ONE BOY'S DIAPER STORY ====================== MY STORY AS I LIVED IT This is a small part of my growing up in a confused and sometimes embarrassing age when sex was a bad word and diapers were only for soiled babies. The following is a true story that has nothing to do with pornographic material. Even though it contains some abuse it is not about child abuse. It has to do with one little boy trying to grow up in a confused and sometimes hostile environment that was meant to protect him from the world. Instead this protection only developed a immature child that was easily enticed by a few adults. He was raised by a mother that thought little boys were made of 'puppy dog tails and every thing bad' while little girls were made of 'sugar and spice and everything good.' His mother was afraid of his grown interest in sex; she interrupted his sexuality from an adult view point which was a mistake on her part. Children will experiment with immature sex just as they experiment with all other aspects of life and this has nothing to do with adult sexual interests. She used diapers, shame and humiliation to break this boy down to her idea of a 'perfect little man.' These punishments was leading the little boy right into the hands of sexual deprived boys and men and there was no one to help him. This story is only a small window of his first 13 or so years of this 'protected life'. It involves the wearing of diapers far past the age where his peers had wore them. Also there is some infantile sex play. None of this is meant as pornography and should not be interpenetrated as such. The story is true as it happened and should not be changed into a fairy tale. Except for some names and places this is the ways it happened. FACTS -- ABOUT MYSELF 1. I had a wetting problem from early years until about 10 or 11, (partly due to an overly concerned mother who was doing what she thought best for her baby boy). Do not misunderstand, I loved my mother and father, I still do. Dad died several years ago but at this writing mom is still living, she is nearing 95 and still able to care for herself. She is a remarkable woman. 2. I was the only child, no bothers or sisters to compare or confide anything with, I was very shy but friendly to anyone who would bother with me. I had a few close friends. We moved a lot the first 6 years of my life, actually moved to three different schools in two states when I was starting the first grade. That is not easy for a small 6 year old. I would have to play alone at home much of the time. I also did much crying; not that I was so sad, more because I was lonely and wanted to be held in a gentle loving way. 3. When I was about 6 � I was pleasured by a old man who I lovingly called Granddaddy. Then at age 8 years a 13 year old boy had discovered my diapers then had sex play with me. These two males put my sexual system into high gear before I was ready, causing some confusion to my sexual system. 4. In the early years I had to wear diapers because of a wetting problem, this was not a big problem for me, but peeing my pants drove my mother up the wall. She would call me 'pee pants' even in front of my peers. I was in and out of diapers up until I was about 7 or 8. I was bussed many miles to and from school, by the time I arrived home I would have a large wet spot between my legs that could not be overlooked. When my mother began to catch me masturbating (laying on my stomach rubbing myself on the bed sheets) starting when I was about 8, she put me back into diapers almost full time; she did this as a punishment. This punishment no doubt slowed down my being able to control my wetting, I just did not try to stop, I had no reason to. 5. I identified sex stimulation with the wearing of diapers (this was largely due to the gratifying sensations produced while wearing my diapers and my mother's use of diapers as punishment for my nightly solo sex play). 6. My mother's attitude towards sex expressed that it was bad, dirty, nasty, forbidden and even evil. This made any sex play more exciting because of the forbidding attitude. It also kept me from being able to tell when someone would make advances towards me. I could never talk about sex to my parents, they never talked to me except in the negative. In most all other subjects my parents were the best I could ask for. There was a secret mystery about having experienced sexual pleasure. When confronted with the opportunity for sex play I had no will to stop it. However, it always left me with a deep feeling of guilt and if caught, much shame and humiliation. ============================================================ ===== ONE BOY'S DIAPER STORY. The early years - Part 1 Forgive me if I associate diaper wearing with the erotic , I only do it because I could not give this story the truth it deserves unless I included it. It is my life, it happened. Today I can wear a comfortable diaper without being sexual. Sometimes.... As a child I think the second best feeling was getting out of my clothes, having the freedom to kicking my legs up and down, spreading out and stretching like a cat. I can remember one time when I got out of the house and ran down the sidewalk, carrying my diaper in one hand as the warm wind blew around my naked body. Mom told me that it took a couple of little girls to catch up to me and bring me back home. But the first best feeling came after Mom got my clothes off for a bath or bedtime. Mom would look me over with a loving smile on her face, telling me what a big boy I have become. That statement can be taken several ways so I must clarify what I actually mean. My mother was a strict disciplinary person, for her, anything associated with sex was taboo. So when she makes a statement like that she is referring to stature not sexual growth. I loved bath times, Mom was very gentle with me, laid me on the bathroom floor rug and pulled off my clothes one at a time. She made a game out of bath and bed time. The earliest memory I can recall took place when I was 3 years old. My mother had just given me a bath. It had sometimes puzzled me the way mom treated my sexuality in general. She seemed a different person when we were alone such as at bath or bed time. She would get down on the floor with me, talking softly, kissing parts of me I never knew were there. She would blow bubbles on my stomach causing me to go into fits of laughter which, of course, if kept up long enough would make me wet my diaper. I would wait in anticipation because I knew my diapers would soon be soaked then unpinned and removed. She pulled my diaper open and would make a surprised face. If I was dirty she cleaned me up without complaint, if I was just wet she waded the diaper throwing it into a can near the bathtub, later she would wash them. She would never admitted it but I am sure she enjoyed this private time alone with me. Laying naked on the bathroom rug she took time to play with me for a few minutes. That is when the fun would begin. She would lean over the top of me while on all fours, she'd kiss my belly button, then working her way down. She nibbled at my genitals on her way to my toes. I can not believe this was for any sexual purposes on her part. Of course I was just a little kid but my sexual system was operating just fine. I don't think it ever entered her mind that nibbling a baby boy's genitals could trigger arousal. She was wrong. My story begins at this particular bath time; Mommy had just pulled my diapers off allowing me to kick wildly. Before putting me into the bath tub, she gave me the kisses as told above. At that moment, my tiny penis doubled in size right in front of her. I think this gave mom a shock of her life because she had the idea that young children were sexually - 'innocent', (what ever that means). My erection caused her some distress, but my giggling, my enjoyment frighten her even more. She had no doubt that I was relishing it's pleasure. She quickly pulled my hands away. I was utterly dumped into the bath. She was careful how she played with me after that. Never again would she kiss or fondle in like manner again. I could not understand why she suddenly seemed so upset. After the bath she wrapped me in a towel then took me into her bedroom, which was across from the bathroom. She laid me down on her bed leaving me totally naked she went downstairs to get some clean clothes where she left them after doing the laundry. Her bed had this nice bedspread with soft rolls like a rope. This rope made a pretty pattern all over the brightly colored bedspread. Being naked I rolled over on my belly. I liked to roll my nose into this soft rope like thing. Somehow I began to rub myself back and forth. I just happened to have my penis rubbing over the top of one of these nice rope things. It did not take long before I was receiving pleasure as my erected penis rocked back and forth. This method of masturbating would become my practice up until I was about 12 years old and sometimes longer. Up until that time I did not know any other way of self play. You have to admit, it was a very normal way of doing it. When mother returned, and saw what I was doing, she throw my clean clothes every which way. She was horrified. All I said was, "Look at me, mommy, look at me!" I must have been proud of myself for discovering such a nice thing to do. Mom hit me repeatedly. Her arms came at me like two windmill blades. I was confused, even today I wonder why she got so upset. What she did at bed and bath time, was now forbidden. It may just be my own imagination but it seems to me if she thought it all right to kiss me 'down there' telling me what a big boy I am, but why did she get so mad and upset because of my erection? She took me down stairs without dressing me. I was crying uncontrollably . Mommy put me in thick cloth diapers then pinned them very tight. I remember the diaper being so thick my legs would be virtually become bull-legged. She sat me in my old highchair, gave me a bottle of warm milk mixed with sweet dark Kayo syrup in it. That mixture still taste good to me especially if it is warm. By the time my dad got home from work, I had calmed down and was sitting in my highchair eating graham crackers washed down with warm milk. Dad was surprised as you can imagine. He asked mom what was the matter. Why was his son in diapers, drinking out of a baby bottle? "There is nothing the matter." she reported to him, "If he is going to act like a baby he will be treated like a baby." Where she got the idea that I should act some other way then being a baby I don't know. How she connected my having sexual feelings and getting an erection with being a baby I don't know. But that is what she told dad. Mom ruled around our home, she had to be in control. Dad would not interfere when she made a decision, I remained heavily diapered for several weeks. From then on when she gave me my daily bath she no longer spent the time in play. My guess is that mom suddenly realized I was sexually aroused quite easily and she acted as if she regretted kissing me like she did. When ever I was naked she was extra careful not to touch me for any prolong time. However, when I was tightly pinned into my diaper she would rock me, hug me and kiss me. I felt loved but it was too obvious that she had fear of my nakedness. To this day I miss those times, the general physical touching of being babied with loving adult hands. Mom replaced one stimulation with another. She treating me as a baby (which I really was at age 3) gave me a new variety of love, a love that I could not seem to get enough of, that is 'being treated as a baby'. She intended for my diapers to be a punishment but I interpreted it as an enjoyable baby experience. In a short time I actually regressed backward. All potty training went out the window, or should say, into my diaper. Mom would get after me for pooping my diaper. She had to check me often because I would pee without giving her signs of my need. I mean, I went back to age 1 � really quick. THE LONG MOVE New friend - Part 2 I was not in diapers every day but I would regress time to time then mom would pull out the diapers and pins. She caught me when I was about 5 years old sucking on a baby bottle I took away from some kid who's mother was visiting us. I had picked up one of the kids diapers and was holding it up to my ear like a security blanket while sucking hungrily at the nipple of the bottle. When the lady and her kid left Mom put me in a diaper and fixed a bottle of warm milk as she did before. That's right, *act like a baby get treated as a baby.* She told me about this several times after I grew up I think she though it was a joke. She did it as a joke I suppose, but for me it was pure comfort. We moved across the State where dad found new work. Before we left the house for the last time, mom diapered me and gave me a bottle then propped me up between two pillows in the back seat of the car. We were off for the trip. It was a good thing she had me in diapers for such a long trip, I had one mishap after another for the whole way. I developed the problem of peeing my pants if I got excited about something. Other times I just never got the signals that my bladder was full. I would just empty where ever I was at the time. As always putting me in diapers was mom's answer. I could remember to go potty if I had to poop, however, wetting was a different story. We hadn't been in our new apartment very long when a neighbor boy who was about three years older then I, began to notice I walked with a waddle because my legs were spread apart by the thick diaper. One day we were playing together in the empty hall way when, without asking, he thrust a hand inside my pants. I think we both were taken by surprise. I was not prepared for this invasion of my person.... he was not prepared to find a diaper under my pants. At first neither he nor I knew what to say. Then he asked me to show my diaper to him. I pulled my shirt up and let him pull my pants down. He just stared at me shaking his head, "You're too big to wear diapers!" Then he broke out in laughter. I really felt humiliation. But this boy never told any of the other kids. And from time to time he had me show my diapers again. I willingly let him look. Later this same boy was again alone with me in the empty hall. He wanted to show me something. Pulling his pants down he proudly showed me a diaper made out of some old rags that he pinned to himself. He thought it was fun to try it. On days that followed he and I got into other 'games' where underpants or diapers were involved. HORNY OLD MAN Playing with 'Granddaddy' - Part 3 After I started school at age 6 (this was our last move that year) I was not bothered by mom so much concerning ....... will, I was not caught nearly as much. But my bed rubbing continued. My mother paid me less attention after I started school. I suppose that is the reason I would cuddle with any adult that would hold me on their laps. I had no problem finding a lap to sit on. All I had to do, when some of my parents friends visited, was to smile pleasantly, raise my hands toward them, then let them place me on their laps. Soon I would be snuggling up with their arms wrapped around me. I would just lean back and enjoy the attention of being held. One of mom's friends told her I was a cuddlier, she said a child that likes to be cuddled turns out to be loving child. I liked her, she understood me. It was during one of these visits I had my first experience being fondled by an adult man. I called him 'granddaddy' because he had a nice beard that tickled my face when I looked up at him. This man was a kindly old man maybe in his 70's. He always gave me lot of attention when he visited. He would always have some kind of gift for me, should it be only a piece of hard candy or a new toy I did not care. It was he that I loved and found his lap a wonderful place to cuddle up in. Mom and dad both like him, I guess they felt sorry for him too, because he lived alone around the block from us. He came over for supper once in a while, mom was the greatest cook ever, really she was. He liked to whisper 'naughty' things in my ear to get me to giggle. These naughty things were not so bad by today's standards but would be shocking in those days. I won't mention some of the things he said to me. I did not understand much of what he said at the time but I thought he was funny. After telling me something naughty he would laugh and tickle me until I begged him to stop. He knew I wore diapers to bed each night so he whispered to me, "Have you wet your diaper yet?" Then he would feel me between legs. He had asked if my 'peewee' was working OK? When he got me laughing out loud he'd say, "Sh-sh-sh," so mom would not hear us. His hands were always moving over me. He did this feeling of me several times before. It would always leaving me feeling keyed up about it. I said nothing because I liked the feeling and I loved him. Besides my mother always told me to mind my elders, to do what I am told. Granddaddy was one adult I willingly minded. One day, I must have been about 6 � or close to 7, he was looking after me while mom and dad traveled to another town on business. That was the first time we were alone together. While sitting on his lap, Granddaddy gave me the attention I longed for. I knew something was going to happen because of the way he acted. No longer having to whisper in my ear, he just said things out loud that would make a sailor blush. I learned some of the words later had sexual meanings including the 'F' word. I knew he was being naughty with me by the way he looked at me, the way he touched me. He had asked me if I had a diaper on. I told him I didn't have one on; I did but I was teasing him. He got this funny look in his eyes. "You don't have any diaper on?" "What will happen if you have to pee?" He repeated the question the second time. "I will pee on you...!" I giggled. "No, No not on me!", he grabbed me and gave me a tight hug. His hand found its way into my coveralls finding a dry diaper. "AH, you teased me." Then he started to tickle, my bladder let go. The room became quiet but the man kept rocking me with both his arms around me. I felt like a little baby being rocked to sleep. The fact that he had asked what I was wearing or not wearing did not seem to bother me at all. He just asked and I answered. Then he asked, "Sweetheart.... would you like to have diaper changed you seem very wet now? I told him I didn't care. I would have let him do anything he wanted because I loved him. He took me into his bedroom. Without a word he lifted my shirt pulling it over my head and tossing it on the floor, my overhauls were next, leaving me in only my diaper. He had me climb upon the bed and lay on my stomach. Sitting next to me he began to rub on my back. "Does that feel good?" he asked. "Sure, I like it." I was becoming more relaxed as his big hands worked up and down my bare back. Then he began to feel around under my diaper. "I don't.....", before I could finish what I was going to say, he rolled me over onto my back and was fiddling with the two diaper pins. I tried to help him but he pushed my hands away and continued to open my diaper exposing myself to his eyes. As quickly as it takes to tell about it, he laid a hand over my penis, "I have to check you out to see how wet you are." Then he asked me to lift bottom off the bed. As I raised up he pulled my diaper off onto the floor. He stood back staring between my legs, as he looked me over. "Your beautiful, darling. Just beautiful." Something to that effect. Small beads of sweat formed on his balding forehead, "I think I need to wash your bottom it seems to be sticky." Without getting my permission he proceeded to rub his bare hands over my bottom as if rubbing baby oil over me. Playfully he moved his hands over every inch of me. Soon he took a hold of my genitals which increased me to an immediate erection. I always enjoyed having myself touched, but something was different this time. He was shaking as he gently took my undeveloped organ under the palm of his open hand massaging gently making pleasure that effected my whole body. The old man told me every boy should be played with time to time just to keep things working as intended. My sexual system began to turn on. Not even my mother ever looked at me like this man had. He kept telling me nice things like, "You're the most beautiful boy I ever saw." and "Your so cute!" By this time I had begun to swell even more which seemed to make the old man pleased. I could not keep from giggling as the man took me between his forefinger and thumb. I wiggled uncontrollably while his fondling produced waves of electric shock though out my little body sometimes more then I could bare. In a moment I was so stimulated that I could hardly stand it any longer. I tried to pull his hand away but the man would not stop his play. I am not sure what happened after that, I remember feeling like I was floating, my head swam as pleasure took over my very senses. He put a new diaper on me. For some time he rocked me in the rocker. He held me close hugging me to himself. One hand was cupped between my legs. His other hand was gently playing on my belly. I knew I was about to pee. I had wet enough that pee was seeping out my back side and onto his lap. Going through the sack of things my mother left he found another of my diapers. Laying me on the floor he re-diapered me. He talked to me about not telling what happened. I reassured him that I would not tell. I didn't tell him that my mother would have spanked me in an inch of my life if she knew I let him play with me. Besides I had wanted him to do it again sometime. I was rewarded with a hug and kisses. Just before mom picked me up Granddaddy had me fully dressed again. "Mighty fine little boy you have there" he told my mother. She always had good thoughts about this nice man who was so willing to take care of her little boy. I had good thoughts too, he was number one. Up until Granddaddy moved away (I think he died) he would help me relieve my tensions. I would visit him time to time until I was about 9 years old. It took a long time to get over missing him so much. Billy COMES INTO PUBERTY AT 13. Summer Joys - Part 4 I was about to turn 8 years old. Dad got a good job in the lumber mill so we moved into a old house so he could be closer to work. My parents rented the whole back of the house while Mrs. McMarty, an old widow lady, lived in the front. She also rented out a small upstairs apartment. There was a 13 year old boy named Bill that lived with his mother and two older sisters, his house was about two blocks away. Bill did not look as old as 13 but I'd say he was about as tall as one. Bill would be seen playing with younger boys in the neighborhood, I guess he felt more comfortable with us kids then with his peers. Bill was a gentle but clumsy boy that seemed to need someone to love and someone to love him.. His two older sisters were not interested in their little brother, his mother worked all day and his dad was not always around. I liked him a lot. Bill would come over to play cowboys in my yard. Mom thought he was a little too old to be playing with an 8 year old, she'd send him home but still Bill kept coming over to play with me. On those warm summer evenings the neighborhood children would play kick-the-can or hidden- go-seek and other games. We had a street light just out front of our house where us kids would sit after dark telling stories and things. It was during a game of kick-the-can that Bill took me into a small barn up a small incline from my house. Bill must have been horny that evening, I mean, he was acting strangely, reminded me of granddaddy. Once we were safe in the hay loft of the barn, Bill asked me some questions that I did not understand. I was laying on the floor peeking out a crack to watch if the 'it' guy would find us. Bill sat a few feet from me leaning against a post with his legs outstretched towards me. He had a silly grin on his face so I asked him, "Why are you looking at me?" "I know something about you?" he seemed to enjoy keeping me in suspense. "What?" I asked. "Something" he giggled. I was becoming annoyed by this time. "Hey! tell me..." I was not ready for his disclosure. "I see England, I see France, I see your underpants." the teen chanted making me feel uncomfortable as I looked down at my pants. I could feel embarrassment creeping up to my face. "What ta mean, Billy?" I reverted to using baby talk. Bill placed both his hands between his own spread legs, "I know you are wearing... DIAPERS!" He slowly released the words. This is not what I wanted to hear. "Do da wittle baby boy wanta play?" Bill was now picking up on the baby talk. He crawled on all fours moving towards me. I was still laying on my belly looking out the crack time to time. But now my attention was on Bill who had just ran a hand up the back of my leg getting personally close to the bottom of my short pants. Without saying a word he lifted my pant leg and peeked in. "You do wear diapers!" He seemed almost surprised. By this time I was greatly upset by being invaded by this obnoxious teen. Tears began running down my face as I sobbed out of embarrassment. Bill saw I was getting upset so he backed off. "Hey, I didn't mean to scare you." Bill took me into his arms for comfort. "I only wanted to see for myself if you really had diapers on or not!" He then sat resting his back on the wall and pulled me over onto his lap, then began to rock me in his arms. My tears began dry but I still felt embarrassed about his knowing my 'secret'. Another game was being formed under the street lamp, I doubt if they even missed us. We could hear the kids loud talk and laughter as they went off with another hunt. Bill continued to comfort me by rocking back and forth. I had been sucking on my thumb most of time. Bill wiped the tears from my eyes. I did not realize what he was doing until it was too late. He had just wiped my face with his hand when I felt something crawling over my thigh. Bill had just slipped his free hand under my short pants and was feeling over my diaper. I looked up at him pulling my wet thumb out of my mouth. "Why are you doing that, Billy?" I asked. "You'll see" he smiled then leaned down as if to kiss me on the lips. I never had a older boy do that to me before. Sometimes when I sat on my daddy's lap he would kiss me lightly even sometimes on the lips. Granddaddy always did, but I began to feel uneasy as Billy kissed me. Maybe it was the fondling over my diaper or maybe the combination of being touched and kissed the same time, but I felt a tingle between my legs that signaled the coming of excitement. I wasn't sure I wanted Bill to know how I felt about all this. "Can I see your diapers?" he asked as if it was a normal everyday thing. "If you don't tell the other kids, I'll let you see them." Before I could reach for my pants Bill had already pulled them down a ways. "Stand up and let me look." Bill commanded. Helping me get to my feet Bill pulled my short pants all the way off, there I was standing before my older friend in only a white pinned diaper. Bill made several comments that built up my self-confidence. "I like you a lot ...." he never finished but pulled me over towards himself almost knocking me off my feet. He wrapped his arms about my waist and kissed my belly button. "I like you a lot" he repeated. "I like you too" was my answer. I was a bit confused and puzzled by his actions. We played in the barn for another few minuets. Bill was beginning to loose control of himself. He had taken me to the other end of the barn where some hay was stacked up. Then Bill asked me a question, "Have you ever played around.... you know", he took his forefinger of one hand placing in and out his closed fist of the other hand. I looked puzzled as I watched him pump his finger in and out the closed fist, so he explained to me. "You know... have you ever played with yourself?" this time Bill took my hand and ran his finger and thumb up and down one of my fingers. I was only 8 years old but I knew what he wanted. I almost told him about Granddaddy but caught myself and kept my promise. "Sometimes," I answered rather sheepishly. Bill began to get really interested and asked me a few personal questions. He wanted to know if I liked doing it to myself. When I gave him my positive answer he asked some more questions. The same time he began feeling under my diapers. Bill withdrew his hand, "You just peed your pants, er ah diaper". "I couldn't help it." I started to cry again. "It's OK, why are you crying?" "Because mommy will be mad at me, she might see us." I was not so concerned about my wet diaper as I was about Bill's unspoken intentions that I so clearly felt. "She won't see us and she doesn't need to know!" Bill commented with confidence. Bill suggested that I take diaper off and let it dry out. It was a warm summer evening, it would not take too long to dry. I was sure he wanted to play. I had a problem of saying no when opportunity presented itself to me. But I still afraid of being caught. "You will have to pin me up, I can't do it alone". With a smirking smile he remarked, "No problem, I can do it." Bill unpinned me. My diaper was really wet, Billy squeezed as much pee out of them as he could and hung it up to dry. "Wanta, do something while we wait?" the 13 year old seemed more anxious then before. I was about to ask him what he wanted to do, not that I did not know, but wanted him to confirm his intent. Suddenly he laid his open hand over groin. "Have you ever been played with before, I mean by someone besides yourself.?" "No!!" I lied, I know momma didn't mean to do it but then there was Granddaddy that would not stop once he got started. Now an older boy wanted to play and I didn't resist. Bill messed around a few minuets before he asked, "Do that to me, too." He pulled his pants off. I don't remember being too surprised when I saw him, He was bigger than I, so he would be larger. Other then that he was much like me. With my hand I reached out to pull on his. He got frustrated at my inexperience so had me stop and watch him. When Bill finished himself he swore me to secrecy. I agreed never to tell anyone. My diaper was dry enough to put back on. Bill did a good job pinning, but it took him awhile. MY BED ROOM In plain sight - Part 5 My bedroom was not a room at all, Mom had placed a cot in the darkest corner of the living room because our home was a one bedroom house. The fireplace was at the far end where mom and dad would sit before going to bed. Dad would be reading a newspaper and mom would be sewing or what not. They would keep the lights turned down low so I would not be disturbed. At age 8 or closer to 8 � the living room seemed larger then it actually was. Ever since Billy and I were in the barn he would get me in different secret places to play show and tell. This lasted most of that summer. I began masturbating more then before which of course caused Mom attention to turn towards her little boy once more. To keep me from playing with my self she would diaper me for bed with thick layers of bath towels covered with soft flannel then tightly pin the diaper over the towels. I looked so fat 'down there' but I soon learned to swell up my stomach so mom could not make them so tight I couldn't rub inside of them. When I got really hard I discovered I could rock myself by thrusting my hips while holding my diapers so they could not move as much. I could do this by either laying on my back so I could keep a look out for mom. I liked it best by laying on my belly and bouncing to cause the right friction. But this way I could not see mom coming at me. I would be so carried away with my game I would not notice until mom pulled the covers off me. Once she had just pulled the covers off me the very moment I was starting to reach a climax of sort. You know when a boy begins to climax he can not stop for anything. Mom had me fully exposed while I had my climax. I never felt her presents several seconds because of the high the climax put me in. "What in the world do you think you are doing, young man!" She yelled at me while rolling me over. At first I made the excuse that the diaper was too thick or uncomfortable, but she soon caught on and was well aware of what I was doing. She pulled my diaper off, had me lean over the side of the bed where she applied the hand of correction. When she realized spankings were not going to solve anything then she tried other things. One night as I was laying on my belly wildly humping in my diaper, mom caught me red handed so to speak. She was almost in tears that night. She just sat next to me half sobbing asking me, "What am I ever going to do to stop this filthy habit?" "If you don't stop this right away I will be forced to take you to a doctor." What a thing to tell a 8 � year old kid! I developed a fear of doctors. I thought she meant my doctor would cut off my penis. Once a child has a tasted sex, it will take more then threats and punishment to stop it. I often wondered how an adult would feel if they had to give up sex. I really don't think it could be done without a lot of additional problems cropping up. Why would it be any different for a child to give up sex play? I wanted to please my mom more then anything so I forced myself not to allow erections any more. This was most impossible because my 8 � year old body just would not cooperate. This made me most miserable after several days without my night play. Finally after being a 'good boy' for so long I gave into my bodies constant pressure; I rolled over on my belly and humped with more liveliness then ever before. I quickly reached climax, of course, this brought mommy running to my bed. Beads of sweat rolled down my face, I knew I was in for it. I could hardly breath without gasping for air. I began to plead with my mother not to spank me. She pulled all the covers off me, flipped me over onto my back. I could see she was very upset as she pulled the safety pins off my diaper. She did not even wait for me to raise my butt off the bed, she just jerked the diaper out from under me. What happened next should never happen to anyone, especially a little kid. She took my very hard penis into her hand, closed tightly with her whole fist then squeezed for all her might. At first the sensation was pleasant but soon turned to utter pain. I began to cry but mom would not stop, she just squeezed all the harder. Suddenly she pulled upward as if trying to dislodge my weenie from my body. Oh! The pain was more then I could bare, I was now crying and yelling out loud. Finally mommy let go. My penis was limp but red as fire and throbbing like a heart beat. As if that was not enough she gave me several slaps, because of the pain already inflicted I hardly felt the slaps. Needless to say, I came to full realization that mommy did not like my sex play. (it was about time!). When she was done abusing my frontal parts she rolled me back on my belly and proceeded to spank until I was almost blistered. Mom made a rule that I had to adjust to mighty quickly. I would be diapered in a thicker diaper. She would place an extra pad between my legs before tightly pinning on the diaper. This placed so much pressure against my genitals that I could never get good feeling from humping again. I was told that she and only she could remove the diaper. I was to let her know when I needed to poop, if I didn't and I poop the diapers I would get blistered again. If I had to pee it had to be in the diaper. Only she could change me, if I tried to loosen them she would know, that would mean more punishment. It was her strategy that if I had to stay in wet diapers I would not like it, but she was wrong again. I had to wear diapers even to school, no matter of pleading could change her mind. She would take the extra pad out for school, fitted a thin but very tight diaper around my waist then bought me school pants that were a size too big in order not to show the diaper's bulkiness. When I got home from school she would take me into the bedroom and change me back into the heavier diaper with extra padding. I was in diapers for as long as I was in grade school. I was still in them at age 10. During those next couple of years I go so accustom of wearing diapers that I felt naked in anything else. Mom took me to the doctor one time. I must have been about 9 or so that time I had a sore or something and had to be treated. Mom let me wear a new pair of thin briefs. I felt some embarrassment because after being in diapers so long underpants seemed as if I had nothing at all on. I think mom was afraid the doctor would get the wrong Idea if I came in diapers. LOVE, UNDERSTANDING AND ACCEPTANCE New Friend - Part 6 We moved to another house in the same neighborhood. I was now 10 years old. One of my close friends found out I was wearing diapers, you can imagine my embarrassment when not only he but several other boys found out. I was over at his house playing in the backyard. There were several other boys there all within our same age. Tommy and I were wrestling on the grass when I jumped up and tried to run away from him. Tommy grabbed my baggy pants just as he fell to the ground he did not let go, this caused my pants to fall to my ankles. All the kids suddenly stopped their noisy play and stared in silence at one very humiliated big boy in diapers. They all surrounded me pointing their fingers at me while they called me names that was not so nice. I scrambled to pull up my pants. I even tripped falling to the ground in my desperate attempt to run home. As I ran home with tears pouring down my face, one of the boys, Johnny, also 10 years old, came running after me. We stopped next to a large tree, he wanted to talk. He put his arm on my shoulder. "Don't let those stupid boys get to you", he said as he tried to comfort me. I looked him directly into the eyes, "They are stupid, they are!" I could not stop crying. Johnny comforted me as he walked me home. Johnny became one of my best friends after that. He was new to our neighborhood, only recently moved in. Johnny was a sensitive 10 year old boy that had a grownup attitude about things like this. He never once laughed at me but gave me much encouragement at a time I needed it most. My new friend was very serious about what he had to say. Johnny confessed that he too had to wear a diaper most of the time and he understood my feelings about it. His problem wasn't because of punishment but because he had a real bladder problem. I asked him if he liked to wear them, he told me sometimes he wished he didn't have too but sometimes it was fun to wear them. Johnny said, "Only..... Well, you know..... it is better then getting wet pants", he laughed. After a pause he continued, "I'm glad you wear them too! We can talk about it to each other." "I'd like that", I answered. Finally I would be able to talk about my feelings to someone who would know and understand me. All the years I had not been able to do that. And only up until a few months ago I knew no one that had the same feelings as myself. The only other adults besides my parents that knew about my diapers was Johnny's parents. They both accepted me without conditions. One day at his house his mother noticed I was in need of a change, she asked me if I would let her do it for me. She said she had to change Johnny's also. His mother was so gentle with us two boys. She seemed to sense my uneasiness about letting her do it. But when I was laid on the floor beside my friend it made it all right. She used a soft cloth with mild soap to wash us, then patted lightly with a sweet smelling powder. The reason I remember it in such detail is because it was one the rare times I did not have sexual arousal. It was so right for her to take care of our need. His mother brushed our hair with her hands. Her touch was so gentle and loving. I got to wear one of Johnny's custom made diapers that had a perfect fit. We played with our toy trucks on the living room floor that afternoon in nothing but our diapers while in full view of his parents. They treated us both just like any other 10 year olds. It made no difference that we were in diapers or not. I often wondered why some people get so upset when an older child has to wear a diaper, diapers are just clothes like anything else we wear. (aren't they?) Giving much more covering then a pair of flimsy underpants. I continued to use diapers until I was almost 11. Mom had tapered off her demands and was treating me more like a youth then a baby. I was still tied to her apron strings in some ways but was slowly beginning to pull away. I was now beginning to broaden my interests outside the family. A DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE Babies in diapers -- Part 7 I was 13 when a friend of my mothers asked me if I would like to make some extra pocket money. "Sure" I answered I was always short of spending money. That is why I worked so hard mowing lawns and delivered papers so I could make some cash. She told me to come to her house about 7:30 that night, I was to baby sit their two twin boys ages 3 � . I never did this before but mom told me I could try it. She gave me a few tips and a talking about it. I would make an extra 5 dollars and the kids would be asleep most the time. When I arrived Jimmy and Jamie's mother had already given them a bath. She had put on heavy night diapers on both boys with a clear water proof pants over the diapers. Both boys waddled about as they played on the floor. She told me they can stay up a little later tonight because they were excited about my sitting with them. But I had to have them in bed by no later then 9:00. She laid out two little sleepers I was to put on them before tucking them into bed. "Oh!" she seemed to say as an after thought, "don't forget to change them before going to bed, they will be wet, if so the diapers are in the bottom drawer in their room. You will do fine, see you about mid night." She closed the door behind her. I heard the car drive off with the two parents. I turned my attention towards the boys. (I been around these two boys since they were born, this is the first time I been alone with them, however it is not the first time I had seen them in only a diaper. I remember one afternoon going over to their house on some errand for mom. Both boys were about 2 years old then. Both dressed only in a diaper. I almost lost my breath seeing them like that. Even today when I see a walking baby in only a diaper I get breathless. I don't think it is sexual, though it may be, I just think they are so cute. I still envy them.) I watched as the twins waddled around acting like little children do, with their butts sticking out behind them, padded like the modern Rug Rats seen on TV today, they were two of the most beautiful kids I ever saw. For the next few moments I romped with them on the floor. I laid down on the floor letting them crawl all over me. Then I got thinking, I could be a three year old again if only for a few hours. I gave the kids some toys to play with while I looked around the kids bedroom. I found the drawer where their mother told me I would find diapers. I fixed a couple of them together and a couple diaper safety pins and made myself a really swell diaper. I put it on. The two boys noticed I was dressed different but they did not make fun of me, only stared awhile but soon they were crawling over me as before. I lost myself in child like games of rolling on the floor, kicking my legs into the air, laughing and giggling along with the twins. Just then Jimmy did something that thrills me even today; while leaning against my naked chest he pulled at one of my nipples. He seemed sleepy as I held him tightly next to me. Snuggling up next to me Jimmy began to suck his thumb. Jamie was still playing with his toys a few inches away, he seemed continent so I consecrated on Jimmy. I held Jimmy closer giving him all the freedom he wanted to suck his thumb. I made smacking noise like he was making. Without pulling his little thumb from his mouth Jimmy grinned at me while his eyes flashed for joy. He lifted his other hand towards my face sticking his forefinger into my mouth. I sucked it into my mouth licking it lightly with my tongue. He giggled but continued to hold out his finger for me. For a few minutes the two of us continued sucking. We were interrupted by Jamie when he crawled up on my lap pushing his way between my arms and his brother. He started to make smacking sounds with his lips as he leaned closer toward his bothers hand. Pulling his finger out of my mouth Jimmy offered it to his brother who took it like a bottle. It was time for bed so I took the two boys to their bed. I laid them side by side then proceeded to undo their diapers. In unison they grabbed their small penises then wiggled it slowly with their fingers. Jamie kicked his little legs and waved his arms being freed from the restrictions of clothing. His little hand went back to fondling his stiffen penis. Both boys seemed to know just what they were doing. My first reaction was to pull their hands away but I said to myself, "Go ahead boys, I know how you feel." I took my time getting dry diapers under them, even more time pinning them up. After tucking them into their beds I gave them each a warm bottle of milk with Kayo syrup like I use to get. They quickly began to suck the bottles holding them in their little hands. I quietly tip toed out of the room. I found a couple of baby bottles in the kitchen I filled one of them with the same mixture as I gave the boys, screwed on the nipple and went out into the living room where I laid on the sofa. I was on my back with both legs spread out with the bottom of my feet touching each other. Still in only a diaper with one hand rested over my bare stomach feeling my belly rise and fall with each breath. My other hand held the baby bottle to my lips as I slowly sucked the warm milk. I closed my eyes as if I had no care in the world. For the next hour or so I was just a big baby enjoying babying myself. For those who have never experienced this sensation all I can say is you just can't imagine what it is like. To someone who is not capable of reverting to childhood this all sounds pretty gross, no doubt, but it is comforting for us who need to do it. I got up to check on the boys a few times before I settled down with a new full bottle. I must have fallen asleep on the sofa. I woke up suddenly to realize I was still in diapers, damped at that. The baby bottle had fallen to the floor. I had been sucking my thumb. I had less then a minute before the parents would be home. Even while I was pulling up my pants not yet zipped up I heard their car drive up. I had to dump the wet diapers into the wash with the boy's other two. Maybe they would not notice the extra ones. I met the parents in the living room. "How did it go?" was their greeting to me. "OK... All went OK!" I blurted out breathlessly. Just then I glanced to the floor and saw the empty baby bottle beside the sofa. Their mother picked it up. Hot flashes of embarrassment shot through my body, I felt pangs of guilt. I gave some kind of an apology for not getting it picked up. She laughed and told me when I have children of my own I too will be picking up after them. I relaxed. Their dad drove me home. Baby sitting these two boys became my main job for the next two years. I would have been able to sit with them for a longer time but their mother quit her outside job in order to spend full time being their mother at home. I did, however, get to stay with them time to time. I was baby sitting a few other kids also. It was no big deal after awhile; changing wet and dirty diapers became rather routine and uneventful. But I was able to relive some baby time through them.