was a holiday, there were
more people out than usual.
Some people were even still
firing off fireworks in the distance… we were just worried about someone seeing
us, especially the cops. 12AM is definitely passed curfew. Not to mention the
fact that it’s the 4th of July… and any police officer wouldn’t
think of not looking in the backpacks of four teenagers, going into the woods,
at 12AM… That would be bad… considering there were diapers there.
So we were all trying to be
very cautious, and swift. But Seth kept falling back some.
“I understand that man… but
come on…” I said, slightly frustrated.
Seth sighed a bit… I held his
backpack as we both ran across a street into one of the alleyways we snuck
through on our path to the clubhouse.
Seth began running a bit faster
than me for a second though, but I was holding back to not leave him behind. He
ran up to the side walk on the other side of the street, but as he did… I
noticed something that caught my attention. It was his… his style of running.
It wasn’t a run. Nor was it a
walk. It was more of a… limp. A limp, or a shuffle… to
the side. When he ran he kind of hopped from one foot to the other
side-to-side, forward (like hopscotch).
We both made it to the other
side and caught up with Brian and Daniel, who signaled us to go through the
alleyway. As we ventured through though, I noticed another thing about Seth. He
did it when he walked, too, which he didn’t do before.
“Why are you walking like a
duck?” I said with a bit of sarcasm.
But… maybe I shouldn’t have
said that. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut. Maybe I should have just…
let it be. Because when I said that, and as I was looking at Seth to see or
hear an expected sarcastic look, gesture, or statement back… he looked at me
with a look I don’t think I will forget for the remainder of my days.
It was no angry face,
frustrated face, or devious face. Nor was it one of confusion, sickness, and
certainly not one of surprise. And by absolutely no means, in any dimension,
was it one of happiness… It was one of absolute and complete sadness and fear.
His eyes illuminated in the dark… they were glassy, and for a second you would
have sworn you could have seen… tears, at the bottom of his eyelids.
He looked at me dead in my
eyes, with his eyes of desperation, fear, anguish, and despair… for just one
second. All I could see in the dim light of that alleyway were those two eyes.
And for that one second I felt like my chest was lit on fire… and I think it
was because of that look now that I believe that looks can kill. Because after he gave me that glare… I kind of wanted to die
from guilt for whatever I just triggered inside of him.
---
The whole way to the clubhouse,
which was about five more minutes, I couldn’t get it out of my head. I couldn’t
stop thinking about what I had said, something so simple, and his reaction…
something so indescribable and impossibly complex.
I wanted to ask him why. He
walked ahead of me from that point forward… and I noticed that he was trying to
walk straighter now. Something inside of me told me to let him be… either that
or I was too scared to say anything.
But either way, we were soon at
the club house. It was pitch black in the woods as we traveled through, but
Brian and Daniel pretty much knew the way through by heart, so Seth and I
followed them through, and in only a minute or two after breaching the border
of the woods, we were standing at the foot of the clubhouse.
Brian opened the door and went
in first, then Daniel, Seth, and finally myself. By the time I got in there,
the candle was already lit… and everyone had their seats chosen.
---
I tossed my bag underneath the
bench that was to the right of the door. It wasn’t the longest, since it was
cut off from the doorway in the middle, but it was enough to lie down and rest.
I placed my bag underneath it to keep it out of the way, and then, laid down on the bench, as everyone else pretty much sat
around.
“Okay… so we’re here. Now what”
I said.
Brian smiled.
“Can I pee yet?” Seth pleaded.
Suddenly Brian started
laughing.
“OH
YEAH!” Brian said with a big cheesy grin.
“Yeah man, go outside and pee.”
Brian said.
Seth slowly rose from his seat
and quietly left the club house. Seeing him kind of reminded me of the look…
but it really never left my mind. I knew he already peed, and I knew he was
just trying to play it for Brian and Daniel.
I took a breath of air in
through my mouth… I felt bad for saying that. I did something to Seth I didn’t
mean to do… that I still don’t know what I did. I felt compelled to go
apologize or see what it was all about.
“Hey, I have to go pee, too” I
lied.
Brian shrugged.
“Go ahead man” Brian said.
I got up from the bench, taking
the backpack with me (it was habit from being paranoid about people going
through and taking my stuff) and stretched a bit. I took in another breath of
air through my mouth, and walked outside.
It was real dark outside… I had
shut the door so there was really no light source but the moon and the distant
headlights from the streets in the distance. They had built the clubhouse on a
small stretch of flat land… it was flat for a while around the area. No trees,
no hills… it was very convenient. I looked around, trying to find even a
silhouette of Seth in the woods. But I couldn’t… where he was, was completely
beyond me.
I made sure to distance myself
from the clubhouse after a few moments.
“Seth!” I whispered.
“Seth, its
I looked around, through the
trees. Maybe he was acting like he was peeing behind a tree or something. I
scanned the perimeter around the clubhouse… the trees, the flat section
immediately around the clubhouse… no good.
I thought this may have been a
pretty elaborate way to trick Brian… maybe a bit too elaborate. I knew he
wasn’t really peeing, so where could he have been?
I stopped for a second after
giving up, sighed… and kind of slid down the trunk of a tree. I was feeling
kind of weird… I thought for a moment, letting myself think for just a few
seconds, until I forced myself back up. I was just going to go back to the
clubhouse.
I stood up, and began walking
towards the clubhouse. But suddenly, as I was walking towards the house, I
heard a distant sound. A sound that stood out from the usual
late-night forest ambience. It was not the crickets, nor was it the
sound of the distant creek. It was a crinkle. A loud crack of
a crinkle that caught my attention immediately.
I stopped walking, and looked
around… I couldn’t find anything. I slowly crept towards the direction I
thought I had heard the sound come from… it was to my right, in a patch of
trees. It was much darker there than the other areas I had checked… there were
no windows on that side of the clubhouse that the sound had came from, so there
was no illumination from the candlelight.
I didn’t say anything… out of
kind of fear, and I just didn’t… it was kind of an automatic reflex. Which I
guess was pretty stupid… I mean… you hear a strange sound coming from the dark
section of trees, in the middle of the woods. You have no gun, no knife, and
are an innocent 14 year old. Of course, you walk towards the sound without
presenting yourself.
But I wasn’t thinking straight
anyway. I crept toward the trees. I heard some rustling suddenly… Eventually I
had made it to the trees. I was pretty tense… I was all too curious to what the
sound was. I was positive it was Seth but it sounded like he was doing a whole
lot more than just sitting around pretending.
But it was too dark to see… I
thought for a moment… and then decided to use my flashlight. I took my backpack
off of my back, and rustled through my spare clothes and some games, a few
diapers, and finally my flashlight.
And
finally… I saw it: the silhouette of someone standing
before me only a few feet away. I took my flashlight, aimed it at the body
before me… and clicked the light…
---
“Turn off the light!” I heard
Seth say.
I was facing him, with my eyes
big. My mouth dropped. My fingers too paralyzed to click that switch that would
have blinded me from seeing what I was seeing. It wasn’t exactly anything too
exceptional… but I was too shocked from the surprise.
Facing me with a look like a
deer in the headlights, was Seth. He was wearing
nothing but a shirt, a diaper, and a pair of pants that were down to his
ankles. The shirt was short… the diaper was completely visible. The whole front. The whole diaper… was also yellow.
Suddenly he launched himself at
me, which kind of knocked me to the ground. He took the flashlight and turned
it off. I still didn’t say anything.
“Your…
your diaper” I began to say…
“Shut up!” Seth ordered with a
desperate cry.
I was lying on the ground, Seth
was over me. I slowly rose to my feet and faced him… but he backed off a few
steps.
“Just… shut up…” Seth said.
“Seth… what happened?” I asked.
My chest was on FIRE! I
couldn’t BELIEVE this!
“You’re going to tell Brian.
You’re going to think this is all a good joke tonight with everyone else. I
can’t deal with it. I won’t” Seth began to say with an angry tone of voice.
“W-what?” I
shockingly said.
“You! Do you
just come back here to watch people take pisses in the woods?” Seth said with
an angry tone.
“I thought you went back at the
house!” I said.
He looked at me…
“Daniel was there…” he said.
It didn’t take the little spark
of electricity passing through a string of filament to show me that Seth was
beginning to cry. I could hear the slight whimper and the sniffing…
“…oh…” I understandingly said.
“So that’s why you were walking
like that…” I understandingly said.
I saw the silhouette before me
drop a bit, along the side of a tree. He slid down it, until he was sitting
against it.
“I’m sorry” I said.
“It hurt so bad… it wasn’t like
needing to pee anymore. It was pain.” Seth said…
“Seth. I don’t… I understand…
I’m sorry… It’s okay” I said. I couldn’t think of anything to say as I saw him
break down and cry only a few steps from me.
“No it’s not” Seth replied…
“Yeah it is man” I convinced.
He shook his head…
“Brian is going to see. You’ll
tell him or something… he’ll see me wearing no diaper, or worse, see me in a
pissed in one… he’ll think this is just hilarious a-and I’ll never live this
down!” Seth said.
“Seth – I’m not going to tell
anyone. I swear” I said.
I really couldn’t think of
anything to say, or do. The only thing I could think of… I did. I got down onto
my knees, and reached over, and put both of my hands on both of Seth’s
shoulders, and looked at him. He looked up at me, and for a few seconds… our
faces were only a few inches from each other. We were practically breathing the
same air, and each other’s exhales. I looked at his eyes, his desperate,
fearful, and tear filled eyes stared back at mine…
“It’s okay” I said.
He sniffed.
“Listen” I said, shaking his
shoulders a bit.
He sniffed again.
“Brian or Daniel won’t see a thing.
The only ones who will now anything about this are me. And
you. I promise. Do you understand me?” I said.
He blinked, sniffed… and nodded
his head.
“…but what will I do?” Seth
said.
“We will get you in a different
diaper. You will change yourself; I’ll get you one that’s clean. We’ll go in
there like nothing happened, okay?” I said.
He nodded…
“Okay… hold on” I said, taking
my hands from his shoulders, and my face away from his.
I stood up… and thought. And contemplated. How was I going to get a diaper? Then it
hit me. There was only one way… I looked back… and saw him kneeling down in the
dirt, in nothing but a short shirt and a wet diaper, with a wet face and
tear-filled eyes.
I faced away, took my backpack…
and began to dig through.
“What are you doing?” Seth
mumbled. I didn’t respond.
I felt around… and felt one
diaper.
Was I really prepared for this?
Was I really willing to do this? To blow myself out of the water… to reveal
myself a bit, and show Seth that I had diapers in my backpack? He was in no
position to judge… but this was a pretty heavy thing to do.
“This is it” I thought.
“…but I have to do it” I
thought.
I took in a deep breath, and
pulled out one of the diapers from my backpack.
“Here” I said.
His eyes blew up a bit.
“Why do –“
Seth began to go on…
“Don’t tell Brian. Don’t tell
Daniel. Don’t tell anyone – or I won’t return the favor” I said, laying down
the law.
“…okay…” Seth said giving me a
strange look.
“Here – take it” I said,
shaking it again.
“…okay…” Seth said once more,
taking the diaper from my hand.
I froze for a moment… before
going back.
“Look, I know this is weird
having this in my bag. But this is the only one. We’ll talk later” I explained.
I turned around, and started
walking in the opposite direction, but only a few steps. I could hear the tapes
tearing from the diaper’s front, and the crinkling of him balling the diaper. I
heard some rustling, some more crinkling, the sounds of the tapes, and in a few
minutes…
“It’s safe” I heard him say.
I turned around, and there was
Seth, standing as though he wasn’t even wearing a diaper. He had his hat to the
side, his pants up. Buttoned and zipped, with his shirt pulled down. His shoes
were tied and his socks were adjusted. He looked fine.
“Okay, you ready?” I said.
He nodded. I turned around to
start walking back, trying to forget that I had just blown myself out of the
water to help him.
“Wait” Seth said… making my
heart kind of sink.
“…I don’t know why you did what
you did, or why you could in the first place… like why you had it in your
backpack and stuff… and I guess I won’t ask. I won’t tell anyone either, okay?”
Seth said from behind me.
I nodded, and turned around.
“Okay” I said. I was confident
in his word.
“Oh…” Seth said.
He walked up close to me, and
we were once again face to face, alone in the woods. Surrounded by darkness,
with nothing but the ambience of the crickets, the distant creek, the vague
echoes of fireworks cracking the distance…
“…thank you…” he said, putting
his head down.
“…no problem Seth” I said,
smiling…
There was silence…
“Let’s go” I said.
“Yeah” he agreed.
“Chapter Sixteen, Happy 4th of July… Baby
I don’t know why I did what I
did. I don’t know why I threw myself out like that. I don’t know why I decided
to put myself in a worse position than Seth would have been. I just practically
did something in such a style that I wouldn’t have ever preferred. I just
exposed myself to Seth… but why…
Maybe it was because I couldn’t
stand to watch him crying like that. So fearful over the
simple reaction that Brian and Daniel would have given… laughter. I
could see it. I could feel his fear.
He was too scared for me to not
have done something about it. I would’ve been, too… which I couldn’t lie about.
I gave him one of the diapers from my backpack because I couldn’t stand the
thought of someone like Seth being miserable… suffering… crying… humiliated.
Someone who is so always happy
and filled with life was brought to their knees because he feared one thing:
the reaction to someone else. This concept blew my mind. Brian and Daniel were
understanding people. Seth had a legitimate reason behind his accident. But he
still was scared shitless and was crying like a baby for help. And I was the
only one available. I was the only one there. I was the only one. It was the
only thing I could do. I wouldn’t have lived with myself if I wouldn’t have
done it…
He deserved better than to live
humiliated that night. I couldn’t let it go. I couldn’t have. It’s against my
person. It’s against my personal religion. It’s against my way of life. I can’t
ever live knowing I could have stopped someone else from suffering… even if it
meant to put myself out there, in the open.
---
My walk back into the clubhouse
felt like it took hours rather than a few short seconds as Seth and I walked
into the clubhouse.
“Well it took you two long
enough!” Brian said.
“Huh?” I said, playing it
entirely up.
“It took you two like five
minutes to piss” Brian said.
“What’s the rush?” I said.
“Uh… the night is only a few
hours long...” Brian reminded.
“It wasn’t exactly a fast
process to take a diaper off, pee, and put one back on in the pitch blackness”
Seth made up.
“Hmm… I suppose…” Brian
shrugged.
“So you’re wearing one still…
show it!” Brian said with a cheesy grin.
Seth sighed, pulled his shirt
up and held the bottom with his chin, and pulled down his pants and boxers,
revealing the diaper.
My heart was racing a bit.
There was that little voice in me yelling that Brian will know that it’s a new
one.
“Okie-dokie”
Brian said.
I let out a breath of relief.
“Okay… so… here’s what’s going
down” Brian said, stretching out a bit, cracking his fingers.
“Seth did his dare… who’s up…
“Uh… okay” I said.
I sure was wrong!
“Here” Brian said, pulling out
a diaper.
He tossed the diaper to me, and
said “Put this on”.
“Uh…
where?” I asked.
“Outside” Brian instructed.
I sighed…
“Okay” I said.
I turned around, opened the
door, and walked outside with the diaper in hand.
“This shouldn’t be too hard…” I
thought. I had done it to myself enough times that I knew how to do it pretty
well by now.
I spotted the area with my
naked eyes, unable to see very far. But my eyes were still adjusted to the dark
pretty well from being outside with Seth a few minutes ago. I looked around,
and decided to go back to the spot that Seth and I were at a few moments ago…
I walked over, looked around…
and lied down pretty near where Seth did. I looked around once more out of
habit, and finally unzipped and unbuttoned my pants, and pulled them down to my
ankles (and my boxers, too)…
With crinkles that surely broke
the silence of the woods in half, I unfolded the disposable diaper, lifted my
butt up, and slid the diaper underneath it. I rested myself on top of it, and
pulled the front of the diaper over top of my diaper-area. I pulled the tapes,
and placed both sides of the diaper securely onto the front of my diaper,
securing it.
I quickly pulled my clothes
back up, brushed myself off… and walked back into the clubhouse.
---
“You wearing
it?” Brian asked me.
I rolled my eyes…
“Yeah” I said.
“Can I see?” he asked.
I sighed… and pulled down my
pants a bit, revealing the top of the diaper.
“Okay!” he said.
I shrugged non-caringly, and
walked over to my bench, sat down, and relaxed… closing my eyes, not caring
about what was going to happen next. I couldn’t give less
mind to wearing diapers at the moment… I was more concerned about what I
had done, what will happen, and other stuff of that sort. I was definitely not
in the best of moods.
“That’s not the whole dare you
know” Brian said.
“…okay…” I said, still
non-caringly.
“You okay
I realized I was being a bit
rude, unintentionally of course, and was kind of taking it out on the wrong
person.
“Yeah man, sorry… just uh…
getting a bit of a headache” I lied.
“Oh… okay, sorry to hear that.
If you start getting sick or something, just tell me okay? We’ll go back home”
Brian said, smiling kindly.
“Thank you, I will if I do” I
said, closing my eyes and going back into my own world of thoughts.
“Hmmm… well, since
I heard no words…
“How
come?” I heard Brian say.
“I’m done with this stuff man,
you know that. I told you” I heard Daniel say.
“Oh… okay.” I heard Brian say.
“No, it’s fine. I’ll go” I
said, opening my eyes, cracking my joints, and sitting up (since I was lying
down on the bench before).
“You
sure?” Brian asked.
“Yeah” I assured.
“Okay, well, as for the dares
thing… I have to discuss something to you guys, this part will be part of all
dares we do tonight” Brian began.
This sounded a bit odd… so I
began to listen a more carefully.
“What?” Seth asked.
Brian kind of shrugged, and
began to reach into his backpack.
“Keep in mind, if you back
down… this kind of counts against the dares, if you don’t let me do this” Brian
said.
“What is it?” I asked.
He smirked
a bit devishly…
“I hope none of you are too…”
Brian began, pushing around through his backpack.
“…camera shy” Brian finished,
finally pulling out what looked to be a small, digital camera.
“…what?” I asked.
“I’m going to take pictures of
this” Brian said.
“Uh… hah… no” I said, almost
completely at the same time Seth said no.
“Come on guys!” Brian said.
“Dude no, come on.” Seth said.
“Why
not?” Brian said.
“Why would you!?” I said.
Brian kind of looked up like he
was thinking, but then shrugged.
“I dunno,
I thought it would be funny and would kind of add to the intensity of things.
And think of THIS… whenever we stop doing these things or whatever you know,
you have stuff to look back on!” Brian said, smiling a bit, clearly trying to
change our opinions.
We both were silent…
“So what, you’re going to take
pictures of us in diapers? And just us? That’s kind of
ironic…” I said.
“No no! Me
too!” Brian said with a giddy tone.
I sighed out of frustration,
and rested back on the wall of the clubhouse…
“…do we really have to?” I
asked in desperation.
“…well… no I guess not. I just…
dunno… thought it’d be a fun twist” Brian said.
I shook my head…
“Where’d you get a camera from,
anyway?” I asked.
“Daniel and I… we got it from
my Dad earlier this summer. I haven’t used it too much, was hoping to use it
tonight” he said.
“Well… what if someone sees
them!?” Seth says.
Brian laughed in return…
“No one will see them… there’s
no one TO see them that we hang out with anyway, out of school” Brian said.
“…but you guys don’t have a
computer, why do you have digital?” I remarked.
“Yeah we do. It’s in just not
in our room. Its in the living room… you never noticed it?” Brian said.
“…well…
uh… actually, no. I never have” I said, slightly dumfounded.
“Hah…
so yeah.” Brian remarked.
“I don’t know man… I just don’t
feel comfortable with you not only taking pictures of me in a diaper, and then
having the ability to give it to anyone you please. I’m not saying you will, I
just have a weird anxiety thing.” I said.
He looked at me… he had an
understanding look, but he looked like he was contemplating or thinking
something.
“Well… if you really feel that
way I can give you the pictures afterwards, and you can keep them on your
computer” Brian said.
I could see there was no
arguing. I could see that there was no point in arguing. I could see that it
would all get me no where… I sighed…
“Fine” I said, in a giving-up
manner.
“Okay, deal?” Brian said in a
confirming tone.
“Yeah, ok-“ I
BEGAN to say…
“WHOA” we both heard, breaking
my sentence. It was Seth.
“Why does he get to have the
pictures? I’m going to be in there, too!” Seth said.
A wave of desperation and
frustration, and all kinds of “–ations” came over me.
Why couldn’t Seth just have left his mouth shut? Why couldn’t he have just let
me take the pictures onto my computer? It would have all ended there, we’d get
through the night… and it’d be that simple.
I personally did not want him
to have the pictures, though... so I objected.
“So? So is Brian” I said.
“Yeah man, so what?” Brian
asked.
“I don’t know man. I don’t want
you guys having the opportunity to, at anytime, accidentally or intentionally,
just show someone me in a diaper” he said.
“Well man, it’s
“I say you guys let me have
them” Seth argued, but I wouldn’t hear it.
“C’mon man, just let me have
them and it’ll be all over with. Who am I going to show them to?” I said.
“Anyone.” Seth
replied.
“I GOT IT!” we both suddenly
heard, breaking our argument. It was Brian.
“Well see a doctor and get rid
of it. Anyways, dude, I’m ridiculously careful and stuff with my com-“ I began to say.
“No! I HAVE the answer to this
stupid argument!” Brian interrupted.
“…what” I said.
“We’ll make a game. How about
this, since I really don’t care who has them, I trust you both thoroughly,
we’ll split you two up. When you do a dare, you get a point. Whoever has the
most points by the time we’re done gets custody and responsibility of the
pictures.” Brian said.
I contemplated what Brian had
said. This… actually really WAS the answer to the whole argument. Fair, simple,
to the point and… actually pretty fun. This sounded fine.
“Fine.
Alright, I’m alright with that. What about you, Seth?” I said.
I looked over… his arms were
crossed and his face made him look stubborn. He looked at me angrily, and at
Brian, too. He sighed…
“Fine. Whatever… yeah. I guess” he said, frustrated.
He sat down at his bench, and
sighed…
“I still think it’s stupid but
I’m not in any mood to really argue at the moment… so whatever, yeah” he
whined.
I looked over at him… he was
feeling poorly about the whole thing between he and I, too. This… kind of put
me at ease… only a little bit though.
“Sweet, guys… this’ll be fun as
hell” Brian said excitedly.
But I was thinking otherwise,
and I knew Seth was too. I mean, call me crazy… but after what I had just gone
through with Seth… I really wasn’t in the mood for diapers… I actually wasn’t
in much mood to be sitting there, with them, in that club house. I wanted to be
alone. I wanted to be home. I wanted to think and not end up ruining Brian’s
fun. I wanted to think to ease my own anxiety. I wanted to think to conceive
some sort of explanation for Seth. I wanted to have some time to think… to
myself.
There was a bit of a pit of
fire in my chest… that familiar burning I felt at the park so long ago. The
familiar burning I felt when I was so incredibly depressed at my house, when I
missed my mom. I was beginning to get accustomed to this small burning
sensation in my chest. My mind was racing, that fire was burning, I felt like
crying but I couldn’t. I wanted to scream but the thought was too absurd to
attempt, at 2AM in the morning on the 4th of July, in the middle of
the woods, where the only company present was three other similarly-aged
teenagers like myself, who were all completely oblivious to this fire that was
driving me insane.
This was a feeling I was
beginning to despise with a passion. I’ve felt it all too many times. It starts
small, and then grows vigorously. A pressure builds behind my eyes; they begin
to burn a bit… its hard to swallow. My heart races, my mind sprints, both
running in place, yet both lose. My breathing becomes deeper and harder because
I can’t breathe at a normal pace. My thoughts are absurd, exaggerated, but seem
like the truth. I want to break down and cry, but I can’t. I want to be alone…
but I want to just have someone who understands what the answer is to a
question that I can’t even identify. I start thinking everyone is watching me,
start thinking their out to get me… when I know that this literally isn’t the
case. It’s like a battle of some massive emotions versus my morality and common
sense.
…this is all very new to me,
but has been hitting me hard for the last two months. On and off… and I can’t
explain it.
I tried my best to ignore it…
but it was hard. I figured it would run its course like it does every other
time this has happened. I breathed in and out, looked over at Brian and Seth…
and somewhat calmly said…
“…we going to go and get
started or we just sit here and talk about it?” with a joking tone.
After all, I DID have this
thing to take care of. I needed to get these pictures taken care of, and then
everything would run its course. Then I could sleep, go home… and contemplate.
Brian laughed a bit, Seth was
soundless, and I was growing impatient.
“Well, it IS the 4th
of July. We can’t go out and do that stuff up there. We have to do it all down
here or out in the woods… but I really don’t think much will happen in the
woods. Let’s just do stuff in here. Its closed, safe, warm, and well-lit… you
know?” Brian explained.
“Alright” I concurred.
“So… let me think here… I’ll
keep count and be camera-man. Seth’s dare wasn’t pictured, and doesn’t count
towards score… and
“Okay…” I said.
I really didn’t care…
“Okay. So, first…
“I dare you to take off your
clothes, in just a diaper, and let me take a picture” Brian said.
I shrugged, sighed, and began
to take my clothes off. It was only a few moments before I was standing before
Daniel, Seth, and Brian, in nothing but that teen-sized disposable diaper.
…this made me a bit more alert.
But not too much. This hadn’t been the first time…
I’ve grown accustomed to being in nothing but a diaper in front of them by now.
But having a picture of me did alert me a bit.
I looked at the camera, did not
smile nor did I pose. I stood there uncaringly, with a blank expression on my
face, staring into the camera.
“Okay, here we go!” Brian said.
I continued my blank expression
of uncaring-ness. Suddenly within a few moments, there was a flash, and then a
beep. Brian looked at the back of the camera, chuckled, and said “Okay, 1 point
for
---
“Are we almost done?” I
wondered.
It had been about thirty
minutes… the last 1800 seconds seemed like a long, stretch of uneventful
waste-of-life, that all blurred together. I zoned out most of the time. Brian
gave us an order, Seth or I followed mindlessly.
The score was 5-5.
“Okay guys… I have 6 pictures
on here. I have plenty of more room. I think its time to bust out what bringing
everyone out here tonight was really about” Brian said.
“Huh?” I moaned. This caught my
attention… but I wasn’t too eager or zealous about hearing that there was even
MORE thrilling excitement to happen.
“Okay… so… you two are fine
with diapers, right? You two are fine with the camera… more than you were like
a half-hour ago I guess. I think its time to get you guys into some
competition” Brian said.
We sat there, both in nothing
but diapers, staring at Brian emotionless, silent, and uncaringly.
“This dare is for
I didn’t flinch.
“I don’t want to hear any
protesting after I show you guys this stuff! Remember, whoever wins gets to
have the pictures!” Brian said.
We still were silent.
“Welp! Okay…
I still wasn’t caring. Only paying half attention, even.
“…to put this on, and use this
stuff, too, and pose!” Brian said.
This caught my attention. And
what he did next REALLY caught my attention. As a matter of fact… what he
pulled out, and tossed at me, actually made my heart skip a beat. They were not
diapers. They were not anything of the sort.
…they were babies’ things!
He tossed to me what looked
like a pacifier, and a bib, and a baby’s bottle too! They all plopped onto the
floor, at my feet… as I stood motionless.
“W-what?!” I
said.
He chuckled…
“Where the hell did you get
that stuff” I said in awe. This was almost… too cheesy to be real.
This is the kind of stuff that
only happened in stories I’ve read online, in stories about other teen babies…
not in reality!
“I bought them… like last week”
he explained.
I was silent.
“I thought of the idea of
diapers and baby’s stuff when I saw an ad for diapers and stuff on TV – I
thought it’d be a funny idea!” Brian said with a big cheesy grin.
“…well get to it!” Brian said.
I was still a bit too shocked
to move, from the suddenness, the convenience, and the irony. I looked down at
the pacifier, and the bib, and the bottle, in awe. This seemed almost too… ironic
to be real, that I was to use baby’s things a week or so after I labeled myself
a teen baby, somewhat.
Did Brian know? How could he?
What were his intentions? The pictures!? Was it a plot?! My anxiety/depression
swing was moving in fast, my heart still pounding hard and fast, my mind still
racing too quickly to catch up with. I was losing it again.
“…o-okay” I mumbled.
It was hard. It was damn hard.
But I tried. I picked up the bib, looked at Seth, who had a bit of an awkward
expression in his eyes, and then Brian, who looked devious and happy with a
cheesy smile. I looked at Daniel, who wasn’t paying much attention… he was just
lying there on the bench, looking as though he was almost asleep, but overall
uninterested.
I looked down at the bib in my hands…
and examined it. It had no Velcro; it came together by tying two strings around
the neck it seemed. I looked down at the prints on the front portion… it was
white in the background, but in the front, featured Winnie The Pooh prints… a
show I watched occasionally as a younger child. There was a red lining that
moved around the actual bib, and connected with the strings… so altogether the
bib was red and white with Winnie the Pooh prints. I sucked up the anxiety,
depression, and various other minor emotions (confusion), and put the bib
around my neck. I did my best to tie the bib on myself, which wasn’t all that
hard to do myself.
When I finally accomplished
putting the bib on, I looked down at the pacifier, reached down, and grabbed
it… I examined it, too. It was sapphire blue with a bright red ring… the nipple
was clear, or from what I’ve heard it’s called from websites I visit, silicon.
Something about it attracted me… I guess it was tapping into my inner-teen
baby. Some characteristic about it was tempting me… though I didn’t know what.
I sucked up my pride, once
again… since dressing up like a baby, and having it documented, in front of my
three best friends, wasn’t exactly comfortable – and placed the silicon nipple
of the pacifier into my mouth, and held it in place with my lips. I wasn’t
exactly sucking on it… was just holding it in my mouth, like people do with a
cigarette.
I looked up at Brian, now
fairly dressed up as a baby. He of course, was smiling giddily.
“Aww…
look at the cute lil’ Baby Aden!” he teased.
This… made my heart stop. I
fire blazing out of control in my chest once again… not like it never stopped,
but this was a different kind of fire. One you feel when you’re embarrassed.
“Just take the damn picture!” I
said.
He laughed, held the camera up
to his face… and suddenly there was a flash, and a beep. He pulled it from his
face, looked down at the screen on the back of the camera… and started
chuckling.
“All
done! Hand the bib to Seth – it’s his turn” Brian said.
“Alright” I said.
I reached behind me, and began
pulling on the knot I had made to hold it in place… it came apart and I slipped
it off of me, and handed it to Seth.
Seth, looked at it, and me, and
had a very sheepish face as I held it to him. He breathed in hard, and reached
out for it. He took the bib from my hand, and I looked back at Brian… realizing
I still had the pacifier in my mouth.
“What about this?” I said to
Brian.
“What about it? Hah… I hope you
don’t think you’re giving that to Seth, too. I have another one in here; it
came in a pack of two. You can just put that on your bench so you don’t give
the wrong one to Seth or use the wrong one” he said, laughing.
I felt embarrassed yet again…
“Well, okay Seth – it’s your
turn” Brian announced, tossing another pacifier from his backpack at him. I
cracked my fingers, stretched, and sat down on my bench to watch.
He examined the bib, as well…
and put it on hesitantly like I did. He looked… awkward. It was a strange
expression on his face… one of regret, almost. One of shock,
and fear, as well. His eyes were big, his mouth was small, and his body
was still as he slowly and hesitantly tied the bib around his neck.
He carefully looked at the
pacifier in his hand… and slowly stuck it in his mouth. He looked at the camera
afterwards, with that expression on his face, still.
There was a quick flash, a
beep, and finally, Brian looked at it and nodded.
---
The score was 10-10. It had been… an hour… of us enduring our
little game that we didn’t want to play.
“Brian how much more do we have
to do this stuff, I’m getting tired” I whined.
“Hmmm… you’re right… I am too…
AND the camera only has like one more picture available” he explained.
I yawned. I was exhausted…
bored… I just wanted to stop. The little ball in my stomach was slowly fading
but only because it was being drowned in boredom… and other such emotions.
“Can we PLEASE finish this up,
Brian? I’m tired, too” Seth whined, too.
We were both tired… and were
both impatient.
“Yeah, yeah… sure… someone
think of one last dare for this last picture, and we’ll call it a night and get
some sleep” Brian concluded.
I sighed impatiently, as I fell
back onto the bench behind me. Seth shrugged, and fell back onto his bench.
“Can’t think of anything?”
Brian asked.
“Nope” I said non-caringly.
There was a horrifying silence
between all of us. Daniel was asleep, Seth and I wish we were, and Brian looked
as though he was too. There were no sounds in the distance anymore, of
domestic-grade fireworks being lit off. There weren’t even too many crickets
awake anymore. The sound of the distant creek was blocked out by the wooden
walls surrounding us… it was absolutely silent when we weren’t talking. This
made me all the more tired.
I had not forgotten about the
dares, however. I had not forgotten about the fact that I MUST have those
pictures… so that Seth never, ever had the chance to blackmail me with
anything. Not that I feel he would… but I have just strange anxieties where I
can’t allow anyone the chance to do something like that.
“I tell you what” Brian said.
“Since
we’re all tired. We’re all exhausted,
we’re all in dire need of some sleep…” Brian said.
“Uh huh…” I mumbled.
“How
about this. I give you two the camera. You two will try to
stay up as long as possible. Whoever goes to bed first loses. The one still
awake, takes a picture of the other asleep, gives it to me in the morning, and
that settles this” Brain said.
I contemplated. But there was
little time contemplating since I eventually just
said…
“Fuck it… yeah, fine. That’s
fine” I said.
“Seth?” Brian asked, checking
for his opinion.
“Yeah… alright…” Seth said.
“Cool. And now, here’s the
camera” Brian said, putting the camera down, between Seth and I, onto the
floor.
“Here’s the power button,
here’s the button to take a picture” Brian explained.
We both examined and listened
to Brian, since one of us were going to use it.
“Okay…” we both said
understandingly.
“Alright? If you
two got that, I’m going to go to bed” Brian said.
“Okay…” we both said.
“See you guys tomorrow” Brian
said, waving, and laying onto his bench, across from mine.
He laid his head down, onto his
backpack, and stretched a little bit… and then crawled up into a bit of a ball,
facing away from us.
Seth and I were once again,
facing eye to eye. It was he and I, competing to try to stay up the longest…
but the look on his showed me that he wasn’t quite ready to compete. He just
wanted to go to bed, like me.
His eyes were half shut… his
mouth was barely, just barely open… his head was nodding downwards
occasionally… he was tired alright.
---
He and I watched each other’s
faces… each other’s movements… scanning each other like a predator on its prey.
I don’t know how long it had
been. I don’t know how many minutes had passed since Brian had gone long to
sleep. It had been just us two, staring at each other eye-to-eye for God knows
how long.
I don’t know what was going
through Seth’s mind. I don’t know what he was feeling… besides immense fatigue,
of course. But I know what I was feeling… frustration.
I looked over at Brian, who was
curled into a ball, facing away from us, fast asleep. Daniel was, as well. I
breathed in deeply. The night was almost at an end… I wanted it to end now,
though. But this was only prolonging an unwanted experience.
I looked over at him… and
started thinking about how much I just wanted to be alone. How much I wanted to
go home. How badly I wanted that at the moment. I remembered the unforgettable
thing I had done for Seth only a few hours ago… and suddenly thought of
something.
I stood up suddenly,
stretching, and moaning a bit as my joints cracked.
“What are you doing?” Seth
asked me, in a whispery tone.
I looked over at him…
“Come here” I said.
“Huh?” he replied.
“C’mon, let’s go outside for a
second. I need air.” I said.
“…oh… o-okay” he replied.
I smirked and shrugged, bent
down, and grabbed the camera from my feet.
I breathed in, quietly opened
the door, and stepped out into the woods, with Seth following.
The air was so crisp now… and
surprisingly chilly for a July night. I heard Seth quietly shut the door behind
us, and we both walked into the open area in front of the clubhouse.
“It’s a nice night tonight” I
said, just starting conversation.
“…y-yeah…” Seth said.
“What’s wrong?” I said.
“Huh? Oh… nothing” he said.
I knew what was bothering him.
I felt it, too. We both just wanted to go home.
“I guess… this didn’t end up a
big, fun night like you and I were expecting, huh?” I said remorsefully.
He looked at me, and looked
towards the ground, nodding in agreement.
“I don’t know… the whole thing…
it just… was real weird.” He replied.
“Yeah…” I agreed.
I looked up at the sky, just
taking notice of the stars. There was a surprising amount of clarity in the sky
tonight, considering the amount of smoke you figured you’d see.
“There’s nothing to be weirded
out about though… I won’t say anything” I said.
He looked at me.
“It’s not that I don’t believe
you” Seth said.
“It’s just… awkward…” he said.
Though the silver illumination
that the moon and the stars were emitting, I could see him shrug.
“I’ll live” he said.
He looked at me, and I nodded.
But it was when he looked at me I got the sudden feeling that he wanted to ask
me… he wanted to ask me why I had those diapers in my backpack. I could hear
the gears turning in his head, and I could feel him wanting and craving to ask…
but I highly, highly doubted he would.
I wasn’t going to push it – so
I didn’t even think about trying to explain myself.
“I tell you what” I said,
breaking the silence.
“I need some sleep. And you
look like you do, too” I said.
“Yeah” he replied, looking at
me intriguingly.
“One of us acts like we’re
asleep, the other takes a picture… and then tomorrow, we’ll split our pictures.
We both have computers, we can both upload the pictures to our computers” I
explained.
“Why would we do that?” he
asked.
“Neither of us wants pictures
of ourselves on someone else’s computer. I’ll upload all pictures of just me,
and you take pictures of all you” I said.
He was beginning to understand…
“I just want to sleep. I just
want to be able to relax… I’m done playing around, you know?” I admitted.
“Yeah… yeah I know exactly what
you mean… alright, that sounds good. I guess I’ll go back inside and let you
take a picture of me sleeping” Seth replied.
“Alright” I said.
He didn’t hesitate to walk away
from me and into the clubhouse… my guess was because he was so incredibly
tired. I didn’t care… I was beginning to get happier now. The whole feel of the
night FINALLY coming to its conclusion was being to excite me. I looked up at
the stars above me one last time before entering into the clubhouse… they were
so bright and vivid, it was almost unreal. Thousands of stars open for me to
see… that’s a summer night for you.
Beautiful, open night skies,
crisp air… I loved it. The sounds of the distant creek, and chirping crickets
had filled my head once more, since they were all blocked out whenever I was in
the clubhouse… I really actually didn’t want to leave that area… but I had to.
I was tired, he was tired, and we both needed sleep and time to ourselves. I
breathed in the air one last time as I was walking towards the clubhouse, and
eventually, stepping inside.
---
The mid-night outdoor ambience
came to a sudden stop once I stepped back into the clubhouse and shut the door.
I tip-toed to not wake Brian or Daniel up, since walking on a wooden floor was
pretty loud, dropped my bag onto the floor next to my bench. Seth was doing the
same, as well.
He stretched, yawned, and laid back onto his bench, as I pulled the camera from my
pocket.
“Alright, you ready?” I said.
Seth grinned and nodded… he was
really, really exhausted. He shut his eyes, laid back,
and stood still. I breathed in to not cause motion blur on the camera, and
clicked the button.
There was a flash, and then a
beep… and the auto-preview of the camera displayed what I had taken.
And more importantly, however…
after that… after the preview picture faded… there came two more beeps, and a
new screen that read “Memory Full”.
The day was done. It was over.
I took a sigh of relief, and walked back onto my bench.
“I guess that’s that” Seth
mumbled.
“Yeah… yeah it is” I said back.
I looked around… and looked for
a spot to put the camera. I stood up, and looked at the middle of the room,
where the candle was. I motioned over towards the candle, placed the camera
near it, since it was pretty much in the middle of the room, it’d be hard for
Brian to miss it. I breathed in… and blew the candle out, suddenly rendering
everything black.
I was calm once again… for the
most part… I wasn’t upset anymore. I crawled around in the darkness until I
felt my backpack, and the bench. I climbed up onto it, and laid myself down,
and began to relax… all too happy it was all over.
“Goodnight
“Good night” I replied.
The whole day was flashing in
my head after I knew Seth was asleep. I was all alone and finally had time to
think. How awesome it was for me to hang out with my best friend’s on the 4th
of July, the great pizza I had… the whole Seth-and-I episode. The dares that I
endured… and the stranger dares I encountered later.
Those last dares… the ones with
the baby’s things… those I didn’t understand. Brian really DID take it up
further, like he said he would. But was it really because he saw and got the
idea from a diaper commercial? Somehow I was skeptical… but I was more than
willing to bet that was just my paranoia and suspicion. It comes with the whole
package of being a diaper-lover or teen-baby. Things like that set in.
You become more anxious about
little things that never made you think twice before. You become wary about
everyone’s actions, and begin to relate them to infantilism actions… thinking
“Are they one too?”
You wonder how many people are,
in fact, diaper-lovers or teen-babies, or adult-babies too, and don’t know
about it, themselves. You contemplate all kinds of randomly generated things
that are conceived purely by suspicion, hope, anxiety, and your own
uncertainty.
This was, of course… no
exception for me, suspecting and hoping, that Brian was at least a
diaper-lover. The whole thing with the baby stuff made me all the more anxious
about his alignment as just a silly kid or, aware of it or not, a diaper-lover
himself. Hell, maybe since he had those baby’s things… maybe HE was a
teen-baby, as well.
Now I was just jumping the gun,
of course. I was just jumping to conclusions, and I knew it. But man… it was so
weird how he just busted out with a bib, a bottle… and of course, a pacifier.
I yawned… this was all becoming
a bit too much for me to handle. I stretched as much as I could… curled up into a ball… and just tried to clear my mind…
I guess this was really,
indeed, a pretty amazing… not just 4th of July, but a night I will
definitely remember for the remainder of my lifetime…
“Chapter Seventeen, A Rude
Awakening”
“Oh no!” I heard.
Because I wasn’t completely awake, I paid hardly any
attention at all. I was just kind of in that midpoint between sleep and
consciousness. I was listening, but wasn’t making sense of anything.
“Crap! Guys! Wake up!” I heard.
I didn’t wake up.
“W-Whaatt?” I heard in a long, haggard whine.
It was Seth.
“
This woke me up a bit more. I slowly opened my eyes, and
looked around… I felt so tired and felt like crap because of it. I definitely
hadn’t gotten a very long sleep.
“What’s up?” I asked after a moment or two.
Looking over I could see Brian was already energetic. But
he looked panicked.
“Guys, get your things!” he said. He sounded very worried.
“What’s up?” I asked.
No one replied. Brian was too busy tossing the pacifier,
bottle, and other similar things into his backpack. Daniel was standing near me
but wasn’t paying attention either, and was busy gathering his own things.
I looked over at Seth, who was lying on the bench opposite
of me. His eyes were slits, and his head was resting against his backpack,
using it as a pillow. He was falling back asleep. I wanted to do the same… but
the apparent urgency in this situation was keeping me curious enough to stay
awake.
“What’s going on guys?” I asked, a little louder.
Still no reply!
“Seth man wake up!” Brian yelled.
Seth’s eyes opened, and he picked his head up.
“I am awake man” he said.
“I’m serious stay up, we gotta
roll. Get your crap if you brought anything” Brian insisted.
Seth’s eyes stayed closed, and he nodded his head.
“A’ight yeah... I’m good” he
replied.
“GUYS!” I yelled.
Everyone JUMPED!
“WHAT
“What the hell is going on!?” I yelled in return.
“We slept too long, we have to
get back to our house. Our parents could be awake right now, or could be waking
up. We gotta get there before they realize we’re gone
if they don’t know already” Daniel replied.
“W-What? What time is it?” I asked.
“Like 1” Daniel replied again.
“Thanks” I said back.
“Yeah… so get your stuff, we’re leaving like right now”
Daniel said.
He was being very calm, cool, and collected. Brian, on the
other hand, was not.
“Man mom and dad are gonna KILL
us if they find out we snuck out!” Brian whined.
His things were gathered, and Brian and Daniel were ready
to go. I was good to go, since my things were gathered – and Seth never even
brought his bag. So we were set.
I stood up, as did Seth – and we both followed Brian and
Daniel out of the club house (since they both already had left it and were
walking hastily towards the path out of the woods).
Neither of us could see very well at all. The sun was as
bright as a typical cloudless summer day could be. And to our unadjusted, tired
eyes – it was probably the most agonizing thing we could’ve experienced at that
point. We could hardly walk because of our sun blindness. We just had to look
down at the ground and hope for the best!
Eventually we did make it though. We made it out of the
woods, and through the streets. We cut through a few shortcuts here or there, and eventually made it into Brian’s backyard.
Reluctantly, we entered his house – because we all knew at
that point that his parents were definitely awake and aware that we were gone.
---
“Excuse me!? Where WERE YOU FOUR?”
That was the first thing we heard when we entered the
house.
“M-Mom!” Brian yelled.
“WHERE WERE YOU FOUR?” Brian’s and Daniel’s mother and
father were both standing in the kitchen, and neither looked happy at all about
our sudden reappearance.
Personally… I just wanted to sleep.
“W-We were at the store!” Brian replied.
“You were NOT! BOY DON’T LIE TO ME!” his mother yelled.
She was furious! It looked as though she was gonna slap Brian upside his head!
“W-We just went to the store before you were awake, and we
were hanging out. That’s all!” Brian replied.
She stared at Brian – and his dad did too. They were
staring at all of us. I was actually pretty nervous at this point… this seemed
pretty serious. Brian had nothing to say. There wasn’t anything to say. If his
mother or father knew the truth then this situation would get a whole lot
uglier.
“Is this true, Daniel?” their dad asked.
“Yeah we just left a few hours ago” Daniel replied.
However, to all our dismay… this was not the end. This was
actually just the beginning – because his father’s next reply was not what we
wanted to hear.
“I’m disappointed in you both” he replied.
“Do you four think we were just born yesterday?!” Brian’s
mom replied.
“They couldn’t know
about us sneaking out last night!” I thought.
My heart was racing! This was NOT good!
“Do you Brian? Daniel! We know you four snuck out last
night – WHERE were you!?” Brian’s mom shouted.
“W-What!?” Brian replied.
“Where!?” Brian’s mom
“W-We didn’t do anything bad I swear!” Brian replied.
“We just went into the club house we built in the woods –
that’s all” Daniel added. He was beginning to not sound as calm and collected
as he was before.
Both of their parents just stared at them with blank
expressions.
“You four snuck out in the middle of the night and slept
in the woods? That’s ALL?” their dad said.
“But we –“
“Brian SHUSH!” Brian’s mom said, forcing her palm out
towards him, and looking away – in that “Shut the hell up” way.
There was silence. There was a lot of uncomfortable
tension in the air – and we were definitely in trouble.
“You, and YOU” Brian’s mom said, pointing at Seth and then
me with her index finger.
“It’s time to get your things. You’re going home. Either call your parents, or I can drive you… or whatever – but
you’re going home. And YOU and YOU…” she said, then pointing to Brian and
Daniel…
“…are in so much trouble it’s not even funny. We will
continue this conversation later” she said.
We just nodded at their mom. We didn’t dare say anything
that could be stupid and get us into MORE trouble.
“O-Okay – I just have to run upstairs and get my bag” Seth
said.
“Fine, go” Brian’s mom said.
We BOTH practically ran out of the room, and up into the
brothers’ room.
“Holy shit” I said.
“Yeahhh… this is crazy and not
very cool” Seth replied, walking immediately over to the couch he was laying on
last night.
I sighed, and rubbed my face. I was having an adrenaline
rush… Brian and Daniel were really in trouble – and there was nothing we could
do. And to be honest, I really didn’t want to be in the same car with Brian’s
mom right now – and I really didn’t want to wait for my mom to pick me up.
I thought for a moment. It WAS possible to walk to my
house. We were in the same town – it was just on the opposite side of town and
was a decent walk – but nothing extreme.
“Yo’ Seth,
lets just walk back” I said.
“Walk back where… to my house?” Seth asked as he slung his
backpack over one shoulder.
“Yeah man. I don’t want to ditch Brian and Daniel and all
but things are about to get real intense over here and to be honest I dunno if I trust their mom behind the wheel right now” I
said.
I was exaggerating, of course. But he got the point, and
shrugged.
“Uhhh… we could, yeah… we roam
the town in the middle of the night. No reason we couldn’t walk to our block in
broad daylight” he said.
I nodded.
“Okay, let’s go then” I said.
Seth nodded in return, and we exited their room, and went
back downstairs. Brian’s mother rose from her seat, keys in hand – ready to
drive us home.
Seth was ahead of me, and put out his hand.
“Hey. We’re just going to walk back home…” Seth said.
She stopped, and looked at us.
“Huh? Why? Are you sure?” she replied, and we confirmed
that we were definitely sure.
She shrugged in return.
“Fine, that’s okay” she said.
Behind her Brian and Daniel were looking at us, looking very
sad. I honestly felt bad, but I wasn’t going to stick around longer than I had
to. Seth and I left shortly after that, and began our walk back to our houses.
---
Maybe it was because of the situation that Seth and I just
escaped from. Maybe it was my imagination completely. Or maybe it was real… but
for some reason it was now very, very hot outside.
Seth and I walked off of Brian’s street, and walked in the
direction we knew our block was. It would take a small bit of time, but we
lived in a small town. If we had our bikes, it wouldn’t take more than a few
minutes. Since we were walking, though, it would probably take a half-hour at
our rate. And this sun was definitely making the time go slower.
“Man… Brian and Daniel sure won’t be hanging with us for a
long time” Seth said.
I didn’t disagree.
“How long do you think they’ll be grounded for?” I asked.
“Probably for a very long time. I’ve never seen their mom act
like that!” Seth explained.
I nodded.
“Me neither. But I’m not surprised that she would… if I
had kids and they were sneaking out I’d be mad too” I said.
Seth agreed.
“Last night wasn’t that great anyway…” Seth said.
I knew why he would say that. It was partly true in the
first place, but I knew that Seth was also saying that because of what he did
on accident last night. I didn’t even think about bringing it up. I was hoping
he would forget all about what I did to help him there… I didn’t want to think
of a reason to explain myself about why I had a diaper in my bag.
“Yeah things were fun until we left. Things just… didn’t
pick up after that” I said.
“I think it was the dares that did it. They’re just
getting stupid now” Seth said.
Personally… I didn’t mind them. But I did
have to agree… if I was like Seth, and NOT a TB or DL… I would think they were
getting pretty stupid, too. The only reason why Seth did the dares in the first
place was just to keep Brian amused, and to keep me from getting control of all
the pictures that Brian took with his camera.
That reminded me! The camera!
As we were walking, I suddenly stopped, and felt my pocket.
There it was! The camera was still in my pocket!
“What’s up?” Seth asked as we stood on a random corner of
some intersection.
“The camera” I said.
His eyes widened.
“
“You have it right? You got it, right!?” he said.
He began to sound panicked, and even walked toward me.
“Yeah yeah, I just found it in my pocket” I said.
“Let’s stop at your house… we can transfer the pictures
onto your computer, and then I’ll finish and put up mine on my computer when I
get to my house” I explained.
Seth nodded.
“A’ight yeah that sounds good”
he explained.
We kept walking on.
“Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah – I dunno man these dares are stupid now. They were fun a few
months ago but I think Brian just took these a bit too far. And now he’s in
trouble for it. If I go home and my mom finds out that I was sneaking out, I’ll
be dead! It’s not worth it to me” he said.
I thought about it… and he was pretty much right. I hadn’t
even thought about if my mother found out about our little adventure all night.
She would not be pleased, to say the least.
“Well… you’re not mad at Brian, right?” I said.
“Mad? No. But I think he should be acting a little smarter
and stop with the silliness. Like I said they were cool a few months ago but
they’ve gotten old, and the whole diaper-thing is getting stale real fast. It’s
not necessary. It’s almost like he WANTS to wear them or something. Or watch us
wearing them” he explained.
“I dunno about all that…” I
said, in Brian’s defense. I was feeling a lot of negativity and tension here.
Seth seemed mad about it.
“I don’t know what to think. I’m cool with him and yeah
we’re friends. But I think he’s gotten a little too silly with this stuff. I’m
not doing it anymore, man” Seth explained.
I just nodded.
“Well… you’re still… going to hang out with him, right?
You’re not gonna just not be cool with him anymore
right?” I asked. This was concerning me!
“Oh no. No, I’ll still be friends.
Nothing has changed like that. I’m just done with this silly diaper stuff” Seth
replied.
I took a sigh of relief… this is okay with me. The last
thing I wanted was for Seth to stop hanging out with us, or to start hating any
of us. I didn’t want that to happen at all with anyone.
We were a crew of friends, and often it felt like absolutely
nothing could separate us. And that’s the way I wanted it to be.
---
Neither of us brought anything else from the night before.
Seth never asked about the diaper in my bag, and neither of us ever brought up
his wet diaper. We didn’t even talk about Brian or Daniel that much longer, and
moved onto more general things. We talked all the way until we were at his
house.
We stepped inside of his air-conditioned house, and
immediately went up the stairs into his room. His room was still kind of messy
but not as much as it was when I had found his brother’s pacifier.
We stepped over to the computer, and I pulled out the
camera. Since I didn’t have the USB cable to transfer the pictures from the
camera, we had to use Seth’s (he has a camera, himself so we used his cable).
He transferred any and all pictures involving him into his
computer, and then gave the camera back.
I went home shortly after finishing up there, and did the
same at my house on my computer. I don’t have a digital camera so I had to
borrow Seth’s cable.
I jacked the cable into the computer, and connected the
camera. In a short amount of time, after my computer had recognized the device,
I browsed through the camera’s memory and browsed the pictures.
I simply smirked at the silliness of the pictures. As
revolted as Seth seemed when we were walking back to my house, I personally was
okay with it. But that was only because I am a TB. I couldn’t imagine what it’d
be like for someone like Seth to deal with what we went through last night.
I just shrugged, and uploaded all of the pictures that
were available. All of them included me in one way or another… and Brian, too.
Sometimes even Seth was there. I thought these pictures were useless and
stupid… but I wasn’t going to let Seth have them all. I trusted him a great
deal but I wouldn’t dare give anyone that much blackmail material without a
little bit of something to throw back. That’s common sense.
These were blackmail photos, pure and simple. And although
I know Seth wouldn’t’ ever use them for blackmail; it never hurt to have a few
pictures with him in diapers, too – which there were a few of. No one was
innocent, so the playing field was even.
“Chapter Eighteen, Summer Outro”
Summer days passed, one-by-one. The sun grew hotter and
hotter, too – and there was sometimes a thunderstorm to even things out. But
although the weather was the same like any other summer – things did change
after we got in trouble for sneaking out.
Brian and Daniel were grounded for a very long time.
Several weeks! And that wasn’t all, either. It was only a matter of time before
Seth’s parents found out, and my mother. The day after we got caught, Brian’s
parents called Seth’s parents, and then my mother and explained everything.
We were all grounded.
For the entire month of July we never hung out. I grew
bored, but I quite often kept myself occupied with my diapers and computer. I
don’t know about Seth, Brian, or Daniel.
---
“So how are things?” I read.
I was talking to my friend Luke online.
“Things are okay. I’m bored… it’s been so long since I’ve
gone outside… I’m starting to go stir-crazy!” I admitted.
“lol”
he replied.
As I was talking to Luke, I was also looking on the forum
that I visited often: ‘Teens Who Love Diapers’. It was the website that I was a
regular on. The members there had grown to like me, and I thought I was pretty
active and contributed positive things.
“So did you finish reading that on story?” Luke asked.
I was spending a good amount of my free time reading
diaper stories lately. There were a lot of good ones, and a lot of bad ones.
But I loved reading diaper stories… they were so cool.
“Nah not yet” I replied.
I was reading a certain story for the last day or two that
were really large in size. The author was really dedicated.
“Getting close though. I’m pretty much at the end I
think” I replied.
“Cool” Luke replied,
As I sat there, chatting away. Suddenly my phone started
ringing.
“Hold up” I typed to Luke.
I sat up, and grabbed my phone.
“Hello?” I asked.
“
It was Brian.
“Brian! Whoa what’s up man?” I replied.
“I’m not grounded anymore. We’re allowed to hang again!”
Brian replied.
“SWEET” I replied.
“Man I’ve been going crazy over here” I said.
“Me too! We gotta
chill today man” I heard.
“Definitely, let’s do it” I said.
“Awesome. Okay look, I’ll hop on my bike. Can you call
Seth and see if he wants to hang out, too? We can meet each other somewhere.
Maybe the park or something” Brian said.
“Yeah sure, no problem. Sounds good” I said.
“Awesome. Call me and let me know what’s up” Brian
replied.
“Definitely. I’ll call you in a minute” I
said, before hanging up the phone.
I was suddenly so much more excited! It had been SO LONG
since we could hang out. It seemed like forever! Immediately, I dialed the number
to Seth’s house. The phone rang, before shortly after…
“Hello?” I heard.
It was Seth.
“Hey what’s up man, it’s
“Oh hey, what’s up?” he replied.
His voice didn’t seem as eager as I was expecting… but I
didn’t pay any attention to it.
“Dude, guess what? Brian and Daniel aren’t grounded
anymore!” I said.
“Let’s hang out!” I finished.
There was silence on the other end of the phone,
surprisingly.
“Oh. Sweet… but I can’t man. Sorry. I’m going somewhere
today” Seth said.
There was a certain level of apathy in his voice that I
could easily detect. I was almost willing to say that he was lying.
“Oh… really?” I asked.
“Yeah. I can’t hang out today man.
Sorry” he said.
“Alright… that’s fine… I’ll uh… talk to you later, then?”
I asked.
“Yeah, sure thing” he replied.
That’s when we hung up the phone. It was a very brief,
strange conversation. I didn’t know why Seth would lie… so I had to take his
word for it. But it was pretty much obvious that he was lying.
I shrugged, and called Brian immediately.
“Hey, is Seth coming out?” Brian asked.
“Hey man. Nah… Seth can’t come out” I replied.
“Huh? Why not?” Brian asked.
“I don’t know. He said he was busy, but he said maybe
tomorrow or something” I explained to Brian.
Seth had never said anything about tomorrow, but I was
assuming.
“Oh. Okay… well, where will we meet at?” Brian asked.
“Let’s go to the park. That place is cool” I replied.
“Alright, I’ll see you in a bit!” Brian replied.
---
That day was spent like any other regular summer day
between friends. We went to the park, talked, rode bikes, and had a great time
doing it. But day did turn to night, and we all went home.
The same could be said about the next day, too. I called
Seth, but Seth didn’t seem like he wanted to hang out. And instead, it would
just be me, Brian, and Daniel.
The days then turned to weeks. We were two weeks into
August, and we had all grown used to going outside by then. But the fact that
Seth still hadn’t left his house was bothering all of us.
But it wasn’t until a certain day that things hit the fan,
and something very unlike what I was used to experiencing, happened.
It was a day like any other. I was talking with Luke, and
was in my room minding my business.
“Hmmm… I don’t know what I should write about” I typed.
“Well… it’ll be a diaper story, right?” Luke asked.
“Of course” I replied.
“Well then there’s nothing to ask. It’s about diapers!” he
said.
I was brainstorming ideas for a story to write… I was
bored, and had some free time – and I loved reading other diaper stories. I was
finally getting used to the idea of writing my own!
Suddenly, though – the phone rang. It was about 1PM, so I
knew it was Brian. I picked up.
“Hello?” I asked.
“DUDE” I heard. It was definitely Brian.
“Yo” I said.
“DUDE. HAVE YOU TALKED TO SETH LATELY!?”
I heard.
Brian sounded both furious and shocked!
“N-No, why? What’s up?” I asked.
None of us had heard from Seth in a long while. This was
news!
“The kid just… I can’t even explain it. He just said he never
wanted to talk to me again!” he said.
“What!?” I replied.
My heart stopped. What was this?
“Y-Yeah! I called him like ten minutes
ago, and he told me not to call his house and that we’re done being friends!”
Brian said.
“Why!?” I replied.
“I DON’T KNOW!” he replied.
“…was he serious!? You’re sure he was serious?” I asked.
“Dude I don’t’ even know. But he sounded like it and I’m
like flipping out pissed because he said other crap too” Brian said.
“Like what?” I asked.
“Just stupid crap! Enough to piss me off! I’m
seriously about to have Daniel go over there and kick his ass!” Brian said.
“Whoa whoa, wait” I said.
This was too much to take in… I didn’t get it! But the
idea of Daniel going to Seth’s house to beat him up was a possibility if Seth
had insulted Brian that bad. Daniel WAS his older brother,
and I could easily see it being done.
“Look man, I’ll go to Seth’s house right now. Don’t send
Daniel over – just calm down. Don’t do anything stupid. He was probably just playin’ or something. No need for this” I explained.
“No
“No way” I replied.
“Yeah!” Brian replied.
Something here was not right… not right one bit. Nothing
added up… but somehow, I got a flashback of the conversation we had had when we
were walking back to my house, all those weeks ago before we got grounded. I
felt like somehow his pent up anger or feelings about Brian might have gotten
the best of him. Maybe he was just still mad that he got in trouble!
But either way, we were all friends and none of us EVER
fought. Not verbally, and definitely not physically. This was serious, and it
needed to be resolved. Now.
“No man… I don’t believe that… look, I’m going to Seth’s
house. You chill, and I’ll call you and let you know what the deal is,
alright?” I said.
There was silence.
“If you think you can do something about it, do it. But
I’m telling you he’ll just say the same crap to you he just said to me over the
phone” Brian said.
“Relax, I can handle it” I said.
Brian didn’t know about our conversation all those weeks
ago. I knew that he was feeling weird about Brian… and I also knew he didn’t
feel that way about me. There was absolutely no reason to be mad at me.
---
It was a very quick trip from my house to Seth’s. I road
my bike over and didn’t even stop to get off my bike properly. Instead I simply
hopped off the bike, and kept running all the way up to his front door.
I knocked, and knocked, and knocked – and didn’t stop
knocking until someone answered the door (in other words, my hand never stopped
knocking for a second, and just kept going continuously).
The door swung open, revealing Seth on the other side of
the door. He looked mad, and aggravated… certainly not the way I was used to
seeing him.
“What?” he asked.
I looked at him, shocked.
“What do you mean what? What the hell is going on man? I
just got a phone call from Brian” I said.
“Yeah, I told him what needed to be said. I told him never
to call me again, and that we weren’t friends. I told him like it was” he
explained to me.
His voice was callous… he sounded like he couldn’t have
cared less about anything that was going on.
“Why dude?” I asked.
“Don’t you worry about why” he said, practically talking
down to me.
“Brian’s an annoying little ADD kid and I think he’s an
ass. If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t have just wasted half my summer being
grounded” he explained.
“…that’s it? That’s what all of this is about? Because you got grounded?” I asked.
“No – not just that” he snapped, stepping out onto his
porch.
He shut the screen door behind him, and his voice had an
attitude.
“There are other reasons why I’m not going to hang out
with him anymore” Seth said.
“Like what?” I asked.
“None of your business!” he immediately snapped back.
My mouth was hanging wide open. I couldn’t believe this!
“And what about me? Brian said you were done hanging
out with ALL of us” I said.
“Pft. I said nothing about you. That’s
my point exactly – he lied. That proves my point: he’s annoying and now he’s a
liar” Seth added.
“So what, you and I are still friends?” I asked.
He looked at me like I was an idiot.
“Well I…” he said.
Suddenly his eyes widened, and he backed away. His chin
went up, and he took a breath in.
“…yeah
“I have no problems with you. Just with Brian. I would say
Daniel too but I know he’s going to defend his brother” Seth said.
I just stared at Seth, completely in disbelief. The way he
had just said that we were still friends seemed so… incredibly insincere. I
couldn’t tell if he meant it like that or not… and I certainly didn’t want to
get caught up in this argument.
“Look man I don’t know what’s up with you. You can be mad
at Brian all you want but you don’t need to say you’ll beat his ass” I said.
He shrugged.
“Oh come on
I shrugged.
“Still man why the hell take it
that far?” I asked.
“Not only that – but he’s lying again. I didn’t say I
wanted to kick his ass. I said I know that Daniel’s going to get pissed off,
and if either of them come over I’m kicking Brian’s
ass” he explained.
I didn’t want to hear it.
“This is ridiculous!” I said.
He just shrugged again.
“You’re buddy-buddy with him. Just tell him yourself.
Look, I know you want to like… be the mediator here and all that fun stuff. But
it’s done. I’m not saying another word to that little asshole” Seth finished.
I shrugged. I had nothing left to say… Seth was definitely
sure of what he was saying, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
I just stared at him and he gave me a narrow-eyed stare of
assurance.
“Well… okay… I guess I’m going to go. Do you want to hang
out sometime? Maybe tomorrow?” I asked.
I had to absorb everything… and I didn’t want to hang with
anyone anymore. Most of all I was hoping this drama would be over. Somehow
though… I felt like it was only the beginning.
“Yeah hit me up” Seth said.
I nodded, walked up to my bike, and road away from his
house, toward my own.
---
I walked into my room, and immediately picked up the phone
and dialed Brian’s number.
“Hello?” Brian asked.
He seemed to have calmed down by now.
“I talked to Seth” I said.
“Yeah and what’d he say?” Brian replied.
“Eh… it was just a bunch of crap. I don’t know what’s up with him man” I replied.
“I told you. The kid has lost his mind!” Brian said.
“I guess. I don’t know what’s up, but yeah he’s mad about
something and I’m not sure what” I said.
“I don’t get it either” Brian replied.
“…but if this is how he wants to act about it, and not man
up… then he can go to hell for all I care” Brian angrily stated.
“I’m sure all of this will blow over” I replied.
“No man – I don’t think it will. If this is how he wants
to act then screw him. He owes me an apology” Brian then said.
I had nothing to say.
Our conversation didn’t really go much farther than that.
Brian was as stiff as Seth was, and I had no idea which side to get on. Seth
had suddenly begun hating Brian, but claims that Brian did things that made
Seth hate him. Brian claims he did nothing and is innocent. I was completely
shocked from the sudden tension on both sides.
We eventually concluded our conversation… I simply
believed, though – that this fight would soon end and things would be good
again. But time didn’t make that happen. The next day,
nothing. The day after that… still nothing.
It eventually came to a week before school begun, and we
were still no longer the group of friends we were only a month ago. Something
major had changed… there was so much tension.
A feud had begun, and I was stuck in the middle of it,
blind. I didn’t know what was going on, but each day passed and I had to listen
to both sides complain about the other. All I wanted was for us to become
friends, but it seemed that each day that passed actually only added to the
tension of things.
Little did I know, however – as the final days of summer
passed by, what was going to happen over the next few months. Fall was coming,
and school was beginning.
This was going to become my first full year of school in a
new school. I still didn’t know many people, and many people didn’t know me. I
was nervous, and this time… it felt like I was going into school for the first
time ever.
I was stuck between two fighting best friends, and was
going into a school where I only knew those two friends. Things were about to
get a whole lot more complicated… and I could feel it.
To me, it felt like a coming storm… where you didn’t know
how bad it was going to be, but you knew it was on its way. Things were about
to get a whole lot more tense.
School drama was about to weigh its heavy burden right
into my life… and I didn’t believe that I was ready.
The story continues. Story III coming soon!
Story written by Baby Jake ([email protected])