Treat Regressive Behavior with Love, Patience 
by
Beverly Mills 

Question:   

	What could be wrong with a 7 year-old who wants to wear 
diapers and drink from a baby bottle? I'm a single parent, 
and I'm getting desperate. I found my son wearing plastic 
baby pants over his underwear. For Christmas, all he wanted 
was cloth diapers, plastic pants, diaper pins, and a baby 
bottle. How can I stop this? 

Answer:

	Growing up can be scary, and at brief points along the 
way, many children yearn to retreat to infancy. Out of 
nowhere, a 3 year-old will decide that crawling is more fun.   
The technical term for returning to behavior long since 
outgrown is regression. And when otherwise well-adjusted 
children regress, the infantile behavior is usually a 
reaction to stress, says Dr. Jim Dillon, a child 
psychiatrist and research director at Fairlawn Center, a 
children's psychiatric hospital in Pontiac, Mich.   But 
whether the regression is a brief reunion with a pacifier or 
something as severe as this 7 year-old's preoccupation, 
psychiatrists and parents prescribe similar tactics: Ignore 
the babyish behavior, accentuate what the child does right 
and try to figure out the source of the stress. 
	"The child may not even be aware of why he's feeling so 
stress out," Dillon says. "Look for any situation that would 
make being a baby preferable to being 7 years old." 
	The most common event that causes regression in 
children is the birth of a sibling. But other upheavals - a 
new school, a recent divorce, mom's new boyfriend, a parent 
who can't pay the usual attention to the child - could cause 
this yearning for infancy. 
	"Talk to the child's teacher," Dillon suggests. 
	One woman from Hillsborough, N.C. says regression was 
brought on by an inattentive family. 
	"I remember having these desires too, and I did not 
receive the basic nurture I needed from my family," J. P. 
says. 
	While searching for the cause, don't forget to reassure 
you child, says Elizabeth Cook, a parent from San Jose, 
Calif. "Say, I understand that you miss being a baby and 
growing up can be scary," Cook says. 
	When Barbara Lutke of Minneapolis faced the same 
dilemma with her 9 year-old, she too the advice of her 
pediatrician and allowed her son to wear diapers and drink 
form a bottle. 
	"Since we allowed this, we have noticed a major 
improvement in his personality and in his school 
performance," Lutke says. 
	A Norfolk reader is concerned if the boy's friends find 
out about the regression. "If I were the parent of such a 
child, I would allow him to be a bay in the evening, 
privately", Bob G. says. 
	It also helps to give the child some extra attention a 
parent from Kendall, Fla., says. "Focus on what the child is 
doing right," Jean says. "Ignore the diapers and give him 
lots of love." 
	Unless there are more serious problems, Dillon says, 
most children will stop acting like a baby on their own in 
six months. 
	"If it continues or increases, talk to a psychologist," 
Dillon says. B.R. of Norfolk, VA. now 50, never outgrew the 
desire he had for diapers at age 6. 
	"Now I still have strong desires to be diapered and am 
seeing a therapist," B.R. says. I think if I had been 
allowed when I was 6 I wouldn't have these problems today."