From: dpr221@aol.com (DPR221) Subject: Diaper Experiences - 1 Date: 17 Sep 1995 13:01:28 -0400 DIAPER EXPERIENCES - 1 Well it's time for me to de-lurk. I've been reading asfd for a little over a month now and have enjoyed many of the stories and true experiences. I am a 34 year old white/married/male and have had diaper desires ever since I can remember, even before I was aware of sex etc... My wife doesn't know of my diaper desires, but I plan on sharing them with her. We joke about how it would be nice not to have to get up out of bed to pee. So maybe I'll pursue that line with some night diapers for her, I'm not in a hurry, nor do I need my diapers a lot. My wife and I have a happy regular sex life (what's regular?) and my diapers are mostly just a "secret hobby". asfd has made me feel more accepting of my "secret hobby". I new that other people had my hobby but this news group was a pleasant surprise. Well, enough background. THE COVER MY ASS PARAGRAPH I am a non-fiction kind of guy and would like to share real life experiences of our diaper adventures. These stories that I'll write are true stories about myself (I've never shared these thoughts with anyone else) and are meant for consenting adults who wish to accept, understand and share their diaper delights with others. I am a monogamous heterosexual and wish only to have sexual relations with my wife. Early Memories My first memories of diapers was when I was 3. I was in my crib for a nap and remember standing up in my crib bearing down and loading my diapers with poop and pee. As I grew up I remember being envious of my younger brothers and cousins as they were being diapered. I especially remember wishing I could wear the big fat "double diapers" and rubber pants to bed at night. I did not resort to wetting the bed to achieve my desires. I do remember stuffing blankets in my pajamas to get the feeling or effect. The first time I wore a diaper after I was toilet trained was during one of the times my younger brother (by one year) was being diaper punished for wetting his pants, bed, what ever. He did this until he was 10 or so on & off , but was only diaper punished at around 5 or 6. He never wet the diapers but had to wear them in front of the family for embarrassment. Anyway, one morning (I must have been 5) I woke up early and saw his diapers and safety pins on the floor of the bedroom. It was early and he was still asleep so I sneaked out of bed and pinned the diapers on myself (unfortunately :( there were no rubber pants available) and hopped back in bed to enjoy the feeling. The next time I got to wear diapers I got to wear the rubber pants too. I must have been 7 and my other younger brother was 3. I was charged with bathing him. I would take his diapers off if there was no poop, if there was poop I'd call my mom. This time he was very dry, so... I decided to try his diapers for myself. The bathroom my brothers and I used was on the third floor and everyone else was down stairs cleaning up after dinner. I put my brother in the tub and laid the diapers out for myself in the next room. I knew I would be able to hear anyone coming up the stairs and I'd be able to take the diapers off real fast. It was very quiet so I laid down on the diapers and began to pin them on myself. The diaper cloth was very soft between my legs and the pins just barely had enough cloth to work. I was very excited and I think I had a boner (I didn't think much about my erections back then). The best part was yet to come. I ran my hands over the diaper and became more excited with the anticipation of pulling the rubber pants up my legs and over the diapers. It was a tight fit but it felt so good, like a dream come true. I stood up and walked around touching the rubber pants and diapers between my legs. I liked the bulk of cloth and rubber between my legs. I hopped in bed to savor the sensations for a moment. Then finally I realized I had to pee so I stood up and let go. I remember feeling my hot pee soak into the diaper and down between my legs. I realized then that I liked the feeling of using the diapers as much as thinking about and wearing them. At that point I decided not to push my luck any more and took the diapers off and got in the bath. It would be quite a while until I would get to wear real diapers and rubber pants again. Diaper Experiences - 2 Let's see we left off last time where I was small enough to try on and pee my little brother's diapers and rubber pants while he was in the bath tub (I think I was 7yrs.). It would be a few years before I would have another more real diaper experience. Every now and I would put on 4 or 5 pairs of my jockey under shorts to get that thick diaper feeling. I think I was aware of erections but not yet masturbating. As luck would have it a relative dropped off a large box of old diapers for rags. These diapers had been for an adult and were just the right size to fold in thirds just like a real baby diaper. I was about 13 years old and rubber pants were not available. I was quite happy to have access to the "rag box" in our basement. I had to use my imagination for some rubber pants. Hhhmmm....? Then it hit me, white kitchen trash bags and some white tape. It only took a little looking around in the house before I found some old diaper pins. I was very excited and tried my diapers on a few times before I actually had the privacy to use them. Then one day I was alone in the house and happened to have the urge to poop! I sprung into action assembling the diaper supplies complete with baby powder and some clean up supplies, in case somebody got home unexpectedly. I was sure I had the house for at least two hours. I listened very carefully for the sound of arriving family members. I took my bag of diaper supplies up to my room and laid them out on the bed. By this time I had a pubescent hard on like you would not believe; although, I did not yet know how to release the sexual tension inside myself. I had regular wet dreams - cumming in my PJ's to dreams of naked girls etc..., but I also had wet dreams that involved diaper wearing too. This might be one of the roots of my diaper desires. The dream would usually start with the wish to have diapers on, a search for diapers (in the house, drug store, etc..) and then the finding of diapers. I would usually cum just as I was putting on the diaper or shortly there after; hence my desire to cum in my diapers. I always remember it feeling very pleasurable, warm, and secure. With dreams like that, who wouldn't want to try diapers out? In my daydreams about diapers I always think about the nice warm feeling and convenience of peeing and pooping in my diapers. As a young boy I was particularly envious of toddlers who were aware that they were loading their diapers, especially as they sat in a chair, red faced, struggling to empty their bowels. Also of interest to me was the toddler who would stop in the middle of a room and announce he was pooping and proceed to do the deed in a room full of doting adults. This day I wanted to experience (for the first time since I was 3) the feeling of sitting as I pooped my diapers. I laid back and pinned my diapers on (a nice thick double night diaper), not forgetting an ample sprinkling of baby powder. I had to fold a generous amount of the diaper cloth over my erection so that when I went pee pee it wouldn't spurt out of the confines of the diaper. I taped the white kitchen sized plastic bag on myself with the white utility tape. These diapers were not going to leak, I was proud of the realistic look and feeling I had accomplished; however, deep down inside I longed for the day when I would find some plastic pants like I wore as a toddler. I waddled around the house in socks and a white T-shirt admiring and turning myself on as I looked in the various mirrors around the house. I liked to feel the thick security of the diaper and plastic with my hands. I think I was so turned on that my penis quivered and spurted some pre-ejaculate but I was unaware of how to bring my self to climax (this would take a year or two to learn). My main concern at this point was the ever present pressure on my anus. I really had a hard log of poop waiting to come out. I decided it was time to use my diapers. I went up to my room making sure my clean up supplies were stashed in the bathroom for quick use, in case someone came home. I went over to the chair in my room and sat down. I relaxed my anal sphincter and began to push a little bit. The first thing I felt was the warm stream of pee in the front of my diapers. The poop was not coming out! I pushed harder and harder (no wonder those babies make such a big deal about pooping in their high-chairs). The poop only came out through my but cheeks and pushed against the confines of the diaper and chair, I could not load my diapers sitting down, the poop was too hard and it hurt too! Well, I really wanted to poop so I decided to stand up and try. Peeing was easy and my diaper was quite wet and warm. By this time my penis was feeling enjoyably strange. I stood up and proceeded to bear down and load my diapers with poop. The shaft of shit flowed out of my rectum quite easily, warming the cheeks of my butt as I made the effort to move my bowels. More pee flowed and created a feeling that took me back to my younger years. I also noticed the smell of a poopy diaper! With my diapers now full I got into bed to enjoy the fruits of my labor. The first thing I did was sit on my poopy buns. I was sure that to poop would not squish out because it was a hard long warm log that just flattened out a bit as I sat (as I found out later these are the easiest types of messes to clean up after). I felt the full wet diaper with my hand as I lay down. My penis twitched and I felt a strange and exciting lump in my throat. I laid on my tummy and drifted into a blissful daze as I hugged my teddy bear. I snapped out of it in a couple minutes realizing that family members would soon be home. I went into the bathroom, locked the door, and reluctantly changed myself and washed my diaper area with a nice warm soapy wash cloth. I rinsed out my poopy diaper and put it in a plastic bag to be disposed of (there were plenty more where that came from). I aired my room out, stashed my other diaper stuff and dropped my dirty diapers in a dumpster behind a store on my way out to play. I enjoyed these early diaper experiences, but often felt strange, guilty, and like I was the only one who had such babyish desires. I was always very careful as not to get caught. In the early seventies when I first started to indulge in my fantasies I felt that getting caught would have the worst and most embarrassing consequences; yet I persevered. I think other asfd subscribers, as well as myself, would benefit from and enjoy hearing about other childhood diaper experiences and early thoughts that led us to where we are today. Please let me know how you feel by posting your thoughts and stories to our asfd news group. We would enjoy hearing from other AB's out there.