Diapering Techniques: Dealing with a Stubborn Teen

There are many reasons why teenagers may have difficulty with using diapers, whether the trouble is simply wearing the diaper, or using it. Obvious social concerns arise when teens are forced to wear and use diapers; as well as the feeling that privacy and control are being seriously infringed. Different situations present different difficulties. Hopefully, these techniques will help most circumstances.

The specific problem to be addressed is how to deal with teenagers who refuse to use their diapers. This problem applies more to teens who, for one reason or another, have been put into diapers recently, and have not used diapers for the better part of their life. Certain aspects of this particular technique can be personalized and adapted to fit your situation whether it be punishment, need, or fun. Note: It is important to know your teen when making decisions regarding his diapering. Most importantly, diapering decisions affect his health

Determining if This Method is Appropriate:

This method is successful for encouraging stubborn teenagers to relieve themselves in their diapers. The importance of this is self-evident. However, this method is not appropriate for treating medical conditions that might be impairing the teen from voiding. First we must establish that the problem is simply your teen not being cooperative. Commonly, this condition occurs in teens immediately, or a few days, after the first time the teen is put back into diapers. The teen might exhibit defiant behavior or simply vocally refuse to use the diapers. If such behavior is observed, it may be assumed that the problem is a conscious defiance on the part of the teen.

Over the course of three or four days observe your teen’s behavior and diaper use patterns. Feed the teen plenty of healthy food. Three meals a day at least, with several snacks. Also, be sure the teen is consuming lots of water. If after four days the teen has not had a bowel movement something is out of the ordinary. If, after the course of your observation you conclude that the teen is not consciously refusing to use the diapers a trip to the doctor is in order.

Encouraging Your Teen to Wet:

For most people, wetting pants is not fun. It is perfectly understandable why a teen would not want to wet a diaper, and then sit in it until it is changed. Unfortunately for the teen, this is what must happen. Luckily for us, encouraging your teen to wet is not terribly difficult. The recipe for a wet diaper is simple, and fast acting. This method adds several elements to further the effects so that the teen is more readily cooperative in the future. If he has not wet his diaper yet, this will be a memorable experience. If the teen has wet the diaper, but has for some reason decided to refuse further wetting, this method should be effective in persuading cooperation. The method has three parts which are easily adapted to a wide range of situations. The first part is a simple communication session between you and the teen. Next, he will consume a great amount of fluid, and finally wet. Finally, from the time of wetting, he will record his thoughts in a journal. At the end of the treatment, another communication session will occur. Let’s go into detail with an example:

James is a fourteen year old boy who has been put into diapers as part of a recommended treatment for his occasional bowel accidents. He has visited several specialists who have all agreed that the problem is not medical, but rather psychological. Now that James has been in diapers for a day, he is refusing to wet. The decision is reached that it is a conscious decision; James is called in for a talk with his mother and I. James is required to sit in a chair wearing only his diaper while we talk with him. Over the course of thirty minutes we indirectly gather the following information:

· How much fluid has been consumed

· How is he dealing with diapers

· Are the diapers comfortable

· Has he felt the need to wet

· Is he having any difficulty using the diapers

· What are his thoughts about his mother putting him in diapers

In James’s case, he has shown clear resentment towards his mother at being placed in diapers. He finds them disgusting, and refuses to wet them. Also, he feels that it is unfair for him to have to use them. His mother has been giving him caffeinated fluids (caffeine is recommended as it is a reasonably efficient diuretic). Over the course of these two days he has consumed enough liquids for us to assume he is becoming reasonably uncomfortable and his posture reaffirms our assumption. At this point James is comfortable wearing just his diaper (this is necessary, as the wetting must occur while he is wearing only a diaper), and I begin to explain to him the procedure. I explain that he will be:

· Allowed to wet his diaper here, free from any real-world consequences.

· He should look upon this opportunity to explore what it is like to wet and wear a wet diaper

· He will keep a log of his thoughts throughout the procedure.

· Finally, I reassure him that he has all the time he needs to wet his diaper, and that he will be given as much time as he wants afterward to explore his wet diaper.

After we have talked about the procedure and I am sure he understands, he is given a notebook and a pen, and one last soft drink that has a mild diuretic (not necessary, just speeds up the process). I tell him to knock on the door of the room when he has wet and I offer to let him choose whether his mother stays during the first session. He chooses no, so his mother and I both exit the room. After about fifteen minutes we hear the knock and reenter the room to find his diaper is indeed wet. He is told that he can have as much time as he wants with his diaper, but that eventually he should start writing in the journal before his memory fades.

This turned out well, and he is required to keep his journal as a reminder. The method allowed him to become much more comfortable wetting his diaper, and his treatment has since ended.

Things to keep in mind: Keep the atmosphere non-confrontational. Allow it to be an exploration session, and less of a punishment. Be sure that he realizes that the journal is for his benefit and not for yours. Remind him that he has enough time to explore what he needs to. Also, be sure he remains in the diaper at least thirty minutes.

Dealing with a Teen who Won’t Mess:

Compelling a teen to mess a diaper is much more difficult than encouraging them to wet. Quite simply because wetting is much for immediate, and cannot be held for over several days without intense discomfort. Bowel movements however are not naturally as urgent, and can be put off up to weeks with only mild discomfort. This method is similar to that used in the wetting method, however, the use of over-the-counter medication is encouraged. With the use of outside chemicals, much more care must be used. If any substantial side effects result, you must consult a doctor immediately. At any rate, the three steps are the same, so I will not detail them with an example. However, more detail about the method of invoking a bowel movement is important, more information concerning the communication sessions, and an example journal will be included.

Methods of Encouraging a Bowel Movement:

If it is decided that the teen will not mess of his own accord, it will be difficult to persuade him to. The immediate expulsion is not nearly as important as convincing the teen of his need to mess his diapers. For this reason, this method recommends the use of Liquid Glycerin Suppositories as a way of encouraging a bowel movement, and reinforcing the need of further bowel movements. Obviously, if he has not had a bowel movement for four days, the resources are present for one, and the need of one exist. As a result, the effect of the medication will be even more memorable.

Because this treatment is delivered anally, the impression will be heavy on the teen, and as a result communication beforehand is important. Like before, it will be important to discuss how the teen is dealing with being in diapers, and his diaper use patterns. But after the chitchat, it is important for you to explain that he will be given a little medication and that it is similar to an enema. Be sure that he understands the treatment, and how he will be expected to mess afterward and record in his journal. Use very gentle words, and try to ensure that the teen is not nervous. Inform his that he may feel some discomfort as a result of the treatment, but that everything will feel better when he uses his diapers. Be sure to over emphasize the “relief” effect of using his diapers.

Use of Laxative:

Proper use of the medication is important, as misuse can be painful and damaging to the teen. It is not recommended to use laxatives that are taken orally as the effects may take several days. Also, the experience is not as memorable. Other treatments such as castor oil may also invoke nausea which is not desired. Enemas are also not recommended. The medication recommended is produced by several corporations, most notably Fleet. They are referred to as Liquid Glycerin Suppositories. The are similar to a tiny enema. The effects are clear within five minutes of treatment and quite effective. To administer the medication set up your surroundings. It is important that you and the teen are in a clean, pleasant room. The teen should remove all of his clothes except for the diaper and then relax in a chair. After you have had your conversation and explanation with him, it is time to begin the treatment. Provide him with a pen and a notebook, and a glass of water to sip. Then, instruct him to get down on his knees and lean forward so that the side of his face is resting on the ground. This position should have the seat of his diaper elevated, exposed, and completely out of his view. As this is not a very comfortable position to be in, rub his back for a few seconds before beginning, and have him close his eyes. Ask him to “push down like he is trying to have a bowel movement.” Next, after uncapping the suppository, with one hand grab the top of the seat of the diaper and pull it out and down so that you can bring the suppository in the diaper without spilling. Insert the suppository into his bottom as far as recommended, and squeeze the bulb so that the medication is administered. Then remove the suppository, cap it, and throw it away. Return his diaper and allow him to stand up. By the time he stands, he will be feeling the effect of the glycerin in his bowels. The feeling is quite similar to that experienced as you are having a bowel movement, and this might alone inspire a messy diaper immediately.

Most likely, he will walk around uncomfortably as if trying to outrun the feeling. After five or ten minutes most discomfort will disappear, but the abdomen will probably be churning and building pressure. The pressure will build until he messes his diaper. The movement could take several minutes to complete, and he should spend a good fifteen minutes in the messy diaper writing in the journal. If he is not, constantly encourage him to record his thoughts.

Most importantly, follow the directions on the box. If any of the side effects appear, contact a doctor.

Sample Journal:

It wasn’t as bad like id thought. it feels like it is burning a little bit and makes me feel like I am pooping. I am afraid to let it out though, because it doesn’t feel right. If I walk around it feels really weird inside of me, and it feels bigger and bigger. I want to grab my butt but I can’t because the diaper is there. I tried and clench and release my butt but it didn’t help, I felt it getting stronger. Drinking the water relaxes me a little but my stomach gets more full every few minutes. I see it expanding and I hear juices rolling. Theres no toilet. It’s a strange feeling, like I want to go, but at the same time, it feels like I couldn’t because my stomach is still churning. Jumping around doesn’t help, but I have to walk around on tip toes I bend over and the pressure gets a little better. When I pooped I got down on my hands and knees and finally lied back in the position im gave in and I tried to let a little out, but got long flat gas. Then I pooped. Not like I ever pooped before, it was lots, and it gushed. First soup, then like yogurt, and finally a like normal. I’m still on my stomach now writing about it. I don’t want to move, smells a lot. when I move my legs I see poop on my thighs. I smell like a sewer. I can feel it inside too. It feels swollen like I wet it, and then I can feel my poop inside like behind my legs. I cant leave for five more minutes.

Finishing the Session: (both wetting and messing):

It is important to clean up the teen and then have a last discussion to reflect on the treatment. It is my suggestion, that the teen remain in only the diaper until they leave the session room. At this point you may ask leading questions such as: “do you feel more able to use your diapers now?” and “it will be a little easier on you to do it a second time, don’t you think?” Offer to let the teen share their journal. Ask them to keep the journal to remind them of the experience. At about the middle of the final discussion ask the teen to stand up and walk around in the diaper. Ask the teen to stand still and feel how the diaper is on their body. Ask the teen to look at themselves in the mirror and realize that they aren’t that much different with a diaper on. Have the teen sit on the floor wearing the diaper and let them explore it in that position. Then have the teen sit back down in the chair. Discuss the teens feelings about the session and what they were thinking throughout the procedure. Ask the messing teen how he felt about the medication. Lead the teen to conclude in either situation that using the diapers means a relief, release, and good feeling of the clean diaper. Try to close the session on that note, and if the teen strays from that conclusion, continually lead the teen back to it.

The immediate experience should be unpleasant and relieving enough to inspire cooperation in the teenager. Most likely this will be effective. However, this treatment may not be right for your teenager. You should be the final judge on whether to administer the treatment, whether to repeat the treatment, and whether it was effective. At the very least, this should inspire communication.