DIAPER DESIRES: PART 11
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Before I went to sleep I thought back upon the day. I thought of how word
of my accident spread around the school so quickly. If I had a choice I would
never have gone back to that school. I had just established a reputation that
would always be remembered by my classmates, probably to the day I graduate. Not
only would I be known for having diarrhea in class, but also wearing diapers. At
least that's what everyone would think. All I could think was "I should've kept
the diaper on, I should've kept the diaper on..." I fell asleep and rested for
about two hours.
As I woke back up I heard Lisa coming in the door with her friend Betty.
"Shhh!" mom quieted them. "Chris is taking a nap". I realized that Tony would be
getting home shortly afterwards and I figured he might stop by to see me. I'm
sure he was made aware of what happened, just that he wanted to see how I was
doing.
I got out of bed and felt a little better, although I certainly wasn't
hungry. I walked out to the living room where Lisa and Betty greeted me. Mom was
in the kitchen.
"How are you feeling, dear?" she asked me.
"A little better."
"That's good," she replied as she offered me some soda to help ease my
stomach. I carried it out to the TV where I sat down to watch cartoons.
"He's still in diapers?" Betty asked Lisa.
"Of course! He's not getting out of them for a long time! I've even come
up with a new name for him, diaper-butt!"
"Diaper-butt?" giggled Betty.
"Yeah! You look at his butt, and all you see on it is a big diaper!"
"Mind if I call you 'diaper-butt', Chris?" said Betty. I was too sick and
too tired to care, and I couldn't stop her anyway. I didn't say anything back to
her.
"Chris is not feeling well, so he probably doesn't want to be bothered
right now," mom told the girls. "Okay," they said as they trotted off to Lisa's
bedroom.
Cindy came charging through the door a few minutes later. She looked
upset.
"Chris! I was so embarrassed because of you!" she yelled.
"What?"
"Your little accident today!"
"Why are YOU embarrassed?" I asked her defensively.
"Everybody knows you're my brother, that's why!"
"It was an accident!"
"How? Weren't you wearing your diaper?!"
Mom intervened. "Cindy, he's not feeling well. I'll explain later."
As I expected, Tony showed up a few minutes later. Mom answered the door
and invited him in. He sat down on the couch next to me.
"I heard what happened to you today," he started.
"I'm sure everyone's heard about it," I replied.
"Oh yeah. I guess this wasn't the day for you to go without a diaper."
"You can say that again!"
"So, what did happen?" he asked.
"I was sitting in class and I needed to go to the bathroom, but Mrs.
Buxley would not let me leave since I left class two days before. I tried to
hold it but it just came out."
"You probably wished you had your diaper on!" he said.
"Oh did I ever! I'm never going to school without it again!"
"I wouldn't. I mean, I'd rather have people see me wearing a diaper than
messing my pants. Say, what did you do with my underwear?"
"I had to throw it away, it was all covered with poop. Will your mom know
it's missing?"
"Probably not. I've got lots of underwear," he assured me.
"Your belt's in my bag if you wanna get it."
Tony and I sat there for a few minutes watching the TV. During the show I
felt my diarrhea acting up again. At least now I had a diaper on. Unlike in
class, I didn't need to let the pressure build up. Instead, I let it freely come
out, filling up my diaper. No runoff down my legs, no soiled pants (no pants
period), nothing that could be seen from the outside but a diaper and plastic
pants securely holding it in.
My mom had left to run some errands and told me to lie down if I felt sick
again. I was feeling so-so-- not hungry, but not on the verge of throwing up,
either. Tony stayed there with me and played around awhile. He asked me if I
knew what caused my diarrhea. Of course I didn't know; I had no way to predict
it. He asked me what food I ate, and I told him that all I've eaten today was a
bowl of Rice Krispies, but I knew it didn't cause my diarrhea as I had eaten
them many times before.
Tony decided that he'd better leave and get back home. After he left I was
starting to feel tired again, so I returned to my bed. I lay down and felt the
diarrhea in the back of my diaper spread out as my butt went down on the
mattress. Also needing to pee, I wet the front of the diaper and went to sleep.
It was dark by the time I woke up. I knew it was nearly six o'clock as my
dad had just settled down in his chair and mom was preparing dinner. I walked
out to the kitchen and joined mom who was starting dinner. Betty had also left
by that time.
"How are you feeling?" mom asked me.
"I'm okay." She put her hand to my forehead to check my temperature. "You
feel a little warm, dear. I'll give you some medicine." She had me sit down as
she had me take some medicine. It tasted weird, but as long as it made me feel
better, that's all I cared about. I didn't mind the diarrhea, in a diaper, of
course. In fact I liked how the diarrhea made me mess my diaper even more. Never
again did I ever want to get diarrhea without a diaper! What I didn't like was
feeling so weak and tired, however.
"Are you hungry?"
"A little, but I probably won't eat much."
"How's your diaper?"
"It's messy, really messy."
"Okay, I'll have one of the girls change you after dinner."
It wasn't easy for me to sit there and eat dinner. Mom gave me smaller
portions, and I had a hard time even finishing what I had on my plate. As I was
tired I felt like I was about to fall asleep at the table. After struggling to
stay awake I left from the table and sat in the living room waiting for my
sisters to finish up.
My mom came out from the kitchen and told me that maybe I should go to bed
early. I didn't argue. I didn't feel up to doing much of anything else. Lisa and
Cindy finished up their dinner plates and came out to the living room shortly
afterwards.
"He's gonna be a real mess!" said Lisa. "He's had the shits all day!" she
joked.
"Lisa! What have I said about that language?" mom reprimanded Lisa.
"Mom, I'm twelve years old!"
"I don't care how old you are! I don't want that language in this house!"
"Okay, he's had the Hershey squirts! Is that better, mom?"
"Whatever," mom resigned. "Now before you change him, there's something
you'll need to know about."
Mom reached into one of the bags she brought home from her errands. She
pulled out some more plastic pants, larger than the ones I had been wearing,
with a much wider crotch, too. She also had a container of large safety pins.
"I want Chris to be double-diapered from now on.," mom said.
"What? Put TWO diapers on him?" asked Lisa. "His diapers are thick enough,
aren't they?"
"Well, yes, they are, but, as you know, Chris tried to go without his
diaper in school, and look what happened! He'll also need to wear two since you
won't be changing him as often."
"Why not as often?" Lisa asked.
"It'll take you longer to change him now. You'll be pinning his diaper to
his shirt so he can't take it off as easily, especially while he's in school
where nobody can watch him."
Mom went on to explain how the pins were to work here. The idea was for
the pins to be inserted into the waistband of my plastic pants and then run
through my shirt which was to be tucked in beneath the diapers, and then
fastened, thus making the plastic pants and the diapers beneath them more
difficult for me to remove. It seemed to be a bit extreme for my mom to do this
since, after today, I was never going to go around school without a diaper ever
again.
"You'll only change him twice a day," mom continued. "This will help to
settle who changes him the third time. Cindy, you change him in the morning
before school. Lisa, you change him in the evening."
Mom handed the plastic pants to Lisa as she followed me to my bedroom for
my diaper change. "Use the larger diapers in his top drawer for his second
diaper!" mom hollered as we walked down the hall.
I lay down on the mat where Lisa pulled off the plastic pants and the
well-soiled diaper. I was such a mess! It was all over my butt and Lisa had the
"pleasure" of cleaning it.
"I hope you don't get the shits like this too often!" she commented.
"Don't let mom hear you say that!" I admonished her.
"Well, mom's not in here, so I can say whatever I want, diaper-butt, er, I
mean, DOUBLE-diaper-butt! Ha! Another new name for you!"
Lisa spent quite awhile getting the last of the diarrhea cleaned off of my
butt. After doing a thorough job, she powdered me and put my diaper on, the
first of two, that is.
"There's the first one," Lisa said, fastening it up tightly. "And now,
here goes the second one!" she said, instructing me to get up as she slid it
under my already thickly-diapered rear end.
"You're gonna look so funny wearing two diapers!" she chuckled. Though it
was tighter-fitting than the first diaper, Lisa managed to securely fasten up
the closures on the outer diaper. "That butt of yours will be no match for THIS
diaper, that's for sure!"
She grabbed the new, larger plastic pants and slid them over the two
diapers. Lastly, she had me sit up to insert the pins. "Now try and take it
off!" she said as she went along my rear and inserted what seemed to be eight of
the pins. On my front she inserted four more. "You'll never get it off now!"
Finally she was done and I was set to go. I had to see what I looked like
in two diapers. I walked over to my mirror and was blown away at the sight of
the enormous mass around my butt. I just couldn't get over the way it looked.
The front of the diaper bulged way out. I was so excited over wearing doubled-up
diapers! And they were pinned to my shirt so I had no easy way of getting them
off! These double-thick diapers were essentially locked onto me! The excitement
of all this lifted me out of my lethargy. I hoped my diarrhea would last awhile
now. The diapers looked like they were made for taking really big, wet messes!
I walked back out to the living room with my crayons and drawing paper. I
took "my" spot on the living room floor and sat down to do my coloring.
"I thought you were going to bed, Chris," said my mom as she walked in.
"I'm feeling a little better now."
"Okay, but you should probably get some rest anyway, so don't stay up too
much longer."
"Okay, mom."
Over the next twenty minutes I continued to work on my drawing. Lisa came
into the room and said "I've lost one of my earrings! Have you seen it, Chris?"
"No, I haven't seen it," I answered without looking away from my drawing.
How was I supposed to know where it was anyway?
"I think you're sitting on it," said Lisa.
"No I'm not!" I responded.
"How can you tell? You couldn't feel it through one diaper, much less two!
Could you get up and look where you're sitting?"
What was her big deal over a stupid earring?! I stood up and bent over to
look down at the carpet for the earring. Suddenly there was a sound and
a bright flash behind me.
"Gotcha!" she said giggling.
I turned around in my bent-over stance and looked at Lisa holding a
camera. She got a picture of my butt! She tricked me into bending over to look
for her earring just so I could "pose" for her picture.
"I got a good close-up of your butt!" she commented. "We don't have any
pictures of you in your diapers yet! I'll put it in my photo album and write
'diaper butt' under it then show it to everyone when they come over!
"And you know what? You can't get your diapers off now so I can get as
many pictures as I want now and you can't do anything about it!" Lisa was taking
advantage of this situation to have her fun. I ran down the hall back to my
bedroom to put away my drawing stuff. There was another and a flash;
"Gotcha again!" she hollered.
Exiting my room, I stepped out into the hallway. Right before my eyes
there was another bright flash! "Ha! Now I got you from the front!"
"Mom! Tell Lisa to stop taking pictures of me!" I whined.
"It's her camera, her film, she can do whatever she wants with it, Chris!"
"Yeah, diaper-butt!" Lisa added.
"Tell her to stop calling me 'diaper-butt'!" As fitting as the name was,
it was starting to get old. Mom agreed this time.
"Lisa, that's starting to get old now."
"As long as he wears diapers I'm calling him 'diaper- butt'!" she
insisted. "Whatever suits you, Lisa," mom resigned. Some issues were just too
trivial for my mom to bother arguing over.
It occurred to me that because I ruined the pants I was wearing today, I
had none to wear unless mom bought me some new pants while she was out. I went
up to mom and asked her if she got me some new pants.
"Of course I did. The old ones were too stained," she said. "And besides,"
she added, patting me on the behind, "they won't fit you anymore!"
"What kind did you get?" I was hoping they'd be something the other kids
wore!
"They're the same as your old ones, just bigger around the middle."
"Aww, why the geeky pants again?" I protested.
"Because the 'geeky' pants are the cheapest! I've spent most of what I
budgeted for your clothing on your diapers!"
I stayed up until about 8:30 and got sent to bed early. My symptoms were
starting to clear up, but mom insisted I needed my rest. Just as I had become
accustomed to sleeping in one diaper, now I had to get used to wearing two of
them to bed, and at all other times of course. It took me awhile to get to sleep
thinking about what everyone would say to me tomorrow. They would definitely see
the diapers I had on underneath and they would know why I was wearing them.
DIAPER DESIRES: PART 12
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THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 9, 1989
Mom got us up even earlier since Cindy would need extra time to release
the pins, remove two diapers, wipe me, powder me, put on two diapers and plastic
pants, and then fasten the plastic pants to my shirt with at least a dozen large
safety pins. Diapering me was becoming quite a job for the two girls.
Not only was I wearing two diapers, but I was also wearing two shirts. I
had my plastic pants pinned to my undershirt which was tucked in beneath the
diapers. Looking in my mirror, I knew the plastic pants went up higher than my
pants would ever go so I put on a second shirt to cover up the exposed portions
of the diapers after I got the pants on.
Before mom handed me my pants she checked my forehead to make sure I was
okay to go to school. "You feeling better?" she asked.
"Uh huh."
"Okay, now don't even think about taking those diapers off!"
"How could I take them off?" I asked her, knowing that such a feat was now
nearly impossible with eight of twelve pins in my plastic pants that I couldn't
see or get to easily if I tried to remove them.
"Well, Tony could always help you undo the pins, but I have your sisters
put them in a certain way so I'll know if you or anyone else has taken them out.
Don't even try it!" She then handed me my pants. They were the same discount-
store-brand of pants that I was wearing yesterday, even the same light gray
color, and, as mom mentioned, they were indeed larger, but not quite large
enough as the pants fit just enough to allow me to fasten them. Having to apply
some force, I pulled them up over the huge, bulging diapers.
"These are too tight, mom.," I told her.
"It looks like I underestimated the size of your diapers," mom agreed,
"but there's not anything I can do until you come home. "Of course you could go
to school without them," she added as a joke.
I was concerned that the pants were so tight that they might split on me
if I made a wrong move in them. Besides lacking any fashionable design, they
were just cheap and poorly-tailored pants. I knew this because Cory, who wore
the same inferior pants, split them in school twice this year already. Of course
this only worsened his already unpopular reputation. If I split my pants, then
my diapers would be that much more exposed to everyone. I just had to be careful
not to bend over or subject the pants to any unnecessary strain.
Lastly, I pulled my outer shirt over the top of my pants. We were behind
schedule so Cindy and I had to run to catch the bus. The sidewalk had been
shoveled all along the street, allowing us to run faster. Within less than a
minute of arriving at the corner the bus pulled up.
"How do you feel today?" asked Tony as I sat down next to him.
"I feel okay."
"You're not going to try changing today, are you?"
"Oh, no, I'm never doing that again! I have nothing to change into. I
threw away your underwear, remember?"
"Oh yeah."
Having arrived at the school, Tony and I got off the bus. I knew that the
kids would start making fun of me for my accident. In fact, before I could even
get to class a kid in front of me said "hey, Chris!" as he bent down, scooped up
some snow and held it under him, dropping it as to simulate pooping. He was
making fart noises with his mouth for sound effects. He and his friends laughed
as they continued on to their classrooms. "Here we go," I thought. So far that
was the only attack anyone made on me in response to yesterday's crap mishap.
In class I took my seat and felt even more self-conscious than I did
Monday. Just as the bell rang Mrs. Buxley immediately ordered us to be quiet.
She didn't appear to be in a pleasant mood this morning. We started with
reciting the Pledge of Allegiance and then we went straight into the reading
lesson.
About an hour into the lesson I heard Megan and Tracy giggling. Whatever
it was, It appeared that what they were doing had absolutely nothing to do with
Mrs. Buxley's lesson. Megan had her crayons out and a blank sheet of paper on
her desk. A few minutes later Tracy, who was two seats ahead of me, handed back
to me a folded-up piece of paper, first passing it to the girl who sat in front
of me. She was always quiet and never participated in the activities of Megan
and Tracy, so she just handed the paper to me, not ever looking back at me or up
at the other two girls.
I opened up the paper and looked at what Megan had drawn. On the left side
was a picture of a kid that was supposed to be me. She drew "me" from behind
wearing baggy gray pants with a lot of brown scribbling around my butt,
obviously representing what my accident looked like to them. On the right side
of Megan's drawing was another picture of "me" wearing a diaper and only a
diaper. She labeled the left and right sides "before" and "after" respectively.
They were laughing loud enough to get Mrs. Buxley's attention.
"What's so funny?" the teacher demanded.
"Nothing!" said Megan innocently.
"When I'm teaching a lesson, only I am to talk! Do you understand that,
young ladies?" she reproached the girls sharply.
I felt embarrassed to know Megan was drawing such pictures of me. I wanted
to throw away the drawing, but I somewhat enjoyed looking at the depiction she
made of me in a diaper. Even though the diaper was only crudely represented by a
large circle over my rear end, it looked a lot like how I actually looked
wearing it. She even drew in the folds and creases at the bottom and the top of
the diaper and around the legs. I began to think that she was spying on our
house, but later I reasoned that there was only an extremely remote chance at
best of her doing such a thing. Maybe she had a brother who was in diapers and
she was familiar enough with such a sight to be able to draw such a picture.
In spite of Mrs. Buxley's scolding, the two girls were at it again,
giggling and making another drawing. Before they handed it back to me, Mrs.
Buxley caught them in the act.
"Ahem!" the teacher started, summoning the girls' attention. "This isn't
art class, girls! Put your crayons away now, Megan!"
"Okay," she replied softly.
"What are you drawing?"
Before Megan could say anything the teacher walked over to her desk and
picked up the paper. Megan was trying to dispose of the drawing before the
teacher saw it, but it was too late. "Hmm, interesting!" commented Mrs. Buxley.
"I've had it with you girls! I'm taking you two down to see Mr. Jenkins!" she
said angrily. "I'll show him your 'artwork', too!" The two girls were
immediately dragged out the classroom.
Once again Megan and Tracy got in trouble for their antics. Most of the
girls in class were well-behaved, even Megan was well-behaved most of the time.
Tracy, however, was always getting in trouble, and since the two of them found
out I was wearing diapers, Megan was becoming more like her friend, woefully
lacking in self-discipline, especially after I had the accident in class. The
remainder of the class period before recess, an entire fifteen minutes, went by
uninterrupted.
Today was the first time this week that recess was allowed outside. A
swath had been cleared of snow through the center of the playground and the snow
was also cleared around the playground equipment. I met with Tony out by the
swings. As I expected, some of the kids came up to me and made facetious remarks
about my accident.
"You should wear a diaper, Chris!" said a boy, one that I didn't know.
"Chris pooped his pa-ants! Chris pooped his pa-ants!...," taunted another
group of boys walking by.
"Hey, there's 'poopy-pants' over there on the swings!" went a girl.
Those were the most notable comments I could recall that day. I did my
best to ignore them, but it was difficult to do that, realizing that nearly
everyone in the entire school was aware of what happened the day before. It
wouldn't be long before everyone would know I was also wearing diapers. They
were so much bigger and bulkier from wearing two of them that they were easily
noticed by anyone merely taking a quick glance at me except for the fact that
I'd be wearing my coat on the playground every day until the weather turned
warmer.
I showed Megan's drawing of me to Tony.
"Wow! Megan drew this?" he said.
"Yeah. She's been making fun of me about it since Monday. She's never even
talked to me until this week."
"What has she been doing?"
"Her friend Tracy and her just keep looking at me and giggling. They keep
laughing at me for wearing these pants!"
"Maybe Megan likes you, Chris! Why do you think she drew that picture?"
"Just to make fun of me!" I replied. "She has always ignored me until this
week."
"So why did you keep the picture?" Tony asked.
"Because, uh, I wanted to show it to you." Well, I did, but I really
wanted to keep it because I liked looking at the diaper depiction she made.
I returned to class and saw that Megan and Tracy were back from the
principal's office and back in their seats. Their faces had a look of shame and
regret for their misbehavior. I sat through the mid-morning time period during
which I usually needed to get up for the bathroom. Today was no exception. At
11:15 in the middle of math I needed to go, but Mrs. Buxley was not about to
give me back my "bathroom" privileges, even in spite of what happened the day
before. All I could do was to sit there and wait until I had to release it.
Within a half hour I was ready. After pooping my pants in class without a
diaper on, peeing in class in a doubled diaper didn't seem so bad now. It almost
seemed as natural to do it in class as it did at home. Being around everyone
else made me self-conscious still, but the thickness of the two diapers gave me
such a feeling of security. I knew that I could safely wet them in class without
any leaks or messes. I started to wet into the diaper. It felt good to know that
there was no chance of anyone finding out I was wetting in them. I felt that I
could even safely poop in the diaper if I needed to, but I only needed to pee.
Of course the diaper provided me no assurance that I'd never be subjected
to teasing from the other kids from what happened in the past. A kid to my
immediate left turned to me and said out loud, "hey, Chris! Isn't it time for
your bathroom break?" His comment was soon followed by the entire class
laughing.
"Okay!" the teacher stopped in her lesson. "I want everyone in this
classroom to forget what happened yesterday!" she shouted. "I don't want to hear
another word about it! Ever!" I didn't want to hear anything about it either,
but I wasn't so lucky.
In fact, many of the students noticed that I had diapers on now. Two
diapers underneath my pants were impossible to conceal. The bulge was just too
obvious for anyone to ignore. I wasn't allowed to wear my coat in class, making
me more vulnerable to exposure.
I went through the lunch hour and the rest of the school day in wet
diapers. The word had spread quickly as everyone was telling me that I was a big
baby to be wearing diapers at my age. I didn't mind the references to me wearing
a diaper as much as I did references to having an accident in class.
It was hard for me to stoically disregard the unflattering remarks from
everyone. I began to empathize with Cory, who, up to now, was the sole recipient
of school-wide ridicule, at least in the third grade. He always appeared to be
unmoved by what was said about him, but, deep down, I'm sure there was a soft
spot in him that was hurting. I'd seen him run back into his classroom to cry in
privacy a number of times. One of the remarks I heard was one I had to agree
with. The kid said to me, "if I wore stupid-looking pants like those I'd poop in
them, too!"
I was on my way to meet Tony when Megan and Tracy came up to me. I tried
to avoid them, but they were quickly gaining on me. I started running, only to
slip and fall on the ice. Once again the diapers helped to reduce the impact. As
I was getting up, the two girls caught up to me. Megan extended her hand to help
me up.
"We're sorry we made fun of you," Megan said, plainly and openly. This
sounded like a sincere apology, not just an apology mandated by a teacher. That
is, it sounded sincere. Megan was a good liar, too.
At first I was stunned that they were suddenly so serious. Or were they
just acting serious? Their approach was completely inconsistent with the way
they treated me in class before. In fact I was a little suspicious as to whether
they were being sincere or not. I was unable to say anything to acknowledge
their apology, sincere or otherwise. They went on with their apologies, Megan
speaking on Tracy's behalf as well. "And we're sorry for making fun of your
pants, too," said Megan.
"Yeah, they actually look good on you," added Tracy.
All I could do was stand there with a look of mistrust on my face. I
started to walk off, knowing Tony was waiting for me.
"Chris! Please! We're really sorry! Please forgive us!" Megan begged.
"Okay." That's all I could say. I forgave them, but I still had suspicions
that this was just an act they were putting on. Again I tried to walk away from
them.
"We just want to apologize! We feel we shouldn't have made fun of you!"
I felt that maybe they were seriously apologizing after all. No, they
wouldn't! Not Megan and Tracy! Still, I decided that I'd better at least look
like I accepted their apology. As long as they were faking their apology, I
faked forgiving them.
But then, what if they were really being sincere? I kept vacillating
between thinking they were kidding with me and thinking they were serious. I was
too confused to know which way to think! If they were serious, and I didn't
accept their apology, they may have just said "alright, be that way! We'll just
draw some more pictures of you and then copy them and give them to everyone in
the school!" I don't know if they would have taken things that far, but since
they were willing to make amends with me, at least pretending if nothing else, I
felt it was best to let them.
"Okay, I know you're sorry," I said. "You're not going to say anything
about my pants anymore?"
"No, Chris, we won't," said Tracy.
"And nothing about my, um, my diapers?"
"No, we won't say anything about your diapers," said Megan.
"Bye, Chris!" they both said as I went off to meet Tony. Only five minutes
remained in the recess, just enough time to tell Tony about Megan and Tracy.
"Chris! Where were you? I thought maybe you had to go home again!"
"No, I was talking to Megan and Tracy."
"Megan? And Tracy? You were talking to girls?"
"Yeah, they came up to me and said they were sorry for making fun of me
for wearing diapers."
"Really?" This totally blew Tony away.
"I don't know if they're kidding around with me or not," I added. I still
felt doubtful about the two girls, thinking that their apologizing to me was
just a setup.
"I think they like you, Chris!"
"How do you know?" I asked. I wanted to deny such a thought.
"Oh, girls do that sort of thing, Chris."
Tony was the same age as I was, eight, so what made him think he was such
an expert on girls? Sheez!
"If you knew them like I did," I said, "you'd probably think they were up
to something."
"Well, just go along with them," Tony advised. "Let them talk to you, have
fun with them!"
The bell rang. "Well, there's the bell," Tony said. "See you on the bus!"
DIAPER DESIRES: PART 13
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I was back home from school again. All I could think about for most of the
afternoon and evening was Megan and Tracy. The more I thought about them the
more confused I became. Were they really sorry, or was this whole thing a trick
that they set up? Why were they doing this? Until I knew for sure that this was
not just a ploy for them to get more information from me so that they could
spread it around the school, I didn't feel like telling them anything. I didn't
want the whole school to know that the minute I got home I was to take off my
pants and stay in diapers the rest of the day, every day, and not wear any pants
at all on the weekend. Some of the kids knew where I lived, and I could just see
all of them coming over to see me in my diapers!
I didn't want them to all know that my sisters changed my diapers most of
the time. Lastly, I didn't want the word to be spread that I enjoyed wearing
diapers and being made to wear them wet and messy for several hours between
changes. It was enough that the entire school knew I wore diapers now. I just
hoped such further details about my diapers wouldn't ever make it around the
school.
After playing in my room awhile I got up to check to see if dinner was
ready. Cindy was sitting on the couch reviewing her social studies book. She
looked up at me. "Who were those girls you were talking to today, Chris?" Cindy
asked.
"Oh, uh, that was Megan and Tracy."
"Megan, eh? And Tracy? Whoo! hoo! You have GIRLfriends, Chris?"
"No, I don't have GIRLfriends! They were just talking to me!"
"Yeah, about what?"
"Well, they were making fun of me in class because of my diapers, and they
said they were sorry."
"They were, eh? Do they wanna come over and change your diapers now?" Now
Cindy was getting smart-alecky.
"No, they just said they were sorry!"
"They probably don't have little brothers who wear diapers and they wanna
come change yours, now!" She was laughing.
"Look, I don't even know why they were talking to me! They were probably
joking or something! Now stop it, Cindy!"
"They like you, Chris!" she continued, ignoring my plea for her to stop.
"They wanna diaper you up and pretend you're their little baby boy! Ha, ha! They
wanna come see how cute you look in your diapers! They..."
"I said knock it off! Aren't you supposed to be studying?"
"Don't tell me what to do! You're not my dad!"
"And you're not my mom!"
"Maybe not, but I change your diapers!"
I was at a loss for a good comeback now.
"Maybe your GIRLfriends want to change them, too!" she added.
"THEY'RE NOT MY GIRLFRIENDS! NOW SHUT UP!" I yelled angrily.
A fight was about to ensue before mom intervened. "Oh come on, please!
Stop it! Now!" she demanded.
"They wanna DIAPER you, Chris!"
"Cindy! Enough! Go back to your homework!"
Seeing that dinner was only started I walked back to my room and spent the
next couple hours in there. To divert my thoughts from Megan and Tracy I started
to think about how Tony would be sleeping over the next night. I hoped that he
would ask me for one of my diapers. I felt that I would like to have a friend
who would share in my diaper fun, and I knew Tony would enjoy them once he got
himself past the anxiety over telling me about his interest in diapers.
After dinner I was due for the last diaper change for the day. I had
dumped a large load into the diapers since getting home from school. All day I
had to walk around with a mess wedged between my butt and two diapers and a pair
of plastic pants tightly pinned to my shirt. I also managed to wet the diapers
quite nicely. For once Lisa didn't have anything catty to say while changing me.
In fact, she appeared to be in a foul mood. With a scowl on her face she quickly
went through the changing routine, not saying a word.
"What's the matter, Lisa?" I asked, curious to know what was troubling
her.
"Shut up, diaper-butt!" she snapped.
"Sorry! I was just asking!"
"You wanna know what's the matter? I'll tell you what's the matter! I
found out I got a D in English for the quarter. I just barely got a C in math,
too. How are your grades?"
"I dunno. I think mine are okay."
"Mom and dad will kill me when they get my report card."
Oh well, I sarcastically thought to myself.
"I lose about ten minutes of study time a day changing you!" she added.
"That's over an hour a week, Chris!"
Nothing wrong with her math, why is she getting only a C in it? She
actually lost most of her study time to talking to Betty on the phone every day.
I wanted to say something, but she was already in a bitter mood and I felt it
was best to keep my mouth shut and keep peace, especially since I had already
been in a quarrel with Cindy today.
As this was a bath night, Lisa left me naked as I went into the bathroom.
Of course I was closely watched to ensure that I didn't use the toilet. Cindy
sat in dad's chair, which was just before the beginning of the hallway, studying
her book and glancing up every so often through the open bathroom door to make
sure I didn't use the toilet. I felt that they were exaggerating a little on
enforcing preventing me from using the toilet. Just for a test, I filled a cup
with water and started to pour it slowly into the toilet to simulate the sound
of me peeing into it. Right away Cindy looked up. "Ha! I caught you!" she said.
As she started to walk towards the bathroom she saw me standing there holding
the cup above the toilet. "Chris, what are you doing? It sounded like you were
using the toilet!"
"I was testing you, that's all."
"We're all watching you! You'd better not even touch that toilet!"
As I stepped out of the bathtub I saw Lisa pass swiftly down the hallway
stomping her feet, still seething over her poor grades. She stormed off into her
room and slammed the door. Naked and dripping wet, I walked to her door and
knocked.
"Who is it and what do you want?" she asked rudely.
"I need my diapers put back on!" I told her.
"Have Cindy do it! I'm on the phone!" Of course, the very reason her
grades were down! I walked back out to the living room and asked Cindy to put my
diapers back on. As I lay down on the pad I expected Cindy to get in her licks
some more on Megan and Tracy. Of course, as I expected, she did just that.
"Why don't you invite those girls over? Then I can show them how to diaper
you!" I said nothing as I wasn't feeling up to rekindling another battle of
wits. At 10:00 I was in bed, alternating between thinking about Tony staying
over tomorrow night, and Megan and Tracy, if they were playing tricks with me or
not. I had a feeling they were. I did not trust them.
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 10, 1989
At long last it was Friday morning. Back in the classroom, Megan and Tracy
were in their seats, giggling and being silly as usual. They couldn't keep up
this deceptive ploy of theirs forever, could they? I wasn't going to fall for
anything. The last thing I was going to fall for was thinking that they wanted
to be friends.
I joined Tony on the playground at recess. We took two adjacent swings and
tried to synchronize ourselves with each other. As he was about my height and
weight, this was fairly easy to do. A third swing next to me swayed vacantly in
the chilling wind until Megan came along and sat in it. Tracy stood in front of
us.
"Hi, guys!" Megan said.
"Oh, uh, hi Megan," I greeted her, though not so warmly.
"Don't you wanna be friends, Chris?" she asked. "We really do feel bad
about what we were doing to you in class."
Yeah, right, I thought. At that point I stopped, skidding my feet in the
snow. I had to nip this thing in the bud and stop her at once.
"Look, I know you're just trying to make me tell you about my diapers!
What do you want to know?!"
"We don't want to know anything, Chris!" Megan answered innocently. "We
just think you're a nice boy and we'd like to be friends with you!"
"And we think you're nice too, Tony," added Tracy.
"What's wrong with being friends?" asked Megan, who was staring right into
my eyes.
"Yeah, what's wrong with that?" said Tracy.
"Well, nothing, just, you guys are..."
"Okay, fine!" said Megan, feeling frustrated. "If you guys don't want two
nice girls like Tracy and I as friends, then okay, we'll just not talk to you
then." Fine with me and Tony. At that point they got up and walked out to the
playground to join some other girls. I knew what they were doing, and I wasn't
about to let them do it.
"I think they just want to be friends," said Tony.
"No, they want to find out some more about me and my diapers so they can
spread it around the school! Don't give in to them!" The bell rang as we headed
back to class.
Back in the classroom, Megan and Tracy just sat in their seats, ignoring
Mrs. Buxley and goofing off during her lesson. Every few minutes Megan would
turn around and look back at me with a miffed stare. I saw her pass a note
across the aisle, unfolded. For the second or so that I could see it, the note
looked like it said something like "I'll get him," but I couldn't clearly make
out what it said.
As time passed, the notes were passed, too. Mrs. Buxley caught them in the
act.
"Alright! I'm separating you two right now!" shouted Mrs. Buxley. "Tracy,
change seats with Randy!" Poor ol' Megan and Tracy, their classroom fun was
finally and abruptly brought to an end as the boy in the opposite corner
exchanged seats with Tracy. After the two students were settled into their new
placements in the room, Mrs. Buxley continued with her lesson. Megan just sat
there sulking and resting her head on her crossed arms on the desk. "Megan! Sit
up and pay attention!" demanded the teacher, who was now very furious at the two
girls.
My body's timing was off today. Not until just before lunch did I need to
go to the bathroom. I managed to hold it until I was out in the cafeteria eating
my lunch. I wet my diapers while sitting at the table and talking with Tony.
I saw Megan and Tracy sitting at a nearby table with two other girls. I
had never seen the other two girls with Megan and Tracy; in fact, I didn't know
their names. They were all staring at Tony and I and laughing. One of the girls
got up and walked over to me. She stood behind me and looked down at my rear end
as I sat there. She then ran back to her table giggling. I couldn't clearly hear
what she said to her friends over all the noise in the lunchroom, but it sounded
something like "you're right! he IS wearing one!" Obviously this was in
reference to my diapers and the way they made a large, unmistakable bulge
beneath my pants. Even more obvious was that Megan and Tracy had malicious
intentions when they tried to make "friends" with Tony and me.
During the afternoon spelling lesson I needed to poop, and badly. I tried
to hold it in until I was at least on the bus, but there was just too much of it
to hold back. I couldn't help but to mess my diapers. The sensation of needing
to poop in class was so much like the way I felt Wednesday, except this time, I
was diapered! I'm glad I was, too as I probably would not have lasted until the
end of the school day. While I was sitting there, I tried to look like I was
just studying the words in the lesson, but I was more concerned about messing my
diaper inconspicuously. I tried to avoid grunting and making other gestures that
indicated that I was defecating. At once, I released it. I felt the contents of
my bowels spill into the seat of my diaper.
For the rest of the class period I sat there in my mess, hoping the smell
wouldn't spread to the rest of the classroom. Every move I made I could feel the
poop squished between my body and the hard plastic of the chair, cushioned by my
diapers. During the remaining hour of class all I could do was sit there and
hope that nobody would find out that I pooped in my diapers. Diapers or no
diapers, the teasing and ridicule about it would have been the same thing all
over again.
That final, agonizing hour was over with. As the bell rang I got up out of
my chair, feeling the extra mass in my diapers. I tried to walk naturally as I
did at home when my diaper was messy, but being in the classroom made me so much
more self- conscious that walking with a messy diaper suddenly felt different.
DIAPER DESIRES: PART 14
-----------------------
I got on the bus and took my seat next to Tony. I kept thinking about
hoping Tony would try out my diapers tonight. This was the night Tony would stay
over as we had planned earlier in the week. As we rode home we talked about the
things we'd do while he stayed over. I suggested that he bring some of his
Nintendo games and some of his comic books. He had only stayed over once before
and didn't know that we had a Nintendo game system that first night, so this
time he brought along some of his games. The bus pulled up to the corner to let
me off. I said bye to Tony, who told me he'd be over at around 5:30.
5:30, just as he told me, his mom dropped him off. As he came through the
door, the first thing I noticed was that he was carrying a red duffel bag which,
I presumed, contained his change of clothes and his Nintendo games. Usually all
he carried was just a shirt along with a pair of socks and underwear, and his
game cartridges wrapped inside the shirt with the other clothing. I knew he
wanted to get a hold of one my diapers and sneak it back home in the bag.
As he probably expected to see me, I was in my freshly- changed diapers.
His mom and his six-year-old sister Kara, who were also at the door, also saw
that I was clearly wearing diapers as my shirt was tucked in underneath and
pinned to the diapers, making their span across my stomach fully visible.
"Look at Chris, mom!" said Kara, "he's wearing a diaper! Why are you
wearing a diaper?" she asked me.
"My mom makes me wear them," I told her.
"Why-y-y?" she asked, as a six-year-old would typically do. "Don't you use
the potty?"
"Kara, please!" said Tony's mom. "Some kids have to wear diapers longer
than others! Come on, we gotta go! Have fun, Tony!"
"Oh, I will, mom! I will!" he said, and I knew just what kind of fun he
had in mind, too!
Mom brought home some pepperoni pizza and she also stopped by the video
store and rented a couple movies. Since it was Friday night, mom let Tony and I
stay up an extra hour to watch movies and play games. Cindy and Lisa joined in
on some of the games and also watched one of the movies with us. After the movie
was over, it was time for me to get changed.
It was nine o'clock before I got changed. I was due for a diaper change
and then some. Lisa, as usual, did my evening diaper change. With the diapers
off, she noticed that my poop had spread around my entire diaper area.
"Gee, Chris, can't you keep your poop in one neat pile? Why do you get all
over your butt like this? Just to make it more difficult?" Earlier in the day I
had been sitting on a hard plastic seat which helped to spread the poop around
my butt a little, plus it had been several hours, so what did she expect? Oh,
well, at least she was in a better mood than last night. I'd rather have her
make a few wisecracks about my diapers than be grouchy. I just lay there on the
changing pad as I had done every day. She got my stinky mess cleaned up and put
freshly-washed diapers on me.
While I was getting changed, I could see Tony's shadow in the hall as he
walked up to my bedroom door to get in another sneak peek. He must have enjoyed
the scent of the powder and the sounds of the closures and the plastic pants
being slipped on. I even saw him glance around the corner to see what was
happening.
Tony and I finished out the evening playing some of the games he brought
over. While we were playing, I heard a sound that was a lot like messing one's
pants. Moments later came the smell associated with it. I paused the game and
turned to Tony.
"Did you just poop your pants?" I asked him.
"Uh, yes, uh, I did, it was, umm, an accident. I think I'm getting the,
getting the runs."
What a perfect opportunity for him to be wearing one of my diapers! I
could tell that it wasn't an accident from the way he was talking.
"Well, shouldn't you go change?" I asked him.
"Oh, it's not too bad, I'll change when we go to bed."
Whether it was an accident or not, Tony didn't seem to mind sitting in his
mess for the remainder of our game-playing session. It was 11:00 when mom told
us it was time for bed.
Earlier in the evening my dad had brought in a cot and a sleeping bag for
Tony. It was placed on the floor next to my bed with the changing pad between
us. Right behind Tony's cot was where my diaper drawers were. I didn't know if
he would try to reach behind him to sneak one of my diapers out of the drawer
overnight, or if he would just come out and ask me for one. As he stripped to
his underwear, I saw the large spot on its seat from his "accident". His pants
were also soiled. He stood there, staring at my diaper drawer, the bottom one
partially open with a diaper sticking out of it. Finally, he turned to me and
told me about his interest in diapers.
"Chris, I have to tell you something that I've been wanting to tell you,
but I was afraid to. I'd like to wear one of your diapers tonight." At long
last, he came out and asked me if he could wear one of my diapers!
"You remember what you were telling me the other day, about whether or not
I wished I wore diapers?" he continued. "Well, I kinda wish I did. Not just
kinda wish, I do wish I could wear them." He paused for a moment and looked at
me as I was listening quite intently to his story.
"I watched you get changed tonight, and it got me so excited, I couldn't
help but to poop my pants. I wanted to wait until I could get one of your
diapers on, but I couldn't wait. I kept looking at the diapers you're wearing
and thought about how I like the way diapers look. Every time I see a baby
waddling around in a thick diaper, I wish I could just be that baby. I've wanted
to wear diapers since I was potty-trained, too. I hated potty training and I
wish I never was potty trained and just kept in diapers. I think my mom knows
I'd like to wear them, but I know she wouldn't get them for me."
"That's how I felt about my parents, but look what they did! They put me
into diapers! You just have to push things, take the chance of getting spanked
or grounded. Eventually they'll give up on you and diaper you! It was worth it
to me!"
"You're the only one I've ever said anything to!" said Tony. "I've always
felt that way about wanting to wear diapers, but I never told anybody about it."
"Don't worry, you can trust me, Tony. Tell me anything you want," I
assured him of my confidentiality. He continued.
"When I saw that you wear them, that made me want to wear them even more,
now that I know you can get them in bigger sizes. I just wish I could get my mom
to make me wear diapers like yours does.
"Well, hey, put one of mine on!" I told him.
"I will! I like your diapers and I've been waiting to wear them!"
"You can really wet in these, and you can poop a lot in them, too!" I
added. He took off his underwear and pulled a diaper out of my drawer.
Sensing the delighted look on his face, he put on one of my diapers. He
ensured it was tightly in place as he fastened the closures. "Oh, yes! This is
great!" he said with a big grin, standing in the mirror and admiring the way he
looked wearing it. "I wanna wear these every day now!"
"Now put on some plastic pants," I told him. I had him put on one of the
older pairs of plastic pants that were no good to me since they wouldn't fit
over the two diapers I was now wearing.
Just like I did when I first wore the diapers, he also was enjoying the
way the diaper looked on him. After a couple minutes of looking at himself in
the diaper, he turned off the light and returned to his bed.
It took us awhile to get to sleep. As we lay there, we continued to talk
about how he could get his mom to put diapers on him. The most obvious solution
was for him to just start messing in his pants with total reckless abandon. Or,
he could make it look like he was having diarrhea more frequently. Maybe doing
this would convince his mom he needed diapers and she'd start making him wear
them.
We spent most of the night talking about, of all subjects, diapers! He
related some of his childhood experiences and what he could remember about
wearing diapers and training pants, how his sister teased him for wearing
diapers for so long, how his toilet training was so difficult, how he hated
toilet training, stuff like that. "I can't believe I'm telling ANYBODY these
things!" he said. I had a lot of good stories to tell him, too, and I'm sure he
enjoyed listening to my anecdotes of my earlier childhood. He couldn't believe
it when I told him I was grounded to the bathroom every day after school for a
week.
We talked about how great it would be if Tony could get "caught" wearing
my diapers one night and then be forced to wear them from that point on. I
enjoyed being able to freely tell him about how much I really, truly loved
wearing diapers. We kept it up until it was nearly 1:00 A.M., when we finally
went to sleep.
It was the middle of the night and I couldn't get to sleep. While this was
caused mainly by the fact that the moon was approaching its full stage and
shining right through my window, I was also thinking about all the fun and
exciting diaper stories Tony and I exchanged, I was also hoping that Tony could
get some diapers of his own and be made to wear them full-time, just like me.
I heard Tony squirming around in his sleeping bag. With the aid of the
moonlight beaming through my window, I could faintly see that he was out of his
sleeping bag and lying on the cot with his legs spread widely apart.
"Hey, Chris, you awake?" he whispered.
"Yeah, I can't sleep, either; the moon's too bright."
"I'm about to go in the diaper! I'm peeing in them! This is so FUN! I love
diapers! They're so fun!"
He got really caught up in his excitement over it. "Shhh! Don't wake
everyone up," I had to tell him quietly.
"Sorry, Chris, I just love wearing them, and wetting them!"
"Wanna wet them some more?" I asked rhetorically.
"You bet I do!" he answered enthusiastically.
"Tell you what, I'll go get you a can of pop. Drink it, and, by the time
you wake up, you'll need to go again."
He liked that idea and told me to get him a soda. I got up and sneaked out
to the kitchen to grab a can of orange soda (his favorite) from the
refrigerator. I took a root beer for myself, too. Upon returning, I handed him
the pop. It was nearly 3:00 A.M. and any sleep we would get would be at most
only a few hours. We each sat up and quietly talked, sipping our sodas, and
telling silly kiddy jokes, which, of course included bathroom humor as most kids
so commonly engaged in. We also got into a discussion about Megan and girls in
general, which eventually led us to talk about why you never hear girls fart.
"Because girls don't eat beans?" said Tony.
"Cindy doesn't like beans, but Lisa eats them, but she never farts!" I
commented. "Every time I eat them, I fart like crazy! My diapers make them so
they don't sound as loud as they used to!"
As we fell asleep quite late, it was 10:00 before I woke up. I rolled over
on my stomach and felt dampness in my diaper, as if I had gone during my sleep,
probably just a little while ago since the diaper hadn't yet soaked most of it
in. I was getting myself to a point where I was wetting every night. I also
messed in them more frequently, though I could only count on that happening
about every second or third night. Minutes later Tony woke up.
"Did you wet again?" I asked him.
"Not yet, but I need to go really bad! In fact, I think I'm getting
diarrhea again!" He climbed out of his sleeping bag and squatted down towards
the floor. I could hear the wet, runny mess spew into the diaper, the sound
muffled by the thick diaper. As much as it sounded like he let out, I thought
for sure it would start leaking out the leg bands of the diaper, but they
managed to hold it all in. Too bad he didn't have two diapers on like I did!
"Oh, man! Did I ever have to go! I peed in them, too!" he exclaimed. "I'll
have to change before my mom picks me up. I wanna wear it awhile while it's
dirty!"
"Hey yeah, just keep wearing it. It's probably good for another full
load! It didn't even leak at all! Besides, you can't leave a dirty diaper in
here anyway. Everyone will think I changed my own diaper, which I'm not allowed
to do. C'mon, let's go watch cartoons."
Tony was in a situation where he had to leave the diaper on, lest I get in
trouble for making it look like I took my diaper off and changed it. He grabbed
his pants, soiled from last night, and put them on. His pants were too small to
fit over the diaper. He couldn't quite pull his pants up all the way, leaving
the top three inches or so of the diaper showing, and he had to leave the fly
completely undone. He concealed the exposed portions of the diaper by pulling
his shirt down over it.
"These diapers are so thick I can get my pants on!" Tony exclaimed. "No
wonder you have to wear such big pants to school!"
We then joined Cindy and Lisa who had the TV on and tuned to our favorite
cartoon.
"A little late this morning, guys?" said Cindy, who usually expected us to
be up sooner. "Yeah, we couldn't sleep," I told her.
"We couldn't sleep, either," added Cindy. "The moon was really bright last
night."
Tony and I sat down on the couch with my two sisters sitting on the floor
in front of us. Tony didn't realize that after he sat down, his open fly was in
full view, and behind it, that big, thick-- and now wet and messy-- diaper!
At the commercial break Lisa got up and saw Tony sitting there, not aware
that the diaper was showing so much over his pants.
"Look, Cindy!" exclaimed Lisa. "Tony's wearing a diaper, too! Let's change
his diapers; maybe mom will triple our allowances now!"
Tony just sat there and said "uh, I can change my own diapers" in a rather
sheepish voice.
"Maybe you can," Lisa said, "but since Chris isn't allowed to change his
own diapers, then if his friends come over to wear diapers, they're not allowed
to change theirs, either!"
Just at that time, my mom emerged from the bathroom. She walked out to the
living room and caught the tail end of the discussion among us.
"Mom!" Lisa began. "If Chris' friends come over, and they wear his
diapers, they have to go by the same rules as Chris, right?"
"What? Tony, are you wearing one of Chris' diapers?"
He couldn't lie. "Uh, yes, Mrs. Barrett, I am."
"Why is he wearing your diapers, Chris?"
"Because he got diarrhea last night, so he wanted to wear one!" I said.
"Sure, he just probably likes to poop his pants just like you did, Chris!
That's why you're in diapers now, and it looks to me Tony wants to be in
diapers, too!"
"It was only an accident!" said Tony. It wasn't, of course, but he didn't
want my mom to know that.
"Sorry, I've heard that one a few times too many, Tony!" my mom denied
him. "I'm beginning to wonder if all you boys are like this! Oh well, I guess
that makes TWO babies we have to take care of, at least while Tony's here!"
"So, does that mean we change HIS diaper, too, mom?"
"Yes, Lisa! If Tony wants to be like Chris, we need to treat him like
Chris to be fair! Has he, er I mean, have THEY been changed yet?"
"No, mom. We haven't. We wanna wait until the cartoon is over."
"No, change them now! They're probably both wet from all that pop they
drank last night!"
That was only the half of it! Just wait until they got to see what Tony
left in his diaper! Whoa boy! Cindy got up and commanded me to go to my changing
pad. Tony was still sitting in front of the TV. "Come on, Tony, you too!" said
Cindy.
"I don't need a change!" he asserted.
"You do too! You said you had an accident last night!"
Tony looked up at my mom. "Do I really have to do this, Mrs. Barrett?" He
always addressed my parents by last name to show respect for them.
"Yes, Tony, you do. When you're a guest in our home, you have to abide by
our rules. Now go, Cindy's waiting for you!"
Tony got up and walked into my room, where I was already lying down and
getting my wet diaper removed. After I was diapered up again Cindy said, "now
it's your turn, Tony."
Having no way out of this, he walked over to the pad and lay down on it
with his pants still on.
"Well, you gotta take your pants off first!" Cindy told him impatiently.
"Ooh, they're messy, too!" she commented. "Let's get those filthy things off of
you!"
"This is embarrassing," he said as he pulled off his pants. Stripped to
his diaper, he lay back down on the pad. Cindy, now becoming an expert at
diapering, quickly released the closures and pulled off the diaper.
"Hoo...wee! Tony! I'd say you need a change! Yucch! You're worse than
Chris!" Cindy had gotten to where she didn't wince at the sight of my messy
diapers anymore, but Tony's mess was enough to put a disgusted look on her face.
"Guess you'd better wear two diapers, also!"
"I can't believe your sister is changing me!" said Tony, turning his head
to me. All I could do was look at him silently, as if to say "well, I didn't ask
them to do it!"
Cindy wiped his diaper area thoroughly, powdered it, and then put a diaper
on him, and then another diaper. After ensuring each closure was tightly
fastened, she grabbed another pair of my larger plastic pants and put them on
him. She told him she was done diapering him. "I don't have any pins for you,"
she said, "or I'd pin your plastic pants on so you couldn't take them off!"
As he got up, she patted him on his thickly-diapered rear and said "now,
that wasn't so bad, was it?"
Cindy started to leave the room. As she was halfway out the door, she
turned around and said "oops, I guess I better take these with me, too." What
she was referring to was Tony's pants.
"Wait, where are going with those?" he asked.
"Chris can't wear his pants, so neither can you! That's the rule! Besides,
they're dirty and they need to be washed!"
I just looked at Tony and said "well, you wanted to wear diapers, too, so
now it looks like you got your wish!"
"Well, yes," he said, "but, I didn't think your sisters would be changing
me! I can change my own diapers! Why can't you change yours?"
"It's 'the rules!' It's how they want to punish me! And now they're
punishing you!"
"They're really serious about this diaper thing, huh?" Tony commented.
"Oh, yeah, they're very serious!"
"Do you know what will happen if you don't follow the rules?"
"I dunno. I don't want to push things too far with my mom and dad, or they
might take away the diapers!"
"You wouldn't want that, huh?" said Tony.
"Shit no!" I was only eight years old, but I heard Lisa say the word
"shit" enough times that I was familiar with it, especially during excessively
messy diaper changes.
As I watched Tony get his diapers changed by Cindy, it seemed like he
really didn't mind. In fact, it almost looked like he was enjoying it, but I
knew he didn't want to tell me that. I learned that he just wasn't very open
about his desires to wear diapers. It took him a week just to tell me he wanted
to wear diapers in the first place. I certainly didn't expect him to come out
and tell me he liked having my sisters change him. Of course he was probably
embarrassed, nonetheless. I wasn't about to mention it to him, but even I was
even beginning to enjoy getting my diapers changed, rather than to change them
by myself. At that age, I really didn't understand such feelings, but they were
there and I enjoyed them. It must have been that getting changed by someone else
added another element to the "babyishness" of it all. I began to think that I
would just never grow up. This part of me would want to stay young forever.
DIAPER DESIRES: PART 15
-----------------------
Before we returned to the Saturday morning television 'toon- fest, we sat
there and talked more about how Tony could go beyond my house and be wearing
diapers. He mentioned that he liked wearing the diapers enough that he'd stay
here every night to wear them if he could, just so he could wear them. That
fantasy, of course, would never happen, so he had to just borrow mine for the
time being.
By the time we returned to watch cartoons my mom had breakfast ready.
Every Saturday she would make us bacon, eggs, pancakes, quite a feast. It was a
nice change from the cereal and oatmeal we usually ate hastily before heading to
school. I also wet the diapers again while sitting at the table. I was wetting
in smaller amounts, but wetting more frequently since the night before. Of
course I drank more soda than I usually did, which contributed to the extra
wetting that I was doing.
As the morning turned to afternoon, we watched the other movie that mom
got us the night before. It was just Lisa, Tony, and I, since Cindy went
shopping with mom again and dad was gone snowmobiling with my uncle. Just as the
movie was ending, Tony's mom called to say she would be by soon to pick him up.
"Uh, can I have my pants now?" Tony asked Lisa.
"Sure, I'll get 'em." She got up and walked down the hallway. Several
minutes later she came out carrying them and said "I have to throw them in the
wash, they're dirty. I'll wash your pants too, Chris."
"You mean Cindy didn't wash them?"
"She must not have. She just put them away and left with mom. She didn't
tell me they needed to be washed. Besides, why does he need them? Doesn't he
like to be in just his diapers? It's not like he's going to school today, is
he?"
"His mom's coming by to pick him up, right now!"
"Oh, really? I guess now his mom can see how cute he looks in his diapers,
too!"
It was at that point Tony's mom pulled into the driveway and walked to the
front door. Kara, of course, was there, too.
Tony was still in diapers when Lisa opened the door. Tony's mom came in.
"Tony, are you ready-- Tony! Why are YOU wearing a diaper?"
"Look, mom! Now Tony's wearing a diaper, too!" shouted Kara. "He looks
funny!" she giggled.
Tony was caught wearing the diapers, sooner than he planned to get
"caught" intentionally. "I got diarrhea, and since Chris wears diapers, I
thought I'd borrow his," he explained to his mom.
"Oh? Is THAT why Chris has to wear them?" Tony's mom asked.
"Well, yeah, sort of," he responded. "His mom makes him wear them all the
time."
"With all the underwear you keep dirtying, Tony,," his mom said, "maybe
diapers wouldn't be such a bad idea. I've thought about it, but I didn't think
any other parent would do such a thing to their children, so I wasn't sure what
to do. Now I know exactly what to do, and I think I can finally resolve this
problem with you! We'll discuss it when we get home!"
Tony just sat there looking at his mom. I knew that he was excited by the
idea of getting put into diapers, too, but, like me, he wasn't so open about
letting it show.
"Where are your pants?" his mom asked.
"They're being washed," Tony answered. "They got dirty last night."
"How long will it be before your pants are clean?" Tony's mom asked.
"I just started them," said Lisa. "And they have to dry, too."
"Can't you borrow a pair of pants from Chris?"
"His are in the wash, too," Lisa added. "He only has one pair of pants."
"Well, I'd let you stay until they're done, but we have to leave right
away for your grandma's. You're just gonna have to go like that until we get
home! Let's go! Get your stuff!" Tony's mom commanded urgently.
"It's gonna be cold walking to the car," said Tony.
"The car is only a few feet from the front door, Tony. I think you'll
survive just fine," his mom replied.
Tony and I went into my room to get his stuff first. I gave him two more
diapers to carry in his bag. Tony put his shoes and socks on and got himself
ready to leave.
"I'll see you at school," I said. "Tell me what happens!"
"Okay. See ya!" said Tony as he walked out of my room.
I have to admit he looked silly wearing a diaper along with shoes and tube
socks that nearly went to his knees, plus the fact he was wearing his big, heavy
winter coat. Everything except his pants. It must have been so cold for him to
walk out to the car bare-legged, even if it was for only a few feet. I wish I
could have heard what his sister said about the diaper he was wearing.
"So, is Tony into wearing diapers now or what?" asked Lisa.
"He said he wanted to try wearing one, so I let him put one on."
"I know you like to wear them! I know mom and dad are doing it for
punishment, but I know you like wearing them."
I wanted to counter-attack and say "no I don't!" but I did, very much in
fact, like wearing them so much that I could have never said anything to the
contrary with any degree of conviction. Instead I just sat there silently.
"See? You're not arguing with me, so you like wearing them!" Once again
she had the upper hand and won this latest round of sibling rivalry.
Mom and Cindy came home later that afternoon. After they got settled down
mom went out to the laundry room, where mom discovered Lisa was behind on
washing my diapers.
"Lisa! You might want to get Chris' diapers washed!" she reminded her.
"They're piling up."
"Okay, mom!"
My mom then opened up the washing machine, which had completed its cycle
and stopped. She saw that my pants were in there along with Tony's pants and his
underwear.
"Why are Tony's pants in here?"
"They were dirty, mom. Tony said he pooped in them last night."
"Oh, that's right, he had an 'accident', didn't he?" she said
sarcastically. "It must be a boys thing," she resigned.
"You should have seen him when he left, mom," said Lisa. "He had his shoes
and his socks and his diaper! He had to walk out in the snow in his diaper!"
"Oh? Then Tony's mom must feel the same way as I do about his behavior!"
"She didn't want to wait for Tony's pants to get washed and dried, so she
made Tony leave in just his diaper!" Lisa commented.
I was due for my next change and had been for most of the day, but I
still had to wait a few more hours until evening rolled around. Since the
morning's changing I had wet in the diapers three times and I had also deposited
a large load of poop. It had only been a week since I was put into diapers, but
in that week, I noticed that I was starting to use the diapers more frequently
now. It used to be that I wouldn't go in the diapers any more often than I would
make a trip to the nearest toilet. Since I was no longer using a toilet, I no
longer had to hold anything in my system until a toilet was available to me.
Whenever I needed to go, I could just go at the onset of nature's call. Now, it
was like my toilet training was beginning to reverse itself simply because I was
adapting to conditions in which it was no longer necessary to retain anything in
my bladder or bowels anymore, which was the main purpose of my toilet training.
Now it didn't matter if I held it or not since it all went into the diaper no
matter what. All that work and all that frustration my parents went through was
all for naught as it was turning out.
I came to the realization that I was regressing back to where I was
developing an actual need for diapers again. While this sounded exciting to me--
regressing back to *needing* to wear diapers like a real baby does-- it also had
its downside. I used to try timing my wetting and my messing with when I
expected to be changed soon, and this worked adequately to minimize the rashes
that developed on my skin. Now, in the last couple days, I found myself not
holding my pee and poop back as much and dirtying up the diapers sooner,
requiring me to wait longer before the next change. This extra amount of time I
had to wear my diapers while being dirty and wet was causing my skin to develop
more rashes. Lisa and Cindy were only expected to change me two times a day, and
three if I really needed it. In the last two days, I really needed it.
Finally Lisa got her dinner finished up and changed the diaper which
contained a good load of pee, much of which was several hours old and smelled
worse than my usual dirty, wet diapers. Mixed in with the poopy mess, which was
also in my diapers for much of the day, the strong odor made both of us gag.
Several wipes and a good application of powder later, I was once again clean and
freshly diapered, for awhile anyway. I wet in the diaper again before going to
bed, but it wasn't a significant amount. The heavy, thick diapers absorbed it
and the diapers had a lot of capacity before reaching their limit.
As I went to bed later that night I was thinking about Tony. In fact, I
had a dream that night where Tony and were both sent to school in diapers, and
only diapers. We had to walk to the bus and go to class and do everything else
in our diapers. The funny thing was that nobody at school said anything about
it. But it was only a dream. Had we done such a thing in real life, the other
kids would have definitely said something about it.
SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 12, 1989
It was Sunday morning again. Like last Sunday, the weather had turned
cloudy and gloomy. It wasn't as cold, but still cold enough that it may snow,
and maybe, hopefully, cancel school this time! At least Cindy was already awake
and she retrieved the newspaper for the comics, so I wasn't subjected to having
to run out to the newspaper box in my diapers in the cold.
Just as Cindy settled down in the chair to read the comics, I asked her if
she could change my diapers.
"I wanna read the comics first, then I'll change you."
I had wet overnight. For three straight mornings now I was wet. Yesterday
morning I was wetter, but I still had a good load this morning. I sat by the
heat vent on the floor to get warmed up as I perused the Sunday ads. I was
looking for some ideas for Christmas presents to give to who I then thought was
Santa Claus. One ad in particular got my attention, but it wasn't for any toy I
was wanting. Instead, the ad showed an older toddler, most likely three years
old, wearing a disposable diaper. I thought of how he was probably being toilet
trained at his age and how I was going the opposite way he was presumably going.
The boy in the ad would probably not be wearing diapers much longer unless he
was as stubborn to toilet train as I was.
When Cindy finished the comics she had me go into my room for the change.
"Your almost as wet as yesterday, Chris!" she commented as she removed the
soaked diaper and set it aside as she prepared to wipe me dry. My skin was more
sensitive as the rash had progressed. I asked Cindy to be gentle with her
wiping, which she was. She treated the rash and then got me back into some
clean, dry diapers.
Unlike last Sunday, this week we went out for breakfast. Just as we got
ready to leave, mom handed me my pants. We got to the restaurant and had to
stand in a long line as the place was quite crowded. While standing in line I
wet again, probably the orange juice I drank earlier as it had been a couple
hours. We finally got our table. After ordering, we waited about thirty minutes
before our food was brought to us. My dad, the impatient man he is, griped and
complained about the long wait. This is the one thing I didn't like about eating
out with my family; my dad could never tolerate a wait of over ten minutes.
During the wait, I had to poop. Cindy and Lisa had to go, too, except, of
course, they needed to get up and go into the restroom, unlike me.
"Excuse us, mom," said Lisa, "we need to go to the bathroom." Mom got up
and let my sisters out of the booth.
"Chris, do you need to go to the, oh, that's right, you wear DIAPERS!"
Lisa said loudly. "Never mind! Ha ha!"
The crowded restaurant gave her another opportunity to embarrass me. She
said it loudly and clearly over the din of the other diners. People from several
nearby tables looked over at us.
"Lisa! Come on now!" said mom, scolding her.
"But, mom, he's being PUNISHED, so let's make the most of it for him!"
"You don't need to shout like that!"
"Sorry, mom."
"Hurry! The food oughtta be here any minute!" mom said, "I hope, anyway,"
she grumbled.
At about that time, I unloaded into the diapers. I managed to only wet
last night without having to poop, but now was the time to make use of my
diapers and fulfill their intended purpose, accent on the "fill" part of
"fulfill". I didn't have any trouble accomplishing that task. I had to sit there
in my spot for the entire time in messy, dirty diapers! I was having all this
fun while my sisters were having to use a toilet! It was punishment to my
parents, but to me, it was a privilege to wear diapers!
Just as my sisters got back from the restrooms, our food was brought out.
While our server was setting down our plates, Lisa said "Chris! They've got a
changing table in the bathroom! Do you need to be changed?" Again, this was
another chance for her to embarrass me. The waitress gave me a surprised look,
as if to be thinking "he's much too old for diapers!"
"Lisa!" scolded my mom. "I know you like to embarrass your brother, but
you're embarrassing ME, too! Now stop it!"
As we sat there and ate our meal, Lisa, sitting across from me, kept
staring at me with a scowl on her face, as if it were my fault that she got in
trouble for teasing me.
After we left the restaurant and got home, Cindy changed my diapers again
after telling her that I needed the change. As it was a fairly fresh load, my
poop was still quite wet and runny, and just as smelly as always. "You sure are
messing these diapers more now," she commented.
It looked like another boring Sunday afternoon ahead for me. The fact that
it was cloudy and gloomy outside didn't help things any. It was also turning a
lot colder as a big storm front was moving in. Just from being bored I became
tired and wanted to rest. I was feeling too lazy to even get up and go into my
room so I just lay down on the couch. Just as I got settled down, I was jolted
to alertness again by the sound of the doorbell. Betty showed up.
"Hi, Brenda! Hi, Robert!" she greeted my parents as she entered.
"Hi, Cindy!" She called everybody by their name, except me.
"Hi, Diaper-Butt!" she said to me. She hadn't called me "Chris" since Lisa
suggested the name to her. The "diaper-butt" name had gotten really old as Lisa
was slow to give it a rest. Even Cindy was getting sick of hearing it.
"Hey, Betty, I do have a real name," I told her.
"Of course you have a real name! You're 'Diaper-Butt!' That's a name,
isn't it?"
"Come on, Betty, let the 'Diaper-Butt' sleep; we've got that assignment to
do for tomorrow!"
Betty and Lisa spent most of the afternoon in their room, and actually
doing homework, Like Cindy, they each had a big assignment due the next day, so
I didn't see much of them even after I got up from my short slumber. I looked
outside and saw that the snow had significantly increased in intensity. The wind
was also blowing something fierce. It was a full-blown blizzard!
At that time a special news bulletin came on the TV. The local news
advised people to avoid driving and not to be outside as the wind chill was at -
40. Better news followed, schools were closed! This, naturally, delighted
everyone very much.
"I better call my mom and have her pick me up before the storm gets
worse," said Betty. After she got off the phone she said "my mom said I could
stay overnight if its okay. She doesn't want to go out in the snowstorm."
"Sure you can stay, Betty," said my dad. "It's just too stormy for anyone
to be out in this weather!" Betty then joined us for dinner as mom had it ready
at about that time.
To accommodate Lisa's friend Betty, my dad dragged out a cot for her to
sleep on, allowing it to warm up from the cold garage in which it had been
stored, along with the sleeping bag Tony used the night before.
"Dad," said Lisa as she saw him drag in the sleeping bag. "That's the bag
Tony slept in last night".
"Yeah, I know it is."
"Tony had diarrhea and he may have pooped in it!" said Lisa.
"He was wearing a diaper," I said to Lisa, "and he got up out of the bag
before he went, so he didn't poop in it".
"Oh, oh never mind, dad," Lisa said. "The bag's okay."
"What? Chris, did you say Tony was wearing a diaper?" dad asked me.
"Yeah, because he got diarrhea," I replied.
"Oh, I see," dad said as he sat down and opened up his magazine, saying no
more.
After Lisa finished helping mom with the dinner dishes she came up to me
and said "it's time to change some diapers around here!" It was about 7:30, a
little behind schedule as I was usually changed at 7:00.
"Hey, Betty, you wanna help me change?" Lisa asked her.
"Sure! I'll change Chris!" she said.
Betty was doing a pretty good job, though she struggled with the safety
pins. Lisa stopped to help her with them. I had eight pins in the rear, four in
the front as always, assuring that I would never be able to take my diapers off.
Even though school was cancelled, mom didn't want us up all night,
especially since there was a total of four children in the house. My parents
were both tired from the weekend and didn't want us all making a bunch of
racket. Right as the news started she told us all to go to bed.
DIAPER DESIRES: PART 16
-----------------------
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 13, 1989
Knowing it must have snowed all night, the first thing I did as I woke up
was to look outside in the back yard. Everything was heavily blanketed in snow.
It looked like it would be a lot of fun to play in. The problem I had was that I
couldn't go outside in diapers. I didn't think my mom was willing to temporarily
rescind my diaper punishment even long enough to let me play in the snow.
As I had wet my diapers quite heavily I was definitely in need of a
change. I went out to the living room where I expected to see the girls watching
The Price is Right as they liked to do in the summer. I liked watching it, too,
as it was about the only thing worth watching in the morning. Instead, the TV
was off and the living room was completely silent. I looked outside and saw
Lisa, Betty, and Cindy all frolicking around in the snow in the front yard. Dad
was at work, and mom was gone, too, but I didn't know where she went. I sat on
the couch and tuned in The Price is Right. Just getting to watch it on a morning
we'd otherwise be in school felt like quite a rare treat. Normally at this time
I'd be doing math problems or standing at the board with my bulging butt facing
the rest of the class.
The three girls came inside to warm up. Cindy told me she was ready to
change my diapers. I waddled into the room, feeling the wet diapers rubbing
against me as I walked. As she got the diapers off I could feel the cold draft
blowing on where I was wet. Cindy's hands were still wet and very cold from
handling the snow. The clean, dry diapers quickly warmed up the cold sensations
I felt while I was being changed.
We all sat down in front of the TV and watched the ending of the Price is
Right. The three girls watched as they were still getting themselves warmed up.
As it ended, Lisa said "we're going back outside! Wanna join us? Oh, I guess you
need your pants first?"
That would have been a good idea. As it turned out, Lisa was kidding.
"Too bad, I'm not giving them to you! Just think, you could go outside and
play if it weren't for the fact that all you have is DIAPERS to wear!"
While the girls got to play in the snow, I had to sit in the house. It was
disappointing to have this privilege of playing outside taken away simply
because I had no access to my pants and was therefore forced to stay inside all
the time. Mom came home later. The only thing on TV was either soap operas or
talk shows, neither of which interested me.
I went up to mom and asked her if I have my pants just so I could play
outside.
"Now, Chris," she said. "You do realize that you are being punished, and
getting your privileges taken away is part of your punishment."
"Aww, mom. Just for a few minutes?"
"No, Chris. You are to stay in your diapers and only your diapers. You can
invite Tony over if you want, but I'm not letting you go outside."
I was really bored, wishing that I could play in the snow, even for five
minutes.
"Please, mom?" I asked her one more time.
"No! End of discussion!"
Sitting around and bored as ever, I watched the girls build a snowman and
have a snowball fight. It was one of the best winters we had in a long time and
I would not get to enjoy it. A few minutes later the doorbell rang. It was Tony.
"Hi, Tony! What's up?"
"Mom got me my own diapers today, so I can give yours back now."
"Oh, okay."
"I also need to get my pants that I left here Saturday."
Mom walked into the washroom and grabbed them for Tony and handed them to
him. Tony then pulled out the three diapers he had in his bag (the one he was
originally wearing and the two I let him borrow.)
"Why are you bringing his diapers back, Tony?" my mom asked him.
"My mom got me my own diapers," he said, so I'm letting Chris have his
back.
"Oh, okay. Just set them on the table. I'm sure Chris will need them soon.
By the way, Chris, do you need to be changed?" she asked.
"No mom. I'm fine," I answered.
"Bye Chris," said Tony.
"Where are you going?" I asked him.
"Back home. My mom doesn't want me to stay long today," he said.
"Okay, I'll see you in school then."
Just as he left, mom asked him to stay for just a few minutes since she
had some hot chocolate ready for us.
"Okay, but I can't stay too long," he said.
Tony and I sat at the kitchen table sipping away at the hot chocolate that
mom served us.
"Can you stay for even a few more minutes?" I asked him.
"Well, I shouldn't, and I'll probably get in trouble, but yeah, I'll
stay."
"Let's go to my room," I said as we finished up the hot chocolate.
As Tony was walking, I could hardly notice he even had a diaper on. I did
hear the tell-tale crinkling sound, although it wasn't any louder than the way
my diapers sounded with their plastic pants.
Tony then pulled his pants down to show me his diapers. They were
disposables. They weren't as thick as mine, but they were definitely diapers,
and designed to serve their intended purpose. I asked him how it all happened.
"My mom told me that if I wanted to wear them, fine, but I have to do my
own changes. She also said that I either have to use only diapers or only the
toilet. She wanted me to make a decision right there and then."
"And you went with diapers of course," I commented.
"Oh yeah. We went to a store and she got me a whole bunch of diapers, and
if I use the toilet even once, that's it! No more diapers."
"What about school?"
"I have to wear them to school, too. It was either all diapers or no
diapers."
Tony then pulled his pants back up over the diaper. At first glance it was
hard to tell that he had a diaper on. He also walked around in them. They did
make some crinkling, but nothing louder than what my plastic pants did when I
walked.
While I enjoyed wearing my cotton diapers with plastic pants, I also liked
looking at his disposables as they resembled the disposables that I had seen on
most babies and smaller children on hot days whenever Tony and I rode our
bicycles through the city park. Between the two, however, my diapers looked like
they were better as they were much thicker.
The one thing that the disposables would be good for was for me to wear
them to school. At least they wouldn't be so thick that I'd have to wear pants
in a much larger size just so they would fit. I could also take them to school
and change them instead of having to go an entire day in wet or messy diapers.
The only problem was that I wasn't allowed to change them. While Cindy attended
the same school, I certainly didn't want her to change me there, and she
probably would have felt the same as I did about such a proposition.
I was reaching a point where I was wetting and messing my diapers
frequently enough that I was needing to be changed more often, and going for
most of the day without a change was no longer adequate. I hoped to address the
issue with my parents. Even if they never stopped having me wear diapers, they
would at least want my skin to be healthy.
Then an idea came to me. It was very well established at this point that I
would have to wear diapers to school, so there was absolutely no point in trying
to get out of it, as I had learned from previous attempts to do so. What I was
thinking was that I could wear the disposable diapers to school instead. I hoped
that I could at least bring it up to my mom and dad without getting the usual
lecture on how I have no say in this matter.
After a few minutes Tony said "I gotta go. My mom's probably wondering
where I'm at."
"Okay. See you at school tomorrow," I told him as he left.
The girls all came inside a few minutes later. They were all wet from the
snow. A few minutes later mom made us all lunch, soup and sandwiches. The four
of us gathered around the table as we slurped the soup and ate the peanut butter
& jelly and bologna sandwiches that were served to us.
"You're missing out on a lot of good snow, Chris!" Cindy commented.
"Yeah, too bad you have to stay inside in your diapers all day!" Lisa
added.
I just sat there, thinking about some of the sacrifices I was making by
getting myself put into diapers. I thought about the following summer, if I'd
ever be allowed outside to ride my bike or go swimming, or to even play in the
backyard. As things had turned out, being made to wear diapers came with some
trade-offs. Betty then started in on me.
"So, Chris," she started as she slurped some soup. With her mouth still
half full, she asked "do you like wearing diapers?"
"Oh, Betty!" Lisa interrupted, jabbing her lightly with her elbow. "Don't
embarrass him!"
"I just asked him if liked wearing diapers".
"Of course he does, Betty! He just doesn't want to tell us that, right
Chris?"
I couldn't say "no" since I could never force myself to say it, even if to
thwart off such taunting and teasing.
"He would have tried taking them off by now if he didn't like wearing
them!" went Lisa.
"Yeah, but what would he have to wear if he did that?" added Cindy. "He
has no underwear anymore, and he can't get to his pants!"
Quickly I became tired of hearing them tease me like that. I had just been
through this with the girls two days ago! "You like wearing them Chris! You like
wearing them Chris!" Finally, I said "Okay, I like wearing them! Is that what
you want to hear?!"
"Actually, yes, Chris!" said Lisa. " We knew you like wearing them anyway,
we just wanted to hear you say it!"
I hoped they were satisfied to finally hear me say it. I hoped they would
leave me alone from here on out. I finished my lunch and went into my room.
I went on for the rest of the afternoon, playing indoors with various toys
and puzzles. Most of the day the weather had remained cloudy and cold, but with
no more snow. Lisa had gone over to Betty's while Cindy came indoors and spent
most of the afternoon in her room. Much of the evening passed as it did on any
night.
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 1989
It was Tuesday morning. I hoped that it would have snowed all night so
that school would be cancelled another day, but that wasn't the case as I was
back to my morning routine of getting my diapers changed, eating breakfast,
brushing my teeth, getting dressed and heading for the bus.
There was no new snowfall that I could see, but it was a very cold
morning. That initial blast of heat that I felt upon getting on the bus felt so
good after standing out in the cold for what seemed like forever. The bus was
running a few minutes behind schedule.
Along with my other daily routines, I sat next to Tony.
"Are you sure you can go around school with what you're wearing?" I asked
him, being careful not to say the word "diaper".
"You can't tell I have them on, can you?" he asked.
"Not unless you're look close enough. They also make noises when you walk.
If anybody finds out, they'll tease you like they did me."
"I just hope they don't," he said.
Even at the risk of other kids finding out, Tony apparently wanted to wear
diapers enough to take such a risk. I figured that most parents think of diaper
wearing as a full-time activity. Any kid who wears them at home has to wear them
at school and everywhere else he goes, too, at least that's what my mom and
Tony's mom thought.
After class let out for the for recess I went to our established meeting
place on the playground. Tony was usually there waiting for me as his classroom
was closer to the main exit. I walked around for about three minutes before he
showed up.
"Chris! Chris!" he was shouting as he was running.
"Where were you?" I asked.
He went into his hushed voice. "I had to go get changed by the school
nurse."
"Oh? I thought you said you change them yourself," I said in somewhat of a
surprise.
"I could, but I'd have to throw it in the trash in the bathroom and
there's always other kids in there and they'd see me carrying the dirty one to
the trash."
He told me more about it as we walked to a sparsely occupied area of the
playground, which allowed us to talk a little more openly.
"You know who was also in there getting changed?"
"Who?" I asked curiously.
"Mark Stillwood, you know him?"
"Isn't he that one kid that always wears a big shirt over his pants all
the time?"
"That's him. Now I know why he wears those big shirts. There was another
kid who looked like a first-grader. I don't know if he was there for a diaper
change, but he wasn't crying and he didn't look sick or hurt or anything. You
never know, Chris. There may be more of us in the school than you think."
I hadn't seen much of Mark, but I had a feeling he wore some not-so-
inconspicuous diapers like I did. He was a shy kid who avoided a lot of people.
I tried talking to him once, but he didn't say much, so I left him alone as most
of the other kids had done.
I decided that on the lunch recess I'd go in and talk to the school nurse
to see if she could start changing me during the day. Going around all day in a
messy diaper in school wasn't the same as doing it at home, knowing all the
other kids are around me at school. My skin was also becoming irritated from
having to wait until after school to get changed each day. Neither Cindy nor
Lisa was applying the powder and the rash cream as much as I needed.
I told Tony what I was wanting to do. He said that was fine, whatever I
wanted to do. I joined Tony for lunch as I always did, but instead of going back
out to the playground he and I both headed to the nurse. Tony said he didn't
need a change but was just going along with me. He waited outside in the hallway
while I went in.
I felt nervous and awkward as I thought about what I was about to ask.
Right inside the door was a friendly-looking lady. I asked her if I could see
the nurse.
"Yes, I am the nurse. Is there something I can help you with?"
"Umm, well, yes. Is it okay, if I start, if I come in, and have you,
change my, my diapers?" I asked, pausing between my words.
"Oh yes, of course. I do it all the time, there's no need to be afraid to
ask." She was very open and comforting to talk to.
"If you don't mind me asking, what kind of diapers do you wear?" she asked
me. I could tell that she was looking down at my pants and taking note of the
huge bulge beneath them.
"Well, um, they're cotton and I have to wear plastic pants with them."
"Okay, I can change your diapers, but you'll have to start wearing
disposables. We don't have a place here to keep dirty diapers. All we have is
the trash for disposables. I also have to work fast since sometimes I get
several kids in here and disposables are faster for me to change." She also
informed me that I would need a signed note from my mom (parent or guardian as
she told me) so that she could be authorized to change my diapers every day.
All afternoon I thought about what I would have to tell my mom. I also
thought about how wearing disposables would be different from wearing the cotton
diapers, which were comparatively much bulkier than what Tony showed me the day
before. Later, as I came in the door, mom was mopping the kitchen floor. I
tossed my coat on the couch and removed my shoes, a daily after-school routine I
performed without thinking about it from having done it so much. Taking off my
pants and stripping to my diapers every day was also now part of that routine.
"Oh, hi Chris. How was school today?"
"Oh, it was okay."
Mom seemed to be in a good mood so I thought it was a good time to tell
her. Thinking about the kind of response I'd get, however, made me hesitate to
bring up my suggestion about wearing disposables to school. I just stood there
and watched mom toil laboriously to get the kitchen floor clean. She stopped and
looked over at me.
"Is there something I can get for you, Chris?"
Thinking quickly, I told her I was hungry and wanted a snack, which I was.
Mom leaned her mop up in the corner and washed her hands as she asked me what
I'd like.
"I'd like some ice cream," I said.
"Now, I'll have dinner ready soon, so I don't want you to spoil your
appetite. How about some crackers instead?"
"Okay," I agreed.
Mom gave me a handful of crackers. As I sat there munching them with some
milk, I decided that I should go ahead and mention to her what I wanted to do.
"Mom, I need to tell you something."
"Yes, go ahead," said mom as she pulled up the chair opposite from me.
"What is it, dear?"
"I know you want me to go to school in diapers," I started.
"Yes, yes, and...," mom said, prompting me to continue.
"Well, I'm getting rashes."
"Oh? Are Cindy and Lisa putting anything on you?"
"They put the powder on and the other stuff when I need it, but I don't
think it's enough. You see, I talked to the school nurse, and she said she could
change me at school."
"Do you think you need to be changed more often?" she asked.
"Well, yes. I'm, uh, I'm starting to use them more". I felt embarrassed to
explain this, but I had to. "I don't have to hold it anymore since I don't have
to wait until I get to a toilet."
"Well, if you need to have the nurse change you, then have her change you.
I'll just have you take a couple extra diapers to school."
"She can only change me if I wear disposables."
"Oh? Why?"
"She said that they don't have a place to keep everyone's dirty diapers
and they have to wear disposables so they can throw them away instead."
"Hmm, I see. Well, we didn't want you to wear disposables because we
didn't want to have to keep buying them. We also felt that you could take off a
disposable diaper more easily and we didn't want you taking them off at school,
which you've done anyway, but that's beside the point now. Your dad and I
decided we could spend the same amount of money on diapers that could be re-
washed and used again, but, if you have to start wearing them to school, then
I'll have to buy you some for you. I'll see what your father says about it when
he gets home."
By that time my diaper was wet and had been wet for awhile before Lisa
finally came out from her room and told me to "get your butt in there so I can
clean it up!" She was pleasantly surprised that I was only wet this time. I
usually had a dirty diaper by this time of day, but I didn't poop until later in
the evening. On the other hand, as I told mom, I was wetting more frequently,
quite often at the threshold of the sensation of needing to pee.
We ate dinner together as we did every evening. I had finished up my plate
and got ice cream afterwards for dessert. I ran off and started a game on the
Nintendo. Just as I was on the sixth level with four lives remaining-- my best
game yet on this one-- dad called me into the kitchen. I paused the game and
then went in to join him with my mom at the kitchen table.
"Your mother tells me that you need to wear disposables to school now.,"
he began.
"Yes, dad."
"I hope you have a real reason for this, Chris. We didn't want you taking
the diapers off in school, and a disposable is easier to take off than a cotton
diaper with those tight velcro fasteners and plastic pants. But you say that
you're getting rashes from having to go unchanged for so long."
"Yes, I am dad. You can even look if you want."
"No, that's okay, Chris. We'll let you wear disposables to school if you
have to wear them. Your mom will buy you some tomorrow."
This sounded good. I could get changed when I needed to, and hopefully--
for the sake of having my peers seeing me-- the disposables wouldn't be so bulky
that I'd have to wear such big-- not to mention unstylish-- pants.
"But--," dad continued, "you will still wear the cotton diapers and
plastic pants at home and everywhere else you go, and everything else we
discussed still applies. We'd rather you use the cotton diapers at home so that
we don't have to keep buying disposables. And remember, too, Chris, this is
punishment and we really think the cotton diapers do a better job for
punishment." I was then excused from the table and allowed to return to my game.
It was a victorious night. I beat my high score, which also beat Cindy's
and I reached the ninth level, of which I held the sole distinction of having
played by anyone in the house.
In another way this was a victorious night. I actually had a say in the
matter concerning my diapers after being told that I was to be subjected to
whatever my mom and dad chose to do. I don't think they would have opted for the
change if it weren't for the fact that the school required that diapered kids
wear them to have them changed by the school nurse.
Speaking of change, I was in need of another one just before I went to
bed. All the excitement in the eighth round of my game caused me to wet again. I
also messed in them shortly afterwards. Since Lisa already changed me once, she
handed the job over to Cindy. As she was pulling off the diapers, reeking very
intensely of a large pooping, I rubbed it in that I beat her high score. All she
said is "Yeah, but I still change your diapers, Chris." Just the fact that she
changed my diapers gave her such a feeling of superiority over me, in addition
to the fact that she was my big sister, one of two big sisters.
My butt was such a mess tonight. My poop was soft and sticky, but not
runny. Cindy spent extra time getting me cleaned and wiped, powdered and
diapered. As long as she spent down there, rubbing the wipes every which way
desperately trying to get all of the mess off of me, she finally got it. While
she was putting the diapers on she said "so you're gonna wear disposables to
school now?"
"I have to. That's what the nurse said."
"It'll be easier for me now. All I have to do is put your diaper on, no
plastic pants. I think I can handle that". She slid on the large plastic pants
and patted me on the bottom, saying "I don't think you've ever been so hard to
clean up before, Chris!" I was soon asleep in my bed, anticipating the next day
at school.
DIAPER DESIRES: PART 17
-----------------------
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 1989
Cindy had the pleasure of changing my messy diapers that morning. I would
have thought that after the messy diaper I produced for Cindy last night that I
wouldn't have to go again for awhile. I remember at about 4:00 in the morning I
had to mess another diaper. As she wasn't feeling well that morning, the smell
of my stinky diapers didn't appeal to her very well; in fact, she ran right into
the bathroom and threw up because her stomach was so weak. Mom decided that she
should stay home, so I waited at the bus stop on my own.
As I sat there riding the bus, I had a feeling that this would be "one of
those days," as if, somehow, I could tell that something would go wrong. I don't
know what could have been worse than messing my pants in class. I had so many
other things to deal with in school. Megan and Tracy were always teasing me, and
then there was Sean, who I hadn't heard from in awhile, but was due to strike
again soon. I also hoped that this would be my last day at school in the
thicker, bulkier cotton diapers and that tomorrow I would be wearing disposables
and have them changed by the nurse.
It was like most any school day so far, just the usual lessons, though
Mrs. Buxley seemed to be trying to make up for yesterday's lost day by making us
do bigger assignments and rushing through her lesson plan. She was also
grouchier than usual.
I met up with Tony and followed him to the nurse's office where I waited
out in the hall while he got changed. While I was standing there Sean walked by.
"You're such a wussy, Chris!" is all he said as he sneered at me while walking
along with his equally antagonistic friends. I saw them harass another kid who
was coming up the hall towards me. I couldn't tell who it was they harassed
until he got closer. It turned out to be Mark Stillwood, a likely target of
Sean. While he bullied a lot of people, I seemed to be one of his personal
favorites, in which I resented having such a distinction. Mark walked straight
into the nurse's office as I expected him to, after having been told that he was
a diaper-wearer. He had a distressed look on his face, but I couldn't tell
whether it was from having been bullied by Sean and company, or if it was
because he was in desperate need of a diaper change; perhaps it was both of the
reasons.
Tony came out a few minutes later and we spent the remaining ten minutes
of recess walking around and trying to keep warm in the bitter cold weather. I
asked Tony what it was like to get his diaper changed in there.
"There really isn't much to it," he described. "You just lie down on the
table and she pulls your pants down-- not all the way off, just enough to get to
your diaper--and then she slides the dirty diaper out from under your butt and
then she cleans you and puts another diaper back on. Kind of like what your
sisters do, but she doesn't tease you about it."
"I hope she won't tease me!" I said. "She was very nice when I talked to
her."
"She doesn't really say all that much, she just goes through with it, and
she's really fast with it, too! Your sisters would never make it here in the
school!"
"Yes, but they have to take these plastic pants off and that takes
longer."
"When is your mom getting you some disposables?" Tony asked.
"I think today after school we're getting some," I told him.
"I was going to come over to your house after school, but I didn't know
you'd be leaving."
"You could probably come with us if you want," I offered.
"Okay. My mom has to take Kara to the dentist again and she said I could
come over after school instead of going with them." The bell rang and everyone
promptly returned to class. If nothing else, the classroom was certainly a lot
warmer.
There wasn't much of anything in today's mid-morning lesson. All we did
was continued yesterday's math lesson. Megan turned around every few minutes and
stuck her tongue out at me, just to be annoying. I did my best to ignore her,
but I could still see her in my peripheral vision as I tried to do the
assignment we were given. Just as I finished the assignment I dumped into the
diaper. It was only a small amount, but soft and squishy. I hoped that I
wouldn't need to go much more since it would be awhile before I would be changed
again. That just wasn't the case as I had another loose BM, as if I didn't
finish pooping earlier. I seemed to be pooping quite a bit more since the night
before. It wasn't diarrhea, just a lot of sticky, smelly poop which seemed to be
produced in small amounts. I was wearing two thick diapers and plastic pants, so
I wasn't too worried about leaks. The problem I was having was that having to go
so long without a change was giving me a rash, even with the powder and other
treatments that were applied to my bottom. Fortunately, that was to change soon.
It was lunch hour, and as usual, Megan and Tracy made their appearance
before Tony and I. "Oh hi guys!" said Megan, acting so friendly and sickeningly
sweet that it wasn't even sincere, and wasn't meant to be sincere. We just said
"hi" and went on our way. We ran into each other again during the recess, and
she said "Hi!" again in the same way. She promised not to say anything about
diapers anymore, and she was sticking to her promise so far, but that's not to
say she wasn't annoying us.
Unfortunately, Megan and Tracy turned out to be the least of my problems
that day. Just as I was afraid of, Sean came over to our side of the playground
where only first, second, and third graders were allowed; the older kids had
their own designated area to play in. Sean and his best friend came up to Tony
and I as we were sitting idle on the swings. They both came up right behind us
and shoved us off of the swings.
"Get off the swings, you BABIES!" Sean started. As I was lying on the
ground trying to get up, Sean kicked snow in my face and said "I don't like
babies!"
"Don't call me a baby!" I protested as I got back up again.
"Why not! You're wearing diapers, so you're a BABY! Chris is a ba-by!
Chris is a ba-by! I'll bet you've shitted up your diaper, too, and you need your
mommy to come change you!"
He imposed his intimidating and threatening stance on me. I felt my
defenses dissolve into complete cowardice. He continued badgering me with his
cruel and bruising remarks.
"You're mommy's not here to protect you! Oh gee, what is baby Chrissy
gonna do?"
Sean's friend tried to get Tony, but Tony managed to get away before he
got pinned to the ground. He was being chased all over the playground while he
was threatened by the other kid. I was now shoved up against the fence behind
the swings.
I wanted to cry, but my anger built up to help me regain my defenses
somewhat. I was so mad at Sean I hit him in the chest. "Sean! Knock it off!"
This didn't resolve anything as Sean hit me back and then pushed me to the
ground. I took leave of my senses and realized that this was a big, husky sixth-
grader that I just slugged! And he was a very hostile sixth-grader, too!
"Listen, you sackful of shit! I'm gonna kill you just for hitting me!" Now
I was crying. I was trying not to cry, but I was so helpless and could do
nothing to stem the tide of Sean's spiteful wrath.
"Oh, you even cry like a baby! I really hate crying babies!" Then he spat
in my face! Now I felt very threatened! Sean was much bigger and stronger than
I, and since I was in such a helpless position, he was ready to clobber me. He
aimed his fist at my stomach, but as I turned to my side, he ended up slugging
me in the ribs, then he spat in my face again and threw snow on me! I got back
up and started to charge back at him in defense, but he pushed me away. "Don't
fight back, Chrissy!" he shouted. "Babies don't fight!" I was bawling
helplessly. Where was the teacher on duty? I needed help! I still managed to
throw another punch in his face. It only fueled his fiery rage towards me even
more, but I got some gratification in knowing I inflicted some pain on him, even
if it was only a minor, fleeting pain that probably didn't even faze him.
Before he could knock me back down I ran away, hoping to find a teacher.
Sean was right behind me chasing me. "I'm gonna get you!" he shouted. Just as I
was running I saw Tony with one of the teachers on duty-- and a very stern-faced
Mr. Jenkins. Sean ran right into Mr. Jenkins, who immediately grabbed him and
dragged him away to the office. Sean tried to get away from Mr. Jenkins' tight
grip. He was fighting Mr. Jenkins with so much aggression that another teacher
had to help Mr. Jenkins carry him off to the office. Sean kept kicking and
shouting obscenities as he struggled to get away from the tight hold on him.
"Let go of me, you son-of-a-bitch!" he shouted as he struggled to break free. It
seemed that everyone on the entire playground gathered to watch.
In the meantime I was escorted to the nurse's office where I needed to go
to get a few abrasions on my face treated, not to mention that I was quite
shaken by the incident and was not able to return to class right away.
I rested in the nurse's office while the nurse called my mom and reported
the incident. I told the nurse that I would go back to class and my mom didn't
need to pick me up. I didn't anticipate my first visit to see the nurse to be
like this; I expected a diaper change tomorrow instead. She applied gentle care
to the small, yet still painful injuries to my skin. I hoped that she would be
just as gentle with cleaning me up during a diaper change.
I felt embarrassed to walk into the classroom with my face scraped up. I
then wished I had gone home instead. Everyone was staring at me as I walked to
my seat. As I sat down, Theresa, the girl in front of me showed me what we were
doing and directed me to the book we were in and the page we were on.
Mrs. Buxley said I could stay inside during the afternoon recess if I
wanted to, which I did. I just sat at my desk, feeling the pain in my side from
when Sean hit me there. About ten minutes later Tony came to the door. "There
you are, Chris!" he exclaimed. "Can I come in, Mrs. Buxley?" he asked my teacher
politely.
"Are you here to see Chris?"
"Yes, ma'am. I'm his best friend," he said.
"Oh yes, you're Tony. Go ahead, come in," she said.
She let Tony come into the classroom. He took the empty seat across the
row from me.
"Wow, Sean really got you, didn't he?"
"Yeah, but I'm okay," I said.
"Are you sure?"
"My side hurts; he hit me there."
"You have some scratches on your face," he said.
"Yeah, they're hurting, too," I said. "I'm glad I got away from him. He
was ready to kill me!"
"You should have seen what happened!" Tony said. "Mr. Jenkins and Mr.
Lawrence both carried him to the office! He kept kicking them and trying to get
away! I think he's getting kicked out of school this time! For good!"
"I hope he is!"
Only about two minutes remained in the recess, all of which was spent
talking about Sean's attack on me. After the bell rang, Tony got up. "There's
the bell," he said, "I'll see you on the bus."
As everyone filed back into their seats, some of them came up to me to
express their condolences. I didn't know how sincere they were about it, though.
About all they said is "are you okay, Chris?". I just said "I'm fine". After the
class was settled Mrs. Buxley resumed her lessons. I tried to concentrate on the
lesson, but I was still thinking about what happened on the playground during
lunch. It was a long afternoon as I waited for the last few minutes of class to
elapse. The final dismissal bell rang and I headed immediately for the bus.
As I walked out to the bus I heard a lot of the kids around me talking
about today's spectacle. "Did you see Sean get hauled off by the principal?"
"You should have seen Chris, he even hit Sean!" "I have to feel sorry for Chris,
he's really not a bad kid," said a girl. Tony was already on the bus as I walked
back to where he was sitting and joined him. I was feeling a little better, but
I knew it would be a long time before I could forget what Sean did to me, at
least put it completely out of my mind.
Tony and I both went into my house. Mom had been called about the
situation and was aware of what happened. She would have been in total surprise
had she not known what happened.
"Oh, Chris, I'm sorry to hear what happened today," she said, hugging me
and comforting me. "Did he hurt you?" she asked. At the outset it seemed like a
dumb question-- of course he hurt me!-- but she was concerned and wanted to know
how I was feeling.
"He hit me in the side and he spat on me, and..." I started crying as I
had to recount the incident.
"Oh, Chris, it's okay. The principal called and told me that Sean will be
expelled from school for the rest of the year. If you want we can go get your
disposable diapers later if you need to rest."
"I'll be okay, mom. We can do it now."
"Okay, and what is Tony doing?" , she asked.
"My mom had to take my sister to the dentist this afternoon so I came home
with Chris," he said.
"Oh, okay. I guess you can come with us," my mom told him.
Lisa, who had already been home, said "can I come, too? I wanna see if my
pictures are ready!"
"I think you should stay and help Cindy, Lisa. She's been sick all day and
lying in bed. I'll get your pictures for you, okay?"
"Okay," Lisa moaned. "I just wanted to look at them before anyone else
did."
"I'll just pick them up. I won't look at them before I give them to you,"
mom promised.
"Oh, do you need a diaper change, Chris?" mom asked me.
"Yes, I do," I said.
"Lisa, can you change Chris before we leave?"
"Now? I thought I didn't have to change him until later!" she said.
"He has a rash and he needs to be changed more often," mom replied.
"Awww, Chwis has a rwash? Poorw ba-by!" Lisa commented. "That wouldn't be
DIAPER rash, now would it, Chris?" She just didn't know when to stop.
"Lisa, seriously, he needs to be changed more," said mom. "You change him
most of the time, you should know that he's had a rash."
"How can I tell? He's always got poop all over his butt!" Lisa said.
"I underestimated the frequency of his wettings and bowel movements; he's
been going in them more often than I thought he would. I guess when you wear
diapers, there's no need to hold it anymore and you can go as you please, right
Chris?"
"Uh, yeah," I said as felt some embarrassment over mom's explicit
description of the frequency in which I used the diapers.
Lisa followed me into my room, ready to do her daily duty. She was
chuckling.
"What's so funny, Lisa?"
"What mom said, 'when you wear diapers, there's no need to hold it!'
That's funny! But you know, mom's right. Those of us who use toilets have to
hold it until we find a place to go, but not you, Chris. No, you're lucky! You
can go to the bathroom anywhere you want!"
I could tell she was being sarcastic again. As I was lying there on my
pad, Lisa removed the pins and slid her hands along my sides to get a grip on
the plastic pants. As she ran her hand along my left side, I winced as the pain
in that area temporarily intensified. "Aaaiiigh! Be careful!" I exclaimed.
"Oh, sorry," she apologized. "Did he hit you there?"
"Yes, it's still sore."
"Okay, I'll be careful there," she said, "until it heals anyway.," she
added with a smirk. She finished my diaper and handed my pants back as I was
going to be leaving. Tony and my mom were out in the car getting it warmed up.
"I wish I could go along and see what kind of diapers mom is getting you!"
Lisa said as I headed out the door. I joined mom and Tony in the car as we
headed into town.
DIAPER DESIRES: PART 18
-----------------------
Mom, Tony and I all went to the place where mom was planning to buy the
disposable diapers. It wasn't until today that I learned where mom bought the
cotton velcro diapers that I have been wearing. I was thinking that it would be
the hospital or a medical supply store. Instead, it was the place where mom
liked to do most of her clothes shopping for us kids, Kidz Klothez.
It surprised me that this was the place mom was getting my diapers, but
then, mom knew the store well, too. I was familiar enough with the store, having
been there many times before. The only thing that was different about this visit
was that we didn't stop in the boys' wear section, but instead walked past it
and went straight to the back of the store. There was a service counter in the
back where special orders, returns and exchanges were handled. There was also
another service that the store offered but didn't prominently display on the
racks or the shelves-- they also sold diapers for older children, both cotton
and disposable diapers. Tony and I leaned up against the wall opposite from the
service counter while mom was up there to get me my diapers. We stood there as
we listened and watched.
"May I help you today?" asked the lady at the counter.
Mom, without any hesitation, said "I need to get some diapers, please."
"And these for an older child?" the lady asked as if to assume that the
diapers were for an older child as opposed to diapers for a baby. Baby diapers,
incidentally, were stocked on the shelves in the baby department.
"Yes, they're for an eight-year old boy," my mom answered. The lady didn't
show any surprise on her face. It was as if this were a routine inquiry that she
was used to hearing daily.
"What size, ma'am?" the lady asked.
"Medium," said mom.
"Do you need cotton or disposables?"
"Disposables, please."
"Do you need regular, extra absorbent or super absorbent?"
"Super absorbent," mom said. While I liked the idea that I'd get to wear
the thickest ones available, I had to remember that these were for wearing to
school. I just hoped that they wouldn't be as conspicuous as the cotton diapers
I had on.
"Okay," said the lady. "The super absorbent diapers are quite thick and
you may need to get your child some bigger pants". This part sounded like it was
a suggestive sale for the store. Certainly the disposables weren't as thick as
the cotton diapers, or were they?
"Do you have a sample I could look at?" mom requested.
"Sure, one moment."
I just stood there and waited for the lady to bring out a sample of one of
the diapers that I would be wearing to school. About a minute later she handed
my mom one of the diapers. Mom unfolded it and examined it. I got a fairly good
view of it. It was just like a baby's diaper, but bigger. It was also quite
thick, but not as thick as one of my cotton diapers. It was certainly thicker
than the diaper that Tony showed me as he was wearing it., so I assumed his were
only the "regular" diapers. It looked it would be just as fun to wear as my
cotton diapers, except for the fact that I would be going to school in them.
I looked at Tony and asked him "your diapers aren't that thick are they?"
"No, they're not," he said. "Mine are just regular."
"Great, I'll take these!" said mom.
"Okay, do you want just plain white?" offered the lady. "We also have
different colors, different prints..."
"Just white will be fine," mom said.
"And how many will you need? They come in packages of twenty."
"I'll take three packages for now."
Just as we were getting ready to leave and mom was paying for her purchase
I saw a boy and, presumably, his mom step up to the service counter. The boy
looked like he was ten, maybe eleven. He was certainly older than Tony and I. I
could see that the boy was also wearing diapers underneath his pants as they
also bulged outward. There was one other lady at the desk helping the boy's
mother. She just said "I need some large size cotton super absorbent velcro
diapers in white, please." She got all of the different specifications out in
one sentence, as if she had made such a purchase many times in the past. Now I
knew that Tony and I were not the only older kids in this town in diapers. The
fact that such diapers had to be ordered discreetly indicated that we were still
among a small minority; otherwise the diapers would be right out on the shelves
with the rest of the clothing.
We then walked away with mom carrying a large sack with three packs of the
diapers. Just before we left the store mom picked up a pair of pants that would
fit over the relatively thinner disposable diapers. I was very glad to see that
mom picked out a brand that was at least respected unlike the ones I had been
wearing before. We left the store and stopped off for ice cream on the way home.
We had one more stop to make, to get Lisa's pictures as mom promised she would
do for her. Mom went into the supermarket and let Tony and I wait in the car.
While mom was in the store I looked into the bag to see what the diapers looked
like. The blue package looked a lot like a package of baby diapers, like
something off of the supermarket shelf, except for it didn't have a picture of a
baby on it. It did, however, have a line-art drawing of a boy wearing a diaper,
and above the drawing it said "disposable diapers for boys" and below that it
said "super absorbent, extra thick". I wanted to tear into one of the packages
and look at one of the diapers, but I knew I would get a chance to see them up
close before too long.
Tony and I just sat there in the car, both of us looking at the package.
"Is this the kind your mom has you wear?" I asked.
"Yeah, same brand, but I wish mine were as thick as these!"
"Maybe you can sneak one home with you," I suggested.
"Yeah, next time I stay over I'll get one from you."
Mom returned to the car shortly afterwards, carrying a small sack which
had Lisa's pictures in them. I asked mom if I could see the pictures, since I
knew what pictures were in there, but mom said that she wouldn't look at them
before Lisa did and likewise wouldn't allow me to look at them either.
It was about 4:30 before we got home. Just as mom opened the door Lisa
came out running. "Did you get my pictures? Did you get my pictures?" Lisa was
asking, very eager to see them.
"Yes, Lisa, hold on," said mom as she set down the large sack of the
disposable diapers, and then handed Lisa her long- awaited photographs, which
included the three that she got of me in my diapers a few nights ago.
Lisa stood there looking through each one of them. She got about halfway
through them and then started laughing. "Yes! This one turned out perfectly!" I
walked over there to see what I thought she was looking at. She then turned away
and said "wait your turn, Chris!" She then walked off to her room, going through
them, looking at the next two, which were also, as I recalled, pictures that she
had taken of me in my diapers. She knocked on the door. "Cindy! You've gotta see
these!" she exclaimed. Mom then quickly marched down the hall towards Lisa.
"Shhh! Cindy's probably trying to rest in there, Lisa!" said mom. Mom then
reminded me to get my pants off as I was not going to be leaving the house
again.
Since Cindy was still asleep, Lisa decided to first show Tony and I the
pictures instead. She quickly skipped through the first few pictures that she
had taken of everyone in their Halloween costumes and then stopped at the first
of the three pictures she got of me, as an unwilling subject, in diapers. "You
look so cute in these!" Lisa said.
There were the three pictures. The first one was the close-up she got of
my thickly-padded butt when she got me to bend over. She got another one of me
from behind as I was running down the hall. My rear end stood out very
prominently with the big diapers on it. The last picture was a frontal shot of
me as I was coming out of my room. I didn't want to tell Lisa this, but I
enjoyed looking at the pictures, seeing how diapered I was.
While I didn't want Lisa showing these off to her friends and everyone
else in her school, I hoped that she would keep them as I would want to look at
them again and again. I felt very sure that she wasn't going to get rid of them,
at least not any time soon.
Cindy woke up and came back out to the front room. She looked very tired
and groggy, but she said her stomach was feeling better. Lisa got up out of her
chair and said "Cindy! Look at these pictures I got of Chris!" Lisa showed the
three pictures to Cindy, who was also quite amused by looking at them.
"I'm taking these to school to show Betty!" Lisa exclaimed.
"Betty and who else?" I asked her.
"Oh, maybe Marge, Cathy, lets see, there's Janette, Stacy, Karen, Sheila--
I know lots of people I can show them to, Chris!"
"Lisa, please don't show them to everyone!" I pleaded.
"Why not? They'll think they're cute! And besides, they don't know you!
Except for Betty, and she's already seen you anyway! You can't even see your
face in two of the pictures, just your butt with big, white diapers padding it
up so nice and thick! I won't show them the third one, okay?"
It sounded fair as I couldn't stop her from doing anything anyway. Tony
grabbed his bag and slipped on his coat as he was getting ready to go home
before it got too dark. "See you tomorrow," I said as he went out the door.
Mom made dinner at around the time she expected dad to come home. Cindy,
as I expected, wasn't up to eating as she decided to pass on dinner this
evening. As I was eating my scalloped potatoes, Dad turned to me and said "I'm
sorry to hear about what happened in school today."
"It was Sean, dad," I said. "I told you he was a mean and rotten kid!"
"Well, Chris, kids like Sean don't get far in life." I knew dad was ready
to go into a long spiel about how he experienced something like this when he was
my age. "I knew a kid in school who was always beating up on everyone. You know
where he's at today? He's in prison. A guy told me that at my class reunion a
few years ago. The guy never changed, he always liked to..."
At that point I lost dad as he rambled on about all the nasty things this
kid did. The last thing I needed to hear about was kids who liked to pick
fights. Dad was just trying to assure me that there have always been bullies in
this world and there always will be.
I had Lisa change my diaper after dinner, which had now been peed in twice
since I wanted to be changed earlier. Only this time it wasn't the usual cotton
diapers and plastic pants that she was going to put on. "Let's try one of your
disposables instead," she suggested. "See how they hold out before you wear them
to school."
She spent a good amount of time wiping me clean since my mess was quite
widely distributed throughout the diaper and spread about in most areas of my
body covered by the diaper. As she saw that my skin was irritated, she was sure
to rub a generous amount of cream on my reddened areas. Next was time for one of
the disposables. The pack of disposables was placed on the floor next to my
drawers where all of my cloth diapers were stored. She opened the package and
pulled out one of the diapers. It looked just like the sample that was shown to
my mom earlier in the day. I could smell the scent of the diaper as she opened
it up in front of me and prepared to put it in its place.
The disposable diaper felt different than the cotton ones I was used to.
While it was, inarguably, a thick diaper, it didn't quite have the bulk of one
of the cotton diapers. It also had more of a true "babyish" fit to it. I liked
the way Lisa pulled the tapes together and fastened them so tightly, ensuring
they would stay on. This time it was just one diaper, not two, and no plastic
pants. I felt less secure in these than I did in the doubled-up cotton diapers
with plastic pants over them, but I had to try them out at home before I went to
school in them.
I emerged from my bedroom a few minutes later in one of the disposables.
Mom saw me and then turned to Lisa.
"He's only supposed to wear those to school!" mom said to her. "That's why
I got them for him in the first place!"
"But mom," Lisa said, "we need to see how well they hold up before he
tries them at school. We wouldn't want any more accidents in class again, now
would we, Chris?"
Saying nothing I just nodded my head in agreement, as thinking back to
that day, I could still vividly recount the humiliation I suffered then.
"Yes, but I don't want him using up all his disposables at home! Put him
back in his regular diapers!"
Lisa and I went back to the changing pad where she removed the disposable
and set it aside for tomorrow since I had only worn it for a few minutes and
hadn't done anything in it yet. Just like before, I was back in two very thick
cotton diapers and plastic pants. Soon I was in bed, but it took me a long time
to get to sleep. There were some nights when I just could not fall asleep, and
this was one of those nights. It was well over an hour, as much as I remember,
before the sandman finally made it to my bedroom.
DIAPER DESIRES: PART 19
-----------------------
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 16, 1989
I woke up feeling three things at once-- tired, sore, and wet. I even
slept through my alarm and mom had to turn the light on and nudge me to open my
eyes. The bed felt so warm and so comfortable. The way I was feeling, I just
wanted to lie there and forget about going to school. As I became more alert I
could feel yesterday's bruises on my body as I slowly sat up and climbed out of
my bed. I felt stiffness in my legs as I began to walk towards my door. I could
also feel a great deal of wetness in the diapers. The doubled-up cotton diapers
and plastic pants had lots of reinforcement to stay on tightly and leaks were
never a problem when I wore them, but this morning was a true test for the
diapers. I knew that the disposable would not have taken so much wetting and the
bed would have been wet, too, so it was a good idea for me to wear my regular
diapers to bed. I was still very much in need of a change before anything else,
even breakfast. I hoped that Cindy would be ready to change me.
Walking out of my room in wet diapers, I looked to see if Cindy was even
awake and ready to go to school today so I could have her change my diapers as
she normally did in the morning. If she were still sick then I'd get Lisa to
change me instead. The light was off in the girls' bedroom but I couldn't tell
whether Cindy was in there or not, and in case she was, I didn't want to disturb
her by turning on the light. The diapers were wet to the point of being
virtually saturated. I drank a large glass of water the night before which
accounted for the extra wetness in the diapers.
I walked out to the kitchen and saw that Cindy was already seated at the
table, so she had to have been feeling better than she did the day before. She
had to have been feeling better than I did, anyway. Lisa was busy doing some
last-minute reviewing of her notes for an important test she had that day. I was
behind schedule this morning as I felt very tired. I wanted to go back to bed. I
wasn't sick, just very sleepy still.
"Good morning, sleepy," she said, noting that I moving sluggishly. "You
look tired."
"I am," I said groggily. "I'm wet, too," I added.
"That's nothing new, I'll change you as soon as I finish eating."
I sat down and poured a bowl of cereal. As I sat there eating with my eyes
half-closed, I kept thinking I'd doze off and be using my bowl of frosted flakes
as a pillow. By the time I was down to the last few spoonfuls of cereal, Cindy
had all her stuff ready to go. "Come on, Chris, we have to catch the bus soon,"
she said.
I lay back down on the changing pad. Just by lying down I wanted to fall
back asleep right there. In fact, I had my eyes closed as it felt like the thing
to do given that I was so drowsy. I was still awake, however, feeling Cindy take
off the diapers. I felt her hands grabbing the plastic pants and then sliding
them off. Next she unfastened the diapers and removed them. A draft flowing
through the room was felt by the wet areas of my skin.
"You were right when you said you were wet, Chris! ," she commented.
Seeing that my eyes were closed, she asked "are you awake?"
"Yezz," I mumbled.
"Gee, you're so out of it this morning, maybe you should stay home
instead."
"No, I'll go...I'll zleep in clazz," I uttered lethargically.
"Okay. At least the disposables will be a lot faster for me to put on you
in the mornings.," she commented. "I don't have to put these on you," she said,
referring to the plastic pants. She pulled the diaper up between my legs and
securely fastened it with the tapes.
In addition to not having to wear plastic pants, I also had no pins in
them to fasten to my shirt. Everyone felt more assured that I wouldn't try to
take the diapers off at school again, and that the nurse probably wouldn't want
to remove them all before changing me.
"We're done!" Cindy said as she finished. Then she clapped her hands a
couple times to jolt me awake. "Let's get going!" She handed me my pants and
then waited for me by the door as I slowly pulled on my socks, followed by my
shoes and lastly, my coat. I felt glad to be wearing some decent pants that
weren't so much larger. The pants were more fashionable, but because of the
diaper underneath, they went on very tightly. The diaper's presence beneath my
pants stretched their fabric to its limit. The diaper was still noticeable,
perhaps more noticeable since the pants were too small to adequately accommodate
a diaper.
The cold morning air was enough to keep me awake while walking to the bus.
All I could think about was the warm bus and the chance to sit down and rest
during the bus ride. I really should have stayed home, but I knew I wasn't in
such a condition that it warranted taking an absence today.
Once I got on the bus I took my seat with Tony but I asked him if I could
take the other side by the window so that I could rest my head against it. The
bus ride was too bumpy for me to sleep, but I tried to get what rest I could by
leaning my head between two of the bus windows. Tony nudged me and let me know
to get up when we arrived. I was feeling more alert now but I didn't think I'd
do very well to pay attention to Mrs. Buxley today.
We opened the lesson with a reading exercise. I got through the first few
paragraphs of the story, but then I stopped there and started daydreaming. I
knew that if I fell asleep in class it would be embarrassing, but I just
couldn't keep up with the story. I started thinking about if others would notice
that I had smaller pants on and what they would say since it was just as obvious
that I had diapers on now as before. Suddenly I heard Mrs. Buxley call out
"question number four, Chris."
I lifted my head. "What?" The class then started laughing.
"I see you weren't paying attention, Chris. Why don't you stay inside for
recess and read the story then?"
"But I'm feeling tired," I tried to excuse myself. The class laughed.
"I will not take excuses!" she asserted. "You're staying in for recess!"
Just as the laughter was settling down, Mrs. Buxley had the girl in front
of me answer the question for which I was not prepared. "Very good, Theresa,"
said the teacher. Megan then turned around and stuck her tongue out at me and
said "neener neener nee-ner, you got in trou-ble!"
Of course Mrs. Buxley saw Megan do this and told her to stay in for
recess, too. Great, not only was I going to miss recess but I also was to spend
my recess time in the classroom with Megan! With Mrs. Buxley there with only two
of her students, she could pay attention to Megan closely enough that she
probably wouldn't try anything to tease me.
About twenty minutes before the recess bell rang I wet in my diaper. This
was the first time I would be using a disposable and I wish I could have tried
to see how well it worked at home before I came to school in it. It wasn't as
thick and I didn't have the assurance of having heavy plastic pants over the
diaper to prevent leaks, so I didn't feel as secure as I wet in the disposable.
I just hoped that it would retain everything I put into it.
While it didn't have any leaks that I was aware of, it felt like that it
needed to be changed right away. The relatively thinner materials didn't soak
the wetness in as quickly as the thicker cotton diapers did, which also had an
absorbent inside liner similar to what was in the disposable.
As the bell rang the entire class got up and left for the playground, all
except Megan and I. Mrs. Buxley told Megan to get up and stand in the corner for
the duration of the recess. She then came up to my desk and told me not to do
anything but read this morning's story. I wanted to get my diaper changed and I
needed to get it changed. Just as Mrs. Buxley walked back to her desk I said
"umm, Mrs. Buxley?". My voice cracked as I got her attention.
"Yes, Chris?"
"I need to go to the bathroom".
"Why? You wear diapers, Chris." The last person I wanted to hear say that
was my teacher. I looked over in the corner and saw Megan giggling silently.
"Well, what I meant was that I need to get changed."
"Stand up," Mrs. Buxley said.
She took a look at my pants and said "you're dry, you can wait until
lunch, now sit back down and read the story." Megan was still giggling.
About five minutes later Tony came to the classroom. Mrs. Buxley then told
him I was being held this recess and he couldn't come in and see me. I looked up
and him and waved just as he left. As I was still tired I barely got past the
second page of the story and I wasn't doing well to retain much of what was
going on in the story. It was a dull story anyway, which only made me more
tired.
Because of the way I felt, the jarring clanging of the bell and the sound
of everyone filing back into the classroom seemed to be louder. Mrs. Buxley told
Megan to return to her seat and for me to put away my reading book. Now was the
math lesson, multiplication. "You'll spend your lunch in here too if I see that
you're not paying attention," she reminded me. "And that goes for everyone,
too," she added.
We began by reviewing yesterday's lesson. We were handed another set of
problems. While I was sitting there doing the problems I had to go again, and I
had to poop this time. I wasn't sure whether to try to hold it until I was
closer to lunch hour, or to just let it out now. While I was wetting more often
without holding it as much, I still consciously held back my bowel movements
until I was "ready". The disposable diaper made me feel less secure for wetting,
now it was time to test it for pooping, and I wasn't so sure how the disposable,
as thick as it was and as tightly as it was put on, would hold up. It was
another loose, runny bowel movement and holding it back wasn't easy. Just after
I turned my paper in I sat back down and I let the mess spilled out into the
diaper. I hoped it wouldn't be much, but I had a fairly good load. About half a
minute later I could smell it. Everyone around me looked at me as if they
smelled it, too. Everybody knew that I wore diapers anyway, so it was no
surprise to them by any means, but still, they all looked at me funny. As I
expected, some of them were laughing.
After reviewing yesterday's lesson, Mrs. Buxley wrote eight multiplication
problems on the board. She called students up one at a time to solve each
problem. We had just finished the fourth problem when Mrs. Buxley called out
"Jeremy, do number five." He failed to respond. "Jeremy! You're staying in class
for lunch!"
"What?"
"You weren't paying attention, so you're staying in class! Chris, number
five is yours."
At least I was paying attention this time, so I didn't lose my lunch hour.
I especially needed to leave the classroom since I needed a diaper change. For
now, I had to stand at the board and solve the math problem to which I was
assigned. Even though my pants were not so big around me anymore, I knew that
the bulk of my diaper filled the seat of my pants quite prominently and I also
knew that everyone could see it as I stood with my rear facing the class. Those
sitting around me also knew that the diaper I was wearing was dirty. I felt like
I should have refused to go up to the board, but I needed my diaper to be
changed and I wasn't about to take any chances of being held in class through
lunch. As I stood there going through the problem, I listened to the hushed
classroom chatter and heard some of the kids giggling. I couldn't clearly make
out what I heard, but it sounded like one kid whispered "Chris pooped in his
diaper," which was followed by about three of four students laughing. Throughout
the class period they kept looking over at me and silently giggling. I knew that
I hadn't heard the last of it, and probably never would. Mrs. Buxley put a stop
to it about ten minutes before lunch and made them all stay; she was really on
everyone today.
When the lunch bell rang I grabbed my entire bag, in which was contained
my lunch and my supply of diapers. Rather than go to the lunchroom first, I went
to the nurse instead to have my diaper changed. Tony was already there and just
getting finished up as I saw him walking out of the "changing room," still
fastening his pants. I went in right behind him and lay down. I felt awkward
having my diaper changed at school by someone whom I wasn't used to having a
diaper changed. The table felt so cold beneath me as I lay there nervously and
watched the nurse unfold the diaper I handed her upon walking. While she made
other preparations for changing me the nurse nicely, but plainly instructed me
to drop my pants so that she could remove the dirty diaper, clean me up and put
another clean diaper on. Just as Tony had told me, it was a quick process. It
was much faster than what I was used to with Lisa and Cindy changing me. Within
a couple minutes I joined Tony who was waiting for me outside the nurse's
office. We then went to our table, which was still vacant even though we weren't
there to reserve it for the first few minutes of the lunch period. Just about
everyone had their chosen spots in the lunchroom.
As I went around during recess, a lot of the kids talked more about Sean
beating up on me, rather than about the fact that I wore diapers, disposable or
otherwise. A lot of them were glad that Sean had at least been suspended for a
few days if not expelled completely. This didn't make everyone suddenly feel
sorry for me. In fact, a lot of kids just stayed away from Tony and I as time
went on from that point. They didn't want to associate with two weird kids who
wore diapers to school and pooped in them-- or least they could safely assume
that.
Sean was gone now, who was the worst of my problems, but Megan and Tracy
were still around, and I knew they'd never get suspended nor expelled from
school as much as I wished for it to happen. Megan came right up to me and said
"so you finally got some decent pants, I see!"
I tried not looking at her as I walked. I just said "uh, huh."
"I can still see your diaper, Chris! It really shows, you know!"
"Yeah, uh huh." Tony and I started walking faster, hoping to get rid of
them.
"I saw you go into the nurse's. Did she change you, Chris?" I ignored her.
"Did she wipe you? Did she wipe up your poopy butt?" Tracy and her both
started laughing.
"Come on, Chris," said Tony. "They just want you to get mad at them."
"I am getting mad at them," I replied. " Why don't they just leave me
alone?"
"Because we think you boys are so cute in your diapers!" Tracy said as she
cut in.
"Yeah, you too, Tony!" said Megan. I can see your diaper under your pants!
We wanna come over after school and change you guys!"
The two girls walked off laughing, again taking their shots at me, and now
Tony, for wearing diapers. I didn't know what I could do to get rid of them.
Every day they came up to us at least once. They never stayed very long, just
long enough to make us feel embarrassed.
I was glad to hear the bell ring. The wind had picked up and made things
feel even colder outside. It was about ten minutes before the numbness in my
face had disappeared. Sitting in class, I thought about how it seemed like there
was something different about wearing a diaper that was changed by someone
completely neutral, such as the school nurse. I knew that it was her job to take
care of me, and that it was a completely objective process and that she was not
there to tell me what she thought about older boys who wear diapers, although I
was sure she had some sort of opinion about it. In some ways, her impartial role
as my diaper changer was good. There was no teasing or silly remarks like I
always heard from my sisters. While my mom, who only changed me on occasion,
didn't tease me like my sisters did, she handled the matter in such a way that
she felt forced to put me through this and felt it was the only way I'd learn
not to make messes in my pants. I just hoped she wouldn't realize that she was
only encouraging me to wear diapers more, and if she found that out, she would
eventually take them away.
To the school nurse it didn't matter why I wore them and she wouldn't have
cared for how long, even if she were to change me every day until I graduated,
some nine years from then. It almost felt like a privilege to be one of the few
kids in school who wore diapers. Even though the disposables could still be
easily detected beneath my pants, I didn't feel as bad about wearing diapers to
school. Part of it had to do with the fact that I saw other kids besides Tony
and I who wore diapers. The only thing that was different was that these kids
appeared to have a need for diapers, not just because they chose to nor that
their mothers forced them to go to school in them.
The class was then dismissed for the last recess. I was still dry and
didn't need to go have the nurse change me just yet. Tony was also apparently
dry as he stood outside the classroom and waited for me. Because of the cold,
blowing wind, we stood next to the wall as did many other kids in an effort to
keep warm. It seemed like a short recess, luckily as I was soon back in the
classroom, again waiting for a sense of feeling to return to my face.
Just as I got settled down and warmed up again, I needed to wet my diaper.
There was never much time between the class dismissal and the bus departure to
do much of anything in between, so if I wet now I would probably have to stay
wet until I got home. I decided that it would be less than two hours before Lisa
would change me at home, so I decided to wet. I couldn't hold it much longer
anyway and I wasn't used to holding it anymore as it was. Right in the middle of
a spelling lesson I let it out. I hoped that I wouldn't need to wet again before
I got changed again.
The dismissal bell rang. I got up from my seat and felt the wet diaper
hanging down from the weight of the wetness that I put into it just a little
while ago. I walked to the bus and sat down with Tony. I looked down at my pants
and saw that my diaper leaked. There was a fairly good-sized wet spot on my
jeans. I picked up my bag from the floor and set it on my lap to cover it up so
others wouldn't see the wet spot.
I was glad to get home to have my diaper changed. Lisa looked at my pants
and said "your pants are wet!"
"The diaper leaked," I said.
"Oh? So the disposables aren't working?" she asked.
"They worked fine, but I really had to go this afternoon."
"Oh. I see. We'll get you back into these thick cotton diapers and plastic
pants like you've been wearing and I'll see that they're on nice and tight and
don't leak! How's that?"
"That's fine," I said plainly.
Within a couple minutes I was back in extra-thick cotton diapers with
heavy-duty plastic pants like before. I enjoyed wearing the bulkier cotton
diapers at home more, although I was just glad I didn't have to wear them to
school anymore.
DIAPER DESIRES: PART 20
-----------------------
After a couple of weeks of wearing diapers, at school and at home, I was
becoming accustomed to everything. Not much of anything new or significant had
occurred once everything was established. I was wearing disposables at school
and cotton diapers at home. At school, everybody knew that I wore diapers and
there were always the kids who seemed to have nothing better to do than to tease
me about it. I learned to ignore most of it, which was the best thing to do,
although it certainly wasn't easy to do.
My sisters didn't make all the facetious remarks about my diapers like
they did before and began to look at the job of diapering me daily to be more of
a bother, even with having each of their allowances doubled for it. More or
less, the novelty of it had begun to wear off, and the fact that I was wearing
diapers was just a part of daily life.
Not everyone in the immediately family yet knew about my wearing diapers;
however, Thanksgiving was approaching, and if it was to be like any year, we
would go to my grandparents' house and have the big feast there. My grandparents
(my mom's parents) were very nice and always spoiled us kids every time we
visited. How they would react when they found out I wore diapers, however,
remained uncertain. I hoped that, perhaps, such a revelation could be avoided
altogether.
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 1989 (THANKSGIVING)
I got up that morning, and of course, I was wet. Everybody was getting
ready to go to my grandparents' house, anticipating the large dinner that
grandma always served up for us. I got my diapers changed before we left. Mom
had Lisa bring along some extra diapers as we would be there for most of the day
and I would most likely need a change or two before the day was over.
I didn't know how my grandparents would react to the fact that I was
wearing diapers. They hadn't seen me since I was put back into diapers, and they
certainly were not expecting me to be wearing diapers. Not only were my
grandparents to learn of my return to diapers, but so were some other relatives
who also made the trip to my grandparents' house this year. My Uncle Allen and
my Aunt Sharon, and my nine-year-old cousin Suzy were also there for the big
feast. Just as my dad had told me nearly three weeks ago, others would soon find
out that I was wearing diapers, and there was nothing I could do to hide it.
Just before we got to my grandparents' place I wet the diapers.
As I went into my Grandma's and Grandpa's house, my feelings of self-
consciousness returned to me, just as I had felt in school. My bulging pants and
the sounds of my plastic pants were sure to be a giveaway. I just didn't know
what the others in my family would think. Certainly they wouldn't laugh at me
like the kids at school, except, perhaps, for Suzy. Grandma was in the kitchen
with Aunt Sharon, each of them working to get the Thanksgiving meal ready.
Grandpa was out in his workshop and Uncle Allen was in front of the TV watching
football. Suzy was in the spare bedroom where Grandma kept toys for the visiting
kids to play with. It was just like any other Thanksgiving so far.
"Where should I set Chris' diaper stuff?" Lisa asked my mom as she was
carrying a bag full of diapers, wipes, baby powder and lotion.
"Oh, just set it behind the door," mom instructed her.
As Lisa had openly and casually mentioned the "diaper stuff" in the
presence of several other relatives, I looked around the room thinking that
someone may have heard her. Nobody seemed to be paying any attention, however,
much to my relief.
As mom and dad brought in the last of the food that they had brought
along, Uncle Allen got up from the chair and Aunt Sharon came into the front
room to greet us, exchanging hugs and kisses. Aunt Sharon was the stereotypical
aunt who always delivered a big, wet kiss each time she saw us. "Oh, and how's
Chris? My, but you're a growing boy!"
"Yeah, at least physically he's growing," Lisa quipped, "but I think he'll
be a little boy a while!"
"Lisa! Don't!" I said as I jabbed her with my elbow.
"Well, it's true, Chris."
"Oh, you'll be a big man before you know it, Chris," said Aunt Sharon.
"How 'bout a kiss for your Aunt Sharon?" For the sake of being polite I kissed
aunt Sharon and allowed her to reciprocate with her constricting hug and her
big, sloppy smooch. As she hugged me, I hoped that she would not put her arms
around me low enough to feel diapers through my pants. I felt her hand pat my
lower back where the top of my diapers went up above my pants. Certainly she had
to have felt that extra padding on her fingertips.
I went through the same thing with Uncle Allen, only instead of a big
kiss, he gave me a firm handshake. He too, gave me a big bear hug that would
have suffocated me if he held onto me any longer than he did. Uncle Allen and
Aunt Sharon only saw us once or twice a year, so they were always glad to see us
when they could.
Lisa and Cindy ran off to join cousin Suzy in the play room. I knew that
Suzy presented to Lisa and Cindy a fresh, new opportunity to have some fun with
my diaper changes. I could only wait to find out what Suzy would think when Lisa
or Cindy told her that I was wearing diapers. I remember when I was four years
old and still being potty trained. Aunt Sharon and Uncle Allen were visiting our
place that summer. Suzy, then only three years old, thought it was quite funny
that I was still wearing diapers when she had been out of them since she was
two. Of course Lisa and Cindy made a big deal out of it then. Now, some four
years later, everything was about to repeat itself.
I took a seat at the end of the couch and sat there for a few minutes
glancing at the football game on TV before turning my attention to the comic
books that I brought along to pass the time
"Why don't you go see what your cousin Suzy is doing?" mom suggested.
"Dinner won't be ready for awhile."
I didn't want to get up and walk in there for fear of having the "big
secret" exposed or hearing about it if Suzy had already been told. I knew that
if I did walk in there, Lisa and Cindy would say something to Suzy about my
diapers right away. Given a choice, I'd rather that Suzy find out through my
aunt or uncle, who would, in turn, probably find out from my mom or dad.
"I'll wait until we eat," I said.
"Chris!" mom scolded. "I'm ashamed of you! You haven't seen Suzy in over a
year! Now go in there and see her!"
"Aww, alright," I groaned. I got up and started to walk down the hallway
when I turned around and stopped. I looked at mom and said "I'm sorry, mom. I
want to see Suzy, It's just that..."
"I know, you don't want her to know you wear diapers, right?"
"Shhh! Mom! Don't say that so loud!" I told mom.
"You don't expect this to remain a secret to everyone else, do you, Chris?
They're all going to know soon enough, so you might as well get it out of the
way! Now go in there, I'm sure Suzy wants to see you!"
"Okay," I sighed.
I went into the room and saw Suzy sitting on the floor playing with the
dolls and the dollhouse that Grandma provided. Lisa and Cindy were also sitting
on the floor playing with her. Cindy didn't play with dolls much and Lisa had
since then outgrown them, but Suzy still liked playing with them, so Lisa and
Cindy always joined her in playing with the dolls when they got together.
I went to the door of the bedroom and peaked in.
"Oh, hi Chris!" said Lisa. "Come on in!"
"Hi, Chris!" Suzy greeted.
"Oh, hi Suzy," I said. I just stood there, peaking around the door and
watching them play with the dolls.
"Grandma's got Legos, too, you know," said Cindy. "You don't have to play
with the dolls if you don't want to."
Of course I knew that Grandma provided Legos for me to play with when I
visited. I just wasn't so sure I wanted to go before Suzy and have her see my
large pants and the big bulge beneath them. It seemed that Suzy hadn't yet been
told as she didn't say anything about my diapers. I had little choice but to go
into the room. If I just stood there, it would be obvious that I was hiding
something, which I was. I decided that Suzy did not know about it yet so I
walked into the room, trying to keep my rear end turned to the wall away from
view of the girls, Suzy in particular. I also took slow, small steps to reduce
the noise from the plastic pants. I wished that I could have worn disposables as
they were less conspicuous. I thought for sure that one of the girls would blurt
it out. In fact, I was expecting it. I kept waiting for one of them to allude to
my diapers by saying if I needed changed or something like that. It was driving
me nuts that they hadn't said anything, which, I figured out, was the idea.
The girls just carried on and played with their dolls in one corner as I
just minded my own business and constructed cars and buildings with my Lego set
in the other corner. As I sat there I felt a need to poop. I was able to hold it
in as I felt very self-conscious by having Suzy sitting there in the same room.
I learned that I had trouble with going in my diapers whenever I was in a new
environment or in a situation in which I was uncomfortable about using the
diapers.
"You're awfully quiet over there, Chris," said Cindy. "Why don't you come
join us?"
"Because I don't play with dolls," I said.
"Why?"
"Because dolls are for girls!" I stated.
"Oh? We girls don't feel that way about Legos! We don't think they're just
for boys!"
"Yeah, everyone, let's go play with the Legos," said Lisa. "We'll come
over and join you then, Chris!"
Lisa and Cindy both knew why I was isolating myself from them and they
were slowly working their way over to me. The girls put all the dolls "to bed"
and kissed them all goodnight (how pathetic, I thought) and then they crawled
over to my corner. I scooted back and closed my legs, hoping the tell-tale bulge
beneath my pants wouldn't show as much. I tried to avoid showing signs of such
modesty, but Lisa and Cindy knew what they were doing and they were doing it
successfully. They knew that I was anxiously waiting for them to spill the
beans.
About an hour or so after we arrived, dinner was ready. "Kids!" Aunt
Sharon shouted down the hall. "Dinner's ready!" I waited for the three girls to
leave the room before I got up. I had sat there anxiously long enough, and,
strange as it seemed, I would have felt better if either Lisa or Cindy had just
blurted it out instead of making me sit there. Now that the three girls had left
the room, I felt less inhibited about pooping my diapers. Before I went out to
the kitchen to join the others, I pooped in my diapers. I tried to hold it
longer at first, but I couldn't avoid it. I also wet in them some more, feeling
the wetness soak up the front and the poop squishing around in the rear. I hoped
to get through the day without needing to be changed, but already it was too
late. It was only 12:30 in the afternoon and it would be at least 6:00 before we
left for home, so it was quite likely that I would need to be changed again
before we left.
Before the meal was served, we all gathered to say grace. Then, it was
time to eat! We had turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, rolls, and a lot of other
goodies. I made sure to fill my plate with just about everything was offered. As
I carried my plate over to the designated kid's table, Suzy stared at me. I
could tell by the position of her eyes that she was paying close attention to
the size of my pants and the bulge beneath them. It didn't help that my plastic
pants made so much noise when I walked. I hadn't paid a lot of attention to the
sound until today when I didn't want others to find out. She continued to stare
at the seat of my pants as I joined her and my two sisters at the table.
The girls sat there and talked about "girl things" while I sat there
quietly and ate my food. I wished that Suzy had a brother so that when she and
Aunt Sharon and Uncle Allen visited, I would have someone to talk to or to play
with. When Suzy was around it was like having a third sister, blech!
After I finished my plate off I went back over to the couch and resumed
reading my comic books. I glanced up every few seconds to see if everyone was
finished eating. While I was glancing up I saw mom walk over to Lisa. While I
couldn't hear what mom said, I was quite sure that she was reminding Lisa to
check my diapers and to change me if necessary. Suzy burst into giggling after
mom walked back to the kitchen, which is how I figured that mom told Lisa to
change my diapers, right in front of Suzy. Mom could have at least been more
discreet and whispered it to Lisa instead.
I got up and went over to Lisa. "What did mom say to you?" I asked her.
"Oh, nothing! Go back to your reading!"
"Why was everyone laughing?"
"Uh, because mom told us a joke," Lisa said.
"But we can't tell you because it's a girls' joke," Cindy added.
"You wouldn't think it was funny, anyway," added Suzy.
I was smart enough to know very well that mom told Lisa to check my
diapers. After I went back to the couch the three girls got up from the table.
"Let's go play with dolls again," Suzy suggested.
"Nah," said Cindy. "I got a little tired of them. Let's play a game!
Grandpa's got lots of fun games!"
"Yeah!" said Suzy and Lisa in unison. "Maybe Chris will want to play!"
Lisa suggested. "Chris, you wanna play a game with us?"
"I dunno," I replied. "Which one are you playing?"
"We dunno yet. I'll ask Grandpa and see if he's gotten any new ones."
Lisa went up to Grandpa and asked him if he had any new games for us. He
didn't have anything new, but he did get out an old favorite of ours, Connect
Four, that we hadn't played in awhile. Lisa and Cindy played as one team, Suzy
and I the other. We started the game when Dad and Grandpa came into the room and
asked us to move. "You guys will need to move your game into the bedroom, we
need to take this table back down," Dad told us.
We gathered up all the game pieces and moved back into the spare bedroom
where we resumed playing. As Suzy was sitting right next to me, I tried not to
let her see the big bulge underneath my pants, but I was sure that she knew it
was there. In the middle of the game I discovered that my shirt had ridden up
and that my diapers were showing quite conspicuously above my pants. As Suzy was
sitting farther back than I was, I'm sure she got a good look at my diapers. At
least I had some pants on and she didn't see my diapers in their entirety...yet.
Lisa then got up at the end of the game and said "I need to go to the
bathroom, I'll be right back."
Diaper Desires, Parts 21-30