It is a clear summer day as my mother drops me off at my babysitter's apartment. I am seven years old, and the world seems a vast array of new and wonderful experiences. The sitter is there to greet us at the door with her son, two and half years old. She smiles brightly, "Hello, Loren, " she says invitingly, "always good to have you!" My mother smiles, "I am so glad you are willing to watch him, with work and all, I'd hate to leave him by himself." she pauses and chuckles, "You know how children are at that age." My sitter laughs and nods, "Yes, and the way things are nowadays....." she lets that statement trail off.
Mother nods in mute agreement, then regains control of her self. She turns to me and gives me a kiss on the cheek, "Now Loren, you behave yourself." she says. I nod and smile, thinking of watching Susan as she dresses and plays with her son, wishing I could wear diapers too. "I will mom, " I say, "I won't be any trouble."
Susan laughs, "Well, we know that if you are, we will take care of it."
My mother thanks her and leaves for work. Susan beckons me to come inside. I put my backpack in one corner; it is filled with childrens books, coloring books and some games. "We were just about to eat lunch, Loren, " Susan says, putting her son, James, in his highchair. For a brief moment, I am envious, wishing we could trade places, even for an instant=2E Quickly, I suppress this feeling as Susan then turns to me and says, "Come and sit at the table, dear, were having grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup."
I clap my hands in joy, "Oh boy! My favorite!" I rush up to the table and sit down, eagerly awaiting the hot meal. James shares my delight and imitates me by clapping his hands together and saying, "Oboy! Mfavwit!"
I laugh and smile, feeling a kinship with him. Susan calls out from the kitchen, "Now, you two behave out there."
"Aw, we arent making any trouble. " I call out, "Just cant wait for lunch is all."
Susan then comes out of the kitchen with the sandwiches and warm bowls of tomato soup. Followed by a glass of chocolate milk for me, a bottle for James. She sets the tray down in front of me. I inhale the strong aroma of the soup and sigh contentedly, "Oh, this smells good!" I say, taking a bite of sandwich, "Mmmmm, you are a good cooker!"
Susan laughs, "Is that so?" she smiles and kisses me on the cheek, "Thank you, Loren." She stands up and says moderately sternly, "Now, eat. When you are done, you can watch cartoons."
After finishing lunch and washing up, Susan puts Jason in his playpen and again, I feel another twinge of enviousness. She turns on the television, and I watch the cartoons. No too long after, I begin to feel drowsy. "This isnt good," I think. "Cartoons are on." Not wanting to miss a moment, I fight the drowsiness until I cannot hold back a huge yawn. "Feeling tired, sweetie?" Susan asks. I turn my head towards her and manage a weak nod. "Uh huh," I barely manage to say. She smiles and helps me to my feet. "Come on then, lets get you to bed." She says soothingly. I protest, "I dont wanna go to bed, though." Sleep begins to weigh heavily on me as she leads me along the hall to the back bedroom, my eyelids droop as if sleep were a tangible thing, as if it were a weight, forcing them to close. She opens the door to the bedroom and the smell of baby powder and fresh, clean laundry assaults my nostrils. The scent is intoxicating and smells like sweet innocence. "This isnt the bedroom=85?" I mumble. Susan nods, "Yes Loren, this is the nursery. This is where Jason sleeps." I look around the room, the walls are a pastel blue, pleasant to the eye. It is nicely decorated with baby animal wall stickers, a changing table sits in the far corner of the room, a bottle of baby powder and baby oil sits upon it, next to a nursery lamp. In the closet, there are shelves stacked with baby clothes and crib bedding. On the handle of the closet hangs a fully stacked diaper holder. The curtains on the window are cheerful, with a nursery print. There are two cribs in the room, one of them is across from the changing table, and the other is against the wall next to the table. She picks me up and gently sets me down to sit on the changing table. "Now, Loren, " Susan says as she begins to untie my shoes, "I have a question for you, and I would like you to answer as honestly as possible, okay?"
I manage a nod. "Okay, " she looks at me, "Do you wet the bed?"
I blink, "Huh?" This is a strange question! I shake my head and say, "No."
Susan sees the look of confusion on my face and smiles, "Now, the reason I am asking you this is because you have a choice." She pauses, "One, you may wear a diaper to bed, and if you dont wet the bed, you wont have to do it again, but if you do use it, you will have to wear one at every nap time from here on out. Two, you can go to bed without one, and if you dont wet the bed, you wont have to worry about it again." I sit there, trying to comprehend. The chance to wear diapers again! Oh, the temptation is inviting! Then again, I am afraid to let her know I want to so badly! My mind is reeling from the very idea. She continues. "However, if you do wet the bed, that will show me you will need to learn to control yourself and I will put you in diapers and treat you as a baby for the full time you are here, and every time you come over until I think you are ready to grow up." She looks at me, "Okay?" She asks.
I nod. Get to wear diapers all the time? Oh, Gods, the idea is so pleasant! Although I do not wish to let her know I would really enjoy it, and I dont wet the bed anyway, I tell her I dont wet the bed. "So you will go without a diaper?" she asks as she unzips my pants and pulls them off. I yawn tiredly, and nod, "Uh-huh."
She nods, "Okay then, " she pulls me off the table, now clad only in socks, underwear and T-shirt, "Off to bed." She lets down one side of the crib next to the table and draws back the soft comforter inside. I look at her questioningly. She understands and says, "If you dont wet the bed, you may sleep in my big kid bed from now on, okay?" I look at the crib and sleep begins to beckon warmly. At this point, all I wish to do is sleep. I nod, and she helps me into the crib, handing me a large, diaper clad stuffed bear. As she pulls the covers over me and kisses my forehead as I clutch the soft bear, she whispers, "Sweet dreams, little one." The last thing I remember before drifting off to slumberland is her pulling up the side of the crib to lock it in place.
In my dream, I am the captain of a small ship. My first mate is the bear Susan gave to me to sleep with. I stand at the wheel, and say to the bear, "Ted E."
"Yes, sir." He replies.
"Go to the front of the ship and keep an eye out for trouble."
"Aye, aye, sir!" he salutes, then goes to the bow of the ship. He pulls out a collapsible telescope and puts it to one eye, scanning the horizon. I sniff at the air, and for a moment, I could swear I smell baby powder for a moment. Shaking that off, I turn to look ahead. At this point, Ted E. says, "Captain!" He points to the horizon. "Theres a storm coming!" Surprised, I look up and see the dark, foreboding clouds of a thunderstorm. Before we can react, it crashes down upon us like a giant, gray shroud. I try to call to Ted E. but the wind is too powerful even for me to hear my own voice. By now, huge wave crash against the boat, threatening to knock me off my balance. Lightning strikes down upon the sea all around us, and the sound of thunder is deafening. I grasp the wheel in a deathgrip as even the wind threatens to whip me off my feet. A huge wave crashes into the side of the boat, spilling over onto the deck and dragging the poor bear with it! "Noooooooo!" I scream, and reach out my arm, stretching it to its limits, as if I could grab him from where I stood.
My grief is short lived, though, as the boat has had enough of being thrashed about and capsizes, throwing me violently from my position. I land in the sea, and instead of feeling cold, it is warm and it bathes me in its essence. As I break free of the surface, the storm has subsided and the sun shines brightly on the calm waters. Nowhere to be seen is my first mate, nor the boat. "Ted E!" I shout, fearing he is lost. Again I call his name out in the unpleasant silence. Where was he? Where was my trusty companion? Panic begins to take over and I thrash in the sea, calling out his name, shouting as if that would make him magically appear. As I thrash about in the waters, the waves I create slowly begin to pull me down. No! I think, this cant be happening! Drowning at sea, lost. The waters fill my mouth and muffle my cries. Must stay afloat! My head goes under the water and I break the surface quickly, only to fall back down again, inhaling large amounts of water. Unable to breathe, I go down=85=85=85
Susan wakes me as I am calling out Ted E.s name. "Loren, honey, wake up." She shakes me again and I begin to break free of the hold that sleep had over me. "Uh! Ted E!" I say. "Right next to you, sweetie." She looks concerned. "You had a bad dream." I look over and breathe a sigh of relief as I see him sitting in one corner of the crib. At this point I notice that my clothes, the bedding and the sheets are soaked! I look at the scene in disbelief! I wet the bed? This cant be happening! I begin to cry, "This hasnt happened before!" Susan rubs my head, "There, there, sweetie=2E" She says soothingly. "You had a bad dream. It happens." She lets down the side of the crib and lifts me out. "Come with me hon." She takes me by the arm and leads me into the bathroom, where a bubble bath is waiting. She takes off my wet clothes and puts them into a hamper. "Okay sweetie, " she says, "Get in the tub." She pats me on the rear as I climb in. She stands up and says, "When you are done, dry off completely and then come into the living room, I have something waiting for you." I blink, then nod, playing with the rubber animals floating around in the water.
After playing around for a while, I let the water out of the tub and get out. I grab a towel off of the rack and dry myself off thoroughly. I look around for clothes, but they are nowhere to be seen. "Where are some clothes?" I call out through the open door. Susan replies, "I have some out here, sweetie. Come on out."
"But Im naked!" I protest.
"Dont worry, no one but me and Jason will see you." She says soothingly. "Now, come on out, Loren."
Holding back my fear, I stride out into the living room. The air is warm and comforting. Jason is resting comfortably in his playpen, cuddling a small stuffed animal. Susan is crouching in front of a baby blanket. A diaper bag sits next to her, along with bottles of baby oil and powder. From what I can see, it is unzipped and I catch a glimpse of clothing inside. A bottle of formula rests snugly in one of the pockets. Susan pats the blanket and beckons me to lie down in front of her with my feet out towards her. I do as she says.
Susan opens the bottle of baby oil and begins to rub a generous amount in her hands. She looks at me and smiles. "Loren, " she begins. "Do you remember what I said before I put you down for a nap?" I think back, the memory is slightly hazy, but I recall what she had told me. "Youre going to put me in diapers?" I ask quizzically. Susan nods, "Yes, I am. You have shown me you cannot control yourself, so I will treat you as a baby until you can learn to do so." She begins to rub the oil into my crotch, I jump at first, not used to the idea of another person touching me there, then I relax, enjoying the scent of the oil and the soothing touch of her hands. She lifts my legs and smoothes the oil into my buttocks. "When it is time for you to leave, you may have your old clothes back. When you come inside from here on out, I want you to immediately go into the nursery, take off all your clothes, get up on the changing table, and wait for me." She pauses, "Okay?" I nod, barely able to say anything. My dream of wearing diapers was about to become true! I tried to conceal my happiness, but Susan seemed to sense that as she put a liberal amount of baby powder on my crotch. The tingling coolness made me laugh in spite of myself.
"That tickles!" I laugh. Susan smiles and says, "you like it dont you? You have always wanted to wear diapers again. You would like to wear baby clothes, sleep in a crib, and drink from a bottle?" The look of shock on my face makes Susan laugh as she rubs the powder into my crotch and thighs. "Dont be so surprised, honey. " She says comfortingly. "I have seen the way you look longingly at Jason as I dress him, or put him in his high chair. You have also seemed happiest when we walk down the diaper aisle in the supermarket. " She looks down at me as she pulls out a thick, disposable diaper out of the bag. "Am I right?" Amazed at this insight, I manage a surprised nod. She smiles, opening the diaper. I love the sound of the crinkling as she prepares it for wearing. She pulls the bottle of formula out from its pouch and puts it in my mouth. "Okay honey, time to be quiet." She says, "Drink up!"
I grasp the bottle in my hands and obey, drinking the sweet liquid greedily. She grabs my legs gently and lifts my buttocks off the blanket to swiftly slide the diaper under. She lets me down gently and coos, "Now, my little one is going to be all nice and snug in his clothes, isnt he?" I nod, shaking the contents of the bottle as I do so. I sigh happily and relax as she pulls the crinkling diaper over my crotch; she then pulls one side over and fastens the tape to it, then the other. Now I am immersed in cottony softness, the feeling is like a warm hug from a close friend. I kick my legs out happily, enjoying the feeling. Susan smiles, "I am glad my little one is happy." She turns again to the diaper bag and pulls a multicolored romper out, the fabric on the back is all red and the sleeves and leggings are in blue, as is the collar. There are also snaps in the crotch, which are sewn into the lining=2E On the front is an applique of a cute, baby bunny. Susan takes to bottle out of my mouth and I begin to make a noise in protest.
She silences me. "Dont worry, you will get it back as soon as I get this around your neck, okay?" I pout, but nod in agreement. She unsnaps the crotch and bunches up the romper to put it around my neck. She hands me the bottle and again I drink hungrily. She grabs one of my arms and puts it through on of the sleeves, causing me to hold on to the bottle with one hand, then switch as she puts my other arm through the opposite sleeve. Susan unfolds the romper to stretch it until the opening in the leggings is at the right place. She snaps the buttons firmly in place, then sits me up. By this time, I am almost finished with my bottle.
A short time later, Susan hands me Ted E. and pulls the empty bottle out of my mouth to replace it with a pacifier. She helps me up to lead me to the playpen, where Jason is now awake. "Okay, you two. Play nice, now." She says. Jason cries happily as he sees me, then gives me a hug. "Pway wif me?" he encourages. I hug him back, and say, "Okay!" my voice is slightly muffled from behind the pacifier. Inside the playpen are soft blocks that we begin to stack on to one another, creating a building. I am so happy! Here I am, wearing a diaper and behaving as a baby! My dream has been fulfilled, and this is only the beginning of a long pleasant journey.
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