Kevin

 

“I hate you,” I yelled as I slammed the front door.

 

“Kevin” Mom said, “Come back.”

 

It was no use. Right then, I wouldn’t have gone back for all of the money in the world.

 

I ran down the path, tears streaming in my eyes. It wasn't the nicest day, and it looked as if it was going to rain, but that didn’t stop me. I was out on the beach within 30 seconds. I went straight to my rock. I sat down. Tears continued to stream down my face as I stared out at the ocean. Why? Why me? Why now? Why, Why, Why?

 

I’m probably not making any sense. I’d better start about 30 minutes before now. I’m Kevin, by the way.

 

I was happily watching TV. Suddenly, I had an urge to pee. I ran through to the bathroom, only to find Mom was using it.

 

“Mom, I really need to go,” I said through the door, hoping she would hurry. A small spurt of pee made its way into my underwear. I held the rest back.

 

“Mom.” I moaned, not being able to hold it much longer.

 

“Be out in a minute” she replied, as though everything was right as rain. But it seemed a minute was too long. Within 10 seconds, I could feel the wet patch spreading around my crotch. Warm pee ran down my legs, and pooled at my feet. There was a large puddle at my feet, starting to just soak into the carpet.

 

“It’s too late.” I said sullenly through the door. I don’t know if she understood what I had just said, but it didn’t make Mom come out any sooner. She was right, she really was going to be a minute. I took my slippers off, not liking the wet fabric against my feet. I walked upstairs to my room. I stripped off, and looked at myself in the mirror. There I was, 12 years old, and I had just wet my pants. My legs glistened. I grabbed some wet wipes, and started to wipe off the pee. I grabbed a new pair of underwear, and yanked them on. Mom walked in a few seconds after I had pulled them on.

 

“Oh, Kevin” she said in despair. She knew I didn’t do it deliberately. “Why didn’t you go before? Get dressed and come into the lounge, and we can talk.” I did just that.

 

Mom motioned for me to sit on the sofa next to her.

 

“Honey, I think we need to do something about this.” This didn’t sound good. It sounded like the other ten times this month that she had started the same conversation.

 

“I know it’s not your fault, but we can’t have you wetting your pants all the time.” I began to cry.

 

“It won’t happen again” I said sullenly.

 

“Kevin, honey, how many pairs of wet underwear is it going to take for you to understand that you have a problem. You know that the absorbent pads in your underwear aren’t working anymore.” I shook my head.

 

“It won’t happen again” I repeated.

 

Mom could see that I wasn't very happy about what she was suggesting. Hell, nobody would be.

 

“Kevin, I have been generous so far. I have been patient, I have been calm.” Mom’s voice was getting agitated now.

 

“It can’t be allowed to go any further. I know its not easy, hon, but you really have to accept that you have a problem.”

 

I shook my head, moving away from her.

 

“Tomorrow, I will take you to the pharmacy. Then we can get something to help.” She was speaking soothingly again. It didn’t work. I could see that she was trying to get me to agree with her.

 

“I’m not going to wear them.” I said, raising my voice slightly.

 

“Kevin. We are going to do something about this, and we are going to do it tomorrow.” Mom shouted.

 

I got up and ran.

 

“I hate you.” I yelled as I slammed the front door.

 

So here I was. It was just starting to get dark. Tears continued to run down my face. I stared out at the sea. Ever since I was a kid, whenever I was upset, or worried, or angry, or needed to relieve my feelings, I had always come to this spot. This was my rock.

 

It started to rain. It didn’t matter to me. It may as well have been raining all the time that I was out there. I was too deep in my thoughts for it to make any difference.

 

Mom knew better than to come out and speak to me. She knew that when I was on my rock, I would come back when I wanted to. For all she knew, that could be ten minutes, or five hours. Besides, she couldn’t get to it.

 

The tide was in. I always preferred it when the tide was in. The waves lapped right up round the rock that I was sitting on. I could hear the crash of the waves breaking, and the rustle of the pebbles being dragged out to sea. I couldn’t see, because my eyes were full of tears. It started to rain more heavily. I didn’t mind. I had always enjoyed being out in the rain. I loved the feeling of it splashing on my arms and legs. If I didn’t have trousers on.

 

The church bell struck 8:00. The light was fading.

 

*********

 

I stayed out there until about 10:45. I had peed off the edge at least three times, which really didn’t help my thinking. It was just getting too dark to climb back off my rock. By this time, the tide had gone out a bit, and there was sand on the beach. I took my shoes off, and walked along the sandy beach, liking the feeling of the sand between my toes. I had cried myself out, but it was still drizzling. My clothes were soaked through. I didn’t care. When I got to the path, I put my shoes back on and walked up to our house. I could see that the front room light was on, as was the kitchen. I could see Mom doing some washing up in the kitchen. Dad was watching TV, probably waiting for the news. I let myself in the front door. I had taken my keys.

 

Dad didn’t acknowledge my coming back, but Mom glanced at me. I plonked myself down on a seat in the kitchen.

 

“Kevin, honey, I’m sorry I shouted.” She started, temporarily stopping the washing up. “I’m just getting to the end of my tether.”

 

“Does that mean we don’t have to go to the pharmacy?” I asked hopefully.

 

“I think we need to talk with your father about that.”

 

I didn’t like the sound of that. He was always the strict one.

 

She went back to the washing up, and I went upstairs. I pushed open the door of my room, and noticed my brother lying in bed. I wasn't surprised. I should have been in bed as well, but then, tonight was different.

 

I wasn't sure if he was asleep, so I crept in, trying to make as little noise as possible.

 

“There’s no point in creeping round” he said, not moving from his lying down position.

 

That made me jump.

 

“Where’ve you been?” he asked, inquisitively.

 

“Rock” I replied.

 

“Ah” he said, understandably.

 

“Mom wanted to take me to the pharmacy tomorrow” I continued, tears starting to well up in my eyes again.

 

“And you fought?”

 

“Obviously.” I replied. I stripped off.

 

I should really introduce my brother. His name’s Phillip, but everyone calls him Phil. He’s the same age as me, but isn’t a twin. The thing is, he’s adopted. When I was born, there were complications that meant that Mom would never have another baby. When I was two years old, it was decided that they would adopt a child. They picked a kid two years old in the hope that we would get on well. And getting on well was what Phil and I did best. There is absolutely nothing that I don’t know about Phil, and there’s absolutely nothing he doesn’t know about me. We’re as close as brothers can get.

 

I got re-dressed, and went back downstairs.

 

Mom had finished the washing up, and was sitting the opposite end of the couch from Dad. She motioned for me to go in the middle.

 

“Kevin, your mother tells me you had another accident this evening” Dad started. I nodded, too ashamed to speak.

 

“Well, you know where I stand on this, but there is another thing that I would like to share with you. I admit, I should have told you sooner, but I really wanted to keep it secret.

 

“I should start when I was 10. I had been a bedwetter since the age of 8, and grandma had started to get sick of the wet sheets. It was only when I was 10 that things started to get worse.

 

“It started slowly, just like yours did, but I started to find it hard to hold in my pee. Just like you. Grandma thought I was doing it deliberately; she tried all of the punishments in the book on me. It was only Dad that stopped her. He suggested the same treatment as we have suggested to you. After many arguments, he managed to get Mom to agree.

 

“All I can tell you is that it felt so much better not to have the embarrassment of wet pants all the time.”

 

“What about your friends, didn’t they take the piss?” I asked. Mom glared at me for the use of (in her books) a rude word.

 

“Well, my friends were separated into two groups: real friends, who accepted it as part of me; and useless friends, who sought only havoc about it. And, yes I did get bullied at school, but after about two weeks of it, they all got sick of the fact that I didn’t react to their pressure. Eventually, one kid pushed it too far, and got expelled. That really took the bullying down a notch.”

 

“Kevin, what your father’s trying to say is that it’s not such a big deal. Think about it, he’s been through it, so surely he knows what its like?” Mom said.

 

I was too tired to really argue. And, one thing that they said was right. Wet pants were no fun.

 

“Kevin, I need you to make an adult decision on this.” Dad said. “What is it to be?”

 

“Alright,” I surrendered “I’ll try them, but if I don’t like them, can I go back to the pads?”

 

“That sounds like a good compromise.” Dad said. I didn’t think for a moment that he would keep his end of the bargain, but I had to maintain some of my dignity and pride.

 

“Well, now that we’ve got that sorted out, its time for you to go to bed.” Mom said.

 

I didn’t have the energy to argue. I just walked up the stairs, and into our room.

 

Phil still wasn't asleep.

 

“How did that go?” he asked.

 

“I kinda had to give in” I replied. “But, I suppose, it’ll be better than wet pants.”

 

I stripped off, and grabbed a goodnight from under our sink.

 

After taping it round me, I crawled into bed.

 

“G’night” I said.

 

Phil was already asleep.

 

Mom and Dad continued to talk in the lounge.

 

“I don’t know how well Kevin's going to take this” Mom said, thoughtfully.

 

“Well, if he was anything like me, he’ll be kicking and screaming all the way to the pharmacy. At least he’ll have Phil.” Dad replied.

 

“Yeah,” Mom agreed, “do you plan on telling them about the other side of you that developed?”

 

“Let it be for a bit. Maybe if they start to show signs.”

 

*********

 

I woke the next morning to a wet goodnights. Although this was not unusual (I wet the bed every night), it only seemed to highlight my problem. Although I never thought it would happen, I had hoped that ‘my little problem’ as Mom put it, would dry up overnight. It seemed not.

 

I swung my legs out, and sat on the side of my bed.

 

“Mornin’” Phil said sleepily.

 

“Hey.” I replied, equally sleepily.

 

There we were, two 12-year-old kids, sitting on the edge of their beds, both wearing what seemed to be sodden goodnights.

 

“Wet?” I inquired.

 

“What else?” Phil replied. He was trying to keep my spirits up. I would guess that Mom had put him up to it, but I suppose I’m just too suspicious.

 

I got up out of bed, my goodnights sagging. I walked over to our bin, and carefully removed it. It made a dull ‘thud’ in the bottom of the metal bin. I grabbed a wet wipe, and wiped up my entire diaper area. When the smell of stale pee had been replaced by the cool, antiseptic smell of the wipes, I walked back over to my dresser. I grabbed a pair of underpants, savouring the feeling of the thin fabric.

 

I grabbed some other clothes, and made my way downstairs.

 

Mom was sitting at the table in the kitchen.

 

“How’re you feeling?” she asked.

 

“I’m ok” I replied, obviously not ok.

 

“Well, I thought I would make pancakes today, as a treat.” She said.

 

This was good news. Pancakes are my favourite for breakfast. I have to admit, this did put me in a better mood than I otherwise would have been.

 

Ten minutes later, I had a plate of steaming pancakes in front of me. Glancing to my left, I could see a similar plate-load in front of Phil.

 

“You get those down you, and you’ll feel a whole lot better about our shopping trip this morning.” Mom said cheerfully.

 

The mere mention of our trip almost sent me into tears. She sat down in-between me and Phil. For some reason, Phil seemed upset too.

 

“Have you told Kevin yet?” she asked Phil.

 

“Could you?” he replied, fighting to hold back tears.

 

“Ok.” Turning to me, she said “Kevin, honey, Phil had an accident yesterday.”

 

I tried to interrupt.

 

“No, let me finish. I talked to him about it. He was on his way home, and he wet his pants whilst cycling. He knows what its like for you.

 

“He and I made a deal yesterday. He would accept the solution if you did. You did, so I want you to know that your brother will be there all along.”
I turned to him.

 

“Is this true?” I asked, unbelievingly.

 

“Obviously,” he replied.

 

So that was why he was interested in if I had resisted yesterday.

 

*********

 

We were in the back room of the pharmacy. Just as Dad had said, I had kicked and screamed the whole way. Metaphorically that is, I didn’t actually do any screaming. What with knowing the owner, we could ask to be in the back room.

 

“Well, boys, I think you’re being very grown-up about this whole thing. Believe me, you’re not the only boys your age who have this problem. I can’t give you any names, but I have at least five others who have bought diapers from me.” Mrs McAdder, the pharmacist said.

 

I looked a Phil.

 

Phil looked at me

 

“Have you decided on what type of diapers you want?” she asked Mom.

 

“Yes. We don’t want to use disposables all the time, what with them being harmful to the environment, so cloth whilst at home, and disposables for outings.” Mom replied, in a businesslike fashion.

 

“And do you want to continue the order of goodnights, or do you want to replace them with cloth diapers too?” Mrs McAdder asked.

 

“We’ll switch over to cloth, I think. No point in using cloth during the day and disposables at night.”

 

I sighed at Mom going into so much detail about our diaper usage. She didn’t embarrass us deliberately, just she didn’t realise that she was embarrassing.

 

“Now, it’s a long time since I was doing diapers, so I’m out of touch with how many they will need. How many would you suggest?” Mom asked.

 

“Well, you’ll want daytime diapers and night-time diapers. When I last checked, the recommendations were three dozen daytime, and two dozen nighttime. I have to say, however, that it is always better to have more than less, so I would advise, say forty two daytime and thirty night-time each. That makes eighty-four daytime and sixty night-time between them.”

 

I didn’t have a clue how Mom expected us to go through so many diapers, but it wasn't up to me, so I just had to accept it.

 

“Well, I have thirty of each in stock at the moment, and I can expect to have the next delivery within two working days, so I can have the rest by Tuesday.”

 

“Sounds good.” Mom said. “Is there somewhere in the store that I can change them now?”

 

Oh great! Not only was I going to be wearing diapers, I was going to have my first one put on in the back room of the pharmacy.

 

“Oh, yes” Mrs McAdder replied, “You can use the family bathroom. It’s right through there.”

 

“Right, boys, if you go through, I’ll get the stuff and we can have you in your first diapers in no time.”

 

We went through into the bathroom. It was huge. I noticed that the changing table was larger than the normal ones, as though designed to fit an older kid. In fact, it looked big enough to hold me and Phil.

 

Mom joined us after a couple of minutes. She had in her hands four diapers, a container of diaper pins, some powder and two pairs of plastic pants.

 

“Who’s going first?” she asked. I glanced at Phil. I could tell that he wasn't overly keen on going first.

 

“I will,” I said with about ten times the amount of confidence that I actually had.

 

“Ok, up you get” she motioned for the changing table.

 

I removed my clothes, leaving only my shirt on.

 

Just as Mom was powdering me, Phil mouthed a ‘thank you’ to me. I smiled weakly, and mouthed a ‘that’s ok’ back.

 

Mom finished powdering me, and got out one of the daytime diapers that she had got from Mrs McAdder.

 

“Lift up” she said. I lifted my butt, and she slipped it under.

 

As I put my butt down on the diaper, I couldn’t help but notice how soft it was. It was much like sitting down on a pillow. As soon as I caught myself thinking this, I removed the thought from my mind, and went back to hating the fact that I was going to be wearing diapers. She pulled the front of the diaper between my legs, and again I was bombarded by that same soft feeling. Again, I purged the thought. She pinned the diaper on, and then she grabbed a pair of plastic pants. I thought for a moment that she would just hand them to me, and let me pull them up, but, no! She wanted to do it herself. She slipped them over my feet and right up to my diapers. Again, I lifted my butt so she could slide them over my diaper, and then she checked that it was all tucked in round the edges.

 

I then climbed down from the table, and Phil got exactly the same treatment.

 

*********

 

Mom bought us some bigger clothes that would fit over our diapers, before taking us home for lunch. Dad was there, which was unusual, but not unheard of. It turned out that he had taken the day off work to support us on our first day in diapers. He had gotten all the stuff out (we never usually had a main meal at lunch, just sandwiches and salad and stuff), and it was all ready when we got home.

 

“Do you two need to go and get diapered before we eat?” he asked. It seemed that he hadn’t noticed the (in my view) humungous diaper bulge that was protruding from our crotches.

 

“Uh, we’re already in them.” I replied.

 

“Ah” Dad replied. I don’t know if he knew, and just asked to keep our spirits up, or if he genuinely didn’t know that we were already diapered. (But, given his past of wearing diapers, I would say that he knew, but was being tactful!)

 

We started to eat.

 

“So, boys, how’re you finding life in diapers?” Dad asked between mouthfuls of cheese.

 

At that point, whining was going to do no good, so I just answered a dull “They’re OK”. It seemed that Phil couldn’t even manage to say anything. He just sullenly looked at his food, pushing some lettuce around his plate with a fork.

 

“But, Dad” I continued, “Do we really have to wear them?”

 

“Listen, kiddo, if I didn’t think that you needed them, then I wouldn’t have told you about when I was a kid. I know that it’s hard, but you just have to accept it as part of your life.”

 

I still wasn't satisfied. Sensing this, he continued

 

“Are you wet?” he asked. I nodded, hanging my head in embarrassment.

 

“And how long did you have of warning?”

 

This was a hard one. “Twenty seconds … maybe” I replied.

 

“And would that have been enough to find a bathroom and use it?”

 

He had a point, as well as having blown my complaint out of the water.

 

“I suppose not.” I replied. It seemed that it was the right thing to do; I just didn’t want to accept that it was. I went back to pushing food round my plate.

 

After another ten minutes of pushing my salad around my plate, Mom said that we could leave it. We were never usually allowed to leave anything.

 

*********

 

The evening seemed to come far too quickly. What sickened me was that Phil didn’t seem too bothered about the diapers. I mean, sure he was slightly embarrassed, but he didn’t seem down at all. I, however, was at the lowest of lows. I still couldn’t get to grips with the fact that I was going round the house in diapers. Mom had changed me after lunch, and I had spent the afternoon sulking in our room. Phil had been doing all sorts of things. He had even ventured out into the sunshine in some shorts, and sat on the front lawn.

 

I suppose I wasn't as down as I liked to say I was, but I was hugely confused.

 

You see, part of me said that I hated the diapers, and that I would do anything to get them off. Diapers are for babies. It thought. But then, part of me liked the feeling. It liked the sense of security the diapers gave me. They made me feel like a little kid again. They reminded me of the good times that I had had when I was just a kid.

 

*********

 

Mom walked in the door. I snapped out of the trance that I had gotten myself into, and looked at her. She was carrying a bottle of baby lotion.

 

“I don’t need changing.” I said, presuming that she was going to change my diaper.

 

“Who said anything about diapers?” she asked. “I was just going to offer you a back rub”

 

“Do you want one?” she asked.

 

“Uh, OK” I replied. It wasn't really very often that Mom offered to give us back rubs, so we just had to make the most of it when she did.

 

I pulled my t-shirt off, and flung it on the floor. Then, I lay down on my front on my bed. Mom closed the door, and came over to lean over me. She opened the bottle of baby lotion, and squirted some into her hands. She rubbed her hands a bit to warm the lotion up, then started to work on my back. Instantly, I could feel that it was a lot tenser than I had thought. As she worked her hands across my shoulders, I could feel the tension ease.

 

“Something’s wrong” she stated. It wasn't as though she was asking me if something was wrong. It was just: Something’s Wrong.

 

She was prompting. She had done this before to get stuff out of me. She would just keep mentioning it until I told her what was on my mind, usually because I was starting to get annoyed at the persistent references to it.

 

“I don’t know” I said, not really wanting to talk about it.

 

“What don’t you know?” she asked in a comforting voice.

 

“About the diapers” I replied. “I mean, I know they help, and will stop me from having wet pants all the time, but I just don’t feel right in them.” This was not really the truth. I did feel right in them; I just didn’t know why I felt right in them.

 

“Well, what doesn’t feel right?”

 

“Just the whole diaper thing. I mean, I’m 12. I shouldn’t need to wear diapers to stop me from wetting my pants. I mean, it’s bad enough having to wear them at night, for bedwetting, but during the day as well?” I replied, sighing.

 

“Ok, so, what would help you feel right about them?” Mom asked. By this time, she had reached the bottom of where my rib cage is.

 

“I don’t know. I guess I’ll just have to get used to them.” Then, I said something that surprised me.

 

“I have to say, I kinda like them.”

 

“Oh,” Mom said, raising one eyebrow. “What do you like about them?”

 

“I … uh …” I had got myself into a corner. “I just like the … uh … security of them.” I mumbled.

 

“Well, they are better than you going round wetting your pants.” Mom said, finishing my back. “But I don’t understand how you went from them ‘not feeling right’ to you ‘kinda liking them’ in under thirty seconds.”

 

I blushed red.

 

“I guess they do feel kinda right” I replied.

 

Mom just nodded and went out of the room. I continued to lie on my front and think.

 

*********

 

“Kevin, its time to get up, hon” I heard through the fog of sleep. I battled with my grogginess.

 

About two weeks had passed since Mom had first put us in diapers. Both Phil and I had got used to it, to a certain extent, and were less embarrassed about wearing them around the house. We had had the other deliveries from the pharmacy, and were now fully stocked up on diapers. However, we still hadn’t got used to wearing them out and about. I would still look around when in public, wondering how many people knew about my diapers. I suppose I was just paranoid, as it never seemed that anyone knew.

 

My feelings towards the diapers seemed to have grown. I had now almost completely got rid of the part of me that said that diapers are only for babies, and I had started to really enjoy my new freedom from needing to be near a bathroom.

 

“Kevin,” she said again, sensing that I was drifting off again. “You need to get up.”

 

“Alright” I replied, “I’m up.” She made sure that Phil hadn’t gone back to sleep, and then left the room. It took me a full ten minutes to ensure I had full control of my senses. I could feel the mass of sodden cotton wedged between my legs. Unless I was mistaken, I had wet fairly recently, as it still seemed to be warm.

 

I stood up, and headed to the sink in our room. I glanced in the mirror, noting the twelve-year-old in a soaking diaper looking back at me. I ground my knuckles around in my eyes, trying to clear the white haze that still accompanied my vision. I exited my room, and went downstairs. Dad was sitting at the table. Mom was cooking breakfast.

 

“Do you want anything cooked?” Mom asked.

 

“Make me something nice” I replied. I’ve never been any good at making decisions at that time in the morning.

 

“How come I had to get up so early?” I asked.

 

“Your cousins are coming over, remember?” Mom replied, tossing what looked like a pancake in the frying pan.

 

“Oh, yeah” I replied, vaguely remembering a conversation we had had the week before. I glance out the window. It was drizzling, although I have never minded the rain.

 

After I had finished breakfast, I went back upstairs. Mom followed, and changed me out of my soaked nighttime diaper.

 

She pinned two of the significantly thinner daytime diapers on me. I caught myself thinking about how I missed the bulk of the nighttime diapers, but naturally stopped myself from thinking it. Perhaps I had got used to feeling right in diapers, but not actually preferring the nighttime ones over the daytime ones. Just as Mom pulled a pair of plastic pants out of the draw, I had a sudden thought. What would it be like to have her put my plastic pants on? She held them out for me to take and put on.

 

“Uh,” I asked, nervously, “could you put them on for me?”

 

She just looked at me for a few seconds, and then complied, and pulled my plastic pants on over my diapers. She went downstairs to change the washing load.

 

I decided that I wanted to go out in the rain. I had always liked the rain, and as it was starting to get harder, I thought I would enjoy it before it blew itself out.

 

I grabbed an entire set of waterproofs from my wardrobe, and went downstairs.

 

“I’m going for a quick walk” I stated as I walked into the kitchen. Mom just nodded at me, agreeing with the waterproofs. I pulled them on over what I was wearing, and grabbed my Wellington boots. Ensuring that my plastics were outside my boots, I stepped out into the rain. I decided to go off to the beach. Tides were such that the tide was almost completely in at this point in the morning. I walked to the cliff above where the beach would be if the tide had been out. I glanced out to sea, noting a smallish motorboat making for the moorings. Not the sort of day that you want to be out at sea. Unless, of course, you’re suicidal. I started off along the costal path, stopping every now and then to stare out at the sea. When I got to Albert’s bench, I sat down on it, and started to think.

 

*********

 

I guess I must have been sitting on the bench, sorting my thoughts for a good hour or so, when I heard hooting behind me. I turned around to see my aunt’s car on the road. Apparently they had seen me sitting at the edge of the road, and had stopped to offer me a lift.

 

As I neared the car, my aunt wound down the window.

 

“Do you want a lift back?” she offered.

 

“Nah, I’ll walk. Be a shame to make the inside of your car all wet” I replied. Besides, I had just a few more thoughts to sort.

 

“Ok then, see you in a bit” she said, whilst pulling away.

 

I sighed, not knowing if any of them knew about my diapers. Then, starting up my brain again, I set off home.

 

*********

 

I met Phil above our beach. I was not the only one who liked to walk in the rain.

 

“Time to go home” I stated. He nodded, still looking out to sea.

 

“Something on your mind?” I asked.

 

He nodded again.

 

“Something you want to talk about?” I suggested

 

“Later.” He said, turning round and looking at me for the first time since I met him. “As you said, time to go home.”

 

We both set off up the final bit of hill towards the house. I thought about what Phil had said. Or not, as the case may be. There was something on his mind that he wanted to talk about. But he wanted to talk about it later. I wondered if it might be something to do with the diapers, but I couldn’t be sure.

 

We saw our aunt’s car in the driveway when we got home.

 

“We’re back” I yelled as we walked in the back door. After stripping off my soaked waterproofs, I stepped out into the kitchen. The day was getting steadily worse, and the rain had hardened since Phil and I were at the coast. It looked as though it was going to be like that all day, so Dad had lit a fire.

 

Mom walked into the kitchen, and pushed the door to.

 

“I’ve told your aunt about your problem, and I she’s told your cousins. If you get any stick for it, just let me know, and we’ll sort out the offender.”

 

I was astounded, but then, I suppose it was better than trying to hide it from her.

 

We just nodded.

 

“Do either of you need a change now?” she asked. I nodded. I had wet my diapers many times since I set out that morning. I could see that Phil was nodding too. Mom just went out the door and upstairs. We followed. After a quick diaper change, it was time to meet the family.

 

*********

 

As was usual to meeting such as this one, I was forced into a round of hugging. Needless to say, I noticed when my aunt squeezed my backside. It seemed she wasn't disappointed, as she didn’t say anything about it.

 

Two of my cousins, it seemed, would need no prompting to keep quiet. As they were about the same age as me, I suppose they knew what I was going through. However, Josh, the youngest one at about eight, wasn't so understanding. At the first possible moment (when we all went upstairs to get a board game out) he started making snide comments about our diapers.

 

“So, how are my two baby cousins? Do you need your diapers changed?”

 

Now, I’ve never been one for dobbing someone in, but I made a mental note that if he made one more comment, I would speak to Mom.

 

A couple of harsh looks from Jess and Jim made sure that Josh didn’t say another word for the next few minutes. We picked out a board game, and barrelled down the stairs to play it.

 

*********

 

After a couple of games, and a humungous lunch, the kids (Jess, Jim, Phil, Josh and I) all went upstairs to our room. We talked for a bit about how things were going, and it seemed that the mere presence of Jess and Jim made sure that Josh was on his best behaviour. However, it seemed that he was destined to slip up.

 

Phil had communicated to me that he needed a change, and that he was going to get Mom. Jess had gone to the bathroom herself, and Jim was busy talking downstairs with my parents. As soon as they were all out of earshot, Josh started to comment on my diapers again.

 

“Ah, does the wittle baby need his diaper changed? You know, you must be a real loser to have to wear diapers. If I went to your school I could have so much fun …”

 

“Alright, young man, you’ve asked for this.” Aunt Jane said as she burst through the door.

 

“Kevin, hon, would you mind getting a couple of your old goodnights out of the cupboard?” she asked. Josh had gone pale.

 

“Oh no, not this” he started to plead. “Don’t make me, I was just joking” but all his pleas fell on deaf ears. He had started to bully at school, and had got into a number of fights with other kids. It seemed that Aunt Jane was at the end of her tether about him.

 

“There’s no point in trying to get out of it, we did warn you when we were on our way over. If you made one comment about your cousins’ problem, you would be made to feel like them.”

 

Now he started screaming, and lashing out at anyone who got near. Aunt Jane just calmly called down the stairs for my uncle. He came up, and started to take control of the situation. He managed to get Josh over his lap, and gave him a warning slap. This seemed to dampen the kicking and screaming. He then calmly took a goodnight from Aunt Jane, and taped it around Josh.

 

“Now, Josh, if you even think about taking that diaper off, there will be serious trouble. Do you understand?”

 

“Ye… Yes” he mumbled through his tears.

 

Aunt Jane picked up his trousers, and folded them, taking them downstairs with her.

 

“Now, we were just thinking of playing another game. It’ll be ready in a few minutes, so I expect you to be down there.”

 

We all nodded.

 

“I’m not playing” Josh said, sullenly.

 

“Oh yes you are. You are not going to sit up here, moping around your cousins’ bedroom feeling sorry for yourself. You will engage in all the usual activities. And that includes games.” The tone in Uncle Al’s voice stated that there would be no arguing about this point. So, with tears streaming down his face, Josh left the room, leaving us alone.

 

“I thought you were going to get Mom to change us.” I asked Phil.

 

“Well, Mom was busy, so Aunt Jane said she would come up. But then there was the whole Josh incident, and she must have forgotten.”

 

“Well, I don’t know about you, but it doesn’t look like it.” She said from behind us, making us both jump.

 

“Get up on the bed, and I’ll change you.”

 

We both got changed, and then joined the rest of the family to play games.

 

*********

 

The weather that day got worse and worse. From just a small amount of rain in the morning, by the evening it was a full-blown thunderstorm. There were reports of roads being flooded, and the traffic being terrible.

 

This, of course, sparked much discussion over my aunt and uncle’s trip home. In the end it was decided that they would stay the night, as nobody wanted them to be in such treacherous road conditions.

 

Josh, it seemed, was all against this.

 

“But, Dad, we’ve got a four-wheel drive. Surely we can still get through” he whined for at least the tenth time.

 

“No means no, Josh. We are very thankful that your aunt and uncle have invited us, and we don’t want to seem ungrateful.” Again, Uncle Al’s tone stated that there would be no argument.

 

*********

 

After about half an hour, I started to notice Josh twitching. It seemed as though he had ants in his pants. Of course, that wasn't the case. It soon became obvious to me that he needed to pee. I could see the discomfort on his face, and he kept glancing at Uncle Al as though scheming to get out of peeing his diaper. After about ten minutes of this, he finally gave up, and committed himself to wet the goodnights. I could see a look of relief come over his face, and could just about make out the sound of his pee splashing against the inside of the diaper.

 

As soon as he had finished, he went over to Aunt Jane. He leaned over to her ear, and whispered something.

 

“Oh, no, sweetie. I’m just in the middle of reading my book. I’ll change you in a bit.” She said, loud enough for everyone to hear. Josh, of course, went bright red at this. I smiled, and went back to reading my own book.

 

*********

 

When Josh finally did get a change, it was decided that Phil and I would have one too. This time, Uncle Al came up with us to ensure that Josh was no trouble.

 

Aunt Jane changed him first.

 

“Do I really have to wear another diaper?” he asked.

 

“Well, dear, there would be no point in letting you have your underpants for only an hour. You may as well put a goodnights on ready for bed now. Then there’s less changing later.”

 

Josh went bright red.

 

“Mooom,” he whined, “You said you wouldn’t mention that.”

 

“Well, as far as I remember, you said you wouldn’t mention your cousins’ diapers, but you didn’t honour that did you?”

 

With that, he accepted that he was in fact going to be diapered, whether he wanted to be or not.

 

After finishing up with Josh, Aunt Jane motioned for Phil to get up on the bed.

 

*********

 

The weather in the morning was much nicer than it had been the night before. Although it was still raining, the monstrous thunderstorms had passed, and it was safe for my cousins to drive home again. Ever since josh had been diapered, he had not said a word about either of our diapers. He was diapered in a goodnights just before they left “just in case”

 

“Well, Kevin, its been lovely seeing you, and I hope to see you soon” my aunt said as she was climbing into the car. We were standing in the doorway to stop us from getting wet. I waved to our cousins, and they waved back as Uncle Al drove out of the drive.

 

Within a couple of minutes, their car had disappeared into the rain. We went back inside, and mom went off to do some housework. Dad had gone out to work again (“it may be the summer holidays for you boys, but I’ve still got to work for my living” was one of his favourite phrases during the long school break), so it was just us three. I asked mom if I could go out into the rain, so as to have some more time to sort my thoughts. Phil decided that he’d join me, and after putting on our plastics, we headed out into the rain.

 

When we got to the top of our beach, I decided that I would start the conversation that I knew we were both thinking about.

 

“You said yesterday that there was something on your mind?” I asked

 

He instantly started to gaze out to see.

 

“Well,” he said, “it’s hard to explain, and I’m kinda worried that if I tell you, you’ll freak out and start to think me really weird.”

 

There was a pause.

 

I could just about make out a tear running down the side of Phil’s face, almost blending in with the rain.
”Well,” he continued, “since we’ve been in diapers again I’ve, well, kinda, got used to them.” He said, pausing again to stare out at the sea.

 

I think I knew what he was going to say, but I waited for him to finish his explanation. Even though I could tell that he was having a hard time, I refrained from saying anything.

 

“Well, over the last couple of days, I’ve really realised that… well …” he faltered. “and I have kinda grown to … … well … like them. You don’t think I’m really weird do you?”

 

I paused for thought. If Phil was feeling the same way, then I had no reason to hide it from him.

 

“Erm … well …” I started “I’ve kinda felt the same way since we started wearing them. I like the way they make me feel.”

 

For the first time since the beginning of the conversation, Phil looked over at me. I could see that he had been crying, and his eyes were red from both that and the chilling sea wind. I gazed back. I saw a smallish smile start to form on his face. Despite myself, I started to smile too. I walked over to him, and embraced him in a long hug. He hugged me back.

 

“I never knew you felt the same way” he said, audibly more relaxed.

 

“Yeah, me too” I said.

 

Then I saw a flicker of doubt cross his face. “Do you think Mom knows?” he asked.

 

“Well, she knows about me,” I said, “and I would guess that she knows about you as well, but I can’t be sure.”

 

He gasped. “How does she know about you?”

 

“Well,” I started, “she kinda made me admit it to her. She used the old ‘Something’s Wrong’ technique” I explained. “Don’t think that she knows about you yet though, but I wouldn’t put it past her.”

 

He thought for a couple of seconds. Then

 

“How am I going to let her know?”

 

“Well, you could just come out with it, or you could wait for her to prompt” I offered.

 

“Yeah, I guess so”

 

We split up at that point. I still had quite a lot to think about, especially with Phil thinking the same way as me. I walked down the coast for a bit, getting to the same bench as the day before. I sat down, and started to think.

 

*********

 

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