How To Become Incontinent

By Baby Anonymous

Table of Contents

Disclaimer

This work is meant for achieving total incontinence. Some techniques within this document may be found questionable by some medical physicians, and the procedures discussed in this letter could be viewed as a direct violation of the Hippocratic Oath. The writer takes no responsibility nor will the writer be found liable for any resulting medical problems as a result of carrying out the procedures in this paper. Some procedures aren't considered under certain health standards to be healthy or nutritional in some cases. Also, some of the procedures which deal with the mental and or psychological aspects of the human mind shouldn't be undertaken by individuals who may have certain psychotic disorders which might cause them severe problem in terms of being aware of reality. Anyone continuing past this disclaimer or carrying out some of the steps listed in this paper does so at his or her own risk, and agree's with the above disclaimer, and to it's references to liability, and legal procedure under a court of law.

The guidelines and agreeing terms understood by the reader and or persons who carry out the actions in this document, also apply to any person or persons responsible for the distribution of this paper are by no means liable for the actions of others who wish to utilize the procedures and steps in this document. This disclaimer covers both the author and any other organization, group, or person who publishes, or makes this document to any person via electronic e-mail, wet publication, letter through the mail, news article, phone, or by any other methods used to make such a document viewable to the public, be it the general populous, or private individuals.

Something to ponder before you continue reading this document, or carrying out the steps. Do you want to be incontinent? If you really become incontinent you'll be helpless, and won't know when you're pooping or peeing. It will just happen, and you'll feel it come out, and by then it will be to late to prevent it. Also, people will smell the products of your elimination, and may feel a little disturbed about it. If you are incontinent, you can't help it, but also know that if you think you would feel embarrassed about pooping or peeing yourself in public, then I wouldn't like you to feel this way. What do you want? Do you want to take the time to get used to being smelled, and just tune out the comments of others, then this might be right for you. But, if you don't like embarrassment, or don't want to take the time to try do ignore something you don't think you can ignore, then perhaps this isn't for you. Whatever you do, make sure it's what you really want.

To my readers. I am very happy to have finally completed this very much needed book on how to become incontinent. There have been some very misleading ways in the past that promise incontinence, and have caused temporary incontinence, but also have caused bladder infections, and have even warranted medical remedy in case of a more extreme nature. I hope to aid other TBs, ABs, and DLs, find the path to freedom through simple, easy, painless steps, to regaining their incontinence, and being able to regress in to a state of emotional security, and or freedom, and perhaps relieve some of his or her stress found in daily living. Enjoy this book.

For those of you who want to be incontinent, whether wetting or messing, this book contains many methods on how to achieve this. Good luck.

This book is divided in to sections. Some methods are your normal mental focusing, while others utilize such techniques as self-hypnosis, and other suggestions in regaining your control of non control.

A side bar for your mental appetizer

If you desire to feel the sensations of sucking your thumb again, or from drinking from a bottle. just relax, and feel the sensations going against your soft palate. Take a squirt gun, a thermos that doesn't have a large drinking spout hole, and tilt your head back. Then, focus the stream of water on your tongue for a bit, and then let the bead of water squirt on to your soft palate, the part that goes up when you yawn. Aim it so it squirts in to your mouth on to the spot where that boney ridge is, and just a little farther up, after the ridge. This can feel slightly erotic if you do it right, bringing a smile to your face, or causing your nostrils to flair. You will, if the water isn't to fast or slow when coming out, get the experience of what it feels like when a woman is lactating from a baby's perspective. Ok, now on to the rest of the book, and how to be incontinent.

Research Tips

What to look for as you progress

When trying to reach incontinence, here are some of the things you should look for in your body as you make progress. I can't exactly explain this part, but if you have an active mind and can visualize, or can incorporate reality in to your everyday life, this ability will make it easier to achieve total incontinence. I am not setting dates for others without the ability to do this. You will make progress in and on your own time.

Experience and Insight

Another bad habit to have. When I was a baby, and just potty trained, I noticed that it felt weird when I walked, or just doing nothing. I would constantly clench my muscles whenever or whereever I would be. In case you haven't noticed, the muscles I'm referring to when I say sphincter, are the ones you use to squirt out that last drop of pee at the end of your session, and the muscles you use to hold in your pee. Think of it. When you feel the need to pee, you immediately clench these muscles together. This is like a trap door suddenly closing, and preventing you from peeing or pooping your pants. Let me explain. Place your hand, palm down and with your fingers extended in front of you. Then, slowly bend your hand, first at the wrist, then at the first row of knuckles, and then a little at the second row, giving your hand a curl. If you look at your hand, you may find that your fingertips are level with the ceiling, or whereever you are. In other words, your fingers are level, and there is no slant, and no decent or ascent. Now, place your hand under your scrotum, if you're a boy, and the front of your vagina if you're a girl, and repeat what you just did with your hand and fingers. You will notice that your hand is grabbing or cupping your intimacy, and mimicking the exact thing your body does when you feel the need to pee or poop. Now, do the same thing again, but place your hand against your bottom. In either procedure, your purpose isn't to lift your anatomy, it is however, to explain to you what happens in your body after potty training, when you have to eliminate. Now try to clench your muscles again, or if you still can't do it, wait until the next time you have to go to the bathroom, and feel what your muscles when you void. Then notice what they do when you are finished. You will know what I am talking about. It may not be possible to relax these muscles every second of the day, but relaxing when you have to go to the bathroom can help significantly when desiring to be incontinent.

When you have to pee, you will notice the need to just let go when you have to go. Allow this to happen. Your penis is linked to the perineum, and will just release your fluids. This is a neat feeling when it occurs unchallenged, and you may get an erection. Also, when you have to poop, whether it's soft or a little firm, you will notice the obvious pressure insistently pressing against the opening of your rectum. Don't push it out if it's trying to come out on it's own. Just relax completely, and you will feel your rectum open automatically, and your bowels will eject your stool in to your diaper, or whatever you are wearing. Begin to feel in your upper body, about the region of your stomach, a sensation like nervousness. This is what you should be looking for. As your feces try to exit, you will feel your body try to take shallower breaths. Also, while this is occurring, you will feel the butterflies in your stomach feel like they're pushing in to your lower body. Totally relax, but let this feeling pervade your being. It may seem like your lower bowels are trying to push expel your feces on their own, and you may notice the butterflies being felt in the lower bowels now, trying to push out your stool. You may feel as if the butterflies are causing you to breathe in as you take your dump. This is because the breathing reflex is tied in with survival and possibly the ego. This, in turn, is tied in with the poop reflex. It, too, is related to the id, and so as you breathe, your abdominals may tighten, and the butterflies you feel in your solar plexus, and in your lower stomach and bowels will combine in to a reflex. This is as if you're vomiting from your lower extremities, because they contract in almost the same process. Yes, in a way, this is almost the same reflex when you throw up. When you vomit, the reflex is almost the same, except that a different set of muscles in your stomach which are also linked to the solar plexus contract in a different way, causing your body to eructation your partially digested food out through your mouth, where upon you complain to the person who served you that bad food. But, don't worry, when defecating in this matter, you will not vomit. When this process occurs in both babies and incontinence or non potty trained humans, energy is focused in the lower abdomen and stomach. In order to vomit, you would have to use your solar plexus to draw energy in to your lungs, because they are also responsible for bringing up your lunch, and make your upper chest contract and push upward, causing you to horf. I do not recommend that anyone try this out. This is a reflex that happens naturally, and on its own when you are ill. Enough logistics. This is just to explain how the natural defecation process works for those who wish to further their studies. When you develop this funny feeling in your bowels, your body will defecate on it's own, allowing you to once again feel the innocent pleasures of babyhood. After you defecate, you may be bathed in something of an orgasm. Not the kind that is felt during normal sexual activity, but more like an afterglow felt by women after orgasm, and by babies after they defecate in their diapers. This is also felt by animals that live in the wild who haven't been paper trained.

For Further Regression

Do you remember what it felt like as a child, when you couldn't control your bowels? The reason I write this expantion on this pleasant or unpleasant topic, is because I would like you to know the role this plays in your regression. As this reflex was introduced daily in to your baby life, and before the period of erotization, your just saw your experiences as something that happened. But, soon you began to enjoy these sensations as you became more and more engrossed in your life as a baby. As you made progress in shaping your life around you as a baby, you began to intensely enjoy these experiences. Soon, your feces will become unstoppable as your rectum ejects your stools in to your diaper. Do you remember what it felt like as a child, when you'd have to sit on your heel, and when it just came out when you remove your heel from your bottom? Remember what is felt like, feeling your stool rubbing the outer walls of your rectum as it just came out, because your bowels just had a mind of their own, and just pushed it out, with out you even having to grunt? That's what it feels like.

Easy steps for those having difficulty achieving their goal

It is probably known by some individuals, that drinking plenty of water can make it easier to flush out toxins from the body. The trick in incontinence is pressure. If one is going to make it impossible for him or her to hold urine, or at least urinate (I.E. wet his or her diaper, clothes, or surrounding area as soon as he or she feel's the need), the water will be a constant reminder of the ache felt in the bladder. Ya know? This may seem grueling to some people, but feeling an annoyance isn't exactly fun for your body. You'll feel like you're peeing constantly, and instead of holding in your urine, your body will say, "The heck with it.", and pee the moment it feels the slightest fullness in its bladder. Like a baby, your body will perceive this feeling as annoying, and you'll be able to recapture that muscular habit of just going when you want to. You'll feel like the ache is close to your urethral opening, the tube in your penis. This is due to the urine getting close to the second ring of muscles in your bladder's sphincter. Usually, when adults feel that aching feeling, they've been conditioned to holding it for so many years, that they usually feel it in their bladder, somewhere in their lower abdomen because when they feel the tiniest urge to urinate, they clench their sphincter and ignore the urge until their dulled pain receptors finally discover it's time to go to the potty. When they close off their sphincter, this causes the urine to backflow into their bladder, and weakens the muscles that cause your bladder muscle to contract, allowing you to have control of when and where you expel your urine; however, if you want to lose control over your bladder, you must urinate the moment you feel the need. Just let it flow freely with out any hindrance on your part, and you will begin to pass urine without having to hold anything in.

The same rule of thumb applies when wetting your bed or diapers in your sleep. Just trust that you will wet your diapers in your sleep by using the sensations described first off in this paper, along with the aid of water, and feeling that this will occur, because you have the right to happiness and freedom. Remember, wishes come true if you have the power to help them a long. Drink as much water as you can without feeling uncomfortable before bedtime. Make sure that the need to urinate isn't present, just inevitable after you go to sleep. Make sure that you say to your subconscious that it's okay to just be free and pee in your sleep. Make sure you believe it! Then go to sleep. If by some chance you wake up, don't allow yourself to go to the bathroom. On a peace of paper tacked on the wall where you can see it easily, write the following, "You're not allowed to go to the bathroom. You're not a big boy, and big boys go to the bathroom, and since you want to be a baby, it's okay to use your pants, or your diapers." Even though this may sound like a parent who is chastising you for not having any control over your bladder or bowels, use this to say that, that message, and you may pretend it's from who ever made you feel a little ashamed as a child, is absolutely right.

Also say or have below the message you've previously written, something to this effect: "The negative effects of the experiences that caused my guilt, will no longer effect me." This may cause the person, and the guilt associated with that person to heal itself, and take away the guilt left on your subconscious, allowing you to be free to wet or mess yourself with out restraint. Also, it is sometimes a good idea to write on paper, or record on tape the following truths: "Relaxing and being free to urinate or defecate anytime anywhere is a really good thing. It's not wrong to want to be free!" Say or write this in a manner that is convincing to you, and that overwrites any negativity that caused you to believe to the contrary. Place your paper everywhere you can see it, in your refrigerator, on your bedroom wall, on top of the TV set. Or record it on tape so you can listen to it in the morning or anytime you are having doubt, and before you sleep to instill this in to your subconscious. When you urinate, Imagine that it's your control going down the drain. Feel happy, and like you don't care anymore, and that your losing all control because you don't need to control those muscles anymore. Your parents, nor anybody else can harm you or prevent you from losing control. You're allowed to do it, and no one's gonna hurt you for peeing or pooping uncontrollably. Pooping any time any where isn't bad or wrong at all. It's just a fear implant, placed in your brain to do what is supposedly normal, and desired by the general populous! Not by all the people on this planet! Just relax more each time. Just release control from your bladder. While in the bathroom focus on when you need to urinate. What do you do when you have to pee? You stand or sit at the urinal or the toilet, wait for yourself to get situated, and then, as if you've got this down to a science, timed to the most abstract detail, you begin to urinate or defecate in the toilet when you feel it's the right time. Think about your body. How long do you wait before urinating? What is the specific time you wait before you urinate or defecate? Think of the relaxation procedures you go through. First, you stand at or sit on the john. Then you feel in your mind that you are sure that no one's listening, and that you have time enough to do what you went there to do. (It feels like time has stretched, and that you have time before and time ahead and know one's going to interrupt you.) While you're going, think of what you do while going through the motions. What does your mind do. Does it say now, or OK, do you concentrate? Does it feel like there's an emotional feeling that says that it's safe to go? Your mind will tell you if you listen to what's going through the subconscious programming skills that have been placed in it. Begin to understand that your diapers are your toilet. If you do this, you will see this desire to wet and mess anytime and where ever you want, making your desires a reality. After all, if you know it's the right time to pee or poop in the toilet, you will also feel it is appropriate to wet or mess when ever you want, by recognizing that your diapers, pants, or anywhere is the appropriate time and place to go.

Also think about how you can get rid of these constraints and inhibitions preventing you from accomplishing your goals. For example, when you feel the urge to pee or poop, stand or sit at the toilet bowl at first, and release at least one second before the usual time that you release your urine or feces. After you are releasing your pee or poop as soon as you get to the commode, try doing this another way. Remember, you must get rid of the insecure feeling you receive when wetting or messing your pants, or the surrounding area. Ask yourself this before preceding. Try writing this on a peace of paper, and if this isn't enough, in addition to the questions on paper, record your questions on a tape recorder, and leave yourself ample time between each question for writing your answers. Spend as much time as you need, and pause the tape as necessary. Don't think too hard about the questions, but rather let your mind guide you in each answer. Don't let pride, or your ego get in the way of your answer. Here are the questions.

  1. Why am I finding it hard to pee and poop when ever I want to? What is stopping me, and why?
  2. What can I do to fix it?

Then try to think of creative ideas on ways to solve your problem. And remember, you can do it. The only thing that slows you down is you don't believe you can do it, and you haven't given it a good tried-and-true shot when it comes down to putting your strategy in to effect. Try to find any blocks that could be impeding you in the process of regaining total incontinence. Go back to your childhood if you have to, and list on paper all the reasons you can think of that are blocking you, whether they be your parents threatening you, whether you feel that to be incontinent would be losing control in some aspect of your life. Remember, just because you're going to become incontinent doesn't mean that you're not a strong grown-up or a strong person. To stop feeling victimized by this fear, try to add something to your living habits that would make you appear to others and yourself as having control. I think the biggest feature is your incontinence could make you stronger, because without that blinding, lying, defense mechanism in the way, you can see what you are inside, and deal with life in a more confident way, because you can find other more efficient ways of having courage, strength, and control of your life as you know it.

Concentrate on your bladder first, then your bowels. Each time, try to hold it in less. Grip with less intensity and let go with more force, freedom, and ease each time, until you're powerless to prevent urine or feces from escaping into your pants or diaper. Remember, you made this choice, and you aren't a victim. Frankly, it's quite nice, and freeing! I'm just beginning to experience these sensations, and now I can devote more of my being to everything I do on a day-to-day basis, without devoting half my brain to controlling something, that's just as well left alone. I enjoy it. I just relax, and let things happen on their own. It just comes out when it wants to!

If the above procedures are difficult or don't seem to work well, try to go back, in your mind, to the time when this need to control of your voiding habits was invented in your brain. If you can, lie on your bed, and go back in your mind to when you were first potty trained. Feel that you're the age your now, and then slowly go back year by year if you must, or if you can, go back two years at a time. Be patient. Your subconscious mind, the part of the mind that records everything that ever happened to you, whether good or bad, will guide you. Try to let it carry you back in your mind to the time you were a baby, toddler, or preschooler. Remember, you have control. When you do this, it may feel like you're starting to dream. Let it happen. The reason this happens is because this part of your mind is deep inside yourself where it can't affect your conscious mind. Caution, before doing this, try not to be afraid of what you may find when you do this. This will only stop you from accomplishing your goal of being totally incontinent. Think of it as liberating yourself when you do this, and tell your mind that it's all right. Surround yourself with the white light of love and protection, and know that even if you experience some of the things you've gone through again. Remember that they can't hurt you, and that you're doing this to uncover information and or experiences so you can see what's causing this block to occur. Go through all points in your life that you think may be relevant in your situation. When you find out all you want to know, feel that you're going to carry this information back with you, and then go forward to your birthday, then maybe a couple years, and so on until you arrive whole and in tacked in the present. Write on paper, as many details as you can about your experience, and about what you remembered. Then, use this information in your quest to become incontinent.

More Extreme Techniques

Nighttime bedwetting, and extremities for the third extremity

Caution, these solutions are only supposed to be used if it is difficult to wet the bed from just an annoying feeling in your bladder, regression to discover hidden blocks, and or other such motivators.

If nighttime incontinence can not be achieved due to trying too hard, not being relaxed, or being really dominated by a fear that there will be consequences for peeing the bed, first of all, lose the guilt and fear. It will only slow down you and the work you are doing. Caution, if under 12 years of age, I don't recommend this procedure due to your age, and that the following dosage may not be healthy for your system. Also, it is not recommended that the following be carried out if you are taking an antidepressant. If you take the following steps, you do so at your own risk.

It is suggested that you take about 50 to 100 milligrams of Benadryl. You will need to experiment with the dosage, because everybody is different, and you may go to sleep with just 50 MG, or if you aren't a sound sleeper, you may need 100 MG of Benadryl to help you sleep. (Do not exceed this quantity.) It will help you sleep, and relax you and your sphincter, but you want to wake up the next morning, don't you?

Drink as much water as you can without feeling uncomfortable before bedtime. Make sure that as before, the need to urinate isn't present, just inevitable after you go to sleep. The Benadryl you took will keep you relaxed and keep you asleep. As your body processes the water you drank, the pressure will continue to build in your bladder. You will be so asleep, your body will not wake up to the need to urinate, and you will wet your bed/diaper, and won't remember doing it, in which case, your body will file this action in the deeper region of the subconscious under the heading of automated tasks, and will do this automatically each time you sleep. After a few nights of this, reduce the dosage to 25 milligrams, then 12.5 milligrams, and then stop taking it all together. The medicine will have gotten your body in to a habit by then, and you will not need it to pee during your sleep. Useful tips, don't drink tea, coffee, or anything with caffeine in it. These will usually keep you awake, and will not ade you in your quest for incontinence.

Try drinking milk before going to bed. The milk has triptathein in it, the chemical your body makes when you want to sleep.

Extra Help

Program by affirmation, just say and believe, "I won't wake up when I need to go to the bathroom because it's okay to go whenever I want." Embrace the freedom you will have when you do wet the bed. Babies do. And remember, it's perfectly safe and it's okay to go in your sleep or whenever you want, and any fears about this you may have can be put aside. You're allowed to forget them. You're allowed to not be afraid of them. They can't harm you any more. It's your decision once again. This will work if you believe it!

Conditions in Real Life

Notes on guilt

People in hospitals who are in a coma usually have this happen to them, because they can't wake up and use the bathroom for months, and their body automatically response to the situation by naturally voiding its contents like it has done since infancy. This natural voiding response is found in every animal across the globe. It's just stopped by paper training, toilet training, or just simply wishing to mark one's territory can compel animals to either hold in their urine until they find a spot, or drink water before they decide to mark their territory so their bladder's will be full enough to impress their mates or tell other males to keep away!

Anyway, enough of nature mechanics, the important thing is to totally lose your guilt when conducting any elaborate or non-elaborate steps towards incontinence. I repeat, lose the guilt. When you have to go to the bathroom, it doesn't matter what position you're in at the moment, where you are, or what you are doing, you just go, and you'll see that you'll soon develop a habit of just going whenever you want, where ever you want. Tip, one day I noticed that when I had to pee, I would stand up, but I would feel my muscles hold back if I were lying on my bed or sitting in a chair. Bad habit. also, I use to reposition my penis in my diaper before I'd start peeing. Another bad habit. It doesn't matter what you're doing, if you've got your hand down your diaper positioning whatever, or if you're pointed the wrong way, it doesn't matter! The moment you feel that urge, just relax and go like you didn't have a care in the world. Pretty soon, you'll be just as incontinent as any 1-year-old.

Like any baby, be safe. Keep hydrated, and don't go to harsh extremes in regaining your freedom. Fact is, your body will tell you when it doesn't like something that's too harsh, and will pay you back in the long run. Using harsh methods could not only damage your system and permanently damage your body, but such treatment and lack of self-respect could severely impact your mind by changing your views of yourself as the unique and wonderful individual you are. Being to mean to yourself, because you can't achieve overnight incontinence can cause you to drop the importance of treating yourself in a positive way, and you could potentially do yourself harm by neglecting your well being. Picture yourself as a baby when deciding how you wish to start your quest for incontinence. Treat yourself in your quest to become totally incontinent as you would treat a baby who wants to be loved and free, not unlike your own inner child, and it will all come together.

Now, for those who want to mess uncontrollably. The same principle applies when losing control of your bowels. Just go whenever you feel the need to, regardless of place or circumstances. Easier said than done, right? Just imagine when you feel the need to poop, the ring of anal muscles opening as gravity, and the muscular contractions of your bowels force out your stool. Try to understand or interpret this with your own body. Whenever you feel the need to poop, there shouldn't be any grunting, unless your bowel movements are firm. When you feel the need, just totally relax your anal sphincter and don't clench your sphincter muscles again until you've answered the call of nature. When the need arises, and you've progressed to sphincter relaxation, you'll just be so relaxed that your muscles will work on their own, and you'll be passing your stools as helplessly, and as easily as a newborn who hasn't mastered control of both his bladder and bowels. Caution, be prepared for pooping accidents.

Other tips for incontinence

Eat a lot of pureed vegies, drink water from sunup to sundown, and eat grain cereal or other foods with grain in them to keep everything balanced and healthy. Also, eat a lot of fruit and vegetables that are juicy. These will help you to release more water from your body, both in your bladder and stool content, thus making bowel movements softer, and easier to pass, making it easier to become incontinent. Caution, don't eat anything spicy. Spiced foods or foods with a lot of salt will demote your system, sucking the water out of your body to compensate for the acid and negative enzymes from the type of food you put in to it. Again, be safe. If you truly wish to be incontinent, your mind will take to this all on it's own. And remember, incontinence is like a girlfriend who loves someone else after she pledges her love and honor to you. There's really no need to hang on to it if it is indeed going to keep you from experienceing all the joys life has to offer, or keep you unhappy, or or pining over soemthing that is best let go in order to know yourself better.

Incontinence and What to Expect

While regaining your incontinence, be prepared for an additional responsibility. While the responsibility of controlling your bladder and bowels is no longer your concern, be prepared to clean up accidents. They'll happen often. For example, if your out of your diapers for any amount of time, and have gotten used to this incontinence reprogramming, you may discover that you will unintentionally pee or poop on the floor. Or you may be lying down, while putting on your diaper, and may find yourself peeing in your own face. It's just your response to your body's need to urinate, and should be tended to. I would recommend peeing in every scenario you can think of. If needed, pee in your face, or wet the bed, or pee on the floor or halfway across the room on your Aunt Sally as she watches your girlfriend change your messy diaper. The point is, you may have to do things you would feel most guilty about doing, in order to make yourself not feel guilty, so you can get away from that. When you've done the things you've previously felt guilty about, and can't prevent yourself from wetting or messing when or wherever you are at the moment, take care that you don't continue with out protection. For instance. place a rag or towel over your penis so you don't spray anything in your immediate or not so immediate vicinity.

The above things may seem a little gross, and you may be thinking to yourself, "I could never do that.", but you can. Odds are you've got guilty feelings from either your parents, or other family members saying that if you do things like that there will be negative mental or physical consequences. It doesn't matter how long ago this threat occurred, it could have been recent, or it could have been remembered from long ago in your childhood. You or whoever it is that feels that way about your doing such things as urinating where or whenever you choose may be led by the bandwagon of, "No one else does that and so it's not appropriate or normal in society.", to make you feel guilty. People long ago based these assumptions on one person of a small group of people's dislike for that particular action: Perhaps due to their being exposed to something so quickly, or being made to feel guilty by there own experiences with other people from their past. My advice is lose it. Those types of negative feelings will weaken your beliefs in your ability in achieving total incontinence.

After you've become incontinent, you may notice that you will be enjoying this to the point that it may seem to be interfering with your life by it's happening, included with the elation that you were able to pull it off! Not to worry. After the first shocks, and the novelty of it wears off, you'll return to a state of normalcy, all though the feelings you first received won't go away totally. You'll just accept this as a new part of your life which you can adapt to, and do whatever it is that you normally do. Enjoy your freedom. It is yours to have, and no one can take it away from you.