By Danny
I decided I was going to try to call Bull at home until it dawned on me that he was probably already at school. Even so I didn’t want to wait all day to talk with him; I simply didn’t know what I was going to do just yet . . . and then it occurred to me that Bull just might be home. I mean, since Jasper was sent home from the hospital, maybe Bull was staying home to take care of him? And even if Bull wasn’t home I could maybe talk with Jasper and find out what is going on. Anyway, I would like to know how Jasper is and let him know that Peter had been re-apprehended; that is if the police hadn’t already told them.
“Mom?” I yelled through the house for her and she appeared in the doorway looking concerned.
“What is it?” she said with one hand resting on the nape of her neck as she tried to catch her breath.
“Nothing bad.” I assured her, “I just want to get up!” I said as upbeat as possible.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” She came into my room where I could see her without having to crane my head backwards, “No I don’t think that is a good idea at all! You need to rest and let your body heal.” She was standing with her hands on her hips again and though I knew I shouldn’t push things, I did anyway.
“But mom, I am tired of being in here all alone!” I whined; quite well, I might add, too.
Mom tried to appease me. “Well, your brother is going to come over this weekend since he didn’t get to stay very long last weekend. He can help keep you company.”
I stammered a bit as I tried to think of a good excuse to get her to let me get up and go use the phone. “Yea but, but, I . . . can’t I just go to the living room and watch TV in there? I can stay on the sofa?”
“Honey!” mom called through the house for dad who came in with only his pants and a tank top undershirt on. He was holding three ties in one hand and two shirts in the other.
“Which do you think I should wear to the office?” he asked, holding them out to mom.
Without any thought at all mom said, “The light blue shirt with the silk tie I got you last Christmas.”
“Oh yea!” dad said looking at the three ties in his hand and sporting an expression as if to say, “What was I thinking with these three ties?” he started to turn to leave but mom stopped him, “Honey! Your son wants to get up and play.”
“No I don’t! I just want to get up! I will not play or anything, I just want out of my roooooooommmmmmm!” Oh that was one of my better whining jobs. I think I should get a job as a professional whiner when I get older!
“Oh my goodness! Someone call the Waaaambulance!” dad mocked!
“Dad, please! My ribs are hardly hurting at all now!” That one came out more like a cry then a whine but it worked just the same and they both finally relented. I had to agree that I would lie on the sofa and would not try to get up and wander around the house and if I did need to get up I wasn’t allowed to do so on my own without one of them there to help me.
I took my new e-book with me so that I could do some writing if I felt the urge. Mom also brought my sipper-cup, my pillow from my bed as well as the quilt dad had put on me when I had come home from the hospital. With dad holding me from behind I, for the most part, walked by myself to the living room. With each step I took my diaper crinkled. I’m sure it was just my imagination but it sounded a lot louder then it had in the hospital. I stopped by the sofa. Since mom had every curtain in the house pulled closed and the fact that it was still raining and dark out the two lamps on the tables that flanked each end of the sofa were both on bathing the room in a soft white glow that was not at all offensive to the eyes. I also noticed that the dining room light was still on as was the kitchen one. It was obvious mom was still worked up about Peter even though we knew he was recaptured and locked up again. I couldn’t help but wonder if she’d been like this since hearing that Peter had escaped in the first place.
“Do you think it will be okay for me to call Jasper at home? I just want to see if he is okay and let him know that Peter is alright.” I asked.
I could tell by mom’s look that she was about to say no but I tried another tactic before she could say it. “He might not even know that Peter has been recaptured! He might still be scared that Peter will come after him!”
Mom’s face went hard and she pointed to the sofa, “You, on the sofa now! I’ll bring you my cell phone again!”
Dad finally chimed in and with a disarming tone he addressed mom, “I think the kitchen phone cord will reach in here darling.”
“Oh alright then!” and she put my pillow down against the arm rest of the sofa with quite a bit of force before going to the kitchen to get the receiver. Dad was helping me ease down onto the sofa when the phone suddenly rang. Mom let out a squeal of surprise, which got me to laughing because I’d seen her feet come off the floor when she’d jumped. I was so relieved that laughing didn’t hurt nearly as much as it had before. I am now thinking that maybe the popping sound I heard was something going back into place, like maybe a broken rib finally set right and that is why I am not hurting as much as I was.
I heard mom answer the phone, “Oh hi sis!” it guessed it must have been Aunt Catharine calling. Mom was standing just inside the kitchen where I could still see her and hear at least her side of the conversation.
“You don’t?”
“Well for how long now?”
“I think Simon’s going to work soon, I could have him drop off some candles?”
I always find it funny when mom calls dad by his name. I know I am named after him but I’ve always heard her calling him, Hun or Honey or Sweetie or some other bleeding heart lovey-dovey term of affection and I always just call him Dad. She continued talking into the phone and twirling the cord around one finger.
“Yes the power is still on here.”
“Not that I know of.”
“Well why don’t you come over then and you can help me take care of Sim . . .”
Now I knew she was talking about me and despite my new fondness for my aunt, I mean since she gave me the awesome birthday present, I didn’t really care to spend the entire day listening to her go on and on about how horribly bad her life is and so on.
“How’d you manage that?”
“How bad?”
There was a long pause while mom listened quietly before finally inserting, “Well, I don’t think I should leave him alone.”
There was another pause, shorter this time before mom said, “Let me ask him and I’ll let you know either way. Okay! B-bye.”
Mom hung up the phone and I expected, by the look on her face, that she’d completely forgotten that she was supposed to be bringing the receiver to me so that I could call Jasper.
“Catharine’s power went out and she fell over a chair and hurt her leg. She wants me to come over and bring her some candles.” Mom looked at me, then dad, and then back to me almost like she was wrestling with herself as to who needed her more.
As if someone had flipped on a switch I had the best idea, “Maybe Mike’s mom can come over and stay with me until you or dad gets back?” I said with raised eyebrows.
Dad scratched his cheek and said, “No, no, I’m just going to stay home! I can work from here; I’ll just go give them a call.” He said pulling on his tie until it came undone.
As dad was walking across the room mom gave me a knowing look before whispering so that only I could hear her, “I don’t think he wanted to go to work today do you?”
I just smiled and opted out of commenting but boy I sure wanted, too.
I watched as mom grabbed her umbrella and raincoat from the coat closet behind the front door before she walked back toward the kitchen. I wasn’t sure where she was going until she stopped, picked up the phone and walked the receiver over to me stretching the coil-cord across the room. Dad had been right, it reached all the way over to the sofa with no problem at all and she surprised me that she’d not actually forgot. While I dialed Jasper and Bull’s number mom went over and clicked on the TV before bringing the remote to me.
“Thanks” I said taking the remote from her as I was putting the phone to my ear and listening to it ring. Mom leaned over and kissed the top of my head, “Be good!”
“Okay!” I said not really paying attention. On the fifth ring some little girl finally answered.
“Uh, is Jasper there?” I asked not knowing who had answered.
“Oh hi Simon this is me!” the voice said.
I heard our front door close without it really registering right away that mom had already left.
“Gee Jasper, you sounded like a girl when you first answered.” I said trying to make it sound as though I was kind of joking.
“Hey!” he shouted into the phone nearly rupturing my eardrum.
“Sorry!” I apologized while laughing into the phone, “But you did!”
Now sounding as though he was trying to make his voice lower on purpose Jasper said, “You’re lucky you’re all the way over there or I’d . . .” He didn’t finish his sentence because he was interrupted by someone in the background at his place; it sounded like a lady asking who was on the phone. Jasper must have pulled the phone away from his mouth because I could barely hear him say my name.
“Sorry, that was my mom. She wanted to know who it was.” Jasper said back into the phone.
“Yea I heard you both.” I answered back, “Hey did you hear about?” I didn’t get to finish my sentence before Jasper cut me off.
“You mean about Peter?” he didn’t wait for me to answer before he forged on, “Yea the police were here again this morning and told us all about it.” Jasper sounded excited and relieved at the same time.
“What do you mean again?” I asked, fearing that the police were on Bull’s trail now.
“They were here when I came home from the hospital and they have been driving by like every half hour ever since.” He paused to take a breath, “They were just making sure that everything is okay. They said they been watching your house too.” he informed me.
“Wow, I didn’t know that!” I added which was true. Since I’d been home, aside from a trip to the shower, I’d not been out of bed.
“Yea and they said he would be going back to that same place.” Jasper told me and for the first time I realized that I’d expected they would have thrown him into a hole somewhere and then thrown the hole away. Hearing that he was going back to the same place, which neither Jasper nor I could remember the name of at this point, didn’t exactly fill me with feelings of comfort. The two of us continued to talk for sometime before I was able to redirect our conversation in hopes that I could get some information about Bull and Tater.
“So how’s everything there?” I asked.
“Oh, everything is okay, I guess.” He answered, “My arm’s in a sling and I can’t use it for anything until the doctor tells me so.” He paused for half a second, “I’m also not allowed to play rough, either. I just been doing computer games and writing you emails.” He paused again before raising the tone of his voice a bit, “Hey, are you not able to get on the computer? Is that why you have not been answering my emails?” he asked.
“I’m on the sofa right now, this is the first time since I came home that I have been out of my bed except for my shower today.” I said and then told him about what happen this morning when dad had scared me and how when he was helping me up something in me popped and most of the pain went away.
“Wow! I will ask dad about that when he gets home this afternoon. I bet he will know what it was.” Jasper said and then there was a long pause before I heard him sneeze.
“Kazuntite!” I said.
“What?” he said back sounding very confused.
“I said kazuntite!” I repeated.
“What’s kazu . . .?” he couldn’t say it.
“Kazuntite! It’s what you say when someone sneezes.” I said.
“Na huh! You say ‘Bless you’!” he corrected.
“That’s basically what kazuntite means. I think it is like bless you in a foreign language or something.” I said.
Jasper followed up with, “You are weird!”
“No I’m not but do you know why people bless someone that sneezes?” I asked trying to show how smart I am.
He was quiet for a couple seconds and I knew he was thinking, “I dunno!” he finally confessed.
“My dad told me that a long time ago people believed that when you sneezed that your spirit could escape out your nose and when someone said ‘Bless you!” that would cram your spirit back inside you!” after I finished I waited for his reply.
It took him several seconds to process this before he said in a high tone, “That’s just stupid!” and then laughed hard. I laughed only cause laughter is contagious and not cause of what I said.
I got back on track by asking, “So how is your dad? Anything going on?” I felt like my inquiry was too direct and that I had gone too far too fast.
“Yea dad’s great! He and mom, well everyone actually, has been watching me really closely and making sure I am okay. But yea, dad’s good.” Jasper answered and from the sound of his answer I guessed that he found my question kind of odd, too.
“So Bull is okay, too?” I decided to go for it since I had already pushed so far.
“Yea . . .” he answered, “He’s been super nice to me since I got home and even helped me get dressed this morning. You know it is really hard to do stuff like button a shirt or zip up your own pants when you can only using one arm.”
“So is he at school then?” I asked ignoring the rest of what he’d said.
“Yea, but I can’t go back to school yet. I really want too but the doctor said that it’s too dangerous and that if someone accidentally bumped me in the hall that it could cause me to rip out my sutures again.” He acted like he didn’t want to talk about anything other then himself and seemed slightly offended that I wanted to talk about anyone other then him.
I went a head and humored him by saying, “Yea! I don’t know when I am going back to school either. I’m feeling a lot better today but I get tired pretty quick and I bet the same sort of thing could happen to me. I mean like you said, someone could accidentally bump into me. I think that would be about the worst.” I said and paused as I thought about saying something about still having to wear diapers since I couldn’t wipe myself and since I seemed to be having a bit of a problem with keeping control of my bladder and my backside. Our conversation turn to school and we talked about how we thought everyone was probability throwing parties and celebrating now that Peter and his goon squad were history.
“Yea it sure is going to be different now.” I observed.
“Did your doctor tell you how long it would be before you could race or at least do training again?” Jasper asked right out of the blue.
“Uh, no but I think it is going to be quite a while. I mean the doctor did say that rib’s can take a long time to heal but the good news is that my ankle is looking and doing a lot better. It still gives me a twinge now and then but it is working really good and it’s not all swollen, bruised and gross looking anymore.” I said before adding, “Also my eye is doing a whole lot better. I can see good out of it now and it’s not hardly blurry at all except maybe a little around the edges when I try to only look through it and not both eyes. Mom’s still been putting the medicine on it so that it will continue to heal up and I still got my stitches which are cool.”
“That’s good!” Jasper added before saying, “I can’t wait to get back to coaching again.”
We continued to talk for another ten minutes before dad came back in the room unexpectedly. I told Jasper to hang on a second and covered the phone with my hand.
“What?” I said to dad when he was looking at me kind of angry like. At least I thought he might be angry about something but I had no idea what or why.
“Nothing!” dad said smiling now and he stepped over the stretched phone cord on his way to the back of the house.
“Sorry about that, I thought dad wanted something but he didn’t.” I said to Jasper.
“That’s okay.” Jasper said and he was about to say something else but I’d already started to ask another question.
“So does anyone else know it was you?” I asked hoping he knew I was talking about the pictures of Peter.
“Huh?” Jasper said into the phone.
“You know what I mean!” I said with a hint of my true feelings about it accidentally showing in my voice.
There was an awkward silence for several seconds before Jasper finally broke in, “You mean the pictures?”
“Of ‘course I mean the pictures!” I said sounding very cynical.
“Oh that! No, not anyone!” he said kind of quietly.
“What?” I asked sensing there was something he wasn’t telling me.
There was anther short pause before he said, “Ah nothing.”
“Jasper?” I beckoned.
“Well . . .” he paused again and I found an anger building in me that really took me by surprise.
“What?” I said in a very commanding tone.
“Why are you getting mad?” Jasper asked in defense.
“I’m not mad.” I said through clenched teeth.
I heard a click and the phone went dead.
I sucked in my bottom lip and bit down on it thinking, “That sorry jerk hung up on me!”
I pulled the phone away from my ear and stared at it in astonishment. I’d never had someone hang up on me before unless you count the one time BJ did accidentally when he was playing around with the buttons while we were talking.
Dad happened to be going back through the room and I handed him the phone to hang up for me. I presume that my emotions were right out there for all to read because dad stopped half way to the kitchen and asked, “Everything okay?”
I let my bottom lip pop back out of my mouth. “Yea” was all I said and thankfully dad let it drop without any more prying.
Aside from the abrupt ending to our phone conversation, I felt better in a way about Tater, Bull and Runt. After having talked with Jasper I thought that maybe I’d jumped to conclusions in thinking that Tater, Bull and Runt had been involved in the robbery and the two subsequent murders I’d heard about on TV.
I spent the better part of the day watching TV or writing. I’d wet myself a little during the morning and at lunchtime mom had called to check on dad and I. Dad told her we were fine and that he was just about to make lunch. I’m sure after the whole breakfast fiasco this morning mom wasn’t too happy to hear that he was going to try his hand at cooking again. She didn’t have to worry cause dad and I ended up having a couple Pizza Hot Pockets. The nice thing about those is, you just pull ‘em out of the plastic wrapper and toss ‘em into the microwave for a couple minutes. Dad also made me a nice cold cup of chocolate milk in one of my sipper-cups after I begged him too. Actually I didn’t have to beg much, it was more just playfulness between the two of us.
While we ate the two of us started watching an old James Bond movie on one of the cable channels, which we’d come into about at the halfway point. I’m not a big James Bond fan and neither is dad but it was about the only good thing on just then and the one good thing about James Bond movies is that they are always good for some nice explosions and insane special effect stunts. Sometime near the end of the movie I got the feeling that I needed to poop again and from the feel of it I thought I might have a small case of diarrhea coming on. I twisted my head around and saw that dad was out cold in his chair. I didn’t want to wake him up so I figured I’d try to get up on my own but after twisting the wrong way on my first attempt I decided that I’d just wait until he woke up and after a few minutes the sensation left me. I finished watching the movie and started flipping through the channels again when all at one our power went out.
“Dad?” I tried to wake him by speaking softly.
“Dad?” I spoke a bit louder.
“Power go out?” I heard him finally say.
“Either that or you forgot to pay the electric bill!” I joked.
Since mom had closed all the curtains in the house and now that we had no power in the house it was completely and utterly dark in the living room; I couldn’t even see my own hand when I held it up.
“You okay?” dad asked.
“Yea I’m fine.” I said.
“Well just stay there and don’t do anything,” he said and I could hear him getting up out of his chair and moving across the carpet. Now that it was so quiet inside the house I could hear that it had stopped raining finally outside. That’s one thing about living here in the valley. If you don’t like the weather, just stand around and wait for a few minutes and it will change.
I heard dad run into something. It sounded like the kitchen table. “Oh that’s going to leave a mark!” I heard him groan.
“Hey dad?” I called.
“What?” he growled.
“Does it hurt when you do that?” I asked trying my best to sound sincere.
“Yes it did!” he said sounding annoyed.
“Then you might not want to do that!” I joked.
“Boy! Keep it up!” he warned and I could tell he was laughing in the dark.
Right then the power came back on and my eyelids slammed shut automatically at the sudden brightness.
“Oh that’s much better!” I heard dad joke from the kitchen. “Oh and I just found the flashlight too!”
Even though the power came back on, the cable box on top of the TV hadn’t. Dad fiddled with it for several minutes but in the end it just sat there blinking four zero’s at us. Without the TV I went back to writing for the rest of the afternoon right up until about 2:00 when I decided I was board out of my mind.
“Daaaaaaaad?” I called out.
“Whaaaaat?” he called back from the other room.
“I’m booooooored and I want to get uuuuuuuup.” I called again.
“That’s just tooooo baaaaad.” Dad sent back my way.
I let my head fall backwards against the armrest of the sofa and stared at the ceiling for four or five minutes before calling after him again.
“Daaaaaaaad?”
“K-e-e-p i-i-t u-u-u-p a-a-n-n-n-d I w-i-l-l-l-l-l-l b-e-e-e-e-e-a-a-a-a-t y-o-u-u-u-u!” he said back dragging it out for all it was worth.
I waited a minute of two before starting in again, “Dad please!”
I heard him sigh from the other room and then emerge shortly there after. “I liked you better when your were drugged and sleeping all the time.” Dad said with a mock look of annoyance.
“I love you too daddy!” I said very deadpan like adding the daddy part as a nice touch before begging again, “Now can I get up PLEASE!” I had my hand clasped together in the poor beggar child style. “Please, please, please dearest father! Can I please just get up for just a little while? I promise I will be good!”
Totally ignoring my Oscar winning performance he asked, “What are you going to do when you are up?”
“I don’t know. I just want to stretch my legs and . . .” I didn’t have anything to add to it so I just trailed off.
He stood looking at me for several minutes and I did my best to look pitiful until he finally gave in and came over to help me up.
Once up I walked from the living room to the kitchen with dad walking right along behind me. Just as before my diaper was crinkling with every step though a bit quieter since it was now holding about a third of its capacity. Dad wasn’t holding on to me though I was sure he was ready just in case I tried to topple over. I was doing just find, heck I wasn’t even wobbly in the legs now either though I did have to waddle a bit due to the diaper. I managed to fill another cup with a cold can of cola from the fridge and stood next to the counter as I tried to figure out how the sipper lid went on the cup. Dad ended up having to show me that I had to first line up the two notches and then twist it till it snapped into place. It was so simple that it made me feel dumb that I couldn’t figure it out for myself.
“What do you say to . . .” dad started to say when the front doorbell rang. I never did find out what he was about to say. I stayed standing next to the kitchen table holding onto one of the chairs while dad went to answer the door. From where I was standing I could see the door and saw right away that it was Tater. As dad stepped aside to let him in I also saw Bull come walking in behind him. They both looked like sugar-frosted donuts.
“Is it snowing?” I asked upon seeing the two of them.
Bull looked in my direction and looked surprised to see me standing up. “Yea it’s coming down like it’s the end of the world!” he said suddenly shaking himself like a dog causing snow to fly off him.
“Hey!” dad said not because Bull made snow go on the carpet but because he was getting it on dad.
“Sorry ‘bout that Mr. Leonard” Bull said and just for good measure Tater gave Bull an elbow dead smack in the center of the stomach but it didn’t even faze him in the least.
“Hey there Spaz! Wow it’s good to see you up and around!” Tater said giving me that smile of his that had once hypnotized me into giving my body over to him. Wow, that seems like such a very long time ago.
“Come on in boys! Take off your coats!” dad said ushering them into the house and closing the door but not before taking another look at the snow coming down out there.
The three of them came into the kitchen and I guess I wanted to show off a bit at how well I was doing. “You guys want a soda or something?” I asked turning and walking to the refrigerator. My diaper started crinkling as I moved but somehow, it didn’t bother me with Bull and Tater being there.
“I’d love a Coke if you have one.” Bull said.
I looked back at Tater who was looking at me kind of concernedly. Dad was standing behind Tater looking even more so.
“How about you?” I said to Tater.
“Anything’s cool.” He said.
I pulled open the door to the fridge again but this time when I did I jerked it instead of carefully opening it the way I had the first time. It hurt . . . it hurt a lot and my body froze for a few seconds.
“Simon you okay?” dad asked.
“Yep.” I said and knew I wasn’t very convincing. “I just moved too fast is all.” I said trying to save a little of my dignity and pride.
Dad came over and helped me. He got out two sodas and pored them into two glasses. While he was poring them he whispered, “You alright there, champ?”
I whispered back, “Yea but I’m not going to do that again.”
Dad was cool that way; I guess dad always had an inside track when it came to situations like that. If I were in major trouble for something he would wait until we were alone so as not to embarrassed or humiliate me in front of others. Mom on the other hand would swat my backside no matter where we were if I was acting up.
I also let dad take the two sodas over to the guys while I braced myself against the counter and tried to breath while attempting to not look as though I was dieing inside. I could tell by the look on Taters face that he was hurting for me out of sympathy.
While I was recovering, a million questions were racing through my head and I knew I couldn’t ask any of them with dad in the room. I made my way to the table and sat down with Tater and Bull. Bull gave me a knowing look when my backside made contact with the chair. He’d heard my diaper for sure that time but aside from his eyes, he didn’t offer any other evidence that he’d heard. Now that I was sitting down it seemed to make dad happy and he excused himself from the room.
The second I knew dad was out of ear shot I said, “You guys did it didn’t you?” There was no disusing my emotions as fire shot from my eyes and smoke billowed from my nostrils.
Tater started to open his mouth but Bull spoke first but in a lowered voice so as not to have dad hear, “Hell no!”
Tater’s head turned toward Bull and from his expression I knew Bull was lying.
“You sorry son’s of . . .” I didn’t get to finish my though as I was interrupted by the phone ringing again. It rang twice and I figured dad must be in the back of the house so I stood up to get it but just as I had got to my feet, about the fourth ring, he came around the corner and picked it up while giving me a look that said I had better just sit myself back down. I put both hands on the tabletop but I didn’t sit down just yet. I was waiting to see whom it was calling. A part of me was hoping that maybe it was Jasper calling back to apologize for hanging up on me earlier. Another part of me was thinking that it was the police and I guess that was caused by my over active imagination thinking they had bugged our house when they’d been here before.
“Hello” dad answered.
“What’s the matter?” his voice changed to one of deep concern.
“Stop crying and tell me what’s wrong honey!” he said and I knew it was mom on the phone and that something was wrong. I don’t know why but the first thing I thought was that somehow Aunt Catharine had died.
“Honey I can’t understand a word you are saying. Please just stop crying and tell me again.”
I looked to Bull and Tater who were both looking at dad intently.
“Are you hurt at all?” there was a pause before dad said, “Well sweetheart that isn’t anything to get so worked up about! Gee-whiz you scared me half to death! I thought you were seriously hurt or something!” dad sounded annoyed rather then upset now and I realized that my premonition of my aunt’s death was way off.
“No, just stay in the Van and I’ll come get you.” He said and hung up the phone without saying good-bye. No sooner had he hung up the phone then it hit him that he couldn’t leave me home alone.
Both Tater and Bull had stood up looking very intense and motivated; almost like two solders volunteering to go into battle.
“You’re mother ran the van into a light pole.” Dad said looking at me while rubbing the back of his neck with one hand and patting his stomach with the other. I could tell he was trying to think of what to do.
I started to sit back down in the chair and as I leaned forward just a bit to balance myself the worst thing that could have ever happened suddenly happened without any warning what so ever. My bowels let loose and in an instant I flooded the back of my diaper. The sound was unmistakable.
All three off them looked right at me and I could feel their eyes on me. I don’t know if I turned red or not but I felt like I’d suddenly shrank to about a foot tall. My brain shutdown completely for a good couple of minutes, at least that’s what it seemed like. My eyes were locked on my dad’s and I saw his expression go from blank, to surprise, to concern and then to embarrassment. Not embarrassment for himself but for me and how I must feel having done what I just did right in front of my friends. Messing myself in my sleep was one thing, messing myself on purpose
Dad looked at his watch and then back at me. In that instant that we lost eye contact the realization of what I’d just done hit me and like someone had opened the floodgates to my soul I felt my eyes swelling up with tears and my heart leap into my stomach.
Bull finally spoke first sounding more grown up then I’d ever heard him be. “Ah Mr. Leonard it’s okay! I have a little brother, Jasper, and he has the same problem all the time!” he turned to me and looked at me almost with a fatherly gaze before continuing. “I help Jasper all the time, it’s no big deal at all Spazman!” He turned back to dad. “If it’s okay I’ll help Spaz here and Tate here can go with you and get Mrs. Leonard. Spaz and I can wait here until get back” The fact that Bull had used Tater’s real name and yet used my nickname didn’t escape my notice.
Despite my best efforts to hold them back, a few of my tears escaped and flowed down my cheeks. I couldn’t handle any of this and without saying a single word I started slowly around the table and out of the kitchen. Dad who apparently didn’t know what to say or how to react to the moment just let me walk right past him.
I heard Bull say in a slightly higher tone, “Really, Mr. Leonard I got this!” and then I heard the sound of one of the chairs being scooted on the linoleum floor.
I had to hold onto the walls as I made my way down the hallway. My legs were starting to shake as I felt the mess in my diaper spreading around with each step I took. I’d made it too my room fairly quickly and had started to close the door when I felt someone pushing on it. I let go and it opened back up. I’d fully expected it to be my dad but it wasn’t. Bull stepped in and smiled down at me, “It’s really nothing to get so upset about, Spaz.” He said in his normal Bull manner.
I still couldn’t talk and I couldn’t look him in the eye. I’d completely forgot that earlier while on the sofa I’d felt the need to poop and had chose to wait instead of waking dad up from his little nap. For the first time in several days I found myself wishing I could turn invisible again. I turned my back to Bull as the tears pored from my eyes. I wished with all my might that Bull would leave but instead he walked over, placed both hands on my shoulders and squeezed lightly before reaching around and hugging my neck softly with both of his bulging arms. I reached up and took hold of his shirtsleeves with both of my hands as I lost complete control of my emotions and sobbed like a baby.
“It’s okay, Spaz buddy, just let it out!” he said softly. He held me for several minutes while my tears and snot soaked the sleeves of his shirt. I wanted so badly to stop crying but I couldn’t. Every time I would try to stop I’d just cry all that much harder. My chest was starting to hurt again and I found that my legs didn’t want to hold me up any longer; had I not had such a tight grip on Bulls arm I am sure would have fell to the floor.
“Let it all out buddy!” Bull said moving one hand and cupping my chin, cheek and ear and pressing my head back against his shoulder.
I finally heard dad’s car start and somehow that was the turning point for me. My tears started to decrease and my sobs lessened gradually. I could hear Bull breathing into my right ear and then he spoke, “You know, Jasper’s had this problem all his life. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to help him get cleaned up. Heck he even did it once in my car when he was wearing shorts. Man it got all over the seat and everywhere. It was a really disgusting mess. I managed to laugh at the thought. Bull gave my neck a bit tighter of a squeeze as he placed his cheek against mine.
“You okay now Spaz, buddy?” he said and I found his voice soothing.
I looked down at his sleeve and saw it was covered in snot. “Sorry bout your shirt.” I said.
He moved his head and arm a bit, “Ah man, don’t sweat that, I’ve had much worst on me. He removed his hand that had been cradling my face and let it drop away only to come to rest right over the front of my pants and diaper. He squeezed and said, “You ready to take care of this now?”
His action shocked and stunned me but at the same time I didn’t react or try to get away. I remembered back to the night I’d snuck out of my bedroom window to go see Jamie. That was the same night they had robbed that store while I’d been in the car. When Bull had been driving me home after my asthma attack he’d started feeling me up in the car and I’d let him.
Without any answer from me he released his grip from around my neck and from my groin; I was amazed my legs held me up. He stepped to my right side, bent slightly and lifted me right off my feet.
My face was only inches from his face. As big as Bull was, I felt like a small child in his arms. Walking over to my bed he gently laid me down and I wrapped my arms over my chest, which was still hurting from crying so hard. He leaned forward and kissed me softly right on the lips. I don’t suppose I was thinking at all while this was taking place; I just lay there and let him kiss me.
His big hands squeezing and then rubbing my arms, his lips pressed harder against mine as I started to kiss him back. Something in me was telling me to stop this but hands were distracting my mind as they continued to explore my body while his lips sucked all resistant out of me. I could tell that he was being very careful not to get too close to my ribs. When I felt his hand cup the front of my diaper again I realized that my penis was straining to escape from my diaper.
He finally pulled his lips from mine. Smiling, he reached out with both hands and took hold of the sides of my pants and started to work them down exposing my diaper. When he glanced at my diaper I read in his eyes that he knew he’d had his intended effect on me.
He leaned toward my face once more, I fully expected him to kiss me again but instead he spoke in a whisper as if telling a secret, “Tater was right, you are one of us.”
Not another word was spoken between us after that. As bull worked at my pant, (I’d forgotten that he could have just unsnapped them on the sides) I lifted my backside slightly and he slid them all the way to my ankles. He placed his hand right over my tented diaper and squeezed. I took a deep breath and held it in anticipation and fear but I was taken completely off guard when he stood up and walked out of my room leaving me laying there, my poop filled diaper exposed and pants down around my ankles. My eyes raced around in my head as attempted to get a grip on the moment and my emotions.
I found myself breathing a sign of relief when I saw Bull come back into view carrying two wet washcloths and a towel. I remember thinking, “How’d he know where to find them?”
Kneeling down beside the bed he raised my shirt and laid the wet washcloths on my tummy, they were very warm to the touch. When he put the towel on my chest I could no longer see to my diaper area so instead I turned my head and stared at Bull who looked to be in a state of complete bliss as he started to remove the tapes of my diaper. My emotions were so elevated at this point that there was no distinguishing one from the other. Instead I just watching his face as he worked and instinctively when I felt him pull the diaper open I lifted my backside off it but he didn’t pull the diaper away just yet. He took one of the wet rags from off my stomach and started to wipe the poop away. I couldn’t see the mess but I sure could smell it. It had a very medicine odder to it and I figured that was due to all the drugs I’d had in my system recently. I didn’t see what he did with the first diaper but I assumed he’d laid it elsewhere when he grabbed the second washcloth and started to use it. This time he started by wiping my boyhood parts paying special attention to my small but ridged member, which I will add, despite not being able to see it past the towel I knew it was pointing straight to the ceiling with immense pride.
I was glad when I saw him finally pull the soiled diaper out from under me so that I could lower my backside again but as I started he slipped his hand under me as if to tell me to keep it up. He then reached over and took the towel from off my chest and dried my entire diaper area before dropping the towel on the floor. Placing a hand over my pelvis he pressed down lightly; I let my bottom rest finally on the bed. Then turning his attention back to the used diaper he rolled it into a nice neat package before leaving it on the floor next to the towel. His head twisted from side to side until his eyes landed on my dresser. Without being told he got up and walked over to it and opened each drawer from the top down until he found the stash of disposable diapers mom had put in there for me. But he didn’t stop at that drawer but continued looking in the next two and stopped when he reached the bottom drawer. I watched in complete bewilderment when I saw him pull out what I instantly knew was a cloth diaper. I’d seen them at school in the nurse’s office and when I saw him reach into the drawer a second time I was curtain what was coming out next and I was right. In his hand was a pair of clear plastic pants with white elastic around the waist and leg openings. I felt like I was suffocating as I watched him stand up and walk back over to me holding the cloth diaper and plastic pants.
He held them out in front of himself as if offering them too me for my approval but I was so dazed to think that those were in my dresser and knew that my mother had put them there without telling me she’d done so was just more them I was able to assimilate so quickly. Wearing disposable diapers was one thing but somehow I felt like this was too much. The message was sent from my brain to my mouth to tell him that ‘No they were not okay!’ but the message somehow never came out. I just laid there looking up the fluffy white cloth and the way the light reflected off the clear plastic. Taking my silence as approval Bull bent over and knelt back down beside me again.
I looked up at him and his smile told me he was enjoying himself so much. I watched in silent awe as he unfolded the diaper and spread it out between my legs before slipping his hand under my bottom to let me know I had to lift up again but I didn’t respond. Instead of saying something he simply removed his hand, took a firm grip on my leg and lifted it into the air along with my bottom. He positioned the diaper in place under me before lowering my leg again. When my bottom made contact I could instantly feel the difference of the thick cloth beneath me.
Next I expected him to reach for the front of the diaper and pull it up over my still saluting penis but instead he looked at me out of the corner of his eye before reaching up and rapping his enormous hand around my small shaft. My penis was lost in his grip and with only a single tug by him my entire body tensed as I exploded in his hand. I could not help but to let out a small cry as my every sense became overwhelmed with spasms pleasure.
With my eyes closed I panted and clutched at my heaving chest. I felt Bull remove his hand from my penis and so I opened my eyes to see him wiping his hand with the towel and grinning like a cat that just caught the canary. Placing a hand on either knee he spread my legs apart and pulled the cloth diaper up between my legs finally and tugged it snuggly over my withering boyhood pinning it into place though now that I am writing about it, I don’t remember seeing him retrieve the pins but I assume they came from the same drawer. In my dazed and euphoric state I couldn’t see the pins but I could tell he was using two on each side. Having only once seen a real baby put into a cloth diaper I knew that normally only one safety pin was used per side but I figured Tater had used two since I was quite a bit bigger then a baby.
Without having me stand up he slipped the plastic pants over my two feet and slid them up my legs, when he got them close to the diaper I raised my diapered backside off the bed and he was able to get them into place. He slipped his fingers into the leg openings and made sure no part of the diaper was sticking out past the plastic before he gave me a pat on the front of the diaper.
I continued lying on my bed totally dazed and stunned by what just occurred. A part of me wondered if this was all just another one of my dreams. I watched as Bull swept up the towel, washcloths and the soiled diaper in his two strong hands before standing up and once again leaving me alone. As I lay there the thought entered my mind that I was now a prisoner of my own yearnings. There is no escape; I’ll never be free again.
Bull returned still smiling blissfully as he sat on the side of my bed. I’d not noticed that he had another washcloth in his hand until he started to wipe my face with it. He did this with the care of a mother, or maybe a lover, I thought. I closed my eyes and allowed him to wipe away the streaks left by my tears and the sweat caused by the intense moment we’d shared.
I only opened my eyes again when I thought he was finish. He was still smiling but differently now. He reached out and just as dad had done put his hands into my armpits and around to my back to lift me up into a sitting position but instead of stopping at sitting up he continued to pull me close to him and I knew what was coming.
He kissing me again, longer this time while he rubbed my back with one hand and held the back of my head with the other. My own arms were rapped under his and my hands were gripping the backs of his muscular shoulders.
When he finally started to pull away I found myself not wanting him to let go. I know it sounds corny, but I felt so good being in his arms, safe even. With his help again I got up from the bed, I had to also have his help to get my balance at first because when I tried to stand I found that I couldn’t get my legs to go together at all. I had to waddle like a duck to get over to the mirror on the back of my bedroom door.
I couldn’t believe what I saw. There staring back at me was what looked to be a slightly overgrown toddler boy wearing a very think diaper. I lifted my shirt up so get the full picture. The diaper was large enough that it covered my belly button in the front and was halfway up my back. I had to stand with my feet way apart just to be comfortable. I didn’t know what to do with my hands, when I tried to let them fall to my side they ended up hanging out due to the diaper. Having worn Goodnites for so long and now disposable diapers, neither of which has any side padding at all, it took me a while to get use to the full circumference protection I was now sporting. The plastic pants were crystal clear which allowed me to fully see the thick cloth diaper that I was wrapped in. Breaking my diaper gaze I looked up into the face of my reflection. I had the biggest, stupidest grin stretched from ear to ear and it made me giggle, though quietly. I turned, rather awkwardly, gave a sinister smile and nodded my head.
Bull came over and stood behind me, “Let’s get your pants on you.” He whispered into my ear, which tickled. He held open my pants down by the floor for me to step into. I held onto the back of his shoulders for support as I lifted one foot and then the other. As he pulled the pants up I realized that mom must have thought a head when she bought these as they fit perfectly over the cloth diaper. Bull tied the drawstring around my waist snuggly and pulled my shirt back down. It was so very obvious that I was wearing diapers now.
At that moment I was so caught up in my emotional flood that it washed all
logic out of my brain. We were no more then a foot apart, I was looking him in
his chest, that’s how much taller he was then me, I moved forward and closed
the gap between us, wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his
muscles. I felt him embrace me, his hands came to rest on my backside and
pressed me toward him before he broke our embrace and brushed my bangs away
from my forehead before saying, “Ten o’clock tonight, be dressed and ready to
go somewhere. Don’t tell your parents or anyone okay?”
I nodded without thinking and said, “Where?”
“Ah don’t worry about that now Spaz-buddy! Um, it’s a surprise!” he said kissing me one more time before saying, “Let’s go sit in the living room and wait for Tater and your parents to get back.”
I was feeling strong, stronger then I had in a while now. I felt like I did that day I had completed the mile. As I walked down the hallway with Bull right behind me I felt as though I was walking a good six inches off the floor. I went to the sofa and with Bulls help sat down, I didn’t lay down this time. Bull put the quilt over my legs and lap before going to the kitchen where he retrieved my sipper-cup and his soda from the table.
He came back; sat down in dad’s chair after handing me my drink and so many questions were now racing around in my head like bees around a hive. I wanted to ask him what was happening at ten tonight. I wanted to ask about the robberies. I wanted to ask if they had killed those two people but somehow I couldn’t bring myself to say anything at all. Instead, I leaned ever so carefully to the side and picked up the remote from the end table and turned the TV back on. I was surprised that it worked after the problems dad had with it after the power came back on earlier. We both sat in silence drinking our sodas and watching a rerun of ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’, which is a show I normally can’t stand. I guess that means that not everyone loves Raymond.
Twenty minutes or so after we’d sat down the sliding backdoor opened. I’d not even heard them pull up in the drive way or the garage door open. Mom came in first looking very shaken up followed by Tater who was obviously soaked to the bone and half a minute after him, dad came in also soaked and looking surprisingly good natured.
Bull stood right up when they came in and went to the kitchen, “Here let me get that for you Mrs. Leonard” he said to my mom as he took her umbrella and closed it for her while she literally dropped her purse on the table and started to pull off her coat.
“Oh thank you dear.” Mom said sounding out of breath.
Even from where I was sitting I could see Tater and Bull exchange knowing glances at each other before Tater said, “You doing okay over there Spazman?”
Without thinking I blurted out, “Yep, I’m just fine! Couldn’t be better!”
Dad looked at me and seemed surprised before looking at Bull and Tater, “Well boys, thank you for your help this afternoon.” Dad reached into his pocket and pulled out some money. He tried to hand it to Tater and Bull but they both declined to take it.
“I can’t take money for helping, it just wouldn’t be right!” Tater said holding up his hands as if being held up at gunpoint.
Bull in turn said, “No thanks Mr. Leonard. Friends got to look out for friends!” he said looking right at me as he spoke. I smiled knowingly when he called me his friend.
Dad stuffed his money back into his pocket and then stuck out his hand to Tater, “Well thank you very much! I couldn’t have got the van home tonight without your help.” He shook Taters hand and then shook Bull’s hand. “And I really appreciate your staying here too!” he was looking Bull right in the eyes as he spoke those words and it was clear what he was really thinking Bull for.
“It was nothing really!” Bull offered back to dad and then looking at me again he added, “Actually anytime you need me to baby sit . . .”
I stopped that right away by shouting across the house, “HEY! Keep it up and you’ll be telling all your friends you got beat up by me!”
Bull and Tater laughed, “Just kidding Spaz! Just wanted to see if I could get you worked up!” Bull said.
“Yea you’re going to see worked up as soon as I get up from here!” and I acted as if I were going to stand up.
“Don’t even think about it!” mom snapped at me.
Dad shook Bull’s hand once more, “Thank you again!”
“Really, it was cool.” Bull assured.
Mom was smiling but I could tell that dad had not told her what had happened here at the house while she was gone. “Yes, thank you both so much!” she said before reaching toward dad, “Let me have your coat and I will hang it with mine in the laundry room to dry.
“If it’s okay, we’re going to go. I want to get home and get out of these wet things.” Tater said sounded very polite, however there was something else in his voice; I wasn’t sure what it was at the time.
Despite Tater being so wet and still covered in snow mom went over and hugged him and gave him a pick on the cheek. “Thank you again.” She said to Tater before walking off toward the laundry room.
“Bye guys! Thanks for everything!” I said as they were leaving out the back door. At the last possible second Tater turned, held up all ten of his fingers and mouthed to me, “Ten o’clock tonight. Be ready!” I got the message loud and clear.
As dad was walking back through to go change I asked, “How’d you guys get so wet?”
“It might be snowing now, but it’s still very wet out there!” dad said before changing the subject. “You two get along okay?”
I got that he was still talking about my unfortunate incident without actually putting it into so many words. I shrugged as I answered, “Yea no problem at all.” I didn’t know what else to say and I was afraid if I said anything else I would end up saying too much. It seemed to satisfy dad and he smiled, “Good! Good!” he said twice before going on back to his room to change clothes.
Mom came back a minute or so after with several old towels in her arms. She started wiping up the floor all the way back to their room and eventually came back out with a laundry basket filled with the towels and dad’s wet things in it. She was obviously taking them to the laundry room when I stopped her.
“Mom?” I managed to catch her just as she was about to leave my sight.
She stopped, turned and looking very tired she answered by raising her eyebrows. “I think I’m going to go to bed now.” I said knowing it was still early yet and that I’d not had dinner either. I was thinking constantly now about what had happened between Bull and I and I so desperately wanted to go write it all down before I forgot any of it.
“Wait for your father to help you.” She said turning and leaving.
Actually I was also going to ask her for another pain pill but instead I decided that it might let on to her that more happened then me just sitting here and dad might think more happened then just Bull helping me get cleaned up. I guess I was feeling guilty and secretive along with a bit of pain all at the same time.
Dad finally returned from changing and after asking for his help he got me to my feet and escorted me to my room without saying a single word about me wearing cloth diapers. He helped me to lie down after making quick work of removing my shirt and pants leaving me wearing just the diaper that Bull had put on me. After tucking me into bed and checking that I’d not used the diaper yet he asked if I need anything else before he left me alone in my room. I told him no as I reached over and picked up my e-book and began to write in it.
I don’t remember actually falling asleep. My intention was to fake that I was asleep until I was sure both mom and dad believed it and then I was going to try to get up on my own and get ready for tonight even though I had absolutely no idea what was going to happen. I fell asleep so fast that I didn’t have time to think about anything. No time to realize that what I was contemplating was absolutely stupid on so many levels.
It was ten minutes after five when I woke up. The emptiness in my stomach had brought me out of the coolest dream were I’d been racing away from the police on a motorcycle. The one odd thing about the dream was that the police officer that was chasing me was also on a motorcycle but he was wearing a blood red wedding dress that billowed like flames behind him as he sped after me.
When I opened my eyes I thought that maybe I was dreaming again because someone was standing next to my bed holding the biggest yellow teddy bear. The bear was so big I couldn’t see who was holding it right away. Finally Jamie’s head appeared from behind it with a big smile on his face. He was also still sporting his raccoon eyes and a bandage across his nose thanks to me. Actually he looked much better then when I’d seen him at the hospital and he looked happier and bubblier then I’d ever seen him.
“I brought you this!” he said bouncing the bear in his arms.
Not totally awake yet I said, “Huh? What the heck is that?”
“It’s a bear you idiot! What do you think it is?” Jamie said sarcastically.
Hearing Jamie's voice brought me the rest of the way out of my slumber. I smiled at him, “Wow it’s . . . it’s big!” I said.
“Yea it is!” he said smiling even larger. “I’ll put it over here!” he said taking it over and sitting it on top of my desk. It nearly engulfed the entire top of my desk. I didn’t have the heart to tell him it was absolutely hideous.