1951

This is a true story on how I started wearing diapers again. As you can see from the title this took place a long time ago. For that reason I can't remember precisely what was said so needless to say  I have taken some liberties with the dialog but it's pretty darn close. The timeline and occurrences are very accurate.

PART 1                                                              curiosity

I was In first grade.  My aunt would often come over to the house with her son who was about two years old and in diapers. I would see him walking around and taking naps in them and sometimes I would wonder how it would feel to wear one.
Thinking about it would make me feel kind of funny in a oddly pleasant way. One afternoon I was going out the front door when I saw my aunts diaper bag next to the couch and couldn't resist looking in it. In it was a couple of folded diapers some pins and powder and a pair of baby pants. Suddenly I got the idea to take the baby pants into my closet and try them on. My mom and aunt were in the kitchen having coffee so I pulled them out and put them down the front of my pants and took off for my room. Getting in the closet  I pulled them up and they were so small I was just barely able to get them over my shorts. I was nervous and scared by what I was doing. I stood there for a few minutes just touching them. Suddenly it occurred to me that if my aunt went into that bag and found them missing I was a dead duck she would know it had to be me. Pulling them off real quick I hurried back to the bag and put them back just like I found them. I ran out the front door. I knew what I had done was wrong but couldn't help thinking how good it made me feel. The idea of going in and confessing was out of the question I was so embarrassed and confused  there was no way I could bring myself to do it. I made up my mind I was never going to do that again and from then on whenever my aunt would come over I would avoid her and her son like the plague.
 

PART 2                                          A FEW MONTHS LATER

 I had not felt well for a couple of days and was getting worse. I hadn't said anything to my mom about feeling sick and did my best to hide it from the very beginning because at school we had a field trip scheduled to a fire station and  I was crazy about fire trucks. I had waited two weeks for the trip and wasn't about to miss it. The morning of the tour I got up and really felt bad.  I knew if I got anywhere near mom she would know I was sick and I wouldn't be going anywhere so I pretended to be late and yelled goodbye to mom and slipped out the front  She normally would have chased me down and made me eat breakfast but I guess she knew how excited I was about the fire station tour and just let it go..
When I got to school my sides hurt so bad I wanted to cry. I went into the bathroom and vomited and felt a little better. We walked to the fire station and started the tour and before long I vomited all over their floor and down the front of me. The teacher checked me and said I had a fever and was going to call my mom. A little while later mom showed up to walk me home. The teacher told her that several of my classmates had been down with  the flu the last few days and was sure that's what I had. When we got home mom put me right to bed. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. That evening mom tried to get me to eat but I couldn't. The next morning I was worse and my sides felt like someone had kicked me in them. I didn't tell mom about my sides hurting because I knew she would take me to the doctors and didn't want any part of that. I slept the rest of the day and that night.
The next morning  mom came in. I had wet the bed and there was blood in my urine, I was covered in sweat and both my sides were so sore I couldn't even sit up. I was turning yellow from jaundice and  mom just about flipped out and hurriedly called my dad at work and he said he would be home in a few minutes and take us to the doctors and for mom to call ahead and tell him we were coming in. Dad had to carry  me because I had the worlds worst case of the spinners and was so weak and my sides hurt so bad I couldn't walk. The doc had me pee in a cup and went into another room. When he returned he told my parents I had nephritis which was a very severe and dangerous kidney and bladder infection and had to go to the children's hospital at once. He called ahead and arranged to have me checked in.

As soon as we got there the nurses put me in a treatment room and they started IV's in both arms. by this time I was so out of it I didn't care what they did. Years later talking to my mom she said when I was admitted I was nearly in complete kidney and renal failure and went into a coma for four straight days. They had massive doses of antibiotics going in the IV and had to give me chilling baths continuously to try and control the fever. They told my parents it was a about a 50/50 chance that my kidneys would shut down completely and then renal failure would finish me off. They said the next 72 hours would be the most critical.and if I did make it I was going to have major kidney and bladder damage. Also because the fever was so severe and hard to get under control it was possible I would suffer some brain damage . My dad was a yardmaster for the union pacific railroad and had a reputation in the rail yard as fair and honest, but one very tough man who rarely showed any emotion. When the doctors gave them the prognosis mom said it was the only time in her entire life she had ever seen him cry. She never forgave herself for not taking me to the doctors sooner but figured I had the flu like the rest of the kids.

When I woke up I guess it was on the fourth day it was dark outside and I didn't know where I was. In the room were three beds that had wires and tubes all over the wall  behind them. The other two beds were empty.
A nurse was at a desk reading and noticed me moving and came over. She asked me if I was thirsty and I had never been more thirsty in my life. She got a glass of water from the stand with a straw and held it so I could drink.
I was still about half out of it and asked where I was and where my parents were. She explained that I was in the hospital and said my parents had just left to go home and get a some rest and would they would be back in the morning.
Both arms were taped to small boards and had IV's in them and there was a tube in my nose. My wrists were tied to the bed rails with gauze strips to prevent the IV's from being pulled out. I asked the nurse to untie them and take the tube out but she said they would have to stay in for the night. I blacked out again.

 When I woke it was morning and my parents were there and said the nurse had called them last night to tell them I had regained consciousness and appeared to have gotten through it ok  They returned to the hospital and even though it was against the rules the nurses let them sit with me the rest of the night. The doctor came a little later and told my parents the tube could come out that morning but the IV's would stay in one more day along with the catheter . My parents left right after  the doctor did. When they took the tube out of my nose it hurt like crazy because my throat was raw and it almost made me vomit. I was pretty groggy and slept most of the day and all that night. The next morning I woke up when two nurses came over to my bed and removed the IV's and when they started removing the catheter it was the first time I was aware of it being there and more than anything else that really scared me. They gave me a sponge bath. One of them came back and had a diaper and baby pants along with a clean gown. As they started putting it on me I told them  "  I don't wear diapers"  but they said   " you have to have it on so you just lay still and we'll be done in a minute" she pulled it up between my legs and pinned it closed then put the baby pants under me and snapped the sides together . They sat me up to put the gown on then covered me up.
The nurses went back to their desk and I laid there completely stunned at what had just happened. The diaper felt like I had a pillow between my legs I could hear the baby pants rustling with the slightest movement. I remembered the time in my closet when I tried on the baby pants from my aunts bag and wondered what it would be like with a diaper under them instead of my shorts. Well now I knew and it wasn't anything like I expected. I was wore out and after a few minutes fell back asleep.

Later when I awoke I was instantly aware of  the diaper and begged the nurse to take it off. She went over to a cabinet and returned with another and started changing me. I pleaded with her the whole time not to make me wear it and she said just take it easy and we would talk about it later. I told her I was going to take it off and she " if you do I'll have to retie your hands to the side rails like they were before". I was trapped not only would she put it back on me but my hands would be tied as well and knew my folks were sure to find out. That afternoon when I saw my parents coming in with the doctor and I brought my knees up to hide the bulge of the diaper from showing through the covers.
The nurse asked my mom to go out in the hall. When they came back in  mom said  "The nurse tells me your upset about the diapers. Honey you have been so sick that your insides are hurt and for awhile your not going to be able to hold it till you get to the bathroom so for the time being you are going to have to wear them. They can't have you wetting the bed because everything has to be kept real clean so you can get well. I want your promise you won't argue with them anymore about it ".
Stunned disbelief is the only way I can describe that moment. The nurse said lots of kids wear them when they are in the hospital and dad said " they'll just help you get better so you can go home ".  I slowly lowered my knees in as I went into shock.

 The doc told my parents I was going to get shots of antibiotics every few hours and my blood would have to be tested twice a day . They would do tests to determine the level of kidney function that was left and what if any other damage had been done. I  wouldn't be released until the tests were completed and the antibiotics had gotten me stabilized and if every thing went well it should be about a week to ten days. When my parents left the nurse came over to my bed uncovered me and put her hand against the baby pants in the crotch area and then went to the cabinet. That's the first time I got a good look at the diaper. It was covered by a pair of  snap on baby pants that were basically white with tiny little yellow dots all over them and the vinyl was much heavier than the ones I had tried on in the closet. I guess they were made heavier because they were for hospital use. The nurse brought over a new diaper and pants with some powder and started changing me. I promised to go to the bathroom if she wouldn't put it back on and she said "your mom told you not to argue, remember".
The whole time I was praying somebody wouldn't come into the room and see me. When she finished she covered me up and told me if I had to poop to let her know and she would take it off and get me a bed pan. Having not eaten anything solid in days that wasn't going to be for a while. They woke me up and took the diaper off to give me the shots and put a new one back on. Taking the blood samples from my arms hurt a lot. It seemed like every couple of  hours while I was awake the nurse would check me to see if I was wet which I usually was. I wasn't to concerned about being wet. With typical six year old logic I figured it was automatic that if you had a diaper on you would use it and if you didn't you would hold it for the bathroom. I was just wishing they could understand that. I think it was the third or fourth day after I woke up when that evening my parents came back and the nurse told them I was going to be moved to a ward the next morning. "How about I get a wheel chair and we can go up there and see the ward " she said
 I told her I didn't want to go.  There'll be other kids to play with and lots of toys and things. I don't want to go I said. I think I know what the problem is she told mom. I'll get you a robe to wear and put a blanket over you so you'll be all covered up and with that she went and got the chair. When she took the covers off me I was so preoccupied at the thought of having to leave the room I was half in the robe before it dawned on me that mom and dad was standing there. By this time I wasn't upset about wearing them in front of the nurses anymore but when my parents saw me with it on I wanted to find a rock and crawl under it and never come out.
 

PART 3                                                                 the ward
 We went out into the hallway and to the elevator. When we got to the third floor instead of empty white walls this floor was painted with rainbows and had all kinds of kids stuff painted on them. We went  to a door that was next to a row of windows were you could look in from the hallway.
 A nurses desk was just inside the door and my parents talked to the new nurse and told her why we were there. She said hi to us and to go ahead and look around. There was about fifteen beds. A long row of them by the windows facing outside and smaller rows about half way down the two sides. In the middle was a play area with pads on the floor with  books and toys on them.  Most of the beds were occupied as it was getting late. Suddenly I noticed a girl about my age laying on her stomach in one of the beds by the window. She was looking at me through the bars on the side on the side of the bed and was wearing a gown like the one I had on. They were yellow with cartoon animals printed on them and came down just above the knees. Her gown was all scrunched up to her waist and she was wearing a diaper and baby pants.  The back wall had a door leading to the bathroom. Next to it was a large cabinet with a padded top. The shelves below were filled with diapers and baby pants and on a smaller shelf attached to the wall  a couple of feet above the pad was some powder and a bar of soap in a dish with diaper pins sticking all over in it. We went back to my room and after saying goodnight to my parents they  gave me another shot and a fresh diaper. I started thinking about the girl in the ward. How could she do that? How could she just lay there with everybody seeing it? How am I going to wear them in front of all those kids?  Wait a minute, why was I thinking about how I COULD wear them? And then it occurred to me that over the last couple of days while I was still terribly embarrassed that anybody especially my parents knew I was in diapers I was also beginning to feel a strange calm and soothing sense of comfort from them. Maybe I was brain damaged after all.
 The next morning  I had to drink some stuff that tasted like chalk and wasn't allowed to eat anything. A few minutes later we  went to x-ray for some tests. the nurse pulled my gown way up by my chin and unpinned one side of the diaper and slid it down by my knees. As soon as they took the photos she pulled it back up and repinned it. Next we went to see the doctor and it was a new one I hadn't seen before. He told me he was going to do a test to check my bladder and that it might hurt a little bit but knew I was tough and could take it. I'll just say this, the test involved a tube in all the wrong places and he was almost right it did hurt, and it wasn't a little bit. That's all he said you did fine. Get me out of here. We went to the elevator and the nurse said she would get me some breakfast as soon as I was settled in the ward. I looked for the girl but she was gone. I wondered if she wore a diaper home. Both nurses took me to a bed by the window and put me in it. The bed was smaller than the one in the room and this one had sides that pulled way up. All the way around the top was a frame with rings like in a shower on it. They started taking the robe off me and I tried to both pull the covers up and the gown down at the same time to hide the diaper. The new nurse got my chart and reached up to a long plastic panel across the top front rail. It had a place for the patients name and doctors name. She filled all that out with a big blue felt pen. Next was a place for medications and she put that up there. Last was a big long square for nurses instructions. She wrote in great big blue letters DIAPERS. The only thing missing was the flashing neon arrows. The old nurse said goodbye and left. Next the new nurse came over to the a stand next to my bed and put down a stack of diapers and baby pants with a can of powder.
 I quickly looked around and none of the other kids had paid any attention. When it came time for the first change she did it right there in the bed and I looked out the window so I wouldn't see the kids staring at me. I got a little teasing from some of the kids when the nurses couldn't hear but nothing like I expected. When I had to go number two they would let me walk to the bathroom and take the diaper off so I could do my business. When done they would take me out to the changing table by the door and diaper me where everybody walking down the hallway could watch. One day a kid in the bed across from mine started crying and having a fit and his mother said if you don't stop acting like a baby their going to put diapers on you like him. I loved the wearing them so much by that time I thought you should be so lucky.
 

part 4                                                                   home

 It was a week to the day when I went to the ward that I was to be released to go home. Mom and dad came that morning and they had a bag with them. I had already resigned to the fact that this was my last day in diapers and felt terrible even though I was going home. Mom took a pair of pj's and a robe out of the bag and handed them to the nurse. She put the bottoms on right over the diaper and then the top and robe. I was still embarrassed when my parents saw me in them. I waited for mom to say something to the nurse about leaving the diaper on but she never said a word.  We got in the wheelchair and went to the entrance. Dad had left a few minutes before to get the car and was waiting out front with it. On the way home I came up with a plan to steal the baby pants out of the trash and hide them after they took them off me at the house. When we got home mom said  I should lay down and take a nap. I didn't argue at all because I still tired very easy and was beat. We got to my room and mom took the robe off me and asked if I was wet. I said no and she said jump in bed and covered me up. I was really surprised she didn't take it off me then but knew she would when I woke up.
 When I awoke mom was sitting on the edge of the bed looking at me. She said she was glad I was back home. Then she got up and went over to my dresser and opened the top drawer. She took out a diaper and baby pants with some powder. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Honey it's going to be a while before you can stay dry so were going to continue with the diapers for now. I said ok and tried to look disappointed so I wouldn't give myself away but wanted to jump up and shout
I deserved an Oscar nomination for that one. She uncovered me and pulled my pajama bottoms off and unsnapped the baby pants. She unpinned the diaper putting the pins in the front of her blouse. She told me to lift up and put the new diaper under me and I turned beet red. Why are you blushing? This isn't the first time I have seen you in a diaper you know. Who do you think diapered you when you were a baby? I knew that but it was still embarrassing. She sprinkled the powder on and brought the diaper up and across the front of me. The ones at the hospital felt good but were not what you would call comfortable. This one was as soft and light as a cloud even though it was much thicker and felt wonderful.
 The baby pants were all white and pull on style. They were light weight and silky soft  AND QUIET  they hardly made a sound. The hospital ones were somewhat snug fitting and would kind of chafe me around the legs and were so noisy you could hear them crackle every time you moved. These were big and roomy and felt absolutely great. I had died and gone to heaven.
She went back to the dresser and took a T shirt and pajama bottoms off the top and put the pj's on me then the shirt. This shirt will cover your bottom and I thought you might like that she said. It was extra long it almost came down to my knees, I don't know where she got it but it was very considerate of her. I got up and went into the living room and dad had gone back to work.
Our front door had a small diamond shaped window in it and for days I found my self constantly checking  that window to be sure somebody wasn't looking in. I had an aunt named ruth who lived just a few houses down the street and she had came over virtually every week day for coffee with mom for as long as I could remember. You could always hear her coming up the front walk saying hello in a way that was a cross between a yell and singing. Whenever I heard her coming I would run to my room jump in bed and cover up till she left.  One morning I was laying on the couch listening to the radio and mom came over to me and said give me you pajama bottoms so I can wash them and I took them off and gave them to her. The shirt was long enough to keep me covered so I continued to lay on the couch. I had just been setup and didn't know it. A few minutes later I heard my mom in the kitchen start to giggle and looked up over the back of the couch to see what was so funny and here came Aunt Ruth through the kitchen door making a beeline straight for me. I knew exactly what she had in mind and was powerless to prevent it.
 She reached over the back of the couch and grabbed me under the arms and pulled me up and put me on her hip. How come you run to bed every time I come over? While at the same time planting her free hand right square on my bottom. I just shrugged my shoulders and looked at mom and she was grinning like a Cheshire cat. Hey! what's this under your shirt?  Another shrug. If I didn't know better I'd swear it was a diaper. Shrug. We better have a look and she pulled the side of the shirt up. By golly I was right I can see the diaper right there under your rubber pants. I just grinned and didn't say anything. You know this isn't the first time I have seen you with a diaper on. I used to change you when you were a baby. Where had I heard that one before? The question was who hadn't diapered me as a baby. I was glad it was finally out in the open with her because I was getting tired of hiding every time she came over. Now you don't have to hide from me anymore and she put me back down on the couch. They went into the kitchen and had a good chuckle that their plan had worked so well. Mom didn't drive so when I had to go to the doctors Aunt Ruth would take us. When we got to the doctors office the waiting room was filled with parents and their kids. One boy about two was laying on the floor drinking from a baby bottle with his diaper clearly showing through the bottom of his shorts. I wondered if he liked wearing them the way I did. After the appointment we went to a department store. I  rode in the basket. Mom had bought me pants that had lots of extra room in them  and when I wore with my long shirt nobody could tell I was wearing a diaper. We went into the clothing department and passed a mirror when I saw the back of my shirt was hung up on the back of the seat and the baby pants were showing out the top of the pants. I shoved the shirt down in the back real fast and started looking around to see if anybody had seen it. It seemed like everybody was looking and I couldn't wait to get out of there.  The school had arranged to have a tutor come to the house so I wouldn't fall behind and she was the walking example of the word battleaxe. I hated her and when I saw that big old brown Hudson coming up the driveway  It's all I could do not to run out the back door. A couple of  my fiends had come over to see me when I got home from the hospital. I was in bed and well covered up and mom knew I was scared to death they would catch on so she told them I had to have lots of rest and they could only stay a minute. There were two times that I went into a panic. My best friend Jimmy came over a couple of days after I got home and came into my room. He asked how I felt and what was it like in the hospital. Then out of the blue he said I heard our moms talking one day when you were in the hospital and your mom said you have to wear diapers now. I pleaded with him not to tell anyone .He promised he wouldn't and to his credit I don't think he ever did. He asked me how long I had to wear them I told him I didn't know and he said he would wet the bed before he would wear one. I told him I didn't have a choice that my parents made me wear them. After he left I told mom what Jimmy said about overhearing them and asked her why she told his mom. She said she was very sorry that he overheard and promised she wouldn't tell anyone else. The other panic attack was on a weekend. Mom and I had walked down to aunt Ruth's for a visit. Mom had this folding wood cloths drying rack set up in the garage that she would hang my baby pants on to dry because the dryer ruined them. Dad was working around the house and probably needed something from the garage and didn't think about it. When we came back home and turned up the driveway the garage door was up and the rack was sitting there fully loaded with several pairs. The neighbors and kids were all over the place. I ran to the garage but couldn't reach the door so I pulled the rack way to the back behind a floor cabinet. Mom said she would talk to dad and ask him to be more careful.
 
 

part 5                                 ANN OF A THOUSAND DREAMS

 Mom told me one night that in the morning her and dad was going out of town for a couple of days to a railroad convention and that Ann was going to baby-sit me while they were gone. Well let me tell you about Ann. She was my cousin in her early twenties and was very pretty. Her husband was in the Air Force overseas and she lived across town by herself. I had always had a little kid's crush on her and loved to be around her. However, she was the last person in the world I wanted to know about my secret. I asked mom to let Aunt Ruth baby-sit me and she said that was impossible because she and her husband who also worked for the railroad was going with them. I felt like the whole world had just fallen in on me. Late the next morning when my parents were about to leave Ann pulled up out front. I had already figured out what to do. I went into my bedroom and dropped my pajama bottoms real quick and unpinned one side of the diaper and slid it off and hid it under my bed. I put the pajama bottoms back on and went back out to the living room. Mom gave me a kiss and happily she didn't give me a pat on the rear like she sometimes did and the long shirt did it's job. After they left Ann and I sat on the couch and talked. Like I said earlier about the six year old logic I didn't think I needed them and could use the toilet for a couple of days. Everything was going fine then suddenly I started flooding all over the place and jumped up from the couch in horror and ran for the bathroom. Ann followed me in there and said " why aren't you wearing a diaper your supposed to have it on?"  The sudden realization that my parents were right and I did need to wear diapers after all plus what I had just done in front of Ann was too much and I started crying and shaking . She hugged me and didn't say anything until I calmed down. She asked me again why I wasn't wearing it. I told her I didn't want her to know about them and also what I had done when she arrived. She turned on the bath water and took my clothes off and helped me in the tub then picked up the wet clothes and left. Having her see me naked bothered me somewhat but not nearly as much as what was ahead. She had been gone for a long time and when she came in I knew what was coming. She dried me off then picked me up and started for my bedroom. I saw the diaper laid out on the bed and started crying and shaking all over again. She just held me and kept saying it will be all right. Finally when I settled down some she laid me on top of it. Now you relax and everything is going to be just fine and she picked up the baby powder and began putting it on me. Her voice was as gentle and sweat as an angels. When she finished sprinkling the powder she took her index finger and swiped it across the top of the can and then lightly touched it under my nose "doesn't that smell good?" I had learned to love that smell. She brought the diaper up between my legs and it was immediately obvious that it was thicker than any I had ever worn. As she was pinning it she said " I'm going to take good care of you and you don't have to worry about a thing. She picked up the baby pants and shook them out and instinctively I lifted my feet. When she saw me do that she smiled and said in that soft whispering voice "see this isn't so bad after all is it?" She started putting them on me and said were almost done now. Here was the last person I ever wanted to know about it let alone doing it to me and now I was wishing it could last for ever. When she finished she stood me up on the bed and checked to make sure all the diaper was covered. Pulling me to her in a hug me she patted my well diapered rear a few times and asked how's that feel?  Absentmindedly I blurted out what I was thinking  " THICK BUT REAL GOOD" with that she backed up a little so she could see my face and  smiled at my slip of the tongue. I felt my face turn as red a fire truck. It's thick because I want you to lay down for a nap and it will keep you comfortable. She lifted me to the floor and handed me my pillow and said lets go into the front room and take a nap. I need my long shirt I said. It was wet to so I put it in the washer with your pajama bottoms and you can have them when you wake up. We walked down or rather I waddled down the hall to the barely audible sound of the baby pants. This was the first time I had ever came out of my room without being covered up and somehow didn't care. Ann sat on the end of the couch and put the pillow next to her then pulled me up and laid me down with my stomach on the pillow and my head on her lap. She started stroking my hair with one hand and gently patting and rubbing my diapered bottom with the other. The sound was ecstasy. I quickly fell asleep.
 When I awoke Ann was in the kitchen making dinner. I just lay there quietly until she came in to check on me. When she found I was awake she left and then come back in a moment a diaper and changed me on the couch. As she was doing it I was sort of smiling and she said  "Well it's nice to see you smiling for a change"  True to her word she had my long shirt and pj's ready. We had dinner and then just talked about whatever came to mind. She said when I was in the hospital the whole family was hoping and praying  that I would be ok. Your folks didn't sleep for days until they knew you were going to be all right she said.
It was time for bed and she put one of the thick ones on me and I really liked that.
 The next morning we had to go over to her house to feed her dogs. On the way there I had really soaked myself. Ann fed the dogs and I just looked at stuff in her living room till she was done. She came in and called her girlfriend. She said hang on just a minute and covered the mouthpiece and asked me why I was fidgeting so much. I didn't realize I was but it was because I was uncomfortable. The diaper was very wet and as much as I liked wearing them I didn't like them wet. I told her why and she asked her girlfriend if she could borrow three diapers and hung up right after that. I was wondering how she was going to explain that to her friend as she didn't have any kids. The doorbell rang and Ann answered it. It was her friend and she had the diapers and a baby girl about one year old. She asked Ann what she needed them for and she said "they're for him, he just got out of the hospital and has to wear them for a while". I just stood there looking at her and thinking how could you do that? She got down on her knees on the carpet and patted the floor with her hand. Come here and lay down for me. I was so mad at her I told no not until her friend left. Oh come on! She changes her baby all day long and she won't think anything of it and grabbed my hand and pulled me over. Her friend sat down on the couch as Ann started changing me. When she was done and pulling my pants back up her friend said  "I wish it was that easy to change my baby, she's always wiggling all over the place."
 By the time we got home I had gotten over being mad at her. That night as she was diapering me for bed she kept looking at me with a smug  grin. Finally she said " You know something I think I discovered a secret about you, and you know what I'm talking about don't you? I shook my head no. Oh yes you do. Don't worry I promise I won't tell your mom or anybody else, It will just be our secret. She knew.
My parents returned the next day. As Ann was leaving she gave me a hug and a kiss and whispered real low so only I could hear "You want to know my secret? I liked putting them on you almost as much as you like wearing them"
 

PART6                                                                final chapter
 

  It was about eight months before my bladder and sphincter muscle had mended well enough to consider going back to school but by then it was the start of summer vacation. My dad suggested to mom that I go to summer school but my grades were straight A's thanks to the battleaxe's tutoring. Even though I hated her she did a good job. I told mom I didn't want to go to summer school as I was just getting to the point where I could play with my friends again and she agreed and said she don't worry she would handle dad. She did. He might have been one tough man but he was no match for her.
At about the same time I started drying up during the day I was starting to get a little uncomfortable being diapered by my mom. Don't misunderstand me I wasn't losing my attraction for the diapers. I was just starting to feel kind of weird having her do it and asked her one night if I could put it on myself. She agreed and gave me a few pointers because I wasn't very good at it. I have been doing it myself ever since.
Mom had found a company that sold underwear that had cotton on the outside just like regular underwear and terry cloth lining on the inside with a plastic pants between them. They were a little thicker than regular underwear but didn't show under regular clothes at all. I still had a few accidents during the day but kept my bladder emptied out as much as possible so they were small ones and the pants worked just fine. When I started school the teachers were told about my need to go to the bathroom frequently and I was allowed to leave anytime I needed to. Sometimes I would use it as an excuse to get out of class and goof off. I got caught a couple of times and warned. The final outcome of this period in my life is this, I have a permanent 40% loss of kidney function. I have never stopped wetting at night since the illness and have what they call urge incontinence during the day but with frequent bathroom visits I'm able to control it almost entirely. I still get that calm comforting feeling from wearing diapers and hope I never lose that. I met a girl in the late sixties and we became very close. One night when we were sitting around I told her about what happened to me when I was a kid and the need to wear diapers at night. To make a long story short we have been married for over thirty years. Oh by the way in case your wondering, I still use cloth diapers. There like potato chips, once you start you can't stop. One more thing. Just before I met my wife I attended a family reunion. Ann was there and I hadn't seen her since she moved to California were her husband was being transferred to. That was right after she babysat me. We talked for a long time and I finally I told her I had to get going to catch my plane. As I was leaving she asked me "do you remember when I babysat you that time?" I told her sure I did. She just got this big smile and whispered in my ear "Still enjoying them diapers?"
I just smiled back and like that time long, long ago turned as red as a fire truck.