Baby Vacation

	It was the summer when I turned ten and my brothers Billy age 
four and a half and Timmy age three and a half. My dad died three years 
ago in a plane crash and mom had collected a lot of money and did not 
need to work. She could just take care of her boys. She was a teacher. 
She had a math, science, English, and history degree. She could teach 
eliminatory or high school she had been home schooling us and we were 
years ahead of the kids that went to school. I was doing tenth grade 
school work Billy was doing second grade work and Timmy was doing 
kindergarten work.
	Mom had rented a beachfront condo and on the way there I was so 
excited I could have my own room and be with my baby brothers like at 
home. Mom told us she has ordered bunk beds to be delivered when we get 
home and Billy and Timmy would get out of their crib and toddler beds. 
Timmy and Billy were slow at potty training and were just potty-trained 
two months ago and totally potty independent, needing no reminders, 
unlike me. I have always needed to be watched after or I would have an 
accident in my pants.
	My brothers thought it was funny mom always asked me if I needed 
to go and she did not ask them. They did not know I was an every night 
bed wetter because mom helped me keep my secret. Mom would put a size 5 
or 6 Pamper on me what ever she had. I was so small for my age that 
they both worked. Then in the morning before my brothers woke up she 
would remove my diaper and get rid of it so my brothers would not find 
out.
	I was wearing a Pull-up on the long drive to the condo since I 
could not hold my pee no longer than forty-five minutes. My brothers 
could hold their pee for three of four times as long as I can. They did 
not know about my problem and mom help me keep my secret. By the time 
we got to the condo I had wet my Pull-up twice but it did not leak. We 
unpacked our stuff and I found my room, it had a beach patio and I 
could go on the beach anytime I wanted.
	After we unpacked and had everything put away mom told me we had 
to go to the store and get some food and things. I asked if I could 
stay at the condo while she did that. She told me it would take three 
hours since the store was so far away. I asked if it would be OK for me 
to stay here. She told me she would set the alarm so if any door or 
window was opened the alarm would bring the police so I had to stay in 
the condo and lock the doors.
	After she left I looked around and found some funny things in the 
dining area, such as a large highchair. I got in to it and sat down and 
found it almost too big and did not put the tray on. It was too heavy 
for me to get in the chair and hold at the same time. I put everything 
back like I found it.
	I walk to my room to change out of my wet Pull-ups and go to the 
bathroom because I felt a little needed to poop. I looked in the room 
across the hall from my room I opened the door it looked like a 
nursery. I walked in and found a large crib and large baby things. Then 
I remembered mom told me the people that owned the condo had a little 
boy that was mentally handicapped he is nine-year-old but is like a 
two-year-old.
	I found real cloth diapers that were big enough for me and baby 
clothes of all kinds sleepers, play suits, baby T-shirt with snaps all 
over them, The sleepers had mittens and feet on them and look like they 
would be fun to sleep in. Then I had and idea, I could try some of 
these clothes on just to see what it would be like.
	I ran to my room and removed my clothes and dropped my wet Pull-
up on the top of the pile of clothes. As I returned to the nursery I 
could not decide what kind of diaper to put on. Then I decided the 
disposable would be better and quicker to hide the evidence of what I 
did. I hopped up on the changing table and put some baby powder on 
before I taped up the diaper. I jumped down and ran around the place 
dressed in just the diaper. I started to get cold so I went back to the 
nursery and looked for some thing to wear. I looked at the sleeper with 
mittens and decided to wear that. I started to put it on and saw the 
baby bottles, I always like to suck on bottles but I was not allowed to 
do it. So before I put the sleeper on I filled three bottles with water 
and put them in the crib.
	Now I had to get the sleeper on but it sipped up the back and 
with mitten on I could not do a zipper. Then I saw a string and tied on 
end to the zipper and the other to the wrist of the sleeper so when I 
raised my hand the zipper would go up and when I lowered my hand the 
zipper would go down. I finally got into the sleeper and zipped it up 
then unzipped it. My plan worked just right. I looked at the clock; I 
had about an hour and a half before mom would be back. So I climbed 
into the crib, which was almost impossible but I made it. I quickly 
pull up the side with a lot of trouble wearing mittens I could only 
push up on the bottom of the top rail. After hearing a loud click I let 
go of the side it was locked in place.
	I was finally in a crib wearing a diaper with nothing to do 
except suck on the bottles, which I promptly did. After the second 
bottle I wet my diaper. I was glad I used the disposable not the cloth 
diaper. After I finished the third bottle the need to poop came back 
and if I did not get out of the crib and to the bathroom I would mess 
in the diaper I was wearing. I really did not want to clean up a mess 
so I decided to get out and put things back before mom came back. I put 
my hand down and nothing happened. I looked and the string had broken. 
I got scared. I tried everything I could think of, but with thick 
mittens on my hands I was helpless. I saw the zipper in the crotch and 
knew it was for diaper changes but that did not help me. I had mittens 
on my hands. I could not even grab the crib bars. I shook the crib, 
thinking something would come apart. All that happened was made my need 
to poop get worse.
	I lay back down in the crib and cried and cried. I saw a big 
pacifier on the stand next to the crib I reached for it and was able to 
grab it with both mitten hands. It fell in the crib. I was finally able 
to get it into my mouth. I thought if I could just hold my poop a 
little while longer, mom would be back and get me out of this crib. I 
started to suck on the pacifier and relaxed, but I could not stop 
thinking about my poop. Then a pain hit me. I need to let a little poop 
out; it hurt so bad. I decided to let a little out, maybe that would 
help. I carefully relaxed a little and lost all control and let the 
full of poop in to my diaper. I started to cry through my pacifier and 
finally fell asleep.
	The next thing I realized was my brothers giggling and asking mom 
if Donny was a baby now. Mom just said, "Looks that way to me, because 
he has pooped and peed in his diaper." Mom let down the side of the 
crib carried me to the changing table, still sucking my pacifier. Mom 
proceeded to change my diaper and put on of the thick cloth ones on me 
followed by a pair of nursery print plastic pants. I spit out my 
pacifier and tried to talk but she had my pacifier back in my mouth. 
Again I spit it out so she bent me over her knee and gave me a spanking 
that at first I thought would not hurt until the tenth spank. It 
started to sting by the twentieth I was uncontrollably crying. She put 
my pacifier in my mouth and I began to suck on it as she put me back in 
my crib. Mom and my brothers left the room leaving me still locked in 
the crib.
	I lay there sucking my pacifier and playing with the crib toy on 
the side of the crib because there was nothing else for me to do. Mom 
came in about an hour later and carried me to the kitchen where she sat 
me in the highchair and fastened the beat belt and put the tray in 
place. I was still sucking my pacifier when mom pulled it out and put 
it on my tray. She put a bib around my neck and started to spoon feed 
my some baby food. I don't know what it was but I liked the taste but 
mom was too fast for me and some went on my face and bib. Then she 
handed me a bottle. I tried to hold it but with my mittens on it kept 
slipping out of my hands, so Timmy held it for me. As I drank I felt 
the need to pee and before I finished my bottle I wet my diaper but 
because of my small bladder and thick diaper it was hard for me to tell 
if I had really wet or not.
	After dinner I found myself in a big playpen with all kinds of 
toddler toys, just like the one Timmy stopped playing with last year. I 
always liked toddler toys but was ashamed to play with them, but what 
could I do now? I was wearing diapers in front of my brothers; how much 
more ashamed could I be? I started to enjoy myself in the playpen, 
wetting a couple more times, not even realizing I was wetting because 
of my thick diaper and small bladder.
	About 8:00 PM mom walked over to me and said, "baby's bedtime" 
and picked me up and carried me to the nursery. She changed my diaper 
and put me in the crib and put my bottle in my mouth and supported it 
on my pillow so I would not have to hold it. I started to suck on my 
bottle and found it was so good-tasting. I could not stop sucking but 
just before I finished it I was asleep.
	The next morning I woke up with my pacifier in my mouth, so I 
started to suck and found it relaxing and put me at ease. Then mom 
walked in with a bottle and said, "time to wake up, Donny." She picked 
me up and had me on the changing table removing my sleeper and wet 
diaper and plastic pants. I was now naked. Mom started to wipe me down 
with baby wipes and when she finished she put a fresh diaper and 
plastic pants on me. Then she started to dress me in a one-piece 
playsuit, also with mittens. This playsuit was too short for me to 
stand up in, so I had to crawl like a baby. Mom put me in the crib and 
handed me my bottle. I could grab it, as the mittens were thin enough 
that I could hold my bottle. I was happily sucking my bottle in my crib 
when she left telling me breakfast is in ten minutes.
	Mom came in and removed me from the crib, putting me on the 
floor. Since I could not stand I had crawled behind her like a baby. 
When I got to the kitchen I was again in my highchair being fed my food 
by mom. It was oatmeal, and again some of it went on my face and bib 
just like a baby. Mom said I have been a baby less than a day and used 
more diapers that any two-year-old she knows. I asked her how many; she 
told me two yesterday before bedtime, two last night, and the one I was 
wearing right now. I did not feel wet and told mom I was not wet. She 
said, "You are soaked. You even leaked a little." Then when I moved my 
legs I felt it. She said, "That makes five in less than a day. You will 
probably use three or four more before twenty-four hours are up." My 
brothers just giggled at me in my highchair wearing a wet diaper.
	Mom carried me in the nursery and my brother watched with 
interest and asking questions on how to do a diaper change. I just 
sucked my pacifier as mom told them what they asked and soon I was 
dressed in a clean dry diaper and playsuit and was on the floor 
crawling behind my brothers. We had fun playing with the toys the 
little boy that stays here in the winter left for us to play with. The 
toys were for boys two years old and none were for boys older than 
five. We were having fun when mom came to me and checked my diaper to 
find I was already wet just one half hour after my diaper change. She 
told me I was not wet enough to need changed yet.
	In another half hour I needed to poop. I tried to stand but could 
not because the playsuit was too short. I crawled to find mom. It took 
about ten minutes because I could not crawl that fast because of my 
thick diapers. When I found her I told her I needed to poop and asked 
her to go potty. Wetting was one thing, but pooping in a diaper would 
mean I was a real baby. She told me to follow her. As I crawled I could 
feel poop go into my diaper and by the time I followed her to the 
potty. My diaper was full of poop and I let another flood of pee into 
it. I sat in the bathroom doorway and cried. Mom walked up to me and 
picked me up, squishing the poop in my diaper. It felt warm and gooey. 
Then mom sniffed and said I think the baby has a mess in his diaper as 
I cried.
	Mom just put my pacifier in my mouth, quieting me some. My 
brothers came running and asked mom, "What happened to Donny?" She told 
them he has a poopy diaper that needs changed. She asked them if they 
wanted to help. They both said yes. Mom carried me to the nursery and 
put a changing mat on the floor and lay me on it.
	Mom told Billy to unzip the zipper at the bottom of my playsuit. 
After he unzipped the zipper I could stick my legs out. Mom pulled my 
playsuit up out of the way so it would not get messy during my diaper 
change. She told Timmy to remove my plastic pants; he grabbed them and 
put them off in one motion. Mom then asked Billy to remove both safety 
pins. It took just a few seconds and my diaper was loose. Mom told 
Timmy to pull the front of my diaper down between my legs and try to 
keep any poop in the diaper. She told Billy to roll me on my side and 
wipe most of the poop off my butt with the front of the diaper and drop 
the messy diaper in the soaking bucket. She asked Timmy to use the baby 
wipes and clean off the poop on my butt and roll me back over. I was 
still sucking my pacifier when he rolled me on my back; he cleaned what 
little poop that was on my front.
	I was now on my back ready for a clean diaper. Mom told Billy to 
get a clean diaper and Timmy to roll me on my side. She showed them 
where to place the diaper and rolled me back on the thick cloth diaper. 
She told Timmy to pull the diaper between my legs and Billy to put baby 
powder on my crotch. Mom showed Billy how to pin the first side of the 
diaper then told him to do the other side making sure it was tight at 
the legs and waist. Now I had a fresh clean diaper on and it felt and 
smelled so much better. Mom told Timmy to get some plastic pants and 
put them on Donny and he would be ready to play. Timmy picked the baby 
print blue ones. Timmy zipped up the bottom of my playsuit without 
being told. Mom said all done and everyone got to wash their hands and 
they left the room leaving me on my back sucking my pacifier.
	I got up on my knees and crawled back into the playroom and 
started to play with some baby stacking toys that made noises. Then I 
saw my all-time favorite toy, a rocking horse, but how could I get on 
it? I could not even stand up. But I tried to because I liked rocking 
horses so much. Mom caught me and put me in a toddler walker that was 
adjusted so I could only touch one of my big toes, making so I could 
not make it go anywhere. The walker had a toy tray and I could play 
with the baby toys on it and the TV was turned to a channel that did 
just toddler shows.
	I stayed occupied with the TV and toys since the weather outside 
was bad; we stayed inside all day long. I wet my diaper at some point 
while sitting in the walker. I don't even remember doing it. Mom came 
to pick me out of the walker and said, "I know you are wet. I just want 
to see how wet you are." She lay me down and unzipped my playsuit and 
checked my diaper and said, "yes, you are wet, but you can go a little 
while longer before we change you." Now it is lunchtime and she carried 
me to my highchair. I sat there while she fastened the seat belt and 
put the tray in place. I had to wait on mom to call my brothers. As 
they came in the kitchen they were talking about being big boys.
	Mom put their food in front of them as they found their seats. 
They started to eat and mom started to feed me my baby food. I was to 
eat three jars and a bottle. I just started my last jar when the need 
to poop hit me so fast. I could not even stop it and a load of poop 
filled my diaper, just like I was a real baby. I could not help it. I 
sat there and ate the rest of my baby food and mom handed me my bottle. 
I could barely hold on to it but I drank it dry. I sat in my highchair 
in my wet and messy diaper, knowing that everyone knew my diaper was 
messy.
	Mom said time for a diaper change who wants to help? Both of my 
brothers said me. Mom put me on the floor and told me to follow my 
brothers. I crawled into the nursery and by the time I got to the 
nursery my brothers had my changing pad spread out for me. What I did 
not know was while I was stuck in the walker mom had my brothers 
practice changing diapers on each other and the were getting real good 
at it.
	Mom told Timmy to change my diaper. I started to kick and cry so 
Timmy rolled me over and gave me three hard spanks. For a little kid he 
hit me so hard. I was crying for real as I fell limp on the changing 
mat. I let him do the whole diaper change without a struggle. In just 
five minutes I was done and Timmy was washing his hands. I felt so 
ashamed, my baby brother changing my messy diaper, not me changing his 
like it should be.
	Mom put me in the crib and said "baby's nap time" as she put my 
nap bottle in my mouth. I started to suck and everyone left the room. I 
was soon asleep, thinking how to get out of the crib. When I woke up 
two hours later I tried to stand up but I could only get to my knees. I 
could not reach the top rail; it was too high. Mom came in and asked 
what I was doing? I tried to talk but she just put my pacifier in my 
mouth shutting me up. She put me on the changing table and changed and 
powdered me because I had wet during my nap.
	Out to the playroom she carried me she put me on the rocking 
horse and I found it had a different seat. This seat had leg straps so 
the rider would not fall off. She fastened the straps around my legs 
then the waist strap. I was now locked on my favorite toy. I started to 
bounce and rock back and forth, having so much fun I did not even care 
I was being treated like a baby.
	After an hour I was so tired I started to cry to get off. Mom 
came in and removed me so I could play with the other toys and my 
brothers. I still had mittens on my hands that limited me on what I 
could do. I could play with only baby toys my brothers did not want but 
I still liked the baby toys; they were so much fun to me. I had wet 
again and did not even know I was wet or when I wet. Mom told Billy to 
go change Donny's wet diaper.
	Billy led me to the nursery where I let him change my wet diaper. 
It took only four minutes and I was back in the playroom. Mom asked 
Billy, "Was Donny wet or messy?" Billy said, "he was real wet, but not 
messy." Mom said, "that makes somewhere around ten diapers in one day, 
more if we changed him every time he wet. A two-year-old uses only five 
or six, so until you use only five or six diapers in one day you will 
stay in diapers. Then we can potty train you to be a big boy like 
Timmy, and he can help. Until you can prove you want to be dry you are 
going to be a baby in every way."
	I started to whimper and Timmy put my pacifier that was dangling 
on its keeper that was pinned to my playsuit. My playsuit still had 
mittens on it and I still could not stand up. That all made me as 
helpless as a baby not being able to walk, talk, or use my hands.
	Since the weather was going to be bad for the next three weeks I 
would be staying inside, that was OK with me. I did not want to go out 
in public looking like a big two-year-old. So for the next two weeks I 
was treated just like a six-month-old baby, not walking or talking. I 
could not even hold my own bottle.
	On the fourth day of the third week just after my nap mom dressed 
me in a particularly babyish blanket sleeper, attached my pacifier and 
carried me to the hallway where she had a stroller ready for me. She 
had me strapped in before. I realized it she then called to my 
brothers. I was going to go out in public dressed just like a baby. My 
brothers grabbed their coats, hats and gloves and put them on. My heavy 
sleeper had mittens so I would not get cold. I saw myself in the 
hallway mirror. I saw I look like a heavily diapered big baby with a 
large diaper bulge. I started to cry so Timmy put my pacifier in my 
mouth, which I immediately started to suck on, quieting me and relaxing 
me at the same time. After three and a half weeks of being a baby 
pacifier sucking was automatic when it was put by my mouth.
	I was being pushed down the sidewalk where other boys were 
playing. One boy, about eight, said to his friends, "Look at the big 
baby." They all came over to me and mom stopped and started to talk to 
them. They asked how old I was. Timmy said loudly. "ten years old." 
They asked, "Why is he wearing diapers and baby clothes?" Billy said, 
"we caught him in the crib wet and wearing a messy diaper, sucking on a 
baby bottle." They asked, "Can he talk or walk?" "Mom said he's is 
being punished and is not allowed to."
	They asked where we live and the eight-year-old said that was 
next door to me. He asked, "Can he come over and play sometime?" Mom 
said, "Yes, but baby Donny is not allowed to do much." He said he did 
not care, he can play with my brothers if it was OK. She said, "Sure, 
if your mom is OK with that." The boys said their good-byes and mom 
started to push me and I was out on display again. The day was cool, 
only 60 degrees, and I was happy to just snuggle down in the stroller 
and sleep. About an hour later we were back and mom was removing me 
from the stroller. She asked my brothers, "Who wants to change a wet 
diaper?" Timmy was the first to say he did. Mom put me on the floor and 
told me to go with Timmy and get changed.
	I did not feel wet until I started to crawl down the hall to the 
nursery. For the last three and a half weeks I have wet or messed 
without thinking it was just another happening to me. I have been 
turned from a ten-year-old with poor potty capability into an unpotty-
trained toddler not yet walking. I am so glad that the weather has been 
so bad that I could stay inside and keep my diapers a family secret.
	After my diaper change I crawled into the playroom where mom 
placed me in the playpen where I have started to like a lot more than 
anywhere. I could play with all the toys in the four-foot by four-foot 
playpen and no one could stop me. My brothers did not want to play with 
the baby toys but I did not know that.
	Two days after my stroller outing the little boy next door came 
over to play with my brothers. It was raining and they played in the 
playroom and I played in the playpen in the corner of the playroom. He 
said his name was Ryan and he just turned eight last week. He looked at 
me in the playpen and asked Billy, "why is the baby in a playpen?" 
Billy said, "Donny is not allowed to play with big boy toys. He is a 
baby." I just sat there sucking my pacifier while they talked. Ryan 
said, "What is that smell?" Billy said, "Oh, Donny has messed his 
diaper. We have to change him now."
	Billy called to Timmy and said, "Go get a diaper For Donny," and 
Timmy ran off. Billy opened the playpen gate and told me to get out and 
lay on the changing mat. I started crying, so Billy put my pacifier 
back in my mouth. I was lying on my changing mat when Timmy came back 
with the changing supplies, diaper wipes, plastic pants and powder. I 
received a diaper change with Ryan watching, asking all kinds of 
questions like how many times I need a diaper change in a day, where I 
sleep and where I ate. Then he said, "that is just like my baby brother 
and he is going to be one next week."
	I was put back into my playpen and Ryan and my brothers started 
to play with all the big boy toys. After about two hours my diaper 
started burning and I could do nothing but cry. My brothers came 
running and checked my diaper and said, "Donny has diaper rash again, 
because when he wets it starts to hurt." So again my brother changed my 
diaper in front of Ryan. This time they put some diaper rash cream on 
me and it felt so much better. With my diaper changed I was again back 
in my playpen having fun with the baby toys. Ryan's mom called and he 
had to go home.
	I spent the next two weeks as a real baby-- many diaper changes a 
day, three feedings a day, a two-hour nap, and not walking or talking. 
I have been a baby for five and a half weeks and forgot all about what 
mom told me about staying dry for two hours before potty training 
started. With me eating just baby food and drinking many bottles I 
found it hard to stop messing and wetting. I would always mess sitting 
in my highchair and sometime again mess playing. Wetting happened about 
every forty-five minutes not much longer.
	At the end of six weeks the weather was getting nice and I was 
outside more and more being a baby was automatic to me now and I did 
not even try to do anything a big boy would try. I have not been 
allowed to even stand or talk I just cry and point like a baby. I 
always had a pacifier and every one that saw me just thought I was a 
slow-learning toddler. I liked it that way because they did not know 
how old I really was. So I started to act even more like a baby when I 
was out in public.
	Vacation was going to end in two weeks and all my vacation has 
been is diaper changes, feeds, naps, and playtimes. I cannot wait until 
I get home and get my big boy life back. Being a baby is beginning to 
be so automatic for me now that when a pacifier was put near my mouth I 
would start to suck it. Same way with a bottle or spoonful of food. I 
have not walked or stood since vacation started. I have been in diapers 
and treated just like a baby and that is what I have become. But I 
wanted to be a big boy and when we get back home I could be a big boy 
again.
	For the next two weeks mom had me on a feeding, playing, and 
sleep schedule. When I was fed I would most of the time mess my diaper 
while being fed in my highchair. I started to just lay on my back and 
just let my brothers get me a toy or bottle like a six-month-old. Mom 
started to even hold me more and more. I was in the walker most of the 
time during the day so they would not have to watch me that close. 
Since when I was in the walker I could not move around very quickly.
	Then one morning mom woke me up late changed my diaper and fed me 
in my highchair and I put a large amount of poop in my diaper just like 
I have done for the last five weeks. After my diaper change mom told my 
brothers to get in the car as she carried me to my car seat and 
strapped me in. I tried to ask where we were going, but mom put my 
pacifier in my mouth. Mom told me vacation was over and we were going 
home.
	I played with the baby toys that were around my car seat for 
about an hour until I fell asleep. Next thing I know is that mom has me 
on my back in the front seat changing my diaper. We were at McDonalds 
getting ready to eat lunch. My lunch was two jars of baby food and a 
bottle. My brothers had a Happy Meal. After my messy diaper was changed 
we were on our way home again. My brothers kept me awake for the next 
six hours. I needed four diaper changes and took two bottles while 
Timmy held them.
	When we got home I was asleep with a fresh diaper and dressed in 
my sleeper. Mom and my brothers unpacked while I slept. Since I had 
just fallen asleep just before we pulled in the driveway mom decided to 
let me sleep until they were done unpacking. When my brothers got to 
our newly remodeled bedroom they were surprised to find their new bunk 
beds set up and ready for them, and a large crib for me in the corner. 
They got ready for bed and mom tucked them in. Mom came back to the 
car, picked me up and carried to my new crib and lay me down in it. I 
did not even wake up.
	I woke up the next morning thinking I was still at the condo 
since not much at first had changed. Then when I woke up fully. I found 
that we were in the room that had bunk beds. Then mom came in and said, 
"time for a diaper change." She lifted me up and had me on my new 
changing table. I tried to talk but I still had my pacifier in my 
mouth. It seems I have started to sleep all night with my pacifier in 
my mouth without it falling out. I took the pacifier out and tried to 
talk but mom just put it back in my mouth. Mom changed my diaper and 
carried me to the kitchen dressed only in my Pampers.
	I was sat in my new highchair, which I found quit a bit larger 
than the one at the condo. But with the seat belt fastened I could not 
slip out or even reach the release. Mom put a bib around my neck and 
put my oatmeal in front of me and handed me a spoon. I had not fed 
myself in over two months and was so excited I started to eat with a 
spoon. But ended up dropping oatmeal on the tray and my bib. I had 
oatmeal all over my face, tray, bib, and floor. I looked just like a 
one-year-old baby.
	After my diaper change I was back in my new crawling playsuit 
still sucking a pacifier. Mom sent my brothers outside to play and 
carried me out to the backyard. We lived out in the country and had no 
neighbors and I was not worried about anyone seeing me. I just 
continued to be a baby even though I was now back home. Within three 
days of being back home I was back on a baby schedule and my brothers 
were my baby sitters changing my diapers and feeding me with mom's 
direction.
	I was not allowed to feed myself, walk, talk, or do anything a 
baby was not allowed to do, if a baby did it I was doing it. If a big 
boy over eight-months-old did it I was not allowed to do it. I was so 
much of a baby with the next four months no one could tell the 
difference except size. My eleventh birthday was coming up next month, 
December 20, and mom told me if I was a good baby she would see about 
making me a big boy again.
	My birthday was that of a one-year-old I received diapers, baby 
clothes, and baby toys. I was so happy when I opened Pull-Ups. I have 
not worn Pull-ups in over seven months. Mom said. I could try potty 
training if I can keep my diaper dry for two hours. She gave my 
brothers a two-hour timer and showed them how to set it for two hours. 
She told them if he has a wet diaper to reset the timer so he can try 
again. If he has a dry diaper after to put the dry diaper in the dry 
diaper can. If I can stay dry enough to have twice as many dry diapers 
in my diaper pails I can start potty training.
	It took another six months before I could stay dry for two hours 
but we were back at the condo for the summer and I was still a big 
baby. My brothers were more in charge of what I did and they would not 
let my do thing even a two-year-old was allowed to do. They kept 
telling me I was not potty trained so I was not allowed. They did not 
even try to be quiet about my problem and soon everyone around new of 
the big baby. I fail my potty training again.
	I have been a baby for a year now and it was routine for me to 
get a discreet diaper change out in public. I was now wetting only 
seven or eight times a day and messing once or twice. Mom told me maybe 
in a couple of months I could start potty training. If I could start 
staying dry for every potty time and not make a mistake for three days. 
But I have never stayed dry for two hours at a time for more than two 
days in my whole life.
	At the end of two months I was finally able to stay dry for two 
hours with my brothers reminding me constantly not to pee in my diaper. 
I still pooped at every meal. I could do nothing to stop it when mom 
fed me my baby food poop slipped out into my diaper. Mom told me when I 
start potty training I will be allowed to feed myself big boy food.
	Mom found some diapers that fit me better since I was outgrowing 
the Pamper size 6 and she liked using disposable diapers better. They 
looked almost like the old style Pampers except they were much more 
noisy and thicker. They were as thick as my cloth night diapers and 
plastic pants. She bought two cases of them, over two hundred of them. 
When mom put one on me she told me I was free to do what I wanted to 
do. I asked if I was allowed to walk and talk and feed myself. Mom said 
yes, if I was able to do it I was allowed to do.
	Mom put me on the floor with only my new diaper on. I was so used 
to crawling I continued to crawl and for got I was allowed to walk. My 
brothers were told of my new rules I was not a baby any longer I was a 
full-fledged toddler. I mostly crawled but within the next two months I 
could walk as good as my brothers. I still crawled most of the time 
when I played just like a two-year-old.
	Potty training started the following month. My potty training 
started and my brothers had to repeat my potty timer training. They 
would take me to the potty every two hours and strap me on my potty for 
ten minutes. If I peed in my diaper before they would get another clean 
dry diaper and was told by them to try harder. I would be wet most of 
the time at first but within three weeks I would be dry most of the 
time. But I still wet and pooped to often to be put in training pants.
	When I ate my meal in my highchair is when I would mess my diaper 
I could not stop it I had very little control of my bowels still. Mom 
kept letting me eat baby food that kept my poop soft and hard to hold. 
When I messed my diaper in my highchair pee would come out to.
	When I slept in my crib mom would diaper me in such a thick 
diaper, even wearing just that I could not stand up so I could not get 
out of my crib. Mom told me I would continue to wear diapers to bed, 
sleep in my crib and take a nap until I stopped wetting my bed. I have 
never been dry at night. But I was getting close to being potty trained 
during the day.
	After two months of potty and my brother's help I was allowed to 
wear my first pair of training pants just in time because I was running 
out of disposable diapers again. This time mom ordered just training 
pants for me. She bought about one hundred. The Pull-ups were tight but 
I did not have that baby diaper bulge that gave me away as a baby not a 
big boy.
	It took another three months before I was able to go two weeks 
without an accident in my pants except during sleep. I kept wetting my 
bed every nap and night and I was turning twelve next week. My brothers 
just diapered me before nap even though they had stopped taking naps. I 
had to take a nap because I still wet the bed. But I was potty trained 
during the day most of the time. I still had an occasional accident 
that my brothers would clean up. Mom said I would have to wear training 
pants until I was dry when I slept. She told me I was still to eat in 
my highchair, sleep in my crib, and use my potty chair until I was 
totally potty trained.
	I was almost twelve-years-old and still treated just like a two-
year-old. Mom took me to the doctor and had him check me out to see why 
I still had occasional accident during the day and wet my bed every 
like a baby night. After his test he told mom there was nothing wrong 
with me except I was quite immature for my age and around puberty in 
three or four years my bed wetting might stop until keep him well 
protected and everything will be OK. He said. Keep him in training 
pants until he gets good enough to not have accidents for three month 
or he might be embarrassed by an accident.
	On the way home I had an accident, sealing me in training pants 
for the next three months. I have never had big boy underwear on and 
only knew what it was like to wear a glorified diaper, never plain 
cloth underwear. I never even seen plain underwear. I thought 
everyone's underwear was as thick as mine. So it made no difference to 
me what I was wearing. I have been dressed by my brothers and mother 
for over two years and even before when I was allowed to dress myself. 
I wore training pants. When my brothers were babies and being potty 
trained I helped them with their clothes and all I saw was training 
pants.
	It was during the first vacation when by brothers graduated to 
big boy underwear and I did not see them since I was confined to a 
crib, and everything I did was under some one else's control. I did not 
know about big boy underwear, just big boy training pants like I have 
always worn. I thought my big boy training pants were what every boy 
wears. Until I turned thirteen I had to wear ether diapers or my big 
boy training pants, thinking that I was wearing what every big boy 
wore. Then I saw Timmy's underwear then, so thin and soft, not thick 
and crinkly like mine.
	I asked mom when I could wear real big boy underwear. She told me 
when I don't have accidents in my pants for three months and stop my 
bed wetting for one month. I started to cry so in went my pacifier. I 
still have my pacifier pinned to my shirt. I like my pacifier so much I 
started to suck. Without thinking, I quieted down. Mom told me that 
there were rules for my brothers and they knew the rules. I look at my 
potty training calendar that mom had on the wall of our room. The most 
in a row days clean and dry I had was five. My brothers kept track of 
my potty mistakes and once they marked me down as having an accident I 
could not undo it.
	Even though I was approaching fourteen my brothers still were in 
control of what I was allowed to do and they were my baby-sitter when 
mom was busy. Even though Billy was only eight and Timmy was six they 
told me what to do. Billy was bigger than me and Timmy was the same 
size. Timmy and Billy were big for their age Timmy was four feet six 
inches tall and weighed 70 pounds. Billy was five feet tall and weighed 
100 pounds. I was four feet five inches tall and weighed 60 pounds. I 
was going to hit puberty in another year or so and start to grow again. 
But until then my brothers were in charge. After all I was just a big 
pacifier-sucking, pants-wetting, bedwetting, messy-eating, night-
diaper-wearing, crying and crawling toddler.
	I have not matured like my brothers. We have been home schooled 
and were doing school work far advanced to our ages. I was doing 
college courses; my brothers were doing high school courses. But I am 
so immature for my age I act about two or three-year-old, no older. 
Without someone reminding me I would wet my pants and I was so messy 
when I ate. I always had a bib and ate in my highchair at home or had 
mom feed me in a restaurant. I was like most two-year-olds with potty 
accidents, sleep-wetting and problems eating without making a mess. At 
fourteen, I was more like a two-year-old than most toddlers.
	Three months after my fourteenth birthday I was able to use the 
potty like a big boy during the day with only some reminding. Mom told 
me I would graduate to big boy underpants if I could have a clean one-
month calendar during the day. Nighttime wetting is OK, but I will have 
to wear night diapers until I can stay dry for three months.
	Six months later I finally graduated and got a big boy 
Certificate that said I was a big boy now and mom put it on my crib. 
She told me now I have to be dry at night for three months to get out 
of night diapers. I have to be out of night diapers for one year to get 
a big boy bed.
	That brings me to where I am today, age eighteen, college 
graduate still sleeping in a crib letting my brothers diaper me at 
night and put me in a crib that I could not get out of. They made me 
suck a night bottle and pacifier but I did not mind I liked them 
anyhow. Yesterday I had my second pants-wetting accident this week and 
my brothers took away my big boy underpants and I was again back in 
training pants. So my potty training starts all over. Three months dry 
training pants before I get my underpants back.
	Mom took all my adult clothes and locked them up and bought me 
adult baby clothes since I was now five feet nine inches tall and 
weighed 130 pounds, baby clothes would not fit. My brother Billy was 
five eight inches and weighed 145 he was stronger than me by a lot. 
Timmy was five feet six and weighed 140 pounds he was stronger, too. So 
I was once again treated like a baby.