From: dpr221@aol.com (DPR221)
Subject: Diaper Experiences - 1
Date: 17 Sep 1995 13:01:28 -0400

DIAPER EXPERIENCES - 1

Well it's time for me to de-lurk.  I've been reading asfd for a little
over a month now and have enjoyed many of the stories and true
experiences.  I am a 34 year old white/married/male and have had diaper
desires ever since I can remember, even before I was aware of sex etc... 
My wife doesn't know of my diaper desires, but I plan on sharing them with
her.  We joke about how it would be nice not to have to get up out of bed
to pee.  So maybe I'll pursue that line with some night diapers for her,
I'm not in a hurry, nor do I need my diapers a lot.  My wife and I have a
happy regular sex life (what's regular?) and my diapers are mostly just a
"secret hobby".  asfd has made me feel more accepting of my "secret
hobby".  I new that other people had my hobby but this news group was a
pleasant surprise.  Well, enough background.

THE COVER MY ASS PARAGRAPH

I am a non-fiction kind of guy and would like to share real life
experiences of our diaper adventures.  These stories that I'll write are
true stories about myself (I've never shared these thoughts with anyone
else) and are meant for consenting adults who wish to accept, understand
and share their diaper delights with others.  I am a monogamous
heterosexual and wish only to have sexual relations with my wife.

Early Memories   

My first memories of diapers was when I was 3.  I was in my crib for a nap
and remember standing up in my crib bearing down and loading my diapers
with poop and pee.

As I grew up I remember being envious of my younger brothers and cousins
as they were being diapered.  I especially remember wishing I could wear
the big fat "double diapers" and rubber pants to bed at night.  I did not
resort to wetting the bed to achieve my desires.  I do remember stuffing
blankets in my pajamas to get the feeling or effect.  

The first time I wore a diaper after I was toilet trained was during one
of the times my younger brother (by one year) was being diaper punished
for wetting his pants, bed, what ever. He did this until he was 10 or so
on & off , but was only diaper punished at around 5 or 6.  He never wet
the diapers but had to wear them in front of the family for embarrassment.
 Anyway, one morning (I must have been 5) I woke up early and saw his
diapers and safety pins on the floor of the bedroom.  It was early and he
was still asleep so I sneaked out of bed and pinned the diapers on myself 
(unfortunately :(  there were no rubber pants available) and hopped back
in bed to enjoy the feeling.

The next time I got to wear diapers I got to wear the rubber pants too.  I
must have been 7 and my other younger brother was 3.  I was charged with
bathing him.  I would take his diapers off if there was no poop, if there
was poop I'd call my mom.  This time he was very dry, so... I decided to
try his diapers for myself.  The bathroom my brothers and I used was on
the third floor and everyone else was down stairs cleaning up after
dinner.  I put my brother in the tub and laid the diapers out for myself
in the next room.  I knew I would be able to hear anyone coming up the
stairs and I'd be able to take the diapers off real fast.  It was very
quiet so I laid down on the diapers and began to pin them on myself.  The
diaper cloth was very soft between my legs and the pins just barely had
enough cloth to work.  I was very excited and I think I had a boner (I
didn't think much about my erections back then).  The best part was yet to
come.  I ran my hands over the diaper and became more excited with the
anticipation of pulling the rubber pants up my legs and over the diapers. 
It was a tight fit but it felt so good, like a dream come true.  I stood
up and walked around touching the rubber pants and diapers between my
legs.  I liked the bulk of cloth and rubber between my legs.  I hopped in
bed to savor the sensations for a moment.  Then finally I realized I had
to pee so I stood up and let go.  I remember feeling my hot pee soak into
the diaper and down between my legs.  I realized then that I liked the
feeling of using the diapers as much as thinking about and wearing them. 
At that point I decided not to push my luck any more and took the diapers
off and got in the bath.  It would be quite a while until I would get to
wear real diapers and rubber pants again.

Diaper Experiences - 2

Let's see we left off last time where I was small enough to try on and pee
my little brother's diapers and rubber pants while he was in the bath tub
(I think I was 7yrs.).  It would be a few years before I would have
another more real diaper experience.  Every now and I would put on 4 or 5
pairs of my jockey under shorts to get that thick diaper feeling.  I think
I was aware of erections but not yet masturbating.

As luck would have it a relative dropped off a large box of old diapers
for rags.  These diapers had been for an adult and were just the right
size to fold in thirds just like a real baby diaper.  I was about 13 years
old and rubber pants were not available.  I was quite happy to have access
to the "rag box" in our basement.  I had to use my imagination for some
rubber pants.  Hhhmmm....?  Then it hit me, white kitchen trash bags and
some white tape.  It only took a little looking around in the house before
I found some old diaper pins.

I was very excited and tried my diapers on a few times before I actually
had the privacy to use them.  Then one day I was alone in the house and
happened to have the urge to poop!  I sprung into action assembling the
diaper supplies complete with baby powder and some clean up supplies, in
case somebody got home unexpectedly.  I was sure I had the house for at
least two hours.  I listened very carefully for the sound of arriving
family members.

I took my bag of diaper supplies up to my room and laid them out on the
bed.  By this time I had a pubescent hard on like you would not believe;
although, I did not yet know how to release the sexual tension inside
myself.  I had regular wet dreams - cumming in my PJ's to dreams of naked
girls etc..., but I also had wet dreams that involved diaper wearing too. 
This might be one of the roots of my diaper desires.  The dream would
usually start with the wish to have diapers on, a search for diapers (in
the house, drug store, etc..) and then the finding of diapers.  I would
usually cum just as I was putting on the diaper or shortly there after;
hence my desire to cum in my diapers.  I always remember it feeling very
pleasurable, warm, and secure.  With dreams like that, who wouldn't want
to try diapers out?

In my daydreams about diapers I always think about the nice warm feeling
and convenience of peeing and pooping in my diapers.  As a young boy I was
particularly envious of toddlers who were aware that they were loading
their diapers, especially as they sat in a chair, red faced, struggling to
empty their bowels.  Also of interest to me was the toddler who would stop
in the middle of a room and announce he was pooping and proceed to do the
deed in a room full of doting adults.  

This day I wanted to experience (for the first time since I was 3) the
feeling of sitting as I pooped my diapers.  I laid back and pinned my
diapers on (a nice thick double night diaper), not forgetting an ample
sprinkling of baby powder.  I had to fold a generous amount of the diaper
cloth over my erection so that when I went pee pee it wouldn't spurt out
of the confines of the diaper.  I taped the white kitchen sized plastic
bag on myself with the white utility tape.  These diapers were not going
to leak, I was proud of the realistic look and feeling I had accomplished;
however, deep down inside I longed for the day when I would find some
plastic pants like I wore as a toddler.

I waddled around the house in socks and a white T-shirt admiring and
turning myself on as I looked in the various mirrors around the house.  I
liked to feel the thick security of the diaper and plastic with my hands. 
I think I was so turned on that my penis quivered and spurted some
pre-ejaculate but I was unaware of how to bring my self to climax (this
would take a year or two to learn).  My main concern at this point was the
ever present pressure on my anus.  I really had a hard log of poop waiting
to come out.  I decided it was time to use my diapers.

I went up to my room making sure my clean up supplies were stashed in the
bathroom for quick use, in case someone came home.  I went over to the
chair in my room and sat down.  I relaxed my anal sphincter and began to
push a little bit.  The first thing I felt was the warm stream of pee in
the front of my diapers.  The poop was not coming out!  I pushed harder
and harder (no wonder those babies make such a big deal about pooping in
their high-chairs).  The poop only came out through my but cheeks and
pushed against the confines of the diaper and chair, I could not load my
diapers sitting down, the poop was too hard and it hurt too!  Well, I
really wanted to poop so I decided to stand up and try.  Peeing was easy
and my diaper was quite wet and warm.  By this time my penis was feeling
enjoyably strange.  I stood up and proceeded to bear down and load my
diapers with poop.  The shaft of shit flowed out of my rectum quite
easily, warming the cheeks of my butt as I made the effort to move my
bowels.  More pee flowed and created a feeling that took me back to my
younger years.  I also noticed the smell of a poopy diaper!

With my diapers now full I got into bed to enjoy the fruits of my labor. 
The first thing I did was sit on my poopy buns.  I was sure that to poop
would not squish out because it was a hard long warm log that just
flattened out a bit as I sat (as I found out later these are the easiest
types of messes to clean up after).  I felt the full wet diaper with my
hand as I lay down.  My penis twitched and I felt a strange and exciting
lump in my throat.  I laid on my tummy and drifted into a blissful daze as
I hugged my teddy bear.  I snapped out of it in a couple minutes realizing
that family members would soon be home.

I went into the bathroom, locked the door, and reluctantly changed myself
and washed my diaper area with a nice warm soapy wash cloth.  I rinsed out
my poopy diaper and put it in a plastic bag to be disposed of (there were
plenty more where that came from).  I aired my room out, stashed my other
diaper stuff and dropped my dirty diapers in a dumpster behind a store on
my way out to play.

I enjoyed these early diaper experiences, but often felt strange, guilty,
and like I was the only one who had such babyish desires.  I was always
very careful as not to get caught.  In the early seventies when I first
started to indulge in my fantasies I felt that getting caught would have
the worst and most embarrassing consequences; yet I persevered.

I think other asfd subscribers, as well as myself, would benefit from and
enjoy hearing about other childhood diaper experiences and early thoughts
that led us to where we are today.

Please let me know how you feel by posting your thoughts and stories to
our asfd news group.  We would enjoy hearing from other AB's out there.