From: 
Date: Tue,  9 Apr 1996 05:28:19 UTC
Subject: ~Story: "A Story for Tony" Part 1 of 4


A Story for Tony
        by Jennifer Loraine     
Part One of Four

Tony's mind was drifting. Utter boredom had overcome him and rather than 
fall asleep, he was daydreaming about being rich while sucking on his 
pencil's eraser. The idea of sitting in a limousine, with a cigar in his 
mouth, and being transported from place to place in soft luxury appealed to 
him. He pictured himself having people who would rush to attend his every 
need without delay. His fantasy was extremely detailed in the daily affairs 
of the life he would lead; he'd have a valet to dress him, a maid to clean 
up after him, a chauffeur to drive him around, and a cook to make his meals 
and stand at his side while he ate. Maybe he'd hire one of those asian 
bathgirls he'd read about in the girlie magazines he had hidden in his 
bedroom closet. He imagined himself sitting in a bath while the girl 
lovingly scrubbed every inch of his body. "It must be nice to be rich and 
have your whims appeased on demand," he sighed.
He was sitting in class listening to the eighth grade English teacher drone 
on about the symbolism in Hemingway's "Old Man and the Sea" when the 
lecture was interrupted by a knock on the door. A teenaged office aid 
whispered in the teacher's ear and Tony was told to accompany the aid to 
see the Principal. He remembered the trepidation he felt while walking down 
the familiar halls to the office. Why had the Principal taken him out of 
class and sent for him? He had never been in trouble before. What had he 
done? He had never even been in a Principal's office.
        The aid had ushered him into the waiting area of the office and told him
to take a seat. The secretary asked his name and had frowned hesitantly 
when he told her who he was. What was going on here? She told him that the 
Principal was on the phone and would be with him in a few minutes.  He sat 
quietly on the hard, institutional chair as he considered the possible r  
easons for the secretary's expression. Something was wrong, he was sure of 
that. The office people chatted happily as they worked, occasionally giving 
him long sidewise glances and turning their heads quickly when he caught 
them looking at him.
Finally the door opened and there stood the Principal motioning for him to 
come inside. The office became deathly silent as Tony stood up and walked 
into the Principal's office. His knees shook as he sat down in the chair 
offered to him. He smiled nervously at the Principal and he began to feel 
nauseous. His stomach felt as if it was falling away from him. Tony's mouth 
was dry and his hands trembled in his lap. He thought he was going to throw 
up. He stared fixedly at the Principal as the imposing man began to speak, 
"Tony, your parents were in an automobile accident this morning. I'm sorry 
to have to be the one to have to tell you this, but your parents are dead. 
Their car was hit by another car at an intersection about eight-thirty this 
morning. I want you to know that they didn't suffer or feel any pain; they 
were killed instantly. Your next door neighbor is coming to take you home 
with her. I was just on the phone with her and she said she'd be here in a 
few minutes. You'll be staying with her for the next few days. Your 
neighbor tells me that you haven't any relatives nearby, is that true?"
        Tony nodded numbly in assent. He was in shock. Of all the reasons that
had 
occurred to him for being called in to the Principal's office, this was the 
last he would have ever considered.
        The Principal continued, "You are excused from school for the time
being. 
Your neighbor tells me that you have an aunt in another state. Is that 
true?"
        Tony said 'yes' in a hollow voice.
        "Is she well off financially? Do you think she'll be able to take you
in?"
        Tony looked aghast at the idea of living with his aunt. He was at a loss
at what to say. The Principal saw his consternation and said, "That's all 
right, son. I'm sure everything will work itself out for you. You can leave 
your books in my office. I'll see that everything is taken care of here at 
school. What is your locker number?"
        "C-129," the stricken boy answered slowly.
        The Principal made a note of the number on a pad on his desk as his 
telephone began to ring. He picked up the phone in the other hand and said 
into the mouthpiece, "Principal Hawkins.......Yes, we're just finishing up, 
thank you."
        The Principal walked over to Tony and said, "Tony, your neighbor, Mrs. 
Feldman, is here to take you home. You can leave your books on the chair."
        Tony got up leaving his books and papers sitting on the chair in his 
place. When he left the office he saw that Mrs. Feldman was sitting in the 
reception area with her baby boy, Jay-Jay, sitting on her lap. As Tony 
approached her, he noticed that her eyes were red and puffy as if she had 
been crying. Tony wondered what was wrong with him; his parents were dead 
and he hadn't shed a tear for them. Didn't he love them? Why couldn't he 
cry? How could he be so unfeeling?
        Mrs. Feldman got up when she saw Tony and rushed over to him. "Tony,"
she 
said, "I'm so sorry about your Mother and Father. How are you feeling? Are 
you okay?"
        "I'm okay I guess," he said, "it's just that....."
        Mrs. Feldman cut him off by saying, "I know, Tony. I know....Have you
had 
lunch yet?"
        Tony shook his head 'no'.
        Mrs. Feldman said briskly, "Come on. Let's get you home and get you 
something to eat."
        She held out her hand for him to hold as if he was a little boy needing 
guidance. Tony accepted it reluctantly; he didn't want to be rude to Mrs. 
Feldman, but it was embarrassing to be treated like a toddler in front of 
all his classmates. They went to her car and Tony stared out of the side 
window as they drove away from his school. He wondered what was going to 
happen to him now. His whole life had changed in the blink of an eye. Would 
they make him go live with his aunt? If they did, he wouldn't have any 
friends where she lived. What would happen in school? There was a month 
left to this school year, would they make him repeat the entire year 
because he missed part of the month? Tony watched the houses of the 
neighborhood stream by his window as he sat morosely in the front seat. He 
had never felt so alone and defenseless in his life. He felt as if he had 
become a passenger in his body. All he could do is sit and distantly watch 
the adults make decisions. He had no idea which direction his life would 
take or even where he'd be in the future.
        When they got to Mrs. Feldman's house, Tony helped her carry her son's 
diaper bag inside. He had been Mrs. Feldman's 'unofficial' baby-sitter for 
almost a year and didn't feel uncomfortable helping her with the baby. The 
dearth of teenagers his age on the street had led to Mrs. Feldman asking 
him to watch her baby for a few minutes on a Saturday soon after the baby 
was born and his reliability had led to Mrs. Feldman asking him to watch 
her son again. Her growing confidence in his trustworthiness had caused her 
to ask him to baby-sit several times more. She had been engaging him to 
baby-sit her son on a more frequent basis as the baby had gotten older. 
Tony didn't particularly like changing 'dirty' diapers, but he accepted his 
fate with a reasonably cheerful attitude. He didn't seem to have any 
problems taking care of the baby and Mrs. Feldman's son loved Tony. Mrs. 
Feldman unbuckled her son from the infant carrier on the rear seat, picked 
up his diaper bag from the floor behind the passenger seat and handed it to 
Tony, then went to the front door of her house with Tony trailing behind. 
They went inside and Mrs. Feldman placed her son into his playpen while she 
went to prepare lunch. "Would you watch Jay-Jay for me while I get lunch 
for us, Tony?", she asked with a smile.
        Tony agreed and sat on the sofa ruminating over what would happen to him
now that his parents were gone. The house would be awfully lonely with just 
him staying there. Maybe he should go live with his aunt. But then he'd 
have to leave all of his friends. He wasn't even sure were she lived or how 
to get in touch with her. Maybe the phone number was in his father's desk 
in the den. What about his things? How was he going to move them to his 
aunt's? He didn't have a car or a license. He didn't have any money to hire 
movers. He wondered if they'd let him use the money from his parent's 
savings account. Jay-Jay started crying and Tony bent over the playpen with 
a sigh. He put a pair of fingers down the front of Jay-Jay diaper the way 
Mrs. Feldman had taught him and checked to see if was wet. "Yep, he's wet," 
he told himself as he reached for the baby's diaper bag. Jay-Jay quieted 
immediately when Tony removed the diaper and swabbed him off with a baby 
wipe. Tony had just finished rediapering Jay-Jay when Mrs. Feldman walked 
into the room. "I thought I heard Jay-Jay crying. Thanks for taking care of 
that for me Tony. Lunch is ready. It's on the table in the kitchen."
        She bent over the playpen, picked up Jay-Jay and carried him into the 
kitchen. Tony followed and saw that lunch had been set out on the table. A 
large steaming bowl of soup flanked by four diagonally-cut sandwich halves 
sat across from Mrs. Feldman's accustomed place at the table in the 
breakfast nook. Mrs. Feldman put Jay-Jay in the high chair next to her and 
sat down at the table while Tony unfolded his napkin. "You're in luck 
today, Tony. I just finished making a large pot of chicken soup last night 
for lunches this week. If you need any more milk there's plenty in the 
refrigerator. We have apple pie for dessert."
        Tony looked at the plate of food in front of him in askance. He didn't 
want to insult Mrs. Feldman's cooking, but he knew he couldn't finish all 
the food on the plate in front of him. He though that if he had a taste of 
soup and one of the sandwiches she would be satisfied. The apple pie was  
 out of the question though. He started in on the soup and was surprised at 
how good it tasted. All of a sudden he was famished. He gobbled the cheese 
sandwiches in passing as the level of soup dropped rapidly to the bottom of 
the bowl. He heard Mrs. Feldman moving her chair and when he looked up, he 
saw her passing a plate of hot apple pie a la mode to him. He accepted the 
dessert and within minutes, the pie was a pleasant memory. Tony wiped his 
lips on his napkin and thanked Mrs. Feldman politely for lunch as she 
finished her bowl of soup. When she finished, she dabbed her lips with her 
napkin delicately and said, "Tony, we need to talk. I know it's too soon 
for you to have thought about what's going to happen to you, but I don't 
want you to worry. Everything will be taken care of. Your mother was my 
best friend and left instructions for me in case of an emergency. You are 
going to live with us. I've already called my husband and he contacted your 
aunt an hour ago. He called me back just before I left to pick you up from 
school. We thought it would be best if we talked to her before I took you 
home from school. She said she'd would like to take you, but that she's 
been transferred to another duty station in the Far East. I bet you didn't 
know your aunt was in the Air Force! She told Jacob that there aren't any 
facilities for dependents where she is going and asked if you could live 
with us. Jacob agreed with her that it would be best if you stayed with us. 
Would that be okay with you?"
        Tony nodded in assent and sighed internally, at least he wouldn't have
to 
repeat a year of school. He told Mrs. Feldman, "Mr. Hawkins, the school 
principal, thinks I'm going to be moving to another state. Could you tell 
him I'm not going to be leaving school?"
        Mrs. Feldman smiled and said, "I'll take care of it after lunch. After I
call, we'll get you moved into the room at the end of the hall."
        "Moved in?!", Tony said with an expression of surprised dismay. "Why
can't 
I just stay in my old room back at my house?"
        Mrs. Feldman put her hand on his arm and said gently, "Tony, the house 
will have to be sold. Don't worry, there's plenty of room for your things 
here.  You won't have to get rid of anything, I promise."
        "Sold? What do you mean the house will have to be sold? That's my
house!", 
he cried.
        Mrs. Feldman gripped his arm in her hand and said, "Tony, running a
house 
takes time and money. With your parents gone, someone will have to pay for 
the upkeep of the house. There are also property taxes that have to be 
paid. Mr. Feldman and I can't afford to take care of two houses. The house 
will have to be sold, don't you see?"
        Tony said he understood with an air of depression and the rest of the
meal 
was finished in silence. Mrs. Feldman called the Principal and told him 
that Tony would be staying with them instead of moving in with his aunt. 
The Principal told her that he was pleased that Tony would be staying at 
his school and that he would tell the attendance secretary not to expect 
Tony back in school for the next two weeks. He wanted Tony to have some 
time to adjust to his parent's death before he had to worry about 
schoolwork again. After lunch Mrs. Feldman, Tony and Jay-Jay went to his 
house and gathered up a box of Tony's things along with his pillow, bedding 
and a change of clothes. She told him they would come back tomorrow and get 
the rest of his possessions, but she wanted him to be comfortable in his 
new bedroom that night. They took it back to her house where they ensconced 
Tony in the spare bedroom. Mrs. Feldman helped Tony put up his posters on 
the wall and make the bed. When they were finished she told him it was time 
for a nap. Tony quailed at the thought of taking a nap in the middle of the 
day saying, "A nap? I don't need to take a nap! Afternoon naps are for 
babies! I haven't taken an afternoon nap since I was a little kid."
        Mrs. Feldman smiled and told him firmly, "Tony, I don't think you've 
realized what a terrible emotional shock you've just experienced. I know 
you're not used to taking an afternoon nap, but I think you need some rest. 
I'd like you to change into your pjs, then lie down and rest.  You don't 
have to sleep if you don't want to, but I'd like you  to at least lie down. 
As soon as I put Jay-Jay in his crib, I'm going to take a nap too. Here, 
let me close the curtains for you."
        Tony agreed reluctantly and Mrs. Feldman went to put Jay-Jay down for
his 
nap while Tony changed into his pjs. Tony got into bed, pulled the covers 
up around his shoulders and stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, 
thinking, "Is this what Mom and Dad would have wanted? How do I know that 
Mr. Feldman actually called my aunt? What if there's been some sort of 
mistake? What if Mom and Dad aren't really dead? What will they say when 
they get home? Dad will be mad at me when he finds out I'm not in school. 
I'm not going to take the blame myself. I'll tell him that's it's not my 
fault, I just did what I was told. Dad will understand that it isn't my 
fault." Tony closed his eyes and tried to visualize how his Dad would 
react. For some reason, he couldn't picture his Dad's face. He tried to 
relax thinking he was trying too hard and a few minutes later he was sound 
asleep.
End Part One of Four
Copyright (c) 1995 by Jennifer Loraine



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From: an369971@anon.penet.fi
Date: Tue,  9 Apr 1996 05:28:37 UTC
Subject: ~Story: "A Story for Tony" Part 2 of 4


A Story for Tony
        by Jennifer Loraine     
Part Two of Four

        She returned after getting Jay-Jay tucked in and discovered Tony snoring
softly. She smiled, bending over the bed to tuck the covers gently around 
Tony. "Poor Tony," she thought, "I'll have to remember to be extra nice to 
him. He's really a good boy. I never dreamed I'd be a mother of a teenager 
so soon, but I owe it to his mother to try. He's too young to be without a 
mother."  Yawning, she left the room to go take her own nap, closing the 
door quietly behind her.
        The next two weeks were a barely remembered blur for Tony. The funeral
was 
held and Tony saw his parents lying in open caskets in the chapel. He was 
shocked to see how pale they appeared. The mortician had rouged their 
cheeks to give them some color, but the attempt had only made them appear 
more lifeless. There was no question that his parents were dead in Tony's 
mind as he saw them. Tears welled up in his eyes as the minister read the 
service, but the tears refused to flow. They just filled the corners of his 
eyes and obscured his vision. He stood woodenly as he saw the minister 
close the lid of his father's coffin and hide the face of his father 
forever before doing the same to his mother's coffin. Mrs. Feldman put her 
arm around Tony's shoulders comfortingly and hugged him to her side while 
Mr. Feldman held Jay-Jay. They left the church and drove to the graveyard 
as the morning sky darkened with rain clouds. Tony stood at the graveside 
with the Feldman family as the minister read the final rites over the 
coffins of his parents. Tony agonized over his inability to cry for the his 
mother and father. The pain seemed to be more than he could contain, but he 
just stood there, stone faced, as the minister read the ritual of parting 
and it began to rain. It seemed to Tony that the heavens themselves were 
weeping for his loss. Everyone opened umbrellas as the rain changed from a 
gentle blessing into an angry storm. The deacon held an umbrella over the 
minister's head as the minister quickly finished the service. Mr. Feldman 
opened his umbrella and attempted to shelter Mrs. Feldman and Tony, but 
there wasn't enough room. Tony waved the umbrella away, relieving Mr. 
Feldman of the responsibility of protecting him from the shower. Rain 
coursed down Tony's face in a poor imitation of tears as the minister 
completed the service, ".....Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; 
in the sure and certain hope of the Resurrection unto eternal life." The 
minister closed his book of services with an air of finality and the small 
group of mourners ran for their cars.
        Tony walked to the Feldman's car heedless of the rain dripping off his 
head and running down his back. He barely noticed the thunder booming 
around him as he got into the car and Mr. Feldman drove home.
        When they got home, Mrs. Feldman made a hot lunch of soup and sandwiches
for them. Ruth fed the baby while Mr. Feldman and Tony ate, intending to 
eat her lunch after she fed the baby. Mr. Feldman went to work after lunch, 
leaving Tony and Jay-Jay to Mrs. Feldman's care. Ruth put Jay-Jay in his 
playpen and sat down to her meal as Tony sat silently and watched the rain 
rolling down the outside the window pane. Tony felt lost and alone. He knew 
Mrs. Feldman had promised to take care of him, but it wasn't the same as 
having a real mother. He wanted someone to hold him and tell him everything 
was going to be all right, that it was all a bad dream. He felt like 
curling up in a ball and shutting his eyes in defiance to the way the world 
had changed. He wanted to scream his anger at the top of his lungs. He knew 
it wasn't his parent's fault, but he felt like they had abandoned him. It 
wasn't fair. Why did they have to die now? He wasn't ready. Tony wanted to 
cry in rage and frustration.
Ruth watched Tony's expression covertly as she ate. It was obvious that his 
parent's death had affected him deeply. His anger and sorrow were written 
clearly on his face. Tony worried her. She had not seen him cry since his 
parent's death. Perhaps he had wept during the night, but she should have 
seen the marks of the tears on the pillow. She wanted to reach out to him 
and hold him, but his aloofness made her hesitate. He wasn't a little boy 
she could cuddle and comfort, but a teenage boy.  All she could do is be 
there when he needed her.
As the weeks passed, Tony adjusted to living in the new household. He got 
up, did his chores, and went to school without a word of complaint. But it 
was apparent to everyone he wasn't happy. Mr. Feldman settled the affairs 
of his friends' estate and cleaned out Tony's old house. They moved the 
furniture from Tony's old bedroom into his new bedroom in their house and 
sorted mementos to give Tony when he became older. After a hurried phone 
conference with Tony's aunt, the china and silver service, along with the 
bulk of the dead woman's jewelry were boxed in shipping cartons and sent to 
his aunt. An estate sale was held and the furnishings were auctioned. His 
parent's clothes were given to charity and the detritus of suburban life 
was put out for the garbage collectors. As executor of the estate, Mr. 
Feldman hired a small contractor to make repairs and repaint the house, 
then had a cleaning crew come in when the contractor was finished.
Tony watched the proceedings with dismay as his house was gradually emptied 
of personality. He went over and looked in the curtainless windows after 
the cleaning crew had finished and saw that the house had been stripped of 
everything that made it his. It was only a vacant building that had been 
his home in another existence. Tony felt like the house was like his life, 
just another empty shell where he had once lived.
Mr. Feldman had the house listed with a Realtor and signs were put on the 
lawn announcing to the world that the house was no longer a home, only a 
piece of property to be sold. Tony's mood fell deeper into depression as he 
saw the last vestige of his old life slip away from him.
The world went on with its business despite Tony's pain; school let out for 
the summer, large corporations continued to merge, causing stock prices to 
go up, making the Federal Reserve nervous. They raised the Prime Interest 
Rate steeply, which caused the mortgage rate to skyrocket. Buyers for 
Tony's old house vanished. It sat vacantly, waiting for the cost of money 
to be affordable again. Mr. Feldman's company was acquired in a complex 
stock transaction that caused him to be temporarily transferred to the home 
office of the parent company in Chicago for retraining. Mr. and Mrs. 
Feldman discussed his transfer and decided that Ruth would stay in their 
house with Jay-Jay and Tony while Mr. Feldman was in Chicago. Selling their 
house was out of the question with the housing market in the downturn it 
was in.  He would be  gone six months, with a possible two month extension. 
The good news was that he  would be promoted upon his return to division 
sales manager of his old company with perks and a raise to match his new 
position. He spent a week getting ready for the trip, giving Ruth a 
full-power-of-attorney so that she could deal with any emergencies that 
came up. On the day of his departure, he told Tony he was the man of the 
house now and he had every confidence that Tony would take care of his wife 
and son. He shook Tony's hand and kissed Jay-Jay before he embraced Ruth 
and told her goodbye.  He gave Ruth a final kiss and he walked to the 
waiting taxi with the last of his bags. Everyone waved goodbye at Mr. 
Feldman as the taxi drove away.
Tony awoke in the morning with the covers wrapped around him like a mummy. 
He rolled over to get out of bed and found himself lying in a cold spot in 
the bed. He put his hand down to feel the spot and discovered that it was 
wet. He had wet the bed! He jumped out of bed and pulled the covers back to 
see how big the spot was; it was huge! He looked down the front of his 
pajama's and saw that the crotch was soaked all the way to his thighs. The 
comforter had small wet spots in places too! How was he ever going to 
explain to Mrs. Feldman? He shucked his dripping pajamas and underwear and 
gathered up the damp bedclothes in a bundle and put it by the bedroom door. 
Then he changed into a pair of dry briefs and put on a pair of pants and 
shirt before taking the bundle down to the utility room to put in the wash. 
Mrs. Feldman was outside working in the garden as he passed through the 
kitchen with the dirty linen in his arms. "He's such a good boy," she 
thought as she saw him walk by the kitchen window with the bundle in his 
arms, "I've never had to tell him to clean up his room or put his laundry 
by the washer. When I was his age, my mother had to ask me for a week to 
bring her my laundry."
She bent over her plants and continued to hoe as Jay-Jay played happily in 
his playpen in the shade.  A half hour later she was surprised by a blast 
of hot air on the backs of her legs. She turned around to see where the air 
was coming from and was surprised to see that it was coming from the 
clothes dryer exhaust in the wall of the house. "What is Tony up to?", she 
told herself as she snatched Jay-Jay from his playpen and hurried into the 
house to check on the dryer. She expected Tony to take his dirty clothes 
into the utility room for her to wash, but she hadn't told him he could run 
her washer and dryer. The thought of the damage an unbalanced load could do 
to her washer horrified her. She had done it herself when she was young and 
her mother had never let her forget it. After putting a load in the washer, 
Ruth had sat in the family room and watched TV on a Saturday morning. Water 
had flooded the wash room unseen and unheard, nearly destroying the 
washroom. Her mother's washer had 'walked' itself away from the wall and 
had broken the hose fitting on the water pipe inlet. Ruth remembered the 
howls of anger her father made when he found out that the sheetrock would 
have to be replaced in the wall and ceiling behind the washer. He had been 
livid! He had wanted to take it out of her allowance and was only deterred 
by the pleadings of her mother that it was an accident. Ruth ran into the 
utility room and demanded breathlessly, "Tony, what's going on here? I 
didn't tell you you could run my washer! What are you doing?"
She pushed him brusquely out of the way to see what he had been loading in 
her washer and said, "Tony! You can't wash the comforter like this! Look at 
this! The load is unbalanced! Do you know what will happen if you try to 
run the washer like this? You'll break my new washer! I don't want you 
washing clothes in my washer until you've learned how to load it. Here, 
I'll show you."
Ruth sat Jay-Jay on the floor beside her feet and pulled the comforter from 
the washer. She was tucking it in around the agitator when she noticed a 
large wet spot on the fabric. "What...?", she said, bending over to smell 
the spot. She sniffed the damp fabric and frowned in recognition. "Tony," 
she said in puzzlement, "did you have an 'accident' in the bed?"
Tony stood shamefaced in front of her and shuffled his feet in 
embarrassment. "Yes, m..mam," he stuttered in a low voice.
Ruth opened the dryer door and peered at the clean, warm pajamas and 
underwear lying inside. "I see," she said. "Well, if this happens again, I 
want you to tell me. Is that clear? I don't want you to use the washer or 
dryer without my permission. Do you understand?"
Tony nodded his agreement and Ruth finished loading the washer. She turned 
to the dryer and removed the pjs and briefs then handed them to Tony 
saying, "Here dear, why don't you take these up to your room and put them 
in your dresser. I'll be up there to look at your mattress as soon as I 
finish this and get Jay-Jay in his crib. It's time for his nap now."
Ruth met Tony in his bedroom with a bowl of cold water, a sponge and a box 
of baking soda. When she saw the extent of the stain, she sighed and shook 
her head. She had expected a small puddle, nothing like this! Tony had 
managed to soak a quarter of the mattress.  She doused the stain with water 
and sponged it clean. Then she repeated the process. Tony stood by with an 
embarrassed look on his face as she went over the fabric, mopping the stain 
until it was a faded yellow in color. She handed the bowl to Tony and said, 
"Here Tony, dump this in the toilet and fill it again with cold water from 
the bathroom sink."
Tony took the bowl as she sprinkled baking soda on the mattress. Ruth 
continued shaking the box over the mattress until the surface of the stain 
was covered with a thin layer of white powder. Tony returned with the bowl 
of water and she began to scrub the baking soda into the fabric of the 
mattress with a wet sponge. When she finished, she took the bowl into the 
bathroom and rinsed it out, leaving it in the sink to put away later. She 
returned to Tony's bedroom and wiped her forehead, saying, "We're going to 
have to put this in the sun to dry. Otherwise you'll be sleeping on a wet 
mattress tonight. The sunshine will help bleach the stain out too. Tony, 
help me get the mattress off the bed and carry it outside. I don't think I 
can manage this mattress down the stairs alone."
They carried the mattress out to the backyard and laid it in a sunny spot 
on the grass. Ruth followed Tony into the house when the job was done and 
said, "Thanks for your help, Tony. I'd like to have a talk with you in the 
kitchen for a minute."
Tony followed her into the kitchen and sat on one of the chairs in the 
breakfast nook as Ruth got a glass of iced tea from the refrigerator. 
"Would you like something to drink, Tony? Some iced tea? A soda, maybe?", 
she said as she put her glass down on the table.
Tony shook his head 'no', the last thing he wanted right now was something 
to remind him of what he had done.
She sat down across the table from him and said, "Tony, Honey, are you 
feeling okay? Did you feel bad last night before you went to sleep?"
Tony shook his head 'no' uncomfortably.
She smiled and said, "Tony, I'm not mad at you for what happened. I know 
it's not your fault. But you can see how much trouble it is to clean the 
mattress after an accident. The longer the pee stays on the mattress, the 
more it will stain. I think we caught it in time this morning, but if it 
happens in the future, I want you to tell me immediately. Do you 
understand?"
Tony nodded his understanding and she smiled back in return.
The next morning was a repeat of the morning before. Tony woke to find 
himself lying in a puddle of pee. He hurriedly stripped the bed and 
dressed, then went down to find Mrs. Feldman. She came up to the room and 
surveyed the damage before cleaning the mattress again. When they had 
finished, Ruth went to the kitchen phone and called the family doctor to 
make an appointment for Tony. She explained that her adopted 
fourteen-year-old son had suddenly started wetting the bed for no apparent 
reason. The receptionist told her that a patient had canceled their 
appointment a few minutes ago and they could fit Tony in immediately if she 
could bring him in within the next hour. Ruth agreed and the appointment 
was made. Ruth told Tony to get ready to go to the doctor while she packed 
a diaper bag for Jay-Jay.
The doctor saw Tony privately. About an hour after Tony had gone into the 
examining room, the receptionist told Ruth the doctor would like to speak 
to her. Ruth passed Tony in the  hall as he went back to the waiting room. 
She told him she only expected to be a few minutes and to wait there for 
her. The doctor told Ruth that he couldn't find anything wrong with Tony 
organically, but that the boy seemed depressed to him. Ruth explained what 
had happened to his parents and the events of the past two mornings. The  
 doctor nodded sagely and told her that it was not uncommon in situation 
like this for young people to wet the bed. He asked her if Tony had any 
other changes in his behavior and she responded in the negative. The doctor 
assured her that his bedwetting, although mildly abnormal, was nothing to 
be concerned about for the moment. He suggested gently that she get a 
waterproof mattress protector for the bed and try to restrict Tony's fluid 
intake before bedtime. He also suggested she put an absorbent bedpad on the 
middle of the bed at waist height every night to help keep the bedclothes 
dry. If the bedwetting continued, he suggested that she might want to 
consider having Tony wear incontinent briefs to bed. He gave her the name 
and number of a child psychiatrist and told her that some counseling might 
help Tony deal with his grief. The doctor told her to call him if there 
were any changes in Tony's condition.
End Part Two of Four
Copyright (c) 1995 by Jennifer Loraine


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Subject: ~Story: "A Story for Tony" Part 3 of 4
From: an369971@anon.penet.fi
Date: Tue,  9 Apr 1996 05:29:44 UTC
Message-ID: <053345Z09041996@anon.penet.fi>


A Story for Tony
	by Jennifer Loraine
Part Three of Four

Ruth stopped at the pharmaceutical supply on the way home and left Tony in 
the car to take care of Jay-Jay while she went inside to buy a plastic 
mattress protector and some bedpads.  After they got home, Ruth called the 
child psychiatrist to make an appointment. She explained that she had been 
referred to the psychiatrist by her doctor. Ruth was surprised when the 
receptionist told her the doctor could see Tony that afternoon. She told 
the receptionist that she had never had such luck in getting early 
appointments with doctors. The receptionist replied that many of the 
doctor's patients were on vacation with their parents and the doctor's 
schedule was relatively free for the next two weeks. Ruth made a light 
lunch for them and took Tony to the psychiatrist later that afternoon. 
After filling out the forms, the doctor called them into his office for a 
preliminary chat before talking to Tony alone. Ruth explained what had 
happened to Tony's intense embarrassment and what her family physician had 
said. The doctor asked Ruth to leave the room while he talked to Tony in 
private. As before, Ruth waited about an hour before the psychiatrist 
called her in for a consultation. He told her that Tony  was extremely 
depressed over his parents' death and that he usually prescribed treatment 
with antidepressants in cases like this. He warned her that the drug would 
probably make Tony very drowsy at night and the bedwetting would probably 
continue until he became used to the drug. He agreed with what her family 
physician had told her about using a mattress protector and advised her to 
have him wear incontinent briefs to bed.  He also recommended that he see 
Tony once a week for the next three months to help him over his parents' 
deaths and adjust to his new life. Ruth agreed and told him she would make 
an appointment with his receptionist.  The psychiatrist wrote a 
prescription for the antidepressants and told her that there was a pharmacy 
on the first floor. Ruth thanked him and left, stopping in front of the 
pharmacy on their way out. Tony looked confused when she asked him what his 
waist size was before giving him Jay-Jay to hold. She smiled and told him 
it was all right and rooted around in her purse for a few minutes before 
finding a small metal tape measure she carried in her purse for shopping. 
She flipped it around his waist and measured him before leaving the two of 
them in front of the pharmacy. She returned a few minutes later with a 
large plastic bag in her hand and offered to take Jay-Jay from Tony. He 
refused, saying that Jay-Jay wasn't very heavy and it wasn't far to the 
car.
When they got home, Tony helped Ruth carry the mattress back up the stairs 
into his bedroom and put on the bed. Tony wasn't surprised when Ruth 
removed a package from the bag she had gotten earlier in the day and took 
out a waterproof mattress protector. The doctor had told him he was going 
to tell Mrs. Feldman to put a cover over the mattress to keep him from 
damaging the mattress. While he was ashamed at what was happening to him, 
he was glad that he wouldn't have to drag the mattress up and down the 
staircase anymore. That mattress was heavy! He was also glad that Mrs. 
Feldman wouldn't have to clean the mattress anymore; she had looked 
irritated this morning when he told her what had happened. At least this 
way all she'd have to clean would be the sheets and blanket, he thought.
	The rest of the day went normally and Tony was surprised at dinner when 
she offered him a second glass of milk. The family doctor had told him that 
he should try not to drink too much late at night. Tony shrugged and 
decided that he must have misunderstood. The doctor probably meant he was 
not to drink anything immediately before going to bed. Tony accepted the 
offered glass of milk and thought nothing more of it. Ruth put Jay-Jay to 
bed soon afterward and they sat and watched TV until bedtime. When Tony was 
getting ready for bed, there was a knock on his door and Tony went to 
answer it. Tony was surprised to see Mrs. Feldman standing there with a 
glass of water in hand waiting for him. He looked the water glass as she 
offered it to him and said, "But the doctor told me that I'm not supposed 
to have anything to drink before I go to sleep!"
Ruth smiled and said, "You forgot to take your medicine. Here, you'll need 
this to wash it down. Your psychiatrist told me not to worry about 
restricting fluids. Don't worry, everything's taken care of."
 She nudged a plastic bag sitting on the floor outside the door with her 
foot. He took the glass from her hand as she held out her other hand with a 
capsule. He swallowed the capsule and washed it down with a large gulp. He 
thanked her and moved to close the door, but was stopped by her hand on the 
door. "Tony," she said, "I've come to help you get ready for bed."
"But I am ready for bed. See? I've got my pajamas on and everything!", he 
exclaimed.
She took the glass from his hand and picked up the bag from the floor and 
said, "We're going to try something else for awhile. Your psychiatrist gave 
me instructions for what to do about your bedwetting."
Ruth walked over to the bed and pulled down the covers, saying, "Here, give 
me a hand with this."
She took a disposable bedpad out of the bag and laid it across the bed, 
tucking it in under the mattress. Ruth told him, "Now get the other side 
and tuck it in for me on the other side, Honey. That's  right. Here's let's 
put another one on for tonight. We'll see how wet it is in the morning. If 
you only need one, tomorrow night we'll just use one, but for tonight we'll 
try two."
She draped the second pad over the first overlapping it so that the half of 
the bed was covered by the absorbent pads. They tucked the ends in and she 
told him, "Now drop your pants and lay down on the bed."
"Wh..what?!", he stammered.
"I said, drop your pajama bottoms and lay down on the bed. Take them off! 
Your briefs too!", she told him firmly.
"But what have I done? I thought you weren't mad at me! I didn't do 
anything to get spanked for! I didn't mean to wet the bed. The doctor told 
me it wasn't my fault. Please don't spank me!", he said desperately.
Ruth smiled warmly and said, "I'm not going to spank you, Honey. I just 
need to put some protective briefs on you before you go to sleep and I need 
you to lie down so I can put them on you."
"Protective briefs? What are they?", he queried.
"They're waterproof briefs that you can wear while you're sleeping to keep 
you from getting the sheets wet. You don't want to sleep in wet sheets, do 
you?", she told him comfortingly.
"No, I guess not," he said dubiously.
He let his pajama bottoms fall to the floor and looked embarrassed when he 
slid his underwear down to his feet. Ruth put a businesslike expression on 
her face to save him from further embarrassment and said, "Good, now lay 
down on your back on the bed. That's right. Now roll on your left side 
while I get the brief ready."
Tony heard the sound of plastic crinkling behind him as she unfolded the 
disposable brief on the bed behind him. He asked her from where he lay, 
"But why can't I just sit on the edge of the bed and put them on like other 
underwear?"
"These are a different kind. Now roll back on your back, Honey. There you 
go. Here, I want to put some body powder on you to prevent chafing before I 
fasten them.", she told him.
Tony felt the cool sensation of the powder hitting his crotch and then she 
said, "Now spread your legs, Honey."
He did as he was told and felt the brief being drawn up between his legs 
and fastened on one side and then the other. The smell of baby powder 
wafted up from his crotch and reached his nose as she finished. Then he 
realized what she had done. She had diapered him! He rose from the bed in a 
panic and tried to get up saying, "No! You can't do this to me. I'm not a 
baby. Please don't make me wear diapers!"
Ruth held him easily on the bed with one hand as she sat down beside him. 
She put her arm around his shoulders and said, "Honey, the doctor told me 
that the medication will make you sleep very heavily. You won't wake up if 
you need to go to the bathroom. He told me to put you in protective briefs 
while you sleep. You'll wet the sheets if I don't."
"These aren't 'protective' briefs, they're diapers!", he told her 
mournfully.
Ruth had to admit to herself that in truth, he was right. They were 
diapers. But she didn't want his feelings to be hurt any more than they had 
to be. She told him half-truthfully, "Honey,  when little babies wear them, 
they're diapers. But adults have to wear them too at times, then they're 
called 'protective' briefs."
He looked at her trying to find the deception in her words and said, "You 
lied to me! You told me you were putting body powder on me when you were 
really putting baby powder on me!"
She smiled at his anguished face and said truthfully, "Honey, baby powder 
IS body powder. Here, look! See? It says so right on the back of the 
bottle! I use it myself after a bath to keep dry."
He looked at her with tears in his eyes and said accusingly, "You told me 
you put it on me to prevent chafing. What you really meant was it was 
supposed to prevent diaper rash!"
Ruth sighed and said, "You're right, Honey. I fibbed. I didn't want to hurt 
your feelings."
"But I don't want to wear diapers!", he wailed.
She hugged him to her and said soothingly, "You'll get used to them, I 
promise, Honey."
"But I don't want to get used to them. What will my friends say?", he 
pleaded.
She smiled and said, "How will they know if you don't tell them? I'm 
certainly not going to tell anyone."
"You're ashamed of me. If I had a teenaged boy who had to wear diapers 
living in my house, I wouldn't want to tell anybody either," he said 
reproachfully.
She hugged him again and stroked his hair, saying, "I'm not ashamed of you 
Tony. You just have a temporary problem that will go away with time. Try 
not to get upset about it. Neither doctor seemed to be very worried about 
it, so I think you shouldn't worry either. Now let me get you tucked into 
bed. It's time to go to sleep."
"Tucked into bed?", he quailed, "I haven't needed to be tucked in since I 
was a little kid!"
Ruth smiled warmly as she gently forced him to lie back on the bed saying, 
"I know you don't need me to tuck you in, but I want to make sure the pads 
don't slip. You understand that, don't you?"
Tony nodded sleepily as the medication took effect and she pulled the 
covers over him and began tucking them around him. He was almost asleep 
when she finished with the covers and bent over him to kiss him on the 
forehead, saying, "Goodnight, Tony. Sleep tight."
"Goodnight mama," he murmured in his sleep.
Ruth turned out the light and closed the door behind her as she left the  
 room. "Did he really say what I thought he said?", she thought to herself. 
The next morning Ruth went in to wake him before he awoke on his own. She 
wanted to see how wet the pads had gotten during the night. Besides she 
didn't want him to take off the diaper himself. If it was as drippy as she 
expected it would be, it would get everywhere if he wasn't careful. She sat 
down on the bed beside him and said, softly, "Tony? Tony, it's time to get 
up! Come on, Honey, wake up!"
Tony opened his eyes to see her sitting beside him looking down on him with 
loving eyes. He hadn't been woken that way since he was a little kid. He 
wanted to tell her that he was too big to be mothered like that, but the 
words wouldn't come out. He moved his legs slightly to make more room for 
her and felt the soggy diaper squish between his legs. Tony blushed in 
embarrassment as he realized that he had done it again. They were right! He 
should wear diapers to bed!
Ruth nodded understandingly and took the covers out of his hand,  pulling 
them down below his knees. She felt the pad beneath him and said 
approvingly, "Well, the brief seems to have done the trick. Only the pad 
underneath your bottom is wet. We'll only use one pad tonight."
Tony started to sit up, but was restrained by her hand on his chest. "Let 
me get you out of that wet brief before you get out of bed, Honey."
He lay back passively as she unfastened the tabs on the diaper and pulled 
the wet padding down between his legs. She had been right, she told 
herself. He had really soaked the diaper. If he had gotten up on his own he 
would have dripped everywhere. She told him, "You can sit up now, Honey. 
Put your feet on the floor and stand straight up. Be careful, I don't want 
you dragging the wet brief off the bed onto the floor. There's a tub of hot 
water waiting for you in the bathroom. Why don't you take a bath and then 
I'll get you some breakfast?"
Tony got out of the bed and trotted into the bathroom without stopping to 
get dressed. It seemed silly to act modest around someone who had just 
taken his pee-soaked brief off. 'Brief', now there was a face saving lie if 
he ever heard one. It was a diaper and he had wet it just like a toddler. 
At least she didn't insist on using a baby wipe on him and had let him go a 
take a bath with some dignity.
He bathed quickly and went back to his room to dress before going down to 
breakfast. When he arrived, he found her at the stove cooking bacon and 
eggs for him. The smell of maple-cured bacon filled the kitchen and made 
his mouth water in anticipation.  "The margarine and jam are in the 
refrigerator Tony, help yourself. Your toast will be done in a minute. Why 
don't you get yourself a glass of milk while you wait?"
He took the margarine and jam out of the refrigerator and poured himself a 
glass of milk. Ruth brought him his breakfast and set it down on the table 
in front of him with some silverware and a napkin. She poured herself a cup 
of coffee and sat down on the other side of the table from him. She smiled 
at he and said, "Now that wasn't so bad, was it?", she observed as he 
wolfed down his breakfast.
"Bad? No, it's great! I love maple-cured bacon!", he said around a mouthful 
of food.
"Don't talk with you mouth full, dear. I meant the brief. I was asking you 
about sleeping in the briefs last night," she said in a motherly fashion.
"Oh, it wasn't so bad when I got used to it," he said airily.
Ruth smiled at his response, he had fallen asleep before she had finished 
tucking him in the bed. She doubted he was even aware he was even wearing 
it while he slept. "That's good. I'm glad you didn't have any problems," 
she said. "Tony," she asked sweetly, "I need to go do some shopping and I 
was wondering if you could watch Jay-Jay for me while I go up to the 
grocery store. It should only take about forty-five minutes."
Tony agreed readily and she left for the store. Tony played with Jay-Jay 
for a few minutes, then turned on the TV to Nickelodeon and sat down to 
watch with Jay-Jay in his lap. Rugrats was on and they watched an episode 
titled "Regarding Stuie". Tony settled Jay-Jay's pacifier in his mouth 
while he indulged himself in his secret pastime; sucking his thumb. He had 
always enjoyed sucking his thumb and had been very upset when he was five 
and his mother made him stop. He had never told her that he hadn't really 
stopped, only learned to hide it from everyone. He only sucked his thumb 
when he was sure he wouldn't get caught. Oh, sure his mother had seen him a 
couple of times with his thumb in his mouth, but he was always able to 
explain it away as some injury he had done to himself or something he had 
spilled on his fingers. He'd take the thumb out of his mouth and hold it in 
his hand and say that he had mashed it in the door or something. Last year, 
when he was in the kitchen making toast, she caught him with his thumb in 
his mouth and he had taken it out and put the rest of his fingers in his 
mouth one-by-one, licking them as he withdrew them from his mouth. He lied 
with perfect aplomb, telling her that he had spilled jam on his hand. He 
was sure that she believed him. It was always easier to believe a lie that 
was rational than an uncomfortable truth. She simply did not want to 
believe her thirteen-year-old son still sucked his thumb. Tony looked at 
Jay-Jay contentedly sucking on his pacifier and wondered if it was as 
satisfying for Jay-Jay as sucking his thumb was for him. The cartoon 
started and soon the two of them were engrossed in the story. As the 
cartoon unfolded, Stu, Tommy's father, went up on the roof to install an 
electronic weather 'goose' and fell. Stu hit his head and regressed back 
into babyhood. He spends the day toddling around the house in diapers like 
his infant son Tommy. Tony wondered what it would be like to regress into a 
baby again. He knew what wearing a wet diaper felt like now. Tony reflected 
that it was kind of fun, once he got over the humiliation of being 
diapered. He wondered how it formula tasted and what sucking a baby bottle 
felt like. Of course, now that he lived in a house with a baby there'd be 
plenty of opportunity to find out. The episode ended and a new episode was 
beginning when he felt something warm and wet in his crotch. "Oh no!", he 
thought in horror, "Now I'm wetting my pants during the day!"
He moved Jay-Jay aside and was relieved to discover that Jay-Jay's diaper 
had been leaking. Tony sighed and carried Jay-Jay up to the nursery to 
change his diaper. Jay-Jay was delighted by the attentions of his teenaged 
babysitter. He chuckled and grinned as Tony placed him on the changing 
table, removed the wet diaper, wiped him off and rediapered him. Tony put 
Jay-Jay's pacifier back in his mouth and picked him up again when something 
on the changing table caught his eye. It was a plastic jar full of 
pacifiers! He stopped and looked at the jar for a minute before gathering 
his courage to take one from the jar. Surely one would not be missed out of 
so many. He'd try it tonight when everyone was asleep. Tony tucked the 
pacifier in his pocket and took Jay-Jay back down to the family room.
When Ruth returned, she found them watching cartoons on TV. She asked Tony 
to help her and he put Jay-Jay in his playpen and hastened to give her a 
hand. When they finished, Ruth turned to Tony to thank him for his help and 
saw the wet spot on the front of his trousers. "Oh dear, Tony!" she said in 
mock surprise, "Are you having 'accidents' during the day, too?"
Tony looked down at his pants and realized that he had forgotten to change 
them after he had changed Jay-Jay. He stammered and said, "Bbb...but.. but 
it wasn't me! It was Jay-Jay! He was sitting on my lap and his diaper 
leaked! I just changed him! Really!"
Ruth chuckled and said, "I believe you. I was just teasing. It's happened 
to me, too. Why don't you go up and get changed so I can get those pants in 
the wash before the stain sets?"
Tony hurried up the stair and changed clothes quickly. As he was leaving 
his room with the wet pants in his hand, he suddenly remembered the 
pacifier in the front pocket. He ducked back into the room and took out the 
pacifier and hid it in the large seam in the bottom of the curtain at the 
head of the bed. "Perfect!", he thought as he smoothed the curtain back in 
place, "Mrs. Feldman would never think to look for anything there."
That night Tony was diapered before bed and tucked into his bed again. He 
didn't argue with Ruth this time, it was obvious that he would have to 
continue wearing diapers to bed until he got over his bedwetting. He laid 
back and enjoyed the sensations of being pampered and cared for like a 
baby. Ruth kissed him on the forehead like she did the night before and he 
pretended to fall asleep. When she closed the door he opened his eyes and 
reached under the pillow behind the bed. After fumbling around with the 
curtain a few minutes, he managed to retrieve the pacifier and get it up to 
his face. He took the pacifier in his trembling hand and put the nipple 
into his mouth and began to suck. The nipple did not reach as far back into 
his mouth as his thumb did, but the sensation was fabulous! He closed his 
eyes and imagined he was a baby again and his mother was there watching 
him, playing with him, feeding him and changing his diapers. This was the 
happiest moment since his parents' death. The medication started making him 
sleepy and he fell asleep and woke several times with the pacifier still in 
his mouth. He decided that he'd rather play it safe and slipped the 
pacifier back into its hiding place before he fell so deeply asleep that he 
didn't wake up until morning. He didn't want to have to explain to Mrs. 
Feldman why he was sleeping with a pacifier in his mouth. It was bad enough 
he had to wear diapers to bed!
When Ruth came in the next morning she found him soundly asleep with his 
thumb in his mouth. She did a quick double take as she realized what she 
was seeing. She resolved to say nothing to Tony about the matter, but she 
did decide to talk to the child psychiatrist about it. She woke him like 
she had the day before and removed his wet diaper before sending him off to 
the bathroom for his morning bath. The rest of the week passed 
uneventfully; Tony got used to being diapered before bed and decided he 
like the security of knowing he wouldn't wake up in wet bedclothes. Ruth 
was somewhat disturbed to find brown stains on the back of his diaper on 
two occasions, but she put it down to his failure to wipe himself properly 
after going to the bathroom. Ruth called the psychiatrist later in the week 
and told him about Tony's thumbsucking. The doctor seemed unconcerned, he 
told her he would talk to Tony about it in the future, but a minor 
regressive behavior like that was common and absolutely harmless. He seemed 
to be more concerned with Tony's mood and how he had adapted to wearing 
diapers at night. She told him Tony seemed to be happier since he had been 
put on medication and had stopped moping around the house. She told him 
that Tony hadn't wanted to go out and see his friends yet. The doctor 
advised her to be patient, that those things took time.
After another week Tony's body started to adjust to the antidepressant and 
he found it easier to stay awake in bed without falling asleep. He would 
cover his head with the covers in case Mrs. Feldman came in to check on 
him, but she never did. He would get out the pacifier every night and suck 
on it for an hour before putting it away and going to sleep. His fantasy of 
being a baby again became so real when he was sucking the pacifier. One 
night, after sucking the pacifier for about an hour, he grew thirsty and 
decided to go down to the kitchen to get something to drink. He hid the 
pacifier in his pillow case and padded quietly down the stairs clad in his 
robe-covered diapers. When he saw the bottles of cold formula waiting in 
the refrigerator, he couldn't resist. He took a bottle and putting it in 
the pocket of his robe, crept back up the stairs to his room. He got into 
bed quickly and took the pacifier out of the pillow case before throwing 
the covers over his head. The first suck of the bottle was a shock; the 
sweet flavor of the thin formula was unexpected and he was surprised at how 
difficult it was to get anything from the bottle. After a while he got the 
hang of it and he sucked on the bottle contentedly, drowsing from time to 
time.
End Part Three of Four
Copyright (c) 1995 by Jennifer Loraine



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From: an369971@anon.penet.fi
Date: Tue,  9 Apr 1996 05:29:11 UTC
Subject: ~Story: "A Story for Tony" Part 4 of 4

A Story for Tony
        by Jennifer Loraine     
Part Four of Four

The next thing he knew Mrs. Feldman was shaking him awake. She pulled down 
his covers and froze at the sight of him lying in bed with a nearly empty 
baby bottle. Formula dripped from the nipple slowly and puddled by his side 
on the bedpad. She reached down and said, "And just what young man, were 
you doing with this in your bed?"
Panic paralyzed Tony's vocal cords, he tried to croak out an explanation, 
but only strange, strangled vowel sounds escaped his lips. Ruth put the 
bottle on the dresser and said, "After you take your bath and get dressed 
young man, the two of us are going to have a long talk!"
Tony turned beet-red in embarrassment and nodded his agreement. Ruth 
unfastened his diaper to find the second shock of her day. He had pooped in 
his diaper! Her eyes went wide and she said, "Just stay right there, Tony. 
Don't move a muscle! Do you understand me? Stay right were you are! I'll be 
back in a minute!"
She left the room with a determined expression on her face and returned a 
few minutes later with a large box of baby wipes in her hand. Tony lay in 
bed trembling in terror. The smell of the dirty diaper had reached him and 
he knew what he had done. There was no hiding from the maternal judgment in 
her eyes. He had disgraced himself. Tears welled up in his eyes and rolled 
down his cheeks as she told him to draw back his legs to his chest and hold 
them there while she cleaned his dirty bottom. The moment she touched him, 
his bladder cut loose and he began peeing uncontrollably in fright. Ruth 
snatched up the front of his diaper and threw it over his crotch, catching 
most of the spill in the already sodden diaper. He whimpered as she 
scrubbed him clean again and then told him to roll over on his stomach. She 
told him to wait while she got something and he heard her go over to his 
dresser and take something out of one of the drawers. He closed his eyes 
for the beating he knew was going to come. She was going to beat him with 
his own belt! Tony stiffened as he felt the covers ripped off the bed and 
the plastic edge of the soaked bedpad  pulled out from underneath his 
stomach. He felt another pad placed on the bed and waited for her to order 
him to move on top on the pad. Of course she'd make him lie on a bedpad 
while she spanked him. He had just proven he couldn't control himself 
anymore, hadn't he just peed right in front of her? He shivered in fright 
as he felt her put something cold and slimy in the crack between his 
buttocks. She told him to roll back on his bottom and he complied without 
ever opening his eyes. Tears streamed down his face as he whimpered, "Mama, 
mama, please don't hurt me mama. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do it. Please 
don't beat me."
Ruth powdered him quickly and rediapered him before sitting down on the bed 
at his side. She pulled the boy up from the bed by his shoulders and gat  
hered him to her bosom. His body was wracked by paroxysms of stark terror. 
He wept copiously and kept repeating over and over, "Please don't hurt me 
mama. I'll be good. Don't leave me mama!"
Ruth was astonished at the change in him. The happy teenager of the night 
before had become a terrified two-year-old before her eyes. She rocked him 
back and forth shushing him and making meaningless mothering noises to try 
and subdue his fears. After a while he quieted and she saw the pacifier 
lying in the bed beside him. She reached over him with her free hand and 
picked up the pacifier to show him, saying, "Did you take this from 
Jay-Jay's room, Tony? It was naughty of you to steal from your brother."
Tony started trembling violently in her arms again and she said hastily, 
"It's okay, Honey. I'm sure he doesn't mind, he has plenty of pacifiers. 
I'll get him another to replace it."
He touched the pacifier hesitantly and then began shaking again. Ruth put 
it in his hand and said, "It's yours, Honey. Don't worry. Mama's not mad at 
you. Here, let mama put the nipple in your mouth for you. Doesn't that feel 
better?"
He looked up at her with the saddest, most forlorn eyes she had ever seen. 
She slipped the nipple between his lips and he began to suck on the nipple 
the moment she put it in his mouth. He put his arms around her neck and 
wept into her shoulder and wept like a lost child who has finally found 
it's mother. Ruth patted his back and comforted him and soon his crying 
stopped. She asked him in the simple, gentle words one uses with a small 
child who has just experienced a terrible trauma, "Okay now, Honey? Come 
on, Honey. Let's go downstairs and mama will get you something to eat."
Tony looked at her with a glimmer of hope in his eyes and said around the 
pacifier, "Bath?"
Ruth shook her head and said, "Mama will give you a bath later, Honey. 
Right now mama thinks her boy should get something to eat. How would you 
like some bacon and eggs for breakfast?"
Tony's eyes lit up and he opened his mouth letting the pacifier fall onto 
his lap, saying with a hoarse shout, "Bacon!"
She put the pacifier in her pocket and held his hand as she guided him down 
the stairs into the breakfast nook. Ruth sat him down at the table and 
pinned a kitchen towel around his neck to use as a bib. She put the 
pacifier into his mouth to keep him occupied while she cooked him 
breakfast. When she was done, she set the food down in front of him and 
spoon-fed him eggs while breaking off small pieces of bacon and handing 
them to him. He chortled in glee over each piece of bacon she fed him. When 
he was finished, she wiped his face with the towel and led him into the 
family room to sit on the floor in front of the TV. She turned on 
Nickelodeon and let him watch the Rugrats while she placed an emergency 
call to the psychiatrist.
His psychiatrist told her he'd be right over and arrived about an hour 
later carrying the traditional doctor's black bag. Tony recognized him and 
waved at him as he walked in the room. Ruth took Jay-Jay out of his playpen 
and held him on her hip as she watched the doctor give Tony a quick medical 
examination. The doctor called her over and said, "There's no overt sign of 
physical trauma and he doesn't appear to have the personality 
disintegration that would be consistent with schizophrenia. My guess is 
that he's undergoing a temporary fugue state brought on by stress. There's 
a strong possibility that he'll be better by tomorrow when the effects of 
the stress have worn off. What I'd like to do now is sedate him and let 
nature take it's course. If you don't mind, I'd like to question him while 
he's under sedation and try to get at the root of the problem. The factors 
that have caused this state should be near the surface of his personality 
at this time and should be relatively easy to access. If we don't take this 
opportunity now, they might be sublimated deep within in personality when 
he emerges from the fugue. It might take years of psychoanalysis to reach 
them again. Do I have your permission?"
Ruth nodded her permission and the doctor injected a sedative into Tony's 
arm. The doctor helped Tony to the couch and waited patiently for the 
medication to take effect. He asked Ruth to leave the room while he 
questioned Tony. Ruth took Jay-Jay and retired into the kitchen. An hour 
later the doctor came into the kitchen came into the kitchen and said, 
"He's resting quietly now. Tony's had a rough time of it. From what I got 
out of him, his mother was an alcoholic when he was young and would beat 
him savagely for the slightest transgression. His father was a 
disciplinarian and agreed with his wife's treatment of the boy. How they 
ever managed to keep from getting arrested for child abuse is beyond me. 
His subconscious personality stopped maturing between the ages of two and 
three, although his conscious personality continued to mature normally. He 
blames himself for the deaths of his parents subconsciously. I suspect it's 
because he has a very deeply rooted fear/hate relationship with his mother 
and wished that she would die whenever she beat him. Sadly, it's a very 
normal reaction to that sort of stress. When they died in fact, his 
subconscious blamed him for the wish fulfillment and regressed him to a 
time before his mother's alcoholism destroyed their relationship.  In 
effect his subconscious is trying to resurrect both his mother and his 
mother's love at the same time. His infant id has decided that they left 
him because he wasn't worth loving anymore. He had matured too much to love 
and so he's been abandoned. The poor boy is only looking for his mother to 
love him. Under normal circumstances, I'd advise a patient's family to have 
someone in his condition hospitalized, but in this case I don't think it 
would be helpful. As a matter of fact, I think it would detrimental to his 
condition. If we take him out of an environment where he feels loved and 
put him in an impersonal institutional environment, the fugue state may 
become permanent. He seems to identify you as a mother figure. Apparently 
you've acted like the idealized mother he's never had. If you can put up 
with his infantile behavior for a few days, I think he'll come out of it 
okay. He's basically a good kid with a sound personality who's undergone a 
tremendous amount of stress. The only thing I've seen that's even slightly 
abnormal about his conscious personality is that he likes to suck his thumb 
in secret. I don't think you'll ever break him on that habit, nor would I 
want to try. There are far worse things in life than being a thumbsucker in 
the privacy of your own home. If, after he comes out of the fugue state, he 
regresses in private from time to time in acceptable ways, I would be extra 
loving until he returns to normal. In short, I would baby him. He's had 
enough discipline to last a lifetime, for that matter, several lifetimes! 
Give me a call tomorrow and tell me how he's doing."
Ruth saw the doctor to the door and shut it behind him. "That poor boy," 
she thought, "I never dreamed that Mary was an alcoholic. No wonder I never 
saw her drink. I thought it was a religious belief. It's going to be tough 
to take care of a two-year-old toddler in a fourteen-year-old body, but I 
accepted responsibility for him and I've got to try. If the doctor's right, 
it should only last a day or two and he'll be back to normal. It's not any 
worse than nursing him through a bad illness." Ruth went back and found 
Tony asleep on the couch. She put Jay-Jay into his playpen and woke Tony up 
enough to get him up the stairs and into his bed. She took his coverlet and 
put it away, replacing it with a fleecy flannel blanket and tucking it 
around him. When she kissed him goodnight, his eyelids fluttered open and 
he looked at her and said, "Night-night mama!"
She smiled down at him and said, "Time to go night-night, baby. Mama loves 
you." Ruth put the pacifier in his mouth and turned out the light as she 
left the room.
Tony woke later that night feeling decidedly strange. He could see it was 
still dark, but he was horribly thirsty. His diaper was wet and he needed 
to be changed. He called out softly  for Mrs. Feldman over and over until 
he heard her coming down the hall.  He called her name again and he heard 
the door open and her say softly, "Tony..., Tony, Honey? Was that you 
calling me? Do you need me? Mama's right here baby."
He tried to call her again, but his mouth was so dry he could hardly speak. 
All he managed to say was "Thirsty!"
Ruth heard him and replied, "Okay Honey. Mama will get you something to 
drink. I'll be right back."
He heard her footsteps on the stairs as she when down to the kitchen and 
returned a few minutes later. She left the bedroom light off, guiding 
herself to his bed with only the hall light for illumination. She sat on 
the edge of the bed and slipped the nipple of the bottle between his lips, 
holding it in place until he could hold it himself. Tony practically gagged 
on the nipple! When he had asked her for something to drink, he expected 
her to bring him a glass of water. Not a baby bottle of formula! Had she 
found out about the bottle of Jay-Jay's formula he had taken? He blushed 
hotly in the semidarkness as his reflexes betrayed him and his mouth began 
to suck automatically.
When Ruth saw that he had taken the bottle, she pulled down the covers and 
put two fingers under the front of his diaper to see if he was wet. His 
diaper was soaked as she had expected. She pulled the covers off the bed 
and went to turn on the bedroom light. She had no intention of cleaning a 
dirty bottom in the dark. She set the changing supplies on the bed beside 
him and proceeded to pull the tapes of the sides of his diaper. Tony peeked 
around the bottle at her as she carefully pulled down the front of his 
diaper to check on the condition of his behind. He was a little messy, but 
it could be cleaned up with two swipes of the baby wipe. She told him, "Now 
lift your legs, Honey, so mama can clean your hiney. That's a good baby! 
Bend your knees darling. More! That's it."
"What was she talking about?", he thought in confusion.  "Had he pooped in 
his diaper? Why was she treating him like this? Was this some kind of 
punishment? She didn't act like she was mad at him. She was acting like he 
was her baby!"
He knew he should object, but he found her presence oddly comforting. He 
discovered that he enjoyed being treated this way by her. She wiped his 
bottom clean, coated his bottom with Vaseline and put a clean diaper 
underneath his bottom before she would let him put his legs down again. 
Then she efficiently rediapered him, put the diapering supplies back on the 
dresser and put the covers back on the bed again to tuck him in. She found 
the pacifier in the bed at his side and took it out of the room with her, 
returning a few minutes later with a long cord tied to the ring. She bent 
over his pillow as he was finishing the bottle and fastened the end of the 
cord to the pillowcase with a diaper pin. Ruth took the bottle from his 
hand and put it on his dresser, then came back and helped him sit up in 
bed. She took a cloth diaper from her back pocket and threw it over her 
left shoulder and held him close to her as she patted him on the back. Tony 
couldn't believe it. She was actually burping him! He started to tell her 
he didn't need her help to burp, when all of a sudden he let loose a long 
belch. He was so astonished at her behavior and his belch that he was 
speechless. She laid him back down in bed and tucked the blanket around his 
arms and shoulders. Then she kissed him on his forehead and said, 
"Goodnight baby," as she put the pacifier in his mouth.  Ruth put the dirty 
diaper in the diaper pail and took the bottle from his dresser before 
turning out the light and closing the door.
Tony lay in the dark for an hour sucking on the pacifier before he went to 
sleep again. What had just happened? Somehow during the night their 
relationship had changed. It was obvious she didn't feel like he was her 
adopted teenaged son anymore. Suddenly he was her baby boy. He had messed 
in his diaper and she hadn't even been surprised. She just changed him like 
she expected it to be dirty. And the way she had talked to him, she was 
acting like she didn't think he could talk like an adult! She was treating 
him the same way she treated Jay-Jay! What was going on here? The formula 
sat pleasantly in his stomach and made him sleepy. The covers made him feel 
warm and snuggily while the diaper made him feel secure and comfortable. 
Secure, that was the word for it. She made him feel secure and loved. She 
didn't care if he sucked his thumb, she wasn't even upset if he messed in 
his diaper. She had actually put a baby bottle in his mouth for him to 
drink while she changed him! She hadn't even yelled when she found 
Jay-Jay's pacifier in his bed. She had just gotten a cord to pin it to his 
pillowcase so he wouldn't lose it and to top it off, she put the nipple in 
his mouth before she left! He couldn't remember feeling this way ever in 
his life. For the first time, he felt truly happy. Whatever was going on, 
he didn't want to change it. He was sure he'd find out tomorrow. Tony 
smiled serenely around the pacifier as he slipped off into sleep.
The next morning Ruth awakened Tony as usual, but instead of rediapering 
him she led him by the hand into the bathroom to take a bath. She helped 
him sit in the tub and proceeded to rub his back with a soapy washcloth. 
Tony luxuriated in her attentions; all embarrassment he might have felt two 
days before had evaporated. He felt completely at ease in her presence and 
said nothing as she went over his body from head-to-toe with the washcloth. 
He thought it strange that she had decided to bathe him, but was not going 
to argue with his good fortune. He was slightly embarrassed by her use off 
baby talk to him; she cooed and prattled over him like he was a 
one-year-old. He didn't know how to respond to this kind of treatment, 
moreover, her speech didn't seem to require an answer. It was just motherly 
chatter meant to put him at ease. When she was finished, she helped him out 
of the tub and dried him with a towel.
Ruth led him back to the bedroom and rubbed him down with baby lotion 
before rediapering him. The rediapering surprised Tony. He understood why 
she had changed him last night when he was wet; he knew he'd be wet again 
by morning. But he was only a bedwetter, not incontinent, he didn't need to 
be diapered during the day! Did she know something he didn't? She helped 
him up from the bed and she said as she took him by the hand, "Come on 
baby, mama will help you down the stairs where she'll feed you eggs and 
bacon for breakfast. Won't that be nummy?"
Tony blushed and told her, "Thank you Mrs. Feldman, I'd like some bacon and 
eggs, but I think I can feed myself if you don't mind."
She turned to him with an expression of delighted surprise on her face and 
gushed, "Tony! You're back to yourself again!" She hugged him 
enthusiastically, then took him by the hand to lead him down the stairs.
"Uhhh...Uhhh, Mrs. Feldman?", Tony interrupted hesitantly.
"Yes, dear?", she answered absently as they walked down the hall.
"I...I think I can walk down the stairs without any help. It's not that I 
don't appreciate the thought, but I think I can manage it myself," Tony 
said diffidently.
"Ohh," Ruth said dropping his hand as they approached the stairs.
"Uhhh, Mrs. Feldman?", Tony began as he stepped off the stairs onto the 
first floor.
"Yes dear?", answered Ruth.
"Why did you diaper me again? I only wet the bed, you know. It's not like I 
can't control myself during the day," he stated positively.
"You peed and pooped in them three times during the day yesterday. I think 
it might be a good idea if you wore them this morning just to be on the 
safe side," she answered carefully.
"Yesterday!... I didn't wear diapers yesterday!", he exclaimed.
"You mean you don't remember, Honey? You called me mama and spent the 
morning playing on the rug in from of the TV in diapers," she said sweetly.
"Mama?", he said distantly. "I called you mama?"
"Yes, dear, don't you remember? Your psychiatrist was here and had a long 
talk with you on the couch, don't you remember?", she asked, looking him in 
the eye.
"No.....I don't remember anything like that happening," he said in 
bewilderment. ".....I really called you mama?"
"Yes, Honey. You cried in my arms and called me mama. Then I took you 
downstairs and fed you breakfast and gave you a bottle of formula to drink 
afterwards. I called your psychiatrist and he told me you were suffering 
from a fugue. You acted like you were a little baby all day yesterday. He 
said you might be better by today, but I didn't really believe him. You 
mean you really don't remember anything from yesterday?", she asked 
seriously.
"All I can remember from yesterday is that it was like any other day. I got 
up, ate breakfast and babysat Jay-Jay while you went to the store. I spent 
the day in the house, without going outside. We ate dinner and then you put 
Jay-Jay to bed and we watched TV until it was time to go to bed." he said 
distractedly.
Ruth tilted her head and queried, "What do you remember us watching last 
night, Tony?"
"The same thing we watch every Wednesday night, we watched "Buddies" and 
then "Primetime," he said with self-assurance.
"Today is Friday,  Tony," she said quietly. "If you don't believe me, turn 
on the TV to CNN or the preview channel on cable. They have captions with 
the date and day of the week. Don't you remember anything? Anything at all, 
it could be important."
"Well...," he began reluctantly,  "I do remember one thing I haven't told 
you about. I g..guess it doesn't matter now...."
"What is it, Honey?", she said, trying to be encouraging.
He hung his head in shame and said, "I came down the stairs because I was 
thirsty and wanted to get something to drink from the refrigerator. When I 
saw the bottles of Jay-Jay's formula, I couldn't resist. I took one. I'm 
sorry. I didn't think it would be missed. I guess you must have found it."
Ruth nodded in agreement and said, "I found it lying in the bed beside you 
yesterday morning. A little formula had leaked on the bedpad, but it looked 
like you had drunk almost all of it. I found one of Jay-Jay's pacifiers in 
your bed too. Did you take the pacifier earlier that day?"
"No...I took it weeks ago. You're...You're not mad at me are you?", he said 
gazing up at her with a pleading look in his eyes.
She hugged him affectionately and said, "No, Honey I'm not mad at you. I 
told you yesterday you could have it. If you want a pacifier so badly you'd 
steal it from Jay-Jay, I guess you should have one of your own. You don't 
have to hide your thumbsucking anymore either. I love you just the same, 
whether you suck your thumb or not."
"Y..you love me?", he asked in surprise.
"Yes, dear, I love you. You're kind, gentle, considerate, helpful and very 
obedient. Any mother would be proud to have a son like you," she said in a 
loving tone.
"But I stole from Jay-Jay! I wet the bed and have to wear diapers to sleep! 
You can't love me!", he exclaimed incredulously.
"I love you diapers and all, Tony. Don't you see that those things aren't 
important if you love somebody? If you need to play at being a baby to 
convince yourself that someone loves you, it's okay with me. I don't mind. 
I'll give you bottles of formula and change your diapers until you don't 
need them anymore. You're my son now and I'm your mother. All  I want from 
you is one thing," she said with a growing smile.
"What's th...that?", Tony asked.
"Call me mama," she grinned.
Tony's face broke out in the sunniest smile she had ever seen on a child as 
he said, "Yes, mama!" His smile turned into a small frown as the thought of 
what his psychiatrist would say. "But.. but what will my doctor say when he 
finds out you let me suck my thumb and wear diapers?"
Ruth patted him on the rump and said, "Silly baby! I just told you he was 
over here yesterday and saw you sitting on the floor in your diapers and 
sucking your thumb! Now go over to the breakfast table so I can fix your 
breakfast for you. You'd like eggs and bacon for breakfast, I suppose?"
Tony grinned again and said, "Yes, mama!"
Tony's mother made him bacon and eggs for breakfast as promised, letting 
him feed himself. Although she did insist on pinning a kitchen towel around 
his neck to use as a bib. Tony was a little disappointed that she didn't 
give him a bottle of formula to drink with his meal, but when he finished, 
she gave him a baby bottle filled with chocolate milk to drink while he was 
watching TV. She spread an old blanket on the floor for him and Jay-Jay to 
sit on and did her chores while the two of them sat in their diapers 
watching cartoons.
Around midmorning Jay-Jay pooped in his diaper and Tony changed him for his 
mother. A few minutes later, Tony was surprised to discover that he was a 
little wet too and went to his mother to report for his own diaper change 
after putting Jay-Jay in his playpen. Ruth was busy in the kitchen and told 
him to wait a few minutes, she'd change him as soon as she was finished 
with the pots and pans. He was walking back to the family room to watch TV 
until she was ready to change him when something strange happened to him. 
Suddenly his bowels cut loose and he pooped in his diaper with no warning! 
His bladder followed suit and seconds later he was wearing a diaper that 
was both dirty and dripping. He sank to his knees and crawled the last few 
feet  to the blanket and began to cry. He had only wanted to play at being 
a baby, now he realized that mama was right! He'd HAVE to wear diapers now!
Ruth rushed in the room to see why he was crying. She found him on his 
hands and knees on the blanket with tears running down his cheeks. Ruth 
knelt beside him and said,  "What's wrong, baby? Can mama help?"
"I...I pooped in my diaper!", he said in humiliation.
"I see you did," she said, smelling a dirty diaper and looking at the way 
his sodden diaper was drooping between his legs.
"Now I'll have to wear them all the time!", he said anguished at the 
thought of being treated like a baby all the time.  He wanted to play at 
being a baby, not be cared for like one because his behavior required it.
"Well," his mother said sympathetically, "you'll have to wear them until 
you're potty trained again. That's for sure. Come on, Honey. Roll over on 
your back and mama will change your diaper."
He sniveled as she cleaned him up and put him in a fresh diaper. She 
reached in her pocket and took out his pacifier and said, "Cheer up, Honey! 
Here! Suck on this, it's not so bad! You'll feel better in a little while, 
I promise."
"You're....You're not mad at me for pooping in my diaper?", he blubbered.
"Of course not, Honey. Mama told you she loves you, dirty dydees and all," 
she said with a smile. She tickled playfully him on his tummy and before 
long he was giggling and squealing happily. She helped him to a sitting 
position and said, "It's time for your nap, Tony. We're going to go clothes 
shopping for you this afternoon and I don't want you to get overly tired."
"But it's too early to sleep mama! I can't go to sleep this early!", he 
whined.
"Come on, Tony. You don't want to get paddled, do you?", she asked 
jokingly.
A hurt look came over his face and he said seriously, "You aren't going to 
spank me with a hairbrush, are you mama?"
"I was thinking more of a swat across your diaper-padded fanny with my hand 
if you don't get moving," she told him with a grin.
"Ohhh....," he said with a brightening look. "I guess naughty babies do get 
swatted on their behinds, don't they mama?"
"That's right, Tony. Now come on and mama will get you tucked in bed."
She led him by the hand docilely up the staircase and tucked him in his 
bed. She sat on the side of the bed and said, "I called your psychiatrist 
this morning to tell him the good news. He told me to tell you not to worry 
about the diapers for now, he's sure you won't need to wear them during the 
day in a couple of months. He told me he was pleased to hear you had 
recovered so quickly and would like to see you tomorrow. We've got to get 
you some clothes to go over your diapers, Tony. I saw some sweats in your 
closet you can wear shopping this afternoon, but you'll have to have more 
than one change of clothes to wear. I was thinking of buying you a couple 
of pairs of overalls and some more sweats. I can put some snaps in the 
seams of the crotch and legs to make it easier to change you. I think I saw 
some footed sleepers at Wal-Mart that you could wear around the house. Some 
new curtains for this room and some decorations for the walls would be nice 
too. Maybe I can find a nice nursery motif like teddy bears," she mused 
aloud.
"I can't sleep, it's too early," Tony said crankily. "Please let me come 
down and watch TV," he begged.
Ruth smiled and cooed down at him, "Mama will take care of that, baby. Just 
lay right there and mama will be back in a minute."
She returned with a brown furry object under her arm and said, "Here baby, 
take this and put your arm around it."
Tony took the object from her a discovered that it was a fluffy brown teddy 
bear with sad eyes. He noticed she had pinned one of Jay-Jay's cloth 
diapers around its waist and covered it with plastic pants. He tucked it in 
the hollow of one shoulder and curled his arm around it as she explained, 
"Teddy didn't used to have to wear dydees until recently. Now he's sad 
because he doesn't think anybody will love him because he wears diapers. 
Will you be his friend, Tony? I think you understand how he feels."
Tony nodded at this with wide eyes and giggled as he felt the plastic 
crinkle against the bare skin of his side. Ruth handed him a baby bottle 
full of formula and said, "Mama brought you a bottle of warm formula to 
drink, Honey. She wants you to take your medicine and drink your formula 
until it's all gone. Will you make a happy  bottle for mama?"
Tony nodded gravely as she handed him his antidepressant capsule. He 
swallowed the capsule and began to suck on the nipple as she continued, 
"Mama will read a story to you, Honey. It's all about a little bear named 
Poo who was exceedingly fond of honey. I think you and your new friend will 
like it."
Tony closed his eyes and cuddled his bear feeling sooooo comfortable. The 
soft flannel blanket snuggled against his skin luxuriously, while the 
diapers gave him the feeling his bottom was being gently caressed. He 
suckled the warm formula from the bottle avidly. His rapidly filling 
stomach  made him sleepy and his eyelids began to droop. Ruth stroked his 
hair as she read the story, lulling him into a peaceful sleep. His 
breathing slowed and became deeper as he drifted off into a dreamland 
filled with soft, furry creatures who were never cross or even said an 
unkind word. He knew they were his friends when he saw that they all sucked 
their thumbs and wore diapers just like him. They laughed and tumbled 
together on the soft, moss-covered earth of his dreamland, happy to be 
alive and play in the warm sunshine. One of the bears wet his diapers and 
began to giggle uproariously. All the others joined in and laughed as they 
good-naturedly changed his soggy diaper. They were such jolly playmates! 
Then they went to look for a baby bottle tree so they could all sit down 
and have some formula for lunch. When they finished their bottles, they all 
lay down for a nap together in a heap. Tony snuggled against his new 
friends and dozed with a smile of contentment on his face as he lay amid 
his furry companions. When they awoke, they changed each other's diapers 
with howls of delight as they saw the messes each of them had made. Then it 
was off to an afternoon of play as the comrades crawled and somersaulted 
together on the soft green grass. Tony's face shone with happiness as the 
dark cloud that been hiding his smiles evaporated under the loving sun.
Ruth put a bookmark where she had stopped the story and kissed Tony lightly 
on the forehead. She wasn't in any hurry to finish the story, she knew that 
she'd be reading Tony and Teddy stories for a long time before he was ready 
for her to stop.
Finis
Copyright (c) 1995 by Jennifer Loraine



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