At the Shore

 

 

          When I was about 7, I just started having accidents at night again. That summer, I went down the shore with my parents, my aunt and uncle, and my 3 year old cousin Ryan. A few weeks before the trip, I started to wake up in the middle of the night with wet pjs. I would wake up my mom or dad, and they would change my sheets and my pajamas and send me back to bed. They were never mad at me because of it: they were really nice.

 

          We went down the shore every summer and rented a house on the beach for a week or two. This time it was for two weeks and my aunt, uncle and little cousin Ryan were going, too. Ryan was 3 and was struggling with toilet training. His parents started to buy him Pull-ups just before our trip. This was when pull-ups were kind of new. I didn’t have to wear diapers to bed (yet) so I never even heard even heard of Pull-Ups. I wasn’t totally potty-trained until 5 ½, but Pull-Ups weren’t around until I was 7.

 

          Anyway, when we got to the shore, we moved into the house. We got there before my aunt and uncle so we unpacked our stuff and went down to the beach. When they finally got there, they came straight down to the beach. I saw Ryan running down to the ocean wearing a little pair of shorts and no shirt. You could see the top of his Pull-Ups sticking out of his shorts.

My uncle quickly scooped him up and brought him back to where our towels and umbrella were. My uncle laid him down on the towel and pulled down his shorts. My mom was putting lotion all over me as I watched my uncle and Ryan. My parents started to talk about how Ryan was having trouble with the potty, “just like I did” –which made me very embarrassed. They started to talk about these new things that Ryan was wearing called Pull-Ups. My uncle tore the sides of Ryan’s, “diaper” and saw that it was very wet. So were his shorts. He said that he couldn’t tell if the shorts were wet from the spray from the ocean, or if Ryan’s Pull-Ups were leaking.

 

          I remember feeling how I sort of wanted to try on one of those Pull-Ups and see what they were like. They looked soft, and I knew I was having trouble staying dry at night. Uncle Mike took out another one of those Pull-Ups out of Ryan’s diaper bag and put it on him. Ryan then said that he wanted to swim, so Uncle Mike took a bathing suit out of the bag and put it on Ryan. We spent the rest of that day swimming.

 

          That night, my parents went for a walk on the beach and Uncle Mike and me were putting together a puzzle on the deck facing the beach. I remember that puzzle (which I still have) was a picture of a seahorse and seaweed and shells. Aunt Claire was putting all of the clothes away. Ryan came out onto the deck and said, “Can I help?” Uncle Mike picked him up and put him on his lap. Ryan and I weren’t too good at that puzzle but we tried! After a while, I saw Ryan whisper something to Uncle Mike. Then Uncle Mike said, “Good boy!” and then put Ryan on the floor and Ryan ran to the bathroom. Uncle Mike yelled out, “Claire! I think Ryan’s trying again!” Aunt Claire didn’t answer. Then I went inside and I saw Ryan stop right before the bathroom door and look down at his crotch. He was just wearing a blue Long Beach Island t-shirt and a Pull-Up. His Pull-Ups just kinda hung there. I knew what he was doing. Then Uncle Mike yelled out, “Never mind Claire!” Ryan looked at his dad and giggled. Uncle Mike just shook his head and smiled. My uncle didn’t seem to care that Ryan was getting to be the age where he should be able to do that potty thing. Not like I should talk, but I was a weird case.

 

          Then Aunt Claire came down from the loft. She saw Ryan and said, “Where’s daddy?” Ryan said, “the beach”. Even though his dad was standing just a few feet away from him. I think Ryan just wanted to go back to the beach. Aunt Claire then told my uncle to go to the store and get some regular diapers for Ryan. She said that the excitement of being on vacation was gonna be too much for him to master the potty. She took Ryan into one of the bedrooms and took him out of his soggy training pants and put new ones on him.

 

          My parents came back and asked my aunt where my uncle went. She said that he went to the store. My mom said, “Damn. I wanted to get another bottle of wine,” my aunt told her that she could catch Uncle Mike if she hurried. Somehow, my mom convinced my dad to go instead of her. That’s when the ugly subject of my nighttime problem came up. I think I remember most of the conversation. My aunt told my mom that she sent Uncle Mike out to get Ryan some regular diapers because Ryan was having so much trouble with toilet training. She thought they should wait until the vacation was over to get serious about it again. My mom then told my aunt that lately I couldn’t seem to stay dry overnight. The my aunt started asking me these questions like, “can’t you wake up in time?” and, “remember how much trouble you had with potty-training? My Aunt Claire is really nice but she is an airhead. She came from a messed-up rich family like my mom did. That’s why I think the get along so well, Aunt Claire was like 26 then and Uncle Mike was a little younger, like 24, or maybe he just turned 25. Mike is my dad’s brother. My parents were both like 29 then.

 

          Then my Aunt said to my mom, “You know Mike had that problem until he was like 16 or 17.” My mom said, “Really? I don’t think Gary (my dad) did.” Aunt Claire said, “No, Mike didn’t say anything about that but we were kidding about Ryan’s problem and Mike said he wouldn’t be surprised if Ryan was still in diapers when he was 16, but of course he was kidding!”

 

          My mom said, “ We’re not gonna make Kevin wear those if he doesn’t want to. He might, hopefully, be going through a short phase, but if he isn’t we wouldn’t make him.”

 

          Aunt Claire said, “Yeah I agree, but I wouldn’t want Ryan to wear those leaky Pull-ups in these beds, when we’re renting this house. I can just imagine what they would charge for ruined mattresses.”

 

          My mom then looked shocked., “My god, I never thought of that. I wonder if we can get one of those rubber sheets on the island.” My mom then looked at me and laughed and said, “STOP! DON’T DRINK ANYMORE TONIGHT!!!!” Of course she was kidding, but I still felt embarrassed. Then my mom said, “I’ll have to look around for one of those sheets tomorrow. Hey Kev, make sure Ryan stays away from the deck when no one is watching. Aunt Claire says he’s very excited about the beach and he’s alittle wild. Hey hun, go ask Ryan to show you where he keeps his Pull-Ups. I wanna see if they’d fit you”. I said ok, but I was really embarrassed. I got Ryan and said, “Ry, where are your diapers?” He said,” I wear PULL-UPS” I said, “Where are they?” He grabbed my hand and took me into our bedroom. We were sharing a room. We saw the bag on the bed. He said, “There!” I took one out of the bag and felt it. It was just like a diaper except it had a softer cover on it and it had airplanes, boats, and trains all over it. The diapers I used to wear when I was 5 only had a strip of cartoons where you put the tapes.

 

          I brought it out to the kitchen where my mom and my aunt were sitting. My mom took it and said, “Hey, Claire, these are cute! Like real underwear. How are they?” Aunt Claire said, “Well, actually they have been leaking on Ryan a lot so I don’t think we’re gonna use them anymore. We’ll just stick with diapers until he’s ready.”

 

          My mom said, “If these don’t work on your cousin, they probably won’t work on you. But if you think you need it, you can wear it. It’s up to you, hun.”

 

          I felt embarrassed again and shrugged my shoulders. My aunt said, “You don’t have to be afraid, your Uncle Mike needed to wear something like these up until he was a teenager!”

 

          I said, “Well, maybe.” Just then my dad walked in with Uncle Mike. My uncle opened a bag and took out this huge jug of red wine for my parents. Then he handed Ryan a bag of Pampers diapers and told him to put them on his bed. Ryan hugged the bag and then threw them up in the air and tried catching it. He kept on doing this until he got to our room and then he kicked the bag and it landed on the floor next to his bed. Then he came running back to the kitchen. I started looking for a movie. I wanted to watch Nightmare on Elm Street but I knew that Ryan shouldn’t. For some reason, my parents let me watch those movies. They never gave me nightmares or scared me so I was allowed to watch them. Anyway, I decided to put on a Duck Tales tape that we brought. Even though I like horror movies, for some reason, I also like cartoons, but hey, I was 7!

 

          When Ryan heard the Duck Tales music, he came running out to the living room. I remember that moment well. We had the sliding glass door to the deck opened and you could smell and hear the ocean. Ryan who already had a tan started to take off his t-shirt. His arms got stuck in the holes, so I helped him. He looked at me and giggled. He was such a cute little kid. He had and still does have very light brown hair that has blond streaks in the summer. He was built like a six year old when he was three. And now that he’s 12, he has more muscles than I do.

 

          Aunt Claire tapped him on the shoulder and said, “Young man, let’s get you changed and ready for bed, then you can watch the movie with Kevin.” Ryan looked like he didn’t even hear her. Then he looked up and said, “I can brush my teeth too!” Aunt Claire laughed and said, “Of course!”

 

          Ryan ran into the bathroom and got his toothbrush as Aunt Claire went into Ryan’s and my room. I had the TV on low so I could her Ryan turning the water on and I could hear the sound of Aunt Claire opening drawers and zipping suitcases. Then Ryan yelled, “No toothpaste!” and he ran into our bedroom. Then I heard my aunt say, “Come here, there’s toothpaste in that bag.” I heard Ryan open a bag then Aunt Claire said, “Hold on, come here a minute and let’s get this on you first.” Then I heard the sound of Ryan laying down and tapping his impatient head on the floor. Then Aunt Claire said, “Do you have to go potty? …. Are you sure?” Then I heard the ripping sound of diaper tapes being opened and then closed. Then Ryan ran into the bathroom and brushed his teeth. Then he came out and watched the Duck Tales tape with me. He had on a yellow t-shirt with a Ninja Turtle on it. He was also wearing one of the Pampers. He kept on feeling it every once in a while and looking down at it. He didn’t say anything about it but he didn’t seem to care. It’s almost like he liked them better than the Pull-Ups.

 

          After the movie, I started to doze off on the floor in the living room. Ryan was still full of energy. He went into the kitchen and got himself a paper cup and tried to pour a cup of soda. All I heard was, “Splash!” Then my mom came in from the deck where she was smoking with my aunt. She said, “Uh oh! Claire, we had a little accident here!” My aunt came in too and said to her son in her sweet but airhead voice, “Where you getting yourself some soda?!! Hehehehe, we drink juice at night not soda!” Then she looked at my mom and said, “He can’t get to sleep until 12 without all that sugar and caffeine! Hehehe! Anyway, it’s time for bed Ry!”

 

          Ryan just moaned, but didn’t put up too much of a fight. She picked him up and kissed him goodnight and dropped him off in one of the beds in our room. Then my dad came in. He said to me, “So what are we gonna do with you tonight?” I looked at him confused., “Are you gonna try one of Ryan’s Pull-Ups?”

 

          I looked at the floor and said, “Ok” I didn’t totally want to but I was kinda curious about it., “Good idea, I’ll get one.” My mom and aunt heard this I think but they went back outside to have another cigarette. My dad came back and said, “You want me to help you with this?” I said no and that I could do it.

 

          Then I went into the bathroom and took off my clothes. I opened up the training pants and slipped into it. It felt so much thicker than the underwear I got used to wearing. It fit me perfectly since, I was always a little on the thin side. I put my old clothes in the basket by the toilet and went into my room. Ryan was still awake and he found a flashlight and he was shining it on the ceiling. He saw me wearing one of his Pull-Ups. Even though he might have been too young to be concerned, he did look worried. Then he said, “Kev, why do you have those on?” I said because I didn’t want to have an accident. He giggled.

 

          In the middle of the night, I woke up really sweaty. Even though that house was really nice and expensive, it didn’t have air conditioning I don’t think because it was always so hot. The fans were on but it was really hot. I also saw that I peed. I looked over at Ryan. His short hair had formed little sweaty ringlets around his neck. I pulled off my sheet and saw that the Pull-Ups were leaking. There was a red sheet on that bed and it was so obvious that it was wet. I put my hand on the top of the Pull-Up and it felt squishy. I went out into the living room. My Uncle Mike was asleep on the couch in

His underwear. I kicked over a can of something that was on the floor. I just went into my parent’s room and woke up my dad. My mom wasn’t in bed with him either. My dad woke up and said, “What’s the matter champ? Another accident?” I whispered, “yeah”. My dad followed me into my room. He said, “Let’s do this quietly so we won’t wake up your cousin” He opened the closet door and found another set of sheets. The only extra set. He saw that my training pants were dripping wet. He told me to take them off and throw them in the garbage can in that closet. I opened my cousin’s suitcase and took out another Pull-Up, just in case.

 

In the morning, when I got up, I saw that I was the only one awake in the house. I turned on the TV and saw cartoons on Nickelodeon. Uncle Mike was already up but he always jogs on the beach. He still thought he was a high school jock even though he was in his 20’s. Soon after that, Ryan, not completely awake, came out and sat next to me. I looked down at his diaper and saw that it looked dry. I felt real stupid because he was starting to be able to do it and I was starting to go back to diapers and couldn’t keep them dry. Ryan went into the kitchen and got some cereal. He got the whole box so we both ate out of the box. After a little while, I looked back at Ryan’s baby diaper and it looked wet. It was all bunched up in the front and when he stood up it stayed that way. Actually, when he stood up, he looked down at it and touched it. He knew he wet but he didn’t really care. I guess, it was about 6:30 in the morning. Uncle Mike usually stays out for a few hours when he jogs because when he’s done jogging, he walks up to the coffee shop to have coffee and read the newspaper. I looked out the window and saw that my mom and Aunt Claire were gone too. One of the cars was missing. I heard my dad still snoring in the other bedroom. Ryan then asked me if we could go to the beach and I told him that we should wait for our parents to get up. Then I asked him if he wanted me to change his diaper. He just said, “Not wet!” So I didn’t say anything else about it. I was still wearing the tee shirt that the Pull-Ups leaked on a little but the dribble spots had dried. I also had on another Pull-Up that was mostly covered by the shirt.

 

Uncle Mike came back in and saw us sitting there and said, “What are you kids doin’ up so early?” Then he picked up Ryan upside down and tickled his stomach. Ryan laughed out loud. Then Uncle Mike pretended that he was gonna throw Ryan out the window. Then he put him down and looked at me and said, “Your turn!” He chased me around the couch a few times then jumped over it to catch me. He tackled me and tickled my stomach too. I laughed then got back up. I said that Ryan wanted to go to the beach already. He looked at his son and said, “I’m gonna take a shower then when everyone is ready we’ll go down. How’s your diaper, buddy?”

 

Ryan held up his shirt and said, “Not wet! Not wet!” Uncle Mike and I could easily see that it was wet. Uncle Mike said, “Mmm, nice try!” and picked up my cousin by his ankles and took him in our room. Again, I heard the sounds of diaper tapes being opened. A few minutes later, they both came out. Ryan was wearing his bathing suit over his diaper and Uncle Mike took of his sneakers and threw them at me, missing on purpose. He asked me to put them out on the deck. He said he was gonna take a shower. He asked me if I was ok with watching Ryan for a little while more. I said, “No problem.” He told me my mom and Aunt Claire should be back soon.

 

Just as he closed the door, I heard the sound of the car tires rolling over the stone driveway. It was my mom and Aunt Claire. When they came in, they asked me where my dad was, I said sleeping. Uncle Mike? In the shower. They said that they were gonna make breakfast and I could take Ryan out to the backyard where the swing set was. Ryan was excited about that and so was I. I threw a pair of shorts over my Pull-Ups and I went down with him and my mom came with us. She told me to be careful and that they would be right upstairs and breakfast would be done in ten minutes. Then she closed the gate be hind her. Ryan ran over to the swings. I went on the swing next to him. We were swinging for about two minutes before Ryan got bored and started to look around the backyard for more interesting things. He found that garden hose that Uncle Mike just used to wash the sand off his feet. The minute I noticed Ryan pick up the hose, I knew that trouble was on its way! I said, “Oh! No Ryan! Don’t….” SPLASH!!!! He knew exactly what to do! He pressed the nozzle and started spraying all over, first the garbage cans, then (when I started to get close to try and turn it off) at me, then when I backed off, himself. He got his hair all wet, and then his legs, and then he stuck it down around the waist of his diaper. He held it there and laughed his little head off. I shouted up to my mom and my aunt. Aunt Claire came to the window and quickly saw what the matter was. She groaned and then her head disappeared. The water must have gotten too cold because Ryan threw down the hose and made a face. His diaper was bulging and saggy. Aunt Claire came out and looked a little mad but knowing her, she wasn’t. She laughed at her son’s joke then asked me if he got me wet. I told her no and she picked him up and held him away from her so she wouldn’t get wet. Ryan’s diapers were dripping and soaked and they hung down around his knees almost. It looked like it was gonna fall off him! As they went upstairs, Ryan was holding on to the sides of his diaper. I followed them up because breakfast was ready.

 

After breakfast I took off my Pull-Ups and got my swimming trunks on. We all went down to the beach. I remember my parents talking about how unusual it was for the water to be that warm. It was almost like bath water, the only problem was- jellyfish. Yuk!

 

After a day on the beach, we went to a restaurant and had dinner. After dinner we took a ride on this big boat called the Black Whale. Ryan and I both got to steer the boat. The captain of that boat lets kids steer it if they want to and then he gives them a lollypop. Ryan like driving it so much, that when his turn was over, he started kicking his feet. He threw a fit until my aunt gave him some ice cream, then he calmed down.

 

When we got back to the house, Ryan and I watched TV and my parents went to the beach. My Uncle Mike told Ryan that he should get ready for bed. Ryan came out only wearing a diaper. Then my uncle asked me, “Don’t you wanna wear your pjs too? That way if you fall asleep, you’ll be all set?” I agreed even though pajamas for me down there were a tee shirt and a Pull-Ups. I went in the bedroom and saw that someone moved the Pull-Ups from Ryan’s suitcase to my top drawer. I took one out and put it on. Then I looked for a tee shirt to put on. None of the clean tee shirts were long enough to cover the Pull-Ups so I looked for a dirty one in the bathroom. I guess my mom took the dirty laundry down to the laundry room because the basket was empty. I just put on one of the shorter tee shirts and sat down on the floor in the living room next to Ryan. I don’t remember what I was watching but it must have been pretty boring cause I fell asleep on the floor. I woke up in the middle of the night again sopping wet. I left my bedroom and went into the living room. I guess it wasn’t as late as it was the night before when I woke up because my uncle was still up. He was sitting on the couch watching TV. He saw me and said, “What’s up? Can’t sleep.” I said I was gonna go get my dad. He asked me why but before I answered, he saw the wet Pull-Ups. Then he said, “Uh oh!” I pulled up my saggy Pull-Ups a little. He asked, “Want a little help there?” I didn’t answer. He got up and took my hand and brought me back in my room. I stood over by my bed. This time there was only a very small leak spot on the sheets so they didn’t need to be changed, just me. Uncle Mike took out one of Ryan’s Pampers diapers. He also got another one of the Pull-Ups and held them up to each other. He said, “They look like they’re about the same size. You wanna try one?” Again, I didn’t answer. He said, “Ya know, I needed these when I was younger, I had a problem until I was in my teens. If you don’t wanna wear one you don’t have to. They might be a little tight but they shouldn’t leak as bad as those.”

 

I said ok and I took off my wet Pull-Ups. Then I laid down on my bed and Uncle Mike taped up my Pampers. It felt much different from the Pull-Ups. It was a little tight just like Uncle Mike said but there weren’t any gaps. Then Uncle Mike said goodnight and left the room. I just laid on my bed thinking about the Pampers I was wearing. I felt like a baby kind of but it was also kinda cool.

 

I guess I was all peed out from earlier that night. When I woke up, I saw that I didn’t wet anymore after I changed into the Pampers. I immediately took it off and put on a pair of shorts. I went out to the kitchen where My Aunt Claire was sitting with a cup of coffee. She asked me if I wanted to go on a sailboat with her and my mom or go to the beach with my dad, my uncle, and my cousin. I wanted to go on the sailboat.

 

          That afternoon when we got back from the boat, we met up with my dad, uncle and Ryan and we went to dinner. Then my dad took Ryan and me down to the beach to fly his kite and collect seashells. Then bedtime came again and it was back to Pampers. Ryan saw me take on out of his bag and said, “Those are mine, you’re like me!” I smiled at him and said, “yeah, I guess.”

 

          Later that night when Ryan and I were in bed, I felt like I had to pee a little. I was already in the diaper so I just let it trickle out. No leaks at all. And I remember peeing a lot more than I thought I had too. I fell asleep in the wet diaper just like my little cousin would have. I did feel weird because I knew I was much older than Ryan and all those other kids on the beach that I saw running around by the waves wearing a bloated saggy diaper. But still, I was smart enough even back then, to know that I couldn’t stop the wetting so there was no point in trying.

 

          I kept on wearing diapers like that until I was about 10 or 11. Then Goodnites came out and I wore those for a while. Then the size 6 diaper came out and I have been wearing those ever since. My bedwetting is finally starting to slow down now that I’m 16. That’s a really good thing because Pampers 6 are very tight on me now even though I’m so thin. My parents can never find adult diapers that fit me and Goodnites leak worse than anything else I’ve tried. So thank god it’s finally ending!