Treat Regressive Behavior with Love, Patience by Beverly Mills Question: What could be wrong with a 7 year-old who wants to wear diapers and drink from a baby bottle? I'm a single parent, and I'm getting desperate. I found my son wearing plastic baby pants over his underwear. For Christmas, all he wanted was cloth diapers, plastic pants, diaper pins, and a baby bottle. How can I stop this? Answer: Growing up can be scary, and at brief points along the way, many children yearn to retreat to infancy. Out of nowhere, a 3 year-old will decide that crawling is more fun. The technical term for returning to behavior long since outgrown is regression. And when otherwise well-adjusted children regress, the infantile behavior is usually a reaction to stress, says Dr. Jim Dillon, a child psychiatrist and research director at Fairlawn Center, a children's psychiatric hospital in Pontiac, Mich. But whether the regression is a brief reunion with a pacifier or something as severe as this 7 year-old's preoccupation, psychiatrists and parents prescribe similar tactics: Ignore the babyish behavior, accentuate what the child does right and try to figure out the source of the stress. "The child may not even be aware of why he's feeling so stress out," Dillon says. "Look for any situation that would make being a baby preferable to being 7 years old." The most common event that causes regression in children is the birth of a sibling. But other upheavals - a new school, a recent divorce, mom's new boyfriend, a parent who can't pay the usual attention to the child - could cause this yearning for infancy. "Talk to the child's teacher," Dillon suggests. One woman from Hillsborough, N.C. says regression was brought on by an inattentive family. "I remember having these desires too, and I did not receive the basic nurture I needed from my family," J. P. says. While searching for the cause, don't forget to reassure you child, says Elizabeth Cook, a parent from San Jose, Calif. "Say, I understand that you miss being a baby and growing up can be scary," Cook says. When Barbara Lutke of Minneapolis faced the same dilemma with her 9 year-old, she too the advice of her pediatrician and allowed her son to wear diapers and drink form a bottle. "Since we allowed this, we have noticed a major improvement in his personality and in his school performance," Lutke says. A Norfolk reader is concerned if the boy's friends find out about the regression. "If I were the parent of such a child, I would allow him to be a bay in the evening, privately", Bob G. says. It also helps to give the child some extra attention a parent from Kendall, Fla., says. "Focus on what the child is doing right," Jean says. "Ignore the diapers and give him lots of love." Unless there are more serious problems, Dillon says, most children will stop acting like a baby on their own in six months. "If it continues or increases, talk to a psychologist," Dillon says. B.R. of Norfolk, VA. now 50, never outgrew the desire he had for diapers at age 6. "Now I still have strong desires to be diapered and am seeing a therapist," B.R. says. I think if I had been allowed when I was 6 I wouldn't have these problems today."