April 24th, 2000 Updated
Well as most of you know a lot has happened since the last update I made in December. Even though a lot of it was bad I have decided to exclude it from my life story because I have noticed a lot of people think my life sucks. I am sorry you see I am a very negative person so I tend only to see the bad and not the good. I have been recently asked by my councilor to go ahead and only think positive things and to dismiss the negative thoughts. So in this update of my personal story I will be focusing on the positive.
Well lets start it off. I have a great job at Taco Bell and I love the food there too. Even though my love life is over with Michelle it is better to know now rather then later that she dislikes bedwetters. Besides I have been kinda interested in this new kid I have noticed at school the other day. I guess it is a crush because so far I havent spoken more then 2 words to him. He looks like he is a freshman or maybe even a young looking sophmore but I am not sure I havent even found out his name yet and dont know if I can ever get the courage to do so. Besides he probably hates guys that have gay tendecies. He is about 5'6" give or take a few inches and he doesn't look like he could weigh more then 135 lbs. But there again I am not sure. He has blue eyes and black hair and a golden brown complexion. Anyway if I ever get the guts or find out more about him I will report here.
Brian is finally wearing diapers at night! I tried to convince him all along that they would not make him a baby but he wouldn't listen to me. So one day while in class I over heard one of the guys in my class talking about his obnoxious little brother, and happened to make a remark about him still being a bedwetter too. Well I kinda snooped around and found out that the kid was a little younger then Brian so they were pretty close in age and arranged it so that they could meet each other. Well they became best friends and just recently Brian found out that he was a bedwetter and because of it he wore diapers to bed. Brian told me later that when he found out about his friend being a bedwetter that he confessed he was too. From what I can understand Brians friend ended up convincing him that diapers were not bad at all but kinda cool. So now at night Brian is wearing diapers to bed for his bedwetting and sometimes when his dad or my mom aren't here he even lets me help him put it on. I have been trying to peek his interest a little more but so far he hasn't shown anymore intrest in it except that it keeps his bed dry at night. I guess his friend feels the same way they view diapers as a tool to keep them dry at night rather then a sexual thing like we do. Well maybe as he enters puberty he will find a more sexual thrill to diapers.
As for my parents and my home life things
cant be any better. Now that they know that I like diapers and to wet my
pants and also poop in them I no longer have to hide my intrest. At first
they thought I was nuts and sent me to a shrink who told my parents that
this was a phase in my life and if they ignorerd it I would eventually
give it up and act normally. My mom also had talked to my school councilor
about it who tried to say that they should be more open minded and sugested
that we all go to a Family Councilor. Well last week we went and I was
suprized when the councilor backed me and told my parents that he had talked
to several people who had the same fetishes. He ended up talking to my
parents alone for almost a half an hour and later that even when we were
at home they told me that they didn't like this fetish of mine and would
not support it but they also told me that they supported my decission of
what I wanted to do about it and would not try and discourage me from what
ever discission I chose. So I now have the freedom to explore my desires
with out fear of being found out from my family. They even had a discussion
with Brian about it and told him that he too if he was interested could
explore this fetish. But Brian told them not to worry that he had no desires
to wet or poop diapers on purpose, and I truely believed my parents were
relieved when they were told this. But hay it has been a great week for
me the only thing I wish I did have was someone to change me.
JD (John Dazel) April 24th, 2000
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December 12th, 1999
Well I cant believe it is almost 2000. All I really hope for is that the computers will stay working well into this Millineum. Well I have been real busy lately. Thanksgiving was real nice My grandma and Brian "My step brother" came to our house for Thanksgiving. Brian ended up staying untill that Sunday morning. I had ordered some of the X-large goodnights hopeing they would be here by Thanksgiving but I am sorry to report they never got here "at least not yet". You see I was asked by a friend to order them in Brians name and then see if his dad would talk him into wearing them while he was visiting us for his bedwetting problem. But it didn't work out that way. What was interesting was one Sat. night Brian had gotten into my bed in the middle of the night after wetting his by morning we were both soaked. I dont know if it was me or him or both of us. I do know I had gone a couple of days without wetting. I ended up letting him think he did it. He said he was real sorry and I told him that maybe he would feel better and less ashamed if he did wear a diaper to bed. Because he then wouldn't have to be sorry in the morning plus he would get a restfull night of sleap and wake up in a dry warm bed. For the first time since I have started sugesting diapers to him he didn't immediately refuse he didn't agree niether but I think I might now be wearing him down to convince him to do so. Maybe at christmas. If I can get him interested in diapers I will then tell him my secret but then and only then would I do that.
The last thing I wanted to talk about was a wetpant sighting. Of course the list was the first to here this and now I will let everyone know. I cant believe it I was working at Taco Bell last night on front counter when these 2 young boys came inside the resteraunt. The older of the 2 boys started swinging on our line control bars, it was then that I noticed the wet patch on his crotch. I couldn't help myself to look and think I wonder if he or his parents even realizes that he wet his pants. A woman walks in about a minute later apoligises to me for the questioning the 2 boys were putting me through that moment. She places her order and takes the boys plus a young girl and Twin Babies (a total of 5 kids)to a couple of tables and starts eating thier food. I couldn't help myself but point out the boy's condition to the woman.
Me- I couldn't help but notice
mam that when your son there..... Sorry this is your son (me pointing to
the paticular child in question.
Lady- Oh yes he is my son
all of them are mine (she talking about all the kids she had with her)
Me- Well it looks like the
good lord blessed you mam several times over.
Lady- Yes he has
Me- Well I was wondering
if you noticed that your son has had a problem?
Lady- Problem? what do you
mean?
Me- I mean I noticed when
your son came into our store and started swinging on the bars that he had
an accident. (with this said the mother instinctivly reaches down to her
son's crotch but still not getting it)
Lady- I am sorry I dont understand
what you are telling me.
Me- Well it looks like your
son has wet his pants. (she again reaches
out to feel her son's pants and this time has a
look of shock on her face.)
Lady- (to her son) You did
wet your pants and why did you do that?
Son- (not looking shocked
at all) I dont remember and it dont bother me. (he just shrugs it off as
if it is nothing.)
It looks like a Pantswetter lover and maybe even a diaper
lover allready. Later I started a little conversation with the woman and
the out come was that I found out her kid's ages. The one metioned here
is 6 1/2 years old.
Also I work with a woman named Dawn who has 2 boys one
12 and the other 10 almost 11. She has told me that her husband "the boys
father" beets on her 10 year old because he has accidents in his pants.
I guess her and her husband are actually divorced or something like that.
Anyway the youngest one refuses to be near his father because his father
beats him for going potty in his pants.
And last but not least, a couple of nights ago a father
and his 2 sons came into Taco Bell. One son was about 15 or 16 the other
about 12 or 13. Anyway the younger son starts to order a large soda when
his father stops him and says to get him a small glass of water. Now this
in itself is not unusual to myself nowing that soda has caffiene in it
and parents like thier kids to stay away from the caffiene late at night
to keep down thier hyperactivity before bedtime. So I tried telling the
father that there were caffiene free drinks over there. The father just
stated that was not the problem but it was something else instead. I have
been wondering ever since if it was because his son was a bedwetter. Who
really knows but that is what I believe. Please let the list know if you
have had any sightings.
JD (John Dazel) Dec. 12th, 1999
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November 9th
Well I have finaly made another update 1 week behind. I have been very busy the last couple of weeks and only been finding time to work on the site late night after everyone has gone to bed.
Well the 28th of last month was my birthday and my best present by far was my drivers license. I also was able to go out that Friday evening and took Michelle out for are first real date. I took her to see the movie "The Story of US" and I have to comment here that the movie sucked. It was one of Bruce willis's worst movies yet. I guess with the success of Sith Sence he needed a dull one I guess. Michelle enjoyed it though and said it was a good story. Talking about Movies "I'll Be Home For Christmas" came out on video today. I hope they put the scene back in that made the movie for us something to watch.
Well on the advice of Kevin "AKA Fozzie Da Bear" I have ordered some Goodnites for Brian. I just hope they get here by Thanksgiving so he will be here when they arrive. Who knows maybe I can convince him to wear them yet. :O)
As for the last thing I have been wetting
my bed again. That first night I tried I failed, so the next night I wet
on purpose and went to sleep. I did the same thing the next night and slept
in a wet bed all night. Also instead of getting up if I do wake up having
to pee I have just went in the bed. I also have been drinking a lot of
Mountain Dew which makes me have to pee alot. After the 2nd night I successfully
went back to wetting the bed. Because since then I have wet the bed everynight
without waking. So I guess I will see where it takes me. So far Mom hasn't
said anything. I still have my rubber sheet on my bed because so my bed
is ok. I have decided to let mom bring up the descussion of diapers so
that it wont look like I want them. The last thing I want her to know is
that I am trying to wet the bed and want to wear diapers. Well I am going
to end here today and pick up on my next update.
JD (John Dazel) Nov. 9th, 1999
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October 23rd, 1999
Well it is about time I get around and update this part of my site, it is long over due is for sure. Well alot of you are wondering where I have been. I guess the easiest way to explain it is that after a long grounding I recieved I tried to turn away from these feelings of likeing and wearing diapers. For those who are wondering why I got grounded it is because I got involved with a few kids who seemed like cool okay guys but by my choice I ended smoking some dope and on one of these occassions we decided to spray graffitti on our highschool wall earlier this year. Unfortunately because of the dope we weren't thinking and got caught. I ended up going to court and plead guilty to a misdemeanor charge and then as my mom put it got a slap on the wrist.
The verdict
From the school 2 weeks suspension (and by the way it was inschool suspension so it was more like all day detention). I had to help scrub the walls that we painted and spent some time in detention.
From The Court I was sentenced to 100 hrs community service. And they said that they would expunge my record when I turn 18 if I stay out of trouble.
From Mom- Mom was the hardest on me. She grounded me from everything for the rest of the school year. As soon as I was finnished with my comunity service she signed me up to help at local charities around town. She kept me pretty much busy all summer. I cant believe I am going to say this but I was glad when summer was over and school started again.
This year I have been doing better then I have since starting Highschool. I have been maintaining a B average. Which is greatly improved over my D average of last year.
One of the other things real big in my life now is that I have met michelle. We hapened to meet each other and hit off. She is the first girl that I have had feelings for. Up untill this point I was really starting to wonder if I was gay. I now know that I am not gay but may be Bisexual. Michelle unfortunately like me has hardly any friends, but this hasn't stoped us from becoming not only good friends but I have to admitt sexual partners if you can call it that. We ended up having sex with each other last month and we are looking forward to the 29th when we most likely will again have sex.
Before I forget michael moved away earlier this year to a new job, and since he hadn't gotten his new place yet he told me he would get in touch with me as soon as he does to give me the address. I havent heard from him since he moved. I am a little worried and dont know what to do. All I know is that the job was supposed to be in TN I think Knoxville. It may be nothing what makes matters worse is that we moved. Which reminds me after a real serious argument and I thought a definate breakup Tom and my Mother were married. Tom sold his home in OK and he and mom bought a house together up here.
Now this brings me to the last thing for this update. Tom has
a 13 year old son who is now my Stepbrother Brian. It turns out that Brian
is a bedwetter himself according to him he dosen't wet every night and
wishes to be dry. I tried to persuade him that wetting the bed wasn't so
bad and even tried to talk him into useing diapers. Boy did that go over
big. He refuses to where diapers unless he were on vacation at someone
else's home. Even Tom has talked to him about wearing diapers after I made
a complaint this summer about the room smelling like pee. Again Brian refused
he said diapers were for babies and he wasn't one. Right now brian is at
his mom's house where he stay at most of the time. He should be here for
Thanksgiving and a week durring Christmas time. Untill then I have the
room to myself but when he is here we do share the room. And for those
who are wondering I did finally stop wetting the bed last spring I had
a couple of accidents over the summer but have been completely dry except
when noones around since July 1999. I did come to a conclussion though
I am going to try and train myself to wet again because I miss it. It is
one thing to wet yourself on purpose but to have a true accident is something
I cant even explain. So starting tonight I have been drinking lots of extra
water and hope that maybe I wont wake up. I normally dont wake up but hold
it through the night. I am hopeing if I fill myself with water I still
wont wake up and I will pee on myself. I will let you all know how things
are going in future updates on this page.
JD (John Dazel) Oct. 23rd,1999
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July 13th, 1998
Well hows everyones summer vacation? Things have been going great for me. Since it is summer and I have no school mom has me go with her on work trips. Normally I would think that this would be boring but mom has been great. She dropped me off one day at Six Flags while she worked. My mom has also met this truck driver and he has taken us when mom has time on a couple of his runs. Has anyone ever ridden in a Big Rig before? Its great. Well now that I have a little time I am trying to update my Web Site and get a chance to spend some time with Michael. Oh by the Way the Truckers name is Tom.
JD (John Dazel) June 13th, 1998
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May 9th, 1998
Update I no longer have to hide my diapers from
my mom. I cant believe she is going to let me wear them and is not going
to punish me over them. This happy moment in came out of the
worst moment in my life. Here is how all this happened.
April 17th started out to be a bad day for me. Mom was
upset with me that morning because she had to leave work to go to a quick
3pm parent/ teacher conference. Well that as you might guess put me in
a bad mood for the rest of the morning. At 3pm my mom came to the meeting
and had me wait for her. Afterwards she droped me off at home on her way
back to work. Well all the way back home we argued about what the teacher
told her and about my recent behavior. The last thing she said as she was
leaving to go to work was that she was going to cancel my internet account,
and till my grades and attitude showed improvement I could expect it to
stay disconected.
So that afternoon when I got on line I was allready in
a bad mood. When I saw the e-mail from Mathew Moulton (or whoever the hell
he is) I just had enough. As you all know I then wrote my responce to the
group and then proceeded to shut down my web sites. I also decided to try
and over come my desires about diapers. By the time I went to bed that
night and cooled off I decided that I was over reacting and would appoligize
to the group later.
Well for the 1st time in 2 weeks I wet the bed
and it just happened that I hadn't put on a diaper before I went to bed.
It was Sat. and I over slept and my mom was home so I hid the sheets in
my closet and put clean ones on my bed. Now I have done this on several
ocassions and never had a problem but today my mom walked into my room
while I was putting my clean sheets on my bed. Thats when she saw my wet
pajama's which I hadn't taken off yet. And so began a new fight.
While we were fighting my mom's boyfriend showed
up and got on my case for being disrespectful to my mom. Well I wasn't
really in the mood for anyone else's shit that day so I told him to take
a flying leap. He didn't take it to well. He punched me for it so I tried
hitting back, boy was that a mistake. All I remember was that he kept hitting
and kicking me. I tried to get away but I didn't get to far I am not sure
how it happened either he pushed me or I tripped. Somehow I had fallen
down the stairs. All I know about what happened next is what my mom told
me. I had fallen down the stairs and now was in the hospital My mom kept
telling me that she was sorry for what happened and also that she was the
one who left the basement door opened and forgot to shut it. She begged
me to not tell them what really happened but to tell them that I accidently
tripped and fell down the stairs.
I ended up staying in the hospital for almost a
week. I ended up with a concussion, a couple of cracked ribs, a badly sprained
ankle, a broken arm (luckly my left), and cuts and bruises all over my
body. They told my mom that they wanted me to stay in the hospital for
futher testing. They also stated that they didn't believe the story that
all my bumps and bruises came from falling down the stairs. Not only did
the doctors question me about it the Police and a social worker from child
welfare also quizzed me about it. It was a counceler that finaly got me
to tell the whole truth. I thought my mom would be mad at me when she found
out that I turned in her boyfriend, boy was I shocked to find out differently.
She again apologized to me and told me that she was thru with him. It was
then that I told mom about my accidents at night that I have been having.
I also went out on a limb and told her about the group. Now what I told
her was the list that I was on was a list of other teens who also had bedwetting
or daytime problems. I didn't tell her about how everyone on this list
likes diapers. I'm not sure if she would let me stay on it if that was
the case. I also told her that I would rather wear diapers then be laying
in a wet spot. So the new rule is that at bedtime I was to wear a diaper
she also now buys them for me so I don't have to be embarresed about buying
them anymore. She has also let me back on the internet though only after
I get my homework done 1st. So far that brings everything up to date. For
those that are wondering yes I did wear diapers in the Hospital though
I only wore them at night for my bedwetting. Other than that I used a bed
pan.
JD (John Dazel) May 9th, 1998
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March 15th,1998
My name is John Dazel but call me JD, I turned 14 on Oct. 28th
1997 and I am hoping the next 4 years go by quick so I can get my own place
and do the things I want to do. Well here goes the story-
My mom states that I was potty trained early in my childhood
life. She told me that I started potty training myself a little after 2
and was compleatly daytime trained before the age of 3. I remember that
she used to brag alot about me. She would tell everyone how I potty trained
myself at a young age, how I learned to walk before anyone else's kid she
knew, how I could talk in full sentences by the age of one, and on and
on she went. I guess she thought I must have been the next Einstien or
something (Actually I guess any parent would think that of their young
child). Well I guess you could say I didn't take long to dissapoint her.
You see even thou I had potty trained for daytime early I still had no
night time controll over my bowels or bladder. She didn't think much of
it untill I reached the age of 4, That is when she started to get worried
that there may be a medical problem. "AUTHORS NOTE- By the age of 4 I didn't
really have that many night time bowel accidents. I eventually gained controll
over them by 4 1/2." At this time she took me to every Doctor and psychologist
she could find. They all told her that there was nothing wrong with me
except for the fact that my muscles in my bladder weren't ready and that
the reason I was still having problems with my bowels is because of the
fact I was trying to hold them all night which I didn't allway succesfully
do. They recomended that she take me out of night diapers so If I did have
to poop and woke up I would then go to the bathroom, but they told her
that I was probably close from what they could see of conquering that problem.
Which did happen a few montha latter. Well my mom decided to go ahead and
keep me in diapers since she didn't want to have to put up with wet sheets.
By the time I turned 6 I no longer was able to fit in
the largest size baby diapers my mom could find. So at this point I was
given my regular underwear to wear to bed, and a rubber sheet was put on
my bed. After constantly wetting my bed everyday my mom got fed up and
went from a concerned parent to an angry parent. She was convinced that
since I hadn't stopped by now that I was doing it on purpose. I guess a
friend had told her that her 10 year old son had started wetting the bed
because he was trying to get back at her. Well my mom I guess figured that
this is what I was doing and decided the only way I was going to stop this
behavior was to punish me everytime I had an accident. The rule was everyday
I woke up with a wet bed I was given a spanking. As you can probably guess
I got pleanty of spankings because of this. More then anything now did
I want to stop.
I dont know if it was because of the spankings
or if it was because my time had come to start gaing night time controll
but by the age of 7 my bedwetting was dramatically slowing down. By this
time I was only wetting the bed about once or twice a week. Even though
I was showing signs of getting better night time controll my mother was
still very upset that I was still wetting the bed at night. This happened
also to be the year and the only time I remember of actaully wetting my
pants at school. I really dont know what happened. Somebody just pointed
out to our teacher that I wet my pants. At first I denied it untill I put
my hand on my crotch and felt the warm wetness. The only thing I can think
of is that I wet them while out playing at recess. My mom was called to
the school and had to bring me a clean pair of underwear and pants. I was
so embarrassed by the whole situation that I remembered that I sat in the
school office and cried. My mom didn't say much when she got there though
I could tell that she was very upset and embarrassed herself. For the rest
of that day I was the butt of my classmates jokes, which actually went
on for the rest of the week. Luckliy like most 7 year old 2nd graders the
incident was soon forgot or at least dropped. I wished my mom was that
easy not only did I recieve a severe spanking when I got home that night
but for the rest of the year my mom thru that accident into my face.
By the time my 8th Birthday came around I was only
wetting the bed only once or twice a month and was starting to feel better
about myself. For once I had a better chance of waking up dry then wet.
I guess thats why I didn't throw a fit when my mom said she was going to
let me have a slumber party for my 8th Birthday. I figured that I could
keep myself from having an accident if I watched what I drank carefully.
What I didn't know was that my mom had finally decided that if I was embarrassed
enough that I would stop my babyish ways of wetting my bed. She had came
up with a perfect plan and put it in motion. We went ahead and invited
my 3 best friends and 2 of my favorite cousins. Now none of these kids
knew of my bedwetting problem and as far as I was concerned they were not
going to find out boy was I wrong. Well everything went fine untill bedtime,
that is when my mom came into the room and told me in front of everyone
that it was time to put my diaper on. And to my horror she pulled out a
diaper that it turned out that she found in my size. That is all it took
my friends started making fun of me and I felt like just running away and
never comming back. If things couldn't get worse my mom had given me a
sleeping pill earlier dissolved in a glass of Coke which knocked me out
before 10 o'clock. By the time morning came I of course had wet the diaper
and sealed my fate with my supposedly friends. Well after that I was a
big joke to everybody that I knew and some that I even didn't know in school.
I guess you could say I didn't take it to well and my classmates soon found
out that it was easy and fun to make fun of me and bully me around. From
that point on things havent been the same for me. I dont have any friends
among my peers so I really am pretty much a loner to this day. About 2
months later my bedwetting stopped and I no longer had a problem with it.
This just made my mom further believe that I was doing it on purpose. And
she believes that since she had done what she done that It was her who
finally made me stop wetting the bed.
Well things went along normally as normal as things
could be for me. That is untill I was 10 or 11 I am not sure exactly when
for sure. This is when I started getting these strange feelings everytime
I saw a picture of a kid in diapers or saw a comercial for them. All I
knew was that I wanted to try wearing diapers again. Well I finally did
get a chance to wear diapers again when I stayed the night at my grandpa's
house. I was 11 at the time and I was staying at his house for the weekend.
Well it was late one night and my granpa was already asleep and I was bored
so I decided to find me something to do. I guess you could call it being
nosy but I started going thru the closet of the room I was staying in.
This room use to belong to my great grandmother (my grandpa's mom). My
grandpa use to take care of her before she died. Well I ended up comming
across her diapers. I couldn't help myself I imeadiatly tried one on and
found out that it was close to a perfect fit since my grandmother was a
small woman. Well I ended up falling asleep with it on. The next morning
my grandpa woke me up for breakfast luckily he didnt wait around till I
got up. As soon as he left the room I took the diaper off and since I didn't
use it hid it in my bag along with several others to take home with me.
Well since I visited my grandpa at least once everyother week I was able
to keep supplying myself with diapers. For a long time I was afraid that
my grandpa would realize that the diapers were comming up missing, but
the truth was he had it turned out cuboards full of them in the laundry
room and since he no longer used them he never missed them. Well this worked
untill I was 13. Thats when my grandpa died of a heart attack.
At this time I decided that my feelings for diapers
were preverse and not right so I decided to push back and ignore the feelings
I was having for them. Well this worked untill Jan. 97. That is when my
mom signed up for internet access. I dont know why for sure but I decided
to do a search on diapers. I was amazed at what it brought up. From here
it didn't take me long to come across AB web pages then from there TB pages.
I am not sure when exactly but I came across Big Daddy's web page for Teen
Babies and signed up for the TB list of Big Daddy's. Thats when I decided
that it was okay after all to have the feelings that I was having and to
act upon them. I started out just wetting in my pants whenever I was home
alone and have pleanty enoughtime to enjoy it and clean up after it. I
guess the most courages I have ever gotten was when I decided to wet them
durring a movie at the theater in town. Luckily I had a big shirt that
hid the front of my pants when I left the movie. Also durring Jan. I started
having problems wetting the bed again for the first time since 8. At 1st
I tried hiding it from my mom but you cant hide pee stains for long. As
soon as as she found out the spankings started all over again. She accussed
me of doing it on purpose and being lazy. Also durring this time I started
getting a bad rash all over my body. In the end it was my grandma who told
my mom that I might be having an allergic reaction and to take me to the
Doctor. So in late march of 97 I went to see a Doctor that told my mom
that it looked to him that I indeed was having an allergic reaction from
something. He put me on medication for it and in about 3 weeks along with
my rash my bedwetting dissapear.
Well I managed to stay dry except for my
purposeful accidents up untill shortly before Thanksgiving of 97. For some
reason or another my bedwetting resumed and I have been wetting the bed
ever since to this date. This time around to hide it from my mom I used
my job as a paperboy to earn money to buy diapers to wear to hide my problems.
Also luckily my mom was recently given a promotion and has pretty much
left me to fend for myself most of the time and therefore I am having an
easier time hiding it from her. I dont know how long I can hide it but
I talked to someone else who is in the same boat as myself and he has hidden
it for more then 2 years from his parents.
Well I guess I will bring this story to its
end. I will update my story as things change in my life.
JD( John Dazel) March 15th,1998