AGES AND STAGES

Part 1

	It was a rainy Friday afternoon when Karen Matthews found 
herself pouring out her soul to her new neighbor. It seemed 
inappropriate, she'd invited this woman over to get to know her 
and introduce her to the neighborhood. But the baby pictures, the 
ones of John, had finally triggered something deep inside her. Why 
had she chosen so long ago to work from home if she wasn't going 
to be needed? She felt like a cook, a chauffeur, a maid. She 
didn't feel like a mom.
	Prof. Joan Moullier listened to all of this attentively. 
Finally she asked, "Have you ever considered that you feel an urge 
to take care of your son because he needs to cared for?"
	Karen stared for a second at this odd woman. She'd heard her 
stories of living with tribal people all over the world. She'd 
heard of their about their customs, their rituals, and now this 
women who came to her door adorned in pendants and charms no 
longer seemed like a flake but a deeply wise women. And now she'd 
said something that had lurked in Karen's mind for months, 
something she knew but couldn't bring her self to acknowledge. 
John was edging up on 13. She'd dismissed her maternal instincts 
as selfish. The boy rejected every attempt to mother him. But 
there something about his rejections rang untrue.
	She began to tell her visitor that she may just be right, but 
Joan interrupted. "I have a feeling that if you just follow your 
instincts everything will turn out right." An odd twinkle danced 
in her eyes. Prof. Moullier excused herself and tentative plans 
for another lunch together were made.
	When John came home a plate of cookies and a mug off milk 
were waiting for him. This had been a familiar ritual until he was 
9. He hesitated to take them, but he was hungry, and it somehow 
seemed right. He shouted a thank-you up the stairs and settled 
down in front of the TV with his snack.
	He went to bed earlier than usual for a Friday night. His 
mother insisted on, explaining that they had a lot to do tomorrow. 
He didn't argue, he felt tired anyway, and he fell asleep quickly. 
He dreamed he was standing in a river, as the water flowed around 
him he felt content as if it were washing away all his worries.
	He awoke cold and wet. This was not something that had ever 
happened before. He had no idea what would happen if mother 
discovered he'd wet his bed, and he was far too embarrassed to 
find out. He made up his mind to hide the evidence. He could stuff 
the sheets in the closet and wash them later when he was alone. 
This plan was doomed to failure.
	Karen opened the door to her son's room and found a boy 
standing by the side of his bed in very wet pajamas. "I spilled 
some water," the boy stammered. But the truth was all too 
apparent. Tears came to his eyes. There were just no words that 
could explain away the shame. She hugged him and tried to reassure 
him that one little accident didn't mean anything. But this child, 
who had once been at the threshold of the teen years, ready for 
independence, was now a little boy in wet bedclothes who needed 
his mommy to brush away the tears, clean up his bed, and make him 
feel better. As it would turn out this was glimpse of the future 
as much as it was a look back at the past.

Part 2

	At that moment John felt weak. All he could do was hold his 
head on his mother's shoulder and cry. "Everything's going to be 
alright, let's just get you out these wet things," she cooed 
softly. He allowed her to strip off his wet clothes. It had been 
years since she'd seen him naked, but his privacy had already been 
shattered by his accident. So he stood still while his mother slid 
down his soaked pajama bottoms. "Raise your arms, honey." He 
meekly complied as she pulled off his shirt.
	The thought of giving her son a bath crossed Karen's mind but 
she immediately let go of it. She didn't even quite know why she'd 
undressed him, he just seemed so small and helpless, even cute. 
She felt the power to make everything right again and did what she 
felt her boy needed.
	"Now go ahead and take a shower, I'll clean all this up. 
Don't worry about anything, no one needs to know about one little 
accident."
	Neither one of them spoke of John's bedwetting again that 
day. And when John went to bed he was worried but was confident 
the incident would not be repeated. In his dream he was at home 
when he felt the need to pee. But the bathroom door was locked. As 
he struggled with it his bladder began to dribble, finally he 
could control himself no longer and could do nothing as watched 
the dark spot grow across his pants. He looked up to see his 
mother who took him by the hand and led him down the hall to his 
room. Only this room was furnished with a crib, a rocking chair, 
and a changing table stocked with baby powder, baby wipes and 
fresh diapers. When he woke up he once again felt cold and wet. 
He'd wet his bed again, and this time he'd soaked himself 
thoroughly.
	Karen knew to check on John that morning. She found exactly 
what she suspected, there was John sitting in his soaking wet bed 
trying not to cry. She sat down next to him and rubbed his back.
	"Are you feeling OK?"
	"Yeah, I don't know why this is happening. I didn't do it on 
purpose."
	"I know, baby, but we're going to have to go to the doctor, 
I'll try to see if we can get in today. Now stand up."
	John stood and once again allowed his mother to undress him 
and went to take his shower.
	Karen stripped down his bed and went to the hall closet. She 
dug into the back and retrieved what she'd been looking for, 
John's plastic sheets from when he was only a toddler. It was all 
she could do to protect the mattress she thought. She only hoped 
he wouldn't mind the teddy-bear print too much.
	John sat glumly in the pediatrician's waiting room. He was 
embarrassed to have his mom know about his little night-time 
problem, he certainly didn't want to talk to the doctor about it. 
He hoped that somehow he'd be forgotten and he'd be able to go 
home and keep his secret.
	But his name was called and he was led with his mother into 
an examination room. He was weighed and measured. At barely 4 and 
a half feet and 65 pounds he was the smallest kid in his class. 
The nurse, trying to cheer him up, noted that he'd grown quite a 
bit since his last visit. But he knew he was a little kid with a 
little kid's problem.
	The nurse left the room asking John to strip to his underwear 
for his examination. He did as his mom took his clothes and folded 
them into a nice pile on the chair next to her. The doctor came in 
and for what seemed like an eternity he and his mother discussed 
each of his recent accidents. He turned increasingly red as his 
mother recounted his potty training. She even told about the 
accident he'd had on a 2nd grade field trip.
	Dr. McDade ordered some tests and when everything was 
finished John's mother handed him back his clothes and he left 
feeling like everyone knew what a baby he was.
	John was determined not to wet that night. He made sure not 
drink after 6:00 and went to the bathroom right before going to 
bed. He climbed into bed and heard his shameful bedsheet rustle 
beneath him. Every time he turned over he was reminded that he was 
sleeping on a teddy-bear printed sheet designed to lessen the 
effects of a toddler's toilet training mishaps.
	"Honey wake up."
	John came drowsily back awake to find his mother gently 
stroking his head. "You've had another accident." He was wet down 
to his knees and almost up to his chest. His efforts had been 
futile. He was doomed, it seemed, to wet himself at night.
	John went to school with the almost certain knowledge that he 
was the only student at his middle school who was stripped out of 
his pee-pee soaked PJs by his mom. Meanwhile, back at home Karen 
got the call from Dr. McDade.
	"You said he only began wetting Friday night?" the doctor 
asked incredulously.
	"Yes. It was the first time since he was in pre-school. Why?"
	"The neurological development of John's bladder is only a 
little more developed than that of a very young child. There's no 
way he could stay dry through the night. I suppose his bladder 
could have regressed, but I've never heard of any such thing. I'll 
have to do some research, just handle the problem as you see fit."
	Karen knew what she'd have to do. It was necessary to cut 
back and laundry and make sure John got a good night's sleep. She 
felt badly for John, she knew he was already embarrassed. But she 
also felt this was needed for other reasons, for the good of both 
of them.
	It seemed like yesterday that he was still a baby. He was 
cute then. And now, despite his age he still was. A mother of one 
of John's friends had commented how much younger John looked than 
his peers, and how despite being in Jr. High he still something 
about him that was as cute as any small child.
	His seemingly perpetual baby-like quality would make it 
easier for her to take care of him in the way he needed it. In 
fact she looked forward to it. She hoped he would see why this 
step had to be taken. She hoped even more that maybe he'd 
appreciate it.
	John came home to find his mother waiting for him on the 
couch. "Come here honey, we have to talk." John had some idea what 
she was going to say, but he sat down next to her any way.
	Karen hugged her son and began to explain the situation "The 
doctor called back with the test results today. They can't tell 
what's wrong but he says that it's not your fault. You bladder 
just can't make it through the night. So for right now you'll wet 
your bed almost every night."
	Tears came to John's eyes as it dawned on him what was 
happening, Karen drew him closer. "Now honey, we can't have you 
waking up in wet PJs every night. So I've decided to put you back 
in diapers."
	"Please don't. I'll try. I'm not a baby," John protested.
	"Look I decided when to let you out of diapers I can decide 
when to put you back in them. You need a good night's sleep and I 
can't do laundry all day. Now do you understand why you need 
diapers."
	John began to stop crying. He understood that this best for 
him, and while he was embarrassed he also felt oddly comforted. He 
nodded "Yes."
	"And will you let me diaper you until we can solve this 
problem?"
	"Yes."
	"OK, that's a good boy. Now let's go to the store."
	
	Part 3

	Her little boy needed her and Karen was happy to take of care 
of him. She worried that his problem was a sign of something else. 
But for right now her son need her to diaper him. She looked 
forward to it actually. She felt a bit guilty about it, but she 
just wanted her baby back.
	John was just happy the supermarket wasn't busy. The last 
thing that he wanted his anyone seeing his mom buying his diapers. 
He stood in the parking lot and hesitated. "Maybe" he thought "if 
I just don't go in. She won't buy them."
	But his mom was more persistent than that. "Now come on, 
honey," she said, taking his hand. And so he was led to the diaper 
aisle by the hand. There in aisle 12 was a wall of diapers, 
colorful packages intended for small children who hadn't mastered 
potty-training. And one of those packages was meant for John.
	He just watched as his mother browsed the selection. And then 
it occurred to him, "Nothing would fit." "There couldn't possibly 
be a diaper big enough for me," he thought, "these are baby 
diapers, and I'm not a baby."
	"Here, these will be perfect!" His mother interrupted his 
thoughts. "Pampers size 7, no more wet PJs honey these will keep 
you dry."
	John was flabbergasted. He glanced up and down the aisle to 
make sure they were still alone. Why was his mom being so 
indiscrete?
	"Oh I'm sorry. You probably don't want anyone to know these 
are for you. You can go wait in the car while I pay for them."
	Finally there was some way out of the embarrassment. John 
walked swiftly, restraining the urge to run so as not to draw 
attention, back to the car and waited. He'd actually found his 
mother's words strangely comforting. He hated waking up in a cold 
wet bed. And, if he was honest with himself, he enjoyed the extra 
attention he'd been getting. Growing up was stressful. Maybe it 
would be nice to take a break from it.
	Karen put two packages of diapers in her cart along with some 
baby powder and diaper-rash cream, and wheeled her cart to the 
check-out stand. " So is your little one at home?" Inquired the 
clerk as she scanned the items.
	"No actually he's in the car," Karen replied. She noticed the 
clerk was rather taken a back by the idea of leaving a small child 
in the car.
	"Oh, he's twelve-years old. He'd hate to have me go around 
blabbing, but he started wetting the bed recently. I thought these 
might keep him comfortable and cut back on the laundry."
	"You know I used to wish mine were bedwetters. They grow up 
so fast and sometimes you just want to baby them."
	"I know how you feel. I know its hard for him, but these 
diapers are just so cute I can't wait to get them on him."
	The clerk handed her the change. "Well, I'd try to make the 
most of it if I were you," she said.
	Back at home John sat and watched TV. The rain roared 
outside. Snow would was in the near future according to the 
weatherman. Karen made two cups of hot cocoa. When John was 
younger she used to sit with on nights like this and drink hot 
cocoa with him while they watched TV. She thought that reverting 
to some of these old habits might make the notion of going back to 
diapers more comfortable to John. It was her way of giving him 
permission to be little again.
	She handed him his mug. "Here, you've been really brave about 
this. I thought I'd do something special for you."
	"Thanks." John sipped his cocoa and chatted with his mother 
as they watched TV. It all felt very cozy and familiar. His 
resistance to the idea of wearing diapers was beginning to crack. 
Deep down inside he knew he needed it.
	At nine Karen checked her watch. "Its time to get you ready 
for bed, honey," she said.
	She picked up the bag from the store and led John up the 
stairs and into his room.
	"Just sit down," she said, patting the foot of John's bed. 
John complied. She began untying his shoelaces.
	"Mom! I can undress myself," John said with more than a hint 
of indignation.
	"Oh, just relax. You take so long to get undressed, I just 
don't want to wait for you." She continued about her business, 
removing each of John's shoes, then his socks.
	"Now lift your arms." She took off his shirt, folded it and 
set it neatly on the dresser.
	"Now lie back." John saw no reason to resist at this point 
and did as he was told. He could only watch as his mother undid 
his button, unzipped his pants and slid them down to his ankles. 
They were quickly removed, folded, and set on top of his shirt. 
Then he was stripped of his underwear. He lay there vulnerable as 
can be while his mother prepared to diaper him.
	Out from the bag came a tube of diaper-rash cream. "I noticed 
some red spots. I'd better take care of those before they become a 
rash," his mother said as she rubbed the cream into his skin. It 
was a shock to go from being nearly a teenager to having his mom 
apply cream to his butt. But it was calming to, he knew he was in 
caring, loving hands.
	The came the baby powder which was applied liberally to his 
entire diaper area. The smell set off a wave of sensations in 
John's mind. His embarrassment was coupled with an overwhelming 
sense of well-being.
	Finally a bag of Pampers came out of the bag. John watched as 
his mother opened it and pulled a perfectly folded white diaper 
from the package. "Lift up your behind, baby," his mother cooed.
	John did as he was told and the diaper was slid underneath 
him. She pulled it up snuggly between his legs, and expertly taped 
both sides firmly in place. She smiled down at her son. His last 
bit of resistance had crumbled, he felt good being his mommy's 
baby. He couldn't help but smile back.
	"There now, that wasn't so bad, was it?" Karen said as she 
pulled a pair of PJs from the dresser. John just shook his head. 
She helped him into his pajamas, pulling them up the bottoms and 
fastening the buttons on the top. She pulled back the covers and 
patted John's butt as he climbed in.
	"I think you're cute in diapers."
	John blushed. She leant over and kissed him on the forehead.
	"Good-night, sweet-heart."
	She turned off the lights and closed the door behind her.

Part 4

	The diaper crinkled with every move John made. If anyone from 
school knew about his he'd die of embarrassment, but this was the 
most relaxed he'd felt in days. Secure in the knowledge that he'd 
wake up in a nice clean bed no matter what, that in the morning 
his mom would come in to change him, he drifted off to sleep.
	In the dim light of morning John slowly came awake. 
Remembering the past few mornings he felt his sheets. "They're 
dry!" he thought to himself "Its finally over." Then he remembered 
that he'd been well diapered the night before.
	His mom walked into the room humming contentedly to herself. 
"Good morning, let's see how that diaper did." She reached under 
the covers and touched a hand to his backside.
	"All dry." She reached underneath his PJs and stuck a finger 
into his waistband. "My, you really did wet last night. Let's get 
you out of that soaked thing."
	She gently pulled down his bottoms and untaped his diaper. 
She disposed of it in a pail next to the bed. She took a baby wipe 
and wiped down his diaper area. "There we go, all nice and clean. 
We can't have any rashes developing. Now go ahead and shower."
	John felt almost out of line taking care of his own hygiene 
at this point. But he wanted scrub off the slightest hint of baby 
smell. He got out of the shower and went into his room. On his bed 
his mom had laid out his clothes. They had a certain juvenile 
quality to them but he knew that he going to have to wear them.
	The routine of the school day faded into the background as 
John contemplated the events of the last few days. There was some 
hope. As long as no one found out he could live with this slightly 
unusual arrangement. Lunch drew near as he felt his bladder begin 
to beg for emptying.
	"I can hold it for 15 minutes" he told himself. But the urge 
became stronger. He was ready to burst. He began to raise his hand 
when the trickle began. He panicked at the wet warmth and the 
trickle became a stream. He had no control over it, he tried to 
stop it, but the huge wet spot grew across his pants as a puddle 
gathered at his feet. His pants, his shirt, his socks, everything 
was soaked.
	Mrs. Clark noticed the look of distress on John's face.
	"John, is there something you find shocking about Algebra."
	"I... I..."
	"Did you... Did you wet your pants?"
	John could only offer a mortified nod as laughter rose from 
the rest of the class.
	Mrs. Clark sighed softly. "Go to the front office. They'll 
have someone pick you up."
	John walked out of the class room trying to ignore everyone 
else. John wondered what would happen at the office. Would he have 
to confess that was a bedwetter as well? Would he have to tell 
them that he wore baby diapers at night?
	He approached the front desk. The secretary, Ms. Johnson, was 
going some paperwork. "What do you need?" She asked his without 
looking up.
	"I..." The words caught in his throat. He would have to admit 
his childish act. "I wet my pants," he stammered. "Could you call 
my mom and ask her to pick me up?"
	Ms. Johnson looked up "Oh," she said taking a tone one would 
take with a much younger child "Yes, of course, just sit down and 
we'll see what we can do."
	John gave her the phone number as she dialed.
	"Hello, Mrs. Matthews, this is John's school. It seems that 
John had an accident... No he's fine what I mean is he wet pants. 
Yes, we don't really have a policy for this but we'd allow you to 
just pick him up. So you'll be over? Great, he'll be waiting right 
here in the office."
	"She says she'll be right over."
	A towel was placed over a seat and John sat and waited. His 
wet clothes clung to his skin and provided a constant reminder 
that he'd done something one might expect of a Kindergartner. And 
right now he wanted his mom the way a five year-old might. He just 
wanted to go home, whatever decision she made for him would be 
fine by him.
	Karen made her way to John's school. She'd thought this might 
happen and she was prepared to take her boy home. She entertained 
the idea that Jr. High wasn't the place for him. Maybe, for just a 
little while, it would be best if he stayed at home where she 
could look after him.
	She signed him out of school and ushered him into the car. "I 
know its not your fault, honey. I'm just going to take you home 
and let you clean up. But you need to understand that you may have 
to start wearing diapers during the day, too."
	At home John showered and once again dressed in clothes his 
mother had picked out for him. He went into the living room and 
watched TV. His mother joined him and shortly afterwards an ad for 
Pampers came on.
	John blushed slightly at the ad. The leak guards, the 
absorbency, these were things that now kept his PJs dry at night. 
It caught Karen's eye as well. She was once again among the 
mothers who purchased diapers. This ad was aimed at her, a 
concerned parent who wanted to keep her baby dry and comfortable.
	Later, just before six, Karen interrupted John's video game. 
"How about going out pizza?"
	John loved the idea. He put on his shoes and coat.
	On the way out the door Karen paused and turned to John "Why 
don't you go potty before we leave. I don't want any problem while 
we're out."
	John was a bit embarrassed to have his mother regulate his 
trips to the bathroom. But he knew it was a good idea.
	At the pizza parlor they ate their pizza and talked. Karen 
paid the bill and left a tip on the table.
	"Honey, why don't you try going potty again. You really drank 
a lot of soda."
	John nearly died at the thought that somebody may have heard 
that. But no one seemed to notice so he walked into the bathroom. 
He was certain he didn't need to go, but he wasn't going to argue 
with his mother.
	But he did need to go, and badly. He worried about he hadn't 
been able to feel it. Was he really becoming a baby? He didn't 
tell his mother about it hoping it would all just go away.
	Later that evening John was watching TV with his mother. Once 
again he felt the urge to pee. This time it was strong and sudden. 
Knowing he was in dire straits he started to get up. But it was 
already too late. He had no control over the flow of pee. He was 
soon sitting in a puddle.
	Karen came into the living-room with two mugs of hot cocoa in 
her hands. The first thing she noticed was the look of horror on 
her son's face. Then she saw his wet pants. Her first thought was 
that he needed her more than she ever imagined.
	She walked over to him and knelt down. He rose to his knees 
and hugged her, crying on her shoulder.
	"There, there, honey. It's not your fault."
	She patted his back. Suddenly she knew that she had to follow 
her instinct. "Honey, do you want me to take care of this?"
	The words were somewhat cryptic but John grasped their subtle 
meaning. He nodded. She took his hand and led him upstairs into 
the bathroom. She put the plug into the tubs drain and began 
running warm water.
	"Just sit down, baby," she said, removing his shoes and socks 
after he complied. She then had him stand up and removed his wet 
pants and underwear. Soon he was completely undressed. "Now get in 
the tub."
	John got in the tub still sniffing and gulping. His mother 
wet a washcloth and began gently rubbing his back.
	"There now, everything is going to be just fine. Just sit 
there and you'll be all clean and feel much better."
	Soon he began to calm down. His despair began to melt as he 
listened to his mother's soft word they grew into an indistinct 
lull.
	After he got out of the bath she wrapped a towel around him 
and dried him off. "Its pretty late so I think I'll get I'll just 
get you ready for bed now."
	John followed her into his room with only a towel to cover 
him. As she gathered his diaper supplies he laid down on his bed. 
She applied diaper cream, powdered him and taped him up in a 
diaper. She selected the cutest PJs she could find and helped him 
into them.
	"Now lets go watch some TV before bed, OK?"
	It was odd walking with a diaper on for the first time he 
could remember, but there was also a feeling of contentment that 
came from being freshly scrubbed and diapered The PJs he was 
wearing were rather thin though and on this chilly night he soon 
grew cold.
	Karen noticed his shivering. She went to the closet and took 
out a blanket. "John, honey, are you cold?"
	"Yeah."
	"Well, come over here."
	She wrapped him tightly in the blanket and pulled him across 
her lap. After a moment of surprise, John simply smiled and rested 
his head on her shoulder. After a while a thought occurred to him. 
He knew it was odd but it somehow made sense.
	"Mom?" he said.
	"Yes honey?"
	"Would it be alright if I called you 'mommy' again?"
	"Of course it would," she grinned. She was a mommy again.
	"OK mommy," John said. He settled his head back down on his 
mommy's shoulder and closed his eyes. Before long he drifted off 
to sleep.

Part 5

	Karen held the boy in her arms softly humming a lullaby. He 
was so little for his age, his peers where beginning to look like 
adolescence but he still looked every bit a child. His voice was 
still soft and sweet. To hear it say "mommy" made her heart melt. 
If there was anyway to freeze this moment in time she would.
	She gently roused him and led him to bed by the hand. 
Listening to the frigid blasts of wind whistling outside she 
tucked him in tightly in his warm bed. "Goodnight, sweetheart," 
she said and kissed him on the forehead.
	"Good night, mommy," he said before quickly falling back into 
his sound sleep.
	The clock-radio buzzed to life at its usual six o'clock. The 
news crackled through the aging speakers. "...road closures due to 
last night's snow storm have forced area schools to close. 
Elsewhere in the county..." Karen clicked it off. She thought John 
needed a vacation anyway.
	She went downstairs and made herself a pot of coffee. She'd 
let him sleep in today. She sat and read the paper feeling 
perfectly disconnected from the turmoil that exited outside her 
home. Her boy was safe at home still in diapers with a loving 
mommy to look after him. There was nothing to worry about out 
there.
	After she was finished with the paper she walked back 
upstairs and woke John up.
	"No school today, the snow closed it down."
	That was an incredible relief for John. He didn't want to go 
back to school the day after he'd wet his pants in front of 
everyone. Without saying a word his mommy slid down his PJs and 
removed his diaper. He started to get out of bed.
	"I'm sorry, baby," she said as she took a fresh diaper from 
the package "I want you to wear diapers during the day for right 
now. Yesterday didn't go very well. I just don't want to take any 
chances."
	He was slightly embarrassed but he knew that she knew what 
was best. He lay back down on his bed and was soon diapered again.
	"Since you had a bath last night I don't think I'll bathe you 
right now," she said as she dressed him for the day. "Come on, 
I'll make you some breakfast."
	They went downstairs and Karen cooked up a nice breakfast for 
the two of them.
	"So, do you want to go out in the snow?"
	John did, of course. He loved snowball fights as much as any 
other kid. But he worried that his diaper might be discovered, or 
worse yet, it might leak.
	"No I think I'll just stay inside for right now."
	"I understand. How about a game of checkers?"
	It had been quite a few years since John had played anything 
with his mommy. He thought it sounded better than watching TV.
	Karen sat and played with her little boy. The rustle of his 
diaper and the fresh scent of his baby powder reminded her of when 
was just a baby.
	"You're a pretty cute little guy, you know?" she said.
	John blushed. "Thanks." He paused for a moment. "I'm sorry, 
mommy."
	"Sorry about what, honey?"
	"I'm sorry that you have to change my diapers and 
everything."
	"Honey, I'll always be happy to do whatever you need. That's 
what I'm here for. You may think this is crazy, but I sort of like 
it this way."
	John was a bit taken aback. He never thought she might have 
actually enjoyed this. "I kind of like it, too. Sometimes I kind 
of miss being a little kid, you know?"
	Karen grinned at him and gave him a pat on the head. "I 
understand baby, I understand."

Part 6

	It was nearly noon and John was lying on the couch watching 
cartoons. He became dimly aware of a need to empty his bladder. He 
could barely even think about his when pee began to flow into his 
diaper. At first he was shocked, but then he realized that his 
diaper had done its job. He now knew just how badly he needed 
diapers. He had no more control over his bladder than the toddlers 
his Pampers were intended for. His mommy had made the right 
decision for him.
	He went into the kitchen. "Mommy?" the words caught in his 
throat, but then he thought about how she had cared for him these 
past few days and he knew it was safe to say them "Will you change 
me?"
	"Of course, baby. Just let me get everything."
	John started up the stairs but his mommy called to him "I 
have some of the stuff down here. There's no reason I can't change 
you down here and it will be more convenient during the day."
	John walked back into the living room as his mother was 
laying out a changing pad. "Just lay down here."
	As she was removed John's soaked diaper she talked to him. "I 
think I'm going to pull you out of school for a little while and 
home-school you. I just want to be sure that your OK while you 
have this problem. Would that be OK?"
	John understood. If he was going to have to wear diapers like 
a baby he would have to stay home with his mommy like a baby. He 
smiled, he was finally getting out of having to go to school."
	"Yes mommy, that's OK."
	Karen finished taping the new diaper place. "That's great, 
I'll get the paperwork tomorrow. Now how about some lunch?"
	The day went by lazily. John grew bored and got some old toys 
from the back of his closet. While Karen worked at the computer he 
was in the next room playing with his Hot Wheels. His concern for 
even paying attention to his bladder faded further and further. 
The next time he needed to go he didn't even try to hold it he 
just it go. He was lovingly changed and went back to playing.
	That night Karen walked into his room. "Bath time," she said 
and instructed John to sit on his bed. She undressed him, removed 
his diaper, and led him down the hall to the bathroom. She started 
the water and added some bubble bath. She gave John a playful slap 
on his butt as he stepped into the tub and began scrubbing him as 
if it was the most natural thing in the world.
	Karen was amazed at how just a little bit of motherly love 
had brought at the baby in John. He was perfectly happy to allow 
her to dress him, bathe him, and change his diapers. She wondered 
how far she could take it and an idea occurred to her.
	"I have to go to the store tomorrow. Do you want to make a 
day out of it?"
	John knew we was going have to leave the house with his 
diaper on someday. He just didn't want to do it so soon.
	"Oh baby, I'll make sure no one knows you're wearing a 
diaper. We'll just go out and have some fun. OK?"
	John nodded and smiled. She smiled back and when she had her 
little boy thoroughly scrubbed she got him out the bath and dried 
him.
	Back in his room she put a fresh diaper on him on got him in 
his PJs. Then she left the room and came back with the rocking 
chair from the next room. She beside the bed and sat down. "Now 
come here, baby."
	John climbed into his mommy's lap and got comfortable. Karen 
grabbed a book from the top of the dresser. "I thought you might 
like a little story before bedtime."
	John closed his eyes as he listened to his mommy read from an 
old book of fairy tales. It was warm and safe in his mommy's arms. 
He hoped that this would become the nightly ritual he dimly 
remembered from long ago. He slowly drifted off to sleep somewhere 
in the middle of Jack and the Beanstalk.
	Karen quietly closed the book and set it down on the dresser. 
She lifted her boy into bed, she surprised by how light he was. 
She could almost carry him like an infant. She pulled the covers 
across him quietly made her way out of the room.
	The next morning John was woken up changed out of his wet 
diaper and into a new one. After breakfast Karen put on his shoes 
and coat and got him ready to go out for the day. She even grabbed 
a few diapers and stuck them in her purse.
	Their first stop was the zoo. Since it was the middle of the 
day on a weekday the zoo was filled with mother's taking their 
small children to see the animals. It occurred to John that he was 
just another baby going to the park with his mommy. The thought 
occurred to Karen too who felt a special kinship with the other 
mommies.
	There was a slight crinkle as John walked and he smelled 
faintly of baby powder. It wasn't anything very noticeable. Except 
that maybe, on a subconscious level, it made others perceive him 
as babyish.
	"Mommy, can you notice?" John whispered when he saw that no 
one else was within earshot.
	"No, baby. I'm sure I'm the only one who knows."
	After the zoo they decided to head to the mall. John always 
enjoyed going the arcade and looking at video games. But he was 
beginning to worry how long he could keep his diapers secret.

Part 7

	On the way to the mall Karen pulled into a little coffee 
shop. "I think we ought to get a little bit of lunch before we get 
the mall. The food court is always so crowded."
	Inside they sat down, John ordered a burger off the 
children's menu, something he hadn't done in a while. They sat and 
they talked for a while until something struck John as funny. He 
laughed long and hard until a quick trickle of pee streamed into 
his diaper.
	Karen could tell something was wrong. She leaned across the 
table and whispered, "Did you wet?" John nodded. She unzipped her 
purse where she'd stashed some diapers and started to get up.
	"Come on. I think there's a couch in the women's room. I'll 
just..."
	While John had come to accept being diapered at home, he was 
still to embarrassed to be changed in public.
	"No, mommy," John whispered, "it's just a little wet."
	"OK, I suppose you can wait a little while. But you can't 
just run around in a soaking diaper"
	John breathed a sigh of relief. They finished their meal and 
headed for the mall.
	As they walked through the parking lot Karen explained to 
John that she was going to pick up a few things.
	"Now honey I want you to stay with me for a while, I'll need 
you to try on a few things." John wasn't really interested in 
going to the arcade in his diapers. So he was happy to stay with 
his mommy.
	Once inside Karen made a run by the baby department. She 
realized she would need diaper bag eventually. John was horrified, 
but he knew he couldn't protest out loud or people would know who 
the bag was meant for.
	"I'm sorry hon, but I need to be able to carry things. I 
don't have room for it all in my purse. I'll just buy one that no 
one would notice." And she did finally choose a plain blue one. 
She didn't want her little boy to be embarrassed. But she was 
proud of what a good mommy she was. In a way she hoped that other 
mommies would recognize the bag for what it was. She knew any 
mommy would understand.
	She looked over a display of cribs there was a particularly 
large one sale. She could almost see John sleeping in it in a 
little sleeper. But she quickly tried to put the image out of her 
mind. "He doesn't need that," she told herself. "He's not really a 
baby." But she also realized that only a few days ago she would 
have thought the same thing about diapers. She made up her mind to 
pick up a catalogue of baby items just in case.
	John tried to ignore the sea of baby items he found himself 
in. Somehow the world seemed bigger than it had before. Here he 
was a little boy in a diaper in a great big store. He saw his 
mommy looking at a crib that could have held him if things somehow 
came to that. He followed along behind her taking in the bigness 
of it all.
	Then he felt a trickle, he was once again wetting his diaper 
and was barely aware of it. He could feel the wetness spread to 
the edges of his diaper and then felt a trickle down his leg. In 
horror he looked down and saw that the diaper had developed a very 
visible leak.
	He tapped his mother on her back to get her attention. They 
had to walk all the way across the store to get to a restroom. 
Luckily the store was nearly empty and John was reasonably sure no 
one saw him and his leaky diaper.
	There was a couch in this restroom which Karen instructed her 
wet little child to lie on. She quickly got him out of his soaked 
pants and had him powdered and in a fresh diaper in record time. 
"I'll have to put these new pants I got on you," She explained as 
she pulled them up to his waist and buttoned them.
	They left the restroom without anyone having seen what 
happened and went to pay for their purchases. "I need to pay for 
the pair of pants my son is wearing," She explained to the clerk. 
She leaned over the counter and whispered "He had a little 
accident in the store and I needed to get him into something dry."
	"Oh, I understand," said the clerk and she gave John the 
friendly little smile one gives small children. John wasn't as 
embarrassed by this as he would have expected. He actually kind 
thought that if he was just diaper boy with his mommy then maybe 
he didn't have to worry so much about being cool. He found himself 
smiling back at her.

Part 8

	"I have just one more thing to get. I think I know where to 
find it," Karen said as she slung John's newly purchased diaper 
bag over her shoulder. She led John over to another store and to a 
display of car seats. "They say that kids under 80 pounds should 
sit in a booster seat," she explained.
	There were dozens of models to choose from. One in particular 
caught her eye. It was high-backed and had it's own belt, it was 
almost indistinguishable from a car seat one would put a toddler 
in. A clerk noticed her browsing and came over.
	"That seat you're looking at is usually considered the 
safest," he said. "Most of the booster seats just raise the child 
high enough to make an adult seatbelt fit. But that's not always 
the best solution; you can adjust these straps to fit your child."
	Karen was convinced. She'd known it would it would be the 
best from the moment she laid eyes on it. She paid for it and they 
made their way back to the car. John was a bit stunned by the 
whole incident. He knew was small for his age, but he never 
dreamed that he'd be required to be treated like a little kid 
because of it. But he heard his diaper crinkle underneath his 
clothes and decided he had little room to protest.
	Karen installed the seat and told John to climb into it so he 
could be buckled in. Once he was seated she reached in and brought 
the straps down across his body and fasten the buckle into it's 
place between his legs she made some adjustments and when she was 
satisfied that he was secure she patted him on the head. "Thanks 
for being so understanding about this honey."
	In all of these past few days John had never felt quite as 
babyish as he did while he rode in the back of his mommy's car in 
his car seat. But he'd never felt so safe, either. He recognized a 
desire to be babied. He liked the attention he was getting, and he 
enjoyed the bonding. Whatever resistance he had left to it 
diminished every time his mommy would lovingly remove one of his 
cold wet diapers and put him in a nice fresh one.
	Once they were back home Karen thought that John might need a 
nap. "Baby, you've had a pretty long day I think you should have a 
little nap." John did feel a little tired so he agreed and 
followed his mommy to his room.
	"Now, do you need a change before I put you down for your 
nap?" Karen asked. John shook his head. "OK then, I think I'll let 
you just sleep in your diaper then." She stripped him down to his 
diaper and put her finger in his leg band to make sure they were 
dry. Satisfied that he didn't need a change she pulled back the 
covers of his bed.
	"I'll be up to get you in an hour or so." She said as she 
patted his bottom. John climbed underneath the covers and she 
kissed him on the forehead.
	"Just try rest, baby." She said as she closed the door.
	Karen headed downstairs and put John's soaked pants in the 
wash. Then she heard the doorbell ring. When she answered it she 
saw Prof. Moullier at the door. "Oh what a pleasant surprise, 
please come in," she said.
	"You were just so kind to me a few days ago that I thought 
I'd bring a few things by. I hope I'm not interrupting anything," 
Said Prof. Moullier.
	The two of then talked a bit and Prof. Moulier asked how John 
was doing.
	"Well," answered Karen "It's the strangest thing, he just 
started wetting the bed. I took him to the doctor and he had no 
idea what was causing it. Then he started wetting during the day, 
too. I have him in diapers all the time now."
	"That sounds like quite a bit of extra work."
	"It is, but I've kind of been enjoying it. I think he needs a 
little babying. He even started calling me 'mommy' again. And 
every night I get to get him all ready for bed and tuck him in. I 
never thought I'd be able to do this again."
	"Ah, I can see you're a good mother. I had a feeling that 
might be the case. In fact I got something for John based on what 
you told me the other day." She got a teddy-bear out of her purse. 
"I'm probably just a silly old lady but I thought..."
	"He used to have one just like that. It got lost years ago. 
I'm sure he'll love it."
	Prof. Moullier explained she had somewhere else to be and 
Karen saw her out the door and thanked her for the visit and the 
teddy-bear. Then she went upstairs to get John up from his nap.
	"You can get up now, honey. Did you have a good rest?"
	"Yes, mommy."
	"Good. You're probably wet by now." She pulled down the sheet 
and check his diaper. "Yep, let's get you into a nice dry one." 
She got a new diaper and some powder. "I just talked with that 
nice lady who just moved in. She dropped off a gift for you, it's 
just a little something. But it's downstairs."
	"It's not too cold today, would like just wear your diaper 
until bedtime?"
	John thought about it for a second and decided there was no 
reason not to. He just nodded as his mommy taped his diaper in 
place.
	"And how about some milk and cookies?"
	"Yes, please, mommy."
	John followed back down stairs. In the living room he saw the 
teddy-bear waiting for him. He knew immediately that this was just 
like the teddy-bear he used to have. He remembered having it with 
him all the time. Until he had to go to school anyway. After a 
while he forgot about it and it was lost.
	Karen walked into the living room with a plate of cookies and 
a mug of milk. She saw her son looking at the bear sitting on the 
coffee table. "It's OK if you want to hold a teddy-bear honey." 
She said.
	John grinned and tucked his teddy beneath his arms and sat 
down to enjoy his milk and cookies and watch TV. Karen sat down to 
fold some laundry. She watched her little boy sit in his diaper 
watching cartoons and enjoying milk and cookies while he cuddled 
his new teddy. All he needed was a little babying and he was ready 
to give up all his pretensions of being grown up. She knew she'd 
done the right thing by putting him back in diapers.
	By 9:00 she could tell he was getting tired in spite of his 
nap. "OK, it's just about bedtime. Let's get you ready."
	"But I took a nap today. Can't I stay up later?"
	"I can tell you're tired. Besides I think would be a good 
idea if had a nap and an early bedtime for a while."
	John knew better than argue with mommy, so he went up to the 
bathroom with her to get his bath.
	Karen started giving John his bath.
	"So, do you like your new teddy?" she asked.
	"Yeah."
	"That was awfully nice of her to do that."
	She finished and got him out of the tub and dried him off. 
Then she took him to his bedroom to diaper and dress him.
	"I got you some new PJs while we were out," she said as she 
held up a footed sleeper. It was powder blue with bunnies all over 
it. "Do you want to try these out tonight?"
	John looked at the very babyish PJs that his mommy wanted to 
put him in. He actually thought they looked comfy. "OK mommy" he 
said.
	Karen slipped his legs and arms into the new sleeper and 
zipped it up in back. "You look adorable."
	John smiled. It was soft and warm, and he liked that his 
mommy thought he was cute in it.
	Karen sat down in the rocker with a storybook. John grabbed 
his teddy and she lifted him into her lap. As he sat cuddling in 
his mommy's lap listening to her read him a story he looked at his 
teddy. It brought out dim, far away memories of when he'd been a 
real baby. He'd always sort of missed being little. And he was 
really enjoying being a baby again. But for some reason he 
wouldn't allow himself to truly relax and enjoy it. But as he 
looked at his bear he knew that this was all meant to be. He was 
finally able to relax and simply be his mommy's baby. He started 
to slip off into his sleep. But before he fell asleep, without 
really thinking about it, he put his thumb in his mouth. Before 
the story was finished he was soundly asleep.

Part 9

	Karen sat and watched her son sleep soundlessly as he sucked 
his thumb. This scene had played itself out many times years ago. 
After he had a nice warm bath and got put in a clean pair of PJs 
john had always fell easily to sleep, always with a thumb, or a 
pacifier, or a bottle in his mouth.
	He'd never really been too different from that little baby, 
she thought. He'd always needed her to take care of him in some 
ways. He needed her to drive him places, and depended on her to do 
so safely. He could certainly never get ready in the morning 
without prodding and occasional assistance. The helpless baby was 
never too far beneath the surface.
	Which may have been why they both fell back into this routine 
so easily. So this return to thumbsucking shouldn't have been such 
a surprise at all. As sweet as it was, she worried a bit about it. 
When he was little she insisted that he use a pacifier. She 
wondered if she'd have to insist on it again. But she didn't worry 
for long. She pick up her little boy and put him in his bed. She 
covered him with his sheets and kissed his forehead. Before 
turning out the light she tucked his teddy in beside him. Half-
aware of what was going on, he hugged his bear and fell back 
sleep.
	John came drowsily awake. He stretched his legs and felt the 
legs of his PJs stretch along with him. He was reminded of the 
sleeper he was wearing. He rolled over and cuddled his bear and 
simply took in the coziness of it all. He could smell his mommy's 
morning coffee, and through the crisp morning silence he could 
hear her stirring milk and sugar into her first cup. He knew she 
would soon be up to change his diaper and get him ready for the 
day.
	He closed his eyes and felt totally relaxed. It was beginning 
to dawn on him that for at least a while he'd be spared the 
travails of adolescence. He had never had the burning desire his 
friends had to end his childhood. It was fine with him, he 
preferred it, in fact, if he could just settle down for a while 
and be little. Not necessarily forever, just for now.
	Eventually his door opened on his mommy stepped in. "Are you 
awake honey?"
	"Yes."
	"Well let's get you changed then."
	She pulled down his covers as John rolled back over. She 
began unsnapping his sleeper between his legs. John wondered where 
she had gotten these clothes, he'd been with her all day at the 
store and hadn't seen them. But he decided it was nothing to worry 
about. "This will make it much easier to change you in the 
mornings," she said as she began to untape his soggy diaper. She 
reached into the bag of Pampers which had taken a place on John's 
dresser.
	"Wow, you've really been going through diapers. I'm going to 
have to get some more soon." She slid the new diaper under his 
powdered behind and taped it in place.
	"I'm going to leave you in your PJs for a little while. Now 
let's go downstairs and get some breakfast."
	John stepped into the kitchen, instead of the cold tile he 
was accustomed to he felt the footed bottom of his warm sleeper. 
He sat at the table and his mommy poured him cereal and a glass of 
milk.
	Karen sat down with her paper and cup of coffee. She could 
smell the fresh scent of baby powder and hear her son's diaper 
rustle. She knew he'd need another change, or maybe a cuddle 
sometime soon. And she nothing made her happier than taking care 
of her baby the way she thought he needed to be cared for. She 
hadn't been ready to raise a teenager and she was happy to take 
this little pause.
	After breakfast John went into the living room and turned on 
the TV. His mom poked her head into the living room "Be good and 
stay put, I'm going to take a shower. I'll be back to get you 
ready in a minute."
	When she returned she took John's hand and led him up to his 
room. She unzipped his sleeper and pulled it off him briefly 
pausing to check him for wetness. She got his clothes pulled his 
pants into place, put on his shirt and buttoned it. Then she took 
him into the bathroom and sat him down on the toilet. "Let's see 
if we can make your hair look a little better." She picked up a 
comb and combed his hair into a nice boy's style. There was no 
flair at the front of his head, His hair was evenly combed with a 
neat part down the middle. She stood back to admire her work and 
smiled, it made her already youthful looking boy look several 
years younger. "Cute." She said and let John go back downstairs to 
his cartoons.
	She gave him a playful slap on his butt as he ran past her 
and watched him toddle back down the stairs. He was getting cuter 
everyday she thought. But still she thought she ought to take him 
to see the pediatrician once more. Reluctantly, she made another 
call and arranged an appointment.