Sweet B@by J@mes I've been interested in diapers and babyish things for as long as I can remember. The BeginningWhen I was about seven years old, I started to wet my pjs on purpose when I was in bed at night. This became the beginning of almost 35 years of wetting and other things. I would start by laying in bed trying to drift off to sleep with few real thoughts in my head. When the urge to pee came over me, I loved the feeling. It was fantastic. I would encourage it to come on. Eventually, the urge would become great and I would try to let a little squirt come out.Most times I could control it - only a small amount would come out. I loved the feeling of releasing a small amount and then stopping. I loved the feeling of wet pjs even more. I continued to do this for several years.Occasionally, things would get a little out of control and I would wet more than just my pjs. Several times between the ages of seven and eleven, I would have wet the bed enough for my mother to make a comment about wet clothes and sheets. It didn't stop me from continuing. I would have loved to have been able to wet the bed in my sleep - just for the feeling of loss of control, but fear of getting caught kept me from doing it.One time I remember going to spend the weekend at my aunt's house. Just my sister and I got to stay. While we were there, I did wet the bed. I guess cuz I was in a different bed or house or something. It felt great for a second in the morning and then the fear came when I realized that I couldn't hide the wetness. My aunt was fantastic. She helped me out of my clothes, changed the bed, and never said anything to my parents.Teenage YearsWhen I was a teenager, I continued to play the same games at night. But now I expanded the areas where I would do things. I would wet my pants, just a little while playing, so I could feel the warmth and the cool dampness when things started to dry. When I was 13, a friend was talking about pooping in his pants. It started as an accident for him, but eventually became something that he did on purpose. I tried it and found out that it felt fantastic. The first time I went in my pants I flashed to a time when I was six and all bundled up in a snow suit on a cold, snowy day. Like most children, I wanted to continue to play and waited til the last minute to come in and use the bathroom.I came in and called up to my mom to let her know I needed help getting all of the snow suit, boots etc. off before I could get my pants down. She was on the phone and couldn't help me.In my struggle to get everything off, I lost control. I filled my pants with pee and poop and immediately started to cry. The feeling of release was fantastic. My mom came down stairs and was really nice as she helped me get undressed and into a nice hot bath. That same feeling came over me the first time I pooped my pants on purpose.The feeling of release and pleasure are fantastic (I get the same feeling today). Pooping in your pants is a lot harder to get away with that peeing, so I didn't get the opportunity to do it very often. When I did, I would try to line my underpants with paper towels or something, so I would leave a big stain. If I had a firm BM, there would be no problem. Every once in a while, I would miscalculate and create a messy poop. This would result in me throwing away my underwear and cleaning up as best as possible. I never got caught with messy pants, but my friend did once. This stopped my experimentation for a number of years.The ReawakeningWhen I was in college, I started reading Penthouse and Forum. Both of these magazines had great letters from the readers. Several letters talked about watersports and occasionally a letter from someone who wore diapers would be published. This got me thinking about wearing diapers instead of wetting and messing in my pants.It was so much simpler and easier to cleanup. I started looking for adult-sized diapers and eventually found some from mail-order places (I was too shy to buy them in person). I started wearing cloth diapers with very strange, panel-like plastic pants that left the sides of your body exposed. They worked fine for wetting, but could not contain a BM. For a while I refrained from pooping in diapers. I did all of this alone for a number of years. One day I got bold and started leaving magazines out that talked about diaper wearing. I started with leaving out Forum, since my wife would regularly read that. In the meantime, I found Nugget and eventually left that out for her to see.After several months of leaving hints, I asked my wife to help me with the diapers I had and asked her to make me some new cloth diapers. Much to my surprise, she agreed. I was in heaven. I no longer had to be alone when I wore my diapers. She started by bringing me into the bedroom, stripping off my clothes, powdering me, and then enveloping me in the new diapers she had made. Then she pulled out my first set of plastic pants that made me look like a baby. They snapped on the sides and had snaps on the insides for diaper liners. I wore them as often as I thought I could get away with it. One day, I asked her if she would like to wear diapers. She said yes, so I pulled out another pair of diapers and plastic pants and gave her the same treatment she gave to me. As I was putting on her diaper (I was already diapered -did it myself) I started to fondle her and get her to feel really relaxed. I worked on this for a long time. Her first diaper episode didn't result in wet diapers, but mine did!!! I continued to use my diapers, maybe weekly for their intended purpose.Sally may have used them once a month or so. She could not seem to relax enough to pee in her diaper. We tried everything; glasses of water, beer, whatever to the point of bursting but her training wouldn't allow her to let go (I on the other hand had almost 20 years of semi-practice by this point in time). We even tried using diuretics. She would pee some but never really got into it. We tried for several months and eventually she lost interest. At the time I lost interest too and put my diaper days on the back burner. I continued to use them off and on for several years without any really driving desire.Children and child diaper changes killed my wife's interest in diapers forever.Recent HistoryOver the past several years my diaper and baby activities have been solo efforts. Whenever I had the opportunity to be alone in the house, I would put on the cloth diapers and plastic pants that remained. There were several really exciting episodes during this time. My favorite involved getting dressed in my diapers and plastic pants, drinking all morning and waiting to see what happened. One morning I added some laxatives into the mix as I was feeling rather constipated. Things were going along fine with some brief but intense episodes of wetting. The double cloth diapers I was wearing, easily handled this with no problem. As the morning progressed, I started to feel the effects of the laxatives.Nothing major, just the feeling that I would be pooping soon. By late morning, the feeling was getting more intense. At this point I was afraid to wet anymore. Because I knew if I let go, everything would be coming out. Just then, as I was getting ready to head to an area where I was sure if I leaked I wouldn't make a big mess, the phone rang. I thought about not answering, as the time to let loose what was in my bowels was getting stronger. I did answer the phone; it was a good friend, whom I hadn't heard from in a long time. I knew we needed to talk, but at the same time, I knew I ";had to go.";We spoke on the phone from what seemed like hours. I know that I was distracted and on several occasions had to bend over to keep from letting everything inside me loose into my diaper. I tried as hard as I could to hold it, but during our conversation I couldn't hold it anymore and let loose with about a pound of poop into my already wet diapers. This was quickly followed by the backlog of pee in my bladder.The feeling was a combination of elation to finally relieve the pressure, surprise both at the velocity and volume, and pleasure. The feeling was unbelievable. After I finished messing my pants like a little baby, I continued to talk to my friend. It was fantastic and basically hooked me into continuing my diaper play. This episode with wetting and messing my diaper, after holding it as long as I could has stuck with me to this day. Now I try to wear diapers several times a week, just for the pleasure I get from letting loose and knowing that I don't have to get up. I generally use disposables now, since they are more convenient and are definitely easier to clean up. I try to buy Depends Overnight or when I can find them Attends Ultra. Both of them work quite well. If I'm in a particularly babyish mood, I will sometimes add a Huggies on the inside with holes punched in the liner to allow the wetness to seep through.Summer VacationRecently summer vacation has become a ";real life babay"; vacation for me. Generally the family goes on vacations together. We all go away, but eventually work calls and I have to go back to the business of making money. I usually have somewhere between three and 10 days alone in the house for my vacation as a baby. The first thing I do when I get home is go out and buy a large supply of Attends, some Huggies or Luvs and stuffers and some laxatives, usually a bulk laxative like FiberCon or Per Diem and another pill laxative. This is the start of my vacation. I start by stripping down and trimming the hair in the diaper area to allow for easier cleanups (Unfortunately I haven't ever shaved everything ";yet";). Then I pull out some baby powder and dust myself with powder and pull on a diaper. For the next three or four days I have a diaper on all the time, even when I have to go out. The diaper is there for what it was intended for. I also start taking the bulk laxative, building up for what will become an intense experience at some point over the next several days. I will take triple dosages of a pill laxative, like Dulcolax, and wait to see what happens. I love the feeling of never knowing when the urge to poop will be overwhelming. Then I'll try to struggle and hold on as long as I can. After setting up the situation, I go about my normal business, only I'm in diapers. When I am wet, I go and get changed and put on another diaper. During the day I generally go through three to four diapers. At night before bed time, I get changed into another Attend, only I add a layer of Huggies to provide extra absorbency just in case. Most nights I don't wet in my sleep, but I do come pretty close at times. One night in my most recent ";baby vacation"; the bulk laxative and Dulcolax started to work in the night. I felt some cramping at about 2:30 in the morning. I didn't want to get up so rather than lay there suffering, I just let it go.It was wonderful. The feeling of relief was unbelievable. I felt just like a baby. I grabbed my teddy bear, hugged her, and fell back to sleep. About two hours later, the same feeling came over me. This time the feeling wasn't as urgent, but I had to pee too. Again I let it all go; filling my diaper to the maximum. I fell asleep again and woke around 7:00. It was obvious that my diaper was not able to handle everything that I had produced in the night. I got out of bed stripped off my diaper and hopped into a shower to get cleaned up. Then I re-diapered and started the task of stripping the bed sheets and cleaning up the rest of the mess I had made. The laxatives continued to work for about another two hours. I was a mess most of the day, but loved every minute of it.And just to think, I still had four more days of vacation to go!!!Well that's pretty much up to date for me. I still try to wear diapers as often as I can. It is difficult to mess them frequently, but I still try to do it once a week. I can hardly wait til the next time I get to take a vacation.